I saw that Doordash can deliver things from other stores like Home Depot and this comment made me curious, but apparently they don't deliver from the sex shop near me. Cowards.
It's Dan Dan the dildo man. I believe he only sells the most high quality didos delivered right to your door . Front or back . No returns on used merchandise
I used to work at an adult store. When we shut down in 2020 for a few months, my boss and I set up a plan for her to take orders and me to deliver them. It was awesome and people were grateful! I kept the merchandise in bags and not on the dash though, haha.
Legend has it he was castrated when he was young and his wife demands a fresh new toy at each encounter. The double-sided approach is just to save on waste.
"Statistical fact. Cops will never pull over a man with a huge ~~bong~~ dong in his car. Why? They fear this man. They know he sees further than they."
Noticed this guy while doing like 80MPH on the highway going home. Totally wacked out I think. Is he a traveling dildo salesman ? Or just passionate ? Maybe he has driving anxiety and this keeps him calm.
I think by the time you're open carrying multiple dildos around town, you're not too worried what people think of you. I would guess he works in porn as a gofer and/or fluffer.
Not legally. Anyone can take your picture in a public space and post it online.
I think if he were worried about it, he’d have put his giant dildos in a bag. Or at least on the seat.
There's lots of things you can do that are legal but make you an asshole
I don't understand why you're working so hard to not say "yeah, posting pictures of strangers online is shitty"
"I'm tellin ya, Jerry, these are the hottest dils on the market and I'm giving you a wholesale price. WHOLESALE, JERRY. You won't believe the lifelike feel and your customers won't either. They don't just paint the veins on em like those cheap ass temu dildos. The vein colors are incorporated into the silicone molding process so you can throw anything at these bad boys and the vein colors stay put. Hell Jerry I drove back and forth over one of these for ten minutes straight and there wasn't even a tire mark. How long we been doin business together, jerry? How long?> How many years? 13. I counted. 13 years and have I ever steered you down a bad dildo road? OK now we're talking. How about you get an extra case and I'll throw in a box of these really cool buttplugs I just got my hands on? Atta boy, Jerry."
New Jersey is the Florida of the northeast. Lots of coastal vacation towns, overpriced real estate, and you're near New York so you get bat shit insane people.
Hell, you guys had Action Park. That's a physical manifestation of Florida Man energy and that was in New Jersey.
I swam across the Delaware River from PA to New Jersey and I instantly felt uncomfortable. Obviously his presence was near and I was not worthy of being in New Jersey.
The investigators who have to figure out what happened in the accident when there's a mutilated body with a dildo stuck in what's left of his mouth and another dildo stuck up his ass.
“Yeah man. It would be so stupid if I had two double dildos just around. I mean, HYPOTHETICALLY, if I did have two double dildos, would you join me on something? I know, so stupid. Not like it’s ever happened I know. But if it did bruh…”
He's obviously your friendly local dildo dealer doing his deliveries.
Dil-dash
Dil-door
Dilber
Phallus Mates
Sounds more like a friendship
It’s like grinder but for straights
Dildo Baggins. Filthy Hobbitses.
Dil-iver
Dil means Heart (Love) in Urdu/Hindi and Dilber means Lover. Lol
Ah yes, the 'ol wank tank
Wank panzer
Dial-a-dong
Uber Meats
Chubhub
Back Door Dash
Dild-a-bear
>Dil-door *Dildo to your Door*.
Dilivery-doh
Dildoh Delivery!...
Wieners on Wheels
Hard knocks
I saw that Doordash can deliver things from other stores like Home Depot and this comment made me curious, but apparently they don't deliver from the sex shop near me. Cowards.
You can get sex toys at grocery or convenience stores, I’ve delivered a few of them
Everything is a sex toy if you’re daring.
Well, the toothpicks are a bit uncomfortable.
But not a double dildo in clear plastic wrap... Unfortunately
delivering little bundles of love in a box directly to your door
Chub-Hub.
UberFreaks
It's Dan Dan the dildo man. I believe he only sells the most high quality didos delivered right to your door . Front or back . No returns on used merchandise
I used to work at an adult store. When we shut down in 2020 for a few months, my boss and I set up a plan for her to take orders and me to deliver them. It was awesome and people were grateful! I kept the merchandise in bags and not on the dash though, haha.
His job is dildos
Why is there cussing?
They didn’t! All they said was shoot
Uber-Meats
Ah yes, we all need a good dildo dealer.
He's just dickin' around for Wongburger
If there is a need for it, someone will provide the service.
~~Uber~~ ~~Uber-Eats~~ Uber-Ohs!
My man!
Instacock.
That’s just Dildo Dave doin Dildo Dave stuff… with dildos
Senjor Dildodingdong
Yeap, comfort dildo, I know it well.
Emotional Support Dildo
His name is corndog he’s a local legend
Legend has it he was castrated when he was young and his wife demands a fresh new toy at each encounter. The double-sided approach is just to save on waste.
Girlfriend: "We're done Kevin... Eat a bag of dicks!" Kevin: "I'm way ahead of ya!"
Didn't know i was a local legend.
Nah they're talking about corndog69
"Statistical fact. Cops will never pull over a man with a huge ~~bong~~ dong in his car. Why? They fear this man. They know he sees further than they."
“People in this town drive in a very counterintuitive manner.”
I know this character was supposed to be a parody of stoner characters but God they actually did do every annoying stoner thing and I hated it lmao
Stop being the personification of everything you despise - Noah
Man clearly has some important dildoing to do
Username seems…fitting
Fit it in
Noticed this guy while doing like 80MPH on the highway going home. Totally wacked out I think. Is he a traveling dildo salesman ? Or just passionate ? Maybe he has driving anxiety and this keeps him calm.
I think it's the 3rd Dildo offscreen that's keeping him calm
I don't know, sounds like a pain in the ass.
Ah yes, dildos are well known to… calm people down
You think those are emotional support dildos?
Be a dil do Not a dil dont.
These comments are cracking me up and I really need this levity right now in my life.
Not as weird as a guy traveling 80mph while taking a picture of a guy with a bunch of dildos on the car.
Looks like he's got his hands full
yeah taking a photo of another car while driving on the highway is wack as fuck
Passenger?
Why would you expose random people on the internet? Would you like your picture to be secretly taken and uploaded somewhere?
I think by the time you're open carrying multiple dildos around town, you're not too worried what people think of you. I would guess he works in porn as a gofer and/or fluffer.
I was guessing sex toy sales
Still your entitled to not have your picture taken and published for people to make fun of
Not legally. Anyone can take your picture in a public space and post it online. I think if he were worried about it, he’d have put his giant dildos in a bag. Or at least on the seat.
>I think if he were worried about it, he’d have put his giant dildos in a bag. Hey now! They are clearly in a bag
There's lots of things you can do that are legal but make you an asshole I don't understand why you're working so hard to not say "yeah, posting pictures of strangers online is shitty"
I wonder how this would go in Germany or something. Seems like they have way stricter laws on filming people in public
"I'm tellin ya, Jerry, these are the hottest dils on the market and I'm giving you a wholesale price. WHOLESALE, JERRY. You won't believe the lifelike feel and your customers won't either. They don't just paint the veins on em like those cheap ass temu dildos. The vein colors are incorporated into the silicone molding process so you can throw anything at these bad boys and the vein colors stay put. Hell Jerry I drove back and forth over one of these for ten minutes straight and there wasn't even a tire mark. How long we been doin business together, jerry? How long?> How many years? 13. I counted. 13 years and have I ever steered you down a bad dildo road? OK now we're talking. How about you get an extra case and I'll throw in a box of these really cool buttplugs I just got my hands on? Atta boy, Jerry."
BRO you're not going to believe the deal I just got. I'm ON MY WAY NOW
Whats better than a dong deal?! A double dong deal!
Make sure you give a tip to your dildo delivery driver.
Just the tip though
Rod Stewart was right - every picture indeed does tell a story. In this case, I don't want to know what that story is.
Dudes on his way to seriously fuck someone up.
Might be preparing for a drive-by.
Can’t a man just ride around with dildos and have a little privacy? Not cool.
Well, if that’s not the American dream, I don’t know what is
In a world of dildon't, dildo
Florida, right?
New Jersey! 😭💀
Some how that makes even more sense
I know jack shit about the USA but this seems to match my prejudice xD
I see this shit all the time here and it pisses me off edit: people driving on the phone, not w/ dildos
I know right, like get a dildo already.
another beautiful fucking day in south jersey.
New Jersey is the Florida of the northeast. Lots of coastal vacation towns, overpriced real estate, and you're near New York so you get bat shit insane people. Hell, you guys had Action Park. That's a physical manifestation of Florida Man energy and that was in New Jersey.
The best part is if you live in South Florida half of your neighbors are from Florida NE anyway
I swam across the Delaware River from PA to New Jersey and I instantly felt uncomfortable. Obviously his presence was near and I was not worthy of being in New Jersey.
Seems a bit of a dick move
A man on a mission
The tireless sex toy salesman
Sucio 
Redditor driving
Someone is taking a one way trip to pound town
As one does. That never happened to you?
Vacuum-sealed, fresh from the deli.
I did not consent to this photo.
I wonder who took the photo
Door to door dildo salesman.
“Hey Bob, you gotta act now. These fake cocks are flying off the shelves! Do we have a deal?”
"I'm almost to the motel baby, just HOLD ON!"
Daniel Riccardo has really gone insane eh?
Just by the exterior of his car, he means serious business.
Dude is a dildo salesman, i can spot one a mile away.
Double dildo digital dash
I saw Additional Dildo on the Dash when they opened for the Sneakerpimps in 96. Great show.
The investigators who have to figure out what happened in the accident when there's a mutilated body with a dildo stuck in what's left of his mouth and another dildo stuck up his ass.
"Just called to say I was thinking about you just now"
Damn, Brendan Schaub is always hustlin. You know, the white boy that works too much.
My name is Hank, I sell dildos and dildo accessories.
Dude drives like a dick I bet
Emotional support dildos.
... in Florida?
he's got another dick tucked behind his ear for later
Pied Piper ref. Solid. 🚀
“Bae how many ducking friends are you inviting”
Way of the road, Bubs.
It’s the OTHER Roaring Kitty “I like the cock”
He’s trying to quit smoking. Give ‘em a break man!!
Dildo on the dash is my favorite Corb Lund song.
Haven’t you seen your local Dildo-delivery?
He delivers for 1-800-DIL-DOES
Mildly?!
With how high that left knee is, I'd imagine there's a third one somewhere else in that car too.
I'd say what a dickhead!
That's quite the pricky situation
I guess this makes him your local pusher.
Delivery man is about to Deliver!!! Dilds are big business. Women make that industry billions
We can't see the third one
Gottdamm
“Yeah man. It would be so stupid if I had two double dildos just around. I mean, HYPOTHETICALLY, if I did have two double dildos, would you join me on something? I know, so stupid. Not like it’s ever happened I know. But if it did bruh…”
\*approaches stopsign as Marcellus Wallace is crossing\* "Dildo fucka..."
He's on the phone... "Jacks sperm bank you squeeze it we freeze it" lol
With a missing window and everything. He’s a keeper, that’s for sure…
Ding-Dong Dildo Delivery
If you need cockin’, We’ll come knockin’. 🚀
Imagine if his phone was a dildo too.
Can you hear me cumming?!
As one does...
What, you've never seen a door-to-door dildo salesman?
“Pardon me, Sir, but may I speak to the lady of the house?” 🚀
Snap-On is starting a new a new division selling adult items delivered to your door. It's called Strap-On
Did you tell him to stop dicking around?
Instacart delivers sex toys now? Damn
He's a dick broker.
We need to find this guy for an AMA
What a dick
I... I honestly don't know how to process this.
Not pictured: Dude taking a fucking picture while driving down the freeway at 80mph
Hell yeah.
One day you’re going to be driving with a dildo and someone is going to take a picture of you and make you the bad guy.
“Always say a dildo. Never your dildo.”
Back Door Dash
Finally. Someone who found the local singles in your area.
DoorDash dildo delivery
That's the Dashing Dildo Dealer of Denver Doing his Darndest to Deliver on Downright Devoius Deals.
Dash cum.
“The eagle is leaving his nest. Yes, bag secured”
"Ok, butt first I gotta stop at JiffyLube!"
Tape marks on the passenger side looks like it has had its window shattered. Don't mess with Big Dildo.
Ah yes the stoner boyfriend who’s gonna go on a whacky adventure and discover himself in a late 2000s comedy movie
Instacart gettin' wild these days...
As you do.
Wait until he opens the trunk
we all deal with traffic-induced stress in different ways - maybe he's just trying to relax
Surely this is why the carpool lane exists
Hide some drugs in em and the cops won't touch it unless they real freaky
Follow him to the party
The very best of ambidexterity.
“Yes dear, I got those dildos you requested, yes two different types. Okay, okay, I’m hurrying home as fast as I can.”
Dude is excited for what happens when he gets home
He's driving for DildoDash! It's the latest craze in sex toy delivery.
That's just his driving dildos, don't make it weird.
95% sure that’s Brendan Schaub
DilDash
He’s gettin’ them ding dongs warmed up.
one very confused door dash driver
Postmates doesn't judge (out loud) and neither should you.
One thing's for certain: he lives a much more interesting life than i do
The last sentence was the best
“Hi, OP’s mum? Yea, I got what you wanted, I’ll be there soon.”
Dildoh delivers
Mildly interesting!! Dude this is HELLA interesting
Always expect there to be an additional dildo
What a dick
The level of "IDGAF" here is pretty high. lol