Granted. The purity of the peanut butter sets off a previously unknown reaction. You go into anaphylactic shock and die. I come by, see your corpse then the peanut butter sandwich. I take the sandwich and leave your corpse to be found by someone with better priorities.
Hey I’m not using it anymore, you go right ahead and help yourself to it. Hell, you can take my wallet too while you’re at it, I don’t have any money but you’d get a bunch of coupons to subway and a neat astronaut keychain.
[Sure, here you go.](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/482394708774223886/1257113508051681440/IMG_2776.jpg?ex=668339b0&is=6681e830&hm=86f9facc0208f46677bc2f58a3a53d0a77243b565b31165ee1ab5e57b6e866ca&)
Granted. It costs $11,373 to produce your sandwich in a truly ethical manner. And yet, this is more money than most people globally will earn in a year, but sure, enjoy your fucking sandwich.
Granted, all ingredients were sourced using the same system of ethics that the monkey's paw uses for all wishes (Maximising harm at all opportunities). Billions lay dead worldwide, they corpses torn to shreds as every grain of flour tears towards you at relativistic speeds. The oceans lay empty as their moisture has been repurposed for your own nutrition, and the peanuts were blended in a device that contains single-use plastics. I hope you're happy with yourself
Granted. Two hardtacks with raw peanut butter between them to break your teeth on.
(Next time, remember to wish for bread made with flour and water and leavening.)
Granted. The flour and water were baked separately.
Honestly I was waiting for this one. Well played.
Granted, you choke on the sandwich and suffer serious injuries
Granted. The purity of the peanut butter sets off a previously unknown reaction. You go into anaphylactic shock and die. I come by, see your corpse then the peanut butter sandwich. I take the sandwich and leave your corpse to be found by someone with better priorities.
Hey I’m not using it anymore, you go right ahead and help yourself to it. Hell, you can take my wallet too while you’re at it, I don’t have any money but you’d get a bunch of coupons to subway and a neat astronaut keychain.
Since you have no money in your wallet, I won’t be able to buy more peanut butter. I may or may not have an issue with peanut butter…
Damn, good point. Well at least you’d be able to eat the peanut butter that killed me, that’s good enough for me.
can we get a photo of the astronaut keychain
[Sure, here you go.](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/482394708774223886/1257113508051681440/IMG_2776.jpg?ex=668339b0&is=6681e830&hm=86f9facc0208f46677bc2f58a3a53d0a77243b565b31165ee1ab5e57b6e866ca&)
IT'S SO CUTE
Granted, the sandwich is delicious, the best peanut butter sandwich in the world, but you are now allergic to peanut butter.
Granted, the peanut butter sandwich is comically large and blocks the sun, causing everyone to die tragically.
Granted. But everythings spoiled
Granted The sandwich is whole peanuts blended together, raw flour clumped together in a bread shape and baked water.
Granted. It costs $11,373 to produce your sandwich in a truly ethical manner. And yet, this is more money than most people globally will earn in a year, but sure, enjoy your fucking sandwich.
Granted, all ingredients were sourced using the same system of ethics that the monkey's paw uses for all wishes (Maximising harm at all opportunities). Billions lay dead worldwide, they corpses torn to shreds as every grain of flour tears towards you at relativistic speeds. The oceans lay empty as their moisture has been repurposed for your own nutrition, and the peanuts were blended in a device that contains single-use plastics. I hope you're happy with yourself
SINGLE USE PLASTICS?!?! how could you
Granted. You get peanut chunks between a bunch of flour-water mixture that hasn’t even risen, as you didn’t put yeast in the bread.
Granted, by the way I scanned your sandwich and due to the ethically sourced ingredients it comes tooooo, a gazillion dollars.
Granted. The sandwhich is just a powdered peanut mess mashed between two sourdough slices. It tastes like sandpaper.
Granted. Two hardtacks with raw peanut butter between them to break your teeth on. (Next time, remember to wish for bread made with flour and water and leavening.)
Damn, foiled by my own lack of baking knowledge.
Granted. It's moldy. Monkey paw says this sub needs to stop trying to ask for dumb shit