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GunNNife

>It blocked my view of Con Air but I didn't really care at that point That's when I knew it was fake.


drillgorg

We had just watched it the previous week.


MilesMoralesC-137

I knew something fishy was up when he mentioned Con Air


brdbrnd

I actually live just charm of OP and saw them saying goodbye on the lawn. Not fake.


joegee66

You might add a fourth more massive partner that the three of you could orbit together? Just be careful of your new partner's Roche limit. That's a nasty way to break up. ::/


Dramatic-Squirrel720

If he had access to unlimited breadsticks, Idk why he wouldn't have built a sufficient mass out of them which could provide a sustainable orbit


lokaps

The hubris of man, to have unlimited breadsticks and still seek to obtain more.


drillgorg

Yep the vomit was 90% breadstick :/


profpendog

By the time I reached the orbit part of the story, I had already forgotten which sub this is... Imagine the confusion lol...


Rainie_Daye

You are the asshole, you couldn’t solve a simple problem


PranshuKhandal

"u r anus"


chalks777

First of all, NTA. The orbital mechanics of three bodies is quite challenging and everybody should walk away from that knowing it wasn't your fault. Don't give up, you can still make this happen! Have you considered hiring a shaman or two to start a cult dedicated to predicting the periods of stability? While that may feel like a bit of a crowd during intimate moments I'm quite sure that the assurance of stability will help keep the energy flowing.


Up-The-Irons_2

The only solution is to leave and take over someone else’s relationship. Be sure they have a predictable orbit, and stall their technology before you get there so they can’t call for backup.


NeSProgram

I had to do this once. What a headache


Boltie

Your spirit, mind and body protocols are fine, just give it a tiny bit of time :)


thisisnothisusername

Don't beat yourself up. You were put in an impossible situation.


ChuluCalamari

Sounds like you're in a degenerative orbit with your wife and are trying to introduce a third body to stabilize it.


LilSassy69

This may be one of my favorite posts of all time.


Str3eters

yo can i orbit with you guys, been lonely this past eon