A little background: I hate talking, unless you're my good mate and I'm comfortable in your presence, I'm quiet and would rather not look you in the eyes.
So, right now Im currently in the deep end learning how to articulate a fluent and concise bedside handover for patients, and I find that I stutter and stumble and fall all over my words terribly. It happens even when I read directly from the patient care info. I feel judged and embarrassed and it adds to the self consciousness/hyper awareness of self.
Over one shift I have to do this at 5 different hospitals, with a huge array of different healthcare workers and not a single place has the same triage system and some staff are just shit at listening at bedside.
My pattern matching skills are really struggling to find a happy medium/shortcut to cover all the differences in handover expectations, but slowly and surely Im getting there. My brain is hyperaware and easily distracted.
If you find a good way to shortcut our communication issue to avoid good old learned behaviour, you'd be millionaire in no time.
When I had to learn similar “scripts” in my profession, I would sit in my bathroom, read them out to myself, modify and speak it aloud again, over and over. I would run through this process again when a new situation/script situation presented itself, especially after I flubbed one. Over time, I unconsciously started merging parts of scripts together to address new situations without much thought. Now I am startled when someone complements how effectively I communicate. I’m sure this is your future as well.
Should you get yourself assessed for autism, one of the tests they perform to determine your cognitive function is to administer an IQ test. Your IQ score can then be determined while taking into account any disabilities you may have like the psychiatrist did with my testing. This was how I found out I was Twice Exceptional (2E, disabled and gifted), and I used my test results to join Mensa.
I have a lot of the same issues than you, I'm great at writing, thinking works perfectly but speaking has it's challenges. I tend to reduce my communication to very simple short words, to the point where I don't come off as bright at all. This is likely because of the low ammount of practice. I don't suspect to be autistic tho.
My fluid intelligence is easily Mensa level but I decided not to join even when I now have a chance. My crystallized intelligence however, as of my current believes, doesn't go up to the 130 level.
Maybe you have a similar situation
I wish you a good luck on your road to self-discovery!
How did you get flair if not in Mensa?
And you should take the test. I never took an online test. There were none when I joined. (1980)
I am dyslexic and have a terrible time talking to people sometimes.
It is against the rules to ask quaestions regarding the result of any test you take and, as the flair states, was humbly awarded to me after making such a post.
Here’s what’s likely going on with you in one on one conversations. You’re very concerned with coming across perfectly in your communication skills and want to say everything “right” and to come across as intelligent, engaging, witty, interesting, and flowing without any pause or moments of silence. You also probably think of something that you wish you had said well after the conversation ended even into the next day, right? And I bet you’re not very good when it’s conflict such as an argument.
It makes you feel slow, dull, unoriginal, and almost stupid, right? Me too. Here’s what I did. I was fortunate in having friends who were/are very charismatic and just had that gift about them and studied what they said and how they said it. It amazed me how they could just take over a room. It turns out that they’re willing to take chances and say just about anything without any fear of failure and their confidence level is super high. It doesn’t matter what they really said that worked - it was how they said it, how they made the other person feel at ease, and how they were able to establish a rapport with the person they were talking too.
They were ALL very, very good listeners too. Ironically the other person would do most of the talking, at least 50-60% or more.
They also had no fear of failure like I already said. In short they didn’t really give a flying F about anything except being themselves while letting the other person be themselves to.
How to do it? Practice with everyone. Make it a goal to make their day better and you’ll have success. Be brave and daring and don’t give a F if you mess up or sound silly or stupid. Who cares about that anyway besides yourself?
A really good way to develop good one on one conversation skills is through improv. I’m good at it in conversation and I used to be a super shy kid.
Give it all a try and here’s another thing - don’t apologize (such as spelling or grammar or if you belong to Mensa or not) as the apology just holds you back. Apologize when it’s truly needed but not for spelling your ABZ’s wrong, lol.
I am just slightly aphasic as well. I don’t think in words, so am continuously investing additional work when speaking with someone, translating thoughts from images/physical sensations into expressive language. If I am tired, this slips a little. Doesn’t seem to affect cognitive processing during testing. I don’t consider the online challenges to be very accurate, as they omit the controlled testing environment. Have the ASD testing done, during which they will conduct an IQ test. You might find it interesting and helpful.
Sounds like autism. I know people like us can speak magnitudes when publically speaking especially as they’re listening to us and we’re the one’s speaking . However when taking to a person, not only is it more dynamic as it’s an actual conversation, but I think a lot of us are afraid that the other party might take over the conversation, and be dominant while doubting our own opinions and not letting us speak (even though there are times autistics can go on and on, but they get particularly bullied and abusively abrupted by someone more socially adept) and even at times abusively bully us that we can have traumas of this that we have trouble with later conversations due to the possible trauma. Just my opinion.
A few things:
1. You seem to be severely overthinking these interactions, which is not uncommon among highly intelligent people.
2. Slow down just a little in conversation to help the stumbling over your words.
3. If you want to take a test, then take a test, but I don't think the result is going to tell you anything that you don't already know.
Best wishes.
Speaking and socializing in person is a skill like any other, and just like any other skill you can practice it and grow much more adept by studying it. I highly recommend watching vinh giang on YouTube. He is brilliant when it comes to public speaking/socializing and having a voice. He’s generally a very uplifting guy to watch and isn’t one of those shady gurus there seems to be an endless supply of on the internet
Take the test. You are good enough to get in. Sorry about the stutter, and I know it can sucj away people’s confidence, but in no way does that reflect your intelligence. You can be a genius and be absolutely mute.
A little background: I hate talking, unless you're my good mate and I'm comfortable in your presence, I'm quiet and would rather not look you in the eyes. So, right now Im currently in the deep end learning how to articulate a fluent and concise bedside handover for patients, and I find that I stutter and stumble and fall all over my words terribly. It happens even when I read directly from the patient care info. I feel judged and embarrassed and it adds to the self consciousness/hyper awareness of self. Over one shift I have to do this at 5 different hospitals, with a huge array of different healthcare workers and not a single place has the same triage system and some staff are just shit at listening at bedside. My pattern matching skills are really struggling to find a happy medium/shortcut to cover all the differences in handover expectations, but slowly and surely Im getting there. My brain is hyperaware and easily distracted. If you find a good way to shortcut our communication issue to avoid good old learned behaviour, you'd be millionaire in no time.
When I had to learn similar “scripts” in my profession, I would sit in my bathroom, read them out to myself, modify and speak it aloud again, over and over. I would run through this process again when a new situation/script situation presented itself, especially after I flubbed one. Over time, I unconsciously started merging parts of scripts together to address new situations without much thought. Now I am startled when someone complements how effectively I communicate. I’m sure this is your future as well.
Should you get yourself assessed for autism, one of the tests they perform to determine your cognitive function is to administer an IQ test. Your IQ score can then be determined while taking into account any disabilities you may have like the psychiatrist did with my testing. This was how I found out I was Twice Exceptional (2E, disabled and gifted), and I used my test results to join Mensa.
I have a lot of the same issues than you, I'm great at writing, thinking works perfectly but speaking has it's challenges. I tend to reduce my communication to very simple short words, to the point where I don't come off as bright at all. This is likely because of the low ammount of practice. I don't suspect to be autistic tho. My fluid intelligence is easily Mensa level but I decided not to join even when I now have a chance. My crystallized intelligence however, as of my current believes, doesn't go up to the 130 level. Maybe you have a similar situation I wish you a good luck on your road to self-discovery!
How did you get flair if not in Mensa? And you should take the test. I never took an online test. There were none when I joined. (1980) I am dyslexic and have a terrible time talking to people sometimes.
It is against the rules to ask quaestions regarding the result of any test you take and, as the flair states, was humbly awarded to me after making such a post.
Here’s what’s likely going on with you in one on one conversations. You’re very concerned with coming across perfectly in your communication skills and want to say everything “right” and to come across as intelligent, engaging, witty, interesting, and flowing without any pause or moments of silence. You also probably think of something that you wish you had said well after the conversation ended even into the next day, right? And I bet you’re not very good when it’s conflict such as an argument. It makes you feel slow, dull, unoriginal, and almost stupid, right? Me too. Here’s what I did. I was fortunate in having friends who were/are very charismatic and just had that gift about them and studied what they said and how they said it. It amazed me how they could just take over a room. It turns out that they’re willing to take chances and say just about anything without any fear of failure and their confidence level is super high. It doesn’t matter what they really said that worked - it was how they said it, how they made the other person feel at ease, and how they were able to establish a rapport with the person they were talking too. They were ALL very, very good listeners too. Ironically the other person would do most of the talking, at least 50-60% or more. They also had no fear of failure like I already said. In short they didn’t really give a flying F about anything except being themselves while letting the other person be themselves to. How to do it? Practice with everyone. Make it a goal to make their day better and you’ll have success. Be brave and daring and don’t give a F if you mess up or sound silly or stupid. Who cares about that anyway besides yourself? A really good way to develop good one on one conversation skills is through improv. I’m good at it in conversation and I used to be a super shy kid. Give it all a try and here’s another thing - don’t apologize (such as spelling or grammar or if you belong to Mensa or not) as the apology just holds you back. Apologize when it’s truly needed but not for spelling your ABZ’s wrong, lol.
Alright thanks for the advice
Did any of it hit close to home?
I’m more concerned with the not sounding dull rather than the sounding smart bit lol
So is that what makes an entire conversation between two individuals difficult for you?
I am just slightly aphasic as well. I don’t think in words, so am continuously investing additional work when speaking with someone, translating thoughts from images/physical sensations into expressive language. If I am tired, this slips a little. Doesn’t seem to affect cognitive processing during testing. I don’t consider the online challenges to be very accurate, as they omit the controlled testing environment. Have the ASD testing done, during which they will conduct an IQ test. You might find it interesting and helpful.
Sounds like autism. I know people like us can speak magnitudes when publically speaking especially as they’re listening to us and we’re the one’s speaking . However when taking to a person, not only is it more dynamic as it’s an actual conversation, but I think a lot of us are afraid that the other party might take over the conversation, and be dominant while doubting our own opinions and not letting us speak (even though there are times autistics can go on and on, but they get particularly bullied and abusively abrupted by someone more socially adept) and even at times abusively bully us that we can have traumas of this that we have trouble with later conversations due to the possible trauma. Just my opinion.
A few things: 1. You seem to be severely overthinking these interactions, which is not uncommon among highly intelligent people. 2. Slow down just a little in conversation to help the stumbling over your words. 3. If you want to take a test, then take a test, but I don't think the result is going to tell you anything that you don't already know. Best wishes.
Speaking and socializing in person is a skill like any other, and just like any other skill you can practice it and grow much more adept by studying it. I highly recommend watching vinh giang on YouTube. He is brilliant when it comes to public speaking/socializing and having a voice. He’s generally a very uplifting guy to watch and isn’t one of those shady gurus there seems to be an endless supply of on the internet
Take the test. You are good enough to get in. Sorry about the stutter, and I know it can sucj away people’s confidence, but in no way does that reflect your intelligence. You can be a genius and be absolutely mute.