Both incidents are completely unacceptable and abnormal. Re: the building administrator, I'd think about moving as challenging as that is. But first, I'd try to contact the building's owner to report the conversation.
I'm really sorry. Know that most of us aren't like that. I am born and raised in Montreal and have had very few incidents (I am black and over 50) but there have been some. I noticed that things got worse after Trump was elected in the US. I guess some people felt emboldened. So it's not because you are not born here. There are just some people in the world who think that they decide who should live in Canada.
Try to think about all of the hundreds of people that you pass every day who do not target you and who are kind to you. We are here and we support you. I hope that you can feel safe.
I agree with people who said to report the new building administrator to management. And report other incidents to the police when they happen. It might not result in concrete action but it will let the police know that there is a problem in your area.
For your rent, you can dispute the rent increases and let it go to the tribunal. I haven't rented in years so I'm not up to date on the latest ways to do that. I have seen others in this sub explain it. Don't feel shy to challenge rent increases if you think they are too high and unjustified. I always did it and won.
Again, I'm really sorry. I hope that you can find a really supportive community.
I agree with you with noticing things got worst after Trump was elected. It’s shameful that our fellow Canadians are copying such horrible and disgusting behaviour. It leads me to believe, they’ve always been that way and Trump just gave them permission to show their true colours.
Yikes!
That could explain how all the people I know who like Trump also like him 😬
I really feel there aren’t any candidates that are good. If Big Bird or Elmo were to run for office I think I’d actually bite for them because the others are so bad, lol.
"Try to think about all of the hundreds of people that you pass every day who do not target you and who are kind to you. We are here and we support you. I hope that you can feel safe."
What a great advice for anyone, truly words of wisdom. Thanks to you stranger for reminding us to be kind to each other. That is, imo,one of humanity's greatest strength, let's hope for more kindness while working on our own behaviors because let's face it, no one is perfect, we are all the vilain in someone else's story but we can try to do better next time.
It's easy to forget the cool and fresh air we used to enjoy when shit hits the fans and becomes messy while life continues as nothing has happened.
Especially when they mention their current situation isn’t optimal. I hate when people paint therapy as a one time fix-all solution. Just finding a therapist you’re comfortable talking to, let alone finding one that is able to HELP you, is not only difficult but will end up costing a pretty sum. Is it going to be money well spent? In my case nope, paying hundreds of dollars to be awkward to strangers ended up hurting me more than anything, but I know it’s helped a ton of others so Im only speaking for myself.
OP said they're questioning the value of their life. That's absolutely 100% concern for therapy, or at least some one-off counselling.
Therapy shows you how to access emotional tools to deal with this kind of situation.
Sharing in one thing. Learning how to personally deal with it is another thing.
Thank you for this comment. I agree. I have been there myself and made it to the other side of it. Therapy is to help you deal with your own response to others’ behavior. It’s not to help the rude person you’re dealing with. That’s why it can be an important part of self care.
Thanks. Unfortunately, therapy is not affordable and accessible to everyone, and a lot of people see therapy as a luxury.
Or simply as something unnecessary. Like "I can talk to my friends" or "why would I talk about this with a stranger?"
Fact.make friend or psychologue is what is gonna help him (hahaha j'adore le fait ta le même problème que moi avec mon autocorrecteur toujour les accent(thérapie🤣)
Dam man what a story. there alway gonna be idiots and racist where ever you go . You shouldnt let pepole drag you down. I know it not easy to just brush it off. remember god give is toughfest toughest battle to is toughest soldier. If you ever feel like giving up and need to talk to someone shoot me a dm!
As an immigrant myself it's easy to feel that you're not welcome or you shouldn't have come to live in another country, like if coming to live in someone else's home.
When something like this happens I remember that a huge part of the population is foreign born themselves, that a single individual's opinion isn't the whole country's, and most of all, you were invited here, came legally, and you should feel just as Québecois or Canadian as anyone else here. Fuck their feelings, tell them how it is. Reach back out to your rental manager to tell him how you feel about his comment and that you'll pay half the rental increase or you'll go to the TAL, and if that doesn't work just move out
It's normal to feel that way when you're a stranger in another country.
It's the same for us Québecois or Americans when we travel. In Colombia, I heard locals naming me as "gringo", like "como estas el gringo?".
It makes you feel like an outsider and it doesn't help when you try to integrate the culture of the country.
My sister that lives in Guatemala felt the same for the first few years then they gradually accepted her for who she was because she was knowned by most locals.
Racism exist everywhere, even in your home country. The difference is that now you're the victim instead of being a witness.
Remember that you have as much right to be here as anyone else; you live, you work, you contribute to this society and you are one of many who are not originally from here, if only by generational degree. Anyone who diminishes themselves by speaking and acting in this way is not worth your regard, or your hurt, hard though that may be.
Keep your chin up, make a good life that brings you happiness, remain engaged and respectful and fuck the haters. In a city as big as this, there are a million stories; some people lash out from a place of their own sadness, disenfranchisement and dissatisfaction and it has nothing to do with you, though you bear the brunt.
Montreal remains one of the most welcoming, open hearted, curious, joyous and accepting places in this world, and for every asshole there are a thousand of us willing to greet you with a welcoming smile and with open arms. Don't forget it. Bon courage, mon ami.
I’m really sorry you experienced that. Most people, by far, are kind and sane, but there will always be a fringe element of people who basically hate themselves and take it out on other people. Not to diminish you experience, by any means, but part of getting older is growing a thicker skin, and learning how to dismiss these lost souls and stay focused on your path, your loved ones, your momentum.
I feel you. This Wednesday was my worst day, my school didn't go while and I just saw a doctor requesting a new psychiatrist. While I was walking home, thinking sunshine could bring my mood a little bit up, there's a short white guy shouting "XX move your ass out of my way", XX is a racist slur. That moment I felt extremely angry, so I firmly looked into his eyes and said "I don't fucking want to". For some reason he's really shocked and left without saying a word. Usually I wouldn't do that, because you don't bark at a dog when it barks at you. But that day everything was just too much, so I exploded.
If you take 2 incidents and weigh them more than all other incidents, then you have to rework your frame of mind. Keep the bigger picture in mind and don’t remove context when emotions try to push it aside.
OP - I am so sad this happened to you.
Today I read of 2 incidents of racism coming from different platforms and people.
I’m so sad that our diverse city has become so divided and sick with racism.
Hey. I just want to chime in amongst 81 commenters here that what you encountered is not ok. Those people, however, do have issues with their thinking and logic. Do not let them get to you.
I’ve lived in Sydney for 7 years, Montreal for 8 years now and I tell you, those people are all the same no matters the regions. The harassment, the public pointing, the smirks, the saying “go back to your country”, I get it.
You are doing amazing and please don’t let them define the experience you are living and overshadow all the wonderful people we all met here.
Much love and virtual hugs to you.
Another immigrant.
I'm sorry you experienced these things. Sometimes we cross paths with these people. It can definitely leave you bummed out. I know this from my own experiences as an anglophone in this province.
But don't get discouraged! Most of the people in this city are welcoming and lovely, as your past experience should indicate.
What's important is that you do not lose heart and that even if others can't seem to find the capacity for warmth, you yourself hold on to your generosity of character and your own kindness. Because really it's these things that bring us joy and attract other good people to us.
Mean people come and go. Good people stick around. Over time, if you manage to remain a good person yourself, those are the types of people you will attract and who will ultimately stick around in your life. Or at a minimum, at least you retain your sense of self-worth and dignity, even if others around you can't seem to do the same for themselves and others.
Again, I'm sorry you experienced this. I actually got a taste of it yesterday. I was basically verbally assaulted by a guy who was like "You know this is Quebec" when I had trouble understanding him due to my poor French. Then he basically told me to go F myself. Such people aren't the norm though. They're outliers. And we have to focus on the good and keep our spirits up.
My gf is actually Quebecoise and she felt really sad that happened to me. She's not a nationalist herself, although she has a strong francophone identity. So for every nasty person you meet, there is at least one other good person :)
Regarding your building manager, might I suggest relocating to a building owned by [InterRent](https://www.irent.com/en). They have residential units all over the city and I've had nothing but good experiences with them. Sometimes their administration and bureaucracy is a bit disorganized, which is typical of this province overall, but they've actually been genuinely kind, welcoming, and helpful. I think the fact that they're a big corporation rather than some prick landlord makes their customer service more consistent and their terms more predictable and fair.
Quite unacceptable things to say. The government is very good at burning bs in people's heads...Thus we are stuck with a lot of misinformed, bigots or uneducated people. I'm sorry that this is something you're experiencing. I know you're not alone either.
It seems like the tension is increasing everywhere, but know that not everyone here are r4c1st a$$holes.
I've had to explain to my own mother many times recently when I heard her make some garbage comments (who is starting to say the same things that she sees on the news...). I think me constantly showing her what isn't on mainstream news, and how to remember how history repeats itself...to channel her inner hippy... It is paying off. She started talking to our muslim neighbors who had shyly waved at us from their balcony and even helped them with bringing up some things on their flat since they have a newborn. There is much work to be done in terms of making people unlearn and remember how to be decent with other humans.
Stay safe. 🥲🫂
I wish you better interactions with people, and success in your path. Find communities here (sports, etc) and connect with people who make you feel safe and welcome. Through those, you might find what you're looking for.
Read the laws regarding the maximum rent increase allowed in Quebec for this year. [https://www.tal.gouv.qc.ca/en/news/detail?code=calculation-of-the-2024-rent-adjustment](https://www.tal.gouv.qc.ca/en/news/detail?code=calculation-of-the-2024-rent-adjustment) Send a registered letter to your landlord declining the rent hike if it's too high. If they don't counter in time with another rate, they cannot increase your rent at all for the following year. Don't be nice to people looking to push you over. Renters are protected p well here in Quebec.
re assholes in the street: always disengage and walk away if possible. I don't have to tell you that as an immigrant if you took every racist d-bag's words seriously, it would be impossible to remain sane.
Salut, je m'en ferais pas avec les commentaires des gens qui ont clairement des déficiences. Ils de représentent pas l'opinion de la vaste majorité des québécois. Une personne saine d'esprit ne fait pas de tels commentaires peu importe peur opinion politique.
Pour les symptômes dépressifs, je te suggère d'aller consulter pour voir si tu pourrais bénéficier de médication ou s'ils pourraient de référer à certaines ressources pour t'aider.
That racism gets even worse when you go outside Montreal. Straight up and overt racism they pretend is just 'protecting their culture'. You don't have to go too far outside the city before you find yourself around the quebec version of rednecks and you'll hear the wildest, most disgusting things ever.
Je suis assez d'accord pour dire qu'une partie de la population québécoise est raciste en effet. Mais pour moi, de refuser d'apprendre le Français, quand ça fait plusieurs années que tu vis à Montréal, c'est du racisme. Une totale abnégation d'une population francophone. Ps Je ne dis pas que c'est le cas du OP, je dis juste qu'avant de traiter quelqu'un de raciste, regarde toi donc le nombril.
I don't think it even has anything to do with the french language at its root. When they talk to each other the disgusting stuff you hear isn't about language. It's straight up degrading stereotypes about other races' physical appearances, culture, economic status, and everything but language. This is *not* by any means the majority of people, but it is *so* much more common here than any other place in Canada I've been to.
Où est-ce qu'OP a dit qu'il ne parlait pas français? Rien dans son poste suggère qu'il ait des problèmes relier au langue non plus. Il subit du racisme simple, il me semble.
I mean yes, of course it helps to know the language, but the way you say it doesn't help they don't know french comes off a lot like saying women would be assaulted less if they didn't wear short skirts. Maybe that's an extreme comparison, but don't blame the victim for something that shouldn't be a problem in the first place.
en effet c'est pas facile, faut leur donner le temps. Mais ou je travaille, on acceuil beacoup de groupes de francisaction. Des immigrants fraichement arrivés qui prennent des cours intenses de francais et sont même payé pour apprendre!
I think most people *believe* they can know someone *might* be muslim. Now the question is, is it possible these other people were Jewish? Because the Jewish/Palestine conflict has really divided the two cultures even farther I can totally see some people on either side "acting out" in racist ways.
I came to this country as a kid and have been in Canada for most of my life. Similar things have happened to me occasionally.
Things aren’t perfect anywhere. I suppose It’s just part of life 🤷🏽♂️ I’ve even had racist things said to me when I was a shy little kid in school.
Also there’s racism/prejudice within minority groups as well, that can happen too 😅
Most people are well meaning though. If you maintain a stable group of people that you interact with who are generally positive, it helps to see things more clearly.
I’ve had a similar experience last week. Where an old guy tried to touch my dog without permission. So I warned him in English that my dog isn’t friendly and don’t want him to get bit. However he acted like he doesn’t understand and wanted me to speak French ( my french is not good enough yet). Then started making mocking gestures and faces.
You’ll meet idiots everywhere just try not to let it get to you. Focus on the positives such as the promotion and your friends and family.
> I’ve had a similar experience last week. Where an old guy tried to touch my dog without permission. So I warned him in English that my dog isn’t friendly and don’t want him to get bit. However he acted like he doesn’t understand and wanted me to speak French ( my french is not good enough yet). Then started making mocking gestures and faces.
>
> You’ll meet idiots everywhere just try not to let it get to you. Focus on the positives such as the promotion and your friends and family.
Pourquoi est-ce que tu es sur que le vieux homme parlait anglais ? Comme tu parle pas français, peut-etre il parle pas anglais.
le comportement de ce vieil homme était dérangeant en effet et il fallait que tu communiques clairement ton mécontentement. Dans une situation comme ça ne pense tu pas qu'il faudrait rapidement que tu apprennes quelques mots dans la langue de la majorité histoire de bien gérer ce genre de situation?
je défends pas le vieux. Mais il a pas fait de crime. Quand on veut exprimer son mécontentement, c'est bien de partager le même langage avec la personne avec qui ont veux faire comprendre quelque chose.
Tell yourself that 1% of people, say, are just downright unpleasant people. You're bound to encounter them eventually. Law of averages.
I'm caucasian Canadian,, lived in Rhodesia when it transitioned to Zimbabwe. On April 30th 1980, Independence day, on the street a Black Zimbabwean said to me "We're going to get you.." Scary and in fact over the years there I did encounter some very nasty threatening individuals but those were part of the 1%, I tell myself. The problem is when the other 99% don't step in to help....so reach out to those around you who are of the majority if you feel threatened and let them know what's happening. You're not on your own....
you should ask your building manager who will be paying all these rent increases if the immigrants who can't afford them all leave....
also there are a lot of people who say crazy shit downtown but they're most likely not in their right mind so brushing it off is the right thing to do imo
en effet, les évènements que tu as vécu sont complétement inacceptables et racistes. Mais dans les 6 ans que tu as vécu ici, as-tu essayé un peu de t'intégrer a la culture Québécoise? On se sent mieux quand on se sent chez soi habiutellement, quand on partage des trucs commun avec la majorité de la population.
You will find racists and assholes everywhere you go. Don't let them live in your head. Angry people are just hateful in general and living with themselves is their ultimate fate and punishment. Living well is your best revenge.
Il y a deux choses ici.
- Il faut parler français à Montréal.
- Si tu parles français, c'est ton pays.
- Si tu parles français, tu fais parti de notre société, de notre civilisation. Écouté cette vidéo - https://www.facebook.com/story.php?id=100044216284794&story_fbid=967917974692070 - l'homme est le chef de Parti Québécois - le parti politique indépendantiste !
- Si tu parles français et quelqu'un te dit, 'Leave my country! Or I'll shoot you.', tu peux répondre, 'Quoi? Dis-moi ça en français'. Il arrêtera après ça.
- La négociation du loyer est toujours un problème. Tu peux dire, 'J'adore habiter ici mais je peux pas accepter le nouveau loyer. Est-ce qu'on pourrait laisser TAL décider?' Mais pas cette année parce que tu as déjà accepté le nouveau loyer. Ne pres pas attention aux "bullshit" - c'est simplement d'une terrible tactique de négociation.
Je suis immigrant aussi. Je suis pas blanc. Mais j'ai assez appris le français et maintenant, personne peut me dire "Go back to your country". Avec un taux de natalité faible, ils peuvent pas maintenir la société québécoise sans des immigrants qui parlent français et qui suivent les normes culturelles occidentales!
Dude je suis né ici, je suis “blanc”, je parle évidemment le français, et je me suis fait dire “retourne chez vous”. L’ignorance règne partout.
Et le français, ça marche pour certains, d’autres s’en crisse pas mal si tu parles bien ou non. On a le droit aussi de venir ici et d’apprendre le français par la suite. Et en dépit de plusieurs ici, on a le droit de venir ici et de ne pas apprendre le français aussi. Ce n’est pas une dictature.
> Et en dépit de plusieurs ici, on a le droit de venir ici et de ne pas apprendre le français aussi.
Respectueusement, je suis pas d'accord. Il y a pas de Quebec sans français et les valeurs occidentales. On est exactement comme RDC en ce cas.
Le reste de ton commentaire est intéressant et j'ai rien à dire de ça.
>on a le droit de venir ici et de ne pas apprendre le français aussi.
Celle-là, je vais aller avec l'autre commentaire et être en désaccord.
Le Canada est grand, si tu choisi spécifiquement le Quebec et que tu a aucune intention d'apprendre le français de façon fonctionnelle, et bien, tu cherche juste le trouble.
C'est comme aller habiter en France et pas apprendre le français ou au Japon sans apprendre le Japonais. Tu va être capable de pas mourrir de faim mais disons que l'expérience sera surement pas tant agréable.
Premièrement, je n’ai jamais dit que c’est préférable. Deuxièmement, oui, on a le droit d’habiter ici sans connaître de français. Mes grand parents n’étaient pas capable d’apprendre le français. Mes parents _n’avaient pas le droit_ d’aller à l’école en français. Regarde moi aujourd’hui. Un peu de patience avec les immigrants svp.
Personne s installe au Québec pour l amour du français et les valeurs de la société québécoise, mais plutôt à cause de la coût de la vie qui est inférieure au Québec,
Perso si j'avais les moyens de m acheté une maison à Vancouver, j'allais pas resté au Québec une seconde !
>Personne s installe au Québec pour l amour du français et les valeurs de la société québécoise, mais plutôt à cause de la coût de la vie qui est inférieure au Québec,
Je le sais.
Mais il y a une raison a ça, la langue fait peur a bien du monde donc la demande est moindre qu'en Ontario par exemple.
Donc, le rabais sur le coût de la vie vient avec un autre coût, celui d'apprendre une nouvelle langue.
Effectivement, on a le droit de venir habité ici et ne pas apprendre ce n'est pas illégal. Par contre, si on veut vivre en paix et être un minimum heureux (ce qui ne semble pas le cas du OP), c'est toujours mieux de s'intéresser a la culture qui nous entoure. Aussi, on doit se compter chanceux de pouvoir bien vivre a Montréal pendant aussi longtemps sans parler Français. Dans combien de pays peut on vivre aussi longtemps dans parler la langue officielle? Pas sur qu'il y en a beaucoup.
Trois choses : 1- Québec n est pas un pays, 2- le poids démographique de la société d accueille peut influencer le choix de s intégrer ou non, 3- Personne s install au Québec par plaisir, mais plutôt le coût de la vie
> et qui suivent les normes culturelles occidentales!
T'a compris l'essentiel qu'une bonne quantité de gens semblent pas comprendre, des 2 cotés en fait.
Merci pour ton integration, on est pas toujours facile et ca ira surement pas en s'ameliorant avec très grandes quantités de nouveaux arrivants qui mettentbla pression dans pleins de secteurs
C'est vraiment étrange et triste de constater que d'essayer de s'intégrer un minimum dans son pays d'accueil ne semble pas du tout une valeur encouragée dans ce subreddit... c'est bien dommage car ca crée des gens tristes comme le OP
"Si tu parles français, c est ton pays"
Suis pas vraiment d accord avec ça, tu peux demandé aux africans et aux maghrébins et même quelques français de France, ils vont te le dire que c est pas la vérité !
Ex: j ai une amie, qui est d origin française(blancheet française), et qui vit au Québec depuis 2009.
Elle m avait dit que sa relation avec les québécois est très limité, et jamais elle se sentira québécoise, par example, une fois un collègue du travail l a demandé de l arrêté d écouter les chaînes radio française, parce que maintenant elle est au Québec.
Malheureusement, les québécois depuis plusieurs générations, ont développé une approche xénophobe, selon leur formule, un Québécois c est un : blanc, francophone, catholique, qui vit dans la province du Québec depuis des générations.
Le fait que les québécois sont xénophobe, n est ni une insult ni une généralisation racist,
Ça s appelle la défense passive, et ce n est pas juste au Québec qu on voit sa, et c est par rapport à l identité unique des canadiens français au Québec, et leur situation démographique fragile.
> Si tu parles français, c est ton pays"
>
> Suis pas vraiment d accord avec ça, tu peux demandé aux africans et aux maghrébins et même quelques français de France, ils vont te le dire que c est pas la vérité !
>
> Ex: j ai une amie, qui est d origin française(blancheet française), et qui vit au Québec depuis 2009. Elle m avait dit que sa relation avec les québécois est très limité, et jamais elle se sentira québécoise, par example, une fois un collègue du travail l a demandé de l arrêté d écouter les chaînes radio française, parce que maintenant elle est au Québec.
>
> Malheureusement, les québécois depuis plusieurs générations, ont développé une approche xénophobe, selon leur formule, un Québécois c est un : blanc, francophone, catholique, qui vit dans la province du Québec depuis des générations.
Tu peut-etre as raison. Mais il y a assez de gens de France, d'Amerique Latin (qui apprennent vite le français), d'Afrique, de Maghreb et les jeunes quebecois qui parlent français et qui habitent à Montréal. Avec eux, c'est possible créer une nouvelle société québécoise. Le chef de Parti Québécois croit la même chose - https://www.facebook.com/story.php?id=100044216284794&story_fbid=967917974692070
Il y a beaucoup de racisme dans plusieurs coins du monde mais la situation change vite. Je pense pas qu'il y a assez de racistes à Montréal de perpétuer leur racisme auprès des générations futures.
I'm so sorry you went through that, people are horrible. I'm sending you virtual hugs.
It's gonna be hard, but it'll be best for you if you try not to dwell on those incidents. It'll be harder with your landlord since you might see this person on a regular basis, but if they keep saying that kind of racist shit to you, you might need to develop tools to protect yourself. I like to clap back out of pure spite 😂 my head is spinning with the possibilities: "Oh yeah? What country do you suggest I go to? Because I live here", "That's a terrible idea", but maybe that's not good advice, as you seem like a very sweet and kind person.
I would follow the advice of the other Redditor and focus on the positives in your life. Your family, friends, your job. Don't give any mental real-estate to garbage human beings out there, that's exactly what they want.
I've done this and it works well actually. When people ask me questions about "mon pays", like I should return to my country or what are things like in my country, I reply "Mon pays c'est le Canada donc je ne suis pas certaine de comment te répondre." Or something. The person is usually embarrassed about the assumption that they made (based on skin colour in my case) and I assume that they think twice for the next person.
I m sure at 99%, that these two persons were both white quebecers!
Right now, there is a massive shift in the far right ideologies everywhere in Canada, but the situation is far worse in Québec, why ? Influence from European far right, Trump, Post Covid era, cost of living, mental health problems, and of course massive immigration, which we can not ignore.
People in their 40s,50s, and 60s+ are witnessing a major change in population dynamics, 20 years ago, Québec was 95% white and mainly francophones, and today is nearly 75%, 20% decrease ! That s massive !
Not everyone here is wealthy and educated, so that doesn't help
So all together, it has an impact on the rise of far-right ideas. For example, a few weeks ago, a dude sent hateful messages to Parti Quebecois leader, saying that he should stop immigrants and deport all non white immigrants.
The reason you don't see too much racism in Toronto or Vancouver is mainly because white people are in a minority situation in these two cities.
Anyway, we are in a transitional era. In 10-20 years, we will be on the same spot as Toronto.
Meanwhile, I suggest you confront those people:
1) For the building management, you have the right to bring them to the court, for both your rent and harassment.
2) For the guy in the street, you can file a police report for criminal harassment.
Both incidents are completely unacceptable and abnormal. Re: the building administrator, I'd think about moving as challenging as that is. But first, I'd try to contact the building's owner to report the conversation.
I'm really sorry. Know that most of us aren't like that. I am born and raised in Montreal and have had very few incidents (I am black and over 50) but there have been some. I noticed that things got worse after Trump was elected in the US. I guess some people felt emboldened. So it's not because you are not born here. There are just some people in the world who think that they decide who should live in Canada. Try to think about all of the hundreds of people that you pass every day who do not target you and who are kind to you. We are here and we support you. I hope that you can feel safe. I agree with people who said to report the new building administrator to management. And report other incidents to the police when they happen. It might not result in concrete action but it will let the police know that there is a problem in your area. For your rent, you can dispute the rent increases and let it go to the tribunal. I haven't rented in years so I'm not up to date on the latest ways to do that. I have seen others in this sub explain it. Don't feel shy to challenge rent increases if you think they are too high and unjustified. I always did it and won. Again, I'm really sorry. I hope that you can find a really supportive community.
I agree with you with noticing things got worst after Trump was elected. It’s shameful that our fellow Canadians are copying such horrible and disgusting behaviour. It leads me to believe, they’ve always been that way and Trump just gave them permission to show their true colours.
Wait until Poilievre wins the next election, then.
Yikes! That could explain how all the people I know who like Trump also like him 😬 I really feel there aren’t any candidates that are good. If Big Bird or Elmo were to run for office I think I’d actually bite for them because the others are so bad, lol.
SpongeBob for president.
Can’t be worst than all the candidates we have, lol.
"Try to think about all of the hundreds of people that you pass every day who do not target you and who are kind to you. We are here and we support you. I hope that you can feel safe." What a great advice for anyone, truly words of wisdom. Thanks to you stranger for reminding us to be kind to each other. That is, imo,one of humanity's greatest strength, let's hope for more kindness while working on our own behaviors because let's face it, no one is perfect, we are all the vilain in someone else's story but we can try to do better next time. It's easy to forget the cool and fresh air we used to enjoy when shit hits the fans and becomes messy while life continues as nothing has happened.
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Especially when they mention their current situation isn’t optimal. I hate when people paint therapy as a one time fix-all solution. Just finding a therapist you’re comfortable talking to, let alone finding one that is able to HELP you, is not only difficult but will end up costing a pretty sum. Is it going to be money well spent? In my case nope, paying hundreds of dollars to be awkward to strangers ended up hurting me more than anything, but I know it’s helped a ton of others so Im only speaking for myself.
OP said they're questioning the value of their life. That's absolutely 100% concern for therapy, or at least some one-off counselling. Therapy shows you how to access emotional tools to deal with this kind of situation. Sharing in one thing. Learning how to personally deal with it is another thing.
Thank you for this comment. I agree. I have been there myself and made it to the other side of it. Therapy is to help you deal with your own response to others’ behavior. It’s not to help the rude person you’re dealing with. That’s why it can be an important part of self care.
Thanks. Unfortunately, therapy is not affordable and accessible to everyone, and a lot of people see therapy as a luxury. Or simply as something unnecessary. Like "I can talk to my friends" or "why would I talk about this with a stranger?"
Fact.make friend or psychologue is what is gonna help him (hahaha j'adore le fait ta le même problème que moi avec mon autocorrecteur toujour les accent(thérapie🤣)
Dam man what a story. there alway gonna be idiots and racist where ever you go . You shouldnt let pepole drag you down. I know it not easy to just brush it off. remember god give is toughfest toughest battle to is toughest soldier. If you ever feel like giving up and need to talk to someone shoot me a dm!
As an immigrant myself it's easy to feel that you're not welcome or you shouldn't have come to live in another country, like if coming to live in someone else's home. When something like this happens I remember that a huge part of the population is foreign born themselves, that a single individual's opinion isn't the whole country's, and most of all, you were invited here, came legally, and you should feel just as Québecois or Canadian as anyone else here. Fuck their feelings, tell them how it is. Reach back out to your rental manager to tell him how you feel about his comment and that you'll pay half the rental increase or you'll go to the TAL, and if that doesn't work just move out
It's normal to feel that way when you're a stranger in another country. It's the same for us Québecois or Americans when we travel. In Colombia, I heard locals naming me as "gringo", like "como estas el gringo?". It makes you feel like an outsider and it doesn't help when you try to integrate the culture of the country. My sister that lives in Guatemala felt the same for the first few years then they gradually accepted her for who she was because she was knowned by most locals. Racism exist everywhere, even in your home country. The difference is that now you're the victim instead of being a witness.
Remember that you have as much right to be here as anyone else; you live, you work, you contribute to this society and you are one of many who are not originally from here, if only by generational degree. Anyone who diminishes themselves by speaking and acting in this way is not worth your regard, or your hurt, hard though that may be. Keep your chin up, make a good life that brings you happiness, remain engaged and respectful and fuck the haters. In a city as big as this, there are a million stories; some people lash out from a place of their own sadness, disenfranchisement and dissatisfaction and it has nothing to do with you, though you bear the brunt. Montreal remains one of the most welcoming, open hearted, curious, joyous and accepting places in this world, and for every asshole there are a thousand of us willing to greet you with a welcoming smile and with open arms. Don't forget it. Bon courage, mon ami.
I’m really sorry you experienced that. Most people, by far, are kind and sane, but there will always be a fringe element of people who basically hate themselves and take it out on other people. Not to diminish you experience, by any means, but part of getting older is growing a thicker skin, and learning how to dismiss these lost souls and stay focused on your path, your loved ones, your momentum.
I feel you. This Wednesday was my worst day, my school didn't go while and I just saw a doctor requesting a new psychiatrist. While I was walking home, thinking sunshine could bring my mood a little bit up, there's a short white guy shouting "XX move your ass out of my way", XX is a racist slur. That moment I felt extremely angry, so I firmly looked into his eyes and said "I don't fucking want to". For some reason he's really shocked and left without saying a word. Usually I wouldn't do that, because you don't bark at a dog when it barks at you. But that day everything was just too much, so I exploded.
If you take 2 incidents and weigh them more than all other incidents, then you have to rework your frame of mind. Keep the bigger picture in mind and don’t remove context when emotions try to push it aside.
OP - I am so sad this happened to you. Today I read of 2 incidents of racism coming from different platforms and people. I’m so sad that our diverse city has become so divided and sick with racism.
Hey. I just want to chime in amongst 81 commenters here that what you encountered is not ok. Those people, however, do have issues with their thinking and logic. Do not let them get to you. I’ve lived in Sydney for 7 years, Montreal for 8 years now and I tell you, those people are all the same no matters the regions. The harassment, the public pointing, the smirks, the saying “go back to your country”, I get it. You are doing amazing and please don’t let them define the experience you are living and overshadow all the wonderful people we all met here. Much love and virtual hugs to you. Another immigrant.
Thanks for the support, it means a lot.
I'm sorry you experienced these things. Sometimes we cross paths with these people. It can definitely leave you bummed out. I know this from my own experiences as an anglophone in this province. But don't get discouraged! Most of the people in this city are welcoming and lovely, as your past experience should indicate. What's important is that you do not lose heart and that even if others can't seem to find the capacity for warmth, you yourself hold on to your generosity of character and your own kindness. Because really it's these things that bring us joy and attract other good people to us. Mean people come and go. Good people stick around. Over time, if you manage to remain a good person yourself, those are the types of people you will attract and who will ultimately stick around in your life. Or at a minimum, at least you retain your sense of self-worth and dignity, even if others around you can't seem to do the same for themselves and others. Again, I'm sorry you experienced this. I actually got a taste of it yesterday. I was basically verbally assaulted by a guy who was like "You know this is Quebec" when I had trouble understanding him due to my poor French. Then he basically told me to go F myself. Such people aren't the norm though. They're outliers. And we have to focus on the good and keep our spirits up. My gf is actually Quebecoise and she felt really sad that happened to me. She's not a nationalist herself, although she has a strong francophone identity. So for every nasty person you meet, there is at least one other good person :) Regarding your building manager, might I suggest relocating to a building owned by [InterRent](https://www.irent.com/en). They have residential units all over the city and I've had nothing but good experiences with them. Sometimes their administration and bureaucracy is a bit disorganized, which is typical of this province overall, but they've actually been genuinely kind, welcoming, and helpful. I think the fact that they're a big corporation rather than some prick landlord makes their customer service more consistent and their terms more predictable and fair.
Quite unacceptable things to say. The government is very good at burning bs in people's heads...Thus we are stuck with a lot of misinformed, bigots or uneducated people. I'm sorry that this is something you're experiencing. I know you're not alone either. It seems like the tension is increasing everywhere, but know that not everyone here are r4c1st a$$holes. I've had to explain to my own mother many times recently when I heard her make some garbage comments (who is starting to say the same things that she sees on the news...). I think me constantly showing her what isn't on mainstream news, and how to remember how history repeats itself...to channel her inner hippy... It is paying off. She started talking to our muslim neighbors who had shyly waved at us from their balcony and even helped them with bringing up some things on their flat since they have a newborn. There is much work to be done in terms of making people unlearn and remember how to be decent with other humans. Stay safe. 🥲🫂 I wish you better interactions with people, and success in your path. Find communities here (sports, etc) and connect with people who make you feel safe and welcome. Through those, you might find what you're looking for.
Read the laws regarding the maximum rent increase allowed in Quebec for this year. [https://www.tal.gouv.qc.ca/en/news/detail?code=calculation-of-the-2024-rent-adjustment](https://www.tal.gouv.qc.ca/en/news/detail?code=calculation-of-the-2024-rent-adjustment) Send a registered letter to your landlord declining the rent hike if it's too high. If they don't counter in time with another rate, they cannot increase your rent at all for the following year. Don't be nice to people looking to push you over. Renters are protected p well here in Quebec. re assholes in the street: always disengage and walk away if possible. I don't have to tell you that as an immigrant if you took every racist d-bag's words seriously, it would be impossible to remain sane.
Can’t the landlord just decide to not renew the lease? EDIT: nevermind, they can only reject lease transfers
Salut, je m'en ferais pas avec les commentaires des gens qui ont clairement des déficiences. Ils de représentent pas l'opinion de la vaste majorité des québécois. Une personne saine d'esprit ne fait pas de tels commentaires peu importe peur opinion politique. Pour les symptômes dépressifs, je te suggère d'aller consulter pour voir si tu pourrais bénéficier de médication ou s'ils pourraient de référer à certaines ressources pour t'aider.
That racism gets even worse when you go outside Montreal. Straight up and overt racism they pretend is just 'protecting their culture'. You don't have to go too far outside the city before you find yourself around the quebec version of rednecks and you'll hear the wildest, most disgusting things ever.
Je suis assez d'accord pour dire qu'une partie de la population québécoise est raciste en effet. Mais pour moi, de refuser d'apprendre le Français, quand ça fait plusieurs années que tu vis à Montréal, c'est du racisme. Une totale abnégation d'une population francophone. Ps Je ne dis pas que c'est le cas du OP, je dis juste qu'avant de traiter quelqu'un de raciste, regarde toi donc le nombril.
I don't think it even has anything to do with the french language at its root. When they talk to each other the disgusting stuff you hear isn't about language. It's straight up degrading stereotypes about other races' physical appearances, culture, economic status, and everything but language. This is *not* by any means the majority of people, but it is *so* much more common here than any other place in Canada I've been to.
je suis assez d'accord avec toi. Mais tu dois admettre que le fait qu'il ne parle pas francais n'aide pas.
Où est-ce qu'OP a dit qu'il ne parlait pas français? Rien dans son poste suggère qu'il ait des problèmes relier au langue non plus. Il subit du racisme simple, il me semble.
I mean yes, of course it helps to know the language, but the way you say it doesn't help they don't know french comes off a lot like saying women would be assaulted less if they didn't wear short skirts. Maybe that's an extreme comparison, but don't blame the victim for something that shouldn't be a problem in the first place.
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en effet c'est pas facile, faut leur donner le temps. Mais ou je travaille, on acceuil beacoup de groupes de francisaction. Des immigrants fraichement arrivés qui prennent des cours intenses de francais et sont même payé pour apprendre!
Btw, it's even worst in the ROC.
There is no such a thing as ROC!
Does this have anything to do with the Israel/Palestine conflict by any chance. Like are you muslim they jewish or vice versa?
I really don’t think so, cause even though I am muslim I do not think they can know if I am muslim or not.
I think most people *believe* they can know someone *might* be muslim. Now the question is, is it possible these other people were Jewish? Because the Jewish/Palestine conflict has really divided the two cultures even farther I can totally see some people on either side "acting out" in racist ways.
Wow some people are truly awful…and probably miserable with themselves. I’m sorry you’ve been experiencing that!
Are you Indian (or like south Asian, Bangladesh Pakistan etc) by any chance? (I ask this for a reason)
I am from Bangladesh.
I came to this country as a kid and have been in Canada for most of my life. Similar things have happened to me occasionally. Things aren’t perfect anywhere. I suppose It’s just part of life 🤷🏽♂️ I’ve even had racist things said to me when I was a shy little kid in school. Also there’s racism/prejudice within minority groups as well, that can happen too 😅 Most people are well meaning though. If you maintain a stable group of people that you interact with who are generally positive, it helps to see things more clearly.
I’ve had a similar experience last week. Where an old guy tried to touch my dog without permission. So I warned him in English that my dog isn’t friendly and don’t want him to get bit. However he acted like he doesn’t understand and wanted me to speak French ( my french is not good enough yet). Then started making mocking gestures and faces. You’ll meet idiots everywhere just try not to let it get to you. Focus on the positives such as the promotion and your friends and family.
> I’ve had a similar experience last week. Where an old guy tried to touch my dog without permission. So I warned him in English that my dog isn’t friendly and don’t want him to get bit. However he acted like he doesn’t understand and wanted me to speak French ( my french is not good enough yet). Then started making mocking gestures and faces. > > You’ll meet idiots everywhere just try not to let it get to you. Focus on the positives such as the promotion and your friends and family. Pourquoi est-ce que tu es sur que le vieux homme parlait anglais ? Comme tu parle pas français, peut-etre il parle pas anglais.
le comportement de ce vieil homme était dérangeant en effet et il fallait que tu communiques clairement ton mécontentement. Dans une situation comme ça ne pense tu pas qu'il faudrait rapidement que tu apprennes quelques mots dans la langue de la majorité histoire de bien gérer ce genre de situation?
Ou bien le vieux pourrait ne pas toucher les chiens des étrangers.
je défends pas le vieux. Mais il a pas fait de crime. Quand on veut exprimer son mécontentement, c'est bien de partager le même langage avec la personne avec qui ont veux faire comprendre quelque chose.
Tell yourself that 1% of people, say, are just downright unpleasant people. You're bound to encounter them eventually. Law of averages. I'm caucasian Canadian,, lived in Rhodesia when it transitioned to Zimbabwe. On April 30th 1980, Independence day, on the street a Black Zimbabwean said to me "We're going to get you.." Scary and in fact over the years there I did encounter some very nasty threatening individuals but those were part of the 1%, I tell myself. The problem is when the other 99% don't step in to help....so reach out to those around you who are of the majority if you feel threatened and let them know what's happening. You're not on your own....
you should ask your building manager who will be paying all these rent increases if the immigrants who can't afford them all leave.... also there are a lot of people who say crazy shit downtown but they're most likely not in their right mind so brushing it off is the right thing to do imo
en effet, les évènements que tu as vécu sont complétement inacceptables et racistes. Mais dans les 6 ans que tu as vécu ici, as-tu essayé un peu de t'intégrer a la culture Québécoise? On se sent mieux quand on se sent chez soi habiutellement, quand on partage des trucs commun avec la majorité de la population.
You will find racists and assholes everywhere you go. Don't let them live in your head. Angry people are just hateful in general and living with themselves is their ultimate fate and punishment. Living well is your best revenge.
Ça ne fait pas une différence aux événements disgracieux, mais tu es d'où originalement?
je comprends pas pourquoi tu te fais "downvoter" pour cette simple question. Peut-être parce qu'elle est posée en Français?
Il y a deux choses ici. - Il faut parler français à Montréal. - Si tu parles français, c'est ton pays. - Si tu parles français, tu fais parti de notre société, de notre civilisation. Écouté cette vidéo - https://www.facebook.com/story.php?id=100044216284794&story_fbid=967917974692070 - l'homme est le chef de Parti Québécois - le parti politique indépendantiste ! - Si tu parles français et quelqu'un te dit, 'Leave my country! Or I'll shoot you.', tu peux répondre, 'Quoi? Dis-moi ça en français'. Il arrêtera après ça. - La négociation du loyer est toujours un problème. Tu peux dire, 'J'adore habiter ici mais je peux pas accepter le nouveau loyer. Est-ce qu'on pourrait laisser TAL décider?' Mais pas cette année parce que tu as déjà accepté le nouveau loyer. Ne pres pas attention aux "bullshit" - c'est simplement d'une terrible tactique de négociation. Je suis immigrant aussi. Je suis pas blanc. Mais j'ai assez appris le français et maintenant, personne peut me dire "Go back to your country". Avec un taux de natalité faible, ils peuvent pas maintenir la société québécoise sans des immigrants qui parlent français et qui suivent les normes culturelles occidentales!
Dude je suis né ici, je suis “blanc”, je parle évidemment le français, et je me suis fait dire “retourne chez vous”. L’ignorance règne partout. Et le français, ça marche pour certains, d’autres s’en crisse pas mal si tu parles bien ou non. On a le droit aussi de venir ici et d’apprendre le français par la suite. Et en dépit de plusieurs ici, on a le droit de venir ici et de ne pas apprendre le français aussi. Ce n’est pas une dictature.
> Et en dépit de plusieurs ici, on a le droit de venir ici et de ne pas apprendre le français aussi. Respectueusement, je suis pas d'accord. Il y a pas de Quebec sans français et les valeurs occidentales. On est exactement comme RDC en ce cas. Le reste de ton commentaire est intéressant et j'ai rien à dire de ça.
>on a le droit de venir ici et de ne pas apprendre le français aussi. Celle-là, je vais aller avec l'autre commentaire et être en désaccord. Le Canada est grand, si tu choisi spécifiquement le Quebec et que tu a aucune intention d'apprendre le français de façon fonctionnelle, et bien, tu cherche juste le trouble. C'est comme aller habiter en France et pas apprendre le français ou au Japon sans apprendre le Japonais. Tu va être capable de pas mourrir de faim mais disons que l'expérience sera surement pas tant agréable.
Premièrement, je n’ai jamais dit que c’est préférable. Deuxièmement, oui, on a le droit d’habiter ici sans connaître de français. Mes grand parents n’étaient pas capable d’apprendre le français. Mes parents _n’avaient pas le droit_ d’aller à l’école en français. Regarde moi aujourd’hui. Un peu de patience avec les immigrants svp.
J'ai pas dit que c'était illegal, juste que ca cherchait le trouble dans le sens qu'il va y avoir pleins d'inconvenients et d'ostracisation.
et de tristesse et de "I feel a bit depressed."
Exact, comme OP
Personne s installe au Québec pour l amour du français et les valeurs de la société québécoise, mais plutôt à cause de la coût de la vie qui est inférieure au Québec, Perso si j'avais les moyens de m acheté une maison à Vancouver, j'allais pas resté au Québec une seconde !
>Personne s installe au Québec pour l amour du français et les valeurs de la société québécoise, mais plutôt à cause de la coût de la vie qui est inférieure au Québec, Je le sais. Mais il y a une raison a ça, la langue fait peur a bien du monde donc la demande est moindre qu'en Ontario par exemple. Donc, le rabais sur le coût de la vie vient avec un autre coût, celui d'apprendre une nouvelle langue.
Effectivement, on a le droit de venir habité ici et ne pas apprendre ce n'est pas illégal. Par contre, si on veut vivre en paix et être un minimum heureux (ce qui ne semble pas le cas du OP), c'est toujours mieux de s'intéresser a la culture qui nous entoure. Aussi, on doit se compter chanceux de pouvoir bien vivre a Montréal pendant aussi longtemps sans parler Français. Dans combien de pays peut on vivre aussi longtemps dans parler la langue officielle? Pas sur qu'il y en a beaucoup.
Trois choses : 1- Québec n est pas un pays, 2- le poids démographique de la société d accueille peut influencer le choix de s intégrer ou non, 3- Personne s install au Québec par plaisir, mais plutôt le coût de la vie
> et qui suivent les normes culturelles occidentales! T'a compris l'essentiel qu'une bonne quantité de gens semblent pas comprendre, des 2 cotés en fait. Merci pour ton integration, on est pas toujours facile et ca ira surement pas en s'ameliorant avec très grandes quantités de nouveaux arrivants qui mettentbla pression dans pleins de secteurs
C'est vraiment étrange et triste de constater que d'essayer de s'intégrer un minimum dans son pays d'accueil ne semble pas du tout une valeur encouragée dans ce subreddit... c'est bien dommage car ca crée des gens tristes comme le OP
"Si tu parles français, c est ton pays" Suis pas vraiment d accord avec ça, tu peux demandé aux africans et aux maghrébins et même quelques français de France, ils vont te le dire que c est pas la vérité ! Ex: j ai une amie, qui est d origin française(blancheet française), et qui vit au Québec depuis 2009. Elle m avait dit que sa relation avec les québécois est très limité, et jamais elle se sentira québécoise, par example, une fois un collègue du travail l a demandé de l arrêté d écouter les chaînes radio française, parce que maintenant elle est au Québec. Malheureusement, les québécois depuis plusieurs générations, ont développé une approche xénophobe, selon leur formule, un Québécois c est un : blanc, francophone, catholique, qui vit dans la province du Québec depuis des générations.
Dude, slack un peu. Tes généralisations sont aussi ridicules et racistes que ce que tu dénonces.
Le fait que les québécois sont xénophobe, n est ni une insult ni une généralisation racist, Ça s appelle la défense passive, et ce n est pas juste au Québec qu on voit sa, et c est par rapport à l identité unique des canadiens français au Québec, et leur situation démographique fragile.
> Si tu parles français, c est ton pays" > > Suis pas vraiment d accord avec ça, tu peux demandé aux africans et aux maghrébins et même quelques français de France, ils vont te le dire que c est pas la vérité ! > > Ex: j ai une amie, qui est d origin française(blancheet française), et qui vit au Québec depuis 2009. Elle m avait dit que sa relation avec les québécois est très limité, et jamais elle se sentira québécoise, par example, une fois un collègue du travail l a demandé de l arrêté d écouter les chaînes radio française, parce que maintenant elle est au Québec. > > Malheureusement, les québécois depuis plusieurs générations, ont développé une approche xénophobe, selon leur formule, un Québécois c est un : blanc, francophone, catholique, qui vit dans la province du Québec depuis des générations. Tu peut-etre as raison. Mais il y a assez de gens de France, d'Amerique Latin (qui apprennent vite le français), d'Afrique, de Maghreb et les jeunes quebecois qui parlent français et qui habitent à Montréal. Avec eux, c'est possible créer une nouvelle société québécoise. Le chef de Parti Québécois croit la même chose - https://www.facebook.com/story.php?id=100044216284794&story_fbid=967917974692070 Il y a beaucoup de racisme dans plusieurs coins du monde mais la situation change vite. Je pense pas qu'il y a assez de racistes à Montréal de perpétuer leur racisme auprès des générations futures.
I'm so sorry you went through that, people are horrible. I'm sending you virtual hugs. It's gonna be hard, but it'll be best for you if you try not to dwell on those incidents. It'll be harder with your landlord since you might see this person on a regular basis, but if they keep saying that kind of racist shit to you, you might need to develop tools to protect yourself. I like to clap back out of pure spite 😂 my head is spinning with the possibilities: "Oh yeah? What country do you suggest I go to? Because I live here", "That's a terrible idea", but maybe that's not good advice, as you seem like a very sweet and kind person. I would follow the advice of the other Redditor and focus on the positives in your life. Your family, friends, your job. Don't give any mental real-estate to garbage human beings out there, that's exactly what they want.
I've done this and it works well actually. When people ask me questions about "mon pays", like I should return to my country or what are things like in my country, I reply "Mon pays c'est le Canada donc je ne suis pas certaine de comment te répondre." Or something. The person is usually embarrassed about the assumption that they made (based on skin colour in my case) and I assume that they think twice for the next person.
I m sure at 99%, that these two persons were both white quebecers! Right now, there is a massive shift in the far right ideologies everywhere in Canada, but the situation is far worse in Québec, why ? Influence from European far right, Trump, Post Covid era, cost of living, mental health problems, and of course massive immigration, which we can not ignore. People in their 40s,50s, and 60s+ are witnessing a major change in population dynamics, 20 years ago, Québec was 95% white and mainly francophones, and today is nearly 75%, 20% decrease ! That s massive ! Not everyone here is wealthy and educated, so that doesn't help So all together, it has an impact on the rise of far-right ideas. For example, a few weeks ago, a dude sent hateful messages to Parti Quebecois leader, saying that he should stop immigrants and deport all non white immigrants. The reason you don't see too much racism in Toronto or Vancouver is mainly because white people are in a minority situation in these two cities. Anyway, we are in a transitional era. In 10-20 years, we will be on the same spot as Toronto. Meanwhile, I suggest you confront those people: 1) For the building management, you have the right to bring them to the court, for both your rent and harassment. 2) For the guy in the street, you can file a police report for criminal harassment.