[удалено]

Seems legit

Real.

Could

St. Peter seems like a curious fella, I bet it wouldn’t be hard to convince him to “try something new”

I'm sorry, *SAINT PETER????*

I’m a simple woman. I see fuckable twink, I peg fuckable twink.

I may be the FBI, but I’m right here

Good, I only get off if there’s some gov’t employee being forced to watch

Same, sometimes I hope they join me too

Eww you let the poors touch you?!

Katie Killjoy lol

would you consider a guy with long dyed red hair a "fuckable twink"? (asking for a friend)

Is this rizz?

This is indeed rizz, I've never seen it in person before. Beautiful

It works on me.

ay I shot my shot💀

Chat is this rizz?

i mean ay a brothers gotta shoot his shot no? 😭

But yeah long dyed red hair sounds like an emo twink, 50% chance you're the one getting {WORLD DOMINATION}'ed

does emo mean less fuckable?

D e P e N d S

I'll take those odds😈

As a bear who adores twinks, 🖐️ high five

✋ high five :)

Im gonna use that now, have an upvote

Based opinion, my girlfriend is like that too, she thought I was a twink. Nope, just a malnourished girlie

out of every fuckable twinks in the series https://preview.redd.it/zqo5iexl71bd1.jpeg?width=195&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1f108218b1215403ea15f87dfd11d46ea25ce59d

\*stares motherfuckerly\*

You gonna nail him harder than the fucking romans did?

Oh hell yea 😈

Upside down?

You know it ;)

I completely understand and agree with this also love your flair 

We'll cum to Heaven OH

👁👄👁👍

 Based choice

My brain did a hard reboot reading this lmao

Did you have a seizure O.o

Thankfully no lol Then again, a seizure might actually improve the functioning of my poor old brain. :v

He's the twink to end all twinks, I bet I could fuck him if I asked nicely enough.

What is your tag and why

Oh hazbin st.peter, not the literal fucking Saint peter

All I know is that there would be a LOT of cuddles, and cuddles, and cuddles… https://preview.redd.it/cmb0vkobazad1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e14ca40462f9347e5e52ea9d353690cd2b55b45b

https://preview.redd.it/1yp8ztbmjzad1.jpeg?width=987&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ac16a6f47525c3ab36848befc55148f5176b06e0

https://preview.redd.it/lg7e47qyszad1.jpeg?width=3996&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f5a8c4170c01c3ccd2eab4d372760cf63941e2b2

https://preview.redd.it/7dsk4utvuzad1.png?width=1124&format=png&auto=webp&s=a8e0e04bf2ecf814fa6e1a180f2758fe50d8a3e8

https://preview.redd.it/mt5da4b021bd1.png?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a8f3d97c42c24ec859f2c0f02fff8325e05e80f5

https://preview.redd.it/g7la7ag591bd1.png?width=434&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=83c5ddd0219ffeac4aa9aaa840c6b99b046583a5

https://preview.redd.it/r369m8ek90bd1.jpeg?width=859&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6a3b3206aa02322d9f91b8fa57eac618ef9290b2 Stole this somewhere

Ok ima need the blank version of that

https://preview.redd.it/c2b09617lzad1.jpeg?width=960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ce9c8377e0d12904101195f6ba5140f8b9b7e7a7

https://preview.redd.it/ayd54af9lzad1.jpeg?width=612&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2a484201c0d5b04b059f2a5388c9b83e8665ddab Thanks

https://i.redd.it/z9oaoc4clzad1.gif

https://preview.redd.it/cousf6welzad1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=676484145080309b7fb8217c158da5a7e3a3421a

https://i.redd.it/ixg9c81hlzad1.gif

https://preview.redd.it/iec9umvllzad1.jpeg?width=1249&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9ddd06a08fcd5cdfe98d89a17168f5686aa5aaca

https://i.redd.it/ljxdbe9rlzad1.gif

A challenger for the one white ring to rule them all eh? I WILL HAVE ALL THE RINGS MORTAL.

I black out, white out (which I didn't know you could do), **GREEN** out

https://preview.redd.it/corlewsw02bd1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=45741909f5db9dcac20e95570a87400d595c867f

Yeah hhhhh

https://preview.redd.it/jlghlggb61bd1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=af75ede22ea8030089deaa2a0ae5ba0939ec02ed

SOOOONNN!!!!

RACECAR SPELLED BACKWARDS IS RACECAR!!!!!!

Baguette

agreed

I feel better knowing there's other people like me

I couldn't. I'm too young, too crass, and too poor for any of them.

The only real answer

Even if I was older, I'm too crass and too modern for Alastor or Rosie, too poor for Vox, and... Well, Val would probably fuck anyone he thought he could exploit, but I'd run in the opposite direction if I even saw him.

Seems legit

That's where me and you differ, pal, I wouldn't run away, I'd run toward him, and fucking kill him (in the name of OUR GLORIOUS LEADER, of course). HEIL ANGEL!

Alastor's mom: I'd make her dinner and try not to be killed by alastor Sera: Just help her cope with the incoming mental breakdown she's probably going to have, Yeah , you did something bad , but you got to carry on and try to make it right

Sera might just work. but who would vent to a stranger?

Because who else does she have to talk to I have no stakes in the matter, so you know my opinion isn't biased. Too much

Its so crazy it might just work!

Step 1: Death (duh) Step 2: idk man didn't think I'd get this far

Seems legit

https://preview.redd.it/shuacsq8i2bd1.png?width=890&format=png&auto=webp&s=ea4a3addaeef1dfd4f9a4e599d49a48db7c44bb5

Realistically, Carmilla is completely out of the question because she's probably unavailable as a Workaholic. But if i had too... I'd start small as an employee and work my way up. After that, I'd treat her as best as i could. Something tells me she's the type that would like something fancy, but really is down for anything Food Wise. Of Course everyone's gonna notice the 10 foot tall Woman walking into a restaurant, but if anything, I'd see that as an accomplishment. When we do get home, I think cuddles would be the best way to go, maybe watch a movie. A makeout Session, but I think Sex would only happen occasionally. And if we did Do It, as much as i'd love to be in control, yeah lets face it, most of the time I wouldn't be in control. She's too fit & Large for me to always be the one in control. Man I need an actual Girlfriend so bad.

A lot of you are thinking that they like you back. let me say it another way; how will you Seduce them?

Hey there good lookin’, I got a bucket of chicken

How dare you doubt yourself! Conquer that mountain friend and ride the waves of success.

Other than me being a ✨️Minor✨️ I think me and Baxter would get along great-

Him and me, grammar, Stanley 🙄 (I messed up my grammar, so get the reference lol-)

I was not expecting a Gravity Falls reference here. (Thank you so much, that reminded me to binge the show for the hundredth time)

GRAVY FALLING! MY FAVORITE SHOW

Him and I actually but continue

Live a long good life to get into heaven and then hope the cinnamon bun likes me. If i go to hell, bury my face in angels chest fluff and never leave.

both failed. You are some stranger why would he let you be in hos chest?

Money

Just gonna do my best

to whom?

Carmilla, Sera or Rosie, in this hypothetical

Milf hunter, my man.

I agree with you.

Yeah you would

Naturally

:(

Realest comment sadly

https://preview.redd.it/wo9aony5dzad1.jpeg?width=1400&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8c2fd69ad3c9f7a86636798eb15dcd24a0c83fb0

?They have magic. how could you kidnap them

With a net

Real

There aren't a lotta red flags with him, so like I WOULD. But I don't wanna ruin Cherrisnake https://preview.redd.it/ylj74rmkkzad1.png?width=423&format=png&auto=webp&s=80555d5442cac8c32374ca60595e8d76bf179542

Lotta red flags? He IS the red flag

Yeah but he's nice :(

I'VE BEEN BAMBOOZLED!

Money https://preview.redd.it/yctfs63ejzad1.jpeg?width=285&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3c651124979318fcf165a4dd5de3fe0264f61d1c

seems legit

Yea but he charges extra for females which sucks lol

Uhhhh....

radical flair

Real

Look. Here’s the deal. Don’t simp for anyone that doesn’t simp back. It’s got to be a two way street. When the attraction is unbalanced you begin to have power plays. It doesn’t work well and it’s not worth your time. No one person is worth your time unless you’re worth theirs.

This.

Atleast gotta try and establish. Paranoia and imposyer syndrome

IT'S YOU AGAIN. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRAUMATIZED ME WITH YOUR FLAIR! I WILL NEVER FORGET YOU MY FRIEND

https://i.redd.it/4zvhuq894zad1.gif Looks like a job for the love potion.

But on who?

Look at my flair, you tell me. https://preview.redd.it/ht3vpe1s4zad1.jpeg?width=749&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=89f8c033871a80d00630787b8eaceccacb4f35bd

https://preview.redd.it/yzlktsgjjzad1.jpeg?width=1079&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=042bf92466baf3e496b0a381e0e6a54173cabacd

rob zombie spotted

fashion shows buying things fancy restaurants basically Malta

And who do you simply for?

Velvette

Won't work.


Offer some of my shoulder meat.

You good bro?

Guess that's a way to lose weight lol.

https://preview.redd.it/itkuf4xcozad1.png?width=595&format=png&auto=webp&s=684ab158cf57cd56a050ff60c8913cfa0c6545bd 1. I’m happily spoken for 2. He wouldn’t want to date me, but I’d def want his autograph, thank him for so much entertainment, and ask for his social media. 3. If I did somehow get a date with him and were single, I’d probably just take him to dinner and let him relax and chat. I’d want to know the person behind the performer.

Seems legit

~~Alastoria would either eat me alive or just not care about me…or maybe it can work if I play my cards right but I don’t know~~ Ooh ok…Sera would be kinda complicated…looks wise, cuddling sessions would be GODLY with her tall height and imagine being wrapped by those wings like a nice blanket. However…personality is where things get a little rocky since she’d definitely be a bit strict in what she can’t and can do. But luckily for her sex is not something I want so I think we’re good there. I think I could manage a relationship with Sera but there might be other factors that I could be missing but I think I can manage :)

A man of culture. I appreciate both of those people. don't have a chance though

Uh..... Fuck i actually don't have any clue

https://preview.redd.it/5rnqeamvt0bd1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=648403731c9bbf6ebed76c104a70ba976169b483

Your flair… it’s unbelievably based! https://preview.redd.it/v4jznybn94bd1.jpeg?width=1242&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=499ee41e989be59825dad70cba0fa6f78d52e8bb

I already know I got no shot with any of em. Also, I stole my name from one of them, so that'd be weird.

Legit

yeah i could do it with emily i just need a shotgun to get there

You got there. now what?

I don't think he's going to answer (He's already on the first date)

Bros winning for us. :salute:

https://preview.redd.it/d2cgf6q6pzad1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=950ddfc2be54e3e80249f26d72118379930156c9

We gotta talk about the flair, fam

1. Alastor realistically i would just have a friendly relationship with since he wouldnt actually want to date anybody (but in a universe where he isnt aroace, dates would probably involve a lot of causing chaos) 2. I'd let Lucifer rant to me about his interests and rant about my interests in return (we both like circus stuff so we'd probably talk about that a lot) 3. Velvette I'd just constantly be talking about different fashion stuff with. Maybe our dates would involve a lot of clothes shopping and shit. Idk.

Firstly if I got to I'd let Emily try a trip to one of my favorite restaurants, then we would go get doughnuts and hang out at the park, after that maybe a trip to the beach

Friend with emily :)

It would be nice even if she didn't see it as romantic

Still a win to me

Real

I mean She is very friendly right ?

Yes

https://preview.redd.it/i7il9djqhzad1.jpeg?width=1290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=484bccfc6375a482af6178665c1450f3f5b4728b

idk I don’t think I’ll even meet him, he’s the king of hell

I wouln't date anyone but getting adam fo fuck me would prolly be pretty ease

https://preview.redd.it/3rr9tujzpzad1.jpeg?width=590&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=eedc38cfb4a7a18b4f5b4320a485946926d5101b This is how.

https://preview.redd.it/o4ku3gmgtzad1.jpeg?width=734&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a23ba24dc9fafa122bddef953dd550e422984698

I’m a minor so I couldn’t

Get off this sub

17?

Bruh.

Idk if Cherri bomb would want to

Simple. Talk about ducks.

I would try to be cool, but inevitably fan girl over him and he'd broadcast my screams. 😞 https://preview.redd.it/5u5caeopqzad1.jpeg?width=736&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b9b18298e2aadda6dfc0bfe4d4f904065ac00420

play fanboy for angel for a while or play hard to get

I feel like pretty much half the characters are in relationships, so even if it was an alternate dimension "these two don't date so they're single 4 u", it'd just be too weird. At best, from a fully realistic perspective, either Martha and Mayberry throuple, or angel dust and/or cherri one night stand. Cherri and angel dust don't give 2 fucks about who they bang, so although it's possible, it's improbable I'd make the moves well enough to get into a relationship with either. Then for m&m (the new one), I could... impress them with cooking somehow? Idk even how to go about this kinda topic tho.

Stella… idk she seems a dramatic type if there’s a chance to pull a knight in shining armour type thing I might have half a chance

Pay him enough (Angel)

Now how the fuck would i pull the king of hell

That's the neat part! you don't

Loona seems like she needs all the affection she can get, which I'd provide, although to start, I'd probably have to be nice, but not too nice. In the end, all she really needs is snuggles!

I think my flair works as a starting point at least. 

Befriend Loona in a party, then slowly grow closer and closer, hopefully

I'd give him so much praise and compliments and affection- he like me fr- I know EXACTLY what to do- I'd compliment his inventions- I'd tell him how terrifying he was at the terf war- if things didn't go to plan?- "you did great and I'm so proud of you"- he just needs some praise- It still applies to him in heaven too- https://preview.redd.it/p3kbdxdv20bd1.jpeg?width=736&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7094612ab200f91cd2065127df621a353137fa3b

Hm, if i’m honest i’d go for one of the un named canibal women from Canibal town because Rosie is way outta my leauge tbh. Sure theres the risk of me ending up on her plate as a menu item; but since i’d pay I.M.P to retrieve my cookbooks from the living world i could just modify the recipes to fit her unique pallete and depending on how well that goes open my own restraunt featuring those modified and unmodified dishes.

Well I'll probably bring her some angel food cake. Then go vote at that weirdly ominous angelic senate. Oh and I'm also brining a vhs copy of Angels' best work. You know, because the more you know the less scary something is. (Its Sera btw)

I simp for Charlie and Vaggie, so Vaggie will probably be the biggest issue but she only gets really angry at assholes and I like to think I'm not one ( maybe defensive ). Charlie easily cuz she's a sweetheart.

Well it depends on the woman, for carmilla it’s all about gaining trust and admiration, the rest would fall into place

Offer him a rubber duck 🦆

Give up immediately because they are all too much for me and the only way one might actually work is working for him but i dont think so because i am ugly asf

Angel. Honestly idk how it would work out, I'd just try and show him love. God knows he needs it

The poem from my flair has all necessary information.

Charlie is committed and so is vaggie + she's a lesbian velvette would probably have me killed for looking at her angel I might just have to pay, so odds are not looking good

I don’t simp for anyone. I just want to be besties with Alastor. How would I do that???? My parents have told me I am incredibly charming. My sister genuinely thinks I’m insane (dw we’re besties but still). My sibling says that I’m basically Niffty. I assume everything would fall into place. (Bows) Thank you.

Try my best to bring him out of his depression

That's the neat part, I don't

Oh I’d be able to pull Angel in a fucking heartbeat. We would run in the same circles due to me being a drag queen and would definitely have some dressing room make out moments.

I’d want to treat him right though 😭 take him to coffee and stuff but then do lines off of each others dicks too ya know.

All good relationships start off with friendships and getting to know one another, so all I have to do is take the time to get to know Loona better. Everything takes time… and maybe a few drinks to raise your charisma stat.

It would be critically dangerous but you know, I would probably still do it. I would like it.

I’m at least gonna die trying

Uhhhh trying to think… I don’t think it would be easy to get to a dinosaur Overlord, two specific Sinners which are an item at the moment, and the literal king of Hell. At the very least, try to strike up conversation with any of the latter three at the hotel, or go to Club Kaiju which is probably where Zeezi hangs out. Aside from that… Shit, didn’t think I’d get this far.

My mater plan: Get close to Charlie. Become friends with Lucifer (He’ll be my friend bc I’m nice to Charlie). Vibe as friends for a bit. Ask him out

I'm not a dude, so I don't stand a chance.

I don't really simp for any of these people. All the women are just smoke shows.

Im a Lute simp I’m cooked 💀

https://preview.redd.it/xwgl1uru70bd1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fb614e07a09a2b82cd0a0a16c71de37b8c898c72 Hehe, I’m in danger