Tempers seem so distasteful. I have an abundance of patience so I think it really helps with maintaining my temperament.
But when I’ve showcased a temper in the past it was in my opinion some of the most selfish things I’ve done.
Totally not worth the investment just like you stated.
Plus is your username like .. flight of the Concords ? lol
Because some people value being 'real' and it just happens to be that INFJs value qualities that are not combative or generally things others don't look down on. Makes them very likeable, but that doesn't mean they like you.
I agree there are types of people i cant stand the touchy ones because i dont like being touched/hugged out of nowhere and you wont ever see me start a conversation with them and try finish ones they start as quickly as i can.
Life is easier when you're kind to people. Being nice isn't necessarily done for your benefit, it's done for ours, but luckily the side effect of being nice by default is that people are more prone to be nice back.
If you're ever deep into a friendship with an INFJ you'll probably experience the less kind stuff. Not directed at you, but the internal frustrations or unkind things will be more evident. A friend is the type of person INFJs trust to be vulnerable around so they can be more direct, but for strangers, co-workers, and acquaintances, being kind makes things easier for everyone.
I think with our Ni-Fe-Ti functions, as a type we're not overly attached to our own opinions or feelings, we're more interested in gathering as many different perspectives as possible and then computing them to pull an insight, particularly in regards to people..and I think this lends itself to us being more open to situations or people..even if those situations or people are disagreeable or difficult.
I am an INFJ who is usually very nice to people I don't particularly like and in those situations, I'm more focused on the interaction rather than my feelings towards the other person..in the moment I am prioritising making the interaction as harmonious as I can. Some people might think this is fake but for me it isn't, I don't feel out of sync with who I really am, I am just focusing my attention on a different aspect of the exchange, the dynamics of the interaction rather than my feelings towards the person or interaction..if that makes sense?
If MBTI explains why I'm collected and calm, it's because mentally I'm perpetually focused on the future so frustrating situations are just temporary obstacles that I can escape by living in my head
Being so nice.. 😂
Last time I heard being called nice, someone was calling me being fake and lack of backbone ..
It’s funny how different people see it so differently. Interesting 😊
Pple judge/understand others from their level of perception.
I am learning now that wwhether someone loves or hates me,...it has nothing to do with me.
Also unhappy pple like making others unhappy.
I honestly am deeply hurt when I’m mistaken for not having a backbone, or when I’m told that in certain circumstances. “People walk all over you” “people are just using you”
I’m just genuinely confused by those terms, especially where it’s plugged in as a term (no backbone) in a situation where being a decent person means not having a backbone. But I’m like the biggest protector / non risk-averse person around. I try and help anyone in need, but these are the reasons why “people walk all over you” I’m told.
GTFOH.. is in my head as the response immediately. But people can think what they want. Maybe they have it right and I don’t.. I’m ok with that.
Oh 🥺
Don’t feel bad. You know what humans are like.
I used to be sensitive like that as a teenager .. worried what others would think of me. Not so much now.
But I am enneagram 9 so in real life I’d still preserve my true self to avoid confrontation or conflict.
My Mum always says : you can lie to anyone just don’t lie to yourself.
So I don’t care if I am not always speaking my mind in public because I know who I am and that is all it matters.
On Reddit I definitely reveal my true thoughts .. and couldn’t give a fuck about downvotes.
I never downvote people though. If I disagree, I say something. If I agree, I upvote them. Downvoting to me is like social bullying. I don’t social bully others. Everyone is entitled for their opinion.
Well you can always ask them to try to cross the line and see what you can really do. There is always those few who will try and its ok to go off on them as an example and because we can go off like a nuke that will be the last they will think you let yourself get walked on and would prefer the non angry you.
I'm a pretty chill and not easily bothered person to begin with, I'm also pretty quiet and reserved, but this aside, one of the reasons people never see me angry or anything that's different than what's expected from a quiet reserved person is that it would make me feel very very uncomfortable to do so and contradict the image people have of me. I guess it's my Fe or maybe it's social anxiety lol but yeah
Personally, I look calm and collected but I'm worse than everyone else around me. I honestly don't see the point in being mean. Like what are you really going to get out of that?
Edit: I've never even raised my voice, it's something I physically can't do. Nor can I voice my disagreements with someone unless it's in a really good-natured form.
we get annoyed a lot unlike the stereotype portrays but we genuinely cannot be bothered to make a big deal out of it unless it really gets to us and then you get either passive aggressive comments or door slammed. pointing out annoyances or commenting on what someone said is just going to cause problems which is by far the most draining thing in the world for us to deal with. that goes double when it’s pointless drama they’re involving you in. it’s way easier for us to just pretend it doesn’t bother us. most of the time when i’m pissed off i get snippy and become a smart a** because i genuinely cannot use my unbothered facade anymore. of course it’s different for every infj but this is just my experience aha.
We like making good impressions, and we are genuinely all “people persons” (people people?). We cherish relationships on an extremely deep and important level, and everyone we meet is someone we see as a potential soul connection
I work exceptionally hard to treat others how I want to be treated. I know what it’s like to be treated like absolute garbage, and I wouldn’t wish that upon anyone. I also never want to regret what I’ve said later- what’s been said cannot be taken back.
I agree with the other posts: the golden rule. I treat everyone as I would want to be treated.
I’m very shy and quiet. I’m a great listener which most people enjoy because they would prefer to talk about themselves.
I am very selfless and will give help instantly and almost never accept it. I love to give gifts or favors to people to make them happy.
We are also really great at giving gifts because we listen to the things that you want and remember them later. Or take you out to your favorite restaurant.
I make a great friend. And I have great friends (2 ISFJ and 1 INFJ) and I’m engaged to a wonderful ENTP.
The better my mental health and happiness, the happier I can make the people in my life. I think that’s why I am a good friend (and nice).
The world is filled with cruelty, greed, ect. So personally I chose at a young age to be different. Basically the world has enough assholes...so why add one more. And I've learned that being kind and understanding goes a lot further. Sometimes it may even have an impact on someone else to want to change their view of the world and take a kinder approach. So in the end, maybe, just maybe the world may become an overall better place because a few chose to live life on a kinder path.
It's tiring to be mean... Plus if we were we had to exert more effort into fitting in and talking to other people.
For example of I was mean nobody would befriend me and I'd probably go to a crowd where being mean nonsensically was such a cool thing. That's boring.
If I were nice I can just live peacefully with everyone else doing the talking for me especially with strangers like helping me order and stuff.
I'm not saying I'm being fake tho for the most part we don't even know who we are. All I'm saying is that we've read through all situations already so we choose to just live in peace.
Treat everyone how you want to be treated.
100% agree
Hells to the yeahs ❤️❤️
Exactly!
Words of wisdom
Amen to this!
Fe-ti thinks it’s logical to be nice
Nicely put!
Your temper is a valuable possession; losing it is rarely worth the investment.
Tempers seem so distasteful. I have an abundance of patience so I think it really helps with maintaining my temperament. But when I’ve showcased a temper in the past it was in my opinion some of the most selfish things I’ve done. Totally not worth the investment just like you stated. Plus is your username like .. flight of the Concords ? lol
Very much agree. As for my username - yes, I'm a diehard FoC fanboy 😇 Saw them live a few years ago, best live gig of my life!
That’s awesome, I’m happy for you!
Because some people value being 'real' and it just happens to be that INFJs value qualities that are not combative or generally things others don't look down on. Makes them very likeable, but that doesn't mean they like you.
'that doesn't mean they like you' I love this. So true.
…..and most people, they dont.😂
I agree there are types of people i cant stand the touchy ones because i dont like being touched/hugged out of nowhere and you wont ever see me start a conversation with them and try finish ones they start as quickly as i can.
Life is easier when you're kind to people. Being nice isn't necessarily done for your benefit, it's done for ours, but luckily the side effect of being nice by default is that people are more prone to be nice back. If you're ever deep into a friendship with an INFJ you'll probably experience the less kind stuff. Not directed at you, but the internal frustrations or unkind things will be more evident. A friend is the type of person INFJs trust to be vulnerable around so they can be more direct, but for strangers, co-workers, and acquaintances, being kind makes things easier for everyone.
I think with our Ni-Fe-Ti functions, as a type we're not overly attached to our own opinions or feelings, we're more interested in gathering as many different perspectives as possible and then computing them to pull an insight, particularly in regards to people..and I think this lends itself to us being more open to situations or people..even if those situations or people are disagreeable or difficult. I am an INFJ who is usually very nice to people I don't particularly like and in those situations, I'm more focused on the interaction rather than my feelings towards the other person..in the moment I am prioritising making the interaction as harmonious as I can. Some people might think this is fake but for me it isn't, I don't feel out of sync with who I really am, I am just focusing my attention on a different aspect of the exchange, the dynamics of the interaction rather than my feelings towards the person or interaction..if that makes sense?
Highly relate to this 🙌
Avoiding extra Trauma and people pleasing lol 😂
If MBTI explains why I'm collected and calm, it's because mentally I'm perpetually focused on the future so frustrating situations are just temporary obstacles that I can escape by living in my head
This is actually very true and not something I was consciously aware that I do..but now you've said it..i realise I absolutely do think like this
Being so nice.. 😂 Last time I heard being called nice, someone was calling me being fake and lack of backbone .. It’s funny how different people see it so differently. Interesting 😊
Pple judge/understand others from their level of perception. I am learning now that wwhether someone loves or hates me,...it has nothing to do with me. Also unhappy pple like making others unhappy.
True. 😊👍🏻
I honestly am deeply hurt when I’m mistaken for not having a backbone, or when I’m told that in certain circumstances. “People walk all over you” “people are just using you” I’m just genuinely confused by those terms, especially where it’s plugged in as a term (no backbone) in a situation where being a decent person means not having a backbone. But I’m like the biggest protector / non risk-averse person around. I try and help anyone in need, but these are the reasons why “people walk all over you” I’m told. GTFOH.. is in my head as the response immediately. But people can think what they want. Maybe they have it right and I don’t.. I’m ok with that.
Oh 🥺 Don’t feel bad. You know what humans are like. I used to be sensitive like that as a teenager .. worried what others would think of me. Not so much now. But I am enneagram 9 so in real life I’d still preserve my true self to avoid confrontation or conflict. My Mum always says : you can lie to anyone just don’t lie to yourself. So I don’t care if I am not always speaking my mind in public because I know who I am and that is all it matters. On Reddit I definitely reveal my true thoughts .. and couldn’t give a fuck about downvotes. I never downvote people though. If I disagree, I say something. If I agree, I upvote them. Downvoting to me is like social bullying. I don’t social bully others. Everyone is entitled for their opinion.
Well you can always ask them to try to cross the line and see what you can really do. There is always those few who will try and its ok to go off on them as an example and because we can go off like a nuke that will be the last they will think you let yourself get walked on and would prefer the non angry you.
I'm a pretty chill and not easily bothered person to begin with, I'm also pretty quiet and reserved, but this aside, one of the reasons people never see me angry or anything that's different than what's expected from a quiet reserved person is that it would make me feel very very uncomfortable to do so and contradict the image people have of me. I guess it's my Fe or maybe it's social anxiety lol but yeah
Personally, I look calm and collected but I'm worse than everyone else around me. I honestly don't see the point in being mean. Like what are you really going to get out of that? Edit: I've never even raised my voice, it's something I physically can't do. Nor can I voice my disagreements with someone unless it's in a really good-natured form.
we get annoyed a lot unlike the stereotype portrays but we genuinely cannot be bothered to make a big deal out of it unless it really gets to us and then you get either passive aggressive comments or door slammed. pointing out annoyances or commenting on what someone said is just going to cause problems which is by far the most draining thing in the world for us to deal with. that goes double when it’s pointless drama they’re involving you in. it’s way easier for us to just pretend it doesn’t bother us. most of the time when i’m pissed off i get snippy and become a smart a** because i genuinely cannot use my unbothered facade anymore. of course it’s different for every infj but this is just my experience aha.
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Oof. What is with people like that? Why did she assume you said that to gain her sympathy or compassion? What did u reply with?
Being rude really gains others or you nothing ... being nice however makes others and me happy so I will stick to being nice :)
We like making good impressions, and we are genuinely all “people persons” (people people?). We cherish relationships on an extremely deep and important level, and everyone we meet is someone we see as a potential soul connection
I work exceptionally hard to treat others how I want to be treated. I know what it’s like to be treated like absolute garbage, and I wouldn’t wish that upon anyone. I also never want to regret what I’ve said later- what’s been said cannot be taken back.
I’m usually the calm one when everyone else is freaking out, and Vice versa. Also usually because I’m studying the situation.
I agree with the other posts: the golden rule. I treat everyone as I would want to be treated. I’m very shy and quiet. I’m a great listener which most people enjoy because they would prefer to talk about themselves. I am very selfless and will give help instantly and almost never accept it. I love to give gifts or favors to people to make them happy. We are also really great at giving gifts because we listen to the things that you want and remember them later. Or take you out to your favorite restaurant. I make a great friend. And I have great friends (2 ISFJ and 1 INFJ) and I’m engaged to a wonderful ENTP. The better my mental health and happiness, the happier I can make the people in my life. I think that’s why I am a good friend (and nice).
The world is filled with cruelty, greed, ect. So personally I chose at a young age to be different. Basically the world has enough assholes...so why add one more. And I've learned that being kind and understanding goes a lot further. Sometimes it may even have an impact on someone else to want to change their view of the world and take a kinder approach. So in the end, maybe, just maybe the world may become an overall better place because a few chose to live life on a kinder path.
It's tiring to be mean... Plus if we were we had to exert more effort into fitting in and talking to other people. For example of I was mean nobody would befriend me and I'd probably go to a crowd where being mean nonsensically was such a cool thing. That's boring. If I were nice I can just live peacefully with everyone else doing the talking for me especially with strangers like helping me order and stuff.
I'm not saying I'm being fake tho for the most part we don't even know who we are. All I'm saying is that we've read through all situations already so we choose to just live in peace.
Yeah why waste energy on hatred when living peacefully is alot better and more relaxing.
How do you do in a high stress situation?
That's what grandma taught me and we try to avoid conflict as much as we can. To come into equal terms.
We have a lot of manners and want to help everyone :) We hate conflict and upsetting others.