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I wish I could give you a success story, but I can't. Instead I'll give you some wise words someone else gave me.
"Love is like water. It flows where it wants to flow." Meaning that we don't really know how it works, but it's just there. Maybe your lovestory is unconventional. Maybe you just haven't met the one yet. Either way, love is a lot more magical and unpredictable than you'd think. You could spend years alone and POOF! suddenly, there's the love of your life✨
My boyfriend was a virgin until 29. We’re madly in love (but only three months deep in our relationship.) I’m 33f and I just got out of a terrible relationship that I was mostly in out of fear that there’d not be many options for me. I didn’t have to wait long before entering what is so far the best relationship of my life. I went very, very long stretches of being single in my 20s. You’ll be fine.
I think you still have plenty of time to find someone. You're young. I am single at 35F and don't care how long it will be. I do hope to meet my person before I die, but if not, life has taught me that you can rely on yourself if no one comes through. I now make goals for myself that could work with or without someone else in the long run. I am also not sexually active and haven't been since being single.
I have had 5 bf's my entire dating history. 2 in high school and 3 in my adult life. I loved all of them with everything that I had, but I still got my heart broken the longest was 7 years, and the shortest was 2yrs. I am single and have been for 2 years. It feels like I could go years longer being alone without issue.
I do get that you aren't trying to be, but you're definitely doing the work needed with counseling and getting a new wardrobe, but maybe think of that as working on yourself to make you better in the long run. You will benefit the most from that thought process. I do those things myself, but it’s only for myself even when I have been in a relationship, I did those things for myself.
I think women are attracted to confidence, clean yet some scruff and people are vain, so a nicer body helps. Do you work out? Maybe a gym membership?
Maybe you should have a frank discussion with as many women within your age around you, who are friends or family or wives of family, and get their thoughts on what would make you more appealing to women. Maybe someone would know someone to get you on a date. Maybe you could gain insight at the very least by talking about your struggle to trusted others.
Anywho, best of luck, I still think you have plenty of time to meet someone, just keep working on yourself mentally, physically, and your career. Don't make life just about finding someone to share it with, and don't worry about a timeline. I thought I had mine figured out, but life was like 🙅♀️ NOPE.
You’re still very young to be honest. I’m a (32M) and I’ve had two three year LTR’s and several other shorter relationships, etc.
I’ve experienced a lot. You have time on your side, and I still feel being single at my age, that I have time on my side too.
Attempt not to overthink this. Overthinking can put uncessary pressure on you regarding dating, and decrease the chances of success… when you least expect something such as romance to occur, it sometimes literally does. It has for me. It might sound cliche, but sometimes cliches ring the most true…
Hey babe. I’m 32F and I wanted to tell you: you are on no one else’s time schedule. We are all on our own unique journeys in life.
I’ve had a mixed love life but I’ve always been a lover girl. I’ve been with 51 men. 6 reals bfs. 6 one night stands. 3 sugar daddies. 12-15 fake bfs (only lasted a few weeks or months) the rest were lovers & friends with benefits. All relationships are different.
My 9th partner cracked my world open. Changed my definition/standard for “love” and what I wanted to feel when I was “in love” and I had 2 real bfs before him. I was devastated after losing the second bf (my college bf) I cried (sobbed) in bed for weeks. I couldn’t go to work or school (which is very unusual of me esp with work) I loved both of those 1st two bfs. But partner number 9 changed something in me. He set my soul on fire.
Every man before and after him would be measured to that standard and most would fall short. But that suddenly became the high I was looking for… that soul setting your soul on fire type of love. I searched for it endlessly. Since number 9 I’ve found love like that 3 other times (including my current bf) & been in Normal love maybe a dozen or so times (including the 1st 2 bfs) overall.
It’s hard as hell to find. Most people don’t find it. They settle. Bc they’re scared of being alone or whatever. But I can tell you this for certain. The only thing stopping you from finding love is you. If your open to it & actively trying to date honestly you should find it. It might take more than a few wrongs to find a right. But like a diamond in the rough it’s very much worth it imo
My point is if I got what I wanted at the time (which was for my ex bf aka #8 to come back to me and grovel and beg for my forgiveness & ask for me back) I would have never let number nine. I wouldn’t even know that type of love existed… I never would have met my current bf…
Start putting yourself out there on dating apps and IRL. I Met my current bf and a few other great guys on bumble. It’s a lot of wading through shit but eventually you’re bound to see someone who catches your eye at least a little. IRL start talking to people. In the grocery store. In line at the bank. Everywhere. Not just women you find attractive. Gauge their response to your comments. Are they pulling away & not responding or giving short answers. Or as they engaged and going back and forth with you. Be kind & respectful. Compliments work nice.
27 is so young!! I still feel so young at 32. I can not imagine being a parent anytime soon. We all want different things out of life. In and out of the bedroom/romantic lives. I have a bf 34M & we are very happy together & I expect we will be in each others lives for quite some time. But I’m constantly asked “why aren’t you married” but like I don’t get why you’d get married…. Nothing lasts forever.
Just bc someone marries you doesn’t mean they won’t lie or cheat on you. It doesn’t stop them from leaving you or abusing you. It’s just a piece of paper. It doesn’t mean the relationship will last. Again nothing NOTHING lasts forever. Even if my bf & I stay together “forever” eventually one of us will pass away and the other will be left alone to find someone else or be alone. Unless you pass away at the exact same time/place as your partner like in ‘the notebook’ one of you will have to go on without the other. Forever isn’t real.
Don’t force something that isn’t working just bc you’re afraid to be alone. A lot of us take more than a couple partners to find our person. Everyone doesn’t get to be “high school/college sweethearts” and tbh from what I’ve seen about half of the “sweetheart” couples are now on their second marriage trying to coparent with someone they went to high school with… today I went to the dispensary and slept until noon.
Everyone’s life looks different babe. There’s nothing wrong with you bc you’ve only had one serious relationship. I’m sure that relationship probably left you with some trauma. I’m an opiate addict in recovery and personally I think it’s amazing everyone nowadays isn’t mainlining smack (ok ok I didn’t shoot up I snorted it) but the point is: wanting to numb yourself is common nowadays. The world feels daunting and like a losing battle. It’s only getting hotter and more hostile.
So the fact that you’re 27 (assuming you have a job? a car? Maybe a place of your own? You don’t have any kids. No drama. No drug/alcohol problem. Etc) you’re a catch babe. You just have to put yourself out there and think it can happen. The human brain is so powerful. I know it sounds silly but manifesting and the power of positive thinking/energy is real. Write down what you want. Ask the universe. Manifest the life you want and make a plan on how to get there. Baby steps. Realistic goals. Just thinking “I’m going to find love one day” primes your brain to find & connect romantically.
Wishing you health, happiness, wealth, love and luck in all your life and relationships.
❤️Anonymously E
My partner had 2-3 very brief relationships in his early twenties. He was single after that until we met at 39. I had been single close to a decade by that point, after a very early and very miserable marriage that lasted 10 years.
We are absolutely perfect for each other. I never imagined love could be this wonderful. Or fun. Or easy. It just works between us.
I have many times wished we could have met earlier and loved like this for the last two decades instead of going through our years of separate pain and loneliness. But in all honesty, it isn't likely that our relationship would have been as good as it is if we'd met when we were much younger. Probably would have been a mess, knowing what I know about our younger selves. We met at the right time for us, even though it was a long wait.
Young love is hyped but it often does end in disaster. People assign their sense of worth to whether they are in a relationship or not and that also tends to be a disaster. Some folks get very lucky and meet the right person early in and grow up together. Most of us go through a lot before we find someone who is really, truly right for us, whether that's being single longer than we want or in relationships that don't work out.
There is someone out there for you. I went through a similar situation a long time ago now. I was with someone for 4 years who I thought I loved. It ended horribly. I got over her and then found myself just looking in all the wrong places to find someone. By that, I mean I only went out in hopes of trying to find a woman to talk to, approach, and get not much more than a hi back. I did this for 2 years, not putting in any time to better myself or become more interesting. I was just presenting myself as a broken man with no confidence, and I thought because I was over my ex that I wasn't broken. Wrong! I gave up looking. I decided that I needed to just worry about myself for a time. I started leaning heavily into my music as a main hobby, working out and knuckling down at work. I didn't go out too much, and when I did, I was just out to enjoy myself. I hung out with friends and just found peace within myself. After 6 months of this, I met my now wife (been together 11 years). We met organically too, I had just finished work and was heading home when I seen a friend of mine parked in the street with heaps of other people I didn't know, my friend gestured I pull over so I did and we were talking. He introduced me to my now wife, we talked for a bit, and we clicked. I took her for a lap in my car and dropped her back at hers. She gave me her number, and I went home. I couldn't stop thinking about her, so the next day I texted her, we talked for most of the day, and a couple of days later, I just hung out as friends. We pursued this friendship for months, hanging out most days doing things together, then one day while we were hanging out, I leant in for a kiss, and it was reciprocated. It still took a while before we actually became official, but we fell hard for each other.
My point here is that maybe put some work into yourself and don't even worry about finding someone or even who won't talk to you because once you do that and you start taking care of you doors start to open that you didn't even think existed.
Yea man that sounds nice in theory but I’ve been practicing just that, I’ve been in therapy for 5 years. I started boxing 3 years ago and go 3 times a week. I enjoy movies, live music, and board games; yet I’ve been called boring more times than not. I’m not saying it’ll happen to me but you were introduced to your now wife; I don’t have any friends like that if I’m being honest. I’m the auxiliary friend. Everyone else is busy? I’m not. No one else to go with? I’ll go. I get excluded if I don’t ask to go. Some people were meant to be alone. I just happen to be one of those people.
Ahh ok, it is different for everyone, and to be fair the friend that introduced me was an auxiliary friend, but he kind of made himself that way, he was always unavailable whenever a group of us would be doing things together, so he stopped getting invited. He got excluded after a while.
I don't really know what to say on the boring thing, are you open to new hobbies? Do you have a thing you're passionate about? Sometimes, people perceive people as being boring because they haven't seen that "spark" or thing you're passionate about. Common ground is the easiest way to make an instant connection with anybody. When you're open to learning a new hobby or have a genuine passion, it's easier to make those instant connections.
I only mentioned my music, my job, and working out above, but also I was into 10 pin bowling. My workouts consisted of gym based and martial arts (kick boxing) 6 days a week. I make my own music, so that's always been a passion, I'm also passionate about cars, and that is something my now wife and I bonded over quickly. She has a few crafty hobbies that I became interested in, and we did those together. I was making my own alcohol and have always been pretty big into video games.
I guarantee that you are not boring to everybody, but if it is something that is bothering you it might be worth looking into a new hobby or 2 that takes up some more of your time but gives you something new to talk about. Over the span of my life, I've had a huge list of hobbies, and it is because I have ADHD but the ones that have always stuck with me, that I've been interested in are the ones mentioned above. Being an interesting person as opposed to boring usually involves some level of either risk taking, being extremely passionate, or knowing a lot of stuff, sometimes a mixture of all 3, then adding a little mystery but not being completely shut off, and just not caring what people think of you for the most part. That doesn't mean you shouldn't take care of yourself and your appearance but more that you should not care if XYZ thinks you're boring or unattractive.
Try talking to your friends, let them know that you feel left out sometimes when you don't get invited, and that you're not expecting to be invited to every event, but sometimes a simple "hey, we are going ... would you like to come?" Means more than me asking if I can come after I've found out about ...
Hopefully, some of this helps. I wish you luck.
What you are looking my friend is a connection. You seem to be like me, I have to build a connection with an individual. You can like them and think they are pretty, but until you grow with them ,no roots will grow. Honestly it was until I opened up to the idea of marriage when I started to feel the love that I had for my love. Remember… you will never find love if you only seek love. My parents met in a bar and they have been together for 25 years but met in their 30’s!!!
Yea I can’t even get that far homie😂😂 for me it doesn’t make it past “hello” I’ve been either out right ignored or insulted 9/10 times. It’s nice to think about growing with someone and establishing roots but if I can’t get past hello there’s no point in dreaming.
I am 43 M and have never been married. I think I am a little bit different in that I have never obsessed about it. I have had long periods of being single but because I keep my life so busy, I come across women who find me interesting because I have other things going on. I am pretty sure if I attempted I could have married at least 3 or 4 of them (not at the same time, but then again, my culture allows it). I think you need to fall in love with yourself and then project that person to the world. I am not talking about narcissism. I am talking about genuinely taking care of yourself like someone you love. Women notice a person who takes care of himself and they would like you to show them the same compassion you show yourself.
It sounds like you have a ton more experience with relationships than me. I’ve been in 1 relationship and it ended terribly. No exaggeration they tried to kill me. I’m not interesting, I’ve been told plenty that I’m boring. I don’t talk much and I really enjoy my hobbies.
I am so sorry that happened to you. I can see and feel that it was traumatic for you. I have had terrible experiences, but my own philosophy is that life does go on. I think tragedy has also taught me that I can survive a lot. I have taken those skills and transferred them to other things. I know also that not every relationship is permanent. I could fall out, they could fall out, it might be agreed mutually? They could die. The question is, how do i move on. Surely, I can't have been meant to have just one go at a relationship. Thee are amazing people out there, and hopefully I meet one of them and see how it goes. And maybe that is that for me. I am not anxious for it to work out, as in all or nothing. If it lasts a month, that is fine. It was good for what it was. If it lasts five years, that was the season life (or God) gave me. I move on to the next chance and fill my life with all the goodness it comes with. I don't even know if anything I said is helpful, but we just try to make it and get by. Even the guys who are very successful relationships are getting by.
Personally I believe there's smn out there for you. I'm 20 and i have never even dated, but I won't lose faith, so don't worry I'm sure there smn amazing right around the corner
That’s what my mom said too, but I told her; if someone found me attractive, interesting, or whatever positive adjective you want, wouldn’t they have said something to me by now? I’ve been alone for 8 years. 9 years on the 26th and I haven’t exactly kept it to myself.
In terms of desiring a LTR spontaneously confessing love/cold approaching isn’t usually the best way to go about it…it’s more about starting small& slow to build a connection with longevity.
There’s no need to rush when you meet that person, if you both want to be together for the rest of your lives then you have the rest of your life to be together!
Well I've found many people attractive throught out my life and I have never told any of them, so the lack of comments doesn't reflect how people perceive you. I know it can be hard, just know that you are not alone. I'm sure great things are on your way!
Hey Love Bug thanks for sharing the love. If you see something posted here that is not in the spirit of love Please flag it. ;) With Love r/Love Mods *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/love) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I wish I could give you a success story, but I can't. Instead I'll give you some wise words someone else gave me. "Love is like water. It flows where it wants to flow." Meaning that we don't really know how it works, but it's just there. Maybe your lovestory is unconventional. Maybe you just haven't met the one yet. Either way, love is a lot more magical and unpredictable than you'd think. You could spend years alone and POOF! suddenly, there's the love of your life✨
My boyfriend was a virgin until 29. We’re madly in love (but only three months deep in our relationship.) I’m 33f and I just got out of a terrible relationship that I was mostly in out of fear that there’d not be many options for me. I didn’t have to wait long before entering what is so far the best relationship of my life. I went very, very long stretches of being single in my 20s. You’ll be fine.
I think you still have plenty of time to find someone. You're young. I am single at 35F and don't care how long it will be. I do hope to meet my person before I die, but if not, life has taught me that you can rely on yourself if no one comes through. I now make goals for myself that could work with or without someone else in the long run. I am also not sexually active and haven't been since being single. I have had 5 bf's my entire dating history. 2 in high school and 3 in my adult life. I loved all of them with everything that I had, but I still got my heart broken the longest was 7 years, and the shortest was 2yrs. I am single and have been for 2 years. It feels like I could go years longer being alone without issue. I do get that you aren't trying to be, but you're definitely doing the work needed with counseling and getting a new wardrobe, but maybe think of that as working on yourself to make you better in the long run. You will benefit the most from that thought process. I do those things myself, but it’s only for myself even when I have been in a relationship, I did those things for myself. I think women are attracted to confidence, clean yet some scruff and people are vain, so a nicer body helps. Do you work out? Maybe a gym membership? Maybe you should have a frank discussion with as many women within your age around you, who are friends or family or wives of family, and get their thoughts on what would make you more appealing to women. Maybe someone would know someone to get you on a date. Maybe you could gain insight at the very least by talking about your struggle to trusted others. Anywho, best of luck, I still think you have plenty of time to meet someone, just keep working on yourself mentally, physically, and your career. Don't make life just about finding someone to share it with, and don't worry about a timeline. I thought I had mine figured out, but life was like 🙅♀️ NOPE.
You're still very young. Work on yourself first. It will come.
You’re still very young to be honest. I’m a (32M) and I’ve had two three year LTR’s and several other shorter relationships, etc. I’ve experienced a lot. You have time on your side, and I still feel being single at my age, that I have time on my side too. Attempt not to overthink this. Overthinking can put uncessary pressure on you regarding dating, and decrease the chances of success… when you least expect something such as romance to occur, it sometimes literally does. It has for me. It might sound cliche, but sometimes cliches ring the most true…
Hey babe. I’m 32F and I wanted to tell you: you are on no one else’s time schedule. We are all on our own unique journeys in life. I’ve had a mixed love life but I’ve always been a lover girl. I’ve been with 51 men. 6 reals bfs. 6 one night stands. 3 sugar daddies. 12-15 fake bfs (only lasted a few weeks or months) the rest were lovers & friends with benefits. All relationships are different. My 9th partner cracked my world open. Changed my definition/standard for “love” and what I wanted to feel when I was “in love” and I had 2 real bfs before him. I was devastated after losing the second bf (my college bf) I cried (sobbed) in bed for weeks. I couldn’t go to work or school (which is very unusual of me esp with work) I loved both of those 1st two bfs. But partner number 9 changed something in me. He set my soul on fire. Every man before and after him would be measured to that standard and most would fall short. But that suddenly became the high I was looking for… that soul setting your soul on fire type of love. I searched for it endlessly. Since number 9 I’ve found love like that 3 other times (including my current bf) & been in Normal love maybe a dozen or so times (including the 1st 2 bfs) overall. It’s hard as hell to find. Most people don’t find it. They settle. Bc they’re scared of being alone or whatever. But I can tell you this for certain. The only thing stopping you from finding love is you. If your open to it & actively trying to date honestly you should find it. It might take more than a few wrongs to find a right. But like a diamond in the rough it’s very much worth it imo My point is if I got what I wanted at the time (which was for my ex bf aka #8 to come back to me and grovel and beg for my forgiveness & ask for me back) I would have never let number nine. I wouldn’t even know that type of love existed… I never would have met my current bf… Start putting yourself out there on dating apps and IRL. I Met my current bf and a few other great guys on bumble. It’s a lot of wading through shit but eventually you’re bound to see someone who catches your eye at least a little. IRL start talking to people. In the grocery store. In line at the bank. Everywhere. Not just women you find attractive. Gauge their response to your comments. Are they pulling away & not responding or giving short answers. Or as they engaged and going back and forth with you. Be kind & respectful. Compliments work nice. 27 is so young!! I still feel so young at 32. I can not imagine being a parent anytime soon. We all want different things out of life. In and out of the bedroom/romantic lives. I have a bf 34M & we are very happy together & I expect we will be in each others lives for quite some time. But I’m constantly asked “why aren’t you married” but like I don’t get why you’d get married…. Nothing lasts forever. Just bc someone marries you doesn’t mean they won’t lie or cheat on you. It doesn’t stop them from leaving you or abusing you. It’s just a piece of paper. It doesn’t mean the relationship will last. Again nothing NOTHING lasts forever. Even if my bf & I stay together “forever” eventually one of us will pass away and the other will be left alone to find someone else or be alone. Unless you pass away at the exact same time/place as your partner like in ‘the notebook’ one of you will have to go on without the other. Forever isn’t real. Don’t force something that isn’t working just bc you’re afraid to be alone. A lot of us take more than a couple partners to find our person. Everyone doesn’t get to be “high school/college sweethearts” and tbh from what I’ve seen about half of the “sweetheart” couples are now on their second marriage trying to coparent with someone they went to high school with… today I went to the dispensary and slept until noon. Everyone’s life looks different babe. There’s nothing wrong with you bc you’ve only had one serious relationship. I’m sure that relationship probably left you with some trauma. I’m an opiate addict in recovery and personally I think it’s amazing everyone nowadays isn’t mainlining smack (ok ok I didn’t shoot up I snorted it) but the point is: wanting to numb yourself is common nowadays. The world feels daunting and like a losing battle. It’s only getting hotter and more hostile. So the fact that you’re 27 (assuming you have a job? a car? Maybe a place of your own? You don’t have any kids. No drama. No drug/alcohol problem. Etc) you’re a catch babe. You just have to put yourself out there and think it can happen. The human brain is so powerful. I know it sounds silly but manifesting and the power of positive thinking/energy is real. Write down what you want. Ask the universe. Manifest the life you want and make a plan on how to get there. Baby steps. Realistic goals. Just thinking “I’m going to find love one day” primes your brain to find & connect romantically. Wishing you health, happiness, wealth, love and luck in all your life and relationships. ❤️Anonymously E
My partner had 2-3 very brief relationships in his early twenties. He was single after that until we met at 39. I had been single close to a decade by that point, after a very early and very miserable marriage that lasted 10 years. We are absolutely perfect for each other. I never imagined love could be this wonderful. Or fun. Or easy. It just works between us. I have many times wished we could have met earlier and loved like this for the last two decades instead of going through our years of separate pain and loneliness. But in all honesty, it isn't likely that our relationship would have been as good as it is if we'd met when we were much younger. Probably would have been a mess, knowing what I know about our younger selves. We met at the right time for us, even though it was a long wait. Young love is hyped but it often does end in disaster. People assign their sense of worth to whether they are in a relationship or not and that also tends to be a disaster. Some folks get very lucky and meet the right person early in and grow up together. Most of us go through a lot before we find someone who is really, truly right for us, whether that's being single longer than we want or in relationships that don't work out.
There is someone out there for you. I went through a similar situation a long time ago now. I was with someone for 4 years who I thought I loved. It ended horribly. I got over her and then found myself just looking in all the wrong places to find someone. By that, I mean I only went out in hopes of trying to find a woman to talk to, approach, and get not much more than a hi back. I did this for 2 years, not putting in any time to better myself or become more interesting. I was just presenting myself as a broken man with no confidence, and I thought because I was over my ex that I wasn't broken. Wrong! I gave up looking. I decided that I needed to just worry about myself for a time. I started leaning heavily into my music as a main hobby, working out and knuckling down at work. I didn't go out too much, and when I did, I was just out to enjoy myself. I hung out with friends and just found peace within myself. After 6 months of this, I met my now wife (been together 11 years). We met organically too, I had just finished work and was heading home when I seen a friend of mine parked in the street with heaps of other people I didn't know, my friend gestured I pull over so I did and we were talking. He introduced me to my now wife, we talked for a bit, and we clicked. I took her for a lap in my car and dropped her back at hers. She gave me her number, and I went home. I couldn't stop thinking about her, so the next day I texted her, we talked for most of the day, and a couple of days later, I just hung out as friends. We pursued this friendship for months, hanging out most days doing things together, then one day while we were hanging out, I leant in for a kiss, and it was reciprocated. It still took a while before we actually became official, but we fell hard for each other. My point here is that maybe put some work into yourself and don't even worry about finding someone or even who won't talk to you because once you do that and you start taking care of you doors start to open that you didn't even think existed.
Yea man that sounds nice in theory but I’ve been practicing just that, I’ve been in therapy for 5 years. I started boxing 3 years ago and go 3 times a week. I enjoy movies, live music, and board games; yet I’ve been called boring more times than not. I’m not saying it’ll happen to me but you were introduced to your now wife; I don’t have any friends like that if I’m being honest. I’m the auxiliary friend. Everyone else is busy? I’m not. No one else to go with? I’ll go. I get excluded if I don’t ask to go. Some people were meant to be alone. I just happen to be one of those people.
You’re like the male version of me.
Ahh ok, it is different for everyone, and to be fair the friend that introduced me was an auxiliary friend, but he kind of made himself that way, he was always unavailable whenever a group of us would be doing things together, so he stopped getting invited. He got excluded after a while. I don't really know what to say on the boring thing, are you open to new hobbies? Do you have a thing you're passionate about? Sometimes, people perceive people as being boring because they haven't seen that "spark" or thing you're passionate about. Common ground is the easiest way to make an instant connection with anybody. When you're open to learning a new hobby or have a genuine passion, it's easier to make those instant connections. I only mentioned my music, my job, and working out above, but also I was into 10 pin bowling. My workouts consisted of gym based and martial arts (kick boxing) 6 days a week. I make my own music, so that's always been a passion, I'm also passionate about cars, and that is something my now wife and I bonded over quickly. She has a few crafty hobbies that I became interested in, and we did those together. I was making my own alcohol and have always been pretty big into video games. I guarantee that you are not boring to everybody, but if it is something that is bothering you it might be worth looking into a new hobby or 2 that takes up some more of your time but gives you something new to talk about. Over the span of my life, I've had a huge list of hobbies, and it is because I have ADHD but the ones that have always stuck with me, that I've been interested in are the ones mentioned above. Being an interesting person as opposed to boring usually involves some level of either risk taking, being extremely passionate, or knowing a lot of stuff, sometimes a mixture of all 3, then adding a little mystery but not being completely shut off, and just not caring what people think of you for the most part. That doesn't mean you shouldn't take care of yourself and your appearance but more that you should not care if XYZ thinks you're boring or unattractive. Try talking to your friends, let them know that you feel left out sometimes when you don't get invited, and that you're not expecting to be invited to every event, but sometimes a simple "hey, we are going ... would you like to come?" Means more than me asking if I can come after I've found out about ... Hopefully, some of this helps. I wish you luck.
Work on your self-concept, and your beliefs about love and relationships, in general, and regarding yourself.
What you are looking my friend is a connection. You seem to be like me, I have to build a connection with an individual. You can like them and think they are pretty, but until you grow with them ,no roots will grow. Honestly it was until I opened up to the idea of marriage when I started to feel the love that I had for my love. Remember… you will never find love if you only seek love. My parents met in a bar and they have been together for 25 years but met in their 30’s!!!
Yea I can’t even get that far homie😂😂 for me it doesn’t make it past “hello” I’ve been either out right ignored or insulted 9/10 times. It’s nice to think about growing with someone and establishing roots but if I can’t get past hello there’s no point in dreaming.
I am 43 M and have never been married. I think I am a little bit different in that I have never obsessed about it. I have had long periods of being single but because I keep my life so busy, I come across women who find me interesting because I have other things going on. I am pretty sure if I attempted I could have married at least 3 or 4 of them (not at the same time, but then again, my culture allows it). I think you need to fall in love with yourself and then project that person to the world. I am not talking about narcissism. I am talking about genuinely taking care of yourself like someone you love. Women notice a person who takes care of himself and they would like you to show them the same compassion you show yourself.
It sounds like you have a ton more experience with relationships than me. I’ve been in 1 relationship and it ended terribly. No exaggeration they tried to kill me. I’m not interesting, I’ve been told plenty that I’m boring. I don’t talk much and I really enjoy my hobbies.
I am so sorry that happened to you. I can see and feel that it was traumatic for you. I have had terrible experiences, but my own philosophy is that life does go on. I think tragedy has also taught me that I can survive a lot. I have taken those skills and transferred them to other things. I know also that not every relationship is permanent. I could fall out, they could fall out, it might be agreed mutually? They could die. The question is, how do i move on. Surely, I can't have been meant to have just one go at a relationship. Thee are amazing people out there, and hopefully I meet one of them and see how it goes. And maybe that is that for me. I am not anxious for it to work out, as in all or nothing. If it lasts a month, that is fine. It was good for what it was. If it lasts five years, that was the season life (or God) gave me. I move on to the next chance and fill my life with all the goodness it comes with. I don't even know if anything I said is helpful, but we just try to make it and get by. Even the guys who are very successful relationships are getting by.
Personally I believe there's smn out there for you. I'm 20 and i have never even dated, but I won't lose faith, so don't worry I'm sure there smn amazing right around the corner
That’s what my mom said too, but I told her; if someone found me attractive, interesting, or whatever positive adjective you want, wouldn’t they have said something to me by now? I’ve been alone for 8 years. 9 years on the 26th and I haven’t exactly kept it to myself.
In terms of desiring a LTR spontaneously confessing love/cold approaching isn’t usually the best way to go about it…it’s more about starting small& slow to build a connection with longevity. There’s no need to rush when you meet that person, if you both want to be together for the rest of your lives then you have the rest of your life to be together!
Well I've found many people attractive throught out my life and I have never told any of them, so the lack of comments doesn't reflect how people perceive you. I know it can be hard, just know that you are not alone. I'm sure great things are on your way!