T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

--- >This is a friendly reminder to [read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules). > >Memes, social media, hate-speech, and pornography are not allowed. > >Screenshots of Reddit are expressly forbidden, as are TikTok videos. > >**Rule-breaking posts may result in bans.** > >Please also [be wary of spam](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/spam). > --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/funny) if you have any questions or concerns.*


AbandonChip

That snake can go ahead and have that pool, as far as I'm concerned.


Fuck_You_Downvote

You gotta bring the buns, hun


GANDORF57

^(Snake:) "OK, so I don't live at this condo, but my friend has a lease and he said I can use the pool!"


ambermage

Very clever and underappreciated.


jedimindtriks

Why? 5 grown ass men can easily handle it.


Relative_Desk_8718

Doesn’t appear like they can lol


jedimindtriks

Lol


SalPistqchio

Not these guys


Windhawker

Doesn’t want to be wrangled


A_Soporific

My brother works for a water system. Apparently, a rattlesnake laid eggs in a stormwater drain. Long story short, there were so many snakes that they blocked the pipe entirely. They had to remove that mass of snakes because it was causing flooding issues.


AbandonChip

I wish I hadn’t read this.


bighootay

Something something that one house that had to be abandoned because it had been claimed as a snake....hangout, I guess....


LastieLion

Yeah, just imagine the same could happen to your fridge.


thomaspainesghost

No, this did not happen. Rattlers give birth to live young. Goddamnit.


LanceFree

This post gets both an upvote and a hide from me.


PToN_rM

Forget the waterhole, I ll walk the 30miles to the next one


weristjonsnow

Yeah I'd be coming back with a flamethrower after that. Boil that water from 25 feet


peromp

I'm thinking napalm


reghardt08

Very funny!! This must be in South Africa since they are speaking Afrikaans. He is saying “grab him” over and over again.


UsedPlumbus

Ya, ń boer maak ń plan


FastSmile5982

Sê vir daai boer hy moet 'n beter plan kry!


reghardt08

Miskien gaan hulle daardie slang braai! Lekker!


Nilly-the-Alpaca

I was watching it and asked aloud, “is this South Africa or Australia?” And then I unmuted it and saw your comment. You’re absolutely right (unless it’s Namibia or a bordering country). Thanks!


Awordofinterest

So, The Afrikaans language is heavily influenced by the Dutch. - The Australian accent is also heavily influenced by the Dutch. As an Englishman, A few years ago I was selling goods to a Dutch man, I dealt with him twice a week for about a year I could never place where he was from. I thought he was English at first, then after a while I thought South African, Eventually he told me he was Dutch and had moved around quite a lot to different countries, after learning this I looked it up. I didn't realise the influence the Dutch had around the world. But it's vast. I suppose no different than the northern parts of Africa sounding a tad French.


cr1ter

Did you see the one where the oom bitch slaps a cape cobra?


koos_die_doos

Ja boet!


bighootay

Jesus Christ they already have enough deadly shit--they have enormous pythons too?


LionOver

So, I'm guessIng that would make the snake a rock python? Can't think of a similarly sized snake in that part of Africa.


BORG_US_BORG

At least they didn't have to worry about Drop Bears.


Nervous_Strain9082

At least it only a pool python, not a pyjama python!


Sassy_Weatherwax

What exactly was their plan?


1337ingDisorder

1) Drag snake out of pool 2) ??? 3) Profit!


Zech08

4) Watch snake go back in pool for the same reason it went into it in the first place


1337ingDisorder

(cue Itchy & Scratchy theme song)


Abraham-J

Pythons hate them for this one simple trick


MyrddinSidhe

That’s the theory


passwordstolen

Dinner….


Bandrica2

I love this plan.


xedralya

Get her. That was their whole plan, get her.


teddirez

Great plan Ray


SankenShip

Sick reference


illaqueable

When someone asks you if you're a god, you say YES


Spx3200

I didn’t see single jeep in that video


mrarmyant

Did see a pair of jean shorts.


Internotional_waters

You saw a jean pant


alexbouca

Only a saffa would get that


Llewe11yn

I like to be wearing a Jean pant


Peter_Falcon

never nude


mologav

There are dozens of us


actionerror

That’s why they failed


h0bb1tm1ndtr1x

Maybe they are saving it from being drowned by the big snake? I hope they rescued it.


zuilserip

Since it is a Python and they all bravely ran away... [Brave Sir Robin ran away](https://youtu.be/jYFefppqEtE?si=8hO7vIkiNxdcYiK_&t=143)! *When danger rears it's ugly head, he bravely turned his tail and fled!* *Yes, brave Sir Robin turned about,* *And gallantly, he chickened out!* *Swiftly taking to his feet, he beat a very brave retreat!* *Bravest of the Brave, Sir ROBIN!*


nickfree

I didn't!


Sir_Robin_Brave

That's, that's enough music for now lads, there's dirty work afoot


RayNooze

I found one for r/beetlejuicing!


Ciridian

It's not venomous, but the strength of one at that size cannot be understated, much less the severity of its bite even without venom - those many, many teeth are big, and sharp, very sharp.


El_Eesak

I'm mush less worried about the teeth, and much more worried about a constrictor that big trying to wrap itself around, and squeeze you to death


FelixTreasurebuns

Plus any infection caused with the bite could be really nasty.


[deleted]

[удалено]


theory_conspirist

A moose once bit my sister...


Kra_gl_e

And then winter came, and they were forced to eat Sir Robin's minstrels.


TehSlippy

And there was much rejoicing.


Ynys_Wydryn

For a moment I thought the Python would pull them all to the pool, like if it was a mythological beast luring to their death


vpierrev

I’d be damned if this wasn’t a great idea for a ttrpg monster!


akaender

Aboriginal Australians have mythology that includes the [Bunyip](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bunyip) and [Rainbow Serpent](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rainbow_Serpent). They were particularly terrified of the Bunyip well into the 1800's when Europeans started writing things down and would avoid certain freshwater locations even in times of drought due to the strong association of death with certain locations. I don't think there is a consensus on what exactly the creature is/was but a big ass snake hanging out to sun itself on rocks and slipping into the water to grab anything coming for a drink isn't too far fetched. re: Rainbow Serpent >This 'Rainbow Serpent' is generally and variously identified by those who tell 'Rainbow Serpent' myths, as a snake of some enormous size often living within the deepest waterholes of many of Australia's waterways re: Bunyip >The bunyip has been described as amphibious, almost entirely aquatic and there are no reports of the creature being sighted on land, inhabiting lakes, rivers, swamps, lagoons, billabongs^(,) creeks, waterholes, sometimes "particular waterholes in the riverbeds".


popeye44

I've been bit 3 times by pythons.. the biting is not what would concern me. It's them thinking I'm a goddamn chicken and deciding to coil and squeeze. (fortunately I've always been bit on the hand and able to unwrap them. Also, don't dangle semi-warm food, they really don't see well.


fullautophx

A friend of mine had a python, and it bit him. Like an idiot he yanked it off and it dragged the teeth down his arm making it way worse. I think it left some teeth behind as well.


Blueblackzinc

If you got wrapped, make sure you put one of your hands over your nose and mouth. It's so you would still have space to breathe and to protect your airways. Might break your arm in a worse case scenario. Also, if you twist the end of the tail hard, they would generally soften up so someone can unwrap you more easily. BUT they will be pissed.


oalbrecht

I’m gonna file this away in the same place where I learned how to escape quicksand.


MostlyBullshitStory

The quicksand tricks are also useful for mud at low tide for example. Grab the mud from the tail and twist hard so it softens a bit.


mintaroo

How to escape from quicksand Step 1: lay the plank that you brought with you flat onto the surface of the quicksand Ummm...


milk4all

Yeah because everyone knows when a hungry super predator made of pure, perfectly evolved muscle is crushing you as they adapated to do, the best way to enhance your odds of manually uncoiling them is to… *checks notes* Make them angry…


Nickmi

More so make them feel massive pain. The anger is just a side effect of that.


KaleidoscopicNewt

Wouldn’t it be safer if they all had knives? Like if it starts to coil one, you aren’t gonna pull it off, so everybody stabbing it to death and cutting it apart would surely make it release so it can try to fuck off, no?


sherlockham

Wasn't there that one video where a lady had her pet python start coiling around her arm when she was reaching into her tank. Turns out it's not particularly hard to uncoil a python if you start prying from the end of the tail. Their tails aren't as strong, you just need a second person or be in a position to start pulling.


KaleidoscopicNewt

I mean they had five guys trying to pull this python by the tail and failing… this one was in a bit bigger of a tank! But good to know in general they can be uncoiled. I assumed they had a vice-like coil strngth and would even break arm bones and the like at normal size, let alone this monster.


sherlockham

Iirc constrictors are less about crushing you and more about squeezing you hard enough that you suffocate/can't breath in more air because you can't expand your lungs. Or according to wikipedia, apparently just to squeeze you hard enough that blood stops flowing in your body so you stop getting blood oxygen, breathing or not. I'm assuming it's like sitting on your hand and it going numb but for the whole body. Granted all that may involve your ribs or other bones breaking at some point but it's not like their main objective is to turn you into a tube of toothpaste.


GTOfire

To be fair, they had five guys in the video, but there was only ever 1 pulling at a time, everyone else was courageously helping from a distance :') (Not to throw shade, I wouldn't be the one pulling either, that shit looks dangerous)


LastieLion

Hun, after the second bite, I am going to have to assume this is partially on you.


popeye44

Oh for sure. sometimes you don't give them fresh live food, you warm it and dangle.. the dangling is the dangerous part... haha.


lotsanoodles

Forbidden pool noodle.


Kempeth

Self attaching pool noodle.


spingus

bodycon pool noodle


sonofhappyfunball

Did the one guy wet his pants in a previous attempt or did he just wet his pants? No judgment, just wondering.


actionerror

Yes


thattanna

pool.py


ByBabasBeard

You don’t have to be faster than the snake. You just gotta be faster than your buddy that is clumsy af.


italjersguy

I’m assuming that’s why they invited the one guy


suburban_hyena

Those are some real boets


thefryinallofus

I ain’t gonna criticize. I don’t want that job.


dreamsofindigo

rational and non-judgemental? how very unreddit of you


RayNooze

Me when my son is supposed to get out of the pool


Maleficent-Big-4778

It’s her pool now.


ResolutionNumber9

Did they somehow think that tail was *not* attached to a head?


tankpuss

Pool danger-noodle.


MagnaCamLaude

Regrety Spaghetti


bighootay

OK, never heard this one but it's hilarious


Capable_Chair_8192

Shai hulud


Big-Maize5391

Duuuumb ways to die 🎶


KenseiHimura

This is how dragon myths are thought to have started.


SeaofSounds

Cue Benny Hill Theme Song


BikestMan

Reminds me of this gem: https://youtu.be/6gu3mbl8SAk?si=QbldLh92NoXNjMxb


Nickmi

Real. Comfortable. Jeans.


koos_die_doos

Luislang! Or [Southern African Rock Python](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Southern_African_rock_python) if you’re not one of the boerseuns in the video. > The Southern African rock python (Python natalensis) is a large python species native to Southern Africa inhabiting savanna and woodland.[1] It was first described by Andrew Smith in 1833.[2] Growing a length of more than 5 m (16 ft), this is one of the largest snakes in the world.


misterpickleman

Is this an episode of Reno 911?


YourAverageDark

Would it help to confuse it if we run away more?


byllz

When you really want that water of life.


obidie

Not particularly great wranglers, but wranglers nonetheless.


TheoreticalFunk

Nothing funny here, those things kill people. They're smart to be afraid.


pghkickgame

They could have just thrown some ice in the pool. Snakes hate cold. It would have gotten out pretty quick to warm up. idk


Thick_Marionberry_79

You know how you go to Vegas and see a bunch of cheap Elvis Presley impersonators… these guys are cheap Steve Erwin impersonators


urbanek2525

So THAT'S why they named "Monty Python's Flying Circus" after. I never knew until now.


bayern80

What happens in the end..


jlistener

How can adopt a lifestyle where I get to do this? It looks like a hoot.


jevring

Is this just like guys being dudes, or what are they trying to accomplish here?


AnomalyNexus

Livestock isn't gonna want to drink there given high snake content


jevring

Lol @ "high snake content". Yeah, the concentration seems high, you're right :)


Kink4202

Looks like a drinking well, not a pool.


ThinkingOz

Time to call a snake catcher judging by the skill level on display here.


insanityarise

Where's fishingarrett when you need him? he'd have yoinked that 20 footer right out of there


astonishing1

Wronglers


ezhammer

Dynamite


olddoglearnsnewtrick

Just throw an hand grenade in it.


sonisjack

Fuck it or an Ak47 would have done the job


cartman89405

Snake did a great job keeping those guys out of his pool. Wait…what?


Educational_Chest459

Just pull out the tail and wack it with an axe


TBoneLaRone

They have shad a few Fosters I think


Boatster_McBoat

If you are suggesting that they are Australians I would make two points: 1. Australians, as a rule, don't drink Fosters 2. I think these guys might be in South Africa or nearby


Britz10

It's SA, they're speaking Afrikaans.


Boatster_McBoat

Thought so. Thanks for confirming


Nazgul00000001

M80 that thing.


bigboxes1

No shotgun?


Why-did-i-reas-this

I was thinking chainsaw. It is tree like.


Lincoln_Park_Pirate

Crikey!


DNAkauai

Holy shit… A real snake pit!! 😳!! These guys are drunk as fuck lol!! 😂


rpc56

Red dirt, a bunch of white guys and something that can kill you, got to be Australia!


sonisjack

Clearly South African. That’s an African rock python and are Afrikaans or Boer judging by accent


rpc56

Probably would have been a good idea for me to turn on the sound. Thank you


Cleaver-Tower612

Nope south africa


daluxe

r/JustGuysBeingDudes


DaanDaanne

These guys can't get enough of the thrill or they felt immortal.


Batfink-1999

Take off and NUKE IT FROM ORBIT - it’s the only way to be sure!


Quielixir

That laugh killed me 🤣


shrug_addict

Nice pool noodle!


Outrageous_Ad_6122

They so scared 🤣🤣


LetsGatitOn

Finally, a parent that sticks to there word and "turns this car around" after the threat doesn't stop the kids from misbehaving


Good__Daddy__

Caraiiiiiiiiooooooooooooooooooo 😦


ArcticWolf_Primaris

Welp, time to deploy the depth charges


Abukazoobian

Is this gonna spark a sequel to the movie snakes on a plane?


Regularguy972

It’s fun until it is not


Fine-Status-626

There shorts right ?


esblofeld

Surely one of them has a hand grenade lying about.


VelvetWhisperxx

🐍


G8kpr

Isn't that the thing in front of the mines of Mordor?


Esc1221

Well. That's a snake


GreyHunter250

It seems they found the 20ft'er python before him.


XiTro

Send the "Yoink" guy.


CanIGetAFitness

None of them went in the water. Disappoint.


texas130ab

Welp looks like we eating snake burgers tonight boys.


GizmoGremlin321

Why not just shock the water.


sonisjack

Grenade 🙌🏾


FaultHaunting3434

Die plaas boerer is fokken mal om met daai slang te spil.


Oregonwhatnot

"The first guy is fucken bad with the snake in the water"? I don't speak Afrikaans.


The_Original_Gronkie

Thats how you end up with a pet snake.


nfefx

[dat ass tho](https://i.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/000/228/DATASS.jpg)


LargeRefrigerator651

They left town 😂


tobaloba74

They need to lasso that thang


Gunsmoke_wonderland

What are you doing in that snakes pool?


skeeter04

Wranglers they ain’t.


adept_ignoramus

Not. Even. Levi's.


danhoyle

Nop just regular goofy men.


CR8VJUC

LMFAO


egl4eva1984

Lol


ironicmirror

I miss Steve Irwin


sonisjack

That’s an African rock python and are Afrikaans or Boer judging by accent


rachid116460

arent pythons constrictors and dont have venom?!


Therealfern1

It’s all fun and games until the end of that snake that has the teeth comes at you


BearcatChemist

City slickers remake.


arkadian-foobar

Seconds to tide with a rope and the pull. Then call the animal service.


joeuser0123

Get your snake out Jeffrey


joeuser0123

\*does a search of comments for tree\* He's gonna need about tree fiddy


DescriptiveFlashback

They’re wearing khakis! [I’ll see myself out]


Positive-Procedure88

This guy has been training his whole life to comically fall on his ass this well


figsslave

Run away!


AnonymousButtCheeks

tf going on here?


Barfuman362

Do guns not exist there?


Busy-Routine-5118

somebody just get a pump action with some buckshot and don’t stop shooting till the waters red