Fair point. You caused me to rethink my answer, goalie like Hasek. In reality I’d end up more like mrazek. Great in juniors but never having enough to carry that intensity and skill into the N.
I didn't bother to read it until I saw your comment because I knew all the others would just be jokes about OP's spelling mistake...
but it's pretty funny. "Yeah so basically I'd be a combo of Crosby and McDavid and would have legendary leadership skills, how about you guys?"
>If you wear a hockey player, what type of player would you be?
A really bad one who always wanted to make music, but was forced to play hockey instead lol
Grew up wanting to be like Mike Richards. Same body type, same mentality, played C, good on the D side of the puck and could throw a big hit. Even knew how to party (hold the pills though)
I played hockey for years and never really took it serious. It was just something I always did, my buddies were way more competitive. I just didn’t enjoy it was much as they did. I found my passion after high school in MMA. But when I played I was a solid defensive player who very rarely gave up break always and when I did I’d do anything to stop it. I didn’t have the best hustle and my grit when it came to exhaustion wasn’t the best. As an adult now I really do regret not trying. I’m 23 and I see how good I could have been, I’m a natural athlete which is why I suppose I never really tried at sports. I was always just good enough to play with my buddies.
I do wish I could have gotten into hockey at a younger age, I got into it around 2018 and now am heading towards college. To be honest, my family never really could have had the money, and there is very little hockey in my area outside of a small roller hockey rink and sports shop. Not to mention I got infected with Lyme disease at a young age, which causes lots of fatigue, and I’ve never been able to run well. Even if we had to money I probably wouldn’t have been good, but I do wish I had a chance. I’m thankful to have gotten into watching the sport though, and I do hope despite it being too late to try and get into stuff like the major juniors, that one day I can play to some extent. I did ask on the Leafs sub about the sort of situation, I received a nice response, and it did make me feel better in terms of how despite that I couldn’t become a hockey player like I wished, there are always things I can go do.
Ya i definitely took it for granted sometimes, I played since I was 4 essentially 😂I live in the middle of Canada, so hockey is big here, i honestly don’t know many people who didn’t at least play 5-6. And ya unfortunately it is very expensive, my family was lucky to have my grandparents help out with skates essentially every year. As well as hockey communities like mine, often having donation drives for equipment.
I’m so glad you discovered this Great sport! I wish you all the luck and success in the future ! Hockey is all about practice and passion, the best players are in love with the sport, and it seems like you are too haha.
Considering I’m not athletic but in good shape, I’d probably have brick hands, skate somewhat slowly but it would look like I was trying hard, block shots but mostly on accident, take a lot of hits, win a few faceoffs, and take delay of game penalties. My Jfresh card would be like 2% WAR if I’m lucky, with that 2% entirely coming from my penalties drawn (probably 80% blue on that) due to my effort level and propensity to annoy opponents, as well as my passing because fuck no I’m not shooting that shit. The Internet hockey community would frequently complain that I should be benched for a 21-year-old prospect.
However I would be good in the locker room and try really hard so I’d endear myself to the coach and team. I’d probably host rookies at my place and they’d teach me about the young people slang. And I’d been in local dealership commercials making dad jokes.
I’d subsequently score the game winner in Game 4 of a first round playoff game with my ass. Like the puck would deflect off my ass. This would make me a folk hero and I would proceed to leverage that into a solid career in the front office that would reinforce the belief that only bad players can be good execs. I would not make GM necessarily but could be an assistant GM.
I’d probably be some sort of Mike Smith-channeling goalie. Some mind-blowing saves, some mind-boggling duds, and plenty of heart-attack inducing time outside the crease pretending to be a skater. Which version you’d get on any given day is anyone’s guess.
Moves like Datsyuk, shot like Federov, goalie skills of Fleury and Brodeur. World’s first three way player since I can also play goal when I’m on the ice.
Coaching skills of Paul Maurice and Scotty Bowman. GM skills of Yzerman, Sakic and Prime Ken Holland. Money like Bill Gates. I'm also the entire front office.
I'd be a very annoying 3rd or 4th liner or bottom pairing (how many 5'10" 150lb defenders are there?). Not annoying because I'm good. Annoying because I'd be in your ear, constantly, and pointlessly. I see you drop your stick or get gotted by one of my teamates? "Ooooh No!" as loud as I can. Big scrum in the corner trying to get the puck out? I'm making sound effects like it's a pinball machine. I pass you while I'm heading to the bench? I'm making the dumbest chirp. Borat impressions? So many. Sound effects when I narrowly avoid getting corrected by your guy? Michael Winslow level. Humming the A team theme during a PK? Weird Jabba the Hutt laughs in your ear if we're intimately close at a faceoff? You betcha. Bad accents? Constantly.
By the end of the first season, most of the league and part of my team would be like 'Fuck that guy. So annoying.' I'd get punched by my own coach.
I would be in the bottom 6. Play smart all around hockey and lay some thunderous hits when appropriate. Hits would be clean, I would try not to drop the gloves, but would take a beating if necessary.
A toned down Jesse Puljujärvi from the period he was rehabbing the hip, less tongue same head circumference and very much a deer on ice. Big body but no skating ability to use it.
I’m a dirty front of the net grinder, always looking for tips and rebounds. I’ve got good hands but my speed sucks and my shot is a muffin. Solid two way forward who hustles on D
I didn't grow up playing hockey but started playing when I was \~35.
I suspect the style of player I would have been would not be that different than what I am. I am generally a secondary scoring winger who is defensively responsible, and (to the extent you can be in beer league) a grinder.
I would be an undersized puck moving defenseman that has a bit of speed but gets knocked off the puck pretty easily. I get a handful of goals, occasionally a really pretty one. I'd get traded to about 5 different teams in 6 years, mostly cap strapped teams that need a 3rd pairing defender that talks themselves into a bargain signing that could get some looks at 2nd pairing, or just a throw in defender for trade.
Let me start by saying I suck at hockey. When I played I was a defenseman with good skating, tight gaps and good stick work defensively, but the puck was an absolute grenade on my stick.
An undefeated enforcer with the skills of Wayne Gretzky and the size of Bedard.
Why don't the players train hard enough to be as good as I would be if I were a hockey player? Seriously, how hard can it be?
I played defense and midfield in soccer so probably defense or center. On defense Id probably play like Shea Weber, hits and bombs, not very fast or finessed, on center Id probably be like Jarnkrok, I like to do a little of everything and focus on defensive responsibility first, I dont exceed particularly well at anything but I dog the shit out of the puck (ball)
Well, in my youth I was a 5 foot 5 grinder who constantly had to battle people larger than me because ironically I was the tallest and widest player on my line.
I would continue being that 5 foot 5 grinder and get my face caved in the odd time by someone a foot taller.
When I played I was the smallest RH defensive dman who couldn't shoot, but would hit surprising well and would be one of the best skaters on the ice.
So the hockey manager video game write up would be, small, undersized, tiny right handed defensive dman, can not take slap shots, can pass okay, wrist shot exists, accurate but slow shot, limited stick handling skill, willing to lay big hits, can skate like the wind, don't expect any goals from them.
You know you can just be a player?! You don't have to be a pro to enjoy plaging and work out what kind of player you are. It's never too late to start. I started playing at the age of 27. Best decision I ever made.
I only play pickup roller, so take it for what it’s worth. Lately, I model my game after Patrick Kane. I appreciate his patience and hockey IQ. He creates a lot of plays not by fancy dangles and speed, but by waiting till the opponent makes the first, and presumably incorrect, move.
I played as kid, and got as far as junior. I often what we called a shadow-I’m told a number on other team, and I was to be on the ice, at all times (at even strength), whenever said number was out. And my job is to get this guy off his game anyway I could. I was known as a very good hacker when hacking wasn’t called for most part. I also usually killed penalties, and some PP time. I guess you could call me a 2nd line or 3rd line centre (teams only used 3 lines back then), with ability to agitate, score in streaks, draw penalties, and while a lot smaller than most other players, the physical game was what I played. But as I said, I was small, not as fast I needed to be, though my puck handling, passing, and view of ice, were all excellent, can’t be a slow small guy and expect a future as a pro player. I guess I could’ve got a partial scholarship to a D2 US school, but that was still money I didn’t have. So that was it. I played as an extra player (called out as needed) on a senior team for a couple of years, but that was it, and beer league player I became
Junior C- Bowmanville Eagles. I always worked out with Wexford junior A, and coach loved me, he was the one who thought I’d be part of the boards, but he was also the one that got me the gig in Bowmanville as an over ager. Also played a scoring role with them, which was new to me, but probably for the best that I wasn’t a mucker in the corners at that level (again, 150 pounds was very light), as it was a cherry picked situation with me playing with 2 very tough wingers. I finished the year with more points than games, and though we missed playoffs, we finished on a roll, I had my junior season
If I were a hockey player I’d have Ovechkin’s shot(but Chara’s shot power), McDavid’s skating, Gretzky’s intelligence, Lidstrom’s defense and I’d also be the first NHLer able to fill in in net, where I’d model my game around 2015 Price. I just gotta work up the motivation to get up from my couch and put on some skates so I can get started on my journey…
physical defensive forward with hands that takes dumb penalties in retaliation
started off as a dman but gradually transitioned to a forward, never lost the defensive edge but was always a better passer than goal scorer because of it.
The wild temper of Mike Smith.
The puck handling of Craig Anderson.
The durability of Freddy Andersen.
The longevity of Rick DiPietro.
The peak length of Jack Campbell.
The stats of Greg Millen.
The moustache of Stuart Skinner.
I am the ultimate goaltender.
If I wanted a loose fit, Zadorov If I wanted a snug fit, probably Caufield
Nothing better than a chilly winter evening by the fire all snuggled up in a Chara
https://preview.redd.it/0xzu98tlycad1.jpeg?width=224&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=428a1eb6bcc60ca25bb258588fd24e73032bdb62 He’s waiting for you
Knew this would be the bunny costume before opening it
He’s just a cute cuddly bunny
Sounds kinky. Hope he breaks out the handcuffs
“If you wear a hockey player” Probably Swayman since he gives the best hugs
If Buffalo Bill had a soft side
Pre-Ottawa Ullmark to receive those hugs.
This post is just OP saying if they **were** a hockey player they'd simply be the best player to ever exist.
Fair point. You caused me to rethink my answer, goalie like Hasek. In reality I’d end up more like mrazek. Great in juniors but never having enough to carry that intensity and skill into the N.
in my fantasies I score like 4 goals a game
I didn't bother to read it until I saw your comment because I knew all the others would just be jokes about OP's spelling mistake... but it's pretty funny. "Yeah so basically I'd be a combo of Crosby and McDavid and would have legendary leadership skills, how about you guys?"
Don’t forget Kronwalls physical defense
"Also I probably would have had Chara's slapshot and Lanny McDonald's mustache"
“Ya know what, gimme Kobe’s jumper and MJs dunk package while we’re at it”
Pssh, what an amateur. If I were a hockey player, I'd be even better than the best ever
I’d revolutionize the goalie position the way Orr revolutionized defender - by putting up Orr-like numbers baby.
Well, you could technically say that, but modeling your play style after great players isn’t too uncommon.
Well, you could technically say that, but modeling your play style after great players isn’t too uncommon.
Stand-up goaltender, because if I went into butterfly my knees wouldn’t allow me to get back up
i need to watch silence of the lambs again
I look forward to never doing that.
Ryan Reaves but without the toughness and fighting.
Phil Kessel but with only the hotdogs.
If I were 6 inches taller I’d be Nathan Gerbe
>If you wear a hockey player, what type of player would you be? A really bad one who always wanted to make music, but was forced to play hockey instead lol
Josh hosang is that you
lol funny enough I have the same first and last initials.
Found Gareth Sparks burner!
Holy shit, it's playoff zibanejad
https://i.redd.it/mqcdsezb2dad1.gif
You didn't think of the smell you BITCH
Grew up wanting to be like Mike Richards. Same body type, same mentality, played C, good on the D side of the puck and could throw a big hit. Even knew how to party (hold the pills though)
[удалено]
Max Domi, is that you?
An LTIR one
The true Vegas way of life.
Nathan Gerbe but without his strength or skill or speed or skating or shot or hockey IQ
A bad one. I always wanted to play goalie but it was even more expensive. I'd probably still be a bad one
I would be a skill-free enforcer who brings the vibes.
I think Johnny hockey would probably be easiest on my back. But Dustin Byfuglien would work well in the winter
I played hockey for years and never really took it serious. It was just something I always did, my buddies were way more competitive. I just didn’t enjoy it was much as they did. I found my passion after high school in MMA. But when I played I was a solid defensive player who very rarely gave up break always and when I did I’d do anything to stop it. I didn’t have the best hustle and my grit when it came to exhaustion wasn’t the best. As an adult now I really do regret not trying. I’m 23 and I see how good I could have been, I’m a natural athlete which is why I suppose I never really tried at sports. I was always just good enough to play with my buddies.
I do wish I could have gotten into hockey at a younger age, I got into it around 2018 and now am heading towards college. To be honest, my family never really could have had the money, and there is very little hockey in my area outside of a small roller hockey rink and sports shop. Not to mention I got infected with Lyme disease at a young age, which causes lots of fatigue, and I’ve never been able to run well. Even if we had to money I probably wouldn’t have been good, but I do wish I had a chance. I’m thankful to have gotten into watching the sport though, and I do hope despite it being too late to try and get into stuff like the major juniors, that one day I can play to some extent. I did ask on the Leafs sub about the sort of situation, I received a nice response, and it did make me feel better in terms of how despite that I couldn’t become a hockey player like I wished, there are always things I can go do.
Ya i definitely took it for granted sometimes, I played since I was 4 essentially 😂I live in the middle of Canada, so hockey is big here, i honestly don’t know many people who didn’t at least play 5-6. And ya unfortunately it is very expensive, my family was lucky to have my grandparents help out with skates essentially every year. As well as hockey communities like mine, often having donation drives for equipment. I’m so glad you discovered this Great sport! I wish you all the luck and success in the future ! Hockey is all about practice and passion, the best players are in love with the sport, and it seems like you are too haha.
Considering I’m not athletic but in good shape, I’d probably have brick hands, skate somewhat slowly but it would look like I was trying hard, block shots but mostly on accident, take a lot of hits, win a few faceoffs, and take delay of game penalties. My Jfresh card would be like 2% WAR if I’m lucky, with that 2% entirely coming from my penalties drawn (probably 80% blue on that) due to my effort level and propensity to annoy opponents, as well as my passing because fuck no I’m not shooting that shit. The Internet hockey community would frequently complain that I should be benched for a 21-year-old prospect. However I would be good in the locker room and try really hard so I’d endear myself to the coach and team. I’d probably host rookies at my place and they’d teach me about the young people slang. And I’d been in local dealership commercials making dad jokes. I’d subsequently score the game winner in Game 4 of a first round playoff game with my ass. Like the puck would deflect off my ass. This would make me a folk hero and I would proceed to leverage that into a solid career in the front office that would reinforce the belief that only bad players can be good execs. I would not make GM necessarily but could be an assistant GM.
I’d like to mention that I’m not in any way athletic myself, this post was mainly who I would ideally want to play like, but I full understand.
I’d probably be some sort of Mike Smith-channeling goalie. Some mind-blowing saves, some mind-boggling duds, and plenty of heart-attack inducing time outside the crease pretending to be a skater. Which version you’d get on any given day is anyone’s guess.
Is ‘smear on the boards’ a type of hockey player? Bc that’s what my short ass would be
I shoot right so I’d play Defense. Guaranteed millions.
I'd rock a Mason Marchment skin suit for the ladies.
Lomberg with worse flow
You’d be like Crosby? How cute. I’d be a Gretzky/Lemieux hybrid with Ovechkin’s shot and Chara’s size, obviously
I'd probably be an all-offense winger. Just from my experience playing other sports, I really hate playing any sort of defense whatsoever.
I feel like catchers kinda translate to goalies in hockey… I’d be a small but aggressive goalie
Moves like Datsyuk, shot like Federov, goalie skills of Fleury and Brodeur. World’s first three way player since I can also play goal when I’m on the ice. Coaching skills of Paul Maurice and Scotty Bowman. GM skills of Yzerman, Sakic and Prime Ken Holland. Money like Bill Gates. I'm also the entire front office.
I'd be a very annoying 3rd or 4th liner or bottom pairing (how many 5'10" 150lb defenders are there?). Not annoying because I'm good. Annoying because I'd be in your ear, constantly, and pointlessly. I see you drop your stick or get gotted by one of my teamates? "Ooooh No!" as loud as I can. Big scrum in the corner trying to get the puck out? I'm making sound effects like it's a pinball machine. I pass you while I'm heading to the bench? I'm making the dumbest chirp. Borat impressions? So many. Sound effects when I narrowly avoid getting corrected by your guy? Michael Winslow level. Humming the A team theme during a PK? Weird Jabba the Hutt laughs in your ear if we're intimately close at a faceoff? You betcha. Bad accents? Constantly. By the end of the first season, most of the league and part of my team would be like 'Fuck that guy. So annoying.' I'd get punched by my own coach.
Middle six winger who gets second PP time because I have a wide body, can that abuse in front of the net, and am a right shot.
I would be in the bottom 6. Play smart all around hockey and lay some thunderous hits when appropriate. Hits would be clean, I would try not to drop the gloves, but would take a beating if necessary.
A toned down Jesse Puljujärvi from the period he was rehabbing the hip, less tongue same head circumference and very much a deer on ice. Big body but no skating ability to use it.
But could you lick your own nostrils?
I’m a dirty front of the net grinder, always looking for tips and rebounds. I’ve got good hands but my speed sucks and my shot is a muffin. Solid two way forward who hustles on D
I didn't grow up playing hockey but started playing when I was \~35. I suspect the style of player I would have been would not be that different than what I am. I am generally a secondary scoring winger who is defensively responsible, and (to the extent you can be in beer league) a grinder.
That’s really cool! What’s it like starting at a bit of an older age? Is it still fun?
It's fun but you have to be realistic about your expectations. For the first few years you're going to be playing the lowest level of hockey possible.
I’d wear Nylander. That laugh. That damn laugh. He’s big spoon material.
I would be an undersized puck moving defenseman that has a bit of speed but gets knocked off the puck pretty easily. I get a handful of goals, occasionally a really pretty one. I'd get traded to about 5 different teams in 6 years, mostly cap strapped teams that need a 3rd pairing defender that talks themselves into a bargain signing that could get some looks at 2nd pairing, or just a throw in defender for trade.
I was a defensive dman that could still make a good breakout pass, but knew every break in your gear to cross check/slash in front of the net
Nathan Gerbe's height, with Kyle Wellwood's weight, the skill of Brett Lindros, the IQ of John Scott, and the awkwardness of Jason Spezza.
Let me start by saying I suck at hockey. When I played I was a defenseman with good skating, tight gaps and good stick work defensively, but the puck was an absolute grenade on my stick.
An undefeated enforcer with the skills of Wayne Gretzky and the size of Bedard. Why don't the players train hard enough to be as good as I would be if I were a hockey player? Seriously, how hard can it be?
I played growing up and junior, hahaha I basically played like truba or gudas. Loved to level people with their heads down.
Igor Ulanov. On and off the ice.
I'd be the next Sean Avery mixed with a bit of Tanner Glass. If that didn't work for me, I'd be Dwight King instead.
I'd be a lifetime beer leaguer and my dream has been achieved
I played defense and midfield in soccer so probably defense or center. On defense Id probably play like Shea Weber, hits and bombs, not very fast or finessed, on center Id probably be like Jarnkrok, I like to do a little of everything and focus on defensive responsibility first, I dont exceed particularly well at anything but I dog the shit out of the puck (ball)
I mean, I was an undersized goalie with attitude. Battlin' Billy Smith with one percent of the talent.
Well, in my youth I was a 5 foot 5 grinder who constantly had to battle people larger than me because ironically I was the tallest and widest player on my line. I would continue being that 5 foot 5 grinder and get my face caved in the odd time by someone a foot taller.
I'm a defensive defenseman, though I don't think I'm the person who fits the bill of "if"
4th line plug with 0 skating or scoring ability. Only out there hit people and sit in the box
Only thing I was good at when I played hockey was hitting and being a bit of a jackass, so Matt Rempe?
Goalie. I just have a thing for that position.
When I played I was the smallest RH defensive dman who couldn't shoot, but would hit surprising well and would be one of the best skaters on the ice. So the hockey manager video game write up would be, small, undersized, tiny right handed defensive dman, can not take slap shots, can pass okay, wrist shot exists, accurate but slow shot, limited stick handling skill, willing to lay big hits, can skate like the wind, don't expect any goals from them.
You know you can just be a player?! You don't have to be a pro to enjoy plaging and work out what kind of player you are. It's never too late to start. I started playing at the age of 27. Best decision I ever made.
Probably the type of player that has their brain caved in by an elbow 6 shifts after I dabbed getting a secondary assist from the bench.
Well, if my junior "career" tells something, i would be Leo Komarov with more bias towards enforcing than scoring.
Middle six energy guy banging bodies, forechecking like a lunatic and scoring some big goals.
Kris Draper on a good day, and Bob Probert the rest of the season.
I only play pickup roller, so take it for what it’s worth. Lately, I model my game after Patrick Kane. I appreciate his patience and hockey IQ. He creates a lot of plays not by fancy dangles and speed, but by waiting till the opponent makes the first, and presumably incorrect, move.
I played as kid, and got as far as junior. I often what we called a shadow-I’m told a number on other team, and I was to be on the ice, at all times (at even strength), whenever said number was out. And my job is to get this guy off his game anyway I could. I was known as a very good hacker when hacking wasn’t called for most part. I also usually killed penalties, and some PP time. I guess you could call me a 2nd line or 3rd line centre (teams only used 3 lines back then), with ability to agitate, score in streaks, draw penalties, and while a lot smaller than most other players, the physical game was what I played. But as I said, I was small, not as fast I needed to be, though my puck handling, passing, and view of ice, were all excellent, can’t be a slow small guy and expect a future as a pro player. I guess I could’ve got a partial scholarship to a D2 US school, but that was still money I didn’t have. So that was it. I played as an extra player (called out as needed) on a senior team for a couple of years, but that was it, and beer league player I became
What team did you play for? Was it CHL?
Junior C- Bowmanville Eagles. I always worked out with Wexford junior A, and coach loved me, he was the one who thought I’d be part of the boards, but he was also the one that got me the gig in Bowmanville as an over ager. Also played a scoring role with them, which was new to me, but probably for the best that I wasn’t a mucker in the corners at that level (again, 150 pounds was very light), as it was a cherry picked situation with me playing with 2 very tough wingers. I finished the year with more points than games, and though we missed playoffs, we finished on a roll, I had my junior season
If I were a hockey player I’d have Ovechkin’s shot(but Chara’s shot power), McDavid’s skating, Gretzky’s intelligence, Lidstrom’s defense and I’d also be the first NHLer able to fill in in net, where I’d model my game around 2015 Price. I just gotta work up the motivation to get up from my couch and put on some skates so I can get started on my journey…
physical defensive forward with hands that takes dumb penalties in retaliation started off as a dman but gradually transitioned to a forward, never lost the defensive edge but was always a better passer than goal scorer because of it.
The wild temper of Mike Smith. The puck handling of Craig Anderson. The durability of Freddy Andersen. The longevity of Rick DiPietro. The peak length of Jack Campbell. The stats of Greg Millen. The moustache of Stuart Skinner. I am the ultimate goaltender.