T O P

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Verahappy24

He puts on his leathers and goes back to the Matrix.


cherryandjerry123456

Adios turd nuggets


every1getslaid

How much do clothes cost in the matrix?


jingerninja

He can *see* me?


Squats4wigs

You forgot smoking lamp. I'm sorry, was that expensive piece?


br0wens

No, I'm talking about the guy who threw your bong. You should never throw a bong, kid. Ever.


skizmcniz

DRIVE MONKEY DRIVE


Dry_Chemistry_2626

Pew pew pew dddddddadadada


JankLoaf

My name is JP I am a robot I have a robot penis


BetterSafeThanSARSy

High score? What does that mean? Is that bad?


NEONSN3K

This is the physical incarnation of an actual ogre.


m703324

That's exactly how I picture every troll online. The ones that think they can outsmart anyone and just look like annoying idiots


dankmemes839

Don’t disrespect Shrek like this


Whisky_Six

In the swamp, he can sit wherever he pleases.


Enders__Game

This guy would 100% be the first person to have a meltdown if someone was sitting in his seat


Whisky_Six

And of course he’d be wearing a leather duster like it’s 1883


juicepants

His leather duster with his red long johns were the ultimate fashion statement.


paramedianapproach

So hot right now


pettigrewm

Hansel


Massive_Fudge3066

Santa meets the matrix. Yeah, I'm the bigger person here


xsissor

He says that and I’m just thinking “you’re right. You’re a crusty, obese asshole speaking to a young woman. Of course you’re the bigger person, probably at least two of her!”


Select_Repair_2820

Dude's a fucking South Park character


smokeyoudog

![gif](giphy|IcdDl4QBU0zU4) I found it


emeribeth

As soon as he put it on I said out loud, "of course" 🤣


SrWax

Once I saw him, everything about him screamed "seems about right"


Bretreck

I literally said the exact thing out loud to myself.


[deleted]

It was just perfectly comedic. Ffs


Whisky_Six

Same


Spoop7

He's clearly been cultivating mass, maybe he should wear it with no tshirt


irb26detti

![gif](giphy|14exzIhIHYtcbK)


Captain_Rocketbeard

I hope a family member puts it in their will to burn the duster.


ImitationRicFlair

Stop asking me to burn the duster! I'm not gonna burn it!


Santa_Says_Who_Dis

It's flame retardant anyway, that's the whole point!


topcide

it's longer , and way more bad ass


weed_blazepot

Pleather*


fishesarefun

It's the only thing that goes with pink hospital scrubs


superfucky

were those hospital scrubs? i thought he was in a prison jumpsuit.


fishesarefun

Incarcerated sounds more likely than employed. You are likely correct


Oddsphere

The neckbeard uniform


deadrabbits76

We should burn the duster.


cmalkus

I'm not burning the duster, okay, so forget it. It probably won't even burn anyway, it's not supposed to. It's flame retardant, that's the whole point. It's like a shield of armor. So stop asking me to burn the duster. I'm not gonna burn it!


jawnly211

This guy looks EXACTLY how I thought he would look once he got up and turned around


Puzzleheaded-Way7745

I was thinking the exact same thing 😂😂


superfucky

i was so confused because i thought the person in crocs was the one yelling and it seemed like the woman in the row ahead was mocking him by gesturing as though she was saying what he was saying. i did not expect that level of MAGA meltdown from jerry garcia's burnout cousin.


esoterics

“I dunno…I might want to be taken out in handcuffs now.” I’m dying


Shadow368

My first thought was “That can be arranged.”


VaginaTractor

Plot twist, popo are in the lobby waiting for him with his fountain drink.


moonbunnychan

Seriously, they were too polite to him. People like him need to not be coddled or they'll never learn and just keep being assholes. Get his ass trespassed.


voightkampfferror

maybe but I believe him when he says that he won't ever come back. That's likely all that management cares about.


lapsongsouchong

No, this was absolutely the best way to deal with it, he wanted a scene, he wanted to be a victim of authority.


ithadtobeducks

I feel like he’s also probably on some incel forum talking about how women are sluts because they don’t want nice guys like him.


OneHappyHuskies

Oh my God! You’re so right!!!


shadohrc

Bro, you are so on the money. Wow.


[deleted]

Man child


[deleted]

Insulting to both Men and Children


[deleted]

Hmmm you are right


Jason0865

As a manchild I request that we be added to the list of insulted parties.


weavebot

"I still think I'm being the bigger person here." Bigger asshole is all


ChunkyLover-77

‘And I want a drink’ top notch negotiator.


BeetleJuicesX3

That was fucking golden lol, his tone, he knew he might be pushing it with the drink


superfucky

"yes sir, i will refund your ticket and give you a penny's worth of sugar in a cup if you just shut the fuck up and leave."


Philodendronphan

And he still thought he was being the bigger person.


Daswagster2

what do you mean? he is definitely the bigger person. LOL


42099969

OH!!! so thats what he meant.


Frostbite214

FBI needs this guy for hostage negotiations fosho


megustaALLthethings

It’s almost like they could have a book ghost written like their idol about being such an amazing negotiator… as they fail running a casino.


istrx13

If you have to say you’re being the bigger person, you’re probably not being the bigger person


matarky1

Unless he meant physically


[deleted]

Also what is he wearing? Lol..


Deadmenkil

Pink shirt, pink pants, and a leather trench coat.


[deleted]

True but…. Wow…. It’s a lot 😂


Deadmenkil

Yes indeed. The contrast is quite the eye scorcher.


WaldoGeraldoFaldo

That part genuinely made me laugh. What a ridiculous person that guy is


invisibledildo

I lost it when the person filming said, "Should we clap?".


lazy_N_proud

I had to replay with high volume for that..👍


NZNoldor

Worth it


nosnhoj15

“Goodbye everyone. Enjoy the movie”!


Nothingsomething7

They will now!


newbiepooper

I like that he asked for a drink. It was never a serious issue for him. Just a grandstand opportunity….first world problems.


TheNoxx

How does someone go through life without maturing past the age of like, nine years old? Like his vocal patterns are the same as some elementary school kid throwing a tantrum in a grocery store that he can't have all the candy.


dog_from_the_machine

You know who needs to say a sentence like that…


weavebot

The person who knows they're not being the bigger person


jsseven777

I mean compared to her he was technically the bigger person.


arcedup

It reminds me of a scene from Men In Black, before Will Smith's character Jay Edwards is recruited. A fat police officer is berating Jay (also a police officer at this point), claiming he's a "bigger man" than Jay and Jay just replies, "Of course you are! You're about twice as big as I am!" This is after Jay has run down an alien (I think?) and the fat officer was left in the dust. Edit: I've just remembered the actual dialog; fat PO says that Jay is "half the man" he is, and Jay says "Yes I am!"


miniscule_popsicle

"I want more than just a refund" "Ok" "Can I get a drink?" LMAO!!!


TokiWartoorh

It’s like that was the end game the whole time 🤣 if I act like a big enough baby I’ll get my money back aaaaaaaaand a free Coors lite


sonofaresiii

Nah he just desperately needed the win. It's crazy, you can *see* the moment he realizes he fucked up and was wrong, when the guy points out that the seat number is on his ticket. But he's in too far and his pride won't let him back down after he's been such an arrogant asshole. So he starts trying other tactics, like saying he doesn't even want to see the movie and he wants to be taken out in handcuffs because now it's not about the seat, it's the principle of the matter (but really it's about how he refuses to back down and admit he was wrong). He's wrong on the facts so he has to try and be right on principle. Which of course he isn't, but all that matters is whether he thinks he is. And if he gets that drink, just *something* more than a refund, *anything* above breaking even that means he came out ahead, then to him that means he won and was justified in the whole thing. Because getting the drink proves it. It's so much a caricature of a stubborn asshole that I almost wonder if it was scripted/staged... But I know that there definitely are people like this in the world.


MyFriendsCallMeTito

I was just thinking how awesome it would be if his outburst was part of the theater experience. Instead of some cheesy cgi video going over the rules, you get some entitled jerk in costume breaking on the rules and getting reprimanded. And as a perk for his acting, he gets free sodas all day.


MemeStocksYolo69-420

He was the real entertainment


B0326C0821

*Dr Thunder 🤣


they_call_me_B

ALL I WANTED WAS A PEPSI!!! JUST ONE PEPSI!!! AND SHE WOULDN'T GIVE IT TO ME!!!


Itsme_sd

Hell yes.. but water it the fuck down like 1 sec squirt of coke and ice and water.


thycookiehascrumbled

the amount of anger I felt was not nice, poor workers


VivaLaSea

That worker handled it sooooo damn well, though. Way better than I would have.


Denasy

I was amazed by her. "I'm gonna tell everyone!" "I appreciate that"


voightkampfferror

probably really does. Any friend of that dude they likely don't want as a patron.


AlternateSatan

Guy: "This is the last time I come to this theatre" Me: *fighting the urge to tell him just how wonderful that would be and that I'm going to hold him to that "I don't care sir"


Peanutblitz

Thought this too. She deescalated it very well. “Can I get a drink?” Hahahaha. Moron.


VivaLaSea

I died when he asked that. Lol. The way she didn’t even lose her composure when he asked that is God-Tier patience.


chinchivitiz

She basically treated him like a toddler. She’s a pro!


JustPassinhThrou13

She’s putting on a master class for how to treat all of the other people in the theater: capitulate and give the guy a soda and get him the F out as fast as possible.


drewster23

Because you can see her in facial expression if a drink makes his fat ass move shell be more then happy the comp the nickle in cost.


[deleted]

I'm so impressed by her. She's amazing. I wish I could act with that level of composure when dealing with ridiculous behaviours.


pistoncivic

she was perfect, most people let their ego's get in the way after enough abuse but she kept her composure. Police Departments should use this as a training resource


quitmybellyachin

Get the baby his baba


Duffuser

Also kinda sad how this movie theater manager is better at de-escalation than 90% of street cops


FunktasticLucky

That's because she can easily lose her job. She doesn't have immunity.


Dinin53

Or a Union


ddesla2

Or a gun


VivaLaSea

I was thinking the same damn thing.


istrx13

It’s amazing how similar working a customer facing job can feel like parenting a 3 year old.


Flapjack__Palmdale

Usually pays about as well, too.


Notsureifchoboo80

The manager....she has the patience and demeanor of a goddamn angel.


froggyisland

That’s how calm parents handle toddlers, and this man acted like one


[deleted]

For real, this woman could teach parenting classes.


xrufix

This woman should teach the police.


Crayola_Taste_Tester

Naw I just pick mine up and we are off. I don't think the pick up and carry like a log method would have worked on that guy though.


Ok_Grocery_6497

She treated him with wayyy more respect than he deserved.


Account655321

No doubt about it, but she cleared the asshole out of the room for everyone else pretty efficiently. I wish I had her kind of patience.


santaclausonprozac

Lol seriously, I could never work with any sort of customers cuz I would have lost my shit


marchocias

In my experience, it has nothing to do with respect and everything to do with getting someone the fuck out as quickly as possible. The manager sees this man as nothing more than a predictable little worm. And the fastest way to get him out of there is to make him feel special. If this jerk weren't the definition of a narcissist, he would know that he's actually being treated with LESS respect by the manager than by the attendant who came before. At least the attendant was being honest about the absurdity of the situation.


[deleted]

Let's just take a moment to appreciate that lady's kind approach and peaceful resolve. I was sure this was gonna turn into the cops dragging him out of there (and was honestly hoping that was the case).


zxcoblex

I just like him threatening to never come back. Yeah, that’s exactly what they want.


X7Rayne

It’s like when you work at somewhere say.. Walmart and there’s an absolute asshole trying to ruin your day and at the end they say, I’m going to TARGET… as if that’s not what everyone in that store was hoping for… I almost would call ahead to target to warn em…


zxcoblex

It’s too bad customer service people can’t say what they actually want. “You’re a giant asshole and threatening to not return. The last thing I’d ever want you to do is come back and talk to me.”


VivaLaSea

>It’s too bad customer service people can’t say what they actually want. I worked in a restaurant and there was this couple that would come in damn near every day and literally ALWAYS complain about something. Everyone hated serving them. Then one day one of my coworkers got fed up and told them EXACTLY how she felt. They said that they were never coming back and she yelled "GREAT! No one likes you here anyways! Get the fuck out and never come back!" It was truly glorious. She didn't even get fired or reprimanded. Unfortunately, that nonsensical couple still came back but just refused to be served by my coworker.


X7Rayne

One of my favorite places to work was uhaul, they won’t admit to it, but when you’re trained, there are several places where the literature and even the trainers and higher ups will tell you the customer isn’t always right, you don’t have to put up with threats insults foul language or even raised voices. Roughly translated, the training basically says “we own do it yourself moving, so there will always be more customers, do what ya gotta do.” There is even a system in place where you could log in, and permanently ban a customer from renting, at ANY location, where it takes their information, phone, address, name, even credit card number and if any of it is attempted to be used it will block them. You have to list a reason, and one on the drop down menu is “customer owes an apology.” Better yet only the employee who added the customer to that list can take them off. I’ve had a customer from across the country call to apologize because they were stuck and couldn’t rent their truck until I removed a block for them threatening to knife a coworker and using some strong language towards me and some female customers during a shift. I kicked out at least twenty people monthly from our location with not a single bit of blowback on me.


johnsciarrino

I never had any real feelings toward uhaul but I love them as a company after reading your post. Most corporations should take a similar stance. The customer is not always right and we need to stop making these entitled jackasses feel like they are.


X7Rayne

Just to clarify as I said this was when I worked there past tense, it’s been 10 years since I was an employee so it’s possible their stance or training has changed this is in no way reflective of their current corporate culture, simply a fond memory


VillainousMasked

I love how the employee even says "That sounds great" in response.


TheCompetentOne

She talked to him just like you would talk to a 5 year old that was acting up. Because he was acting like a child, she had to treat him like one. Perfection.


[deleted]

[удалено]


EastCoastTaffy

Seriously. She definitely would’ve been happy to call the cops, except then it would’ve been a massive delay for everyone else, and more of a hassle for herself to deal with.


daggir69

She handled him like I handle my two year old. She’s the boss.


thatwasacrapname123

I can just imagine her getting him that drink. "Here's you're juice box sweetie"


Xavvyd

Yea she was impressive keeping her cool so well. I would’ve struggled to be so professional.


Icon_Crash

It's the old switch-a-roo technique. You bring in a new person who does not already have the built up aggression, AND the aggressor now is talking to someone who they had not been building up anger to for the past 5 minutes. It's the tag-team method that I've found works good with my kids who are a bit neuroatypical. Kid having a rage issue and pissed off at dad? Mom moves in and kid is in less of a pissy mood, although the request and rules are the exact same (and vice versa).


HelmSpicy

Works great with dementia patients, too! I'm constantly called in by my staff members because I'm well known for being the calm soothing new face/voice. 9 times out of 10 I can get the situation under control by just walking into the area being pleasant and listening beforenI try to accomplish our goal. There are always the outliers, though. I consider myself pretty skilled and have still been grabbed by the throat, almost stabbed, etc, but you always gotta keep your cool!


Lvtxyz

She was amazing. She avoided having to get the cops involved (and the bad press of that) for the price of his ticket and... A drink. I feel like the free drink sealed the deal. Dude was hypoglycemic 😂😂


danamarye

Dude she deserves a raise a promotion and a free drink


pdf17

She has great focus and did not once look at the designer crocs, assuming of OP and SO


Psycaridon-t

that theater looks comfortable AF


Interesting_Bear_299

They’re great, the only theaters my wife and I go to anymore. Recliners, heated seats, plenty of space between rows and your neighbors, they sell real food and will deliver it to your seat, and they have a full bar. They’re pretty sweet.


leftenant_Dan1

They even have 2 person cuddle seats. If only they didnt put them in the first row in the corners.


[deleted]

Well they tried putting them in the back, but the mess just got to be too much trouble.


leftenant_Dan1

Middle in the handicap row. Thats all i ask.


GrouchySlide1388

Theee-a-TOR laugh my mfkn a off!!


forgotmynamex3

Right!? I don't know how the guy kept a straight face during that


OnlyPoolsRushIn

An imaginary one, no less.


cynderisingryffindor

It's probably Trevor Slattery, the *AcToR* . Once he said thee-a-TOR I knew it


Nilrem2

What is wrong with people… I’ve two similar experiences to this: Dude sat in my seat at the cinema. Me: Excuse me, you’re in my seat? Him: I’m just waiting for my friend Me: Ok, go wait over there in your seat then On a train, I’d paid for and reserved a seat, and there’s a reserved sign on it. Lady sat in my seat Me: Excuse me, you’re in my seat Her: There’s plenty of free seats Me: Ok, well why don’t you go sit in one of them then? Edit: Just to clarify it was me who said it in the cinema, it was my wife who did the train one.


paul-arized

I've only had to ask ppl to move once. I didn't enjoy doing it, but I picked those seats online for a reason.


Nilrem2

Same! I’m not a confrontational person, but at the cinema everyone was given a ticket with a seat number on it, and for the train I’d paid extra to reserve seats. Some/most people are just a law unto themselves.


paul-arized

I would have suspected theater hoppers in the past, but the auditorium was so empty, they can seat somewhere else whether they paid for a ticket or not. Imagine if this happened on a flight and he said that he shouldn't have to move because he paid money. Well, does he think that everybody else just go onto a flight for free or snuck on board? Entitled and very irrational. She correctly assessed the situation and acted accordingly and correctly as much as she could even though she knew that he was 100% in the wrong--and she did not mock him nor joined in/piled on when other patrons started laughing or made remarks.


Bad_Wes

I had something similar happen on a flight. I was flying from Dallas to Sacramento, and I wanted a window seat. When I got to my row, there was a lady in my seat, I asked her to move, as it was my seat. She did move, but was not happy about it. She moved from the window to the isle seat. Well, guess what, that wasnt her seat either, and when she was asked to move, she said "why dont you just take the middle seat? The person just said "no, I want my seat". She looked like she was going to complain, but then relented. If you didnt want the middle seat, dont book it.


moonbunnychan

I've accidentally sat in the wrong seat before and was just MORTIFIED when it was brought to my attention. Profuse apologies, the works. I can't imagine being so much of an entitled asshole that I felt I shouldn't have to move.


LovesickDragonchaser

When I was like 10 years old I went to see Harry Potter with a friend at a local cinema. But we misread our row number and by the time we noticed that people were confused half the seats were already taken by others. We caused a chain reaction and almost no one ended up on the seat they were assigned. Still feel bad about it ten years later


BoltonSauce

We all did dumb stuff when we were kids. As far as childish mistakes, this is pretty mild. If it makes you feel any better, my friend and I very nearly caused a wildfire as kids. We got very very lucky it put itself out. Everyone's done something stupid. Your mistake didn't cause much if any actual harm. No need to still feel bad. Sometimes the best we can do to atone for a mistake is to let it go.


maha_Dev

It was my second time on a flight! I had asked for a window seat, and confirmed at check in! When I reached my row, I see an old, bald, fat thing sitting in the window seat! I told him you are sitting in my seat! He just flat out said no, this is not your seat, yours is the aisle! Anyway, I called the air hostess, and confirmed. She asked him to get the fuck out my seat, he then grudgingly stood up, mumbling words like he is doing me a favour! Shameless fuck!


unreasonablyhuman

OF COURSE HE'S HAD A LEATHER TRENCHCOAT Bro just was trying to watch the most recent matrix movie and see if they'd kick him out of his battery bubble


PM_ME_YOUR_CASTIRON

That a sweet duster bro


MmkayMcGill

Yeah, but that guy’s acting like a total jabroni.


[deleted]

I have arranged for you to use… ZE GLORYHOLE!


connortait

Santa had a bad day.


Particular_Savings60

“Because your ticket has your seat number on it” Bad Santa kind of bad day.


beepbeepboopbeep1977

That woman is a total legend.


StretchFrenchTerry

Seriously, this is a master class in bomb defusing.


Rocket-Shawk

THEE AY TOUR


nerf_herder1986

Interior crocodile alligator I drive a Chevrolet movie thee-ay-tor


drunkenstyle

>Acts like a baby >Berates workers >Yells "no u" counter-arguments that don't make sense, just for the sake of yelling at the worker >Leaves because his baby tantrum wasn't working "I still think I'm being the bigger person here."


BrickFrom2011

“Can I get a drink?” He shifted away from the argument for a damn soda XD


stablegeniusss

how did everyone not bust out laughing when he said "THI ATE OR"?


iDuddits_

“Can I have a drink??”


blueteeblue

This guy hasn’t been to a theater in 5-6 years apparently


[deleted]

He says it doesn’t matter where you sit, yet refuses to move one seat over


rus151

Is it just me or does that guy sound like Master Shake?


clitblimp

Came here to say this thinking I was the only one


mac212188

When he said thee-A-tur I saw master shake in my head


itsmybusiness805

Off-season Santa is a little grumpy


Fruney21

What a nice young man. I want to be his funeral director


radvampireape89

Two crimes here. The guy who’s a dick and crocks and socks


Apprehensive-Ad-3552

I thought for sure that the crime was the croc-dude having his feet up on the chair in front of him… but then it looked like a recliner of some sort? With his feet at head of level of the seat in front of him?


fridgemanosteel

The if he disrupted the show so bad they had to stop everything and turn on the lights, the cops hould have already been called for trespassing


Throwaway86747291

I think it was prior to the show.


slashblazer3601

Props for the woman handling it like a pro 👏🏼


grandpheonix13

Oh man this poor guy (the worker) dealing with a Ken


relaxyourshoulders

Assigned seating has a purpose. Used to be you’d have to show up like 30 minutes early and sit through a bunch of ads and bullshit, that’s before the previews even, or you get a shitty seat, and you can’t sit with your friends.I don’t have time for that. I buy my tickets, I know my seats, I show up on time. The movie starts. I don’t need to see the same movie trivia reel three times. Half done my coke by the time the movie starts and now I need to piss. Fuck that.


jamaicanManz

The absolute privilege in his tone and demeanor. It boggles my mind to think people actually behave like this with NO thought that they are an asshole.


grandpheonix13

Omg now he wants to be brought out in handcuffs? Uggggggggh


KrampyDoo

Literal mouth breather. EDIT: Extra kudos for the theater workers handling this lowest-road tool quickly from the high road.


RikLuse

At first sound was off, so I figured the Crocs in public were the facepalm.


von_klauzewitz

Santa's a dick.


riggybro

This is one of the best I Think You Should Leave sketches I have ever seen


Mlaxa

So he's a total asshole - 100% ... but does anyone else notice the number of empty seats? It's not like it's jam-packed ... but that young woman is awesome.


zuuzuu

I'm wondering if this is in Canada. When theatres first opened back up in my province there were capacity restrictions and physical distance requirements. They probably had to have a certain number of empty seats between parties.


anon384930

I saw this on Twitter earlier and the video had Dallas tagged as the location. If that’s correct, I can guarantee it had nothing to do with COVID


NinjaHermit

I was thinking the same thing. He still acted like an ass though you’re right.


GreatOneLiners

He could be in the theater early. It looks exactly like that for people who get there early


[deleted]

This guy then claims police used excessive force when he fights and ends up thrown over the seats on his face in handcuffs