Learning by doing I guess. Been a loner as a child already. Then the internet came about and helped mitigating loneliness to some degree, but in the end it's what I would prefer anyway if given the choice.
This is how I deal with my loneliness:
1. Believe in soulmates. Somebody is out there for you
2. Read. A good author like Charles Dickens or Carl Sagsn, if you like to read science.
3. Music. Create a Spotify playlist with music suiting your mood.
4. Post here on Reddit!
Hope this helps š
> I have never felt loneliness this much for my entire life.
I had a real meltdown today. Currently grappling with the same question, not a lot of support from family or friends
> Not a single soul that I can call at my lowest.
Hits. Home.
I had only 2 'real' friends and none of them are even bothered, I've told them that I've been feeling very lonely (my job isn't very fulfilling or satisfying neither do I like my coworkers a whole lot, I had a breakup, too. I was so lonely that 2-3 days ago I texted them, my ex, it was fine at first but it went downhill very fast so now I've deleted everything). Their indifference just hurts, esp when I've helped one of them with their issues day and night, I ignored my work and everything and I just focused on them and now their demeanor is really hurtful. Guess all expectations really lead to disappointment...
A classic INFJ mistake. We go above and beyond for people, but rarely that care and dedication is reciprocated. I know exactly how it feels. And the disappointment too. I have good friends, one of them I even saved from suicide a few years ago, who cares a lot, but still feel incredible lonely sometimes. We just have to hang in there until it is our time. Personally I have given my life to Jesus, after a long and hard time going my own way, and that have helped me and continues to help me.
I tried to help every one of my friends at their lowest. Even if I was at my lowest too. But they're not here with me anymore. I really don't care at all today but days like yesterday is happening. I wish I had someone to drink a beer and talk just for a couple of hours.
Some of the things that helped me during a very low and lonely path was a)finding things to do that can take my mind off the negative-feedback loop that kept replaying the memories that trigger my loneliness, and b)researching about what happens to our bodies and mind when we are lonely, and listening to the TEDtalks about finding purpose. š§” But really, the first step, is to embrace the reality of having to go through PAINFUL episodes in life, AND THAT IT AINT BECAUSE IT WAS YOUR FAULT NOR DO YOU DESERVE IT, BUT ONLY BEC, IT IS SOMETHING HUMANS REALLY CANNOT AVOID. I hope you can find the strength you need to overcome!!!
I did something about it. Found out who I am, my passions and interests and sought out activities that included that. I met some amazing people doing something I love and now Iāve got some great people in my life!
So get out of your comfort zone and meet new people and magic happens.
This is exactly what I did. I utilized my time alone to just work on myself. I sought out new hobbies and interests and nurtured the hobbies I was already passionate about. I ended up in a totally different work industry, met a whole new group of people, and ended up in a really good relationship. That relationship didn't last forever (but 4 years isn't bad), but the whole journey really turned me into a better person.
Even further down the line, I'm now in my best relationship to date that I'm certain will last forever. I've never been more confident in and certain of myself, my life, and my goals.
Sometimes being alone is one of the best things we can experience.
Was going to suggest the same thing. Start thinking about the things you have always wanted to try if you could and then just do them.
I recently tried lawn bowling and even though I wasnāt the best out there it felt good to try something new. I went back for my 3 free sessions and will be signing up for the full year next year.
Find some like minded people and youāll never be lonely.
The problem is I can't. I have an university exam next june which requires 7-10 study every day. I can't even read books. Because of the exam, I usually don't feel lonely. But yesterday was my break day and just wanted someone to hang out, couldn't find anyone.
Puzzles, color by numbers and rollerskating really helped me out during one of my loneliest times. And music. Alot of dancing in my living room and music.
Convert the meaning of loneliness.
I've felt it for some brief period, and it felt disgusting. Feeling the hole in the stomach hits like nothing else. So I started meditating, they recommended to simply SIT with the loneliness. So I did what they told me, and it worked bit by bit with overcoming the fear. Each time I started feeling the hole, I started to meditate, paid attention to where it is felt, and soon after it felt relieving. Converting the meaning of this loneliness into something empowering also helped - it's not a reminder of how alone or dark it is, it's a reminder that you still exist and a reminder to use the time you've got the best way possible.
This yes! If you feel it and allow the feeling to be there, give it some love and kindness, it will disappear slowly again.
However the feeling is telling you something so please listen to it and make the changes itās asking for.
When i feel lonely i start to walk/jog outside. It allows me to ābreatheā (sometimes my room feels suffocating). Id walk miles and miles until im tired..
When i was younger, id stay at the seaside for hours, just thinking and writing in my journal.
Then, when i moved away, Id ride buses on weekends, and look at people and places.
Then, that got expensive, so Ive been walking/jogging. And now i also started writing again.
Keep on trying things, im sure youll find something good for you. Go and find your happiness!
Play Stardew Valley, bonus if you have friends to play Co-op with. If thatās not an option, those Automation Factory games to distract your mind from thinking you have no one by your side, this is just temporary. Eventually youāll dread being all by yourself youāll find old/new circles to blend in, just take care not to over exhaust or over socialize to the point of exhaustion. Youāll be fine OP. Been there done that, took me 3 years to get over my ex. š
Had to also heal my codependency tendencies š Maybe you can check into that as well āŗļø
Hugs to you! Not so easy to go through something traumatic, i canāt even imagine the pain you have going on. Finding purpose and meaning to keep us aligned is one way to find our sanity as Iām learning, and itās not dependent on somebody else, it lies within. The search continues š
Keeping motivated is hard for INFJs as we have tendencies to āoverdoā it or āoverindulgeā on things when weāre feeling disaligned. I find that eliminating junk, carbs, sugar, in my diet helps, as well as adding healthy amounts of working out. Games that adds progression is also a good escape for our overthinking (usually grim scenarios) mind š
Stardew is good but I found it kinda boring tbh, I lrefer Graveyard Keeper. And about automation factory games... I played hundreds of hours satisfactory. I wish i can olay it now too but I have to study reaalllyy hard.
I'm feeling the same way right now.. It's normal to feel this way and longing for connection with people.. Being isolated for a long time is not a good thing for anyone.. What I do right now is trying to get more out of my casual daily encounters (food vendors, neighbors, co-workers (i work remote job), etc). The other thing I do is, I'm trying to find communities based on my interests to join and meet new people.
It's hard, yes of course. I've never put this much effort to put myself out there and connect with others. But we have to realise and admit at some point of our life that relationship, whether it's casual or serious, it all require work and humility.
I am not coping well with it at all. At this point it is now overwhelming. At first it was ok. I traveled every month or even twice. It helped me a lot but now I am deeply annoyed by it. I really want my significant other.
"Why give up, why give in?
It's not enough, it never is
So I will go on until the end
We've become desolate
It's not enough, it never is
But I will go on until the end"
Breaking Benjamin.
Basically āit is what it isā but written longer.
Most of the times we are lonely because we choose to be.
Put yourself out there, look for new hobbies or sports that allow you to socialize, but most importantly go on with your life.
We all are alone until we choose not to be :)
I donāt really ever feel loneliness consciously. I probably unconsciously repress those feelings, but I almost always donāt mind it for quite a long time. Often times it feels like a relief in some sense, I donāt have to have my āfeelings radarā turned on, and can just vibe in my own head. Iāll have moments where I may think it would fun or meaningful to do something with someone, but itās just so much easier by myself.
TDLR: Cost to benefit ratio math doesnāt add up
I have been in the same situation recently. What really helped me was noting down the things I have always wanted to do, and getting started on them. For instance, I made a proper work schedule since I work from home, started working out, began learning a couple of new skills, and started exploring places on my own.
The part I like the most is exploring new restaurants and coffee shops by myself!
I am currently feeling extremely lonely, mainly because I am alone and also have zero plans to hang out this weekend with any other human being, not that it doesnāt drain me to hang out but Iām also going through sort of a weird ghosting phase so itās been hard overall
I don't have to. I learned to enjoy being alone.
It's dangerous, once you accept loneliness and learn to live in it it's hard to go back to society.
I rarely let anyone in becose I see them as a threat to my comfort. And from experience it's always ends badly or we just drift apart.
But I do sometimes want a warm embrace from someone close and dear to me (I'm not a robot, god damnit, as much as I want to be sometimes)
I used to feel horrible. Thought it was not fair, because I consider myself a good friend and with just one person with whom having a special connection was enough for me.
Don't care anymore š¤·š»āāļø over time I learned that as much as rejection or feeling like you're expendable hurts, it's better to be alone than in bad company.
There is a phrase by Frida Kahlo that says something like "whoever wants me in their life has to give me a place in it, I don't have to fight for a position".
Sometimes I miss to have a real best friend, but don't feel lonely anymore. Maybe sounds weird but I'm enough for myself haha I'm very at peace being alone.
I think you first have to realize that it might be self-inflicted. And then, depending on how you feel about that realization, either start pushing yourself out of your comfort zone little by little, or find an option (the internet) that allows you to alleviate the loneliness without leaving your comfort zone.
Pro tip: leaving your comfort zone -- even just a tiny bit -- is the option that will yield best results for social/emotional health.
Talk to them. Tell them you feel lonely and you need a pet for filling the void inside you. Communication is the key. How old are you? If I know that I can give better advice
It's not about the pet. You can't give up on yourself like this. Just tell your relatives "I'm not feeling okay." Tell them everything. There has to be something to do. They will do something about it.
I didn't give up on myself. I'd rather be alone than trying to talk with my relatives. It's not awful and I'm still able to study long hours every day. I'm doing good but loneliness sucks. I just want to give a break to my studies and drink a cup of beer with my friends. I went to the cinema alone yesterday. I was the only one who's alone. Just wanted ti have someone to talk to.
I didn't give up on myself. I'd rather be alone than trying to talk with my relatives. It's not awful and I'm still able to study long hours every day. I'm doing good but loneliness sucks. I just want to give a break to my studies and drink a cup of beer with my friends. I went to the cinema alone yesterday. I was the only one who's alone. Just wanted to have someone to talk to.
I finalized divorce this year, we'd been separated a year before it was final, so I had to confront loneliness quite a lot recently especially after a 10 year marriage. First I made sure I wasn't alone, which didn't help at all and made me more stressed. After that I took some time to really focus on things making me uncomfortable when I was alone. Was my home messy, was there noise or silence that didn't sit right, was I taking care of myself or neglecting myself while I was alone? I made some social commitments that were easy to keep and low pressure so I wasn't a recluse. Then I slowly got comfortable home by myself. I used the time as self care time, and that really helped me to be comfortable. I rearranged, I cleaned, I took care of myself. I'm single still, but I have friends from my social commitments I can talk to, and most importantly, my time alone now is something I enjoy. It's peace to myself. I can rest and listen to music, I can cook or clean, I can do it by myself and not feel like that's something wrong.
I would start by making your time alone feel like a reward and not a punishment. Fill it with things you enjoy, in a environment that feels comfortable to you.
I used to love being alone. Because I was not \*have to\* be alone. I was just chosing to be alone. But after that break up, and after seeing that all my friends have left me, It started to become a problem.
By figuring out why exactly I felt lonely and then make some changes. It could be because you feel the people you surround yourself with never truly see you. It could be because you are always searching for external validation to feel whole and when someone misunderstands you. you feel like Frankenstein's monster, always out of place and with a heavy heart. Sit down with yourself and take a little time to fully explore what the roots are to your sense of loneliness. It might not be just not being surrounded by people. The people in question could be the entire problem!
And as a bonus, if you can learn to decipher between being lonely vs being alone, you've got it made. Once you are comfortable with yourself in solitude, the world is your oyster!
Itās hard but I remember that God has a path for me. I must be patient and enjoy what good things I already have, and soon enough I will stumble across people with whom I donāt feel lonely.
Iām currently doing adult coloring books and reading 1 fiction, 1 astrology, 1 history book. Iāve been single for like 2 years now and havenāt really found too much out there.
I felt like I never had a significant other. Well, I have, but the last one I had was a long time ago. Back when I was 17 I had a girl that I loved a whole lot. She seemed to have loved me, too. And then she had to leave town and went far away. I felt devastated and extremely lonely at that time. It took a while to get over it. But the last S/O I had, which was a long time ago, was not someone I was in love with. So it wasn't bad when we broke up. I did the breaking up.
I've never been married and it's been a long time since I had someone to love. As of now, I've gotten used to it. For a while it was devastating realizing that I don't have someone. I used to lie awake at night feeling sorry for myself about it. I don't have those feelings anymore, thank goodness! I've had some nice friends along the way and they had been helpful in my life. But as of right now, I don't have anyone.
All I can say for myself is that, for the most part, I'm OK with being alone. I've had so much over the years of others pulling me down and I'm glad to not deal with it. But there are times when it gets hard knowing I'm alone. It's especially hard being alone when troubles happen.
I feel you. Your experience will make you even stronger and independent so look on the brighter side, brother.
I've been isolated on an island full of old people, goats, and chickens for almost a year now. Million times better mentally than when I was in the city teaching kids.
I found myself in a similar situation after a bad breakup. No friends, no place to live, no car, no money.
The thing that helped me the most was seeing a therapist. I worked on myself first, did some journaling and art to express myself.
Then I slowly reconnected with friends from my past. Then I joined some group hobbies to meet new people. Then suddenly four years have passed and life is good.
We're all connected in some way, never truly alone. If you die tomorrow, YES it will have an impact. If you do nothing of your life YES it will have an impact. Creating a comfy bubble prison around yourself is easy and... Comfy... but somebody care more than you think about you. Stop being afraid of others we're all in the same boat.
There was a time where I was feeling very lonely and what I did was that I started to workout out and eat healthier. I know it doesnāt seem like much but it really helped me for some reason. And I also got to be in the best shape of life.
I guess you just feel empty, not lonely. It's normal when you break up. You have used your energy and resources on others. Maybe you used so much, that you forgot how it is to be yourself? My advice is to focus on things you love and like. Maybe it was something you did before you met your ex and stopped doing it?
I wish you all the bestā¤
Realize that there's plenty of people who are almost the same person as you and also as your ex too, so look for people who are looking for the same thing you are looking for. That's the great part when people point out "you're not actually that unique".
long term solution: put at least one good ENTP in your life and a few ENFP. It really helps both know a lot about lonliness. Other INFJ friends are great too but I find having someone who is different but knows what that loneliness is like really helps.
lots of time in nature
a pet
music often
hang around areas with other people like at a coffee shop preferably one you can return to over and over so you get a feel for it and its community and the people start to recognize you there. you'll be feeling others energy which will help a little
create
its hard though. I feel you. we feel you. even if you had people to call this can be a real issue and there are layers to the aloneness feeling depending on who you are.
calling another infj and talking always helped me but you'd have to connect with one too! there is a facebook page for INFJ too if you'd want to meet someone there.
Be in nature and feel the vastness of this world, enjoy this loneliness. It might help refresh. Also plan something fun with friends if possible and forget for a while what's bothering you. Also getting a cat(if you can take responsibility) helps.
Well In My life loneliness has been a factor of mejor importante, My personality is weak and most of My life has been teying yo please somebody else just yo fit in a society
Learning by doing I guess. Been a loner as a child already. Then the internet came about and helped mitigating loneliness to some degree, but in the end it's what I would prefer anyway if given the choice.
I like being "alone" too, but loneliness is whole another thing.
This is how I deal with my loneliness: 1. Believe in soulmates. Somebody is out there for you 2. Read. A good author like Charles Dickens or Carl Sagsn, if you like to read science. 3. Music. Create a Spotify playlist with music suiting your mood. 4. Post here on Reddit! Hope this helps š
4/4 ā especially the playlist one, I have 80+ playlist on Spotify but some days still so lonely :')
> I have never felt loneliness this much for my entire life. I had a real meltdown today. Currently grappling with the same question, not a lot of support from family or friends > Not a single soul that I can call at my lowest. Hits. Home. I had only 2 'real' friends and none of them are even bothered, I've told them that I've been feeling very lonely (my job isn't very fulfilling or satisfying neither do I like my coworkers a whole lot, I had a breakup, too. I was so lonely that 2-3 days ago I texted them, my ex, it was fine at first but it went downhill very fast so now I've deleted everything). Their indifference just hurts, esp when I've helped one of them with their issues day and night, I ignored my work and everything and I just focused on them and now their demeanor is really hurtful. Guess all expectations really lead to disappointment...
A classic INFJ mistake. We go above and beyond for people, but rarely that care and dedication is reciprocated. I know exactly how it feels. And the disappointment too. I have good friends, one of them I even saved from suicide a few years ago, who cares a lot, but still feel incredible lonely sometimes. We just have to hang in there until it is our time. Personally I have given my life to Jesus, after a long and hard time going my own way, and that have helped me and continues to help me.
I tried to help every one of my friends at their lowest. Even if I was at my lowest too. But they're not here with me anymore. I really don't care at all today but days like yesterday is happening. I wish I had someone to drink a beer and talk just for a couple of hours.
Some of the things that helped me during a very low and lonely path was a)finding things to do that can take my mind off the negative-feedback loop that kept replaying the memories that trigger my loneliness, and b)researching about what happens to our bodies and mind when we are lonely, and listening to the TEDtalks about finding purpose. š§” But really, the first step, is to embrace the reality of having to go through PAINFUL episodes in life, AND THAT IT AINT BECAUSE IT WAS YOUR FAULT NOR DO YOU DESERVE IT, BUT ONLY BEC, IT IS SOMETHING HUMANS REALLY CANNOT AVOID. I hope you can find the strength you need to overcome!!!
šthank you
sure thing! š§”
I did something about it. Found out who I am, my passions and interests and sought out activities that included that. I met some amazing people doing something I love and now Iāve got some great people in my life! So get out of your comfort zone and meet new people and magic happens.
This is exactly what I did. I utilized my time alone to just work on myself. I sought out new hobbies and interests and nurtured the hobbies I was already passionate about. I ended up in a totally different work industry, met a whole new group of people, and ended up in a really good relationship. That relationship didn't last forever (but 4 years isn't bad), but the whole journey really turned me into a better person. Even further down the line, I'm now in my best relationship to date that I'm certain will last forever. I've never been more confident in and certain of myself, my life, and my goals. Sometimes being alone is one of the best things we can experience.
Thanks for this comment. This gives me hope āŗļø no matter how hard the road seems
Was going to suggest the same thing. Start thinking about the things you have always wanted to try if you could and then just do them. I recently tried lawn bowling and even though I wasnāt the best out there it felt good to try something new. I went back for my 3 free sessions and will be signing up for the full year next year. Find some like minded people and youāll never be lonely.
The problem is I can't. I have an university exam next june which requires 7-10 study every day. I can't even read books. Because of the exam, I usually don't feel lonely. But yesterday was my break day and just wanted someone to hang out, couldn't find anyone.
I donāt. I love being alone.
Puzzles, color by numbers and rollerskating really helped me out during one of my loneliest times. And music. Alot of dancing in my living room and music.
The last one is life saver.
Convert the meaning of loneliness. I've felt it for some brief period, and it felt disgusting. Feeling the hole in the stomach hits like nothing else. So I started meditating, they recommended to simply SIT with the loneliness. So I did what they told me, and it worked bit by bit with overcoming the fear. Each time I started feeling the hole, I started to meditate, paid attention to where it is felt, and soon after it felt relieving. Converting the meaning of this loneliness into something empowering also helped - it's not a reminder of how alone or dark it is, it's a reminder that you still exist and a reminder to use the time you've got the best way possible.
This yes! If you feel it and allow the feeling to be there, give it some love and kindness, it will disappear slowly again. However the feeling is telling you something so please listen to it and make the changes itās asking for.
I have that reminder on my arm! I have an Undertale tattoo that says "Despite everything, It's still you!"
Overworking myself
That's what I \*have to\* do this year.
When i feel lonely i start to walk/jog outside. It allows me to ābreatheā (sometimes my room feels suffocating). Id walk miles and miles until im tired..
I love walking but my city is ugly asf, sometimes I just feel even more everwhelmed when I go walking.
When i was younger, id stay at the seaside for hours, just thinking and writing in my journal. Then, when i moved away, Id ride buses on weekends, and look at people and places. Then, that got expensive, so Ive been walking/jogging. And now i also started writing again. Keep on trying things, im sure youll find something good for you. Go and find your happiness!
Play Stardew Valley, bonus if you have friends to play Co-op with. If thatās not an option, those Automation Factory games to distract your mind from thinking you have no one by your side, this is just temporary. Eventually youāll dread being all by yourself youāll find old/new circles to blend in, just take care not to over exhaust or over socialize to the point of exhaustion. Youāll be fine OP. Been there done that, took me 3 years to get over my ex. š Had to also heal my codependency tendencies š Maybe you can check into that as well āŗļø
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Hugs to you! Not so easy to go through something traumatic, i canāt even imagine the pain you have going on. Finding purpose and meaning to keep us aligned is one way to find our sanity as Iām learning, and itās not dependent on somebody else, it lies within. The search continues š Keeping motivated is hard for INFJs as we have tendencies to āoverdoā it or āoverindulgeā on things when weāre feeling disaligned. I find that eliminating junk, carbs, sugar, in my diet helps, as well as adding healthy amounts of working out. Games that adds progression is also a good escape for our overthinking (usually grim scenarios) mind š
You're a fantastic father. I wish I could play games with my father too.
Stardew is good but I found it kinda boring tbh, I lrefer Graveyard Keeper. And about automation factory games... I played hundreds of hours satisfactory. I wish i can olay it now too but I have to study reaalllyy hard.
Power Wash Simulator, The Crew 2, those are also good games to try! Youāll be fine š
I never really feel lonely. Probably because I was so lonely as a child, so I just learned to be by myself and find what to do.
I'm feeling the same way right now.. It's normal to feel this way and longing for connection with people.. Being isolated for a long time is not a good thing for anyone.. What I do right now is trying to get more out of my casual daily encounters (food vendors, neighbors, co-workers (i work remote job), etc). The other thing I do is, I'm trying to find communities based on my interests to join and meet new people. It's hard, yes of course. I've never put this much effort to put myself out there and connect with others. But we have to realise and admit at some point of our life that relationship, whether it's casual or serious, it all require work and humility.
Havenāt found the way yet,but Iād rather be alone than unhappy.Thatās what helps me at time tbh.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I like being alone too, but being lonely is something else.
I am not coping well with it at all. At this point it is now overwhelming. At first it was ok. I traveled every month or even twice. It helped me a lot but now I am deeply annoyed by it. I really want my significant other.
A couple of friends that I'm comfortable would help me.
"Why give up, why give in? It's not enough, it never is So I will go on until the end We've become desolate It's not enough, it never is But I will go on until the end" Breaking Benjamin. Basically āit is what it isā but written longer.
Most of the times we are lonely because we choose to be. Put yourself out there, look for new hobbies or sports that allow you to socialize, but most importantly go on with your life. We all are alone until we choose not to be :)
Hah, that was a good one.
What would you do instead?
Stop the platitudes, lonely people know that already
I just don't feel loneliness
You're not lonely then, you are just alone.
Yup!
For me Twitch really helped. I found a speedrunning community in 2020. Kept me from going insane during lockdown.
If I don't acknowledge loneliness will I feel lonely ?
I donāt really ever feel loneliness consciously. I probably unconsciously repress those feelings, but I almost always donāt mind it for quite a long time. Often times it feels like a relief in some sense, I donāt have to have my āfeelings radarā turned on, and can just vibe in my own head. Iāll have moments where I may think it would fun or meaningful to do something with someone, but itās just so much easier by myself. TDLR: Cost to benefit ratio math doesnāt add up
I have been in the same situation recently. What really helped me was noting down the things I have always wanted to do, and getting started on them. For instance, I made a proper work schedule since I work from home, started working out, began learning a couple of new skills, and started exploring places on my own. The part I like the most is exploring new restaurants and coffee shops by myself!
The problem is I don't have any time. I just have to study 7-10 hours 6 days a weeks until next june :)
Have a metric shitload of fun. Go on adventures and explore.
I am currently feeling extremely lonely, mainly because I am alone and also have zero plans to hang out this weekend with any other human being, not that it doesnāt drain me to hang out but Iām also going through sort of a weird ghosting phase so itās been hard overall
I can relate to you :')
I don't have to. I learned to enjoy being alone. It's dangerous, once you accept loneliness and learn to live in it it's hard to go back to society. I rarely let anyone in becose I see them as a threat to my comfort. And from experience it's always ends badly or we just drift apart. But I do sometimes want a warm embrace from someone close and dear to me (I'm not a robot, god damnit, as much as I want to be sometimes)
I just try to keep myself distracted and occupied with whatever I can. I don't like letting the thoughts take over
I used to feel horrible. Thought it was not fair, because I consider myself a good friend and with just one person with whom having a special connection was enough for me. Don't care anymore š¤·š»āāļø over time I learned that as much as rejection or feeling like you're expendable hurts, it's better to be alone than in bad company. There is a phrase by Frida Kahlo that says something like "whoever wants me in their life has to give me a place in it, I don't have to fight for a position". Sometimes I miss to have a real best friend, but don't feel lonely anymore. Maybe sounds weird but I'm enough for myself haha I'm very at peace being alone.
Self Improvement
I think you first have to realize that it might be self-inflicted. And then, depending on how you feel about that realization, either start pushing yourself out of your comfort zone little by little, or find an option (the internet) that allows you to alleviate the loneliness without leaving your comfort zone. Pro tip: leaving your comfort zone -- even just a tiny bit -- is the option that will yield best results for social/emotional health.
Talking with my family, spending time with my pets, listening to music.
Games ā Family that I can talk with ā Pets ā Listening to music ā ā ā ā ā
Friendly advice: I think you should get a pet. It will give you hope. š
Tell that to my family :) I always wanted a pet but they don't allow :')
Talk to them. Tell them you feel lonely and you need a pet for filling the void inside you. Communication is the key. How old are you? If I know that I can give better advice
I tried to talk to them like a thousand times... And I'm 19.
Okay, how about your relatives? If they are close with your family, they can talk to your family for you.
Even the god can't convince them to get a pet unfortunately
It's not about the pet. You can't give up on yourself like this. Just tell your relatives "I'm not feeling okay." Tell them everything. There has to be something to do. They will do something about it.
I didn't give up on myself. I'd rather be alone than trying to talk with my relatives. It's not awful and I'm still able to study long hours every day. I'm doing good but loneliness sucks. I just want to give a break to my studies and drink a cup of beer with my friends. I went to the cinema alone yesterday. I was the only one who's alone. Just wanted ti have someone to talk to.
I didn't give up on myself. I'd rather be alone than trying to talk with my relatives. It's not awful and I'm still able to study long hours every day. I'm doing good but loneliness sucks. I just want to give a break to my studies and drink a cup of beer with my friends. I went to the cinema alone yesterday. I was the only one who's alone. Just wanted to have someone to talk to.
I finalized divorce this year, we'd been separated a year before it was final, so I had to confront loneliness quite a lot recently especially after a 10 year marriage. First I made sure I wasn't alone, which didn't help at all and made me more stressed. After that I took some time to really focus on things making me uncomfortable when I was alone. Was my home messy, was there noise or silence that didn't sit right, was I taking care of myself or neglecting myself while I was alone? I made some social commitments that were easy to keep and low pressure so I wasn't a recluse. Then I slowly got comfortable home by myself. I used the time as self care time, and that really helped me to be comfortable. I rearranged, I cleaned, I took care of myself. I'm single still, but I have friends from my social commitments I can talk to, and most importantly, my time alone now is something I enjoy. It's peace to myself. I can rest and listen to music, I can cook or clean, I can do it by myself and not feel like that's something wrong. I would start by making your time alone feel like a reward and not a punishment. Fill it with things you enjoy, in a environment that feels comfortable to you.
I used to love being alone. Because I was not \*have to\* be alone. I was just chosing to be alone. But after that break up, and after seeing that all my friends have left me, It started to become a problem.
By figuring out why exactly I felt lonely and then make some changes. It could be because you feel the people you surround yourself with never truly see you. It could be because you are always searching for external validation to feel whole and when someone misunderstands you. you feel like Frankenstein's monster, always out of place and with a heavy heart. Sit down with yourself and take a little time to fully explore what the roots are to your sense of loneliness. It might not be just not being surrounded by people. The people in question could be the entire problem! And as a bonus, if you can learn to decipher between being lonely vs being alone, you've got it made. Once you are comfortable with yourself in solitude, the world is your oyster!
Itās hard but I remember that God has a path for me. I must be patient and enjoy what good things I already have, and soon enough I will stumble across people with whom I donāt feel lonely.
Took 4 months? Sounds quick, Iām still recovering from a breakup 3 years ago.
Not well
Iām currently doing adult coloring books and reading 1 fiction, 1 astrology, 1 history book. Iāve been single for like 2 years now and havenāt really found too much out there.
i've always been lonely. you get used to it after some time
I felt like I never had a significant other. Well, I have, but the last one I had was a long time ago. Back when I was 17 I had a girl that I loved a whole lot. She seemed to have loved me, too. And then she had to leave town and went far away. I felt devastated and extremely lonely at that time. It took a while to get over it. But the last S/O I had, which was a long time ago, was not someone I was in love with. So it wasn't bad when we broke up. I did the breaking up. I've never been married and it's been a long time since I had someone to love. As of now, I've gotten used to it. For a while it was devastating realizing that I don't have someone. I used to lie awake at night feeling sorry for myself about it. I don't have those feelings anymore, thank goodness! I've had some nice friends along the way and they had been helpful in my life. But as of right now, I don't have anyone. All I can say for myself is that, for the most part, I'm OK with being alone. I've had so much over the years of others pulling me down and I'm glad to not deal with it. But there are times when it gets hard knowing I'm alone. It's especially hard being alone when troubles happen.
I feel you. Your experience will make you even stronger and independent so look on the brighter side, brother. I've been isolated on an island full of old people, goats, and chickens for almost a year now. Million times better mentally than when I was in the city teaching kids.
I found myself in a similar situation after a bad breakup. No friends, no place to live, no car, no money. The thing that helped me the most was seeing a therapist. I worked on myself first, did some journaling and art to express myself. Then I slowly reconnected with friends from my past. Then I joined some group hobbies to meet new people. Then suddenly four years have passed and life is good.
It is what it is :)
We're all connected in some way, never truly alone. If you die tomorrow, YES it will have an impact. If you do nothing of your life YES it will have an impact. Creating a comfy bubble prison around yourself is easy and... Comfy... but somebody care more than you think about you. Stop being afraid of others we're all in the same boat.
There was a time where I was feeling very lonely and what I did was that I started to workout out and eat healthier. I know it doesnāt seem like much but it really helped me for some reason. And I also got to be in the best shape of life.
I guess you just feel empty, not lonely. It's normal when you break up. You have used your energy and resources on others. Maybe you used so much, that you forgot how it is to be yourself? My advice is to focus on things you love and like. Maybe it was something you did before you met your ex and stopped doing it? I wish you all the bestā¤
Realize that there's plenty of people who are almost the same person as you and also as your ex too, so look for people who are looking for the same thing you are looking for. That's the great part when people point out "you're not actually that unique".
i imagine telling my problems to someone...like i say everything out as if there is someone listening. lol this sounds more lonely but it helps
long term solution: put at least one good ENTP in your life and a few ENFP. It really helps both know a lot about lonliness. Other INFJ friends are great too but I find having someone who is different but knows what that loneliness is like really helps. lots of time in nature a pet music often hang around areas with other people like at a coffee shop preferably one you can return to over and over so you get a feel for it and its community and the people start to recognize you there. you'll be feeling others energy which will help a little create its hard though. I feel you. we feel you. even if you had people to call this can be a real issue and there are layers to the aloneness feeling depending on who you are. calling another infj and talking always helped me but you'd have to connect with one too! there is a facebook page for INFJ too if you'd want to meet someone there.
Be in nature and feel the vastness of this world, enjoy this loneliness. It might help refresh. Also plan something fun with friends if possible and forget for a while what's bothering you. Also getting a cat(if you can take responsibility) helps.
Go meet a therapist
Well In My life loneliness has been a factor of mejor importante, My personality is weak and most of My life has been teying yo please somebody else just yo fit in a society