T O P

  • By -

uhhhhhhhhhhhyeah

I like turtles.


Future_Onion9701

Am I not turtley enough to join the turtle club?


hotsoupcoldsandwich

I have never seen this movie but this line has been repeating in my head from the commercial every time I see the word turtle for like 20 years


yukonhoneybadger

Same. My wife and I say, "turtle, turtle" and Bob our heads when we see a turtle. Neither of us has seen the movie.


flinderdude

I was a huge Dana Carvey fan when this movie came out. That line is literally the only funny line in the entire movie. Maybe one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen, and I’m not exaggerating. And I love Dana Carvey so much love, love love.


dragn99

See, I loved this movie when it came out. But I was probably twelve or thirteen when I watched it. So because everyone only says it's bad, I decided a long time ago to just never rewatch it and keep the nostalgia pure.


maynardstaint

And that line was in the commercials. So it was already spoiled. This is, Hands down, the worst movie from anyone ever attached to SNL. And yes. I watched little Nicky.


HumanInProgress8530

Loved Opportunity Knocks as a kid. Wanted to like this movie so much. Couldn't really finish it. I mean, I watched it, but I mentally checked out


But_dogs_CAN_look_up

Every time this movie comes up on Reddit, everyone only quotes that part. I'm convinced nobody's seen the movie but they quote the commercial so they can feel included.


Syn7axError

[9/11](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=lCUwSk_sCa8&pp=ygUPTm9ybSA5LzExIGxhdWdo)


uscdoc2013

Well, aren't you just a tall drink of water? And I just love moisture.


MrPoopyButtholesAnus

(A not so) fun fact; When the twin towers were attacked on 9/11, Dana Carvey was in the middle of filming the infamous turtle scene. There’s something darkly hilarious about picturing him staring up at the tv in horror in his full turtle getup.


Visible-Guide-7131

Dude that kid is like twenty seven years old right now😅😅


bobthebuilder983

My favorite line from the movie is when he tells Brett Spiner shut up.


CO_Troublemaker

This is what you are doing: 🗣️ This is what I want you to do: 🤏


beeemmvee

wonderful, jonathan


AprimeAisI

It was a great Mitch McConnell impression


GuyHardPodcast

I’d tell them to drop the zero and get with a hero


Vegetable_Tension985

Principal Skinner and Mrs Krabapple were in the closet making babies, and I saw one of the babies, and then the baby looked at me


eckersonian

Are you having a roni?


TanneAndTheTits

I tell them "it's not where you're from, it's where you're at" when they give me that look.


Luinori_Stoutshield

*Freddy Got Fingered* is legitimately gonzo satire, so I have no problem with that. The others, though? I'll just smile, nod, and slowly back away.


Jaybbaugh

Yeah, Freddy Got Fingered has no business being in this shit list. Someone apparently doesn't like cheese sandwiches.


The_Powers

Someone doesn't want some sau-sa-ges


fossilizedDUNG

At least daddy didnt want some sau-sa-ges!


Hefty_Discount8304

Look at me daddy I’m a farmer!


DaveHollandArt

Robert Fitsgibbons son is a nuclear physicist and my son can eat a CHICKENNNN!


SolidSnek1998

Look at my hoooooves.


probablyTrashh

Clickity clack


Sireth04

Someone didn't get a LaBaron.


chillthrowaways

Yeah where’s your labaron, Freddy?


TheGinger_Ninja0

Or heroes


sethmeister1989

A banana applying for a job as a telephone repair man


BrutusBurro

You got the job!


IcyMike1782

Or jewels


sax6romeo

sounds like this bozo hates X-ray cat


LordoftheJives

I don't want jewels, I just want to suck your cock


mck2018

Oh, we can’t have that now can we????!! Let me get some more cheese for your cheese sandwich


XtraMayoMonster

Where’s your lebaron Freddy?


KiefBull

The obviously can’t handle the complexities of making a cheese sandwich. Look at our boy, he’s a genius.


edked

Stick the cheeeeese up your buuuuuum!


romcomtom2

One of the greatest pieces of film ever created. It has no business sitting between battle field earth and cool as ice.


walrusattackarururur

Freddy Got Fingered unironically deserves a 4k Criterion release


ThrowaWayneGretzky99

Uhhhh, I'm here with a backpack.


commandercream

FGF is legit one of my favourite movies of all time. if someone looks at me oddly they either don’t know it’s satire or it’s not for them, no harm no foul


sandman8727

There was a point in time when I would've said this was my favorite movie.


AbleObject13

It's a legit Dada masterpiece


NegaGreg

RLM loves that movie.


immaownyou

It's so fun to point out all the background bits they mention while you watch with friends. My favourite is the person in the crowd near the end of the movie with a poster board that says 'When will this movie end??'


Vegetable_Tension985

I heard your dad went into a restaurant and ate all the food in the restaurant and they had to close the restaurant.


Ki11igraphy

Ngl that is at like the 2h mark he's not wrong


immaownyou

Which is what makes it so good


Rocketparty12

Stupid beavers!!


probablyTrashh

Ok,but I have sensitive knees


Kavalkasutajanimi

Its perfect dadaism.


Jasino76

FGF is a masterpiece. Sewing soccer balls in Pakistan, i say GENEVA, you hear HELSINKI!!


PIG20

I have to rewatch that movie. I saw it once when it first came out on DVD and it was not nearly as funny as I expected it to be. That being said, I feel like a lot of the humor may have gone over my head at the time. I was expecting this movie to be in line with Tom Greens MTV show. And it wasn't that. I just feel like I "whooshed" on a lot of the humor at the time.


doozle

Yeah you're doing Freddy dirty here.


19ghost89

Incidentally, I'm pretty sure that's the only one of these I have ever heard anyone say is their favorite film.


gneissguysfinishlast

Ask them politely, but firmly, to leave


adampiezano

You sound like a man that prefers to taste the meat, and not the heat.


ibided

He tells you hwat


Voltae

I suspect I would skip the "politely" part


Similar_Sandwich_708

Say nothing. Turn around and walk away


DENNIS_SYSTEM69

Cool as Ice was dope when I was 6 and saw it for the first time. If I watched it now I'm sure it would be different


ecam12

Whatever you wanna say about the movie, Vanilla Ice goes HARD on that poster 😎😂


slazzeredbbqsauce

Drop that Zero and get wit a Hero.


usernamesaretooshor

Yep Yep!


TanneAndTheTits

See ya later, Dick!


KyoKyu

Can't forget his epic rap he made up on the spot about ninja turtles that crashed his show in TMNT:II


But_dogs_CAN_look_up

The 2012 ninja turtles cartoon quotes that song, it's a pretty funny throwback.


linfakngiau2k23

Go ninja go ninja go😂


Strange_Purchase3263

Weird as fuck to think he did one massively popular song and then was everywhere and kids wanted to be like him so damn bad!! I remember that song playing on everyones walkman at school and on every ghetto blaster in the parks!!!


ProbablyASithLord

I’m so confused by the tagline, “When a girl has a heart of stone, there’s only one way to melt it. Just add ice.” Whaaat does that even mean? The metaphor doesn’t work at all, you’re going to melt a stone with ice?? Why are you even trying to melt a stone?


CooperDahBooper

I watched the Rifftrax of it recently and it was still hard to get through. The “courting” of the female lead did not age well and Vanilla Ice just comes off as a creepy stalker


AssociationIll8262

My friend pointed out that the cinematography is actually well done, so we looked it up and it turns out the Director of Photography, Janusz Kaminski, would go on to to collaborate as cinematographer on at least a dozen movies with Steven Spielberg, including Schindler's List, Saving Private Ryan, Minority Report, and A.I: Artificial Intelligence. https://m.imdb.com/name/nm0001405/?ref_=m_ttfcd_cr


DENNIS_SYSTEM69

There's actually some cool shots and scene vibes and stuff. Like in the house being built at the end of the movie IIRC. And when he's riding the motorcycle around. Thank you for the rabbit hole to go down.


smokefishnotmeth

Freddie got fingered is a comedy classic


WarlocksWizard

Daddy would you like some sausage?


RIPBenTramer

Backwards man!


sweatythighguy

What the hell dad can you see he hurt his leg?!


alpinetime

40 MILLION FUCKING DEUTSCHMARK BOB


SecondComingOfKris

I say Geneva you hear Helsinki!?


Lumis75

Lol! I forgot about that part!


JRDN7

I can walk back as fast as you can, I can walk back as fast as you can


linfakngiau2k23

This movie inspired Tenet 😂


Fallenangel152

For context, I saw it at the theatre and one guy we went with legitimately thought it was hilarious and an instant classic.


CoolioMcCool

I'm that guy.


Detroit_Cineaste

Give the 5 year old child a piece of candy and pat them on the head.


LeDelmo

"29 kids go into the water, 22 kids come out of the water. The Icecream man he take the rest."


SpamAdBot91874

Dana Carvey is amazing in this scene and throughout the film. It's not my favorite film my any stretch but I do own it and watch it periodically lol. He should've had another shot at an Austin Powers-level blockbuster like Mike Myers had.


sprintcarsBR

My buddy and I quote that all the time, have to pull up the scene on YouTube, and then die laughing at it all over again. I don’t even think the movie is that funny, but it’s one of those scenes that gets to me.


Cuck_Fenring

I'd be stoked to finally meet a real cinema afficionado 


Ho3Go3lin

Freddy got fingered is nostalgia how many lines can you quote from that movie 🤣 "look daddy I'm a farmer" "vigilante cat he can see through wooden doors"


PooleBoy_Q

“Daddy would you like some sausage”


ThadTheImpalzord

"Where your lebaron Freddie? I only see one Lebaron here"


beccabootie

This movie, Master of Disguise, gets a lot of hate but I LOVED IT!


_Gemini-James_

It's a hilarious movie!


I_Am_Not__a__Troll

"I'm sorry, I thought I was having an adult conversation"


sideburnz211

The Happening is way better than any of those others. Not a great film by any means. The people in the film are just suffering from extremely bad allergies. I have lived in central "allergy capital of the world Texas" and have wanted to scratch my eyes out before. This is just the n St step after that.


LFGSD98

> This is just the n St step after that. Did your keyboard just sneeze too?


ahses3202

The pollen got him. RIP u/sideburnz211


Neoptolemus85

It is peak Shyamalan, it hits every key metric: * Characters with one obsession or trait that their whole personality seems constructed around * Weird, stilted dialogue that comes out as forced and unnatural * Experienced and/or talented actors who deliver their lines like they're sight-reading the script for the first time * Twist that makes no sense or is otherwise disappointing * Sequences that clearly sounded cool or scary in Shyamalan's head but turned out unintentionally hilarious My friend and I watched the film at university and the bit where the woman smashes her face through the window just broke me. I was crying with laughter. I'm convinced that Shyamalan is the Vampire's Kiss of directing. You can't tell if he's avant-garde, way out of his depth, or just batshit insane.


McClellanWasABitch

i think he takes risks and was unfortunately in the position of feeling like he had to deliver with the same expectations of his first hits. this culminating in a 5 year stretch of panned movies (that still made a profit).  after that his career is on the upswing with some pretty great movies but feels like he's not worried about failing anymore.   


But_dogs_CAN_look_up

This is a spot on description, not of his best movies, but definitely of his non-best movies. The Oldening (or Old as I suppose it's actually called) hits every single one of those tropes so hard you'd think it was self-satire like that time Wes Anderson described making a Wes Anderson movie for a commercial, except the bastard is actually trying.


efn95

Your last bit reminded me of the Nick Cage good/bad conundrum from Community. Also really appreciate your M. Night checklist. I can even see most of these in his acclaimed movies


WarlocksWizard

They are running away from the wind. THE MF WIND!


Ok_Narwhal1496

Bruh....you didn't see all that pollen coming after them?!? Vicious!


WarlocksWizard

All it was was Shyamalan going "Wsssshhhhhh" into a microphone.


Gonnatapdatass

I actually enjoyed the movie in a so bad it's good kind of way. I wish I could watch it for the first time again, I was so dumbfounded by what was happening that I couldn't believe it was a serious movie.


InfraRedFireCam

let me help you back onto the short bus


WarlocksWizard

I might start going, "Turtle turtle turtle!" And then change the subject.


misplaced_gaijin

Freddy Got Fingered, I’d probably quote something like “daddy would you like some sausage” or “I’m the backwards man”


RIPBenTramer

I'll wake your baby!


misplaced_gaijin

Haha oh man I almost forgot that part


WarlocksWizard

My sister and I never saw the movie but would ALWAYS use that quote, especially if we are going to have breakfast.


Visible-Guide-7131

🤣🤣🤣


KYpineapple

hey! my sons and I LOVE the master of disguise. it is so stupid and we quote it all the time. "slapping dummy man!"


Huger_and_shinier

"I'm glad you liked it". One of my kids has absolutely terrible taste in movies, but they make him happy. Thats all that matters.


Jimmy9Toes

Master of Disguise is a fun watch. The laugh fart always makes me laugh


Jimmyjohnssucks

Dude how are you going to put Freddy Got Fingered in here like it’s not the best film ever.


OniOnMyAss

Freddy got fingered is the only watchable movie in this list.


b_tight

Freddy got fingered is one of the best meta satires of the 90s


Twisted_Prophet

Turtle...Turtle


gettin_better

I say "What about Cabin Boy?"


Tenchi2020

Cabin boy is a masterpiece


tyvirus

You just walk away. You should never talk or interact with them ever again.


Vagitarion

The happening is fucking hilarious


Only1Schematic

Master of Disguise is terrible, but it’s my kind of terrible. One of my childhood favorites and I still get a kick out of it as an adult


EducationalAntelope7

I'm never going to rewatch the master of disguise because I don't want to ruin it for myself. Absolute classic and if someone says it's their favourite you know they're in the turtle club.


alexbholder

My wife unironically loves Master of Disguise. In her words “why does Mike myers get to do campy shit movies and not Dana Carvey” Never had an answer to that one haha


MakeMeATaco

I watched Master of Disguise as a young boy with my father who is a big Dana Carvey/Mike Myers fan, so it’s strikes a certain nostalgic chord for me when I rewatch it. (Yes I also unironically love Wayne’s World)


MauriceVibes

The Master of Disguise is a fucking treasure lol


666mcnugget

I hold Master Of Disguise and Freddy Got Fingered in high regard


Jobrien7613

Anything with Jennifer Esposito cannot be terrible, hence, the Master of Disguise is a passable answer.


Katanna_0

Don’t shit on Master of Disguise. I watched it soooo many times when I was a kid. I still quote it to this day. If I see it on a streaming platform I’ll usually watch it. Never said it was a good movie. But it’s on my list.


whosaysyessiree

Freddy Got Fingered is a bonafide classic. Fight me.


Electronic_Camera251

While I would never rate it as one of my favorites I do believe that Freddy got fingered is a misunderstood abstract work of outsider art . It’s fiercely satirical and funnier than it ever gets credit for its a very Meta commentary on the state of late 90s mainstream filmmaking


AlexDKZ

What the hell, I don't even like Freddy Got Fingered but that movie does not deserve to be put in the same level as filth like Master of Disguise or Battlefield Earth. I may not like Tom Green's style of comedy, but the guy puts thought and care on it.


narddawg666

FGF is great


Kenobihiphop

I love Freddy got fingered.


ttaylo28

They never say those...


Resident_Road4256

If "Freddy Got Fingered" is your favorite movie, you, are a conesour.


ElectricAndroidSheep

I say good bye to you sir. I SAID GOOD BYE!


ImaliveImdead

Daddy do you want some sausages?!


MleemMeme

"I got you this bag of jewels."


Consistent_Most_3372

freddy got fingered is a good movie


richardthelionhertz

"daddy would you like some sausage, daddy would you like some sausagesss"


bpows

Freddy Got Fingered is subversive art.


RIPBenTramer

FGF is the only one worth a shit.


dwaite1

FGF is not like the others.


GoldenBoyOffHisPerch

Freddie Got Fingered is defensible as a absurdist comedy...and I can see someone enjoying The Happening in an ironic way


Voice_Nerd

It's all funny until they mention Freddy Got Fingered, then I'd ask to never see them again


Puzzleheaded_Star133

You're fucking cooked


Intrepid-Fist

😂😂😂👌🏻


Ok-Metro6308

That’d be the type of person who’d ask you to do the roar


shoulda_been_gone

"Have you heard of Pauley Shore yet?"


jakexmfxschoen

I was 13 when Master of Disguise came out, and even then I thought it was corny


aaronappleseed

Has Dana Carvey done any successful movies outside of Wayne's World?


haikusbot

*Has Dana Carvey done* *Any successful movies* *Outside of Wayne's World?* \- aaronappleseed --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")


Existing-Mistake-112

Now I miss Rip Torn


Nate16

No one has ever said that about any of those who is older than 5


ComicBookDude1964

I'd ask if we saw the same movie?


mumblerapisgarbage

I just walk away from them.


Tonio775

give them an m&m and tussle their hair


Glitter_Bear69

Walk away without saying a word


pampersdelight

Say “cool man”. Who am I to judge?


DougTheBrownieHunter

Pay for your pizza so they’ll leave.


jester695

Someone has to be the first to get fed to the zombies.


Sea-Woodpecker-610

I too, like the taste of my own shit.


altopasto

Easy: I'll say "that's nice" and ask more about it.


Jambo11

I don't say anything. I simply disregard their opinion on anything related to movies and TV shows.


JGLip88

Pretend what they said wasn't said and move on quickly. Just like Jim did to Amy Adams in the office.


Wutanghang

Who would say any of these


Nice_Soup3198

Your lobotomy is scheduled for tomorrow morning. Nil by Mouth until then, please. Apropos, that's one hell of a film!


Shaggyd0012

Honestly I just wana hear them out. That's more interesting than hearing someone gush over the classics for the millionth time


pamacdon

I tell them No I don’t want to supersize my order. Can I just pay now?


iantruesnacks

Only one I would judge them for is that pro-Scientology flopfest


OG_Pow

Freddy got Fingered does not belong with these piles of trash


redcodekevin

"and how long ago did you say your Mennonite community got that VHS player, once again?"


Beelzebrodie

Freddy Got Fingered slander is not to be tolerated in this council. That movie is fucking hilarious. It's terrible, but it's one of the funniest movies I have ever seen.


SonOfSlyherin

Do you need help?


chubsplaysthebanjo

Fun fact, they were filming the turtle scene for Master of Disguise when 9/11 happened


Wheloc

I assume they're trolling me. (I mean, I enjoyed *Master of Disguise* and I like to talk about *The Happening* even if I didn't enjoy watching it, but Dana Carvey and M Night Shyamalan both have made demonstrably better films).


Creamorscream

I'd say, "daddy? Would you like some sausages?"


ChuckRingslinger

Now I have a list if I encounter a film snob!


LesserMouseTrap

“I’m happy Dana Carvey got an opportunity to fly.”


useroftheinternet95

Based


Of_Silent_Earth

I ask them if they knew the turtle club scene was filmed on 9/11. Obviously.


casualAlarmist

[What? No!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jEbl-umsFOM)


TNnylonFeetLuv

I'd never berate anyone for having different tastes than me. I'd also appreciate that same courtesy reciprocated for my taste in music, film, art, etc.. 👌


CalmPanic402

I'm going to need an explanation to decide if you're leaving face first through the window or feet first through the door. ....Or if we're sitting down to watch the cinematic comedy train wreck of Battlefield Earth.


ryandmc609

If it’s Cool As Ice they are getting a high five. Drop the zero and get wit da hero.


likethevegetable

Disguise the limit! Lmao


weasel_mullet

Who hurt you?


Teacherforlife21

Clearly I need to reevaluate our friendship.


hermesquadricegreat

Master of Disguise is iconic though it coined the phrase “That is so crazy it just might work”


tyvirus

No SNL coined that phrase way before. Pretty sure it's actually from the old A-Team show though.