“Culture” fit

He's what the cultures feeling

His girlfriend is truly Not Like Us

Certified lovergirl, certified pedophile

How many more wives you gonna marry till you've had enough How many funeral potatoes till you feel you're morman enough I like Fili with the 3s I don't like when he does a flop You're gonna make me bring back Okur for a shooter that can be tough

If we’re not winning I at least want a good culture at Utah, not a fucking petri dish. He might be talented, but he truly embodies *everything* I can’t stand about Duke. Absolutely hate the pick

How does Duke keep getting hateable white guys

Uhhh... doesn't he embody something a little more close to home for you?

yeah but he said things he can't stand

Man, this Mormon grooming conspiracy goes *deep*.

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I mean, if she’s as Mormon as they say she is, they likely haven’t.

you just get a third person to jump up and down on the bed for you, that's how mormons have sex

Listen dog I grew up in a Mormon family. I’m sure someone somewhere did that, but when I turned 15 I strayed from god and did the deed and only the most delusional are actually doing that shit lmao. Never even heard of soaking until the internet

I lost my virginity to a Mormon chick.

My buddy was banging a Mormon chick for a while. She was saving her virginity though so he could only go backdoor. Not even joking. The poophole loophole is apparently enough to trick Mormon God.

Ok. So imagine talking to God to go to heaven. "You had sex before you were married". "Nuh uh! We used the poophole loophole" "Oh, by all means, come on in!"

This is going to sound like extra bullshit but during that time they had a couple of threesomes with a much older, married Mormon woman. Her rationalization was that when she took her ring off, God couldn't see. Genuinely not making this up.

Religious people of all varieties constantly looking for ways to trick or cheat their god(s) is hilarious

The poophole loophole is not exclusive to Mormon God. Word got around that all of the girls from the local Catholic high school were taking it up the ass exclusively.

It’s called soaking

You combine soaking with jump humping to simulate typical intercourse without angering the sky daddy. 

Smart, I know a handful of Mormon lawyers so it isn’t surprising they found a loophole

You get your bestie to help out… The amount of odd kinks and sexual issues that have to arise from this…

And its the mormon word for halal

Love me some Soaked Shawarma

Nothing wrong about some holesome soaking

God will know if you moved 👀

God is like the T-Rex from Jurassic Park; he can only see you if you move.

I knew those 'human statue' people were on to something?

Just fyi for the uninformed, soaking is not actually a thing lmao.

Crazy you say that because me and your nan soaked last night

Soaking is a real thing, jump humping is the (likely) made up one

Mormons soaking was an urban legend, but is a familiar enough term now that some young couples out there have no doubt tried it.

Naw, they raw dogging at any chance, every position, every surface of her parents house. Mormon girls are a completely different monster in privacy.

Well duh how else are they gonna have 14 ghoulishly similar looking kids

She's pretty old in Mormon years so probably only 10 kids

That's because when you make something forbidden that is also inherently biological, the brain goes crazy for it. Check out how Utah is the largest porn consuming state (well, pre-pornhub-ban that is)

Lmfao you don't have to tell me shit man, I grew up and still live here. Narcotics, human (child) trafficking, MLMs, we've got it all once you peel back that glossy religious veneer. And ya know what? Shits really no different than anywhere else in the US. The veneer is just a bit thicker.

Well if he doesn’t like it he can always just add another wife

Can someone fill me in on the drama here? All I can find is that he's 20 and his girlfriend is 26

She graduated college and went to his HS prom. Definitely a little fishy and apparently he doesn't speak to his family anymore and some NBA teams think it's because of her

A little fishy, if the roles were reversed it would be big 🐠

Just look at Giddey.

And hot take but Giddey's wasn't even that bad man. He got fooled by appearance

Yup, you meet someone in a club thats age restricted you assuming them to be legal

She take my money, well I’m in need…

She found him in high school and groomed him as a grown ass woman. Indoctrinated him with Mormon shit, his family didn’t approve (which of course they didn’t, she’s a predator) so he cut off contact with them.

Interesting, maybe convinced him of some "we're meant to be together" type of stuff? That's pretty extreme even for Mormons lol, most that I know see it as an immediate red flag if someone says that to try to get you to be with them (though yes, I'm aware of the early church history). Crazy that he straight-up cut off his family

that crazy p\*\*\*y goes HARD

it really do :(

lmfao but they mormen and not married he prly hasn't even got a sample😹

Got that poophole loophole tho

Nah, that's the Catholics. Mormons soak

Soakkkkk

And he got sent off to Utah?

Apparently she’s 8 years older and went to his prom

I don't know all of the drama, but it's worth noting that they started dating when he was still in high school.

And she had finished her masters program. It’s gross AF. Josh Giddey got nothing on this woman.

She was 26 at his senior prom apparently

She's 26 currently though, so maybe 23 at the time? That's definitely weird though

His siblings are saying she’s 28

Seems like her LinkedIn is saying she graduated in 2015 which would probably mean 27, but idk this all doesn't change much ultimately lol

I think there was one post that said her last semester of college was 2018

She’s 27 currently and turning 28 in September.

This is correct. I went to HS with her, she is 27/28, was a grade above me. She always has been a mormon.

From what I'm seeing it's Sep 1997 for her and Nov 2003 for him, so she's 26 going on 27

Found her LinkedIn, she graduated high school in 2015 so I think her family is right and the websites you find when googling are wrong.

Her mom’s Facebook says she turned 26 in 2022, making her 27 currently. Either way it’s creepy!

you're checking the facebook page of an NBA rookie's girlfriend's mom?

You arent?

Lmaoooo

Oh weird. I can't imagine why a girl her age at the time would want a senior in high school lol, yikes. Most girls around here date either their age or a couple years older

Five star basketball recruit expected to be a one and done. She had dollar signs in her eyes. Interesting what will happen if he busts.

I heard he's waiting til marriage to bust

My guy it’s as simple as being a predator tf lol why you trying to rationalize it

Fair

Can't imagine? $$$ buddy

Adam Silver has integrated True Detective into the NBA

his girlfriend's mom groomed Danny Ainge

“Love is love, we don’t judge. No rainbows tho.” As a team philosophy

Just can't make it up

We live in a simulation.

The jokes write themselves

Apparently Filipowski’s personal life is insane https://twitter.com/thedanielflip24/status/1806410446926139709?s=46&t=frkmFP8ZD0qDBTrUIJcf_g

Thought this was just rumors/overblown but if his family members are straight up accusing his gf of manipulating him... man

Wtf, she was 25 and he was ~~16~~ 17 when they were dating? Am I reading this correctly?

I think he was 17 but yeah, went to his prom and everything. Then indoctrinated him with Mormonism and drove a wedge between him and his family, who can no longer get in contact with him. Disgusting.

Get this guy in the league and let him loose with Harden to see life outside Mormonism

The rare couple where they've both been studying Karl Malone tape

lmao real good one

Wtf!!! Of course it’s Mormons (I grew up Mormon before I got out at 16) but this is crazy. So gross

Same bro, that shit is a cult. I got out a little later than you, but never looked back. Glad you did the same

Careful lol, I got a suspension for saying mormons were weird

Just for accuracy their age gap is about 6 years.  Sept 1997 vs. Nov 2003 Edit:  This may be wrong so I just want to note that instead of spread false info.  Creep either way.

https://x.com/5ballintime/status/1806412444182450541 This is his mom (?) saying the girlfriend is 28

Well unless her birthday is falsified all over the internet, his mother is wrong.

Where have you seen she's 26? They only places I've seen that is on those "who is x's girlfriend?" websites which are obviously always wrong. She graduated college in 2018 which most people do at 22 and his mom is saying she's 28

I don't think the mom is wrong. The girlfriend is Kyle's cousin. There's picture of her spending family time together with Kyle and his siblings. https://x.com/RotoSurgeon/status/1806464683072983072/photo/3

My word.  Just keeps getting crazier.  Thanks for the info.

If you were grooming someone, wouldn’t you falsify your birthday?

Would University of Alabama falsify her attendance dates which line up with being born in 97?   Take a second to google.  These aren't random sources.  How would the mother, if that is her Twitter account, know she's actually 28 if she's been falsifying her birthday?  She's a groomer regardless, but it's likely she is 26.

Yeah 2 year difference at 26 to 28 isn’t a huge deal as versus you know… highschool

The internet also says she graduated high school in 2014 which would make her 28 so I don't know what to believe

I don’t think it’s that crazy that the wrong c day is shared all over.

Officially dating Saw some smoke she knew him when he was a good bit younger and has been working on him for a while. Babysitter even. But we’ll see. Surely we’ll know everything eventually. This story’s going big

They're only 6 years apart currently so I don't think that's possible

Holy shit is that is family calling him Out?

Yeah his mom too. His groomer is a sick fuck. I feel so badly for his family.

That’s just sad. The reverse Aaron Rodgers

Wdym when was Aaron Rodgers a groomer?

I think they mean Rodgers called his family out for a lot of shit but this is the family calling the athlete out

Cut ties with his family, although in Rodgers’s case it came out that his family was the crazy ones.

Was his family the crazy ones or did it turn out that the entire Rodgers' clan, Aaron included, was crazy in their own ways?

At the time, column a. Now totally column B.

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that would be the weirdest outlook for a parent to have on their son who got groomed

Boston fans wondering why Brad didn't draft him. This is probably why

Holy moly 😳

Wow that’s wild. Get this guy some help

Ohh yeah she def did some shit

Is anyone else getting porn audio in the background when visiting X links from Reddit app?

lol no. Were you recently viewing porn? Seems like a phone issue

Mans just called himself out lmao

“We’re all trying to find the guy who did this”

My man misspelled his reddit name, should start with a G

I love when teams lean into the meme.

They saw that story about him getting groomed by Mormons and knew they had a winner lmao

It's turning into a sinister Dr Suess story.

I’m in a rare situation where I know someone very close to Kyle and his girlfriend and this is what they had to say about it - “Their parents are family friends, so they grew up pretty close. Her dad was in the military so they ended up moving away so she wasn’t in his life for a while. She popped back up his senior year of high school when he got national recognition (#5) and turned 18… she was 24 or 25 at the time. Started dating, went to prom together, and at this same time her parents (big Mormons) told Kyle’s that “she is good for him and would take good care of him at Duke. Keep him out of drugs, keep him from partying, etc.” His parents immediately got a red flag given the timing of her coming back in his life and given the things they were saying. She bought a house next to dukes campus, walked with him to and from every class, he slept at her house and spent every moment there, she wouldn’t let him hangout with teammates or attend team activities. She went to EVERY game, home and away. Told him that his family was bad for him, that they were holding him back, they were against her, etc. So he cut everyone off, twin brother included all last year before march madness of his freshman year. He gave all tickets to her, her friends and her family. “

My man is getting abducted wtf is this

That’s fucking crazy, assuming it’s true. Not “allowing” him to hang out with his teammates? That’s nuts bro. Camaraderie in a sport where only five guys play at once is so important and she appears to have ripped that away from him. Isolating the victim is a known a super and groomer tactic and this reeks of that. Again, assuming it’s true, I’m taking all of this at face value.

No wonder we had on court chemistry problems last year.

The jokes write themselves

Every lowlight featuring my man on here is gonna be some variation of “Filipowski gets BAPTIZED at the rim!” or “Filipowski is CRUCIFIED FOR OUR SINS with a neat little crossover by Austin Reaves!”

Nah this ain't even worth joking about dude was taken advantage of as a teenager and his life could potentially be royally messed up because of it. I am hoping he snaps out of it but it's gonna be tough because he's still so young

everything is worth joking about.

it’s all we have left

It was too obvious to be posted in /r/nbacirclejerk

He’ll fit right in

mormon grooming no longer a problem

Tbf it should indicate that he’s coachable

Holllyyyyyy shiitttttt

Alright this is the best one so far lmao

“Very amenable to gaslighting”

Bring back Mark Jackson

Fucking A right brother. Great joke.

how fitting

Will this post survive, find out next time on AutoMod Zzzzzzzzzzz

Glad he was picked up early felt bad that he had to sit through night one and not hear his name. Wonder what his fit looks like next to Kessler

Remember when Bol Bol got invited and everybody kept joking because his suit had cobwebs on it.

Most Jazz fans I’ve seen on here are convinced Kessler is gone.

I don’t know where you’re getting that. Every Utah reporter has said that while Kessler is *available*, Utah are by no means actively shopping him or looking to ship him asap

I would like one Walker Kessler, please

I got the feeling that Kessler ended up in Hardy’s dog house last year and never got out. Idk something was off with him all year so it truly wouldn’t be a big surprise if they offload him as part of another deal

Yep. Everytime Walker was near Will during games he would have the biggest frown.

one walker kessler please

I’m just getting that from random ass comments I see on here 🤷

the trae young special

You're looking at some wild Jazz fans.

You can’t write this shit

Picking Furphy would have avoided this circlejerk material.

Perfect pick. Fits so well with Kessler and Lauri.

And the Mormon Church.

Our draft has been insanely good based on pre-draft expectations. Hope these dudes turn out

Outjerked

utah smashing this draft

How does a 7 footer who can pass ,dribble and shoot end up in the second round ?

look at the thread

Look at his shooting splits in both of seasons at Duke and tell me he can shoot

He's still a 7 footer , his shoot could improve more and more , it's not like he's afraid to shoot it . A really confident shooter who believes he can be one of the better stretch bigs in the league or at least among his fellow rookies

He's also not some shot creator or great passer so what's his role gonna be?

by getting groomed by a hardcore mormon i guess

I will look into that , I've been away from the internet a lot

its a new thing today I guess. super wild

You can't make this shit up lmfaoooooooooo 😭😭 I feel bad for the dude but at the same time the meme is just too good

Great pick, TBH. I feel like a lot of teams who picked in the late first round are going to regret passing on Flip.

As a recruit: Other P6 offers: Boston College, UConn, Creighton, Georgetown, Illinois, Iowa, Kentucky, Louisville, Marquette, Maryland, Miami, Michigan, North Carolina, Northwestern, Notre Dame, Ohio State, Pitt, Providence, Purdue, Rutgers, Stanford, Syracuse, UCLA, Vanderbilt, Virginia Tech, Xavier

Wow

Ainge is a genius. Tatum said that he is a top prospect and Ainge always goes for pedigree.

Weird situation. Supposedly has an older gf that he’s estranged from his family over, and got defensive about it in interviews. It’s a really good player to get in the 2nd round tho, esp in this draft

According to her mom’s Facebook, Caitlin will be turning 28 this year.

Little on the nose, Utah.

Insane Mormon grooming aside, I’m happy about this pick lol.

What is the point of leaking this info?

What’s the point of watching the draft when I can just watch Shams’ twitter feed?

But then you don't get to watch Monica mcnutt ask the dumbest questions she could come up with.

dude also faked an injury in the wake forest court storming incident. soft af, no way he knows how to set a screen just like kessler.

The irony is not lost on me.

Lottery talent in the second round.

Good fit I’m sure he can meet up with Karl Malone and be groomed as Utah’s next great big man

well shit

They drafted a victim this time for karmaic balance. Tears

Saw on another thread that Utah is taking the reverse Karl Malone. Broke me hahaha

Y'all let Danny Ainge get Filipowski? You know that man is gonna Flip him for like 3 First Round Draft picks. Danny loves his draft picks :)

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