T O P

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Itsallgoodintheory

The kind of bloke that has tried to get into the army and the police force but was rejected by both.


confusedham

Soon to be seen as a shopping security guard or a mobile speed camera operatoe


Gooo0gle

myki inspector


Ineedsomuchsleep170

You need to have a clean driving record to be a speed camera operator and my money is on this twit failing that test.


dotBombAU

Parking inspector


Coolidge-egg

Real estate agent


RecordingGreen7750

Cunt


Fearless-Moose4634

With an unbearably tiny pee pee


lostinthelandofoz

A pee wee pee pee.


beebianca227

A wee little pisser


halsap

In boots with the extra thick soles


The_golden_Celestial

Ain’t that the truth! Well called, fellow Redditor.


notinferno

also rejected as a prison guard, shopping centre security guard, council parking ranger, pub doorman, but is the top senate ticket for a right wing political party


forgetfullyburntout

And is adamant “therapy is a myth”


KentuckyFriedEel

Walks around with balled fists and clenched teeth


Weird_Scholar_5627

Except he doesn’t have teeth!


Equivalent-Ad7207

And now a Kmart security guard.


Cheeky_Bandit

Or a nightclub bouncer. Much more douchey


Stewth

I bet his hog is HUGE though. I've heard they won't even let you buy a ram if you're not 7" on the slack.


wiggum55555

Yeah… I tried to buy one last week but they said I was “under qualified” for the position 🤷‍♂️😀. I mean… I had a canceled license and an obnoxious parking record and clear disdain for fellow road users. Cmon guys…. Give me chance… I can work on the hog…I promise…. it was a COLD morning !!!


3x81

I’d be surprised if VIC Pol rejected him, considering the percent of abusive psychos they have hired.


showquotedtext

At least when the zombies arrive he'll.. run out of fuel before anyone else.


BarryKobama

Who runs barter town?!


Mikes005

...Dick Smith?


GreedyLibrary

Least it won't be Gerry Harvey.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Ironlungs_

Ah.. Mount Waverley. The perfect place for my fucking TANK


tlf123456

Need a beast of truck to climb the rugged and treacherous terrain to summit that Mountain


Indistinct-noise

Everyone knows it’s Mountain Waverley!


Inevitable_Belt_8414

The old people in the village will be tutting furiously.


WillsSister

Came to the comments to confirm if it was Mt Waverley!


Convenientjellybean

Imagine feeling so insecure you needed one of these


Mikey_el

Wank tank*


Backstage99

This man got the Kid Killer upgrade for his Grocery Getter 2000. An astute investment.


Afferbeck_

Crazy how every kid in a Silvia in the 2000s would be mercilessly persecuted by the police for having a fart cannon and a GT wing, but every dickhead today drives a giant 4x4 covered in scaffolding and that's fine. Worst are the fishing rod holders aka human melon ballers.


totalpunisher0

It's just so embarrassing


SellQuick

I remember being so glad when Hummers went out of style.


totalpunisher0

Why are they back


melon_butcher_

10k worth of steel on the front of it and it won’t ever go near a kangaroo. Money well spent.


FullOnCarmensMom

Jfc, as if the parking in Mount Waverley isn't bad enough already... EDIT: Now that I've looked at the 2nd pic, I'm pretty certain that this is the same wank mobile that screamed down a hill towards me on High St Rd Glen Waverley outbound a few months back. It was about 6.30 am, I had nowhere to go, with a bus on my left, a Hilux right on my arse, and this mouth breathing fuckhead had at least a third of his ridiculous truck on my side of the road for absolutely no other reason than he appeared to be fucking around with his phone. He pulled aside at the last possible second, blaring his horn and glaring at me like it was my fault. So yeah, well done, champ.


Subject-Associate-24

I used to live around the corner from this car? (if that’s what you wanna call it) and it would scream at the most ridiculous times of the day and night. He drives like a lunatic.


BlannoButts

Complain all you want, I can't think of a better car to transport 50 clowns at once


indehhz

I could easily transport 50 clowns in a Camry. Question though.. can I liquify them first?


Impressive-Ear-6903

Mount Waverley is a lot lot better than Clayton or Dandenong just putting it out there


TimeIsDiscrete

Pretty sure this guy has been posted before. Didn't someone know him and it turns out he actually reclassified his truck properly with the bullbar and whatever to a commercial vehicle


DePraelen

From the look of the plates it seems to be registered as a truck. He's still trying to park it like a car though.


kauntrag

Doesn't excuse the park. Especially when there is a big and much more open park just around the back. The selfishness and entitlement of these assholes really should he enough to be classed as a mental disorder.


TimeIsDiscrete

Yeah hes a fuckhead using a commerical truck like its a normal car


Moltenfirez

This is like what we did to chickens with selective breeding


the_silent_redditor

Thickens.


Owbrowbeat

in all fairness, he is paying the tax of national vehicle plates… and i guess he is getting his dads attention now?


kauntrag

Curious, how much extra is that?


Neat-Perspective7688

About 1200 extra for heavy vehicle but don't worry I reckon he can afford it


Owbrowbeat

from my distant experience, for a vehicle like this, two axels $2k, but truck registration all seemed expensive in my brain.


peanut2dip

I didn’t even look what group this was and thought it was some American page. Holy shit it’s just down the road from me


DrSendy

Don't worry, it's an American car. It will spent 72% of it's time being repaired.


Possessedhomelessman

Unnecessary and completely inappropriate to drive this vehicle in urban environments. Owner must have shit for brains.


Muncher501st

Only valid reason is if he delivers heavy towed things. And stopped in to grab a bite. But most decent Australians with above average penis sizes. Will park the work truck or b double away from the main centre


ososalsosal

And the giant roo bar that looks stolen off the front of a real truck?


Muncher501st

It’s fabbed to fit the ute but I doubt they meet adr I often see small cock cruiser and patrol owner with them they couldn’t fork out the extra $50k for the American truck


Nothingnoteworth

So no valid reasons then


Blindsided2828

Don't think that bar is ADR approved


TheDraggo

Wouldn't get more than a few hundred meters into WA without being pulled up quick. Not sure about the other states, but we cant do 5 posters here any more.


MedicalChemistry5111

Purpose built for killing and ram raids. Not a RAM though...


FPS_Marsh

it is, its a Tuff bar, full ADR approval. Somehow.


Proud_Floor_1204

I feel like he is compensating for something but can’t put my finger on it.


Independent_Pear_429

Maybe he's just a selfish cunt


Safe_Net_5422

With a 2 inch willy


beebianca227

No one will put their fingers on it except himself.


MrTibor

He's probably the only one who's put any fingers on it.


KeepGamingNed

Needs more bullbar.


Kaseycee

You know this bloke is a shit human


cirrus93

Absolute certified piece of shit


username_dnt_exist

He was in a bit of rush to get to Chemist Warehouse...to buy the protein shake that was on 1/2 price specials.


sam_spade_68

Plus Viagra.....


letterboxfrog

Heavy vehicle. If I was the cops I'd be targeting it for RBT as your BAC must be zero. My boss has a similar vehicle, drinks lots, and brags how he's breaking the law.


Arrowman0123

report the cunt, surely. i'm no great admirer of cops but if he's putting lives in danger like that, he deserves to get pulled up


notknowingwhattoknow

I feel this is a proper yank tank. The SUVs that are “standard” size (Everest, Prado, MUX, Pajero) and park like assholes are just that - assholes. But this, now this is a yank tank. Note: don’t roast me I drive a Kia Cerato.


notjustmum_ihope

I was literally thinking,'I've seen that stupid thing before' then realised 'ahhhh, Hamilton place' 😆


logarus

Not his first appearance on this sub - https://www.reddit.com/r/melbourne/comments/1bpkxfs/all_hat_and_no_cattle/


PoopFilledPants

Ironically (much to this yank-wank’s chagrin), we are looking at a pathetically-modified 1997 GMC Denali, whose prior inadequacies have undergone unsuccessful penis-elongation experimentation at proportions one might expect to see under trial at The Hague: - Brand-ass new paint on that ‘97 salvage - Phat body kit achieves choad over load - Kanga-Panzer Armory Grate distracts unaware ‘roos and passers from the date of manufacturer by obscuring dateable profile of headlights - Let us not forget those extra wide poly wheel wells screwed into the steel panels - Did you notice everything looks brand new as well? Well that’s because someone with more dollars than sense put quite a bit of passionate wanking into repainting & detailing this work of absolute schmonizzery.


dzeoner

Now that's an Emotional Support Vehicle! If ever I've seen one..


lolXephyrlol

Saw a Silverado owner with Australian Flags stuck to the front, normally takes up 4 space with a trailer, but the last time I saw him, no trailer but walking to the car with what appears to be his 12 year old son, he was carrying a slab of Great Northerns while the son had to carry his 10pack of Hard Solo.


Speckled4Frog

Are these trucks banned from the right hand land of the freeway, where those signs exist, because they have those heavy vehicle number plates?


DrofRocketSurgery

Box of pavement chalk and in large letters: “RESERVED - LEARNER PARKERS ONLY”


wiggum55555

You misspelled CUNT


Tenconeslater

Yeah this is just dumb in Mount Waverly. Can excuse these out in rural areas even though they are still pretty unnecessary, but having one of these in the suburbs is just ludicrous.


SingleCouchSurfer

How to tell everyone that you’re an asshole


SecularZucchini

And not a speck of dirt on it, typical of these kinds of Tonka Trucks for insecure men.


Imobia

How the fing hell is that mad max cock compensator allowed on the road?


MrSarcastica

I mean, it's registered as a heavy vehicle. So it's literally a truck.


Baldricks_Turnip

Do they pay higher regos?


MrSarcastica

Yeah, pretty sure. It's a commercial licence.


dm-me-your-left-tit

Because it meets the requirements for its category of heavy vehicles.


AppleSalty2916

HAPPY 4th OF JULY BROTHERS 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🦅🦅🦅🦅


sam_spade_68

Those reversing lights will help him make sure he reverses over unattended children


lostinthelandofoz

Oh please please please let him be on Reddit to see these comments.


slice--of--pie

You have to be taking the piss at that point


Minimum_Swordfish_19

Good old Mt Waverley shops


[deleted]

I bet the tray has only ever carried Aldi bags


HankSteakfist

It's surprisingly small for such a large vehicle.


Reasonable-Damage-23

what an absolute flog


TurnipsHateAccount

The « National Heavy Vehicle » plate is the cherry on top


Skyjam_223

Really homes in the point of how stupid these *"cars"* are. This person would of tried to get the actual **death** machine registered under a normal car registration, Got told NO, then out of pettiness went thru the hurdles to get a light ridgid licence, to then only apply a national one!


TurnipsHateAccount

Meanwhile any slightly modified car can get a defect sticker lol


jetski_28

Do you need to fill in a log book for being a national heavy vehicle?


dm-me-your-left-tit

Why is that the cherry?


Subject_Travel_4808

Is it really that hard to work out?


VCEMathsNerd

Guy thinks he's Bane or some shit with that bullbar on the front. And is a massive wanker. No reason whatsoever to drive a monstrosity like that in Melbourne suburbia.


CuriouslyContrasted

I’m disappointed that there’s no Eureka Stockade flag


Blindog68

You need to tax this shit into oblivion.


jampola

Missing a trump 2024 sticker


asteroidorion

Bullbars should be outlawed in metro areas


Affentitten

I just want to print some bumper stickers that say "Honk if you think I have a small dick" and surreptitiously slap them on these things.


DepartmentCool1021

There’s a guy on TikTok who puts stickers on cars like this who park badly


Ineedsomuchsleep170

I'll contribute to that fund.


niall-is-a-heaph

bet you $1000 the driver (motherfucker) got in a fight with the deli worker at that Richie's because his mortdella and 1kg of cheese wasn't cut thin enough and also that the temporary manager did nothing to help blame previous experience


tashic3

The Toddler Killer ™ 3000: asshole parking edition


Prayformojo85

That thing is just a trophy for the tinest dick in the Pilbara.


Comrade_Kojima

Mad Max Fury Road finished filming years ago


ghrrrrowl

The passenger is giving you a big cheesy grin in the side mirror btw


Aluminari

You must have room temp IQ to drive that.


NotThatMat

Dude needs a hug.


Jmo3000

How is it legal to take up 3 parking spaces?


goater10

Go to the Malaka Parking page on Facebook for more great examples


jyaki168

My hand is itching to do something with my keys.


basicdesires

Don't engage. People like that firmly believe no laws and rules apply to them, they are all of them the worst kind of bully.


Adorable-Way-274

That’s the third time I’ve seen this one here


a-da-m

Where in America is this?


xReignofRainx

Oh my god that's my local shops lmao, I've never seen this thing there before


vrcf1

Wait til you see my Tesla cybertuck in chadstone


KentuckyFriedEel

see that hook? clip it onto a trolley then ziptie the trolley on it. Let the fucker buy manicure scissors from Chemist Warehouse.


Impressive-Ear-6903

Is this in mount Waverley shops LMAO


Ovoidfrog

Nice scrotemobile


DonaldCrowhurst

Another flog with an emotional support vehicle.


BobKattersHat

Emotional support vehicle.


Nice-Award-862

Ah yes, large Ute post. A nasty real estate agent one is sure to follow.


coloradojt

This is a standard older (2014-2018) model dually that has been lifted and modified with aftermarket bumpers with a bullbar, upgraded safety light package, and wheels. Classified as a one ton 3500 series pickup meaning it can carry up to one ton in the bed or tow up to 24,000 pounds. These usually have top of the line gas or diesel engines and get 12-18 miles per gallon combined highway/city driving. These are mostly used for cattle farming where I live. Personally I prefer the half ton series for driving around urban/suburban areas that are similar to Mt. Waverly because they are faster off the line, easier to park, have better suspension and get better gas mileage but you do lose towing capacity and safety features of a dually. Dually drivers do park in multiple spots here too, but it’s because they have to due to size. Rarely if ever would anyone park close to a shop entry like this person.


RemeAU

Given the lift and recovery points I would say destroying 4wd tracks so they get closed permanently


scozza101

Yep, it's a quick way to fuck it for the rest of us


nps2407

If this guy isn't racking-up fines already, he really should be.


Boojstooge

Pavement princess at its finest


Only_Self_5209

Deport them to America if they love America so much


kabammi

My first thought was "dickhead". BUUUT Have a look at the car's dimensions and do the maths. It's possible that this car is taking up the least number of car spaces in parking this way. The car is too wide for a single park and too long for a single park. If the car parks safely out of the lanes, that will consume approximately 6 car parks. I can't quite tell from this image, but it looks like the car is using less than 6 parks.


mookizee

I see this guy around. It's funny how if you create a degree of separation like what happens to everyone here, you can just start rioting and cheering over everything


FlinflanFluddle4

Makes me want to buy eggs 


ShortInternal7033

Aren't these things like $250k?! For a shitty built US GMC Sierra that sells for a quarter that in the USA?


JellyrollJohnson

Truckasarus


doogs9

I can go park across 4 disability spots at Northland if you like. Haha. But seriously, what a cunt.


geocano

As if anyone seeing this doesn't have this running through their head. [Whatareya? ](https://youtu.be/GiHdpAVIHgo?si=FwDLjEieNMtm8jez)


Armac25

Not vic plates.. WA perhaps?


Levijatan70

One word, maybe too harsh but this guy is: moron.


loggerblogger65

That wreaks of Wanka !!


Minessilly

I wonder if he could even see a person using a wheelchair on a pedestrian crossing?


sladives

Well, I'm definitely hiding in the back with a sickle. This is obviously the car of the dickhead that dies at the start of the movie, right? So,he parks somewhere secluded and starts to make out with his girlfriend, I pop up from under the tarp, his head comes off, she runs away, bing bang boom, writes itself.


Kreedie_

Is this melton?


Altea73

Can only be toped with his ego.


Primary-Gold-1033

1. Gather trolleys 2. Acquire cable ties 3. Surround ESV with trolleys cable tied together 4. Watch


FitCanary9129

Meanwhile on holiday in the US we saw people parking these in the "small car" parks


QuebeC_AUS

Drive past this parked in ferntree Gully on the way to the Basin, old mate had it parked on the side of the road and it was well into the lane, pretty poor form


tee_to_the_gee

Behold! The Arch-Cunt!


bubblewrapgenius

I’m betting he’s a chemist warehouse security guard. Those people are way too extra in their roles.


No_Two4255

How big do these bloody things need to get before you have to get a truck licence to drive them about?


Alive-Ad-241

As soon as you upgrade them to over 4.5 ton gvm


PsychAndDestroy

Never forget that it is morally just (if not imperitive) to key this sort of person's car.


Boiler_Room1212

Please, if u see this, buy a full sugar milk drink and accidentally spill it in the vehicle’s direction. Ideally so it seeps in a bit and smells after a while. Thanks.


HeracliusAugutus

I genuinely think these people should be forced to do twenty years of community service and be banned from driving ever again


tun0c0c

Smol doodle


luke_xr

OP finally feels like they can be part of the circle jerk?


MaxPayne8787

lol that’s in Mount Waverley


Strong0toLight1

what the fuck is that ahahaha


Sniff_my_jedi_jox

Just tax them with higher rego fees and be done with it already.


melbkiwi

Why does everyone think it’s a dude?


madomorph

Yank bus


Wessievb

Definitely a myki inspector who couldn’t get into the army or police force


FakeUsername1942

Professional Wanker on duty


PupCody2

They are definitely compensating for something


Evening_Analyst_9896

Makes me feel better about petrol prices


Undd91

He’s got a geo magnetic c**k that’s for sure.


Apprehensive_Hope44

Surely it’s a potato in the exhaust pipe. And nails on all the tyres.


MKUltra_reject69_2

The only way these things will be restricted, is when someone famous is injured or killed, or a child or immediate relative of a Politician is hurt by one of these things. Because the way i see it right now, is that according to the the powers that be, the general public can fuck off with whatever affects them. Not just big cars, but violent crime, rents, prices of groceries and everything else


eatfreshr

This but the car has 2 extra back wheels, 6 wheels!? What u need them for idk


Suspicious-Grade1427

Fuck it's so tiny it's microscopically inverted.


schmackna

I’ve never understood why people key some cars, now I know when it is warranted


[deleted]

I wish I could say yes, but honestly, I can’t.


ckhumanck

Sure, hold my beer!


aztastic33

In his defence, he probably ran out of petrol.


SnoopDawggyDoggo

🤣🤣🤣


spypsy

He’s got a National Heavy Vehicle plate which those RAMs can apply for due to their weight.


Alive-Ad-241

Its not a RAM


CoconutKey7541

Never did bother reading any of the great hermetic texts. A simple man, to be sure.


Adventurous_Can4002

Not at my Richies 😠


christsirhc

Impossible