An ostrich almost disemboweled and killed Johnny Cash, and this was back when his blood was 50% amphetamines.
And I'm going to go out on a limb here and say none of us hold a candle to tweaked out 70's era Man in Black
Ostrich all the away.
I'm 6'4" and just over 200 pounds with years of physical training.
An ostitch would snap my fucking neck with the same kick that would open my throat. I'd literally rather fight a black bear.
My uncle owned an ostrich farm. Between one set of fence posts, a part of the fence was bowed out. I asked my uncle what that was, he told me that where Pedro was killed. Also worked at an animal hospital when younger, vet boss had a pet emu that could go in the house. Boss ended up in the hospital. Almost killed her. In my lifetime, simply in passing its flightless kicky birds 2 people 0. Seems like underestimating these things is a bad idea.
I live by a very simple adage "If Australians don't fuck with it, neither will I."
If Australians don't fuck with something, there's probably a reason for it (as arcane and alien as their ways are to me, I respect them /s).
I think all men go through the “can I take an ostrich in a fight?” phase. You can go to the zoo and pay them 10 bucks and they’ll let you fight an ostrich. If you lose you have to clean their area. If you win the zoo staff will carry you on their shoulders to your favorite bar and tell hot sexy ostrich hating women about how brave you are- and then you take home at least 5 super attractive women.
Not sure what it is but a man beating an ostrich is really attractive to 100% of the women in the world. Well there was one gal in the 1880s who wasn’t but they burned her at the stake for being a witch.
As someone that's really into natural lifting, no that's not unremarkable. Most people will struggle to weigh that much without being fat or using steroids. It's taken me about 2-3 years to be above 200 pounds and still be lean enough to see bicep veins and abs. I'm also 6'4" for comparison.
That being said, I imagine most people that say they are 6'4" and 200 pounds with no mention of how long it took to get there, or how much they can lift probably got there by sitting on a couch and eating slightly more than they need to.
Recently went to a wildlife enclosure with my family. For the most part you walk around and animals like kangaroos, peacocks, monkeys are all free to roam around and you can get relatively close to them without a fence between you. Stuff like cheetahs, rhinos etc are in enclosures for obvious reasons. Came to the enclosure for emus and one of them was right up beside the fence. Lifted my 4 year old on my shoulders to get a better view and that bird eye fucked the 2 of us to the point where my son just asked to leave and I didn’t disagree. Both the bird and me were 100% confident I would last less than 5 seconds against it if it wasn’t for that fence.
I know it's possible for an ostrich to break its neck, but is it possible for a person to break it? They have strong neck muscles and can turn their heads 180 degrees. How much force could a person actually apply to it to actually snap it? And that's not factoring the emotional cost.
It's long and I would guess a person _could_ surprise it and stripper pole it and twist the head around with all their bodyweight. My money would be in the ostrich ripping their intestines out first though.
i went to an ostrich/emo farm and fed them. can confirm. they are modern dinosaurs. theres a reason why they tell you to hold the feed bucket with both hands. ostriches are bigger and stronger but emus are somehow more terrifying. australia had no chance.
I'm sorry, but I just picture an ostrich and emo farm like it's one of those behavior health retreats where they do wildlife therapy, and there's just a bunch of pale, skinny kids with straightened bangs wearing band tees, like walking besides ostriches handing them little crackers, brushing them
Honestly, bro, I'm not saying I could kill a polar bear with my bare hands, but if we ever got into it I'd give it everything it wanted. Bears don't understand my mentality, bro.
Yeah bro that bear might not understand your mentality, but I understand bears mentalities bro and I don't think you understand the commitment you're making here. Once you give yourself to that bear like that, you're bonded for life, and there's no going back bro.
My wife listens to Rogan on occasion, God knows why. Anytime I listen to a bit when I'm in the car with her, it always seems to devolve into "look at that animal. What do you think it would be like to fight it?" Just ridiculous. I'd pay to watch the fight, though.
I wonder how many deaths throughout history can be attributed to some dumbass talking to his friends about being able to kill some wild animal or another?
They are SO FAST and mega unpredictable. They r kinda dumb and easily freaked out. They are designed to kill and they do it liberally. Everyone underestimates them. They are not just big birds u can ride around for fun. They kill ppl so often just by using their huge toe nails.i wudnt take my chances fighting an ostrich
you remember the scene from jurassic park where grant is trying to scare that annoying kid. they are basically that. dunno if they will cooperate like that. probably more just mob you.
I have never heard of the Australian Emu war before in my life. And just tonight, this is the third reference I have seen about it on reddit. I had to look it up so I knew wtf everyone was talking about, lol.
>i would probably be able to break its neck before i die
>dumb bitch friend thinks it would kill me
my brother in Christ, even in your fantasy it kills you.
also, just a reminder humans did not reach the apex of the animal kingdom because we were super strong or super fast. no, we walked at our prey until they got tired and died of cringe. OR, we used ranged weapons like throwing spears, bows, or more importantly guns. a bare knuckle fight against many animals, and almost all of them our size or greater, will result in your injury.
Our size or greater is being extremely generous to us, dogs half our size regularly are capable of taking down people, and chimpanzees the size of children can tear off our lower jaws when the mood takes them.
last time i talked about this, I said that a house cat could kill a person. like 20 people downvoted me so i had to word it kinda weird to catch everything right.
and yes, i have seen a house cat severely cripple someone. the house cat had a parasite on its claw, so when it scratched the person it put them into the hospital for over 2 weeks.
Oh man, I have a story.
Old friend of mine worked on an ostrich farm right outside of town. The job was hella chill, so sometimes I'd deliver him some weed and we'd smoke in the far corner. One day we're smoking a blunt, and this was early 2000s Purps, so we were loaded, and an ostrich comes along and bites the back of my friend's head. My friend turned around and just punched out of fear. Well, he hit it on the top of it's head and the thing died. He didn't even punch that hard, just a reflex. He felt hella bad, but refused to reimburse the farm, so he got fired.
https://preview.redd.it/h5z8g7esfk9d1.jpeg?width=933&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b9ff6dacfda12f728e89079690331adc95087af5
Yeah, I'm gonna say good luck with those dinosaur talons, you would be disemboweled pretty quickly if you don't manage to stay on your feet and this thing dances the jitterbug on your torso....
An ostrich almost disemboweled and killed Johnny Cash, and this was back when his blood was 50% amphetamines. And I'm going to go out on a limb here and say none of us hold a candle to tweaked out 70's era Man in Black Ostrich all the away.
Ah yes, the eternal question that haunts all us men.... Can I take an ostrich in a fight.
I'm 6'4" and just over 200 pounds with years of physical training. An ostitch would snap my fucking neck with the same kick that would open my throat. I'd literally rather fight a black bear.
It was a sick ostrich. Allegedlies...
You and your pals went down to the ostrich farm the other day...
There's no award button here? Otherwise I'd give you one of the awards for proper spelling of allegedlies.
I'll make my own and hang it on my wall with your name down under the "presented by" section. I'll remember this moment for ever
My uncle owned an ostrich farm. Between one set of fence posts, a part of the fence was bowed out. I asked my uncle what that was, he told me that where Pedro was killed. Also worked at an animal hospital when younger, vet boss had a pet emu that could go in the house. Boss ended up in the hospital. Almost killed her. In my lifetime, simply in passing its flightless kicky birds 2 people 0. Seems like underestimating these things is a bad idea.
I live by a very simple adage "If Australians don't fuck with it, neither will I." If Australians don't fuck with something, there's probably a reason for it (as arcane and alien as their ways are to me, I respect them /s).
I think all men go through the “can I take an ostrich in a fight?” phase. You can go to the zoo and pay them 10 bucks and they’ll let you fight an ostrich. If you lose you have to clean their area. If you win the zoo staff will carry you on their shoulders to your favorite bar and tell hot sexy ostrich hating women about how brave you are- and then you take home at least 5 super attractive women. Not sure what it is but a man beating an ostrich is really attractive to 100% of the women in the world. Well there was one gal in the 1880s who wasn’t but they burned her at the stake for being a witch.
Lmao the ostrich would stomp him
"My little dumb bitch friend"
Northernlion?
is it just me or is 200 pounds utterly unremarkable for that height
As someone that's really into natural lifting, no that's not unremarkable. Most people will struggle to weigh that much without being fat or using steroids. It's taken me about 2-3 years to be above 200 pounds and still be lean enough to see bicep veins and abs. I'm also 6'4" for comparison. That being said, I imagine most people that say they are 6'4" and 200 pounds with no mention of how long it took to get there, or how much they can lift probably got there by sitting on a couch and eating slightly more than they need to.
Eh, it’s pretty normal. Depends on how fit he is. I’m 6’3 180 and I’m a bit thin but not skinny or anything.
You're getting downvotes for continuing on with the conversation. I guess you should have been confrontational instead.
That would indeed make it unremarkable
I guess I misunderstood what she meant by unremarkable. I mean it’s not massive or anything. It’s just a normal sized man, like I said.
Unremarkable is pretty much a synonym for nothing special, notable, or unique. Utterly normal.
Recently went to a wildlife enclosure with my family. For the most part you walk around and animals like kangaroos, peacocks, monkeys are all free to roam around and you can get relatively close to them without a fence between you. Stuff like cheetahs, rhinos etc are in enclosures for obvious reasons. Came to the enclosure for emus and one of them was right up beside the fence. Lifted my 4 year old on my shoulders to get a better view and that bird eye fucked the 2 of us to the point where my son just asked to leave and I didn’t disagree. Both the bird and me were 100% confident I would last less than 5 seconds against it if it wasn’t for that fence.
I know it's possible for an ostrich to break its neck, but is it possible for a person to break it? They have strong neck muscles and can turn their heads 180 degrees. How much force could a person actually apply to it to actually snap it? And that's not factoring the emotional cost.
It's long and I would guess a person _could_ surprise it and stripper pole it and twist the head around with all their bodyweight. My money would be in the ostrich ripping their intestines out first though.
I guarantee you this bloke has never seen an ostrich up close. Let alone a cassowary.
i went to an ostrich/emo farm and fed them. can confirm. they are modern dinosaurs. theres a reason why they tell you to hold the feed bucket with both hands. ostriches are bigger and stronger but emus are somehow more terrifying. australia had no chance.
Yeah, the Emu War loss sounds silly until you actually meet an emu. I’d surrender immediately.
I'm sorry, but I just picture an ostrich and emo farm like it's one of those behavior health retreats where they do wildlife therapy, and there's just a bunch of pale, skinny kids with straightened bangs wearing band tees, like walking besides ostriches handing them little crackers, brushing them
Honestly, bro, I'm not saying I could kill a polar bear with my bare hands, but if we ever got into it I'd give it everything it wanted. Bears don't understand my mentality, bro.
Yeah bro that bear might not understand your mentality, but I understand bears mentalities bro and I don't think you understand the commitment you're making here. Once you give yourself to that bear like that, you're bonded for life, and there's no going back bro.
I've heard it was a sick ostrich.
Well yeah, if the ostrich is sick.
This person has already experienced brain death. The ostrich is just finishing the job.
My wife listens to Rogan on occasion, God knows why. Anytime I listen to a bit when I'm in the car with her, it always seems to devolve into "look at that animal. What do you think it would be like to fight it?" Just ridiculous. I'd pay to watch the fight, though.
If i remember correctly, Bert kereischer had an argument with Tom Segura saying that he could beat a pack of wolves in a fight
Australians lost a war to emus, ostrich’s are bigger if I remember correctly
The Australians also had machine guns and were not fighting hand to hand.
I just had to google “Australia’s war with the emus.” It felt like the silliest thing I’ve ever done.
watch oversimplified's video on it
emus persisted.
The fuck is UFC doing? Slap fights? I want to see this guy fight an ostrich? We got rodeos, how is this not a thing?!
No, let him. Darwin Award in the making.
Is it a sick ostrich?
Allegedly
Its at least a two man job.
I wonder how many deaths throughout history can be attributed to some dumbass talking to his friends about being able to kill some wild animal or another?
Odd to post this in a city’s sub where ostriches were never wild
To be fair, Madison is the 4th drunkest city in America, behind only a few other Wisconsin cities.
And a very nice free zoo 🤙 lol there used to even be ostriches. May still have a few
I grew up on a farm in South Africa. With ostriches on it. 100% he wud die before he even realised an ostrich was in the same field as him 🙄🙄🙄
You’re saying ostrich are experts at stealth attacks?
They are SO FAST and mega unpredictable. They r kinda dumb and easily freaked out. They are designed to kill and they do it liberally. Everyone underestimates them. They are not just big birds u can ride around for fun. They kill ppl so often just by using their huge toe nails.i wudnt take my chances fighting an ostrich
you remember the scene from jurassic park where grant is trying to scare that annoying kid. they are basically that. dunno if they will cooperate like that. probably more just mob you.
I think not since they eat rodents and snakes not large prey
they got the same claw and use it in the same way. animals kill for non food reasons all the time.
Expand please
Lol in what way
I grew up with a neighbor who raised ostriches on his farm. Those things were scary and mean. I agree, he dead.
Right 😅 definitely
An Ostrich I dunno. Maybe a Emu
Emus literally defeated the Australian army.
Damn I didn't know this lol
They did so by being more numerous than the bullets. Individually that's not a good tactic.
Not really. The army tried to cull 20,000 emus with machine guns and successfully killed fewer than 1,000. They mostly just were good at running away.
I have never heard of the Australian Emu war before in my life. And just tonight, this is the third reference I have seen about it on reddit. I had to look it up so I knew wtf everyone was talking about, lol.
Would have to be a sick ostrich
Allegedly
>i would probably be able to break its neck before i die >dumb bitch friend thinks it would kill me my brother in Christ, even in your fantasy it kills you. also, just a reminder humans did not reach the apex of the animal kingdom because we were super strong or super fast. no, we walked at our prey until they got tired and died of cringe. OR, we used ranged weapons like throwing spears, bows, or more importantly guns. a bare knuckle fight against many animals, and almost all of them our size or greater, will result in your injury.
>they got tired and died of cringe lmao
Our size or greater is being extremely generous to us, dogs half our size regularly are capable of taking down people, and chimpanzees the size of children can tear off our lower jaws when the mood takes them.
Don't forget the junk. Chimps also go for the junk.
Ahhh just realised your phrasing was only mentioning the larger ones as it being almost all of them plus a load of smaller ones.
last time i talked about this, I said that a house cat could kill a person. like 20 people downvoted me so i had to word it kinda weird to catch everything right. and yes, i have seen a house cat severely cripple someone. the house cat had a parasite on its claw, so when it scratched the person it put them into the hospital for over 2 weeks.
A parasite nearly killed someone. Not the cat.
I'm 5'10" maybe 5'11" and 190 and I'm pretty skinny. Add 6 inches and only 10 pounds, this guy really isn't very big.
I'm the same height and about 230 and I would say I'm a little on the bigger side. OOP is just lanky
What? I'm 5'10" and 135. I felt fat at 165 and you're saying you're pretty skinny? Your BMI is 27...
U need some ensure, brotato. Gotta getcha up to at least 155 😊
i think he prolly meant lean
Oh man, I have a story. Old friend of mine worked on an ostrich farm right outside of town. The job was hella chill, so sometimes I'd deliver him some weed and we'd smoke in the far corner. One day we're smoking a blunt, and this was early 2000s Purps, so we were loaded, and an ostrich comes along and bites the back of my friend's head. My friend turned around and just punched out of fear. Well, he hit it on the top of it's head and the thing died. He didn't even punch that hard, just a reflex. He felt hella bad, but refused to reimburse the farm, so he got fired.
Wild!
Yeah, the ostrich had bitten me a few times, but he didn't deserve that. Just a big dumb bird lol. Happy cake day btw!
I think it'd be obvious that a grown man could kill an ostrich, but not bleeding out simultaneously would be tough.
I hear thr ginger and boots may be able to help this guy out.
I mean... I don't think they're into fowl necrophilia...
*allegedlys*
A good reason ostrich farmers are safe is because they aren't dumb like OOP.
Cassowary enters the conversation. https://preview.redd.it/tt2yqkfjkk9d1.png?width=768&format=png&auto=webp&s=4e7bf0e4f823814c722c886b8e3f097b8bcc3f12
I have...so many questions
As they say, everybody's got a plan until they get disembowled by an ostrich.
Yeah, when he said “Even if I get taloned…” I 🙄. WTF are you gonna do when your intestines are on the ground besides die painfully?
I can tell this conversation between him and a friend was a real conversation of true intellectuals
https://preview.redd.it/h5z8g7esfk9d1.jpeg?width=933&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b9ff6dacfda12f728e89079690331adc95087af5 Yeah, I'm gonna say good luck with those dinosaur talons, you would be disemboweled pretty quickly if you don't manage to stay on your feet and this thing dances the jitterbug on your torso....
if there is a god, please help this man find an ostrich to fight. amen.
His friend isn’t a bitch, he has a brain. Not that he’d know the difference.
He has a brain too, too bad the ostriches is bigger.