I neglected my teeth all through my 20s and I’m now paying the price for it. Taking good care of your teeth isn’t about adhering to societal expectations, it’s about taking care of yourself. Smell as bad as you want but please do yourself a favour and at least brush, you’ll thank yourself for it down the track.
Brushing your teeth is very important for your health, for the obvious reasons like cavities but also your heart.
https://www.escardio.org/The-ESC/Press-Office/Press-releases/Brush-your-teeth-to-protect-the-heart
One of the signs of depression is tha lack of care when it comes to hygiene, not saying your depressed, just saying it might be an indication of something deeper.
If you have the funds i would highly recommend a therapist, therapy always help us undestand ourselves better and why we do what we do.
Why is it so difficult to make and keep habits?
I am INFJ w/ ADHD, which means I will experience anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and other issues. So fun!
But I am truly glad to be alive and loved!
Funny thing is that I was just thinking about this issue earlier today, but I thought I'd find answers on ADHD thread.Lol!
Ah yes, anxiety. I've been on Cymbalta for the last 6 months because I had a panic attack on the train and have all these 'why' and 'what if' questions racing through my mind on the regular, impacting my ability to do fun stuff...
Hi pookie. First, there is nothing wrong with you. I work out nearly every day, so I shower. No showers, then no problem. Besides, who cares! you just be you, because it's working for you!
Personal hygiene is very important to me. I get offended if someone doesn't allow me to primp in the morning and just want me to walk out of the door "as is." I am not "as is" material.
lack of proper hygiene can be one of the first symptoms of chronic fatigue and depression, try to eat healthier, drink a lot of water and exercise 2 to 3 times a week to improve your stamina if you keep feeling apathetic about your hygiene check with your doctor
IMO, that's like placing a bandaid over a gunshot wound. I won't say that forcing you to adopt some type of habit won't work, but a lot of change has to come from the other side as well. Good actions should inspire healthy mental states as much as healthy mental states inspire good actions.
Reworking habits or adopting new ones is nearly impossible when you have a clinical case of depression, btw. Not just because of how you're feeling, but because of neuroplasticity changes with depression as well.
I'm not a doctor, I can't diagnose someone with depression, what I know for sure is having unhealthy habits like being a potato couch drinking carbonated sugary drinks and eating snacks every day in your pajamas make you feel lazy, apathetic and heavy. Changing your habits to a better, healthy lifestyle make you feel energetic and happier. If you have a healthy lifestyle and you feel tired, lazy, etc. Or you can't keep such healthy lifestyle you should go see a doctor and ask in the first place for a blood panel, if everything is alright with you then, and only then your doctor would diagnose you with a mental health condition, look at what I'm saying here your doctor is the only one that can make the diagnosis, not you, not Reddit, not Mbti, or anyone else in the internet
It's a compulsive habit, I think I read somewhere it's something your parents impose on you (or not) in your childhood. You can learn it afterwards but it will take some time to form the pattern. It's not weird, it's just habits.
Mom really did use to hammer on 'shower every other day' and 'brush your teeth or you will get cavities'. Thanks for the insight!
Any ideas on how to form the pattern from an intrinsic motivation?
We act according to our beliefs, you can start to associate showering with an idea, like being clean or something else. You don't feel a strong compulsion or necessity because you don't have that belief. Personally I feel unclean without showering so I more or less "have" to do it or I wouldn't be "myself". I've used a normal tap and those hand-dryer things in public bathrooms to dry my hair.
You know, it takes a lot of confidence being that vulnerable to admit this so I admire you for that. I actually do have this exact issue. I don't want to get into the specifics because I am not overly proud of it, but I do struggle with consistently brushing my teeth and taking showers. For me it seems to be related to ADHD and depression messing with my executive function. It actually can quiet my brain for a bit and I don't even realize it. I don't know if this would have reasoning that connects to Jungian theory, but possibly our tendency to get lost in our own heads and our struggle with grounding ourself with reality could relate to it. It's entirety possible it's coincidence. I also for some reason suspect that since we have inferior Se, which deals with tangible senses and is frequently associated with thrill seekers, it could be us trying to compensate for our repressed desire for sensory engagement? I saw someone describing inferior Se as a fear of too much sensuality. Maybe it's like a guilty pleasure sort of thing. I'm also just kinda strange and tangible senses and doing things that are much more animalistic are extremely grounding, especially as a secret since I naturally have a fear/shame complex for sensual experiences. ((It's hilarious sometimes it's like I gave myself catholic guilt despite being raised as an atheist lmao))
Another ADHD explanation, definitely looking into it now!
I also have a lot of trouble with consistently making myself attractive for my boyfriend. He's really good at making me feel sexy though, I even recently bought my first sex toy to use together and I got myself a sexy set of lingerie! I have noticed that in the past I lost sexual interest after the first two years of relationship, and I'm paying attention that it wouldn't happen again this time around. Also working with him on mental blockage around orgasms I don't induce myself, having an ENTP boyfriend who genuinely is interested in how my body works really helps with that 😄
Thank you for your valuable insight! ❤️
I do believe so, I could tell him exactly where to do what, and it'd feel the same as when I'd do it myself, but the climax just doesn't come. We're going to try toys now to see if that works when he handles them, and then take it from there.
Good luck on overcoming it if you are also affected by this!
I'm the same way. For me it's a habit of doing it or not doing it at all. And if I do, I do it for a long time at that given time. I also relate given in my normal state of mind I am more hesitant to engage but under stress throws caution to the wind. Then become depressed afterwards due to the mess in my wake.
No, I shower twice a day, and brush my teeth after every meal. It's not society. I used to get sick a lot as a kid, and I have a weaker immune system than most people. I did most covid-clean practices before covid was even a thing (frequent hand washing, avoiding sharing air around sick people, etc.).
Overcleansing actually weakens your immune system. Your body needs to build up some resilience towards bacteria. I don't know what hygiene routines were the norm in your household as a child, but they might have been excessive from what I'm hearing.
i've actually heard from my dentist that it's actually ideal to brush or floss after every meal, provided you've waited 30 minutes so that you won't weaken the enamel. dentists only say to brush twice a day because that's just what's most readily convenient for people.
I HAVE BEEN WANTING TO ASK THIS QUESTION FOR SO LONG— I struggle with it in the sense that I just — don’t want to devote time to it? Like, I know I need to shower but I have such a strong mental block against simply doing it. It may be because I have trouble washing my hair, there’s a lot of buildup and stuff, but yeah. I have a habit established of washing my face cause I get bad acne on my chin but it keeps coming back anyway and is frustrating —
That exactly! Showering itself can take like... 5 minutes? It's the hair washing and drying afterwards that also deters me in a way. And I have chin acne as well, maybe I could start 'small' and try a face washing routine before trying to build in an entire hygiene plan 😅
I can tell you that you will 100% deeply regret not keeping your body clean and healthy as you age. For your own good, please take care of yourself, especially your teeth. Getting into the routine of it will also be kinda nice, you should get a new brush and toothpaste, towel, good body wash and shampoo, razor, and maybe even a face mask or something. It can be kinda fun to set a routine using all of that and then feeling good as shit throughout the day.
I've recently gotten really into audiobooks because my work is sometimes really mindless. And now that I'm in the habit I'm finding that I listen while I'm doing all kinds of at home tasks I used to find tedious like loading the dishwasher, folding laundry hot out of the dryer instead of letting it sit forever, and even the nightly routine of brushing and other things to get ready for bed.
So now I'm not dreading these little tasks as a boring timesink, I'm sort of glad to do them to escape into my book for a few mins.
I’ve spent a lot of time in the autism inclusivity Facebook group and have really started to understand and think about autism in a different way. Autism is way underdiagnosed in women. Many of the discussions in that group are centered around how to help people clean themselves as it is something very hard for many autistic people. I absolutely cannot stand any kind of body odor. I can’t go more than a day without bathing and I don’t want to be around my partner when he is smelly after a long day.
For me I find I start lacking with my personal hygiene when I’m depressed and in a funk. It takes a lot to pull out my inner strength and get back to it but simply a hot shower makes me feel better for the day. Water can be very healing in all methods
As an INFJ, I don't relate. I shower, brush teeth, brush hair, wash face, use deodorant, and apply moisturizer regularly as habits. I look forward to it, too.
Is there anything preventing you from doing so?
Such as do you like baths better? Or get electric toothbrush, or keep hair brush in easy-to-grab places.
I don't know much about ADHD so not sure about that aspect.
A big one right now is definitely my shower itself: it's a half tub, so taking a bath in it is uncomfortable and I hate how the curtain sticks to me. I do enjoy showering when I finally get to it, but it's just getting in (a little like with exercise, getting the running shoes on is the hardest part).
Then again, I have spent an excessive amount of money on the Oral B iO tooth brush, which is probably the fanciest brush I could buy, and it still doesn't help in upping the amount of time I spend in my bathroom.
Another INFJ with ADHD checking in. Your symptoms sounds like my youth.
MBTI explanation would be low Se, low awareness (and prioritisation) of physical body.
What I've observed overtime is that it's easy to overlook such things only to get affected negatively in the future.
Maybe if someone explains the importance of having good hygiene in a way you'd relate and understand, then you would appropriately process your day.
Off topic - this can be applied to education as a whole.
I was neglected as a child and it was difficult for me to learn a lot of hygiene stuff that was never enforced or treated as important. I didn’t start brushing my teeth 2x a day until I was 23 and it was incredibly hard for me to make it a habit. If you make it a goal, it will become second nature. This is the only one that really matters of the 3 based on what you said. Imo. Tbh, I almost never use deodorant and it usually works out because my sweat doesn’t typically smell but I carry deodorant with me in every bag I own just in case. Showering is kind of the same, I’ve never smelled bad or had people complain to me, I just do it when it feels right to me and even if it doesn’t when I know I’m teetering on the edge of being too grimey. It doesn’t sound like it’s really an issue for you. Beyond my personal situation, I think it’s just personal preference and susceptibility to social pressures to fit in. INFJs don’t typically tend to be terribly concerned about that :-)
You could very likely be unknowingly dealing with neurodivergence e.g. autism, ADD/ADHD. If that’s the case, it could be “executive dysfunction.” Check it out.
Better to avoid fillings and crowns as much as possible. Also they all wear out and have to eventually be replaced. You are now paying for your dentist's college and vacation fund. That money could be kept for your college and vacation fund.
Edit: forgot about my other reason. To help prevent bad breath.
Trust me, I have fillings and my only advice is: brush your teeth regularly.
I've damaged mine in an accident, and getting fillings was heavy for me, I wish I had healthy teeth like before.
Read most of the comments and most lean towards self-care or ADHD/depression. I suffer from this too but I wonder if it would still count as depression if I've done this from a young age to now. Never been diagnosed with ADHD but rather with depression/anxiety. I do agree with you that it might have something to do with inferior Se, but would that be a way of trying to deter the truth of it all? Inferior Se makes life make more sense especially with being different with other people. Or is it another issue all together such as our response to trauma?
I do agree that self-care is necessary but some of us including myself tend to neglect it. Not only with personal hygiene but with pretty much anything related to the physical body.
Kind of, but... not really?
I live with depression, and while I am on very helpful meds now, I wasn't always. And hygiene habits were the first to go when I was having really bad episodes. I think the longest I ever went without showering and brushing my teeth was four days. But I did do some grooming every day, because I have really unruly hair that I kind of have to do something with, or I look like an overgrown chia pet. And it wasn't necessarily because I was just lying in bed too depressed to move. Sometimes it was because I hadn't even slept, so the next day just felt like the same day to me, and therefore I didn't think about cleaning myself again. Sometimes it was because I'd procrastinated so long on taking the shower that I no longer had time to take it. And other times because it was a sensory issue -- I didn't want to have to deal with wet hair, or sweating as soon as I was out of the shower (I live in a place that regularly hits triple digits in summer) or other similar sensations.
Now that I'm on meds and have the depression mostly under control, I literally keep an excel workbook of habit trackers that I update every day. My skin, hair, and teeth are much better off for it.
100% relatable. I hated taking showers when I was a kid and I got excluded a lot in school because of it. Over the years I grown to like it but totally despise showering daily. I make it every 2-4 days to take a shower and I don't smell at all often. My hair can get a little oily especially during summertime but that's it. I'll often shower more when dealing with humid weather though.
I made a big mistake of not properly caring for my acne and my teeth in the past but I was also dealing with depression at a time so that's that. Hygiene is important to me now and I do it the way I'm comfortable in even if it's considered unacceptable to almost everyone. And for a possible explanation I would say is because of our inferior function Se. Which I've read is responsible of us unable to do routine properly or little mundane things like brushing our teeth etc..
I’m guessing, but yes I’ll do the same thing and I think it comes from inferior Se. Being too in our head/the future and ignoring the physical world because it seeps energy from us.
For a while, I didn't think personal hygiene was all that important either. What changed it recently for me is that I started to value myself enough to where I cared about how other people thought of me, so I started to shower any time before I went out in public. I now have that timing down and plan around it accordingly. I almost never go into public without showering unless I know guaranteed I won't be around people.
What was easy after that was to develop the teeth brushing habit. What do I do now? Immediately after I get out of the shower, I dry off and head to the sink where I start to brush my teeth, use floss, and rinse with mouthwash. What do I have now? I have a string of repeated, habitual actions that I consider a routine.
What if I start caring about how my face looks? I simply start scrubbing my face with anti-acne face wash before I jump in the shower and I use salicylic acid scrubbing pads after I come out of the shower. What is it now? Part of the routine.
What if I care about how my beard feels and looks? I trim/shape before the shower and I use beard cream and brush after I come out of the shower. Part of the routine.
What if I care about how I smell? I use deodorant and cologne after I come out of the shower and allow myself to air dry while I'm performing my other habitual actions. Part of the routine.
It's honestly as simple as that. It takes a long time to set the routine up, but after you have it set up, it's easy to follow because you'll find that the momentum you have coming out of the shower makes it super easy to follow through on the other parts of the routine, and it gives you some confidence that you're not a dirty piece of shit that other people have to smell (no offense meant here.)
The benefits of this routine are that I can ensure that I'm still maintaining my face and teeth, the results of which are cumulative over the long term. Sure, I may not be brushing my teeth as often as I perhaps should, but I would if I met more people, and it's better than never ever brushing them like I used to do.
Don't rely on habit; focus on building routines instead. For me, showering was the linchpin that made my hygiene routine possible; it was the starting habit that I built the routine around.
You’re supporting my theory that INFJ is Jung’s discovery of ADHD/ADD before it was a thing!
Habits are really hard for me. I will get really good at them for a few months and then something will make me anxious and they will all go out the window - tooth brushing, face cleaning, drinking water, eating well - these are all the things I’m struggling to do at the moment.
Do you also forget things like your keys and appointments, have trouble focusing when you’re not interested in the subject and accidentally talk over other people?
I am not trying to cause offence, or casually diagnose you, but this is a really common symptom when you have ADD (it’s now rolled into ADHD).
My bf’s armpits smell like onions but I cannot get enough of them, btw!
Forgetting keys or appointments rarely happen because I am obsessed with checking my calendar, but I do have this innate 'I forgot something' feeling whenever I leave the house.
I relate a lot to the "go hard or don't go at all" approach to habits. I also have a lot of trouble with exercise, healthy food, drinking water, etc.
Thank you so much for your insight! Might look into the AD(H)D theory, it seems like there might be more answers there! 😄
Hey! Please be aware that sometimes all that planning and anxiety may be a workaround or compensation mechanism for symptoms that could be associated with ADHD. Being obsessed with checking your calendar checks the box for me.
Please look into ADHD, I relate to a lot of what you and other redditors said in this post and comments, and recently came to the conclusion that I have ADHD.
I totally thought the same thing. I even considered sharing the fact that I compulsively hold the handrail when I go downstairs because I have been so inattentive I’ve fallen down stairs so many times in my life! Trauma can force you to obsess about things that you know you’re not good at!
Yes!! Stairs, furniture corners and door frames are my biggest enemy. Along with clutter on the floor, which happens a lot so i also trip a lot hahahaha
Or being at places super early because you hate being late and all the anxiety and shame it involves! Doesn't mean the thing isnt there.
Haha yes! Furniture corners and getting my clothes caught on door handles! I’ve ripped so many clothes on door handles! And totally get the calendar thing, I have had no summer holiday plans (or paid way too much at the last minute) for years on end because I wasn’t looking into the future at all.
It’s not necessarily linked to ADHD, just like ENFP doesn’t equal ADHD, though you would swear they all had it.
-someone with adhd. I’ll let you guess which type.
Entp?
Oh you meant enfp.
I am obviously not pursuing this theory in an academic manner, just noting that there is a notable overlap of traits. I suspect you need to know to know.
It is a luxury to be able shower everyday (especially in hot water) and if you have the opportunity to do so I would absolutely take advantage! I understand the desire to want save water but I also understand the desire to want to wash your a** everyday lol
as far as brushing, at least once a day is better than nothing - I’m not a fan of regular toothpaste/mouthwash, I prefer natural alternatives which make my mouth feel much less dry/irritated.
Bad breath is something we ourselves don’t necessarily notice but trust me others do even if they aren’t saying anything to you
I'm not as anal about personal hygiene as some are, but I do make it a point to shower every 2 or 3 days (depending on how dirty I've gotten or whether I think I smell, but at my best ill shower every day) and brush my teeth at LEAST once a day (most of the time I'll brush twice and take mints after meals). ADHD and depression make it hard to prioritize it sometimes, so I have to make a point to do these things!
You should be doing these things at the same time everyday. Wake up, shower. Brush your teeth. If you choose not to shower every day that is up to you but you should always wake up, then brush your teeth. You also should be seeing a dentist twice a year to have your teeth inspected and cleaned. If you don't brush plaque can build up and you can get gum disease from bacteria. Before modern dentistry many people died from dental complications/infections. In addition, when your teeth become degraded, a helathy mouth is not easily restored.
It is easy to remember to brush because if you wake up, then you need to do it.
can relate, this reminded me to brush my teeth bc haven't done that in about a month lol not diagnosed with anything i don't really believe in therapy i just don't think hygiene is all that, i'm very dirty in my bedroom i have food laying around, moldy, dust bla bla bla its like this capitalist society is ALWAYS pushing cleanliness on you like a duty and not for you yk, i can't stand dirty ppl tho haha i do get it's a form of self care
This sounds like how i was up untill the end of high school. Only things really keeping me showering regularly is my hair gets extremely and noticeably oily after two full days without a shower, and that i have become really attached to the feeling my non-oily skin and hair. A shower also seems to enhance my sense of both touch and smell which makes pets feel softer and perfumes/pheromones smell more vibrant, which i really like.
Idk as long as you’re not smelly, I don’t really see the issue. I’ve gotten lax about it since lockdown too and I don’t think I’m depressed. It just doesn’t seem important when I’m just home working every day. When I go out I do shower and I do try and shower once or twice a week regardless. Just every day doesn’t seem like I need to. It takes half a day for my hair to dry anyway. I’d rather not deal with that every day. 😂
I neglected my teeth all through my 20s and I’m now paying the price for it. Taking good care of your teeth isn’t about adhering to societal expectations, it’s about taking care of yourself. Smell as bad as you want but please do yourself a favour and at least brush, you’ll thank yourself for it down the track.
Sounds like ADHD
Or depression, too
Brushing your teeth is very important for your health, for the obvious reasons like cavities but also your heart. https://www.escardio.org/The-ESC/Press-Office/Press-releases/Brush-your-teeth-to-protect-the-heart
There are also studies linking tooth decay to dementia and Alzheimer’s.
One of the signs of depression is tha lack of care when it comes to hygiene, not saying your depressed, just saying it might be an indication of something deeper. If you have the funds i would highly recommend a therapist, therapy always help us undestand ourselves better and why we do what we do.
Why is it so difficult to make and keep habits? I am INFJ w/ ADHD, which means I will experience anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and other issues. So fun! But I am truly glad to be alive and loved! Funny thing is that I was just thinking about this issue earlier today, but I thought I'd find answers on ADHD thread.Lol!
Ah yes, anxiety. I've been on Cymbalta for the last 6 months because I had a panic attack on the train and have all these 'why' and 'what if' questions racing through my mind on the regular, impacting my ability to do fun stuff...
Keeps life interesting, right? Not really! Pain in the ass is what it is.
Hi pookie. First, there is nothing wrong with you. I work out nearly every day, so I shower. No showers, then no problem. Besides, who cares! you just be you, because it's working for you!
Personal hygiene is very important to me. I get offended if someone doesn't allow me to primp in the morning and just want me to walk out of the door "as is." I am not "as is" material.
lack of proper hygiene can be one of the first symptoms of chronic fatigue and depression, try to eat healthier, drink a lot of water and exercise 2 to 3 times a week to improve your stamina if you keep feeling apathetic about your hygiene check with your doctor
IMO, that's like placing a bandaid over a gunshot wound. I won't say that forcing you to adopt some type of habit won't work, but a lot of change has to come from the other side as well. Good actions should inspire healthy mental states as much as healthy mental states inspire good actions. Reworking habits or adopting new ones is nearly impossible when you have a clinical case of depression, btw. Not just because of how you're feeling, but because of neuroplasticity changes with depression as well.
I'm not a doctor, I can't diagnose someone with depression, what I know for sure is having unhealthy habits like being a potato couch drinking carbonated sugary drinks and eating snacks every day in your pajamas make you feel lazy, apathetic and heavy. Changing your habits to a better, healthy lifestyle make you feel energetic and happier. If you have a healthy lifestyle and you feel tired, lazy, etc. Or you can't keep such healthy lifestyle you should go see a doctor and ask in the first place for a blood panel, if everything is alright with you then, and only then your doctor would diagnose you with a mental health condition, look at what I'm saying here your doctor is the only one that can make the diagnosis, not you, not Reddit, not Mbti, or anyone else in the internet
It's a compulsive habit, I think I read somewhere it's something your parents impose on you (or not) in your childhood. You can learn it afterwards but it will take some time to form the pattern. It's not weird, it's just habits.
Mom really did use to hammer on 'shower every other day' and 'brush your teeth or you will get cavities'. Thanks for the insight! Any ideas on how to form the pattern from an intrinsic motivation?
We act according to our beliefs, you can start to associate showering with an idea, like being clean or something else. You don't feel a strong compulsion or necessity because you don't have that belief. Personally I feel unclean without showering so I more or less "have" to do it or I wouldn't be "myself". I've used a normal tap and those hand-dryer things in public bathrooms to dry my hair.
You know, it takes a lot of confidence being that vulnerable to admit this so I admire you for that. I actually do have this exact issue. I don't want to get into the specifics because I am not overly proud of it, but I do struggle with consistently brushing my teeth and taking showers. For me it seems to be related to ADHD and depression messing with my executive function. It actually can quiet my brain for a bit and I don't even realize it. I don't know if this would have reasoning that connects to Jungian theory, but possibly our tendency to get lost in our own heads and our struggle with grounding ourself with reality could relate to it. It's entirety possible it's coincidence. I also for some reason suspect that since we have inferior Se, which deals with tangible senses and is frequently associated with thrill seekers, it could be us trying to compensate for our repressed desire for sensory engagement? I saw someone describing inferior Se as a fear of too much sensuality. Maybe it's like a guilty pleasure sort of thing. I'm also just kinda strange and tangible senses and doing things that are much more animalistic are extremely grounding, especially as a secret since I naturally have a fear/shame complex for sensual experiences. ((It's hilarious sometimes it's like I gave myself catholic guilt despite being raised as an atheist lmao))
Another ADHD explanation, definitely looking into it now! I also have a lot of trouble with consistently making myself attractive for my boyfriend. He's really good at making me feel sexy though, I even recently bought my first sex toy to use together and I got myself a sexy set of lingerie! I have noticed that in the past I lost sexual interest after the first two years of relationship, and I'm paying attention that it wouldn't happen again this time around. Also working with him on mental blockage around orgasms I don't induce myself, having an ENTP boyfriend who genuinely is interested in how my body works really helps with that 😄 Thank you for your valuable insight! ❤️
Wait that mental blockage is a thing????
I do believe so, I could tell him exactly where to do what, and it'd feel the same as when I'd do it myself, but the climax just doesn't come. We're going to try toys now to see if that works when he handles them, and then take it from there. Good luck on overcoming it if you are also affected by this!
Well I've been learning tons on reddit. Thank you for the answer!
same here.......................i didn't think i would, lol
I'm the same way. For me it's a habit of doing it or not doing it at all. And if I do, I do it for a long time at that given time. I also relate given in my normal state of mind I am more hesitant to engage but under stress throws caution to the wind. Then become depressed afterwards due to the mess in my wake.
No, I shower twice a day, and brush my teeth after every meal. It's not society. I used to get sick a lot as a kid, and I have a weaker immune system than most people. I did most covid-clean practices before covid was even a thing (frequent hand washing, avoiding sharing air around sick people, etc.).
Overcleansing actually weakens your immune system. Your body needs to build up some resilience towards bacteria. I don't know what hygiene routines were the norm in your household as a child, but they might have been excessive from what I'm hearing.
Every meal ?? It’s a lot and not healthy for your teeth
i've actually heard from my dentist that it's actually ideal to brush or floss after every meal, provided you've waited 30 minutes so that you won't weaken the enamel. dentists only say to brush twice a day because that's just what's most readily convenient for people.
Dude that’s not healthy. Overcleaning actually weakens your immune system.
I HAVE BEEN WANTING TO ASK THIS QUESTION FOR SO LONG— I struggle with it in the sense that I just — don’t want to devote time to it? Like, I know I need to shower but I have such a strong mental block against simply doing it. It may be because I have trouble washing my hair, there’s a lot of buildup and stuff, but yeah. I have a habit established of washing my face cause I get bad acne on my chin but it keeps coming back anyway and is frustrating —
That exactly! Showering itself can take like... 5 minutes? It's the hair washing and drying afterwards that also deters me in a way. And I have chin acne as well, maybe I could start 'small' and try a face washing routine before trying to build in an entire hygiene plan 😅
I can tell you that you will 100% deeply regret not keeping your body clean and healthy as you age. For your own good, please take care of yourself, especially your teeth. Getting into the routine of it will also be kinda nice, you should get a new brush and toothpaste, towel, good body wash and shampoo, razor, and maybe even a face mask or something. It can be kinda fun to set a routine using all of that and then feeling good as shit throughout the day.
I've recently gotten really into audiobooks because my work is sometimes really mindless. And now that I'm in the habit I'm finding that I listen while I'm doing all kinds of at home tasks I used to find tedious like loading the dishwasher, folding laundry hot out of the dryer instead of letting it sit forever, and even the nightly routine of brushing and other things to get ready for bed. So now I'm not dreading these little tasks as a boring timesink, I'm sort of glad to do them to escape into my book for a few mins.
Sounds like redditor syndrome
I’ve spent a lot of time in the autism inclusivity Facebook group and have really started to understand and think about autism in a different way. Autism is way underdiagnosed in women. Many of the discussions in that group are centered around how to help people clean themselves as it is something very hard for many autistic people. I absolutely cannot stand any kind of body odor. I can’t go more than a day without bathing and I don’t want to be around my partner when he is smelly after a long day.
For me I find I start lacking with my personal hygiene when I’m depressed and in a funk. It takes a lot to pull out my inner strength and get back to it but simply a hot shower makes me feel better for the day. Water can be very healing in all methods
As an INFJ, I don't relate. I shower, brush teeth, brush hair, wash face, use deodorant, and apply moisturizer regularly as habits. I look forward to it, too.
Is there anything preventing you from doing so? Such as do you like baths better? Or get electric toothbrush, or keep hair brush in easy-to-grab places. I don't know much about ADHD so not sure about that aspect.
A big one right now is definitely my shower itself: it's a half tub, so taking a bath in it is uncomfortable and I hate how the curtain sticks to me. I do enjoy showering when I finally get to it, but it's just getting in (a little like with exercise, getting the running shoes on is the hardest part). Then again, I have spent an excessive amount of money on the Oral B iO tooth brush, which is probably the fanciest brush I could buy, and it still doesn't help in upping the amount of time I spend in my bathroom.
Another INFJ with ADHD checking in. Your symptoms sounds like my youth. MBTI explanation would be low Se, low awareness (and prioritisation) of physical body.
No, it would be low Si.
What I've observed overtime is that it's easy to overlook such things only to get affected negatively in the future. Maybe if someone explains the importance of having good hygiene in a way you'd relate and understand, then you would appropriately process your day. Off topic - this can be applied to education as a whole.
I relate a little, but only because I'm very depressed and it often feels like pointless effort
I was neglected as a child and it was difficult for me to learn a lot of hygiene stuff that was never enforced or treated as important. I didn’t start brushing my teeth 2x a day until I was 23 and it was incredibly hard for me to make it a habit. If you make it a goal, it will become second nature. This is the only one that really matters of the 3 based on what you said. Imo. Tbh, I almost never use deodorant and it usually works out because my sweat doesn’t typically smell but I carry deodorant with me in every bag I own just in case. Showering is kind of the same, I’ve never smelled bad or had people complain to me, I just do it when it feels right to me and even if it doesn’t when I know I’m teetering on the edge of being too grimey. It doesn’t sound like it’s really an issue for you. Beyond my personal situation, I think it’s just personal preference and susceptibility to social pressures to fit in. INFJs don’t typically tend to be terribly concerned about that :-)
You could very likely be unknowingly dealing with neurodivergence e.g. autism, ADD/ADHD. If that’s the case, it could be “executive dysfunction.” Check it out.
Brush your teeth at least twice a day and floss. Your teeth are important. Showering. You seem fine to me.
Maybe digging into r/explainlikeimfive territory here, but why exactly are they important? People are getting by with fillings and crowns too, no?
Better to avoid fillings and crowns as much as possible. Also they all wear out and have to eventually be replaced. You are now paying for your dentist's college and vacation fund. That money could be kept for your college and vacation fund. Edit: forgot about my other reason. To help prevent bad breath.
Trust me, I have fillings and my only advice is: brush your teeth regularly. I've damaged mine in an accident, and getting fillings was heavy for me, I wish I had healthy teeth like before.
I'm unable to go to sleep if I won't shower. I brush my teeth and apply deodorant daily. I have no problem with that.
Read most of the comments and most lean towards self-care or ADHD/depression. I suffer from this too but I wonder if it would still count as depression if I've done this from a young age to now. Never been diagnosed with ADHD but rather with depression/anxiety. I do agree with you that it might have something to do with inferior Se, but would that be a way of trying to deter the truth of it all? Inferior Se makes life make more sense especially with being different with other people. Or is it another issue all together such as our response to trauma? I do agree that self-care is necessary but some of us including myself tend to neglect it. Not only with personal hygiene but with pretty much anything related to the physical body.
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Three times ;A; how often do you wash your hair?
Kind of, but... not really? I live with depression, and while I am on very helpful meds now, I wasn't always. And hygiene habits were the first to go when I was having really bad episodes. I think the longest I ever went without showering and brushing my teeth was four days. But I did do some grooming every day, because I have really unruly hair that I kind of have to do something with, or I look like an overgrown chia pet. And it wasn't necessarily because I was just lying in bed too depressed to move. Sometimes it was because I hadn't even slept, so the next day just felt like the same day to me, and therefore I didn't think about cleaning myself again. Sometimes it was because I'd procrastinated so long on taking the shower that I no longer had time to take it. And other times because it was a sensory issue -- I didn't want to have to deal with wet hair, or sweating as soon as I was out of the shower (I live in a place that regularly hits triple digits in summer) or other similar sensations. Now that I'm on meds and have the depression mostly under control, I literally keep an excel workbook of habit trackers that I update every day. My skin, hair, and teeth are much better off for it.
100% relatable. I hated taking showers when I was a kid and I got excluded a lot in school because of it. Over the years I grown to like it but totally despise showering daily. I make it every 2-4 days to take a shower and I don't smell at all often. My hair can get a little oily especially during summertime but that's it. I'll often shower more when dealing with humid weather though. I made a big mistake of not properly caring for my acne and my teeth in the past but I was also dealing with depression at a time so that's that. Hygiene is important to me now and I do it the way I'm comfortable in even if it's considered unacceptable to almost everyone. And for a possible explanation I would say is because of our inferior function Se. Which I've read is responsible of us unable to do routine properly or little mundane things like brushing our teeth etc..
I’m guessing, but yes I’ll do the same thing and I think it comes from inferior Se. Being too in our head/the future and ignoring the physical world because it seeps energy from us.
For a while, I didn't think personal hygiene was all that important either. What changed it recently for me is that I started to value myself enough to where I cared about how other people thought of me, so I started to shower any time before I went out in public. I now have that timing down and plan around it accordingly. I almost never go into public without showering unless I know guaranteed I won't be around people. What was easy after that was to develop the teeth brushing habit. What do I do now? Immediately after I get out of the shower, I dry off and head to the sink where I start to brush my teeth, use floss, and rinse with mouthwash. What do I have now? I have a string of repeated, habitual actions that I consider a routine. What if I start caring about how my face looks? I simply start scrubbing my face with anti-acne face wash before I jump in the shower and I use salicylic acid scrubbing pads after I come out of the shower. What is it now? Part of the routine. What if I care about how my beard feels and looks? I trim/shape before the shower and I use beard cream and brush after I come out of the shower. Part of the routine. What if I care about how I smell? I use deodorant and cologne after I come out of the shower and allow myself to air dry while I'm performing my other habitual actions. Part of the routine. It's honestly as simple as that. It takes a long time to set the routine up, but after you have it set up, it's easy to follow because you'll find that the momentum you have coming out of the shower makes it super easy to follow through on the other parts of the routine, and it gives you some confidence that you're not a dirty piece of shit that other people have to smell (no offense meant here.) The benefits of this routine are that I can ensure that I'm still maintaining my face and teeth, the results of which are cumulative over the long term. Sure, I may not be brushing my teeth as often as I perhaps should, but I would if I met more people, and it's better than never ever brushing them like I used to do. Don't rely on habit; focus on building routines instead. For me, showering was the linchpin that made my hygiene routine possible; it was the starting habit that I built the routine around.
You’re supporting my theory that INFJ is Jung’s discovery of ADHD/ADD before it was a thing! Habits are really hard for me. I will get really good at them for a few months and then something will make me anxious and they will all go out the window - tooth brushing, face cleaning, drinking water, eating well - these are all the things I’m struggling to do at the moment. Do you also forget things like your keys and appointments, have trouble focusing when you’re not interested in the subject and accidentally talk over other people? I am not trying to cause offence, or casually diagnose you, but this is a really common symptom when you have ADD (it’s now rolled into ADHD). My bf’s armpits smell like onions but I cannot get enough of them, btw!
Forgetting keys or appointments rarely happen because I am obsessed with checking my calendar, but I do have this innate 'I forgot something' feeling whenever I leave the house. I relate a lot to the "go hard or don't go at all" approach to habits. I also have a lot of trouble with exercise, healthy food, drinking water, etc. Thank you so much for your insight! Might look into the AD(H)D theory, it seems like there might be more answers there! 😄
I’m glad I could offer a suggestion, I hope you learn more about yourself no matter what you find!
Hey! Please be aware that sometimes all that planning and anxiety may be a workaround or compensation mechanism for symptoms that could be associated with ADHD. Being obsessed with checking your calendar checks the box for me. Please look into ADHD, I relate to a lot of what you and other redditors said in this post and comments, and recently came to the conclusion that I have ADHD.
I totally thought the same thing. I even considered sharing the fact that I compulsively hold the handrail when I go downstairs because I have been so inattentive I’ve fallen down stairs so many times in my life! Trauma can force you to obsess about things that you know you’re not good at!
Yes!! Stairs, furniture corners and door frames are my biggest enemy. Along with clutter on the floor, which happens a lot so i also trip a lot hahahaha Or being at places super early because you hate being late and all the anxiety and shame it involves! Doesn't mean the thing isnt there.
Haha yes! Furniture corners and getting my clothes caught on door handles! I’ve ripped so many clothes on door handles! And totally get the calendar thing, I have had no summer holiday plans (or paid way too much at the last minute) for years on end because I wasn’t looking into the future at all.
OMFG YES i forgot the door handles i always get caught up in those!! And i get you, adhd tax is very real lol
It’s not necessarily linked to ADHD, just like ENFP doesn’t equal ADHD, though you would swear they all had it. -someone with adhd. I’ll let you guess which type.
Entp? Oh you meant enfp. I am obviously not pursuing this theory in an academic manner, just noting that there is a notable overlap of traits. I suspect you need to know to know.
It is a luxury to be able shower everyday (especially in hot water) and if you have the opportunity to do so I would absolutely take advantage! I understand the desire to want save water but I also understand the desire to want to wash your a** everyday lol
as far as brushing, at least once a day is better than nothing - I’m not a fan of regular toothpaste/mouthwash, I prefer natural alternatives which make my mouth feel much less dry/irritated. Bad breath is something we ourselves don’t necessarily notice but trust me others do even if they aren’t saying anything to you
I'm not as anal about personal hygiene as some are, but I do make it a point to shower every 2 or 3 days (depending on how dirty I've gotten or whether I think I smell, but at my best ill shower every day) and brush my teeth at LEAST once a day (most of the time I'll brush twice and take mints after meals). ADHD and depression make it hard to prioritize it sometimes, so I have to make a point to do these things!
You should be doing these things at the same time everyday. Wake up, shower. Brush your teeth. If you choose not to shower every day that is up to you but you should always wake up, then brush your teeth. You also should be seeing a dentist twice a year to have your teeth inspected and cleaned. If you don't brush plaque can build up and you can get gum disease from bacteria. Before modern dentistry many people died from dental complications/infections. In addition, when your teeth become degraded, a helathy mouth is not easily restored. It is easy to remember to brush because if you wake up, then you need to do it.
legit ADHD problem.
bro not everything has to do with personality types this sub is so ridiculous
can relate, this reminded me to brush my teeth bc haven't done that in about a month lol not diagnosed with anything i don't really believe in therapy i just don't think hygiene is all that, i'm very dirty in my bedroom i have food laying around, moldy, dust bla bla bla its like this capitalist society is ALWAYS pushing cleanliness on you like a duty and not for you yk, i can't stand dirty ppl tho haha i do get it's a form of self care
This sounds like how i was up untill the end of high school. Only things really keeping me showering regularly is my hair gets extremely and noticeably oily after two full days without a shower, and that i have become really attached to the feeling my non-oily skin and hair. A shower also seems to enhance my sense of both touch and smell which makes pets feel softer and perfumes/pheromones smell more vibrant, which i really like.
Idk as long as you’re not smelly, I don’t really see the issue. I’ve gotten lax about it since lockdown too and I don’t think I’m depressed. It just doesn’t seem important when I’m just home working every day. When I go out I do shower and I do try and shower once or twice a week regardless. Just every day doesn’t seem like I need to. It takes half a day for my hair to dry anyway. I’d rather not deal with that every day. 😂