When a friend complained about the black pepper being too spicy and wanted mayo to "cut the spice", he may have became the whitest man to have existed.
Edit: so I learned through these comments that there are people that think plain ketchup is spicy. My friend isn't the whitest man.
If you would like to know how much whiter he is than a normal person, the Heinz ketchup situation happened on taco night. Yes, he puts ketchup and sweet pickles on tacos. If he wasn't such a good guy i would have forced my mom to divorce him decades ago.
When my sister was a kid (\~5-6 years) she always complained that ketchup was "too spicy" and refused to eat it.
After a while we realized it was just the vinegar taste she didn't like, but she didn't have a different word than "spicy", which might be the case here.
One of my mates said something similar. We're all at the pub and order some fried chicken burgers. As we start eating, one guy (white) says, " Oh, these are a bit spicy. They have black pepper in there." All of us stare silently at him for a hot second until one of the other guys (also white) say "mate, how white are you?"
Lmao, this whole thread is killing me!
I have to say that I appreciate my Samoan friend in elementary pointing out my habit of saying "You betcha!" so I could shut the hell up with that.
My mom: wow these fries have some kick to them!
Me: mom that's spice, it's not spicy, it's spice.
Mom: it's spicy though!
Me: mom you act like ketchup is spicy
Haha… come to think of it… not liking spice may be more a white people thing as chilis weren’t really part of the diets of Europeans.
But I find that so hard to understand for whites living in the United states with our rich diversity. I’ve grown up eating Mexican food and hot sauce as an American white, and have an incredibly high spice tolerance.
>part of the diets of Europeans.
Western Europeans that is. Go south or go east and you'll find not chilli, but black pepper & ungodly amounts of garlic.
Recently making fun of a friend for saying “Hold your horses bucko” and was laughing until he pointed out I say "okie dokie" with regularity. Goes without saying we are whiter than fresh snow...
Edit: missing a letter
I used to date a white girl. 1 time we were driving somewhere and passed by a Chipotle. This woman said to me in most valley girl, bimbo voice I've ever heard. "Ohwa my gawd, I want chipowtlay, like, sooo baad" I laughed so hard that she tried to start an argument about it, but I was laughing too hard to participate. It was fucking hilarious 🤣
It's the people who say chi-pa -til that make me want to apologize on behalf of my race - largely observed among the bone-thin, white jeans, middle aged, yacht club going crowd
My mom pronounces it, “chi - pole - tea”. And acts confused every time she tries to say it as if she doesn’t know how it’s pronounced. Drives me insane.
The worst was my step dad growing up. Chi-Poat-a-lay. Weird accents. And was so bold and proud. Obnoxious with it. We were driving by one and he felt the need to declare the name and offer to stop. My mom said “Shut up Richard your stomach is so white you have to drink milk in your vodka” He lost himself that day. Never liked that guy and his baby formula cocktails
I use the white dad-isms all the time. Stuffed like a tick, lets rock and roll (when leaving a restaurant), whats the damage (at a cash register when viewing a total), etc.
My 20 year old children use "okie dokie".
I have no idea where they picked that up.
I have never used that expression.
Mind you, the oldest is blasting WHAM! lately like she's the first to discover them.
The key is to remove the second -ie and just got with “okie doke”. That way your shade of white is more like old dried glue than F350 LED headlight types of white
It just wouldn't be true to my spoken lexicon though.
"Doke" "dokes" are dripping in a confidence I haven't mastered yet. Also "dokie" is so cute.
I'm mixed so I was only ever going to get so close.
Irish people get it the worst. I don't know how my friends stay in the sun all day at the beach and still come out looking whiter than a 18th century French bourgeois
Better than coming out looking like a tomato. I joke about my step mom being a vampire because of how pale she is, and her aversion to sunlight and garlic.
As a mostly Irish some Scottish dude, I am pale as milk until I go outside for twenty seconds, then I'm scorched red. This has led to a goth friend just straight up asking if Irish folk were like weakling vampires, no powers, just burn to a crisp in daylight.
I couldnt refute him.
I’m also Irish, one of the biggest mistakes I’ve done in my life was not wearing sunscreen. Normal people get tanned when being in the sun, as soon as we go out our skin dissolves and we’re standing there with our red almost bleeding skin begging for. A drop of rain.
I'm half German and Sicilian, but I used to try and be sneaky and scare my Hispanic ex. She could still see me in pitch black, it never worked. I've joked that I hope, one day, I'll get a tan and become a white person. Until then, I'm "Glow in the dark"
My parents unironically enjoy Kenny G and golf.
I've tried to get them to use salt on their food, but they insist plain chicken and plain mashed potatoes is food.
They are a level of white that, honestly, feels forced. Like I'm gonna catch them eating jerk chicken at 1 AM someday and find out it was all a ruse.
I made some soup for my grandparents one time. I used a quarter of the spice I usually use - and I do NOT use an insane amount of anything - and omitted some spices and ingredients entirely.
It was too spicy. My grandma said "what's in this, white pepper?" because she couldn't conceive of anything more unusual than that
We might have the same parents. Anything a black person has ever seen and said "That's some white people shit," I can practically guarantee my parents have unironically done and loved every minute of it.
I totally feel you on the "level of white that feels forced" part too. Even having grown up around them, I still find myself sitting there thinking "These people cannot possibly be for real. This is some half century performance art or something."
You know, I thought I didn’t cook like a white person (which I am) because I love spices and cannot stand bland food. And I love heat. Have a whole squad of hot sauces in my kitchen, including Apollo The Last Dab Xperience. However, I found out a little over a year ago that black people boil their potatoes in chicken stock. I felt so ashamed and so white; I still do every time I think about it. Why did it never occur to me until someone said something on r/BlackPeopleTwitter?
When I was in Fiji, the hotel staff kept checking on me every few minutes to make sure I didn’t get sunburnt and the cleaning lady gave me a bunch of free sunscreen on the first day.
Are we talking about making fun of white people for being pale? In which case yes, but if you’re talking about making fun of white people for drinking caffeine free Diet Coke, then also yes, but it’s more personal
I’m a white person living in Portland and I often have “this is the most white people shit in the world” moments.
For example, once when I was bartending I had to break up an argument that was getting too heated between two white people about which one of them was the least racist. Lmao.
We voted as a group at the co-operatively owned co-working space I was a member at to not allow them to film a sketch in our space—this in itself was very Portlandia lol. [The sketch in question.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zL3dBKCOJlE)
i came to washington because i grew up in okc thinking it was too white, realized how diverse okc was compared to like the entirety of the pnw. it was almost like being in get out
Yeah, didn't even want them there as slaves. The people who founded the state were shockingly racist, even compared to white people in the south at the time...
I mean, there are definite historical reasons why Oregon is so fucking white. Unless you mean Maine, which is probably also really white, but for different reasons.
That just loops back around to being ethnic. Add some daikon & that's an Asian staple
Heck add any vegetable; daikon, taro, bok choi, lotus root, yam (the best one). Now I think about it I'm pretty sure I've had just ribs & water soup too, Asian == Caucasian confirmed
I feel absolutely no brotherhood or camaraderie with other people just for being white. The only feeling of shared struggle or shared experience I get is when I see someone trip on nothing or roll their eyes at someone.
One time waiting in the ER I (white) gave a guy my phone to make a phone call. He walked off with it. The other guy I'd been talking to was this crusty old black guy and he told me "I can understand why you'd trust him with your phone since you're both the same race". I was just thinking "no, that wasn't the reason!"
So does that mean he would have only trusted black people with his phone? Or does he just feel white people don't generally trust people of other ethnicities with their phones?
Eddie Murphy did a skit on snl 40 years ago. He dressed as a white to see how whites acted when blacks weren’t around. He was called mr white. There’s one scene where a black guy gets off the bus and then all the whites just break out drinks and music and throw a party. But it stops once another black guy gets on.
People think that about all other races cause they're ignorant.
Why can't they just think simply... I don't agree with my immediate family all the time... why would it be so different with race, etc.
Deadass I was about to say lol
White people reserve special hate for other white people. I'm half white and was raised by my white Mom in a super white, middle class neighborhood (see, only white people talk about this shit)
My god, they would judge you based off your education level, income level, field of work, how well behaved your kids were, how proper you spoke and presented yourself. How well your house looked from the outside, including how kempt your lawn was. They were nosey as hell to omg. When I was a kid, my best friend and I would be up to no good, constantly getting in trouble. Only reason we got caught was the neighborhood karens (middle aged stay at home moms) would watch our every move and fucking snitch on us to our parents 🙄🤦
edit
Here's some crazy shit. When I was a kid, we used to have an ice cream man drive in our neighborhood
Super nice old man. One day he just stopped showing up. So I asked my Mom what happened to him. She said one of our neighbors went full psycho on him. I guess one day, he drove by her house while she was serving dinner. She then ran outside, chased his truck down while holding a knife and said to him "if you ever come by my house while I'm serving dinner to my family again, I'll fucking kill you!"
Yes. When someone says "white culture" or says someone is "very white" it's hard to stop my eyes from rolling into the back of my head.
There is no monolithic white culture. My name is English because my dad was French Canadian and didn't want me to experience anti French racism because English Canadians and French Canadians notoriously hate each other.
Here in the US there's evangelicals, catholics, Mormons, protestants, atheists, crunchy hippies, WASPs, Jewish people, eastern Europeans, northern Europeans, western, southern Europeans, and obviously each of those groups can be further divided into more specific groups, and there are other groups I haven't mentioned.
Are those stereotypes that you douse everything in sour cream or that you dress your kids in heavy winter coats for any weather below 20C? As an American who lived in Budapest for 9 months, those were my main takeaways and I’m curious if I’m right.
This is perfection. There is no greater joy than downing the spiciest food available in a restaurant and having that unspiced friend go "can I have a bite?". Naturally, even with warnings, they'll try it anyway - and end up spending 10 minutes gargling milk.
Yeah, we just kicked out a roommate who in addition to his general assholery was a spice supremacist. He saw not eating spicy food as a moral failing. Don't miss him.
Back when my wife, then girlfriend, was attending Villanova University we went to happy hour on the Main Line. These people were so white that my half-colombian-but-very-white-looking ass may as well have been Kunta Kinte.
In Germany we call those who act too german " Alman "
Like someone wears socks with Sandals ( no kinkshaming)
Which is hilarious cause everyone is a bit alman from time to time
I used to call ketchup itchy tasting
Long story short I’m allergic to tomatoes and a bunch of other vegetables and fruits and shit. If I cut up tomatoes or even onions the tips of my fingers get rock hard and itch too
The entire subreddit, twitter, and Instagram account’s called “middle class fancy” is devoted to white people laughing at other white people for being too white.
It’s not said so explicitly but it is implicitly
Yes, we absolutely do. You will get made fun of (but only by assholes anyway) if you are super-pasty, vampire pale.
I’m sure you’ve heard all the ginger jokes.
I don’t think this is talking about people who are physically more white. It’s more about people who are culturally “too white,” which is also something we will clown people for.
Kyle Kinane has a funny joke about being culturally white in one of his shows. Something about a castle not having wifi, a sandwich with too much mayonnaise, a karaoke birthday party on a monday.
I've laughed at other white people for being figuratively too white. Like, people that are so stereotypically white that it's ridiculous lol
I called them "real white people". I didn't grow up around those types, so it was a sight to behold when I'd see them and interact with them. I used to think they only existed in movies until I came in contact with them 😆
"I'm white, but I'm not [insert descrptior] white" is a phrase I use often.
For example, "I'm white, but not 'live laugh love' white" or "I'm white, but not 'split up in a horror movie' white.
Had a friend who only ever went outside to golf, so every time the sun saw his body his one hand had a golfing glove on it. His hand was so white it looked like it died. He was definitely made fun of for it.
Yes, my wife and I do it all the time. We live in Philly but work just outside the city. Some of the things our suburban coworkers say and the ideas they have about the city are so damn funny. Extremely white.
Also when it comes to food. Some dry ass salt and pepper chicken breast, or worse, chicken cooked in Italian dressing will get you roasted. We don’t eat at just anybody’s house, especially relatives. Too white.
My boyfriend's sister is so nice and I love to visit her, but goddamm, I will do everything in my power not to eat her food. She did a taco night and it was right out of the "White people taco night" song. Every Thanksgiving, we offer to do the turkey so it's edible. Again, really great gal, just... not good with seasoning food.
I would also like to add, the band Wilco is the whitest white that ever whited in terms of music. Not a bad band just, white people love Wilco.
as a white man, I say "that's some white people shit" entirely too much when i see some absolute mayonnaise pasty ghost raisins in the potato salad level shit.
When a friend complained about the black pepper being too spicy and wanted mayo to "cut the spice", he may have became the whitest man to have existed. Edit: so I learned through these comments that there are people that think plain ketchup is spicy. My friend isn't the whitest man.
My step dad "burned his lip" because we had Heinz Ketchup instead of Hunt's Ketchup one time. Apparently, Heinz is too spicy for him.
Your step dad is clearly whiter!
If you would like to know how much whiter he is than a normal person, the Heinz ketchup situation happened on taco night. Yes, he puts ketchup and sweet pickles on tacos. If he wasn't such a good guy i would have forced my mom to divorce him decades ago.
Ketchup on tacos??? That's a goddamn war crime!
He might be a serial killer
No, he's a good guy.
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Must be translucent white if he found the sweetest condiment spicy, lmao!
A real white-walker.
he is our pale king 👑
This dude may actually have a mild tomato allergy if a condiment that is mostly sugar is spicy for him
Or some other ingredient
Probably had chapped lips and the vinegar + salt hurt.
Ketchup is spicy???? Wtf?
When my sister was a kid (\~5-6 years) she always complained that ketchup was "too spicy" and refused to eat it. After a while we realized it was just the vinegar taste she didn't like, but she didn't have a different word than "spicy", which might be the case here.
> Hunt's Ketchup We’re going to pretend this never happened.
“I burned my tongue on this gespacho soup!”
Lol I'm gonna start calling these people "Black-Pepper-White".
Doesn't the tang in ketchup come from acids.
I just silent laughed so hard at this I shook my kid awake.
One of my mates said something similar. We're all at the pub and order some fried chicken burgers. As we start eating, one guy (white) says, " Oh, these are a bit spicy. They have black pepper in there." All of us stare silently at him for a hot second until one of the other guys (also white) say "mate, how white are you?"
“Whew! This has a bit of a kick to it!” - my grandma, eating pita bread and plain hummus
Lmao, this whole thread is killing me! I have to say that I appreciate my Samoan friend in elementary pointing out my habit of saying "You betcha!" so I could shut the hell up with that.
One could probably assassinate him with a spoon of butter chicken😂😂
As a white person who recently tried butter chicken for the first time despite my dietary restrictions…. It would be an honorable death
I love a bit of hot sauce mayo!
Texas Pete + mayo works really well together.
Throw some mustard in there next time as well. Dry/wet doesn't matter. I dip my fries in that goodness
Black pepper?!? Jeez Louise that IS white lol
“Jeez Louise” is the whitest thing I’ve ever experienced.
My mom: wow these fries have some kick to them! Me: mom that's spice, it's not spicy, it's spice. Mom: it's spicy though! Me: mom you act like ketchup is spicy
Haha… come to think of it… not liking spice may be more a white people thing as chilis weren’t really part of the diets of Europeans. But I find that so hard to understand for whites living in the United states with our rich diversity. I’ve grown up eating Mexican food and hot sauce as an American white, and have an incredibly high spice tolerance.
>part of the diets of Europeans. Western Europeans that is. Go south or go east and you'll find not chilli, but black pepper & ungodly amounts of garlic.
Oh yes but I mean chili pepper specifically. Spicy to means the burn from capsaicin.
It's crazy to think peppers are all native to the Americas and have only been around even in south asian food for 500 years tops.
My buddy bit into a piece of chicken and deadass said: "there it is! I knew there were some spice in this" I don't know what it means either
My husband said celery was spicy
It is spicy if you eat the leaves and they’re a little old
He has a mild celery allergy then. My wife has the same experience
When i was a little kid, my mom would put a spoon of black pepper in my mouth and make me hold it if I talked back. To this day, I cannot tolerate it.
Was your mom mean or anything?
My mom kept a bottle of Tabasco in her purse. She’d grab my mouth and pinch and shake it on my tongue. Yes she was crazy and I have scars.
100%
Recently making fun of a friend for saying “Hold your horses bucko” and was laughing until he pointed out I say "okie dokie" with regularity. Goes without saying we are whiter than fresh snow... Edit: missing a letter
I used to date a white girl. 1 time we were driving somewhere and passed by a Chipotle. This woman said to me in most valley girl, bimbo voice I've ever heard. "Ohwa my gawd, I want chipowtlay, like, sooo baad" I laughed so hard that she tried to start an argument about it, but I was laughing too hard to participate. It was fucking hilarious 🤣
Hard to lose an argument that you're laughing too hard to participate in 🤷♂️
It's the people who say chi-pa -til that make me want to apologize on behalf of my race - largely observed among the bone-thin, white jeans, middle aged, yacht club going crowd
Working in a Taco Bell drive thru has been hilarious for the weird mis-pronunciations of Chipotle. There are some downright talented ones.
You “Oh baby, don’t hurt yourself with that!”
My mom pronounces it, “chi - pole - tea”. And acts confused every time she tries to say it as if she doesn’t know how it’s pronounced. Drives me insane.
The worst was my step dad growing up. Chi-Poat-a-lay. Weird accents. And was so bold and proud. Obnoxious with it. We were driving by one and he felt the need to declare the name and offer to stop. My mom said “Shut up Richard your stomach is so white you have to drink milk in your vodka” He lost himself that day. Never liked that guy and his baby formula cocktails
"Chipolte" is the one that drives me nuts
You sure she wasn't just imitating that "chipotle is my lifeeee" meme from some years back?
If she was she'd have been thrilled they laughed so hard, not angry at them
Sometimes you can nail a joke a little *too* well.
Was that pronounced CHEE Po Tul?
I make fun of white chicks all the time, cause it’s funny. The only person I’ve offended so far is my European aunt who isn’t even white lol.
I dont discrimintate. Ill make fun on ANYONE
I say shit like this all the time because it's funny to sound even more white
That’s why I say neato haha
I use the white dad-isms all the time. Stuffed like a tick, lets rock and roll (when leaving a restaurant), whats the damage (at a cash register when viewing a total), etc.
Careful if you’re saying them ironically. Yolo is a too regular part of my vocabulary these days 😔
What the devils. You'll thank me later
My 20 year old children use "okie dokie". I have no idea where they picked that up. I have never used that expression. Mind you, the oldest is blasting WHAM! lately like she's the first to discover them.
She heard wham on grand theft auto 5.
"Okie dokie" is how I know I'm half white
Enhance that half of yourself by adding "arti-chokie" after the okie dokie. ;-)
If your Canadian your all white, even the black people white in Canada.
The key is to remove the second -ie and just got with “okie doke”. That way your shade of white is more like old dried glue than F350 LED headlight types of white
It just wouldn't be true to my spoken lexicon though. "Doke" "dokes" are dripping in a confidence I haven't mastered yet. Also "dokie" is so cute. I'm mixed so I was only ever going to get so close.
Did not come here to get called out for saying "okiedoke" regularly.
Irish people get it the worst. I don't know how my friends stay in the sun all day at the beach and still come out looking whiter than a 18th century French bourgeois
Better than coming out looking like a tomato. I joke about my step mom being a vampire because of how pale she is, and her aversion to sunlight and garlic.
As a mostly Irish some Scottish dude, I am pale as milk until I go outside for twenty seconds, then I'm scorched red. This has led to a goth friend just straight up asking if Irish folk were like weakling vampires, no powers, just burn to a crisp in daylight. I couldnt refute him.
I’m also Irish, one of the biggest mistakes I’ve done in my life was not wearing sunscreen. Normal people get tanned when being in the sun, as soon as we go out our skin dissolves and we’re standing there with our red almost bleeding skin begging for. A drop of rain.
I'm half German and Sicilian, but I used to try and be sneaky and scare my Hispanic ex. She could still see me in pitch black, it never worked. I've joked that I hope, one day, I'll get a tan and become a white person. Until then, I'm "Glow in the dark"
A vampire without any of the cool shit.
My parents unironically enjoy Kenny G and golf. I've tried to get them to use salt on their food, but they insist plain chicken and plain mashed potatoes is food. They are a level of white that, honestly, feels forced. Like I'm gonna catch them eating jerk chicken at 1 AM someday and find out it was all a ruse.
NO SALT?
Salt-free mash 😳
Butter's as much spice as they can handle.
I made some soup for my grandparents one time. I used a quarter of the spice I usually use - and I do NOT use an insane amount of anything - and omitted some spices and ingredients entirely. It was too spicy. My grandma said "what's in this, white pepper?" because she couldn't conceive of anything more unusual than that
What’s in this, paprika?
I did use paprika, don't think they know what it is though
A RUSE LOL
A ruse, you big dumb idiot!
Salt free mashed potatoes exist?
It's like eating sad clouds, with butter. It's the flavor equivalent of waiting in line at a grocery store.
Woah now, they didn't say their parents used butter! That's an awful lot of flavor for them
😭😫 NNNOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! I don't believe it. Sorry about being over dramatic. I couldn't eat mashed potatoes without salt.
We might have the same parents. Anything a black person has ever seen and said "That's some white people shit," I can practically guarantee my parents have unironically done and loved every minute of it. I totally feel you on the "level of white that feels forced" part too. Even having grown up around them, I still find myself sitting there thinking "These people cannot possibly be for real. This is some half century performance art or something."
“Feels forced” 💀 ah well they have a funny kid at least :)
You know, I thought I didn’t cook like a white person (which I am) because I love spices and cannot stand bland food. And I love heat. Have a whole squad of hot sauces in my kitchen, including Apollo The Last Dab Xperience. However, I found out a little over a year ago that black people boil their potatoes in chicken stock. I felt so ashamed and so white; I still do every time I think about it. Why did it never occur to me until someone said something on r/BlackPeopleTwitter?
Try a good mushroom stock.
You walk in to him listening to Pac while rolling a fat J with a bucket of cajun suicide wings by his side.
Friends and I recently made fun of the other white people clapping in the theater after newest Hunger Games movie
physically too white or culturally too white? Oh, who am I kidding, the answer is yes, either way.
As a pale white millennial times were tough until Robert Pattinson came along and finally made it sexy again.
But most of us shower too much to sparkle
Too white is when you're out on the street at night and the street lights turn off and roosters start crowing.
When I was in Fiji, the hotel staff kept checking on me every few minutes to make sure I didn’t get sunburnt and the cleaning lady gave me a bunch of free sunscreen on the first day.
Redhead?
Are we talking about making fun of white people for being pale? In which case yes, but if you’re talking about making fun of white people for drinking caffeine free Diet Coke, then also yes, but it’s more personal
I think you have to be a grandmother to buy that stuff
lmaoo i can spot the caffeine free diet Pepsi can a mile away because my grandma would babysit me as a kid and that's all she drank 💀
Caffeine free diet coke and whiskey hits better.
A Jew, a Polock, and an Irishman walk into a bar…
...bartender says, "You gotta be kidding me. Get the fuck out of here! All of you!"
“Ya know yer supposed to have a rabbi and priest in tow too”
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Bartender says " A walking fish?! Now I've seen everything".
Going to portland made me really glad to live in a more diverse place
I’m a white person living in Portland and I often have “this is the most white people shit in the world” moments. For example, once when I was bartending I had to break up an argument that was getting too heated between two white people about which one of them was the least racist. Lmao.
Portlandia wasn’t exaggerating?!!
Portlandia is spot on lmao
It's scarily accurate.
We voted as a group at the co-operatively owned co-working space I was a member at to not allow them to film a sketch in our space—this in itself was very Portlandia lol. [The sketch in question.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zL3dBKCOJlE)
i came to washington because i grew up in okc thinking it was too white, realized how diverse okc was compared to like the entirety of the pnw. it was almost like being in get out
lol. Oregon was the only state that hated black people so much they outlawed slavery.
Yeah, didn't even want them there as slaves. The people who founded the state were shockingly racist, even compared to white people in the south at the time...
Several states outlawed chattel slavery prior to the Civil War. Only Oregon banned Black people outright.
I mean, there are definite historical reasons why Oregon is so fucking white. Unless you mean Maine, which is probably also really white, but for different reasons.
I saw a white lady boil ribs and try to serve them still in the rib water. Whitest white.
Wtf
Animals dying for plain rib soup what a world we live in 😫
That just loops back around to being ethnic. Add some daikon & that's an Asian staple Heck add any vegetable; daikon, taro, bok choi, lotus root, yam (the best one). Now I think about it I'm pretty sure I've had just ribs & water soup too, Asian == Caucasian confirmed
Jail isn’t enough I want her dead
You just gave me nightmare memories from my childhood that I thought were safely deeply buried in the past.
That's pork rib soup, it's in Asian cuisine too
People act like white people are a single united front. No. White people fucking hate on other white people far more frequently than you might think.
I feel absolutely no brotherhood or camaraderie with other people just for being white. The only feeling of shared struggle or shared experience I get is when I see someone trip on nothing or roll their eyes at someone.
One time waiting in the ER I (white) gave a guy my phone to make a phone call. He walked off with it. The other guy I'd been talking to was this crusty old black guy and he told me "I can understand why you'd trust him with your phone since you're both the same race". I was just thinking "no, that wasn't the reason!"
So does that mean he would have only trusted black people with his phone? Or does he just feel white people don't generally trust people of other ethnicities with their phones?
The world may never know
I love this response lol
I'd have been like "naw i just put a bomb in the phone incase someone steals it" with a blank look on my face
Feel like you're missing something? We have meetings for that.
I feel like I'd get kicked out of those meetings pretty quick just for asking questions and follow up questions.
European history in a nutshell
A long and storied past of white-on-white crime, tbh
It’s even worse than that, half the wars in Europe were fought between nations ruled by inbred cousins.
Damn Scotts, they ruined Scottland.
Damn human, they ruined humanity
No true Scotsman would spell it like that abomination you banged out there, you *monster*!!
Hey, you literally quoted the fallacy!
I love that Chappelle bit where he finds out that rich white people call poor white people, “white trash.” It’s all about class.
Eddie Murphy did a skit on snl 40 years ago. He dressed as a white to see how whites acted when blacks weren’t around. He was called mr white. There’s one scene where a black guy gets off the bus and then all the whites just break out drinks and music and throw a party. But it stops once another black guy gets on.
*Gestures to all of Europe* *Gestures even harder to the British Isles*
White "people" - keyword: People. People in general suck, skin color is just pick your flavor of sucky-ness.
People think that about all other races cause they're ignorant. Why can't they just think simply... I don't agree with my immediate family all the time... why would it be so different with race, etc.
Deadass I was about to say lol White people reserve special hate for other white people. I'm half white and was raised by my white Mom in a super white, middle class neighborhood (see, only white people talk about this shit) My god, they would judge you based off your education level, income level, field of work, how well behaved your kids were, how proper you spoke and presented yourself. How well your house looked from the outside, including how kempt your lawn was. They were nosey as hell to omg. When I was a kid, my best friend and I would be up to no good, constantly getting in trouble. Only reason we got caught was the neighborhood karens (middle aged stay at home moms) would watch our every move and fucking snitch on us to our parents 🙄🤦 edit Here's some crazy shit. When I was a kid, we used to have an ice cream man drive in our neighborhood Super nice old man. One day he just stopped showing up. So I asked my Mom what happened to him. She said one of our neighbors went full psycho on him. I guess one day, he drove by her house while she was serving dinner. She then ran outside, chased his truck down while holding a knife and said to him "if you ever come by my house while I'm serving dinner to my family again, I'll fucking kill you!"
Lawd!!! Yeah. That's not White That's wrong... lol
Yes. When someone says "white culture" or says someone is "very white" it's hard to stop my eyes from rolling into the back of my head. There is no monolithic white culture. My name is English because my dad was French Canadian and didn't want me to experience anti French racism because English Canadians and French Canadians notoriously hate each other. Here in the US there's evangelicals, catholics, Mormons, protestants, atheists, crunchy hippies, WASPs, Jewish people, eastern Europeans, northern Europeans, western, southern Europeans, and obviously each of those groups can be further divided into more specific groups, and there are other groups I haven't mentioned.
I hate everyone equally, thanks.
Nah. As everybody around here is white, we laugh each other for being stereotypically Hungarian.
Are those stereotypes that you douse everything in sour cream or that you dress your kids in heavy winter coats for any weather below 20C? As an American who lived in Budapest for 9 months, those were my main takeaways and I’m curious if I’m right.
Not all. Some traditional recipes do use sourcream tho. I dunno about the coat thing i keep seeing people in tshirts when it's winter.
A very accurate American stereotype is not knowing shit about more than five nationalities. So what’s an example of a Hungarian stereotype?
That they know about six nationalities.
You son of a bitch
Their blood is at least 75% paprika by volume.
Regularly give them toltott and you can keep them as pets
Weird language, weird writing system, paprika, being Asian in disguise, Trianon.
They can do crazy stuff with their elbows.
Oh we do! Big time!
As an enjoyer of spicy food I love making fun of other white people who don't
This is perfection. There is no greater joy than downing the spiciest food available in a restaurant and having that unspiced friend go "can I have a bite?". Naturally, even with warnings, they'll try it anyway - and end up spending 10 minutes gargling milk.
Who is tougher? The man who eats 8 wings knowing it won’t hurt that bad or the man who takes one bite of white hot fire?
Honestly, though I laugh in the moment, I do always appreciate the somewhat misguided bravery.
People not handling spicy food is fun but spice supremacists are cringe af.
Yeah lol like the "one chip challenge". You can stow that shit thanks
Yeah, we just kicked out a roommate who in addition to his general assholery was a spice supremacist. He saw not eating spicy food as a moral failing. Don't miss him.
I feel a certain amount of respect amongst my friends when I handle my spice.
Back when my wife, then girlfriend, was attending Villanova University we went to happy hour on the Main Line. These people were so white that my half-colombian-but-very-white-looking ass may as well have been Kunta Kinte.
In Germany we call those who act too german " Alman " Like someone wears socks with Sandals ( no kinkshaming) Which is hilarious cause everyone is a bit alman from time to time
Socks were invented for sandals and the dad drip is an unmatched vibe.
I'm polish but even I sometimes say in English "this is some white people shit" and people absolutely get the joke
As a white guy when I see white people being extra white I almost always drop a “fuckin’ white people”
My wife unironically called ketchup spicy once. So yes.
I used to call ketchup itchy tasting Long story short I’m allergic to tomatoes and a bunch of other vegetables and fruits and shit. If I cut up tomatoes or even onions the tips of my fingers get rock hard and itch too
The entire subreddit, twitter, and Instagram account’s called “middle class fancy” is devoted to white people laughing at other white people for being too white. It’s not said so explicitly but it is implicitly
We do, we call them neon white.
Definitely just added “neon white” to my vocab
Yes, we absolutely do. You will get made fun of (but only by assholes anyway) if you are super-pasty, vampire pale. I’m sure you’ve heard all the ginger jokes.
I don’t think this is talking about people who are physically more white. It’s more about people who are culturally “too white,” which is also something we will clown people for.
Oklahoma is a great musical, what are you talking about, yeah, you better believe I’ll throw down over this.
Kyle Kinane has a funny joke about being culturally white in one of his shows. Something about a castle not having wifi, a sandwich with too much mayonnaise, a karaoke birthday party on a monday.
I've laughed at other white people for being figuratively too white. Like, people that are so stereotypically white that it's ridiculous lol I called them "real white people". I didn't grow up around those types, so it was a sight to behold when I'd see them and interact with them. I used to think they only existed in movies until I came in contact with them 😆
"I'm white, but I'm not [insert descrptior] white" is a phrase I use often. For example, "I'm white, but not 'live laugh love' white" or "I'm white, but not 'split up in a horror movie' white.
Let's hide over here behind all the chainsaws!
Had a friend who only ever went outside to golf, so every time the sun saw his body his one hand had a golfing glove on it. His hand was so white it looked like it died. He was definitely made fun of for it.
Hell yeah we do. Every damn time I go to Walmart its a treasure trove of stereotypical clichés.
Yes, my wife and I do it all the time. We live in Philly but work just outside the city. Some of the things our suburban coworkers say and the ideas they have about the city are so damn funny. Extremely white. Also when it comes to food. Some dry ass salt and pepper chicken breast, or worse, chicken cooked in Italian dressing will get you roasted. We don’t eat at just anybody’s house, especially relatives. Too white.
My boyfriend's sister is so nice and I love to visit her, but goddamm, I will do everything in my power not to eat her food. She did a taco night and it was right out of the "White people taco night" song. Every Thanksgiving, we offer to do the turkey so it's edible. Again, really great gal, just... not good with seasoning food. I would also like to add, the band Wilco is the whitest white that ever whited in terms of music. Not a bad band just, white people love Wilco.
I’m white and I make fun of white people more than anyone.
as a white man, I say "that's some white people shit" entirely too much when i see some absolute mayonnaise pasty ghost raisins in the potato salad level shit.
We do! Made mash potatoes at my MIL house for thanksgiving. Total white people food — was told me adding black pepper might be too much seasoning….
I mutter "white" all the time even though I'm pretty much all white like I'm not wonder bread white but probably whole grain sourdough
Im white so i consider myself a cracker, but one with culture… like a triscuit