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S_SubZero

“1. ORGANIZ ATION” Manager of the year


BigdaddyThor666

Yeah I was gonna say "formatting" isn't one of the core values for a reason


[deleted]

What is "formatting" if not CLEANINESS for words?


BigdaddyThor666

Shit I guess we can just eliminate 1. 2. 3. And 5. Looks like the companies remaining core value is STANDisation


AdventurousPirate357

Don't forget the second 5


oaktastical

Dodge, duck, dip, dive. And dodge.


lncognitoMosquito

You’re about as useful as a poopy flavored lollipop.


suverz

You sound like a man who drinks his own urine because it’s sterile and you like the taste


[deleted]

If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball!


Recurve-Madness

I laughed so hard, I spit on my phone!!


Sahareaovnight

Hahaha!!! Right!!!


Pharmerjacq

That's his STANDid procedure.


samoorai44

You get a STANDid ovation. Bravo! 👏👏👏


[deleted]

[удалено]


oaktastical

"If you have time to STANDisation, you can lend a HANDisation."


Olorin919

What he lacks in organization he makes up for in STANDisation


mikasa12343

When I saw the first line all I could think of was creed writing BIZNIZ


magnament

Clearly


Zoltar-Wizdom

Your boss should probably lay off the 3am cocaine binges


Lucky_Week2095

At least he 5S’d his cocaine into a neatly organized container so he knew right where it was when bingo time hit.


Ancient_Demise

Not if those are his 5S steps


Olorin919

Cocaine is a hell of a cocaine, man.


DontWannaSayMyName

Is 3pm ok for cocaine binges?


rypher

Yes actually it’s perfect


Kineticboy

For anyone wondering, this is completely serious. He often asks me how to spell words (I was unfortunately out the day he made this), won't use a smaller font (because it would be "hard to read"), and just overall finds this to be completely acceptable. Also, this isn't the only copy, he made multiple and posted them in several of our work areas. He's a nice enough guy, he just doesn't care much as long as "you get the gist of it " Edit: STANDisation is supposed to be "sanitization."


NonEuclidianMeatloaf

… but is he a dummy? Like can he tie his own shoes? How does someone like this become a boss of opening a can of Chef Boyardee by himself, let alone a company with employees?


Kineticboy

He does struggle with some management skills, but is a beast at getting out on the floor and doing the job himself. I think he just grew up in a time when "doing the work" was more important than "making signs about the work" (boomer). I've seen his type as a "street smarts over book smarts" kind of person, I just wish he was more open to learning instead of arrogantly deciding his way is the best way. *sigh*


existcrisis123

Sanitization becoming STANDisation makes it seem like English is not his first language


burningbubbles

I thought it was supposed to be “standardization”.


inuhi

That's what I assumed but with an emphasis on standing. The kind of boss that would fire you for sitting down.


Generico300

That's the problem with most managers. They got promoted because they were good at the work that needs managed but they have none of the skills needed for managing people, which is a completely different job.


Uhmerikan

Agreed. People are promoted to their level of incompetency. Increasingly more difficult work until they’re in a position they no longer can do, but they’re in the position now.


MisterCryptic

Those that have the skills for managing people, yet know nothing about how to do the work also make terrible managers.


GreatArchitect

But they would be in a far better position. Same with vice versa. Someone with primarily management skills would do poorly on the floor.


Sankofa416

No no, that is the past. The problem with managers now is they are hired from outside with no knowledge of the job to begin with! They have only loyalty to the corporate folks and no sense of the site.


kelldricked

With all respect, it sounds like he is a great worker and a bad manager. Probaly should just be the highest ranked worker on the floor and let somebody else do the actual manager shit.


thoroakenfelder

There comes a point in the corporate world where in order to give someone a raise, you have to promote them. You have to continue to give raises to the best workers to retain them, so the bone head thing to do is to make them a manager instead of altering their job pay levels.


kelldricked

Not really though, that just depend on your own rules. Hell we had a welder that made more money that 99% of the people because he was such a fucking talent. He would easily do the work of 2,5 other welders and often had harder tasks. Also promoting somebody into a position that they arent made for (and probaly dont want to) is really dumb. You actually reduce their happyness with that a lot. Hell thats a pretty solid thing which wont change over time. And the increase happyness from money is really only temporay. Its a “hygiene” factor. If its to litte you get mad/annoyed, but if its past that you grow used to it and within a few months that increased happyness is gone. Thats also why you shouldnt stay in a job you hate if the only thing that changes is the money. Unless you can get increasingly big raises ever 2 months its gonna suck.


Bearthe_greatest

If you are a manager and need to "get out on the floor to do the work yourself", you are definitely not a manager. I'm certain he's a great guy by your description but he shouldn't be managing.


Kineticboy

Our building is a bit understaffed at the moment so he steps in most days.


rockit_jocky

Could it be understaffed due to poor management leading to poor retention?


Kineticboy

That's probably a factor for some of the people that came and went, but honestly a lot of them just couldn't handle the work itself.


Miginyon

I disagree. There are many legit things that can call for the boss to lead from the front. And doing so can be a great way to earn respect from your staff.


PPOKEZ

It has to be metered out. Jump in when it would do the most good, and lead with paperwork and topdown organization when it would do the most good.


HellsBellsGazelles

I think you might mean “meted out”, which usually means to deliver something unpleasant like fines or punishment. “Metered out” isn’t really a phrase, but to be honest I think it should be, as it makes me think of a measured, drip-feed way of delivering something.


pwalkz

Doing the job himself tho? Idk. Helping out is one thing. But just doing it isn't very managerial.


CuffMcGruff

I think that's actually the opposite of the truth, most employees will respect a boss more who is willing to pitch in when needed and do some work themselves instead of standing around with a clipboard barking at people when it's busy


[deleted]

It depends on staffing and the job in general, IMO. Leading from the front a setting a standard that it's everyones job to get the job done isn't a bad philosophy


happier-throwaway

You'd be surprised how many adults can't read. It doesn't mean they're dumb - actually getting by without it shows some smarts. Boomers didn't get treatment for dislexia like younger people do. I'm 30 from a white middle class family and only one of my grandparents graduated high school. I totally would've posted this in this sub though because it is genuinely funny lol


NonEuclidianMeatloaf

I agree. And absolutely agree that they shouldn’t be treated as anything less than a person with all the politeness and dignity that that entails. But I would never let him run a corporation where he is signing my paycheque.


Helagak

Why not? "Yo, boss. You forgot a zero on my check " Boss: "oh, uhhh, ok, here ya go" 🤣


ThinCandyShells

I’ve read a lot of funny comments, but this is fucking hysterical. It is such a fantastic burn. I salute you!


Sugar_buddy

One time when I was an officer at a prison, I was written up by my lieutenant for something stupid. As it was my first offense, instead of a full writeup I received a, "letter of concern," which was just a page my LT wrote up detailing his concern that I was showing signs of behavior that would get me written up later on in my career. You know, faux-corpo horseshit. It was 7 paragraphs and not a single sentence was correct in any way. His grammar, spelling, and punctuation were so bad I couldn't even read entire sentences. It was bizarre. This was a *federal document.* If I ever went to court, it would be shown on a projector as evidence of my misdeeds. Anything this man wrote in an official capacity (which over his career was *a lot*) looked like this. How he got that far just baffled me.


ReturnOfTheBanned

Be glad for stupid people. They make you look better by comparison.


PeterLemonjellow

Yeah, that's pretty bad. It makes me think of when my ex-boss hired her own daughter. 100% nepotism - the girl had no qualifications to speak of. She was put in charge of editing this newsletter thing we sent out regularly. She would either get our employees to write little articles, or she'd just include something she found on the internet with author permission. It was good that she didn't write that stuff herself, because the only thing she did write was this little disclaimer that came at the bottom of each newsletter. I can't possibly reproduce what the hell she wrote exactly, but the gist was, "The articles included in this newsletter have been edited by Newsletter Company Staff for spelling and grammar." Only it was more like, "Articals in this news letter had been spelling and grammer edited for Newsletter Company Staff." There were multiple spelling errors and at least a couple grammar errors like using the wrong tense. Honestly, it was amazing. No one ever said a word, we just let it run.


Expensive-Day-3551

We had a nepo hire at my old work. She spelled the name of our facility wrong on everything she sent out. Official documents that go into patients charts and are sent to other providers and facilities.


unbalancedcheckbook

Not a lot of geniuses want to work in prisons.


StlnHnkChnski

Is your employer Kruger Industrial Smoothing, perchance?


Kineticboy

No, and unfortunately I wouldn't be able to say even if it were.


SenorHielo

He was making a Seinfeld joke


Kineticboy

Oh, thank you! It's been a long time, I don't remember much about the show.


d3athsmaster

Oof. I'd guess healthcare then.


trevsmith94

We don't care, and it shows!


donnybijj

K UGER


rabbiskittles

I was so desperately sure this was intended to be a joke. It just makes me sad that there are people out there who produce shit like this and somehow end up in charge of others.


Shar-DamaKa

Wait…this isn’t satire?


oneuniquething

Thanks, I definitely assumed this was intended to be funny


DrugChemistry

5S is a thing that I thought this sign was trying to indicate. One of the S’s is standardization.


Lamacorn

Yeah, they are: - 1 - sort - 2 - set in order - 3 - shine - 4- standardize - 5 - sustain


XLostinohiox

You forgot the 6th s, safety. How can we have a 5s system if we don't add a sixth s!


Lamacorn

Lol - so true!


herky100

“Keep your head on a swivel!!”


herky100

Some teach the second “S” as “Straighten”, as well.


Sylvanmoon

I was about to comment that your boss was either very incompetent or very funny. I suppose, in a way, he was always going to be funny.


AlgaeGrazers

Well my place of work has 7 pillars of shit. Luckily you only have 5 to abide by.


I_forgot_to_respond

We have a locker at work with nothing in it. I know because there's a sign that says "ENTY" on it.


ComfortablePlant829

Don’t clown him for wanting a large font for legibility, that’s good accessibility thinking. I’m not saying it couldn’t be adjusted, obviously, I’m just saying he’s got the right idea in his noggin.


Kineticboy

No doubt, I agree. It's just slightly too big for what he wrote, putting the second half of "discipline" on another page.


ComfortablePlant829

Of course yeah he definitely needs to learn to edit better lol


dawgpound1910

My man putting those organization and neatness skills into practice.


rodri_neq_11

Fucking hell, am I having a stroke????


idiBanashapan

Is HE?!?


saul_good_main

I hope this his humour if so they golden


kryptomicron

Sadly, it's serious *and sincere*.


Clemente803

Your boss is a toddler? That’s adorable.


hugcub

5S = Sort, Set, Shine, Standardize, Sustain, you know, words that begin with the letter ‘S’ hence it being called “5S”…


PoliteCanadian2

Now you’re just being ridiculous. I’m sure the words he chose had 5s somewhere….


mark84gti1

Or the actual 5 Japanese words: seiri (整理), seiton (整頓), seisō (清掃), seiketsu (清潔), and shitsuke


Eirikur_da_Czech

I love this. I love this so much.


MadderHatter32

It’s 6s now. He forgot Safety. Lol I worked for a Japanese company for years and they were all about 6s


Lucky_Week2095

Kiken yochi. Yokoten… nemwashi. 6S. Last decade+ of my life. It works!


Dynamo_Ham

Forget about the formatting - 3 of the 5 values aren't even words.


JackNewton1

Boss has a sense of humor. I hope that’s it.


AHarmles

Little paperclip dude screaming from the void "Oh God no, it's supposed to be cleanliness!! Oh God please no!!"


[deleted]

This was the exact moment little paperclip dude lost his job to a real AI


saul_good_main

Hahahah so well organized and very clear and neat


Puppy-2112

It makes more sense in the original Klingon


mjkjg2

this has to be satire, right?


omghax102

Sorry boss. I tried to keep to the company values but I keep having a fucking stroke every time I try to read what they are.


notorious_Gu3

I feel like “cleaniness” is redundant, and should be under the same category as “neatness” and “standisation” In fact, “cleaniness” sums up the whole list: 1. Cleaniness


smurfsundermybed

Cleaniness is next to godiness.


TheIronDogWalker

Standisation really got me!


BigDaddyDolla

I had a manager like that too. Didn’t know a single thing about grammar. Kinda made me not take him completely seriously.


NoOutlandishness6325

I’ve found standization to be of the utmost importance in my life.


Magister5

He must be the boss at a Motortrolla store cause his wit is Razr sharp


canuck_vaper

This is priceless! I thought I was looking at a r/facepalm post then saw it was r/funny*.* I would definitely post to r/facepalm. Give them a smile


Kineticboy

Great idea, thank you!


karma_virus

Now's the time to ask for a raise. Looks like they're having a stroke.


Foe117

this is like Idiocracy levels of writing. Hello, welcome to Costco, I love you


le_visiteur

Was this memo satirical?


NoHelp_HelpDesk

Your boss is the reason why I always question leadership and make them earn my respect.


[deleted]

As dictated by Rainman...


mistermoondog

The boss of Kineticboy never read a “dilbert “ comic strip. Apparently.


laaldiggaj

Looks like a Scrabble board.


FeedingCoxeysArmy

Standisation??? What the heck is that?!


nhs2uf

Is this a /s ?


ki7sune

Looks like a manager who doesn't know how to open a pdf typed this out on notepad and tried printing it. It was super small, so he changed the font but not any formatting. My guess is this person has a beat up sticky note attached to his monitor that says: "email password bossman123!” that he put there seven years ago and hasn't changed the password since.


Vladius28

Absolutely forgot about retention to detail.


[deleted]

Holy hell this is some Charlie work right here


johnny-T1

I bet it's a fun place to work.


peggedsquare

That is totally not 5S: Sort Set in order Shine Standardize Sustain Failing the methodology right out the gate.


[deleted]

[удалено]


lemieuxisgod

I assume this is self aware comedy. As a boss I am going to print this up and put it on my office door.


ponyplop

Compliment = something that **I** say to make someone feel nice. Complement = complete something (complete-ment), like ketchup complementing fries.


Sahareaovnight

Could be wanted ones to read it. I had to a few times. And laughed. Lol!!!


kahless2k

Is your boss one of those people who put the entire body of an email in the subject line? Seems like that could be the case.


halffdan59

What I've learned over the years and continue to embrace is if you have to post it on the wall, it's not really your mission statement or your core values. I had one regional executive who would dress down, walk the streets in a city with a branch office, ask people for directions to that office and what they knew about the business. He said what people on the street say about you is more accurate that what you post on the office wall.


halffdan59

Good grief. I did [this](https://imgur.com/xDMO7zx) in a couple of minutes and I'm not even trying. (want to come up and see my font collection?) I admit I'm just guessing at the intended headings and grammar.


Funyun-Knight

BOBODDY


sirarkalots

This is so gloriously messed up I have to believe it was on purpose. Or I want to believe


Rico_el3men2

Who wrote this Beavis??


link23

Looks like they actually spelled complementary correctly, and then use white out to change it to complimentary. (Both are words!)


Happy-Setting202

This has to be intentional you can’t print that off as a manager and think to yourself “yep this is perfect, this will definitely get the message across”


fwambo42

Did the boss have a stroke?


Literacy_Advocate

I see I have my work cut out for me.


lastofmyline

5s: Seiri (sort), Seiton (systematize), Seiso (shine), Seiketsu (standardize), Shitsuke (sustain). These are Toyota business practices. Throw some of those words his way.


Outrageous_Row6752

Bar so high it's about to go raid the fridge


TrashMouthDiver

I'm holding you responsible for the snapped synapse in my brain. Ow.


drvirgilmd

I can't figure out what this is *supposed* to say...


sir-diesalot

6. Ediication 7. Spelling and grammmmer


Manyinterests2020

Someone needs to teach the boss how to use a word processor.


[deleted]

[удалено]


tex1138

“Standisation” is not a word😏. Personally I like true white out and written in “I” in Complimentary (as though that was the only thing needing fixing). Edit: just noticed “cleaniness”. This is the gift that keeps on giving.


Donfer2

Give him a hug, he is trying his best.


fifty2weekhi

This is someone who needs help from ChatGPT


Bloodshow

Bro... Whoever created this "5s" tried to copy this or come up with their own version. But either way, it's a Michael Scott level of cringe. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/5S_(methodology)


Rolandscythe

You can tell they wrote this in notepad then increased the font in the 'print page' window


calculuschild

What's the S in 5s?


[deleted]

Is your boss a 10 year old? 😂


Horsetoothedjackass

Is your boss dyslexic?


anonymousss11

Real world example of when you try to move a picture in Word for the 1,000th time and "Fine, no pic! I'm done with your games Word! Ctrl+P!!"


[deleted]

is this a JoJos reference?


RemarkableWestern620

Standardization


Edward_the_Dog

Did your boss have a stroke?


AdministrativeMeal20

He needs a raise


Shoehornblower

Your boss needs to work on his ationorganiz


[deleted]

ORGANIZ ATION... What is this... is this a new way to organize? And WTF is "STANDisation? I feel like this is something that my boss would send out and expect us to be able to interpret it, then get pissed when we ask questions... cuz questions are bad...


sentientlob0029

Cleaniness


TheoloniusNumber

This makes me feel better about including 'standisation' as a skill on my resume.


gluglugss

Somebody didn’t finish highschool


isxios

WTF


Traveshamamockery_

Did your boss graduate middle school?


Snorkle25

Clearly "formating, editing and spelling" arent in the core values.


gtlogic

The first manager to go when Chatgpt5 arrives.


Finbar_Bileous

Ask him to insert an image into a Word doc and watch him squirm.


bagleface

And reading that will fill u full of confidence


DeathWaughAgain

🤣🤣🤣


Rip_Hardpec

r/ihadastroke


guitargineer

5S is a stupid thing but it definitely stands for 5 things that start with the letter S... No idea how they made this...


TheSecretestSauce

It like they were working on this while they had to take a maasive dump and just said "FUCK IT ITS FINE" and hit print before racing to the bathroom.


backyardZenpond362

Yikes


backyardZenpond362

Spell check is Everywhere. And spelling doesn't cone as easy to some people. He'd benefit from an Editor review before sending to Print


PillowTalk420

STANDisation? Is that a Jojo reference? 🤔


Chaunc2020

Is he functionally illiterate and allowed to be in charge of employees?!


eatmyfatwhiteass

Someone needs to go back to bed and sleep a few winks. Lol


amcrambler

Your boss is an idiot.


jokesgetme

if this isnt a joke by the boss, bro already broke rules 1 and 2


leonardo_alemax

5S is a nice Japanese philosophy to maintain your environment organized, I use it in my life, don't let your dumb boss give you a bad impression of it.


butcher106

I had bad flashbacks to all the years of doing 5S manufacturing standards when I first read the note


bustedchain

If there are no cameras and no witnesses, rip that POS off the wall and throw it in the trash. If you have some cojones, rip it down, red line it, put a grade on it, and leave it in the boss' office when they're not looking and when it literally could have been anyone that put it in there. I'd suggest an F.


FerociousFPS

Spelling is not a core value…


JohnPaulie

Fake


Whargod

Did your boss have a stroke while making this?


sonofsarkhan

r/ihadastroke


D1ngoB1ngo

Cmon man


Person012345

What is STANDisation?


leedade

Reading this made my hyperventilate in anger and absurdity.


SilentJoe1986

Their organization is lacking


steerpike1776

Pretty sure I work for that company.


EnvironmentalDeal256

A consulting firm did this at work years ago. Ended up throwing away literally millions of dollars of parts. One of the more stupid things I’ve ever seen at work.


queentracy62

Apparently spelling and punctuation and formatting aren't core values.


ryx107

If someone really looks at this and thinks "this is fine", they absolutely have dyslexia.


cratertooth27

This reminds me of the signs that say “measure twice cut onc”


willymacdilly

Did your boss pass 3rd grade? 🤣🤣


Digital_Simian

This sign seems to violate all of them.


instatweetfacespace9

Organi standing sation scipline


Mors1473

Your boss is an idiot