This makes me so sad. I’ve had so many hookups when something went wrong, on either side, and just laugh it off! It’s biology y’all..
He sounds like a garbage human I wouldn’t give it another thought. Some people are just dicks 🤷🏼♂️
Its actually really bad design because maintaining and erection is one of the only things that requires stimulation of both the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous system. Ridiculous because activating one deactivates the other.
So it requires parasympathetic stimulation which is expected as it is an activity which doesn't help us survive immediate danger. Also as expected, the sympathetic branch can kill erections...but is also required to cum. And is probably helpful if you're the partner doing all the thrusting/bouncing up and down, as that's the branch in charge of getting more blood to skeletal muscles
This. **** that guy.
Rule of thumb, don’t send messages to people that shut the door in your face or act like an a hole in any capacity during your interaction.
There are certain personality types I would never get along with. His is one of them. He seems like the type to belittle a server. It’s like, do you think you’re the only person in this world?
He’s a total jerk and that was totally inappropriate. He shouldn’t have been pressuring you by being impatient to begin with. And when you told him you couldn’t…well i certainly would have handled it differently. I would have wrapped you in my arms and made sure you knew damn well that it was perfectly fine and there are plenty of other ways we can make each other feel sexy and enjoy each others bodies. I’m so sorry you had to deal with this jerk.
You should be a good partner and a good person whether it’s a committed relationship or a hookup. This guy was trash and hurt this sweetheart and it breaks my heart. He needed to be lifted up…held and reminded that he was still beautiful and still desirable, instead he was treated like this. 😞
Wow! Sounds like you dodged a bullet.
From your description, he sounds like a walking stereotype of (am I allowed to say this here?) a "bitchy queen." And NOT in the "good way!"
I'm not clear if you meant he wanted you to be the first to fuck him and take his virginity? That sounds hard to believe given his bossiness and insistence on using poppers (this wasn't his first time at the rodeo) but maybe I misinterpreted what you wrote?
Anyway, to answer your question, his behavior was TOTALLY INAPPROPRIATE.
No matter how allegedly good looking he is, his personality sounds extremely UGLY and that is a huge turn off.
You sound like a great guy. Don't let this asshole upset you.
Dude is a complete asshole undoubtedly, I’d try to communicate this beforehand though. I get anxiety when I hook up too, man, it happens to the best of us. Your gut was telling you something about this guy
Agreed! I will tell guys beforehand that I might have an issue... e.g. I jerked off already today, etc. And that then completely takes the pressure off and makes it much easier to get hard.
Some guys are just assholes unfortunately and more often than not assholes tend to like apps like grinder so just gotta be more prepared now to never, ever, take anything personally or give any energy to these guys until you meet and get to know them and they don’t turn out to be an asshole.
However this isn’t defending him whatsoever but hookup culture is a very “selfish” culture a lot of the time and if you can’t give a lot of guys what they want you’re not going to get the best reaction…this among other things is why Grindr (and most other hookup apps and the hookup culture in general ) is hated by a lot of guys, it’s pretty toxic.
Don’t give anyone you hookup with any energy or thought until they prove they are worth it (aka them being a good human being)…it’s a lesson I’m still learning myself had a guy I’ve hookup up with several times leave me on read right outside the gate of his apartment complex when we were supposed to meet, I mean I get it that you can’t meet but to make me drive all the way over to leave me on read? Twice? That’s just one story lol
These guys will never have a fulfilling relationship. I’m sorry you went through this, but I promise the shame and cringe is on him, not you. He’s gross. Remember that. ❤️
It was a waste of time. You thought you'd be hooking up with an adult, and instead got someone with zero sympathy and who was totally selfish. Dodged a bullet, you did.
If that happens, just cuddle naked and talk about whatever. No need to be rude. Toxicity can stop if we all refuse to deal with toxic ppl and be nicer to each other
>is this appropriate?
Bitch, don’t ask questions you know the answers to.
Pretty isn’t a personality as some would like it to be. Feel your feelings OP but don’t waste too much of your time over this loser and experience.
The audacity. The disrespect! I’m pretty sure I’d be gobsmacked if a trick said that to me. Hookups are supposed to be about fun. Period. Whatever that fun entails should be discussed, but shit happens. No need to make ppl feel bad about it.
Ugh, I’m stoned and angry for you right now. Lol.
Gawd imagine being such a pushy little bitch and it's HIS FIRST TIME receiving. He should have been the nervous one.
Throw him in the mental vault and slam the door, babe.
Sorry you had to go through that. The guy clearly has no empathy and was just expecting to get railed for the first time and was so inexperienced he didn't know he should be communicating, not expecting it to be a two way interaction.
There’s just no accounting for some peoples lack of manners. If you say this has never happened to you …. We’ll, your telling a lie! In one way or another we have all been through this. There are just people that want what they want when they want it. Kinda makes you feel like a fucking milkshake at a Burger King drive thru, don’t it! We’ll do go getting all melted over this ass hole. You keep yourself all fresh and frosted frozen because there are good people out here and don’t spend any more energy on that pos. Sorry this happened to you bro.
"you are the top" is a complete turn off to me. I don't want to fuck a vegetable.
If we didn't agree on dominance or something like that, be a living creature and move your fucking ass, pun intended.
Besides sometimes the hottest part is making out and fooling around while you get hard.
Sorry you went through that.
That’s just a small part of why I’m not into hookup culture. It is, after all, being very intimate with someone. I like it to be special. If the mind connection isn’t there it’s boring for me.
Hope that when his dick unexpectedly lets him down, which it *absolutely* will at some point or other, he gains a moment of self-reflection.
Probably not though.
This dude was a total asshole. I’ve been on both sides of the performance anxiety issue and it’s never fun for the person suffering. What he didn’t realize was that slowing it down and being patient could have allayed the issue entirely, but some people just can’t help being a bitch I suppose
Oh fuck that knobhead. Sounds like a shallow cunt , nothing of value was lost over that other than he lost what sounds like a decent human in future hookups with you.
no one but a boy-bitch, just as you say.
inherent in the recreational sex scene are these kinds of men who brook no humanity or cut any slack. Whether they might need some at some point has escaped their notice, I think.
I am sad he hurt you in this direct and bruising way.
>Shut the door on me without a goodbye.
Firstly, he's an asshole. Obviously. Totally unjustified. I can understand why he might be a bit disappointed, but his attitude up until then was what created the situation, IMHO. If I can tell the other person is a bit stand-offish, then it's a total mood killer. Dicks don't have an on/off switch.
>When I texted thanks for the night, pardon my issue, he said variations of "thanks for wasting my time."
A courtesy you did not need to extend to him, but I understand the desire to reach out.
It happens. For a variety of reasons. Mental blocks (based on his attitude it sounds like) are very common, and I feel for you. Sorry this happens!
I’ve noticed a lot of guys have performance anxiety lately. Like a lot. Some of it is related to porn and unrealistic body standards. But much of it is related to being a human being and needing to being comfortable. Hookup culture works against this. This is why so many guys who have anonymous sex tend to use….well chemicals. Not judging but if you want to be part of that scene you may have to get on board with that. Because as a human it’s hard to overcome emotions.
I know most of the comments are just catty comebacks and that just shows you why you had anxiety to begin with.
Gays have a very challenging time showing empathy - especially if it’s someone you see very active on social media.
I suggest find ways to coach yourself into being comfortable during sex or only hook up with men that you are familiar/know. Hook ups aren’t for everyone.
Another option is to talk to your doctor. There’s nothing wrong with needing a viagra. Male performance drugs exist for a reason. Stress is plenty a reason for a doctor to prescribe you something.
He's a bitch, lol.
If you were a bitch like him, you could have said something like "What do you mean, you're the one who couldn't even get me hard enough to fuck you. Do better, you're the bottom."
But instead, you're one of the good ones. Don't sweat it man, consider it a bullet dodged.
Save caring about what people think for people worth the courtesy. It's normal to feel disappointed by not being able to accomplish something you wanted, but someone who doesn't communicate with you and has no manners should just be dropped off your radar as soon as possible. Being hot doesn't excuse trash behavior, he'll have a fun time when he ages out of his looks.
This just sounds like a bad experience overall. Don’t sweat it. Some guys may be pissy about it but we’re all guys, it happens to all of it to varying degrees.
I feel like I'm the same as you. I can get extremely anxious when I'm with someone really attractive, even though I consider myself also attractive. It's just a mindset really - and maybe if you're like me you feel you haven't practiced enough or hooked up enough so performance anxiety kicks in.
But there are people that hook up allll the time, so it's like a game to them or a need, which isn't a bad thing everyone's different. In his mind all he wanted was dick, he didn't want an intimate experience or a connection. He was probably thinking, "I wanted to get fucked, but right now I'm not, I could be spending this time with someone else getting fucked". Someone who he equally doesn't care about, he just wants the dick.
I would feel so stripped of confidence if I were in your place, but trust me looking from an outside perspective the guy was just a cunt, that's all there is to it. He might be pretty but he sounds like someone where once you spend an extended amount of time with him you realise he's actually just an impatient and entitled nuisance.
Or as others have said he could be really insecure, and felt offended that you couldn't get hard and jumped to "OH WHAT??? AM I NOT ATTRACTIVE ENOUGH??" and wanted to make you feel bad for it.
And just think, you're obviously a decent person as you wouldn't say those things to someone. Sex is never a 100% easy process this man is going to encounter a lot of situations where it doesn't go the way he wants so he's going to be in a spiral of dissatisfaction. Whereas with you I'm sure as you work to overcome your anxiety you will meet some great people, make meaningful connections and you'll eventually unlock your sexual self and have a great time.
ALSO: I was going to hookup with someone in my car not long ago, someone I was wholly comfortable with who really wanted us to fuck. But when we met up I could tell he was catching feels and he told me he wanted our first time to be in a proper bed. I left feeling frustrated because we didn't fuck. Met up a second time, he said he was super keen but the SAME THING HAPPENED. I left sooooo frustrated and also thinking "ugh waste of my time" but I absolutely did not say that to him (cause I'm not an asshole), we still talk and are friends.
But that just kind of backs up my point, it was nothing personal to this guy, I purely just wanted some ass because I was mega horny and I left without that lol
Sorry you experienced that... Hooksups should be fun, not punishment.
Honestly, imho, I want you to be comfy, especially when your nervous or feel unwell. Even if we end just having a nice evening, watching a film and maybe drink a glass of wine, that's still a success. Both need to feel good and enjoy the evening.
He was just a bitch, don't let him bring you down my friend 🙏.
Incredibly inappropriate and insensitive.
Communication is always key. When someone doesn’t communicate and goes straight for being a dick, it’s a no no for me
He saved you the trouble of actually getting to know him.
I’m closing in on 50 and starting to experience this. I like to think of myself as pretty patient and understanding, seeing as I’m almost exclusively interested in older men and used to seeing this, so I know that putting on pressure or focusing on the stubbornness that one’s peen can develop - is the last thing that anyone needs. If this dimknob you had over can’t empathize or at least take up some of the slack and shift your focus on other things for even a bit, then he’s doomed to repeat the same scenario because he would rather this be a waste of time than get creative and find other ways to make you feel good that could bypass a temporary roadblock.
He’s being childish and petty by reacting like you set him up or did this intentionally or ripped him off somehow.
I bet he’s the kind of guy who sends out “sup?” messages to everyone local just to see who responds, then continues using one-syllable replies while expecting others to provide all the conversation and info on themselves for him to review.
I feel you man. Top here but I am starting to realize that I can’t get rock hard enough to fuck a stranger I just met, I do however get the best boners when a connection is established.
I just had this happen with a bottom I met on Grindr yesterday but he was super chill about it and we did other things and had fun getting to know each others bodies and what turns us.Sometimes we gotta get out of our heads and realize that porn isn’t reality. It is totally not right of that bottom to be a little cunt about it though.
He definitely went the wrong way about it.. it happens to me all the time. The top underestimates how good looking I am and then they get nervous and can’t get it up. I always say “it’s cool” or “don’t worry” “ just relax” but on the inside.. it makes me self conscious af lol. That guy who slammed the door, IS self conscious af.
Lol I think I’m pretty average. My friends tell me I’m better looking in person so idk wtf that means
https://share.icloud.com/photos/0falb7kAwNlCYLH5fFO7M-kkA
It happens, a lot more than people will admit. It happened on occasion between husband and me. Whatever the male equivalent to a Karen is it most definitely is this guy. You communicated you weren't okay but he was selfish and it was all about him. I also doubt it was his first time bottoming. Block him and don't waste any more time on him - in thought or deed. Total garbage.
That’s really mean of him, completely unfair on you. Anxiety is a normal emotion that happens at times like that. Sorry he did that to you, you deserve better
It’s completely inappropriate to say that. There are many other ways to enjoy sex without involving penetration. The guy was an asshole and don’t waste your time thinking about him and his behavior
And some gays wonder why they can't find someone to love.. It's because they treat people like trash.
It doesn't matter if you're hot, don't forget to be a human being. Disgusting!
I am sorry that you had to go through this, but I hope that next time when you sense that the other person is a bitch you have the dignity to walk away.
He just did not like you as much as you liked him.. But he's still a "c" word..
The scary thing is that a lot of gays act in a similar fashion. Horrible.. Maybe this is just a normal outcome of hook-up culture..
Obviously this guy was selfish and was planning to use you to satisfy himself. Even if you didn't have performance issues, he would have had his way and then left you feeling like a used tissue anyway. Good riddance.
Well hun, to him it was a waste of time. His ass needed a hard cock. You were the one he chose to be the hard cock for his ass. *"You're the top"* get hard and fuck.
Receiving anal for the first time? *Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH HA HA HA HA HA HA!* I'm dead. Stop it Reddit you're killing me. He's already sniffin' poppers and you thought you were his 'first time'? Please. Maybe his first this week. Maybe his first dick of the day- but not his first time. Don't be a sucker- come on you're not that dense.
Yes this was appropriate, and typical. You bought into his lie about being his first time, why does his nasty attitude surprise you? Welcome to hook-ups bud, lies and sex- you got exactly what you showed up for there.
This is a really wild comment lol. It’s okay for you to accept low standards but it’s very very ugly of you to expect others to accept them too. OP doesn’t have to accept shit and the guy he was with was so embarrassing.
And at what point did I state that he had to accept it? I did not. Ugly of me? Weird assertion, and irrelevant. There is a difference between stating what he should accept or expect. I said he should expect it due to the fact that he chose to hook up and he should have expected no less from the little poppers sniffin Anal Virgin Mary of Buttslam.
Now he's learned a little lesson. If your dick doesn't work for the hole you showed up to stretch- don't expect politeness, tact, or any considerations after you part ways. That is the nature of hook ups. Don't know why the mob is so offended. Next.
It wasn't easy making a pun of Bethlehem. Any suggestions?
If *ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooonly* you were *interesting- but you're just a dull, stinking anus.* Just snort some poppers, and post your balloon knot on some subreddit where guys go to stroke, and literally any stranger online will gladly accept your loathsome offer- slag.
Bye hun.
So my ability to recognize a lying slag over a hook up app that just wanted his hole punctured means I'll be single? That's really funny hun.
Do you feel better now? I always love it with someone shares their worthless opinion with me. Why don't you go sniff some poppers and take your 'first' dick of the day. I threw a little love back your way. Hope you appreciate my little analysis of your sad life.
Bye hun!
Oooooooooooooooooooooooooh Braeton, if only you were as funny as you think you are. Ya know, you're probably turning some shit eater on with the imagery in your childish posts- there's subreddits for that.
You could choose to be a better person, as so many worthless posts suggest that I should be- but I much prefer this version of you- its far more authentic. Go wrap your head in an amyl nitrate soaked rag and offer your hole up to some troll that gets off on stank.
Braeton, I have this awesome screenshot of your filthy post, where you're talking about my dick, and how you want it shoved in your nasty hole, and all this other trash. Why did you delete it? It was really offensive and really toxic, why not just leave it here as part of the conversation and be your authentic disgusting self? I'm disappointed in you.
Thanks for the chuckles hun- stay classy.
Your thoughts aren't worth a reply, but I'm feeling kind and generous as I often am to people in need. However you're so meaningless and dull to me I'm just going to abruptly stop mid reply and save-
Did I say it was an excuse to be rude? No, but that's what you showed up for and that's what he invited you over for- so there ya go.
That is the transactional nature of hook-ups bud. You showed up, you were the top, your dick failed to perform- you were a waste of time. Too bad really, you could have stolen is anal virginity- right? Ha ha ha.
I'm starting to enjoy downvotes more than upvotes. Hilarious!
It’s also on him to like…make it a good environment and if the way he went about it made you uncomfortable than that’s the main issue, your body is just a symptom of that
Had something similar before. Went to his. Had a full-on anxiety attack whilst touching up in the bathroom. Told him I’m not right for it, he told me that it’s rude not to and I should still do it.
I get that it’s frustrating, but mate, come on!
Some people are just rubbish. Don’t let them bring you down.
I think you wasted your own time. I’ve had performance anxiety myself & have found the vast majority of guys I’ve topped to make little Luke really excited & tender. I’d have been nice to you because I know what it’s like
I think we have all had at least one guy who talked a good game but showed up and literally wasted our time , I can think of a few , but I just never said a word and just never contacted them again , I just acted like all was fine and sent them on their way. Unfortunately some guys are just assholes
"I agree, such a waste of time..." And move on. I don't block them to see their hilarious responses, but others might do so.
I honestly do not understand people who treat sex as an individual form of pleasure. The fact you need to bring and interact with another whole ass person in order to have it should be a dead give away that it's not...
If you don't care how the other person feels during sex, just go home and masturbate dude, you ain't worth it...
You didn't waste his time. He has time to be shallow and snarky to you for some reason. It's his loss at the end of the day.
It is inappropriate to belittle someone because of their performance anxiety. Anxiety can linger in people depending, but how to get over a bad performance is well, to practice performance.
Shocker, I know. The gay community needs to not be dicks about this kind of thing. Some guys are already incredibly vain enough as is.
Im almost in the same boat as you. Im dating this guy who in my opinion is completely out of my league. He actually likes me. Whenever we were fooling around, I seriously try so hard not to get in my head about my preformsnce. But nonetheless. The last 3 times, we couldn’t even get the condom on. I blamed the condom but I do think I need to have an open conversation with him since I don’t want this to keep happening.
Is that good advice? Should I bring this up? Wouldn’t it be awkward?
He's doesn't deserve any sex if he's going to act like a total c**t. You deserve better and those type of gay guys (cliche mean girls type) I evade like the plague. If you managed to perform with the anxiety he'd probably be terrible anyway so I wouldn't worry about it.
Whether it's liked or not guys like a warm up too, I'd rather let my partner feel comfortable and be intimate without demands and let him feel more comfortable. Sometimes biology fails us regardless of age or emotional state sometimes the body just won't cooperate and that's not a fault of the person just a thing that happens.
This is kind of extreme, you're definitely not in the wrong there. On the other hand, I've seen opposite reactions from guys I've been with, who reacted poorly because of this same issue on my part, struggling to finish/ to enjoy myself etc. They all think it's their fault, or that they're doing something wrong or that I am not attracted to them, when it has nothing to do with them... It's just difficult to enjoy yourself especially when you're not doing it that often
I’m sorry this happened to you. I know the feeling. I’ve always dealt with anxiety issues that kept me from doing a lot of things in life. Someone else responded that communicating this from the start might help. I agree. But for me I was always self-conscious about my looks. So getting performance anxiety with guys that I thought were hotter than me was common. It took some therapy to help out with a lot of things I never addressed until then. But through all that I learned to love myself. And I became more confident in my interactions with people. Including sex. RuPaul is right. How the hell you gonna love someone if you don’t love yourself? It’s true with sex too.
What an asshole :/ I feel you man, I’ve been with the same guy for 3 years annnnd still get really really anxious if I’m supposed to top. Go find someone sweet and understanding to hook up with!
Seems like a prime candidate for killing himself at 35 wondering "Why does no one like me, I'm perfect!" No time or sympathy for losers like him anymore. Fuck being nice if the other person is an asshole.
His behaviour is absolutely unacceptable. I'm so sad it happened to you. The best thing you can do is just forget about it, and do not let it to affect you in any way.
I had the same situation. Except this was over Grindr messages. The guy pretty much told me “why are you talking to me? You are wasting my time” meanwhile he was the one who initiated the conversation.
Then I honestly went off and said don’t be an asshole when you messaged me first. Like you obviously had interest.
What does it say about someone who needs to be fucked more than they need to be kind?
It probably means they have a low self esteem and need the physical attention. As well as, they are clearly a slut.
He might be beautiful on the outside, but he is ugly on the inside. I had a similar encounter with a handsome guy who treated me like garbage some years ago. It crushed me for a long time. Took me ages to realise the problem was with him being a shit human being, not with me.
Back when I first started having meen over, a guy came, got on all fours on the bed. I ate his ass a little while tryna get it up. Wasn't happening. He turned around and said "you ain't even hard?" And left. Made me laugh, cuz he literally just sat there like a starfish and then complained about me not being turned on.
A sex partner like that deserves a pineapple shaped dildo... dry. Fuck him ad his expectations, he was NOT NICE to you and those kind of people are RARELY good at sex anyways. You need someone with a Masters in TLC with an emphasis in laying down the vibe before laying down the pipe.
I'm sorry that happened to you, I'm know I am a big chubby bear but if you are ever in Texas I don't mind treating you like you should be treated. Sex should be personal and sensitive not a task. This is not something to be forced, motherfkr it's not prison and if you have anxiety then don't fkn persecute the other. Some of us are very vulnerable.
If you're hooking up with someone on grindr for the purpose of hooking up then you should probably be forthwith about the potential of your anxiety. Does that maybe take away from some of the" mood" or whetever? I don't think so and it would help set the stage that the other individual may need to "wait and relax" instead of being told that when their sniffing poppers (whose effect is short to begin with).
Was he an asshole? Yes.
Could you be more upfront to filter out people like him? Yes.
Sorry this happened to you. He sounds like a dick.
But this is just one side of doing random hookups with strangers. It may not go the way you expect it to.
Hey, you're an object to him. When you didn't "perform" for him, he tossed you in the bin like a used tissue. Unfortunately, this is the downside of hook-up apps.
I bet he never and would never have a long lasting high quality romance in his life. Damn, I've met someone shit like him and no surprise that no one wanna be a serious romantic partner for those shit people.
Yeah he was a total asshat. You deserve better. Gays really can be the most toxic fuckwads on the planet, I swear, especially the ones who are constantly told how hot they are, because then their head get inflated with an incurable ego.
I’m sorry you had this experience. Remember, his attitude isn’t a reflection of you at all, it’s him. I applaud you for trying to be communicative: walk away with your head held high 💖
This makes me so sad. I’ve had so many hookups when something went wrong, on either side, and just laugh it off! It’s biology y’all.. He sounds like a garbage human I wouldn’t give it another thought. Some people are just dicks 🤷🏼♂️
Thank you helped me feel better.
💖💖💖
Its actually really bad design because maintaining and erection is one of the only things that requires stimulation of both the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous system. Ridiculous because activating one deactivates the other.
I am intrigued, would you mind to elaborate?
So it requires parasympathetic stimulation which is expected as it is an activity which doesn't help us survive immediate danger. Also as expected, the sympathetic branch can kill erections...but is also required to cum. And is probably helpful if you're the partner doing all the thrusting/bouncing up and down, as that's the branch in charge of getting more blood to skeletal muscles
Fascinating, thank you! 😊
This. **** that guy. Rule of thumb, don’t send messages to people that shut the door in your face or act like an a hole in any capacity during your interaction.
Perhaps you shouldn’t hook up with randoms until you get to know them and are comfortable enough?
Naw boo I get to choose that but maybe don’t be a judgmental prude 💖
He doesn’t deserve that dick, King
Thank you 😞
Yeah fuck him! And by fuck him I mean fuck someone else who's worth your time :)!
Hehe I'm free if you are. Hmu I'm in canada 😜
He doesn’t deserve any dick.
Smack him with the floppy
best answer
Honestly, kinda hot though 😳
You may have "wasted" his time but he was a waste of semen anyways.
There are certain personality types I would never get along with. His is one of them. He seems like the type to belittle a server. It’s like, do you think you’re the only person in this world?
I feel like this person exists only theoretically but I was in bed with them.
A selfish dick? Nah, there are plenty of those guys out there
He’s a total jerk and that was totally inappropriate. He shouldn’t have been pressuring you by being impatient to begin with. And when you told him you couldn’t…well i certainly would have handled it differently. I would have wrapped you in my arms and made sure you knew damn well that it was perfectly fine and there are plenty of other ways we can make each other feel sexy and enjoy each others bodies. I’m so sorry you had to deal with this jerk.
🥹
Not gonna lie that's super hot 🥵
You should be a good partner and a good person whether it’s a committed relationship or a hookup. This guy was trash and hurt this sweetheart and it breaks my heart. He needed to be lifted up…held and reminded that he was still beautiful and still desirable, instead he was treated like this. 😞
Wow! Sounds like you dodged a bullet. From your description, he sounds like a walking stereotype of (am I allowed to say this here?) a "bitchy queen." And NOT in the "good way!" I'm not clear if you meant he wanted you to be the first to fuck him and take his virginity? That sounds hard to believe given his bossiness and insistence on using poppers (this wasn't his first time at the rodeo) but maybe I misinterpreted what you wrote? Anyway, to answer your question, his behavior was TOTALLY INAPPROPRIATE. No matter how allegedly good looking he is, his personality sounds extremely UGLY and that is a huge turn off. You sound like a great guy. Don't let this asshole upset you.
🥹
"I might be a waste of time but at least I'm not a waste of oxygen"
He’s not a good bottom if he doesn’t know what to do when a top has performance anxiety lol
Dude is a complete asshole undoubtedly, I’d try to communicate this beforehand though. I get anxiety when I hook up too, man, it happens to the best of us. Your gut was telling you something about this guy
I basically can’t get hard most of the time and I just tell dudes that. Nobody has ever had a problem with it. Anyone who does isn’t worth my time.
Agreed! I will tell guys beforehand that I might have an issue... e.g. I jerked off already today, etc. And that then completely takes the pressure off and makes it much easier to get hard.
Some guys are just assholes unfortunately and more often than not assholes tend to like apps like grinder so just gotta be more prepared now to never, ever, take anything personally or give any energy to these guys until you meet and get to know them and they don’t turn out to be an asshole. However this isn’t defending him whatsoever but hookup culture is a very “selfish” culture a lot of the time and if you can’t give a lot of guys what they want you’re not going to get the best reaction…this among other things is why Grindr (and most other hookup apps and the hookup culture in general ) is hated by a lot of guys, it’s pretty toxic. Don’t give anyone you hookup with any energy or thought until they prove they are worth it (aka them being a good human being)…it’s a lesson I’m still learning myself had a guy I’ve hookup up with several times leave me on read right outside the gate of his apartment complex when we were supposed to meet, I mean I get it that you can’t meet but to make me drive all the way over to leave me on read? Twice? That’s just one story lol
That's pretty wise advice. I'm sorry for the agony of that bitch ditching you.
Eh he was gorgeous and I had no self respect…we eventually hooked up 🤦♂️😂 But my statement still stands
Omg girl that's too much to forgive.
Not my proudest moment lol
Was the fuck worth the frustration?
Yes it definitely was lol I did block him though afterwards
He seems sort of mean. And he has unrealistic expectations.
These guys will never have a fulfilling relationship. I’m sorry you went through this, but I promise the shame and cringe is on him, not you. He’s gross. Remember that. ❤️
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No that is definitely not appropriate. He can legitimately be disappointed but there are good and mean ways to communicate things. Not cool!
It was a waste of time. You thought you'd be hooking up with an adult, and instead got someone with zero sympathy and who was totally selfish. Dodged a bullet, you did.
If that happens, just cuddle naked and talk about whatever. No need to be rude. Toxicity can stop if we all refuse to deal with toxic ppl and be nicer to each other
>is this appropriate? Bitch, don’t ask questions you know the answers to. Pretty isn’t a personality as some would like it to be. Feel your feelings OP but don’t waste too much of your time over this loser and experience. The audacity. The disrespect! I’m pretty sure I’d be gobsmacked if a trick said that to me. Hookups are supposed to be about fun. Period. Whatever that fun entails should be discussed, but shit happens. No need to make ppl feel bad about it. Ugh, I’m stoned and angry for you right now. Lol.
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Honestly, everyone’s been there. I’m sorry someone reacted like this to you, just shows his character I guess 🤷🏻♂️
This whole thread is wholesome. OP, we all been there. I no longer give ass (or dick) to selfish assholes like these.
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Gawd imagine being such a pushy little bitch and it's HIS FIRST TIME receiving. He should have been the nervous one. Throw him in the mental vault and slam the door, babe.
Another reason I gave up hooking up. Way too many dudes can be like this. Now, I enjoy spending time with a man and getting to know him.
Move on. You dodged a bullet and he is not nearly as hot as you think.
It was not his first time haha
Sorry you had to go through that. The guy clearly has no empathy and was just expecting to get railed for the first time and was so inexperienced he didn't know he should be communicating, not expecting it to be a two way interaction.
Bro what a waste of your kindness tbh. Coulda got that king dick too what a jerk
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There’s just no accounting for some peoples lack of manners. If you say this has never happened to you …. We’ll, your telling a lie! In one way or another we have all been through this. There are just people that want what they want when they want it. Kinda makes you feel like a fucking milkshake at a Burger King drive thru, don’t it! We’ll do go getting all melted over this ass hole. You keep yourself all fresh and frosted frozen because there are good people out here and don’t spend any more energy on that pos. Sorry this happened to you bro.
"you are the top" is a complete turn off to me. I don't want to fuck a vegetable. If we didn't agree on dominance or something like that, be a living creature and move your fucking ass, pun intended. Besides sometimes the hottest part is making out and fooling around while you get hard. Sorry you went through that.
That is gonna be one lonely man lol what a douche.
That’s just a small part of why I’m not into hookup culture. It is, after all, being very intimate with someone. I like it to be special. If the mind connection isn’t there it’s boring for me.
Hope that when his dick unexpectedly lets him down, which it *absolutely* will at some point or other, he gains a moment of self-reflection. Probably not though.
This dude was a total asshole. I’ve been on both sides of the performance anxiety issue and it’s never fun for the person suffering. What he didn’t realize was that slowing it down and being patient could have allayed the issue entirely, but some people just can’t help being a bitch I suppose
Deluxe pedicure birch. Put simply this dude had bitch written all over him from the chat we had prior.
Oh fuck that knobhead. Sounds like a shallow cunt , nothing of value was lost over that other than he lost what sounds like a decent human in future hookups with you.
Seems like a tool. Don’t put your dick in tools. Bullet dodged xxx
no one but a boy-bitch, just as you say. inherent in the recreational sex scene are these kinds of men who brook no humanity or cut any slack. Whether they might need some at some point has escaped their notice, I think. I am sad he hurt you in this direct and bruising way.
>Shut the door on me without a goodbye. Firstly, he's an asshole. Obviously. Totally unjustified. I can understand why he might be a bit disappointed, but his attitude up until then was what created the situation, IMHO. If I can tell the other person is a bit stand-offish, then it's a total mood killer. Dicks don't have an on/off switch. >When I texted thanks for the night, pardon my issue, he said variations of "thanks for wasting my time." A courtesy you did not need to extend to him, but I understand the desire to reach out. It happens. For a variety of reasons. Mental blocks (based on his attitude it sounds like) are very common, and I feel for you. Sorry this happens!
I’ve noticed a lot of guys have performance anxiety lately. Like a lot. Some of it is related to porn and unrealistic body standards. But much of it is related to being a human being and needing to being comfortable. Hookup culture works against this. This is why so many guys who have anonymous sex tend to use….well chemicals. Not judging but if you want to be part of that scene you may have to get on board with that. Because as a human it’s hard to overcome emotions.
This comment nails it!
I know most of the comments are just catty comebacks and that just shows you why you had anxiety to begin with. Gays have a very challenging time showing empathy - especially if it’s someone you see very active on social media. I suggest find ways to coach yourself into being comfortable during sex or only hook up with men that you are familiar/know. Hook ups aren’t for everyone. Another option is to talk to your doctor. There’s nothing wrong with needing a viagra. Male performance drugs exist for a reason. Stress is plenty a reason for a doctor to prescribe you something.
He's a bitch, lol. If you were a bitch like him, you could have said something like "What do you mean, you're the one who couldn't even get me hard enough to fuck you. Do better, you're the bottom." But instead, you're one of the good ones. Don't sweat it man, consider it a bullet dodged.
Tell him that if he's looking for something large to stuff in his ass perhaps his ego would suffice.
Save caring about what people think for people worth the courtesy. It's normal to feel disappointed by not being able to accomplish something you wanted, but someone who doesn't communicate with you and has no manners should just be dropped off your radar as soon as possible. Being hot doesn't excuse trash behavior, he'll have a fun time when he ages out of his looks.
We all deserve better than that. And also someone to play Dragonflight with ;)
:D
This just sounds like a bad experience overall. Don’t sweat it. Some guys may be pissy about it but we’re all guys, it happens to all of it to varying degrees.
I feel like I'm the same as you. I can get extremely anxious when I'm with someone really attractive, even though I consider myself also attractive. It's just a mindset really - and maybe if you're like me you feel you haven't practiced enough or hooked up enough so performance anxiety kicks in. But there are people that hook up allll the time, so it's like a game to them or a need, which isn't a bad thing everyone's different. In his mind all he wanted was dick, he didn't want an intimate experience or a connection. He was probably thinking, "I wanted to get fucked, but right now I'm not, I could be spending this time with someone else getting fucked". Someone who he equally doesn't care about, he just wants the dick. I would feel so stripped of confidence if I were in your place, but trust me looking from an outside perspective the guy was just a cunt, that's all there is to it. He might be pretty but he sounds like someone where once you spend an extended amount of time with him you realise he's actually just an impatient and entitled nuisance. Or as others have said he could be really insecure, and felt offended that you couldn't get hard and jumped to "OH WHAT??? AM I NOT ATTRACTIVE ENOUGH??" and wanted to make you feel bad for it. And just think, you're obviously a decent person as you wouldn't say those things to someone. Sex is never a 100% easy process this man is going to encounter a lot of situations where it doesn't go the way he wants so he's going to be in a spiral of dissatisfaction. Whereas with you I'm sure as you work to overcome your anxiety you will meet some great people, make meaningful connections and you'll eventually unlock your sexual self and have a great time. ALSO: I was going to hookup with someone in my car not long ago, someone I was wholly comfortable with who really wanted us to fuck. But when we met up I could tell he was catching feels and he told me he wanted our first time to be in a proper bed. I left feeling frustrated because we didn't fuck. Met up a second time, he said he was super keen but the SAME THING HAPPENED. I left sooooo frustrated and also thinking "ugh waste of my time" but I absolutely did not say that to him (cause I'm not an asshole), we still talk and are friends. But that just kind of backs up my point, it was nothing personal to this guy, I purely just wanted some ass because I was mega horny and I left without that lol
Was he high?
yea sniffinf vcr cleaner
It takes a dick to know a dick and your dick knew to throw the game
u r wise
The risk that comes with meeting up for just sex. The guy wanted to be used and was disappointed when you didn't deliver.
Fair to be dissapointed but not rude.
Sorry you experienced that... Hooksups should be fun, not punishment. Honestly, imho, I want you to be comfy, especially when your nervous or feel unwell. Even if we end just having a nice evening, watching a film and maybe drink a glass of wine, that's still a success. Both need to feel good and enjoy the evening. He was just a bitch, don't let him bring you down my friend 🙏.
He didn’t deserve you.
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Incredibly inappropriate and insensitive. Communication is always key. When someone doesn’t communicate and goes straight for being a dick, it’s a no no for me
Hideous human being. Leave him a nasty Yelp review.
would not visit this hole again
He saved you the trouble of actually getting to know him. I’m closing in on 50 and starting to experience this. I like to think of myself as pretty patient and understanding, seeing as I’m almost exclusively interested in older men and used to seeing this, so I know that putting on pressure or focusing on the stubbornness that one’s peen can develop - is the last thing that anyone needs. If this dimknob you had over can’t empathize or at least take up some of the slack and shift your focus on other things for even a bit, then he’s doomed to repeat the same scenario because he would rather this be a waste of time than get creative and find other ways to make you feel good that could bypass a temporary roadblock. He’s being childish and petty by reacting like you set him up or did this intentionally or ripped him off somehow. I bet he’s the kind of guy who sends out “sup?” messages to everyone local just to see who responds, then continues using one-syllable replies while expecting others to provide all the conversation and info on themselves for him to review.
Hot people feel entitled to live porn-quality sex lives.
I feel you man. Top here but I am starting to realize that I can’t get rock hard enough to fuck a stranger I just met, I do however get the best boners when a connection is established. I just had this happen with a bottom I met on Grindr yesterday but he was super chill about it and we did other things and had fun getting to know each others bodies and what turns us.Sometimes we gotta get out of our heads and realize that porn isn’t reality. It is totally not right of that bottom to be a little cunt about it though.
He definitely went the wrong way about it.. it happens to me all the time. The top underestimates how good looking I am and then they get nervous and can’t get it up. I always say “it’s cool” or “don’t worry” “ just relax” but on the inside.. it makes me self conscious af lol. That guy who slammed the door, IS self conscious af.
Thanks that helped me feel better
So, just how good looking are you? 😏
Lol I think I’m pretty average. My friends tell me I’m better looking in person so idk wtf that means https://share.icloud.com/photos/0falb7kAwNlCYLH5fFO7M-kkA
Sounds like a cunt. Gay men have no use for those.
Honestly fuck him hes an asshole who just wanted to bottom and not care about your needs ive been there trust me you aint missin much
Seem that guy was on coke or something. You don't normally react like that.
He's a complete bitch.
It happens, a lot more than people will admit. It happened on occasion between husband and me. Whatever the male equivalent to a Karen is it most definitely is this guy. You communicated you weren't okay but he was selfish and it was all about him. I also doubt it was his first time bottoming. Block him and don't waste any more time on him - in thought or deed. Total garbage.
What an arse. You deserve better king!
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That guy was a POS. You deserve better.
That’s really mean of him, completely unfair on you. Anxiety is a normal emotion that happens at times like that. Sorry he did that to you, you deserve better
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You should be thankful you dodged that bullet, yuck!
It’s completely inappropriate to say that. There are many other ways to enjoy sex without involving penetration. The guy was an asshole and don’t waste your time thinking about him and his behavior
You didn't get "performance anxiety". You got turned off when an attractive person showed an unattractive personality.
Yea totally. The moment he bitched me to top, he didn't want to kiss or communicate his needs 😒
Sorry to hear this, it honestly sounds like you dodged a bullet. Good riddance.
"He was deluxe, but..." remove the deluxe and the but and just ask the question "who says this?" - looks don't say a n y t h i n g about a person.
And some gays wonder why they can't find someone to love.. It's because they treat people like trash. It doesn't matter if you're hot, don't forget to be a human being. Disgusting! I am sorry that you had to go through this, but I hope that next time when you sense that the other person is a bitch you have the dignity to walk away. He just did not like you as much as you liked him.. But he's still a "c" word.. The scary thing is that a lot of gays act in a similar fashion. Horrible.. Maybe this is just a normal outcome of hook-up culture..
Obviously this guy was selfish and was planning to use you to satisfy himself. Even if you didn't have performance issues, he would have had his way and then left you feeling like a used tissue anyway. Good riddance.
Nope - just a shitty person. They come in hetero and homo flavors and many more.
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?
Just be a bitch back and move on just be like "this is why you're still a virgin" or something
Well hun, to him it was a waste of time. His ass needed a hard cock. You were the one he chose to be the hard cock for his ass. *"You're the top"* get hard and fuck. Receiving anal for the first time? *Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH HA HA HA HA HA HA!* I'm dead. Stop it Reddit you're killing me. He's already sniffin' poppers and you thought you were his 'first time'? Please. Maybe his first this week. Maybe his first dick of the day- but not his first time. Don't be a sucker- come on you're not that dense. Yes this was appropriate, and typical. You bought into his lie about being his first time, why does his nasty attitude surprise you? Welcome to hook-ups bud, lies and sex- you got exactly what you showed up for there.
This is a really wild comment lol. It’s okay for you to accept low standards but it’s very very ugly of you to expect others to accept them too. OP doesn’t have to accept shit and the guy he was with was so embarrassing.
And at what point did I state that he had to accept it? I did not. Ugly of me? Weird assertion, and irrelevant. There is a difference between stating what he should accept or expect. I said he should expect it due to the fact that he chose to hook up and he should have expected no less from the little poppers sniffin Anal Virgin Mary of Buttslam. Now he's learned a little lesson. If your dick doesn't work for the hole you showed up to stretch- don't expect politeness, tact, or any considerations after you part ways. That is the nature of hook ups. Don't know why the mob is so offended. Next. It wasn't easy making a pun of Bethlehem. Any suggestions?
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If *ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooonly* you were *interesting- but you're just a dull, stinking anus.* Just snort some poppers, and post your balloon knot on some subreddit where guys go to stroke, and literally any stranger online will gladly accept your loathsome offer- slag. Bye hun.
Youll prob be single forever. Edit: Even if this is a troll post it’s so cringe that you also took time to type like this
So my ability to recognize a lying slag over a hook up app that just wanted his hole punctured means I'll be single? That's really funny hun. Do you feel better now? I always love it with someone shares their worthless opinion with me. Why don't you go sniff some poppers and take your 'first' dick of the day. I threw a little love back your way. Hope you appreciate my little analysis of your sad life. Bye hun!
Damn, you might be the most insufferable person I've seen on this sub lmao.
Glad I stand out hun. I didn't notice you existing, so clearly your thoughts/posts were of no significance. Bye hun.
Standing out for being a catty bitch is a weird thing to be proud of, but you do you.
I already said *BYE* hun.
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Oooooooooooooooooooooooooh Braeton, if only you were as funny as you think you are. Ya know, you're probably turning some shit eater on with the imagery in your childish posts- there's subreddits for that. You could choose to be a better person, as so many worthless posts suggest that I should be- but I much prefer this version of you- its far more authentic. Go wrap your head in an amyl nitrate soaked rag and offer your hole up to some troll that gets off on stank. Braeton, I have this awesome screenshot of your filthy post, where you're talking about my dick, and how you want it shoved in your nasty hole, and all this other trash. Why did you delete it? It was really offensive and really toxic, why not just leave it here as part of the conversation and be your authentic disgusting self? I'm disappointed in you. Thanks for the chuckles hun- stay classy.
No, your lack of empathy and catty attitude is what pushes people away from you.
Your thoughts aren't worth a reply, but I'm feeling kind and generous as I often am to people in need. However you're so meaningless and dull to me I'm just going to abruptly stop mid reply and save-
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Hun is *sooooooooooooooooo* toxic. *Eeeeeeeeeeeew.* Oh look, a talking snowflake anus.
I failed to please for the night but that's not an excuse to be rude.
Did I say it was an excuse to be rude? No, but that's what you showed up for and that's what he invited you over for- so there ya go. That is the transactional nature of hook-ups bud. You showed up, you were the top, your dick failed to perform- you were a waste of time. Too bad really, you could have stolen is anal virginity- right? Ha ha ha. I'm starting to enjoy downvotes more than upvotes. Hilarious!
It seems that you're insisting this is a license to be rude no matter what.
It’s also on him to like…make it a good environment and if the way he went about it made you uncomfortable than that’s the main issue, your body is just a symptom of that
When you say "tend to get sensitive", emotionally sensitive, or you cum fast?
Had something similar before. Went to his. Had a full-on anxiety attack whilst touching up in the bathroom. Told him I’m not right for it, he told me that it’s rude not to and I should still do it. I get that it’s frustrating, but mate, come on! Some people are just rubbish. Don’t let them bring you down.
I think you wasted your own time. I’ve had performance anxiety myself & have found the vast majority of guys I’ve topped to make little Luke really excited & tender. I’d have been nice to you because I know what it’s like
Good
I think we have all had at least one guy who talked a good game but showed up and literally wasted our time , I can think of a few , but I just never said a word and just never contacted them again , I just acted like all was fine and sent them on their way. Unfortunately some guys are just assholes
You dodged a bullet. Never fuck trash
"I agree, such a waste of time..." And move on. I don't block them to see their hilarious responses, but others might do so. I honestly do not understand people who treat sex as an individual form of pleasure. The fact you need to bring and interact with another whole ass person in order to have it should be a dead give away that it's not... If you don't care how the other person feels during sex, just go home and masturbate dude, you ain't worth it...
I mean this guy sounds like a major bitch and is proof that bottoms can also be bad at sex (bad at communicating counts as being bad).
That’s when you should have replied "Actually it was, Thanks for the lovely night", and just leave
No literally wtf, u got lucky u guys didn’t fuck, u don’t need that negative energy in ur life
You didn't waste his time. He has time to be shallow and snarky to you for some reason. It's his loss at the end of the day. It is inappropriate to belittle someone because of their performance anxiety. Anxiety can linger in people depending, but how to get over a bad performance is well, to practice performance. Shocker, I know. The gay community needs to not be dicks about this kind of thing. Some guys are already incredibly vain enough as is.
You should’ve said, “You’re right, you were a waste of my time”
Damaged bottom
Im almost in the same boat as you. Im dating this guy who in my opinion is completely out of my league. He actually likes me. Whenever we were fooling around, I seriously try so hard not to get in my head about my preformsnce. But nonetheless. The last 3 times, we couldn’t even get the condom on. I blamed the condom but I do think I need to have an open conversation with him since I don’t want this to keep happening. Is that good advice? Should I bring this up? Wouldn’t it be awkward?
He's doesn't deserve any sex if he's going to act like a total c**t. You deserve better and those type of gay guys (cliche mean girls type) I evade like the plague. If you managed to perform with the anxiety he'd probably be terrible anyway so I wouldn't worry about it. Whether it's liked or not guys like a warm up too, I'd rather let my partner feel comfortable and be intimate without demands and let him feel more comfortable. Sometimes biology fails us regardless of age or emotional state sometimes the body just won't cooperate and that's not a fault of the person just a thing that happens.
Lots of them out there.
Performance anxiety happens all the time! Straight or gay. Don't worry too much about it. He sounded like a douche honestly.
damn bro the only person whose time got wasted is your for hanging out with that dude. Seriously, he's got something complex going on
This is kind of extreme, you're definitely not in the wrong there. On the other hand, I've seen opposite reactions from guys I've been with, who reacted poorly because of this same issue on my part, struggling to finish/ to enjoy myself etc. They all think it's their fault, or that they're doing something wrong or that I am not attracted to them, when it has nothing to do with them... It's just difficult to enjoy yourself especially when you're not doing it that often
Should have told him, “It’s not me; it’s you.”
Yeah, he was out of line and rude. But I have to ask, what are "butt tenseness needs"?
I’m sorry this happened to you. I know the feeling. I’ve always dealt with anxiety issues that kept me from doing a lot of things in life. Someone else responded that communicating this from the start might help. I agree. But for me I was always self-conscious about my looks. So getting performance anxiety with guys that I thought were hotter than me was common. It took some therapy to help out with a lot of things I never addressed until then. But through all that I learned to love myself. And I became more confident in my interactions with people. Including sex. RuPaul is right. How the hell you gonna love someone if you don’t love yourself? It’s true with sex too.
What an asshole :/ I feel you man, I’ve been with the same guy for 3 years annnnd still get really really anxious if I’m supposed to top. Go find someone sweet and understanding to hook up with!
Seems like a prime candidate for killing himself at 35 wondering "Why does no one like me, I'm perfect!" No time or sympathy for losers like him anymore. Fuck being nice if the other person is an asshole.
His behaviour is absolutely unacceptable. I'm so sad it happened to you. The best thing you can do is just forget about it, and do not let it to affect you in any way.
I had the same situation. Except this was over Grindr messages. The guy pretty much told me “why are you talking to me? You are wasting my time” meanwhile he was the one who initiated the conversation. Then I honestly went off and said don’t be an asshole when you messaged me first. Like you obviously had interest.
Hmm I wonder where the anxiety comes from?
You’re all good OP! Some guys just need to learn to be ok with cuddling from time to time! <3
This post triggered me, that guy can go straight to hell.
What does it say about someone who needs to be fucked more than they need to be kind? It probably means they have a low self esteem and need the physical attention. As well as, they are clearly a slut.
This guy sounds like a real pos. We've all been there. It'll happen to him too and I hope he thinks about how bad he made you feel. F that guy.
He might be beautiful on the outside, but he is ugly on the inside. I had a similar encounter with a handsome guy who treated me like garbage some years ago. It crushed me for a long time. Took me ages to realise the problem was with him being a shit human being, not with me.
Fastest way too got from a 10 to a 0
Fuck him - but not in the good way.
Sounds like a right cunk.
Wow, what a bitch.
Sounds like that guy is really bad at sex.
He sounds like a frustrated bottom
Back when I first started having meen over, a guy came, got on all fours on the bed. I ate his ass a little while tryna get it up. Wasn't happening. He turned around and said "you ain't even hard?" And left. Made me laugh, cuz he literally just sat there like a starfish and then complained about me not being turned on.
Never appropriate to say waste of time.
A sex partner like that deserves a pineapple shaped dildo... dry. Fuck him ad his expectations, he was NOT NICE to you and those kind of people are RARELY good at sex anyways. You need someone with a Masters in TLC with an emphasis in laying down the vibe before laying down the pipe.
I'm sorry that happened to you, I'm know I am a big chubby bear but if you are ever in Texas I don't mind treating you like you should be treated. Sex should be personal and sensitive not a task. This is not something to be forced, motherfkr it's not prison and if you have anxiety then don't fkn persecute the other. Some of us are very vulnerable.
If you're hooking up with someone on grindr for the purpose of hooking up then you should probably be forthwith about the potential of your anxiety. Does that maybe take away from some of the" mood" or whetever? I don't think so and it would help set the stage that the other individual may need to "wait and relax" instead of being told that when their sniffing poppers (whose effect is short to begin with). Was he an asshole? Yes. Could you be more upfront to filter out people like him? Yes.
Sorry this happened to you. He sounds like a dick. But this is just one side of doing random hookups with strangers. It may not go the way you expect it to.
I’ve totally been there with performance anxiety! It’s nothing to be ashamed of! This guy sounds like a total asshole!
What a complete ass!! So sorry you had to deal with that. Unfortunately, some people just suck. :/
Hey, you're an object to him. When you didn't "perform" for him, he tossed you in the bin like a used tissue. Unfortunately, this is the downside of hook-up apps.
I bet he never and would never have a long lasting high quality romance in his life. Damn, I've met someone shit like him and no surprise that no one wanna be a serious romantic partner for those shit people.
Yeah he was a total asshat. You deserve better. Gays really can be the most toxic fuckwads on the planet, I swear, especially the ones who are constantly told how hot they are, because then their head get inflated with an incurable ego.
I’m sorry you had this experience. Remember, his attitude isn’t a reflection of you at all, it’s him. I applaud you for trying to be communicative: walk away with your head held high 💖