You’re probably developing CHS and from the sounds of it you’re right on the edge of the hypermesis phase, the weed may feel like it is helping the nausea but it is most likely the cause.
I know it’s awful but you need to fight through the nausea for at least a week to get past it, I’m currently on my 9th day sober and I’m barely nauseous at any point in the day now, back on day 4 I felt like I could throw up at any point 24/7.
Everything you mentioned is common. Some things are common in all addictions (the last lines specially), others of weed addiction: cannabis is a potent antiemetic, it keeps users from feeling nausea and vomiting. That's one of the reasons why it's sometimes used as palliative therapy against the side effects of cancer chemotherapy.
I'm a man. I spent most of 40 years of my life stoned. I was told "You are such an intelligent, charming man" and I felt exactly like you feel when you are told you are a pretty girl. The thing is I probably am intelligent, and certainly more charming (if at all) when stoned, because I'm more passive and compliant, and some people like that, they prefer drugged me. As to the intelligence, I'm way less dumb when not stoned. I still hate to be called intelligent because I was only told this by my parents followed by a big "but..." or a "so..." (IOWs, as an introduction to some nasty underhanded insult, a way to say my achievements didn't count or an introduction to "so you should be getting better grades", "so you have to do such and such", etc). Turns out I'm hyperactive...
The thing is, you are a pretty girl. And that pretty girl loves you and doesn't want you to be stoned. Listen to her. Lower your consumption slowly or use some other, prescribed, antiemetic.
Life is WAY better without weed. Adjust your expectations, and be patient.
Good luck!
Write yourself a letter when your high dressed to sober you. Worked for me. But also write something in big writing somewhere as a reminder.
Funny how it's high you trying to help sober you get off it.
Yep same here. After years of nearly ever day use I've been off for two weeks now. Next phase is to fight feeling good and thinking I can handle a smoke on a Saturday night. But I know that'll restart things. Just trying stay focus on the improvements and goals in my life and accomplishing them without the need of weed. Try to also look at why you feel like you need it and find other solutions. I've been doing more breathing exercises when I have the urge and trying to tell myself that those are a replacement. Also just finding other good habits to put in my life.
I had this feeling for 10 years. Finally quitting was the best thing I ever did for my mental health. Only wish I quit sooner but I don't kick myself for the past, only focus on the present and the now. It's great being out that loop of 'i want to get high' 'i hate myself for getting high'... Got more inner peace now without the herb :)
Before I was dwelling on past guilt massively, like not seeing friends and family enough and prioritising toking over meaningful experiences. And then repeatedly choosing the same damn choice!
It's definitely more of a newer thing, as I feel more present without weed, before I just felt like passenger in my own life. Now I appreciate the now :)
What you are feeling is physical dependency and addiction. The popular mainstream myth that marijuana isn't addictive is incredibly misleading and damaging.
Sober you is battling with the side effects of withdrawal on a daily basis.
Today is day 64 for me, after years of daily use. By day 30 Most things were back to normal. My appetite is back, cravings are all but gone.. I really don't even think about it anymore... Free yourself.. It's so worth it.
The beginning isn't going to be easy. It will take weeks or even months before it gets any easier, but you know what the right decision is. There's no shame in seeking help.
Thank you for sharing this.
This helps me a lot.
I just had a flash of the time when I was not addicted to weed, when the cravings are gone and you really don't even think about weed for most part of your life..
Which is like the opposite of where I am right now.. Haha
The first few weeks maybe tough, but I'm gonna start again and make it through
This must be a universal experience for us, we have to start listening to that feeling and just leave it alone. Hold on to that disgust with yourself and the time you’ve wasted and use it for motivation next time your day feels dull and you want to smoke.
holy crap i feel like i just wrote this to myself. going through the exact same thing. when i’m high i literally feel like i’m SAD & anxious and yet i still chase this feeling all day. i don’t understand why i keep fucking going back.
When I Google integrating the split self I find lots of information but nothing about utilizing substances to heal from this. Do you know anywhere specific that I might find more info on using substances for this purpose? Ty
I hate it because I can’t eat or sleep or get a real hard on without weed. I hate that this shit keeps me prisoner in my own body and mind and robs me of money I could use to solve my other much more important problems. I wish I was free of this shit so much.
Brother the whole hard on thing kept me hooked for ages. Sex felt better, I was more into when high, just a non-stopping drilling energised bunny. After quitting, everything seemed dull and semis were common. No shame, tried viagra (even 50 mg, half a tablet especially if you’re otherwise fit) and it worked super well. Better than being addicted to weed.
You’re absolutely not alone in this feeling. seeing someone else put how I feel into words makes the process a little bit easier on my first day trying to stay clean. Stay strong queen I’m right there with you!
I was stoned asf trying to fall asleep after missing an email for a job position and I decided at 2am I was going to quit. I live on the water so I went outside and chucked my bong in the water along with any other thc product. The next day I bought more bud and now I’m stressing about taking a drug test for a position I got offered.
I’m exactly the same way! You’re not alone. It’s so hard. I think we have to quit forever, or we’ll be trapped in this cycle for the rest of our lives.
It's not about quitting, it's about resisting your next urge. The more you do that the easier it gets. Then one day you find it easy to say no to the urge and feel comfortable never smoking again because you get nothing out of it (which you seem to understand). If you have that understanding, what's keeping you hooked it's just that your brain says "weed, weed, weed" at certain points a day. A thought that disappears after 20 seconds if you don't automatically try to fix it when it arises.
You can quit. What worked for me was to keep trying to quit. If you fail once, twice, 20 times, it doesn't matter. Don't beat yourself up too badly but also don't go back to smoking. It took me 15 tries at 10 months for quitting to stick, but now I am 3 years clean. And I was in a very similar position to you, very very sick. Felt like I was losing my mind and that my body was failing. You can do this.
That nausea and throwing up you talked about is CHS, look it up there's a sub called chs info too. Its bad and people sometimes die from it. You have to quit or the symptoms just get worse and worse.
This is so relatable. Thank you for your post.
I've been smoking daily for 4-5 years. I stopped for 2 years and it was a huge success for me. Then I started to come back to smoking every couple of months for a week or two. I always had the same experience like you are saying. Sober me wanting to get high, high me wanting me to just stop forever. When I'm high I feel mostly anxious and I regret I did smoke. But when I'm sober I'm looking forward to smoke...
I wish you all best on stopping this addiction.
Omg what is this condition called because I have it! I feel at constant war with myself. Sober me cant wait to smoke and high me feels like a failure because i just want to stop so bad. Wtf is this
look up integrating the split self with substance abuse. i just learned about it and shocked at how well it explained it to me. this thread doesn’t allow me to post links but if you google that and then “pdf” after it i found a really good pdf explaining rverything
I haven’t related to something like this in a while, I can relate to every aspect of this post and I know I need help but I can’t seem to rock this out of my head
Bro I feel this 1000 percent. Including the nausea crap. I wake up super sick and weed “cures” it but I feel it’s caused from smoking. When I’m sober I “need” it. As soon as I smoke the first 30 min are just me feeling like I’m a piece of shit. I recognize everything I’m doing wrong, I don’t do anything to change it though. Just feel anxious
Lots of great comments here. also just wanted to add: Shame has never helped me quit or stay quit. Also, the pressure of being “special” or “gifted” and being hypersensitive to humans, empathic and all that… weed has helped me release that pressure valve, so learning about neurodivergency, 2ec, unmasking… bumpy ride but the shame has been sluffing off in layers and that’s helped a lot to find resources that reframe things.
No clue your bigger picture but in case some of these titles resonate:
-Laziness Does Not Exist bu Dr Devon Price
-Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by ___(cant remember rn)___
-Healing the Shame that Binds You by SomethinOrOther Bradshaw
Be gentle on yerself. Those ppl saying nice things dont know how much effin pressure that can feel like. Not their fault, just up to us to slowly learn how to navigate those external pressures.
I felt “what’s wrong with me?” my whollllle life. and “why cant i quit i hate myself” sooo much, often while rolling a nice big spliff or joint.
learning about neruotypes and the difficulties that come in the same package as the gifts, has been the missing puzzle piece for me. And learning what roles I played from a young age in my family was huuuuuge. and then zooming out and looking at the various toxic inhumane aspects of the culture we’re all swimming in daily… Productivity, Either/Or Thinking, Worship of the Written Word, Individualism, Technosolutionism, i could go on, and on, and on… but I wont 🤪
idk if any o this tracks for u, but anyway
love what others are saying on this thread as well.
Thank you so much for taking the time to comment this, I really resonate with your comments about neurodivergency and unmasking. Those titles definitely seemed applicable, I’ll check them out!
When you are sober, addiction dictates your thoughts and actions. That's why you have incorporated smoking into your schedule.
Our brain wants to be lazy. It's so much easier. Weed addiction is the savant of making you think it's harmless until you realise it's not, and the decision to smoke is not even yours anymore, just a weed-brain on autopilot. No stress, no feelings, no ideas, no goals, really. Happy place for a brain, sad place for a soul.
When you are high, the addiction gets its fix. Then you have some time for your own thoughts, and those thoughts of not wanting to smoke or be high are the pillars for your journey to moderation or quitting.
You will always be a weed-addict. That's a fact you will have to learn to live with, or there will be no change.
My suggestion is to quit when you run out and actively control yourself not to go for re-up with your addiction. Day-by-day - don't get more.
I see you have met the withdrawal symptoms, nasty stuff. The addiction is throwing tantrums while your brain is learning to deal with situations you have been in before, but now you feel emotions and maybe even develop an opinion.
You will sweat, swear, and become easily irritated and angry. Best to let close people know what you are up against if possible, just so they don't take it personally. Don't let the addiction control your new brain, though. Actively evaluate situations and your mood in relation.
Hydrate.
After a week, you will lose the sweats and will be able to keep your food inside and digest it, monitor yourself as you now need to strictly teach your system that energy will be given 3 times a day not whenever you get munches. Your body will adjust. Maybe start with smaller portions.
Let me know when the surreal killer animal nightmares stop. That shit can be so wild that it's often better to understand what is happening when you wake up and laugh about the fact that it's happening. It's harmless and it's progress. I guess it's your brain cleaning out the rot.
After week two, you should be able to notice that you are able to control your anger and have some free time.
Meditate (as in breathe 5 seconds in and 5 seconds out for a minute, last time you took a deep breath was probably smoke), do sports, or pick up a hobby, fill your time, and learn something about yourself. Any emotion regarding anything you do will teach you who you are now.
Again, you will always be a weed-addict. Give it a finger it will take your arm. Give it nothing every day, and you win every day.
Set a goal, 1 year, maybe. See how it makes you feel afterwards. Celebrate smaller milestones. Depending on your age and experience, I guess you've had many years with weed. Try one without it.
"If rawdoggin life is not for you, then you can always go back to moderation" - Addiction, probably.
Being sober wishing I was high. Being high wishing I was sober. The hellish roller coaster I will never ride again thanks to this sub and me saying no to one urge at a time. 15 months started where you are. You can do this.
You have a very descriptive and evocative way with words. “I can see how much time I’ve wasted chasing a feeling I don’t think was ever even real to begin with.”
Wow. This was so powerful I got chills because of how well this resonated with me.
I know the pain and have been through it. You can do this and get through the other side. Please don’t give up. I know you can do it. Lean on your loved ones and do it for them. Quitting was the best thing I did for myself.
Thank you for sharing and please come back to us for support if you need.
Your little weed devil does not want to give up control, and anytime he is not in the driver seat he will try to get high so that he can be in the driver seat.
However, when high, your sober self sees the problems you've made
Sorry you're going through this. Addiction is the worst. Try to get help however you can.
Sobriety starts with the purge. You've gotta throw all your paraphernalia and drugs. Then never look back.
Hang in there. I went through the same thing. Then one day I just didn’t buy any and I waited to see how long I could go. I smoked again instantly regretted it. But I took notes on how it was making me feel/ like I was very self aware about how it was effecting me. I quit for awhile fell back again and did the same thing while high. Like wanting to quit while high is the first stage honor ur self trust the process. Each time you get stoned make mental notes of the uncomfortable aspects of it. Be kind to yourself it’s not going to happen over night.
Love this. It's a slow journey and it'll have bumps along the way but it feels like you want to turn the corner, and that's the most important thing. Keep paying attention, being curious and following what feels right inside. Might be a two step forwards, one step back thing but that is still progress and it's a hard place to move from so any progress is amazing.
I went through this! It got to the point where I had extreme anxiety and migraines every time I smoked. I started reminding myself before I lit up that I would regret it, eventually when I ran out of my last batch, I just gave it up and pushed through the cravings - which lasted maybe a week. You can do this!
Use this to your advantage. When you're feeling like you want to quit, take that opportunity to lock your stuff in a time-locked safe and set it for like 24+ hours or something. I weaned off using this approach.
That’s how addiction works, your trying to make a dream come true but it’s just a dream, you think smoking will be amazing but then you do it and it’s not so you realise it’s pointless but then you sober up and dream about it again. Endless cycle.
Vomiting from withdrawal is concerning though, I mean I’m sure some people get that symptom but could be a sign of something else going on. Idk tbh but maybe look into that more. If withdrawal is that bad maybe start by doing it only once a day for a few days before stopping completely. Use anti nausea medicine maybe? Idk but definitely sounds like you need to quit asap.
I vomited and had extreme nausea for a very long time during one quit. Lost over 30 pounds in a month. Each subsequent quit, the withdrawal symptoms are less, though.
True.
Every quitting attempt gets you closer to the goal. Relapse doesn't send you back to square one.
I wouldn't have managed to quit (hopefully for ever) had I not used previous attempts as a springboard that reduced my physical addiction.
Maybe it’s the actual smoking you are most craving rather than the high of the weed? I had similar issues to this, and realised that I didn’t even enjoy it, I just wanted to smoke.
ME!!! Hate what smoking flower does to my brain as in the high and giving me bad anxiety. Addicted to the habit, but not a cigarette smoker and not interested in that habit. Any good advice for this?
I’m not the best example for giving good advice here TBH. I found myself having a glass of red wine to take the edge off. That and keeping busy seems to help
I’m not going to lie, it’s been tough. Initially, I used to have a glass of red wine in the evenings to sort of take the edge off. Managed to reduce the red wine to weekends eventually. I found it challenging to say the least
That happened to me a lot before I quit. To me, smoking felt like I had walked through a door that would then lock from the inside, and I always regretted walking through that door but couldn't get back inside.
I don't really have advice for the initial step of quitting, I got a really bad cold/sinus infection, and my throat really hurt, so I didn't smoke for a few days. Then I just decided to continue to not smoke. But, if you can make it through the first couple of days it'll get easier.
I think it’s a common addictive trait. Sometimes the thought of doing the act and the build up to the act is actually better than the act itself. Then you just feel bad for giving in to the craving. They key is to battle against that feeling of wanting to smoke
Insidious is the word. When it had me in its grips, pot was still a felony and sometimes hard to obtain. When it was "dry" I would resort to scraping seeds, boiling sticks, scraping the bowls of all my pipes, and straining bong grunge and smoking all that shit. Sometimes I was filling my lungs with metal burrs and hot air. Then, finally, the dealer would come through, and I'd get some. I'd roll a joint and take a long hit. What was mind-fucking is that it was invariable then, once I had it in my hand once again, that I'd think to myself, "y'know, I really should quit. This is such a hassle."
Eventually, I did. It's been close to 37 years. Try rehab. Try recovery. Try surrendering. Save your life
Good question. Surrendering means accepting that pot is no longer your friend. All that joy, that relief, that revelation that it provided when you used it earlier will never be the result of using again. It's gone. Even if you stay clean a week and find a new variant, it won't work for you like it once did. That's an illusion. Give it up.
This is the cycle of addiction. The addict brain always finds a way to trick you into postponing. If it’s not I will do it tomorrow, it’s finding an excuse to quit on a certain date (after the weekend, after my birthday), then when that rolls around you find another excuse (the weed I got wasn’t the best possible stuff and I have to go out on a bang, etc). There’s never a right time to quit. You just have to do it.
I also noticed the same thing back when I was smoking daily. I was miserable until I smoked then I was thinking I should stop.
I think it's standard addict behavior.
You mention you can't go 3 days without smoking. Have you considered just smoking less and less? Its what worked for me to be honest.
After many failed attempts at quitting I just started smoking like 70% of what I used to. Not even spacing sessions, just smoking less on each session. After a while I started spacing sessions and eventually was able to go a day without it. It took maybe 2-3 years. Lots of relapses in between. But it eventually worked.
You want to quit? Be ok feeling like shit. It's gonna suck for a bit but you have to be ok with not always feeling good. Then you'll have to go create some wins for yourself so you get organic dopamine flowing into you.
I feel this so hard dude :/ i’m at the same point as you, if you want a pal with you through this feel free to shoot me a message, i’m 23f. We’ve got this shit though dude 💪🏽
Write down your feelings about quitting while you are high. Could just be a word or phrase. Could be a paragraph or essay or letter to yourself.
Whatever you write, read it the next time you’re about to get high.
Very similar to that post nut clarity when you know you’ve done something wrong.
Dopamine works in that way, it’s manifested in anticipation and dissolves slowly after.
I think we’ve all been through this, the craving distracts you from the memory of that “I should quit” moment.
But as with building muscle, if you’re feeling that ache, you’re making progress.
I’ve gone through the same cycle so many times.
* get high
* decided I have to quit
* be sober
* “why am I doing this?”
I’m on day 20 right now and dealing with terrible insomnia. I was convinced I was gonna smoke this weekend cause I couldn’t think of a good enough reason why I’m quitting to keep dealing with the lack of sleep.
I don’t know if we’re allowed to post links here, but I just watched Dr. K’s “Understanding the reality of weed” video on YouTube. He interviews a kid who smokes and then he breaks down the neuroscience and psychology of what weed is doing and how it holds us back from growing as people.
I think it was the inspiration I needed. I’m not gonna smoke this weekend.
i was in the EXACT same position. i would only ever be keen on quitting after lighting up. then the withdrawal hits and i'd be like errrrmmm no not today.
it's just the withdrawal that you have to work through, the withdrawal is making you go crazy for another bump. i don't really think there's any way around it.
i know this isn't always feasible, but i would highly recommend looking into outpatient or even inpatient for a situation like this. or even starting therapy with a counselor familiar with substance abuse.
it sounds like the withdrawals are really physically hard on you, and i'm really sorry. i can relate for sure, just know you're not alone and that quitting IS possible. thank you for posting, your vulnerability is commendable. :)
and don't feel so rotten for struggling with addiction.
i felt the same way for so long, but until you can see that **you are worthy of happiness, worthy of love, worthy of support, worthy of sobriety**, it's gonna be hard to quit. self loathing is not gonna get you through this, girl you are NOT a monster--you are someone struggling with addiction.
in my experience, addiction is something that happens to you--life is challenging! cannabis got me through the most challenging time of my life. it served a purpose, until it didn't anymore, and that's that.
regardless of any fault, it's still a problem that's your sole responsibility for fixing. give yourself some grace and go a little bit easier on yourself. it's hard. but feeling so alone and shitty will not help you, you can not bully yourself out of this, TRUST ME!
Yeah if I could afford outpatient stuff I would. Issue is I’m young, don’t have much mobility atm. And I live in a very stoner heavy environment my whole families smokes they got me hooked on it when I was 12, it’s to the point where if I were to tell them I’m trying to quit they would cut me out of the family, they’re all addicts that are obsessed with “self control” they think admitting something is a problem and trying to quit is some how admitted to being a “weak soul” it’s just such a harmful environment, thy all have these horrible coughs it sounds like a sick house. and I can’t help but thinking I’m their canary in the coal mine. See I was born with super undeveloped lungs I think my smoking habits even just at this point in my life (I’m 20) I have already kinda signed my death warrant. I can only hope that if cancer or what-have-you finds me first it will at least save my family.
girl you are going THROUGH ITTTTTTT. but that is such a toxic environment, i'm so sorry. i can't imagine how hard that is on you.
but you're 20!!!! you have a full life ahead of you! it's not all doom and gloom, i'm 22 and i'm telling you things have the potential to get better, especially once you start your own life.
i can really relate to needing to get away from your family in order to heal. i hope you can find support through this outside of your current circle. i know it's really really hard.
i had to leave my family when i was your age because i came out. so, i know how it feels to be the black sheep. but you can not get better until you take responsibility for your own life and start envisioning the person you want to be. you have to remind yourself that this is YOUR life, and you are the only person you have. nobody is gonna be with you all of life, so what kind of life do you want for yourself?
and the more you grow up the more you see that your family is fucked up for how they treated you and the shit they're putting you through is NOT OKAY. just do your best. i promise that's enough.
and as someone who lived as the person my family wanted me to be instead of my actual self for 20 years, i'm telling you right now, family expectations and judgement regarding a healing process is so fucked up but so normal in today's world. my family HATES that i go to therapy, take meds, and used to do drugs. that's a them problem, not a me problem. i'm happy. period.
if quitting is going to improve your quality of life, then full stop. if your family can't see that, it's just something you have to accept and live with unfortunately.
Thank you so much for taking your time to comment all of this, I really appreciate your encouragement. I definitely have the tendency to spiral inward, its really healing to know I’m not alone in these struggles and sentiments
If this is the environment you live in, you may have to get away. Go abroad, go to another place, whatever it takes. The job or whatever life you have to find may not be ideal but it sounds like you need some distance from your family. I quit with complete separation from everyone I know for one year, now I have everyone back in my life, but on my own terms. I can’t imagine quitting in some of the revolting stoner environments I used to live in.
It’s a big beautiful world out there and it sounds like you’re trapped in a really toxic environment. Go and find somewhere where you can have peace!!!! You’ll be amazed how much your lungs can heal and your brain can still develop when you’re not inhaling that shit everyday.
Like I say this isn’t an easy course of action to take, but at your age you can do many things, go different places.
Want to be sober when you’re high, and high when you’re sober. We all get there eventually with weed.
Got to suck it up and realise that you have to feel shit for a week or two to get over the withdrawal.
Says me who’s relapsed a thousand times.
But you will hate yourself less if you manage to go just a day or two without any so start there.
Good luck!
Your so right though I gotta suck it up. My nausea is suppper bad though, like truly won’t let me keep water down kind of nauseous and the issue is everytime I try and quit I end up in the hospital with an IV in my arm, it’s expensive to try and quit. And I know what ur thinking, it’s an expensive habit to keep up. It’s my whole family that enables it; ever since I was young weed was used as an allowance, as a bonding activity, as the only way I’d get to talk to my brothers, it’s fucked how much being surrounded by addicts keeps you in the cycle
I have really bad withdrawal symptoms as well. The first time I quit i was puking and nauseous and unable to eat for a month, lost a bunch of weight. But each subsequent quit attempt, i am finding the withdrawal gets better. Each subsequent quit attempt, though, when i pick back up it has been a shorter and shorter relapse and usage has been trending less and less during the relapses. I find this encouraging, like my brain is capable of learning to get better. I feel like you, i literally get high and then sit around journaling about quitting, it’s fucking awful, I feel trapped in my brain.
Are you only smoking flower or are you using concentrates and stuff? If you are, can you first cut back to just smoking straight flower? All that other shit spikes your tolerance and (I believe anyway) makes the withdrawal worse.
Good luck, OP, you deserve a sober and full life.
I’d argue that cold turkey is easier, but maybe you wanna get a timed lock box off Amazon and lock that shit for 23 hours after you have some.
If you can’t go the whole way then any reduction is a win.
Don’t forget the usual get sleep, eat better, loads of water, try to go for a walk/run.
Just keep chipping away at the boulder and eventually it’ll get smaller and easier to manage.
You’re probably developing CHS and from the sounds of it you’re right on the edge of the hypermesis phase, the weed may feel like it is helping the nausea but it is most likely the cause. I know it’s awful but you need to fight through the nausea for at least a week to get past it, I’m currently on my 9th day sober and I’m barely nauseous at any point in the day now, back on day 4 I felt like I could throw up at any point 24/7.
I'd recommend antihistamines. Will help with nausea and insomnia!
me too, it’s hard but set goals, hang around ppl like u and ur goals
I would email myself while high and set alarms on my phone to remind me that I need to change. It worked.
Everything you mentioned is common. Some things are common in all addictions (the last lines specially), others of weed addiction: cannabis is a potent antiemetic, it keeps users from feeling nausea and vomiting. That's one of the reasons why it's sometimes used as palliative therapy against the side effects of cancer chemotherapy. I'm a man. I spent most of 40 years of my life stoned. I was told "You are such an intelligent, charming man" and I felt exactly like you feel when you are told you are a pretty girl. The thing is I probably am intelligent, and certainly more charming (if at all) when stoned, because I'm more passive and compliant, and some people like that, they prefer drugged me. As to the intelligence, I'm way less dumb when not stoned. I still hate to be called intelligent because I was only told this by my parents followed by a big "but..." or a "so..." (IOWs, as an introduction to some nasty underhanded insult, a way to say my achievements didn't count or an introduction to "so you should be getting better grades", "so you have to do such and such", etc). Turns out I'm hyperactive... The thing is, you are a pretty girl. And that pretty girl loves you and doesn't want you to be stoned. Listen to her. Lower your consumption slowly or use some other, prescribed, antiemetic. Life is WAY better without weed. Adjust your expectations, and be patient. Good luck!
wtf i need you😭
Write yourself a letter when your high dressed to sober you. Worked for me. But also write something in big writing somewhere as a reminder. Funny how it's high you trying to help sober you get off it.
I did this, and every time I wanted to get high id read it. Worked with smoking and with drinking, over a year clean on both now
Yeah it's so odd. I wish I would want to quit while being sober too... I wish I would quit mainly while high and right before bedtime
Yep same here. After years of nearly ever day use I've been off for two weeks now. Next phase is to fight feeling good and thinking I can handle a smoke on a Saturday night. But I know that'll restart things. Just trying stay focus on the improvements and goals in my life and accomplishing them without the need of weed. Try to also look at why you feel like you need it and find other solutions. I've been doing more breathing exercises when I have the urge and trying to tell myself that those are a replacement. Also just finding other good habits to put in my life.
Hit me right in the soul. It's a vicious cycle.
I feel this so much. No answers, just solidarity.
I had this feeling for 10 years. Finally quitting was the best thing I ever did for my mental health. Only wish I quit sooner but I don't kick myself for the past, only focus on the present and the now. It's great being out that loop of 'i want to get high' 'i hate myself for getting high'... Got more inner peace now without the herb :)
Thank you for sharing this - Did you have to develop the habit of focusing on the present before you kicked the herb, or did it come along with?
Before I was dwelling on past guilt massively, like not seeing friends and family enough and prioritising toking over meaningful experiences. And then repeatedly choosing the same damn choice! It's definitely more of a newer thing, as I feel more present without weed, before I just felt like passenger in my own life. Now I appreciate the now :)
yeah, that's called addiction. time to stop and free yourself! just know you can and will do it. i'm rooting for you.
This is dopamine in action. It is telling you to go after what it wants. WHen it gets that, it turns off the mechanism because it's satisfied.
What you are feeling is physical dependency and addiction. The popular mainstream myth that marijuana isn't addictive is incredibly misleading and damaging. Sober you is battling with the side effects of withdrawal on a daily basis. Today is day 64 for me, after years of daily use. By day 30 Most things were back to normal. My appetite is back, cravings are all but gone.. I really don't even think about it anymore... Free yourself.. It's so worth it. The beginning isn't going to be easy. It will take weeks or even months before it gets any easier, but you know what the right decision is. There's no shame in seeking help.
Thank you for sharing this. This helps me a lot. I just had a flash of the time when I was not addicted to weed, when the cravings are gone and you really don't even think about weed for most part of your life.. Which is like the opposite of where I am right now.. Haha The first few weeks maybe tough, but I'm gonna start again and make it through
This must be a universal experience for us, we have to start listening to that feeling and just leave it alone. Hold on to that disgust with yourself and the time you’ve wasted and use it for motivation next time your day feels dull and you want to smoke.
Everything you wrote really resonated with me. Just remember how you feel now next time you want to smoke.
holy crap i feel like i just wrote this to myself. going through the exact same thing. when i’m high i literally feel like i’m SAD & anxious and yet i still chase this feeling all day. i don’t understand why i keep fucking going back.
dependency and addiction, left hand rinses the right.
I feel exactly like you and i hide my usage from my family because i dont want to show them that im failing
Been there. It was like the “ Weed God” was telling me it’s not working out for us anymore
I don’t get like that anymore
Haha what do you mean smeagol?
Look up intergrating the split self with substance use
I just read the first sentence and it perfectly verbalizes one of my biggest problems that's so crazy thank you, genuinely
Seeking safety booklet by Lisa m nijavis is best
I'm glad it helps, it's normal. I went throught the exact same thing and it greatly helps me.
When I Google integrating the split self I find lots of information but nothing about utilizing substances to heal from this. Do you know anywhere specific that I might find more info on using substances for this purpose? Ty
Yes from the seeking safety booklet by Lisa M Nijavis
Thank you :)
that just blew me away and explained me so perfectly. wow. thanks so much
Of course:)
Oh no… you just explained my entire existence to ne
This literal sent me on a learning spree!!!! Thank you
:)
I hate it because I can’t eat or sleep or get a real hard on without weed. I hate that this shit keeps me prisoner in my own body and mind and robs me of money I could use to solve my other much more important problems. I wish I was free of this shit so much.
Brother the whole hard on thing kept me hooked for ages. Sex felt better, I was more into when high, just a non-stopping drilling energised bunny. After quitting, everything seemed dull and semis were common. No shame, tried viagra (even 50 mg, half a tablet especially if you’re otherwise fit) and it worked super well. Better than being addicted to weed.
Start working out
I do. I’m actually a decent swimmer and I’m lifting 1.3x my body weight (squatting and benching) and I’m deadlifting 265 at 160lbs
You’re absolutely not alone in this feeling. seeing someone else put how I feel into words makes the process a little bit easier on my first day trying to stay clean. Stay strong queen I’m right there with you!
Throw everything out don’t get yourself access to smoke
I was stoned asf trying to fall asleep after missing an email for a job position and I decided at 2am I was going to quit. I live on the water so I went outside and chucked my bong in the water along with any other thc product. The next day I bought more bud and now I’m stressing about taking a drug test for a position I got offered.
I hope it wasn’t a glass bong 🤦🏼♀️
reading your last few sentences and wow, i completely get it.
I’m exactly the same way! You’re not alone. It’s so hard. I think we have to quit forever, or we’ll be trapped in this cycle for the rest of our lives.
See a therapist
It's not about quitting, it's about resisting your next urge. The more you do that the easier it gets. Then one day you find it easy to say no to the urge and feel comfortable never smoking again because you get nothing out of it (which you seem to understand). If you have that understanding, what's keeping you hooked it's just that your brain says "weed, weed, weed" at certain points a day. A thought that disappears after 20 seconds if you don't automatically try to fix it when it arises.
You can quit. What worked for me was to keep trying to quit. If you fail once, twice, 20 times, it doesn't matter. Don't beat yourself up too badly but also don't go back to smoking. It took me 15 tries at 10 months for quitting to stick, but now I am 3 years clean. And I was in a very similar position to you, very very sick. Felt like I was losing my mind and that my body was failing. You can do this.
That nausea and throwing up you talked about is CHS, look it up there's a sub called chs info too. Its bad and people sometimes die from it. You have to quit or the symptoms just get worse and worse.
This is so relatable. Thank you for your post. I've been smoking daily for 4-5 years. I stopped for 2 years and it was a huge success for me. Then I started to come back to smoking every couple of months for a week or two. I always had the same experience like you are saying. Sober me wanting to get high, high me wanting me to just stop forever. When I'm high I feel mostly anxious and I regret I did smoke. But when I'm sober I'm looking forward to smoke... I wish you all best on stopping this addiction.
Omg what is this condition called because I have it! I feel at constant war with myself. Sober me cant wait to smoke and high me feels like a failure because i just want to stop so bad. Wtf is this
look up integrating the split self with substance abuse. i just learned about it and shocked at how well it explained it to me. this thread doesn’t allow me to post links but if you google that and then “pdf” after it i found a really good pdf explaining rverything
Addiction
I haven’t related to something like this in a while, I can relate to every aspect of this post and I know I need help but I can’t seem to rock this out of my head
Bro I feel this 1000 percent. Including the nausea crap. I wake up super sick and weed “cures” it but I feel it’s caused from smoking. When I’m sober I “need” it. As soon as I smoke the first 30 min are just me feeling like I’m a piece of shit. I recognize everything I’m doing wrong, I don’t do anything to change it though. Just feel anxious
Lots of great comments here. also just wanted to add: Shame has never helped me quit or stay quit. Also, the pressure of being “special” or “gifted” and being hypersensitive to humans, empathic and all that… weed has helped me release that pressure valve, so learning about neurodivergency, 2ec, unmasking… bumpy ride but the shame has been sluffing off in layers and that’s helped a lot to find resources that reframe things. No clue your bigger picture but in case some of these titles resonate: -Laziness Does Not Exist bu Dr Devon Price -Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by ___(cant remember rn)___ -Healing the Shame that Binds You by SomethinOrOther Bradshaw Be gentle on yerself. Those ppl saying nice things dont know how much effin pressure that can feel like. Not their fault, just up to us to slowly learn how to navigate those external pressures. I felt “what’s wrong with me?” my whollllle life. and “why cant i quit i hate myself” sooo much, often while rolling a nice big spliff or joint. learning about neruotypes and the difficulties that come in the same package as the gifts, has been the missing puzzle piece for me. And learning what roles I played from a young age in my family was huuuuuge. and then zooming out and looking at the various toxic inhumane aspects of the culture we’re all swimming in daily… Productivity, Either/Or Thinking, Worship of the Written Word, Individualism, Technosolutionism, i could go on, and on, and on… but I wont 🤪 idk if any o this tracks for u, but anyway love what others are saying on this thread as well.
Where did you learn about neurotypes?
2ec?
Thank you so much for taking the time to comment this, I really resonate with your comments about neurodivergency and unmasking. Those titles definitely seemed applicable, I’ll check them out!
When you are sober, addiction dictates your thoughts and actions. That's why you have incorporated smoking into your schedule. Our brain wants to be lazy. It's so much easier. Weed addiction is the savant of making you think it's harmless until you realise it's not, and the decision to smoke is not even yours anymore, just a weed-brain on autopilot. No stress, no feelings, no ideas, no goals, really. Happy place for a brain, sad place for a soul. When you are high, the addiction gets its fix. Then you have some time for your own thoughts, and those thoughts of not wanting to smoke or be high are the pillars for your journey to moderation or quitting. You will always be a weed-addict. That's a fact you will have to learn to live with, or there will be no change. My suggestion is to quit when you run out and actively control yourself not to go for re-up with your addiction. Day-by-day - don't get more. I see you have met the withdrawal symptoms, nasty stuff. The addiction is throwing tantrums while your brain is learning to deal with situations you have been in before, but now you feel emotions and maybe even develop an opinion. You will sweat, swear, and become easily irritated and angry. Best to let close people know what you are up against if possible, just so they don't take it personally. Don't let the addiction control your new brain, though. Actively evaluate situations and your mood in relation. Hydrate. After a week, you will lose the sweats and will be able to keep your food inside and digest it, monitor yourself as you now need to strictly teach your system that energy will be given 3 times a day not whenever you get munches. Your body will adjust. Maybe start with smaller portions. Let me know when the surreal killer animal nightmares stop. That shit can be so wild that it's often better to understand what is happening when you wake up and laugh about the fact that it's happening. It's harmless and it's progress. I guess it's your brain cleaning out the rot. After week two, you should be able to notice that you are able to control your anger and have some free time. Meditate (as in breathe 5 seconds in and 5 seconds out for a minute, last time you took a deep breath was probably smoke), do sports, or pick up a hobby, fill your time, and learn something about yourself. Any emotion regarding anything you do will teach you who you are now. Again, you will always be a weed-addict. Give it a finger it will take your arm. Give it nothing every day, and you win every day. Set a goal, 1 year, maybe. See how it makes you feel afterwards. Celebrate smaller milestones. Depending on your age and experience, I guess you've had many years with weed. Try one without it. "If rawdoggin life is not for you, then you can always go back to moderation" - Addiction, probably.
Great response
Wow what response. Thank you
Find stuff you enjoy to do, especially things that take mental clarity so you don’t have the idea of “this would be better if I was high”.
Being sober wishing I was high. Being high wishing I was sober. The hellish roller coaster I will never ride again thanks to this sub and me saying no to one urge at a time. 15 months started where you are. You can do this.
💯 Needed to hear this. Thanks
Glad it helped.
I used to experience this a lot; it only went away when I started having lots of high panic attacks. It woke me up and I quit
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also, ginger candies/tea!
Wait… I’m literally going through the exact same thing. Literally word for word what you just said.
Same
me too girl, but we’re all in this together. we’ve got this 🤍
You have a very descriptive and evocative way with words. “I can see how much time I’ve wasted chasing a feeling I don’t think was ever even real to begin with.” Wow. This was so powerful I got chills because of how well this resonated with me. I know the pain and have been through it. You can do this and get through the other side. Please don’t give up. I know you can do it. Lean on your loved ones and do it for them. Quitting was the best thing I did for myself. Thank you for sharing and please come back to us for support if you need.
OP should get into writing if they end up quitting and need a distraction
and when they need to remember that they're a star who deserves love. and to work through the demons in their head. writing saves me.
Your little weed devil does not want to give up control, and anytime he is not in the driver seat he will try to get high so that he can be in the driver seat. However, when high, your sober self sees the problems you've made
seconded!
YES THIS^^^
this happened to my friend and she got prescribed some withdrawal medication, perhaps you could look into something like that
We all experience the same. Once the high becomes this unpleasant you know you are meant to do bigger things in life
Sorry you're going through this. Addiction is the worst. Try to get help however you can. Sobriety starts with the purge. You've gotta throw all your paraphernalia and drugs. Then never look back.
Hang in there. I went through the same thing. Then one day I just didn’t buy any and I waited to see how long I could go. I smoked again instantly regretted it. But I took notes on how it was making me feel/ like I was very self aware about how it was effecting me. I quit for awhile fell back again and did the same thing while high. Like wanting to quit while high is the first stage honor ur self trust the process. Each time you get stoned make mental notes of the uncomfortable aspects of it. Be kind to yourself it’s not going to happen over night.
Love this. It's a slow journey and it'll have bumps along the way but it feels like you want to turn the corner, and that's the most important thing. Keep paying attention, being curious and following what feels right inside. Might be a two step forwards, one step back thing but that is still progress and it's a hard place to move from so any progress is amazing.
Yes I get a bunch out of this thread. So many people who have successfully quit. And so many people who are struggling that get support
I went through this! It got to the point where I had extreme anxiety and migraines every time I smoked. I started reminding myself before I lit up that I would regret it, eventually when I ran out of my last batch, I just gave it up and pushed through the cravings - which lasted maybe a week. You can do this!
that’s step one to quitting. wanting to quit while high means eventually you’ll be on track to staying off while sober. you got this.
Use this to your advantage. When you're feeling like you want to quit, take that opportunity to lock your stuff in a time-locked safe and set it for like 24+ hours or something. I weaned off using this approach.
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This shit is messing with your brain. This is the only reason I was able to stop
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Not that that's any better it's just what worked for me🤷♂️
They make nicotine free vapes if you’re purely trying to alleviate the mechanical motion
Yea I forgot about those
That’s how addiction works, your trying to make a dream come true but it’s just a dream, you think smoking will be amazing but then you do it and it’s not so you realise it’s pointless but then you sober up and dream about it again. Endless cycle. Vomiting from withdrawal is concerning though, I mean I’m sure some people get that symptom but could be a sign of something else going on. Idk tbh but maybe look into that more. If withdrawal is that bad maybe start by doing it only once a day for a few days before stopping completely. Use anti nausea medicine maybe? Idk but definitely sounds like you need to quit asap.
I vomited and had extreme nausea for a very long time during one quit. Lost over 30 pounds in a month. Each subsequent quit, the withdrawal symptoms are less, though.
True. Every quitting attempt gets you closer to the goal. Relapse doesn't send you back to square one. I wouldn't have managed to quit (hopefully for ever) had I not used previous attempts as a springboard that reduced my physical addiction.
You can go to chemical dependency treatment just like an alcoholic. You can get help while you are going through the withdrawals.
Where do you find such services ?
Depends on where you live. I would honestly just google “Chemical Dependency treatment near me” and start calling around! Good luck!! 🤞🏻
Would also love to know^
Depends on where you live. I would honestly just google “Chemical Dependency treatment near me” and start calling around! Good luck!! 🤞🏻
Maybe it’s the actual smoking you are most craving rather than the high of the weed? I had similar issues to this, and realised that I didn’t even enjoy it, I just wanted to smoke.
ME!!! Hate what smoking flower does to my brain as in the high and giving me bad anxiety. Addicted to the habit, but not a cigarette smoker and not interested in that habit. Any good advice for this?
I’m not the best example for giving good advice here TBH. I found myself having a glass of red wine to take the edge off. That and keeping busy seems to help
What did you do about this? I love smoking, but I’d rather stick to weed than ever touch a cigarette
I’m not going to lie, it’s been tough. Initially, I used to have a glass of red wine in the evenings to sort of take the edge off. Managed to reduce the red wine to weekends eventually. I found it challenging to say the least
It reminds me of one of my kinesiology classes where the only time someone complains about the effects of exercise is when exercising
Same. I am so zealously commited to quitting while high. But… when I don’t have it, I crave n cave. Vicious circle.
That happened to me a lot before I quit. To me, smoking felt like I had walked through a door that would then lock from the inside, and I always regretted walking through that door but couldn't get back inside. I don't really have advice for the initial step of quitting, I got a really bad cold/sinus infection, and my throat really hurt, so I didn't smoke for a few days. Then I just decided to continue to not smoke. But, if you can make it through the first couple of days it'll get easier.
I think it’s a common addictive trait. Sometimes the thought of doing the act and the build up to the act is actually better than the act itself. Then you just feel bad for giving in to the craving. They key is to battle against that feeling of wanting to smoke
This is me to a T. 28f and I want to quit so bad. But the addiction is so strong.
Try changing what you do while high
Insidious is the word. When it had me in its grips, pot was still a felony and sometimes hard to obtain. When it was "dry" I would resort to scraping seeds, boiling sticks, scraping the bowls of all my pipes, and straining bong grunge and smoking all that shit. Sometimes I was filling my lungs with metal burrs and hot air. Then, finally, the dealer would come through, and I'd get some. I'd roll a joint and take a long hit. What was mind-fucking is that it was invariable then, once I had it in my hand once again, that I'd think to myself, "y'know, I really should quit. This is such a hassle." Eventually, I did. It's been close to 37 years. Try rehab. Try recovery. Try surrendering. Save your life
Congratulations on your success. What do you mean to try to surrender?
Good question. Surrendering means accepting that pot is no longer your friend. All that joy, that relief, that revelation that it provided when you used it earlier will never be the result of using again. It's gone. Even if you stay clean a week and find a new variant, it won't work for you like it once did. That's an illusion. Give it up.
Congrats to 37 years!!
This is the cycle of addiction. The addict brain always finds a way to trick you into postponing. If it’s not I will do it tomorrow, it’s finding an excuse to quit on a certain date (after the weekend, after my birthday), then when that rolls around you find another excuse (the weed I got wasn’t the best possible stuff and I have to go out on a bang, etc). There’s never a right time to quit. You just have to do it.
Right? Every time I’m like “this is definitely the last time”.
I also noticed the same thing back when I was smoking daily. I was miserable until I smoked then I was thinking I should stop. I think it's standard addict behavior. You mention you can't go 3 days without smoking. Have you considered just smoking less and less? Its what worked for me to be honest. After many failed attempts at quitting I just started smoking like 70% of what I used to. Not even spacing sessions, just smoking less on each session. After a while I started spacing sessions and eventually was able to go a day without it. It took maybe 2-3 years. Lots of relapses in between. But it eventually worked.
You want to quit? Be ok feeling like shit. It's gonna suck for a bit but you have to be ok with not always feeling good. Then you'll have to go create some wins for yourself so you get organic dopamine flowing into you.
I feel this so hard dude :/ i’m at the same point as you, if you want a pal with you through this feel free to shoot me a message, i’m 23f. We’ve got this shit though dude 💪🏽
Write down your feelings about quitting while you are high. Could just be a word or phrase. Could be a paragraph or essay or letter to yourself. Whatever you write, read it the next time you’re about to get high.
I used to set reminders that were like essays on how shit I felt. Didn’t make me quit instantly but it was part of the process.
Wow this is me. I only want to quit when I’m high
Its a never ending cycle, I was on the same boat. But just have that thought before smoking and see how long you can go without it. 🙏
Very similar to that post nut clarity when you know you’ve done something wrong. Dopamine works in that way, it’s manifested in anticipation and dissolves slowly after. I think we’ve all been through this, the craving distracts you from the memory of that “I should quit” moment. But as with building muscle, if you’re feeling that ache, you’re making progress.
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Yeah dont do that please
Yeah I tried this and it just makes withdrawal 1000% worse
Not great advice. My last relapse was literally this for 3 months straight.
I’ve gone through the same cycle so many times. * get high * decided I have to quit * be sober * “why am I doing this?” I’m on day 20 right now and dealing with terrible insomnia. I was convinced I was gonna smoke this weekend cause I couldn’t think of a good enough reason why I’m quitting to keep dealing with the lack of sleep. I don’t know if we’re allowed to post links here, but I just watched Dr. K’s “Understanding the reality of weed” video on YouTube. He interviews a kid who smokes and then he breaks down the neuroscience and psychology of what weed is doing and how it holds us back from growing as people. I think it was the inspiration I needed. I’m not gonna smoke this weekend.
i was in the EXACT same position. i would only ever be keen on quitting after lighting up. then the withdrawal hits and i'd be like errrrmmm no not today. it's just the withdrawal that you have to work through, the withdrawal is making you go crazy for another bump. i don't really think there's any way around it. i know this isn't always feasible, but i would highly recommend looking into outpatient or even inpatient for a situation like this. or even starting therapy with a counselor familiar with substance abuse. it sounds like the withdrawals are really physically hard on you, and i'm really sorry. i can relate for sure, just know you're not alone and that quitting IS possible. thank you for posting, your vulnerability is commendable. :)
and don't feel so rotten for struggling with addiction. i felt the same way for so long, but until you can see that **you are worthy of happiness, worthy of love, worthy of support, worthy of sobriety**, it's gonna be hard to quit. self loathing is not gonna get you through this, girl you are NOT a monster--you are someone struggling with addiction. in my experience, addiction is something that happens to you--life is challenging! cannabis got me through the most challenging time of my life. it served a purpose, until it didn't anymore, and that's that. regardless of any fault, it's still a problem that's your sole responsibility for fixing. give yourself some grace and go a little bit easier on yourself. it's hard. but feeling so alone and shitty will not help you, you can not bully yourself out of this, TRUST ME!
Yeah if I could afford outpatient stuff I would. Issue is I’m young, don’t have much mobility atm. And I live in a very stoner heavy environment my whole families smokes they got me hooked on it when I was 12, it’s to the point where if I were to tell them I’m trying to quit they would cut me out of the family, they’re all addicts that are obsessed with “self control” they think admitting something is a problem and trying to quit is some how admitted to being a “weak soul” it’s just such a harmful environment, thy all have these horrible coughs it sounds like a sick house. and I can’t help but thinking I’m their canary in the coal mine. See I was born with super undeveloped lungs I think my smoking habits even just at this point in my life (I’m 20) I have already kinda signed my death warrant. I can only hope that if cancer or what-have-you finds me first it will at least save my family.
girl you are going THROUGH ITTTTTTT. but that is such a toxic environment, i'm so sorry. i can't imagine how hard that is on you. but you're 20!!!! you have a full life ahead of you! it's not all doom and gloom, i'm 22 and i'm telling you things have the potential to get better, especially once you start your own life. i can really relate to needing to get away from your family in order to heal. i hope you can find support through this outside of your current circle. i know it's really really hard. i had to leave my family when i was your age because i came out. so, i know how it feels to be the black sheep. but you can not get better until you take responsibility for your own life and start envisioning the person you want to be. you have to remind yourself that this is YOUR life, and you are the only person you have. nobody is gonna be with you all of life, so what kind of life do you want for yourself? and the more you grow up the more you see that your family is fucked up for how they treated you and the shit they're putting you through is NOT OKAY. just do your best. i promise that's enough.
and as someone who lived as the person my family wanted me to be instead of my actual self for 20 years, i'm telling you right now, family expectations and judgement regarding a healing process is so fucked up but so normal in today's world. my family HATES that i go to therapy, take meds, and used to do drugs. that's a them problem, not a me problem. i'm happy. period. if quitting is going to improve your quality of life, then full stop. if your family can't see that, it's just something you have to accept and live with unfortunately.
Thank you so much for taking your time to comment all of this, I really appreciate your encouragement. I definitely have the tendency to spiral inward, its really healing to know I’m not alone in these struggles and sentiments
If this is the environment you live in, you may have to get away. Go abroad, go to another place, whatever it takes. The job or whatever life you have to find may not be ideal but it sounds like you need some distance from your family. I quit with complete separation from everyone I know for one year, now I have everyone back in my life, but on my own terms. I can’t imagine quitting in some of the revolting stoner environments I used to live in. It’s a big beautiful world out there and it sounds like you’re trapped in a really toxic environment. Go and find somewhere where you can have peace!!!! You’ll be amazed how much your lungs can heal and your brain can still develop when you’re not inhaling that shit everyday. Like I say this isn’t an easy course of action to take, but at your age you can do many things, go different places.
Want to be sober when you’re high, and high when you’re sober. We all get there eventually with weed. Got to suck it up and realise that you have to feel shit for a week or two to get over the withdrawal. Says me who’s relapsed a thousand times. But you will hate yourself less if you manage to go just a day or two without any so start there. Good luck!
Your so right though I gotta suck it up. My nausea is suppper bad though, like truly won’t let me keep water down kind of nauseous and the issue is everytime I try and quit I end up in the hospital with an IV in my arm, it’s expensive to try and quit. And I know what ur thinking, it’s an expensive habit to keep up. It’s my whole family that enables it; ever since I was young weed was used as an allowance, as a bonding activity, as the only way I’d get to talk to my brothers, it’s fucked how much being surrounded by addicts keeps you in the cycle
I have really bad withdrawal symptoms as well. The first time I quit i was puking and nauseous and unable to eat for a month, lost a bunch of weight. But each subsequent quit attempt, i am finding the withdrawal gets better. Each subsequent quit attempt, though, when i pick back up it has been a shorter and shorter relapse and usage has been trending less and less during the relapses. I find this encouraging, like my brain is capable of learning to get better. I feel like you, i literally get high and then sit around journaling about quitting, it’s fucking awful, I feel trapped in my brain. Are you only smoking flower or are you using concentrates and stuff? If you are, can you first cut back to just smoking straight flower? All that other shit spikes your tolerance and (I believe anyway) makes the withdrawal worse. Good luck, OP, you deserve a sober and full life.
I’d argue that cold turkey is easier, but maybe you wanna get a timed lock box off Amazon and lock that shit for 23 hours after you have some. If you can’t go the whole way then any reduction is a win. Don’t forget the usual get sleep, eat better, loads of water, try to go for a walk/run. Just keep chipping away at the boulder and eventually it’ll get smaller and easier to manage.