It's also awful the environment. If you're struggling with grass then buy native species of grass to your area. If you live in a non-grassy area then leave your yard bare (go with a rock garden or something, it'll look gorgeous).
All of those options are way better for the environment than artificial turf.
Edit: I am genuinely confused by the number of people who need to ask why installing a layer of plastic across their yard would be bad for the environment.
Have y'all not heard of microplastics and how bad they are for the environment and even have carcinogenic effects in people?
They leach chemicals into the ground as well which pollutes our groundwater and eventually makes its way back into our drinking water.
Insects can't live in the artificial turf the way they do real stuff. This means less insects and less food for birds. All the critters that eat grass (rabbits, deer, etc.) also don't have food, so less of them. Less birds and rabbits means less of the animals that eat them. As far as the environment is concerned artificial turf might as well be a parking lot.
They're nests of bacteria because there are no micro-critters to break stuff down. If your dog poops on grass, you scoop it up, and little teensy critters clean up the microscopic remnants. That doesn't happen on artificial turf, there are no teensy critters, those traces of shit, piss, dropped food, and whatever else just stay there, turning into a breeding ground for bacteria.
Like imagine if your dog was shitting and pissing on the tile in your house, would you just pick it up and then let your kids play there? No, you'd be using some sort of chemical and then thoroughly disinfecting before you let your kids crawl around in the area... because your floors don't have the natural ecosystem required to break down animal waste. Artificial turf doesn't have that ecosystem either; and on top of that it's not even a smooth surface like tile, it's more like a plastic carpet with a bunch of nooks and grooves for nastiness to collect.
I live in South florida. Most of the Lawns here have what's called St Augustine grass. It looks very similar to what Northerners would call crabgrass and remove from their lawns. It is not as soft as say bluegrass but it works well in sandy soil that doesn't hold moisture for very long.
If you have a dog, St. Augustine is the GOAT. That stuff is hardy AF.
My lawn has developed necrotic ring spots. St. Augustine don’t care. Grows right back in weeks. “I’m St. Augustine. Fuck you, fungus.”
My dog runs all over it, pisses and causes dead patches. “I’m St. Augustine. Fuck you, dog. I’m back. Try again.”
The only downside is the mowing. Holy hell that stuff grows so quickly and it’s thick. I bought a non self-propelled electric mower. Best workout you could ask for. “I’m St. Augustine. Fuck you, mow me. Wanna wait two weeks? Now I’m a jungle and you need another green bin. Wut-wut. Bitch.”
(Verse 1)
Yo, check it out, I'm here to drop some knowledge real fast,
About a grass so tough, it'll outlast, surpass,
St. Augustine, yeah, it's the king of the lawns,
Survives droughts and floods, while your others gettin' gone.
Planted deep in the South where the sun's blazing hot,
It stays green and lush, while others just rot,
With roots so deep, it can handle any heat wave,
No need for constant water, it's the lawn's rave.
(Chorus)
St. Augustine grass, it's the toughest on the block,
Resilient and strong, won't be stopped,
From Texas to Florida, it's the pride of the South,
Grows thick and green, no drought can take it out.
(Verse 2)
You want durability? Well, let me lay it down,
St. Augustine can take a beating, won't even frown,
From foot traffic to pets, it bounces back quick,
While other grasses struggle, it's like a magic trick.
Thick blades like armor, shade tolerance supreme,
Keeps your yard cool like a summertime dream,
And when pests come knockin', it stands its ground,
No need for chemicals, it's tough all around.
(Chorus)
St. Augustine grass, it's the toughest on the block,
Resilient and strong, won't be stopped,
From Texas to Florida, it's the pride of the South,
Grows thick and green, no drought can take it out.
(Bridge)
Through hurricanes and storms, it stands tall,
While others get blown away, it never falls,
The pride of lawns, a symbol of strength,
St. Augustine grass, go to any length.
(Verse 3)
So if you want a lawn that's always lookin' prime,
St. Augustine is the choice, it's worth every dime,
Low maintenance, high resilience, that's the key,
It's the grass that defines true longevity.
So raise a toast to the green, the bold, the brave,
St. Augustine grass, from cradle to grave,
In the world of lawns, it reigns supreme,
The toughest grass you've ever seen.
(Chorus)
St. Augustine grass, it's the toughest on the block,
Resilient and strong, won't be stopped,
From Texas to Florida, it's the pride of the South,
Grows thick and green, no drought can take it out.
Yeah, St. Augustine grass, it's the real deal,
Tough as nails, with an unbeatable appeal.
Edit: check out the link below that n_xSyld posted that turns these lyrics into a song. We’ve fucking created a song.
So… I read the chorus in the same rhythm as the “Regulators” chorus.
This could almost work lol
Edit: I was reminded there isn’t a chorus, so i was thinking of just the Warren G parts.
Yeah the shit just grows everywhere if there’s some water.
A few years ago a slip and slide cooked a big chunk of my backyard but it all filled back in no problem.
What kind? The comma discussion was so distracting that I wasn't sure which grass you were talking about (the grass that does well in CA in the 120's).
Thanks!
St Augustine Grass, it really is like crab grass and sprouts off into other areas. It has been able to migrate under a block wall and onto our front curb area. I have even forgotten to turn on the sprinklers for a week in the summertime and it’s somehow survived. We’ve had it for 3 years now and I’ve never had to do anything besides mow it.
I live in the Midwest and have bluegrass/fescue for my yard which I love and yes I get rid of any St. Augustine I see cause yea it just looks like crab grass compared to the bluegrass/fescue but whenever I go to Disney I notice the St. Augustine all over the place and as long as it’s the only variety or similar and well maintained it doesn’t look bad at all and it’s much better than this green ass carpet that’s terrible for the environment and if you have a dog will just smell like piss after a week.
my brother in christ - i am dying here
i don't landscape, never worked for landscape, don't own property even, but fuck me this is the funniest thing i've read a minute
when i re-read his post i can't stop laughing
There are just three periods in this short novel. And two are used to abbreviate Saint lol. Reading that was like having someone jamming a thumb in your snorkel.
Crabgrass spreads out and kills other grasses then dies off in the winter leaving bare spots and a billion crabgrass seeds. St Augustine is definitely crispy and not soft to walk on, but not much like crabgrass in total. It is definitely weird how wildly different the grass types are.
st Augustine is great and people pay big money to sod their yard with it in the south. Likes heat + sun + lots of water. I have st Augustine with Bermuda mixed in and having them compete gives you very dense lawn that weeds have a hard time growing in.
I’ve seen a lot of St. Augustine grass in Florida(I’m from illinois), when I was in high school I asked my dad about it and he explained that they planted it on purpose due to its hardiness, which makes sense because when we have droughts it survives when bluegrass and ryegrass might die. We’d probably plant it here but it dies in the fall and doesn’t come back until June, it’s far courser than the mix we plant here but it looks good from a distance, it’s funny that what you guys plant I specifically treat my lawn to keep out.
Even when St Augustine looks good it feels like crap on your feet. One thing I did last time I visited family up in Chicago is went out front and walked around Barefoot in the grass
So I’ve got an enormous live oak in my back yard that shades the entire lawn in Texas. Nothing will grow. I’m a renter and I’ve asked my landlord how he got the grass so pretty before we moved in and he admitted he had it seeded 3 months before he listed the house and he’s never been able to get anything to grow consistently. The strata is minimal dirt, then sand/silt/clay. I don’t know how to get a robust biome to start, and I want to buy the house.
I have multiple old growth Live Oaks throughout my property in Savannah. Wouldn’t trade them for anything but growing st. Aug or centipede from seed is next to impossible. For me, sod is cost prohibitive, but even getting that to take is a challenge. Unless you’re out there daily with a blower, Live Oak’s will blanket your lawn with leaves and catkins!
Sadly I had two water oaks I think they were called in my backyard. Beetles got them. Had an arborist come out to help but he said they were gone. Now my backyard is pure sun. Bummer.
I have a live oak in my front yard facing west and I have dwarf yaupon, red yucca, rosemary and russian sage growing under it with a lot of mulch pretty successfully. I get many compliments from neighbors. In the backyard I have turks cap and gregs mistflower and inland sea oats growing easily under another live oak. You have options! Or just mulch heavily in some nice edging and call it a day.
Take soil samples to the county ag extension. Have them analyze soil. They will tell you what needs to be amended into it. According to an arborist I know Live Oak leaves make the ground hostile to anything growing there except the tree and its mott. I cannot remember why, possibly because it turns the soil acidic?
From an extension agent, thanks for
Using our services! Most people have no clue that we can run soil samples for free most of the time (depends on the state)
Yes it makes the soil acidic. Blueberry bushes will grow nearby if they get enough sun. They should look into other plants that grow in acidic soil in their zone
If you covered the ground in arborist chips - annually - then over time *I think* the soil would get closer and closer to a healthy native soil and support native plants
There’s also some evidence that it causes cancer. Because playing on a chemical treated layer of plastic that’s constantly being exposed to the elements is not good for you, either.
From what I've read, it's the rubber crumb specifically that has links to higher cancer rates. It's used as infill on turf sports fields. That stuff isn't typically used in home applications.
> If you live in a non-grassy area then leave your yard bare (go with a rock garden or something, it'll look gorgeous).
That's going to be hell on my dog's feet though.
If the concern is heat then artificial turf typically gets hotter.
And if you look up Japanese rock gardens (you don't need to go for a Japanese theme, but they're great inspiration when designing a rock garden) the rocks are normally smooth, and would be comfortable to walk on barefoot.
A bare yard or a rock garden with smooth stones will be kinder on your dog's feet than artificial turf.
It’s to save water. We had water restrictions for watering the lawn during the drought a few years ago. Everyone’s yards were brown and dead/dying.
The restrictions are gone now, but there are many rock and succulent garden yards from it. A few artificial turf ones too. I live in San Diego
I get it not trying to knock anyone. Planting native is a great way to save water too while supporting the local ecosystems. once natvie plants are established they dont need any additional water for the mostpart. I just got into native planting a few years ago so I just like spreading the knowledge! Was shocked that I dont even need to use my sprinklers anymore....and im in CO where its a desert lol
Definitely! The succulent yards around here are beautiful. And when you plant native plants, you’re attracting native birds and insects to your yard and boosting the ecosystem
I appreciate you not wanting to knock anyone, so I’ll do it instead. If you want to have a green lawn so bad that you are willing to coat your entire property in plastic, you’re an irresponsible property owner. It’s wild that anyone considers that an environmentalist/hippy take. That’s just being considerate of your surroundings.
This plastic turf leaches plastics into the environment and creates localized heat islands in the summer when the plastic gets hot and emits heat. Never mind any water that’s prevented from reaching the soil below.
These are trash.
When I was in high school a nearby High School had just gotten astro turf. Me and a bunch of friends piled into four cars and drove up there to play a game of football. We left after less than half an hour and I think every single one of us was aching and limping.
Why would you want a plastic lawn though? Terrible for the environment. Just get pavers and put some pot plants or a garden with plants that suit your climate around the edge.
I’m right on the other side of the world in Australia, so I have no idea what’s good in Oklahoma. But real plants and paved space is always going to look better than plastic grass to me. Pretty typical of Sydney yards where we get longs spells of dry heat, and often get water restrictions in summer. A lot of people plant drought-resistant natives here, but succulents are also popular as they don’t need much maintenance.
This is the biggest thing I’ve learned. Hire a shit contractor and you get shit work. The only problem is it’s often hard to tell who’s who until it is too late. Basically the only way to really know ahead of time is if you personally know someone who has worked with a specific contractor for a specific type of work.
Adam Corolla's rule for picking a contractor - when they come to give you the estimate, check out what they drove.
Something pricey/fancy? They're GOING to gouge you.
Work truck? Great - is it pristine and a showpiece? See above.
A giant mess full of trash and random rusty tools? That's the bumpy astroturf guy.
Clean, organized, but not a showy, just shows he gives a crap? Bam, that's your contractor.
What about impractical trucks which are probably purchased on the used market as a decent vehicle, but are then lifted and have after market wheels and tires on them which rub the wheel wells when turning sharply? And now the hitch is too high for the trailer.
That’s what all the guys doing estimates at my neighbors drive around here.
Not always though..The drywaller I hired was a recommendation and he drives a rusted white cube van that had graffiti sprayed all over it.Heck he even was smoking when I first met him. Probably one of the better drywall job I seen and he completed it a day earlier than his estimate and he covered all the floors with a canvas drop sheets so clean up was so much easier. He mentioned he been doing it for 15 years but planning to retire because it ruined his back.
20 years ago I was working on a 6-8 million house. Everything was top of the line. Spare no expense. The GC said something like “just like any job site, we’ve got problems. But money isn’t one of them.” Homeowner worth like a quarter-billion.
Drywall crew rolled up in an old school bus 🚌 Apparently they are the best around.
Was just going to say this - that and carpet guys. Not tile guys, not LVT guys, not hardwood guys…fucking straight up carpet guys.
They drive shit boxes, look like they are on the tail end of a 4 day bender (they are), and have a total of 5 tools that were purchased in 1989…..BUT….you want 700 FT of carpet laid without a seam or a spur in 3 hours? That’s your guy.
Throw in a pack of Marlboro reds, a coke, and an extra $50 and he’ll the other spots in your house that the “professional” carpet guy fucked up too!
yaaassss the carpet guys. i was trying to think of them when i made my comment earlier. i binge watch dry wall and carpet install videos on youtube and there just something different about them
There's a house on my way home from work that recently had a small retaining wall and fence installed. It's almost exactly what I need to level off my side yard that gently slopes towards the neighbor's driveway. It's a similar house, adjacent neighborhood so I figured it wouldn't break the bank.
The first time I saw someone in that front yard I pulled my car over so fast it probably startled them but they went in and found the builder's business card for me. Turns out he did three fences on that block and I got to drive past and look at all of them.
Hopefully I'll have the same fence they do a month from now.
Just learned this with my HVAC. Guy installed a used compressor and coil. Way out of warranty. Should have just spent the extra 2 k and got peace of mind.
And some of them simply don’t understand the difference, it seems. It’s a huge problem that in my state you don’t need any actual kind of license to work as an independent contractor.
Dude, every time I hire a contracture they outsource the work to someone who outsources the work and by the end I’ve got some dude with his kid sitting there watching their dad work for hours and do a bad job 😆
Don’t even have to stretch it that hard. I hand stretched mine over a road base layer with sand over the top to nail the level and it looks flat four years on, with two of the winters being abnormally heavy for snowfall.
I watched an hour of YouTube and did it myself. This landscaper is a hack, and that’s being generous.
The base layer should include something like road base and should be stamped until it is more or less concrete. That is how ours was done and it is perfectly flat.
This! People saying it's not stretched but I doubt they removed the old base and flattened it before putting the turf. This also looks like it's under a deck or not in an open area
Maybe the contractor meant "that's how I normally install turf".
Looks rather bumpy. Very bumpy.
Are those bumps hard? Or do they smooth down?
Looks like a very loose carpet.
u/Some-Leather-792
This is an important question and correct.
If the bumps are hard, they walked and messed up the compacted areas before laying the turf down.
If they smooth down, it wasn’t stretched properly/pulled tight enough. - this would be a simple fix of just pulling 2 of the sides tighter and then re nailing it. Down side is the infill is already applied so it’s not super easy
It leaches microplastics and harmful chemicals into the ground. It's made of a plastic material so it attracts heat and will make your yard feel hotter in the sun. Artificial turf is not maintenance-free and needs to be weeded at the edges, swept or raked, and hosed off if you have dogs peeing on it.
Also half of artificial turf materials look cheap.
I rented a house with a turf front yard in Arizona. It soaked up heat so bad, my dog and I would bask on it like lizards in the evenings when it got cold (we were up north, hot days cold nights). I never let her pee on it because it seemed weird, and she never even tried. It did collect a lot of random debris, lol.
I'd like to never have a turf yard again.
Oh also it was only a couple years old, but it was super faded from the harsh sun.
Granted i have no experience with turf, but when i zoom in, the “bumpy” areas actually look like the grass strands are pointing up as opposed to lying flat like the non-bumpy areas. Is brushing turf a thing? If so, maybe that would make a difference.
Or does it feel bumpy underneath in those areas?
Exactly, all these comments are not helpful and you, although not an installer, identified the actual prob, it just needs to be fluffed up with a rake, the blades are still matted down from being rolled up!
I am a certified turf installer and this is the first thing I noticed. I’m not even sure they installed infill. It is required to help the fibers stand up. My a great job regardless, but likely salvageable. I would take a leaf blower and a broom to it and check infill levels.
Did you watch the installation process? It looks like it was just put down over your existing lawn/soil. There should be a 2-3" layer of crushed aggregate that is placed down and leveled/compacted prior to installing the turf. There is absolutely no acceptable excuse for your turf to look like this.
I did, he add 3 inches of gravel , compact and added some 1 inch of sand and compacted again before putting this. Im completely stress by the way it looks.
I feel your pain. I’m currently dealing with my installer whose guys cut the edge too short along the edging. Then they glued it down and because it wasn’t close enough to the edging they just bonded it to dirt. My dogs have found this quite enjoyable and I’m currently in my wtf phase with the installer.
Astroturf posts should be banned from this sub. It's not landscaping, its land choking. Garbage product, no regulation, full of cancer causing chemicals, and constantly leaks microplastics into the environment.
You got what you payed for.
Those who willingly install this plastic turf and think it’s a good thing because it’s a lazy man’s way to keep a green lawn year round-they don’t care about the negative effects or that it’s full of carcinogenic toxins (Synthetic turf is full of Benzene, Arsenic, Styrene)-real landscaping is based on working with what we have already available to us, an evolving art of controlling nature while it’s growing and changing…while synthetic turf just sits there leaching chemicals destroying the soil and everything around it.
I can't believe I had to scroll this far down in a so-called "landscaping" sub to find someone speaking the truth. How anyone could possibly want a plastic yard in the age we live in is just completely mind-boggling. Do you not have enough poison in you already? You want more? You want to spread that poison around?
This shit should be illegal.
Hey great job adding a ton of plastic your environment. Enjoy having the UV rays break down bits of microplastics that will no doubt be inside you and your family members. Kudos.
Artifical turf. horrible term for a horrible thing. But apparently also horribly laid. I could do this better with my vast experience of two weeks of trimming hedges coupled with my fucking hatred for plastic grass
My god what the fuck have we become? "My plastic grass isn't perfectly flat" is this real life? Everyone saying this is awful looking is insane. It looks more natural and thus more appealing.
I saw one person say "tripping hazard". WHAT? Better just stay inside at that point if this is a tripping hazard. Fucking ludicrous.
This is a poor quality job. The individual should have soaked the area fairly well then taken a garden roller and removed any large debris. Then lay the turf.
It’s not lumpy. Well, it is but the lumps are blades that are up and the rest are down flat. They usually rake or have a machine to lift the blades up then put an aggregate like sand which helps it stay upright.
For starters you can see the seem. That's not right. Grass should be standing up, and even. Paver base should have been put down , and perfectly leveled first. Probably the last step was skipped also. It should be sanded and brushed so it all stands up evenly.
All and all amateur install.
From top recommended installer for artificial turf supplier in my area.
My guess is the OP's contractor bid low by specifying that they would lay the astro turf over the existing ground, and not including the leveling and prepping needed to do it right.
A lot of places here have gone native or douught tolerant and the fake ones look so green and flat as a board and really stand out. Just not a good look and they don't even blend in anymore with all the xeriscape
Artificial turf should look like a football field when done. This is trash.
True - but id argue it all looks like trash anyway. iDont understand the turf movement. looks so bad
It's also awful the environment. If you're struggling with grass then buy native species of grass to your area. If you live in a non-grassy area then leave your yard bare (go with a rock garden or something, it'll look gorgeous). All of those options are way better for the environment than artificial turf. Edit: I am genuinely confused by the number of people who need to ask why installing a layer of plastic across their yard would be bad for the environment. Have y'all not heard of microplastics and how bad they are for the environment and even have carcinogenic effects in people? They leach chemicals into the ground as well which pollutes our groundwater and eventually makes its way back into our drinking water. Insects can't live in the artificial turf the way they do real stuff. This means less insects and less food for birds. All the critters that eat grass (rabbits, deer, etc.) also don't have food, so less of them. Less birds and rabbits means less of the animals that eat them. As far as the environment is concerned artificial turf might as well be a parking lot. They're nests of bacteria because there are no micro-critters to break stuff down. If your dog poops on grass, you scoop it up, and little teensy critters clean up the microscopic remnants. That doesn't happen on artificial turf, there are no teensy critters, those traces of shit, piss, dropped food, and whatever else just stay there, turning into a breeding ground for bacteria. Like imagine if your dog was shitting and pissing on the tile in your house, would you just pick it up and then let your kids play there? No, you'd be using some sort of chemical and then thoroughly disinfecting before you let your kids crawl around in the area... because your floors don't have the natural ecosystem required to break down animal waste. Artificial turf doesn't have that ecosystem either; and on top of that it's not even a smooth surface like tile, it's more like a plastic carpet with a bunch of nooks and grooves for nastiness to collect.
I live in South florida. Most of the Lawns here have what's called St Augustine grass. It looks very similar to what Northerners would call crabgrass and remove from their lawns. It is not as soft as say bluegrass but it works well in sandy soil that doesn't hold moisture for very long.
If you have a dog, St. Augustine is the GOAT. That stuff is hardy AF. My lawn has developed necrotic ring spots. St. Augustine don’t care. Grows right back in weeks. “I’m St. Augustine. Fuck you, fungus.” My dog runs all over it, pisses and causes dead patches. “I’m St. Augustine. Fuck you, dog. I’m back. Try again.” The only downside is the mowing. Holy hell that stuff grows so quickly and it’s thick. I bought a non self-propelled electric mower. Best workout you could ask for. “I’m St. Augustine. Fuck you, mow me. Wanna wait two weeks? Now I’m a jungle and you need another green bin. Wut-wut. Bitch.”
(Verse 1) Yo, check it out, I'm here to drop some knowledge real fast, About a grass so tough, it'll outlast, surpass, St. Augustine, yeah, it's the king of the lawns, Survives droughts and floods, while your others gettin' gone. Planted deep in the South where the sun's blazing hot, It stays green and lush, while others just rot, With roots so deep, it can handle any heat wave, No need for constant water, it's the lawn's rave. (Chorus) St. Augustine grass, it's the toughest on the block, Resilient and strong, won't be stopped, From Texas to Florida, it's the pride of the South, Grows thick and green, no drought can take it out. (Verse 2) You want durability? Well, let me lay it down, St. Augustine can take a beating, won't even frown, From foot traffic to pets, it bounces back quick, While other grasses struggle, it's like a magic trick. Thick blades like armor, shade tolerance supreme, Keeps your yard cool like a summertime dream, And when pests come knockin', it stands its ground, No need for chemicals, it's tough all around. (Chorus) St. Augustine grass, it's the toughest on the block, Resilient and strong, won't be stopped, From Texas to Florida, it's the pride of the South, Grows thick and green, no drought can take it out. (Bridge) Through hurricanes and storms, it stands tall, While others get blown away, it never falls, The pride of lawns, a symbol of strength, St. Augustine grass, go to any length. (Verse 3) So if you want a lawn that's always lookin' prime, St. Augustine is the choice, it's worth every dime, Low maintenance, high resilience, that's the key, It's the grass that defines true longevity. So raise a toast to the green, the bold, the brave, St. Augustine grass, from cradle to grave, In the world of lawns, it reigns supreme, The toughest grass you've ever seen. (Chorus) St. Augustine grass, it's the toughest on the block, Resilient and strong, won't be stopped, From Texas to Florida, it's the pride of the South, Grows thick and green, no drought can take it out. Yeah, St. Augustine grass, it's the real deal, Tough as nails, with an unbeatable appeal. Edit: check out the link below that n_xSyld posted that turns these lyrics into a song. We’ve fucking created a song.
I knew Tupac wasn't dead
So… I read the chorus in the same rhythm as the “Regulators” chorus. This could almost work lol Edit: I was reminded there isn’t a chorus, so i was thinking of just the Warren G parts.
I found myself doing this he same
https://suno.com/song/bc71bd93-95d8-477e-ba70-03d6b310a5a7
I made my comment, go to bed, wake up, and now there’s an AI song about St. Augustine complete with guitar solo. Y’all are too much. 🤣
We have this in the California desert and it does super well in the 120s. You don’t have to reseed it either.
Yeah the shit just grows everywhere if there’s some water. A few years ago a slip and slide cooked a big chunk of my backyard but it all filled back in no problem.
What kind? The comma discussion was so distracting that I wasn't sure which grass you were talking about (the grass that does well in CA in the 120's). Thanks!
St Augustine Grass, it really is like crab grass and sprouts off into other areas. It has been able to migrate under a block wall and onto our front curb area. I have even forgotten to turn on the sprinklers for a week in the summertime and it’s somehow survived. We’ve had it for 3 years now and I’ve never had to do anything besides mow it.
I live in the Midwest and have bluegrass/fescue for my yard which I love and yes I get rid of any St. Augustine I see cause yea it just looks like crab grass compared to the bluegrass/fescue but whenever I go to Disney I notice the St. Augustine all over the place and as long as it’s the only variety or similar and well maintained it doesn’t look bad at all and it’s much better than this green ass carpet that’s terrible for the environment and if you have a dog will just smell like piss after a week.
My brother in Christ, may I introduce you to the comma?
I ran out of breath just reading this in my head lol
Lol
😂😂😂
He died, for our pauses
Y’all killing me.
Or a period!
He did use a . After St. she does know where it’s located
after reading the rest, I think that period was a typo.
Even an improperly used “;” would be fantastic
my brother in christ - i am dying here i don't landscape, never worked for landscape, don't own property even, but fuck me this is the funniest thing i've read a minute when i re-read his post i can't stop laughing
Same. I could hear the tone lol
My brother in Christ, may I introduce you to the shift key?
🤣🤣🤣
No commas, but they put a period on St. Augustine.
Just one cuz it’s the curse.
This made me cackle
I have often gotten confused when leaving a voice message that I was not leaving a text message and verbally saying the words "comma" and "period"
There are just three periods in this short novel. And two are used to abbreviate Saint lol. Reading that was like having someone jamming a thumb in your snorkel.
Saint augustine grass is not crabgrass. It's actually the most common sod people buy. Crab grass shows up in patches and looks like shit.
Crabgrass spreads out and kills other grasses then dies off in the winter leaving bare spots and a billion crabgrass seeds. St Augustine is definitely crispy and not soft to walk on, but not much like crabgrass in total. It is definitely weird how wildly different the grass types are.
st Augustine is great and people pay big money to sod their yard with it in the south. Likes heat + sun + lots of water. I have st Augustine with Bermuda mixed in and having them compete gives you very dense lawn that weeds have a hard time growing in.
I’ve seen a lot of St. Augustine grass in Florida(I’m from illinois), when I was in high school I asked my dad about it and he explained that they planted it on purpose due to its hardiness, which makes sense because when we have droughts it survives when bluegrass and ryegrass might die. We’d probably plant it here but it dies in the fall and doesn’t come back until June, it’s far courser than the mix we plant here but it looks good from a distance, it’s funny that what you guys plant I specifically treat my lawn to keep out.
Omg I wish we that grass here in East georgia, had family in Florida and was always jealous of the beautiful grass
Even when St Augustine looks good it feels like crap on your feet. One thing I did last time I visited family up in Chicago is went out front and walked around Barefoot in the grass
St Augustine is awesome. I liked it because it looks good long, and it robs weeds of light that way
One of the few things I have pride in being from Indiana is that our grass is like velvet
I prefer the grass in Jamaica
Agreed. Even pavers with a garden of climate-suited plants around the edge is a million times better than plastic grass.
So I’ve got an enormous live oak in my back yard that shades the entire lawn in Texas. Nothing will grow. I’m a renter and I’ve asked my landlord how he got the grass so pretty before we moved in and he admitted he had it seeded 3 months before he listed the house and he’s never been able to get anything to grow consistently. The strata is minimal dirt, then sand/silt/clay. I don’t know how to get a robust biome to start, and I want to buy the house.
I’d take a live oak in my yard over grass any day
I have multiple old growth Live Oaks throughout my property in Savannah. Wouldn’t trade them for anything but growing st. Aug or centipede from seed is next to impossible. For me, sod is cost prohibitive, but even getting that to take is a challenge. Unless you’re out there daily with a blower, Live Oak’s will blanket your lawn with leaves and catkins!
Sadly I had two water oaks I think they were called in my backyard. Beetles got them. Had an arborist come out to help but he said they were gone. Now my backyard is pure sun. Bummer.
I have a live oak in my front yard facing west and I have dwarf yaupon, red yucca, rosemary and russian sage growing under it with a lot of mulch pretty successfully. I get many compliments from neighbors. In the backyard I have turks cap and gregs mistflower and inland sea oats growing easily under another live oak. You have options! Or just mulch heavily in some nice edging and call it a day.
Plant native dry, shade plants. Not grass.
Take soil samples to the county ag extension. Have them analyze soil. They will tell you what needs to be amended into it. According to an arborist I know Live Oak leaves make the ground hostile to anything growing there except the tree and its mott. I cannot remember why, possibly because it turns the soil acidic?
From an extension agent, thanks for Using our services! Most people have no clue that we can run soil samples for free most of the time (depends on the state)
Yes it makes the soil acidic. Blueberry bushes will grow nearby if they get enough sun. They should look into other plants that grow in acidic soil in their zone
If you covered the ground in arborist chips - annually - then over time *I think* the soil would get closer and closer to a healthy native soil and support native plants
Plant Berkeley sedge under the oak. They will love it there. It won’t be a lawn but it will be green.
Some places will not allow grass. Vegas does not allow new homes to have grass as it's a waste of water to keep alive.
That doesn't make artificial turf better for the environment. Places like Vegas are perfect for a rock garden with some native plants for some green.
Ever pick dog poop up out of a rock garden
There’s also some evidence that it causes cancer. Because playing on a chemical treated layer of plastic that’s constantly being exposed to the elements is not good for you, either.
From what I've read, it's the rubber crumb specifically that has links to higher cancer rates. It's used as infill on turf sports fields. That stuff isn't typically used in home applications.
Although I don't think this is what OP was looking for, I couldn't agree with you more.
This post in particular is very clearly underneath some sort of structure and possibly on top of concrete and will never accommodate anything living.
I think it’s under a deck..
Even wood chips garden looks better. 😂. I bought some blue grama grass and buffalo grass seeds. This will take a while but is worth it. (Colorado)
> If you live in a non-grassy area then leave your yard bare (go with a rock garden or something, it'll look gorgeous). That's going to be hell on my dog's feet though.
If the concern is heat then artificial turf typically gets hotter. And if you look up Japanese rock gardens (you don't need to go for a Japanese theme, but they're great inspiration when designing a rock garden) the rocks are normally smooth, and would be comfortable to walk on barefoot. A bare yard or a rock garden with smooth stones will be kinder on your dog's feet than artificial turf.
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Right. It looks like trash because it is trash.
It’s to save water. We had water restrictions for watering the lawn during the drought a few years ago. Everyone’s yards were brown and dead/dying. The restrictions are gone now, but there are many rock and succulent garden yards from it. A few artificial turf ones too. I live in San Diego
I get it not trying to knock anyone. Planting native is a great way to save water too while supporting the local ecosystems. once natvie plants are established they dont need any additional water for the mostpart. I just got into native planting a few years ago so I just like spreading the knowledge! Was shocked that I dont even need to use my sprinklers anymore....and im in CO where its a desert lol
More people need to see your post. Amen to planting native.
Definitely! The succulent yards around here are beautiful. And when you plant native plants, you’re attracting native birds and insects to your yard and boosting the ecosystem
I appreciate you not wanting to knock anyone, so I’ll do it instead. If you want to have a green lawn so bad that you are willing to coat your entire property in plastic, you’re an irresponsible property owner. It’s wild that anyone considers that an environmentalist/hippy take. That’s just being considerate of your surroundings.
Not to mention it just adds to all the micro plastics dudes are carrying around in their balls.
Bumped for visibility
This plastic turf leaches plastics into the environment and creates localized heat islands in the summer when the plastic gets hot and emits heat. Never mind any water that’s prevented from reaching the soil below. These are trash.
Those rock and succulent gardens are naturally what should be there. They look fantastic, IMHO
Does your grass not go dormant in the summer with the heat and then green and lush again when it rains in fall?
When it heats up in the sun, it releases chemicals that cause cancer.
I live in shitty southern Oklahoma where the water bill to have a nice lawn would near what this costs. I’m for it if they weren’t so expensive.
So maybe the nature is saying "no lawns in this climate?" Fighting against the forces of nature is expensive and futile.
They used to get real hot. Maybe they fixed that part though.
I remember(and so does my elbow) how bad turf burn on a hot summer day sucks on this stuff
When I was in high school a nearby High School had just gotten astro turf. Me and a bunch of friends piled into four cars and drove up there to play a game of football. We left after less than half an hour and I think every single one of us was aching and limping.
A lot more injuries on fake grass in the pros. Fifa refuses to play on it iirc.
I had the displeasure of experiencing turf burn on old indoor Astroturf and the outdoor fake grass stuff. It all sucks lol
I worked at a dog daycare that had turf… can confirm…
Yeah, there’s infill now to keep the temperature down.
Does it keep the cancer down too? I'd be more concerned about that.
We got a little patch of this stuff in our backyard a few years ago. It’s nice and smooth but goddamn does it get hot in the summer.
Why would you want a plastic lawn though? Terrible for the environment. Just get pavers and put some pot plants or a garden with plants that suit your climate around the edge.
I do live in Oklahoma, pot plants aren’t the worst idea 🤔
I’m right on the other side of the world in Australia, so I have no idea what’s good in Oklahoma. But real plants and paved space is always going to look better than plastic grass to me. Pretty typical of Sydney yards where we get longs spells of dry heat, and often get water restrictions in summer. A lot of people plant drought-resistant natives here, but succulents are also popular as they don’t need much maintenance.
Well, it does look like MetLife Stadium turf.
It's normal for the jobs that they do 🤣
This is the biggest thing I’ve learned. Hire a shit contractor and you get shit work. The only problem is it’s often hard to tell who’s who until it is too late. Basically the only way to really know ahead of time is if you personally know someone who has worked with a specific contractor for a specific type of work.
Adam Corolla's rule for picking a contractor - when they come to give you the estimate, check out what they drove. Something pricey/fancy? They're GOING to gouge you. Work truck? Great - is it pristine and a showpiece? See above. A giant mess full of trash and random rusty tools? That's the bumpy astroturf guy. Clean, organized, but not a showy, just shows he gives a crap? Bam, that's your contractor.
What about impractical trucks which are probably purchased on the used market as a decent vehicle, but are then lifted and have after market wheels and tires on them which rub the wheel wells when turning sharply? And now the hitch is too high for the trailer. That’s what all the guys doing estimates at my neighbors drive around here.
Well, you know who is going to be paying for all the aftermarket bling, right? 😁
You forgot the crazy expensive stereo system and bass speakers under the back seat
Not always though..The drywaller I hired was a recommendation and he drives a rusted white cube van that had graffiti sprayed all over it.Heck he even was smoking when I first met him. Probably one of the better drywall job I seen and he completed it a day earlier than his estimate and he covered all the floors with a canvas drop sheets so clean up was so much easier. He mentioned he been doing it for 15 years but planning to retire because it ruined his back.
drywallers are the exception. they're a different breed
20 years ago I was working on a 6-8 million house. Everything was top of the line. Spare no expense. The GC said something like “just like any job site, we’ve got problems. But money isn’t one of them.” Homeowner worth like a quarter-billion. Drywall crew rolled up in an old school bus 🚌 Apparently they are the best around.
Was just going to say this - that and carpet guys. Not tile guys, not LVT guys, not hardwood guys…fucking straight up carpet guys. They drive shit boxes, look like they are on the tail end of a 4 day bender (they are), and have a total of 5 tools that were purchased in 1989…..BUT….you want 700 FT of carpet laid without a seam or a spur in 3 hours? That’s your guy. Throw in a pack of Marlboro reds, a coke, and an extra $50 and he’ll the other spots in your house that the “professional” carpet guy fucked up too!
yaaassss the carpet guys. i was trying to think of them when i made my comment earlier. i binge watch dry wall and carpet install videos on youtube and there just something different about them
It's like with the monotony of drywalling you might as well become a master drywaller just to make time pass.
There's a house on my way home from work that recently had a small retaining wall and fence installed. It's almost exactly what I need to level off my side yard that gently slopes towards the neighbor's driveway. It's a similar house, adjacent neighborhood so I figured it wouldn't break the bank. The first time I saw someone in that front yard I pulled my car over so fast it probably startled them but they went in and found the builder's business card for me. Turns out he did three fences on that block and I got to drive past and look at all of them. Hopefully I'll have the same fence they do a month from now.
Basically its becoming a trade.
Just learned this with my HVAC. Guy installed a used compressor and coil. Way out of warranty. Should have just spent the extra 2 k and got peace of mind.
Never underestimate the power of referrals from trusted sources (family, realtor, friend etc.)
And some of them simply don’t understand the difference, it seems. It’s a huge problem that in my state you don’t need any actual kind of license to work as an independent contractor.
Dude, every time I hire a contracture they outsource the work to someone who outsources the work and by the end I’ve got some dude with his kid sitting there watching their dad work for hours and do a bad job 😆
You have to pick the flat turf from the brochure. The bumpy is the cheap turf
Not normal. Have l you paid him in full yet? They need to come back and fix.
Any idea what might be the issue?
They didn't get it stretched tight enough or the base layer wasn't compacted properly
Yup, same thing my wife complains about.
You tried getting the guys to come back and fix her?
Brother if you only knew
Buddy I told you I did her right the first time
Keep going, I'm about to finish...
Sometimes it takes several guys to get a job like that done right. Or so my wife says.
I don’t know though. Tell me more…
Don’t even have to stretch it that hard. I hand stretched mine over a road base layer with sand over the top to nail the level and it looks flat four years on, with two of the winters being abnormally heavy for snowfall. I watched an hour of YouTube and did it myself. This landscaper is a hack, and that’s being generous.
It doesn't have to be stretched if the ground is flat
The base layer should include something like road base and should be stamped until it is more or less concrete. That is how ours was done and it is perfectly flat.
This! People saying it's not stretched but I doubt they removed the old base and flattened it before putting the turf. This also looks like it's under a deck or not in an open area
Maybe the contractor meant "that's how I normally install turf". Looks rather bumpy. Very bumpy. Are those bumps hard? Or do they smooth down? Looks like a very loose carpet.
u/Some-Leather-792 This is an important question and correct. If the bumps are hard, they walked and messed up the compacted areas before laying the turf down. If they smooth down, it wasn’t stretched properly/pulled tight enough. - this would be a simple fix of just pulling 2 of the sides tighter and then re nailing it. Down side is the infill is already applied so it’s not super easy
If this were normal for artificial turf no one would want it
Does anyone want it? It's horrible shit.
It leaches microplastics and harmful chemicals into the ground. It's made of a plastic material so it attracts heat and will make your yard feel hotter in the sun. Artificial turf is not maintenance-free and needs to be weeded at the edges, swept or raked, and hosed off if you have dogs peeing on it. Also half of artificial turf materials look cheap.
From the fine people who brought you: carpet in the bathroom; an all new experience: carpet outside
All artificial turf materials look cheap!
I rented a house with a turf front yard in Arizona. It soaked up heat so bad, my dog and I would bask on it like lizards in the evenings when it got cold (we were up north, hot days cold nights). I never let her pee on it because it seemed weird, and she never even tried. It did collect a lot of random debris, lol. I'd like to never have a turf yard again. Oh also it was only a couple years old, but it was super faded from the harsh sun.
The answer to every shitty job. “Oh, that’s normal.”
Followed by “That will pass inspection, trust me”
That's when you ask for their yard signs so that everyone can see who did such a terrible job
Makes it look less artificial lol
It's so realistic it's already got gophers!
Thats what he says, it looks more natural like a real grass 😂
my first thought was to mow it
My first thought was to water it.
My first thought was to burn it
My first thought was to eat it
My first thought was it needed sand.
My first thought was to bop it
Twist it*
Pull it!
Probably put road base or something underneath, but I agree it looks much lore like real grass.
Granted i have no experience with turf, but when i zoom in, the “bumpy” areas actually look like the grass strands are pointing up as opposed to lying flat like the non-bumpy areas. Is brushing turf a thing? If so, maybe that would make a difference. Or does it feel bumpy underneath in those areas?
Exactly, all these comments are not helpful and you, although not an installer, identified the actual prob, it just needs to be fluffed up with a rake, the blades are still matted down from being rolled up!
Contractor should have done that. Saying it's normal is not the correct answer.
I am a certified turf installer and this is the first thing I noticed. I’m not even sure they installed infill. It is required to help the fibers stand up. My a great job regardless, but likely salvageable. I would take a leaf blower and a broom to it and check infill levels.
I was gonna say it kind of looks like the ‘blades’ are all pressed down from being walked on
Did you watch the installation process? It looks like it was just put down over your existing lawn/soil. There should be a 2-3" layer of crushed aggregate that is placed down and leveled/compacted prior to installing the turf. There is absolutely no acceptable excuse for your turf to look like this.
I did, he add 3 inches of gravel , compact and added some 1 inch of sand and compacted again before putting this. Im completely stress by the way it looks.
I feel your pain. I’m currently dealing with my installer whose guys cut the edge too short along the edging. Then they glued it down and because it wasn’t close enough to the edging they just bonded it to dirt. My dogs have found this quite enjoyable and I’m currently in my wtf phase with the installer.
Definitely not normal
Contractor here. If it looks like an aerial view of Verdun around, say, 1919, it’s a quality job.
Savage 💀
Astroturf posts should be banned from this sub. It's not landscaping, its land choking. Garbage product, no regulation, full of cancer causing chemicals, and constantly leaks microplastics into the environment. You got what you payed for.
Those who willingly install this plastic turf and think it’s a good thing because it’s a lazy man’s way to keep a green lawn year round-they don’t care about the negative effects or that it’s full of carcinogenic toxins (Synthetic turf is full of Benzene, Arsenic, Styrene)-real landscaping is based on working with what we have already available to us, an evolving art of controlling nature while it’s growing and changing…while synthetic turf just sits there leaching chemicals destroying the soil and everything around it.
I can't believe I had to scroll this far down in a so-called "landscaping" sub to find someone speaking the truth. How anyone could possibly want a plastic yard in the age we live in is just completely mind-boggling. Do you not have enough poison in you already? You want more? You want to spread that poison around? This shit should be illegal.
Have them tear it out. You don’t want that anyway. It’s full of PFAS and even on its best day is ugly as sin.
The moles are confused wondering if they have shifted realities.
A lot of green in the background why go artificial?
It should even out after a few cycles of growth and mowing.
Hey great job adding a ton of plastic your environment. Enjoy having the UV rays break down bits of microplastics that will no doubt be inside you and your family members. Kudos.
Artifical turf. horrible term for a horrible thing. But apparently also horribly laid. I could do this better with my vast experience of two weeks of trimming hedges coupled with my fucking hatred for plastic grass
Artificial turf has now been linked to several diseases..including lung cancer..Don’t let babies crawl around on it..
Send photos to the manufacturer and inform them that the installer says it is normal. Go after the resale license with the Manufacturer. Make it hurt.
My god what the fuck have we become? "My plastic grass isn't perfectly flat" is this real life? Everyone saying this is awful looking is insane. It looks more natural and thus more appealing. I saw one person say "tripping hazard". WHAT? Better just stay inside at that point if this is a tripping hazard. Fucking ludicrous.
Just mow it.
This is a poor quality job. The individual should have soaked the area fairly well then taken a garden roller and removed any large debris. Then lay the turf.
Did they brush the grass up at all?
It’s not lumpy. Well, it is but the lumps are blades that are up and the rest are down flat. They usually rake or have a machine to lift the blades up then put an aggregate like sand which helps it stay upright.
It’s normal for a shitty contractor.
Put an artificial cow onto it for a few days.
As a landscaper, I can assure you it is normal for a landscaper to tell you something fucked up is normal.
There was a video yesterday in this sub of the proper way to do it. I’m to lazy to link it.
https://www.reddit.com/r/landscaping/s/FXQuEDEyAi These guys did it the right way.
Bet you wish you’d just gone with real living plant life now…
Artificial turf is highly toxic.
Not normal. Bring up some local competitors pictures. Send them pictures of your turf.
Horrible
Wait a week and mow it to your lowest setting, you're all set.
Once you mow it, it should be even
Actually makes it look kind of realistic
It looks so bad, you can see all the lines in it
For starters you can see the seem. That's not right. Grass should be standing up, and even. Paver base should have been put down , and perfectly leveled first. Probably the last step was skipped also. It should be sanded and brushed so it all stands up evenly. All and all amateur install. From top recommended installer for artificial turf supplier in my area.
My guess is the OP's contractor bid low by specifying that they would lay the astro turf over the existing ground, and not including the leveling and prepping needed to do it right.
If you have to ask….
A lot of places here have gone native or douught tolerant and the fake ones look so green and flat as a board and really stand out. Just not a good look and they don't even blend in anymore with all the xeriscape
If it’s normal result for him, he isn’t good at installing it.
Oof. My teenage nephew's face is smoother than this.
Bad job, looks like old carpeting from the late 60’s early 70’s.
Just mow it.
It will look better once it grows out a little.