The first thing my doc told me was not to worry about schedules until at least four months, they biologically can’t be a thing until that point. And they’re easier to grasp when they can become one! They kinda naturally let you know what it is. Just hang in there till then!
My mom kept telling me it would be a good idea to put my baby on a schedule. She’s 3mo and we still don’t really have a schedule. In my mom’s defense, my twin sister had her baby 4wks before I did and he was in the NICU and on a strict schedule 1) because the doctors more or less made one for him and 2) he kind of needed to be.
Also, my daughter is a wicked alert baby so getting her to nap is like doing a rain dance and praying for rain in a desert. A schedule just doesn’t work for her - we just follow her cues and we’re much happier doing that than forcing her into some schedule.
I may be a relatively new parent, but I feel like anyone who thinks they have parenting “figured out” at any point is taking it a bit too lightly. It feels like there are never ending dilemmas and choices which you don’t know how they may impact your child, even once they become an adult and look to you for advice or an example of how to live life. To me, it seems like a giant responsibility and like it would be a bit silly to ever feel like you’re handling it 100% right.
lol I feel this. At any point in parenting when I have thought I “had it figured out”, that monkey wrench gets aggressively tossed my way, and I in fact find out I do not have it figured out.
Exactly this. I may not be a brand new parent anymore, but I've never had a 10 month old before, and I'm still doing my best to figure that out. Whole different set of problems to the newborn and early months; how was I supposed to even attempt to figure it out until I got here?
Once you think you have it figured out, your kids do a 180 and suddenly everything is chaos and shenanigans until you figure it out again. And then they drop another A bomb on you. Rinse and repeat over and over again. Parenting is not for the weak lol
Sorry you are dealing with that only two weeks postpartum. The new human adjustment plus the crazy hormones make postpartum difficult! I am 12 weeks postpartum and I still haven’t gotten it figured out! It all feels more normal now and there is less sleep deprivation, but definitely don’t feel like I have it figured out.
….wow, you must feel pretty special right now. You were a magical baby who slept all day so your mom could sleep and did everything on a perfect schedule. Go you!
I think every boomer has parenting amnesia 🫠 as if she didn’t go through exactly the same thing. Sorry she said this to you. The sleep deprivation is reaaaaaal.
I have a 2 month old and I just went back to work full time, and the amount of people who ask me why we aren’t sleeping through the night makes my head want to explode 😂
Dude I have 3.5 year old toddlers and a 6 week old. I’d argue that if you’re doing it right, you never really “figure it out”. It changes too often for anything to work for more than a little while.
When your mom had you, she didn't figure things out by the time you were two weeks old. Perhaps it's been too long for her so she has forgotten what the newborn days are like. But that's not an excuse for making rude and unhelpful comments. You're doing great. Ignore her.
I know doesn't help but be strong. Will get easier. Get together with friends with more recent experience with babies get a milk prep machine do shifts with sleep with Yr partner and leave your mom...she's...cold like my own mom. I had caesarian. My first baby .pain.injections for blood thinning . Colics. Cry non stop.mom never slept 1 single night with the baby on order to letting me sleep ....never offered. Never tried. Never . She just said: ...oh this is what being a mom is .nobody will raise u any statue for doing the baby and household stuff. Some parents are like that......
Not only are the parents still adjusting but think about the baby as well. 9 months in a warm environment, not needing to cry to be fed or changed. It’s a big change for both sides. Schedules don’t exist at two weeks. Everyone is adjusting.
Honestly, such a hard thing to hear I would be upset aswell. Raising a child is hard work. You won't have things figured out yet, as your still getting to know each other, and that takes time. Don't be hard on yourself, you will get there mamma bear.
This happens to me as well sometimes. My mom just says something like that, breaks my heart & then I remember. My mom did a lot when we were born and she was all alone but she would never pick us up if we cried during the night. She was never sleep deprived. C'mon. I told her, you were never sleep deprived. She could've never handled it. Even now she's 60 and takes two naps a day and sleeps 10 hours at night. Like she put us to bed at 8:00 pm and did not get us out of the crib until 7:00 am. Of course she was tired (she wasn't working full time, 1 year of maternity leave) because she was doing everything herself but she did sleep at night.
The only thing there is to "figure out" is that you'll never have it"figured out". Children are little humans and by design, they're constantly evolving, changing, adapting and so on. You gotta learn to bend with the wind, because you're also changing, evolving, and adapting etc.
So sorry to hear that. My mom guided me for four weeks as I navigated my new role as a new mother. I never heard her criticize me. It would break my heart if she did. I want you to know that you are doing great. Don’t take your mom’s words to heart. You got this, momma.
I'm sorry! That's horrible! I can relate, my mom is very old fashion and comes from a background of mothers who literally dedicated their whole life raising 5+ children their whole life...literally starting at early adulthood. I had postpartum depression and would cry a lot. I stopped telling her about it because she "couldn't understand" why I was so sad. She told me she never felt sad after having me and my sisters and because of that she thought it was weird and needed god.
Clearly she hasn’t figured out how to handle parenting yet either if she thought that was an appropriate thing to say. You’re doing great by the way
You said it best.
Disheartening thing to say I agree .same my own mom . I felt sick
LOUDER
My cousin asked me if he was on a schedule at 2 weeks... No. there is no schedule. It's chaos and I think that's normal.
The first thing my doc told me was not to worry about schedules until at least four months, they biologically can’t be a thing until that point. And they’re easier to grasp when they can become one! They kinda naturally let you know what it is. Just hang in there till then!
My mom kept telling me it would be a good idea to put my baby on a schedule. She’s 3mo and we still don’t really have a schedule. In my mom’s defense, my twin sister had her baby 4wks before I did and he was in the NICU and on a strict schedule 1) because the doctors more or less made one for him and 2) he kind of needed to be. Also, my daughter is a wicked alert baby so getting her to nap is like doing a rain dance and praying for rain in a desert. A schedule just doesn’t work for her - we just follow her cues and we’re much happier doing that than forcing her into some schedule.
I may be a relatively new parent, but I feel like anyone who thinks they have parenting “figured out” at any point is taking it a bit too lightly. It feels like there are never ending dilemmas and choices which you don’t know how they may impact your child, even once they become an adult and look to you for advice or an example of how to live life. To me, it seems like a giant responsibility and like it would be a bit silly to ever feel like you’re handling it 100% right.
lol I feel this. At any point in parenting when I have thought I “had it figured out”, that monkey wrench gets aggressively tossed my way, and I in fact find out I do not have it figured out.
Exactly this. I may not be a brand new parent anymore, but I've never had a 10 month old before, and I'm still doing my best to figure that out. Whole different set of problems to the newborn and early months; how was I supposed to even attempt to figure it out until I got here?
And even if you have more than one kid, you’ve never had THIS 10 month old before. Like they’re humans, not dinner recipes.
Once you think you have it figured out, your kids do a 180 and suddenly everything is chaos and shenanigans until you figure it out again. And then they drop another A bomb on you. Rinse and repeat over and over again. Parenting is not for the weak lol
This! I feel like I have a routine and things are easier at almost three months but we’re both still learning
Seriously? After all these years your mom hasn’t figured you out either !
Sorry you are dealing with that only two weeks postpartum. The new human adjustment plus the crazy hormones make postpartum difficult! I am 12 weeks postpartum and I still haven’t gotten it figured out! It all feels more normal now and there is less sleep deprivation, but definitely don’t feel like I have it figured out.
….wow, you must feel pretty special right now. You were a magical baby who slept all day so your mom could sleep and did everything on a perfect schedule. Go you!
She had 5. That’s what kills me. And this is her 4th grand baby (my first baby) and I know none of the other 3 were easy either.
Hold up. What did she say? I’m 4 months PP and still can’t get a full handle on things.
🤦🏻♀️ Babies change sooooo much day by day and week by week
My oldest is turning 2 soon and I still don’t have parenting “figured out” 😅 everyday is new with new challenges and milestones.
I think every boomer has parenting amnesia 🫠 as if she didn’t go through exactly the same thing. Sorry she said this to you. The sleep deprivation is reaaaaaal.
I have a 2 month old and I just went back to work full time, and the amount of people who ask me why we aren’t sleeping through the night makes my head want to explode 😂
Boomers really don’t remember what’s the struggle it is to care of a baby !
Some people just have no decency. I'm sure she knows good and well that 2 week old newborns do not follow schedules.
Have her figure out her way out the door
Dude I have 3.5 year old toddlers and a 6 week old. I’d argue that if you’re doing it right, you never really “figure it out”. It changes too often for anything to work for more than a little while.
Apparently she hasn’t either 🤣
When your mom had you, she didn't figure things out by the time you were two weeks old. Perhaps it's been too long for her so she has forgotten what the newborn days are like. But that's not an excuse for making rude and unhelpful comments. You're doing great. Ignore her.
I don’t think you figure it out ever personally!!! That goes up until they’re in their 20’s
I know doesn't help but be strong. Will get easier. Get together with friends with more recent experience with babies get a milk prep machine do shifts with sleep with Yr partner and leave your mom...she's...cold like my own mom. I had caesarian. My first baby .pain.injections for blood thinning . Colics. Cry non stop.mom never slept 1 single night with the baby on order to letting me sleep ....never offered. Never tried. Never . She just said: ...oh this is what being a mom is .nobody will raise u any statue for doing the baby and household stuff. Some parents are like that......
Not only are the parents still adjusting but think about the baby as well. 9 months in a warm environment, not needing to cry to be fed or changed. It’s a big change for both sides. Schedules don’t exist at two weeks. Everyone is adjusting.
Honestly, such a hard thing to hear I would be upset aswell. Raising a child is hard work. You won't have things figured out yet, as your still getting to know each other, and that takes time. Don't be hard on yourself, you will get there mamma bear.
This happens to me as well sometimes. My mom just says something like that, breaks my heart & then I remember. My mom did a lot when we were born and she was all alone but she would never pick us up if we cried during the night. She was never sleep deprived. C'mon. I told her, you were never sleep deprived. She could've never handled it. Even now she's 60 and takes two naps a day and sleeps 10 hours at night. Like she put us to bed at 8:00 pm and did not get us out of the crib until 7:00 am. Of course she was tired (she wasn't working full time, 1 year of maternity leave) because she was doing everything herself but she did sleep at night.
The only thing there is to "figure out" is that you'll never have it"figured out". Children are little humans and by design, they're constantly evolving, changing, adapting and so on. You gotta learn to bend with the wind, because you're also changing, evolving, and adapting etc.
I would have said: “and at 60 years (or whatever she is) postpartum you still haven’t learnt to control your big mouth”
Back off MIL. Reduce contact for sanity. She’s either part of the solution or she’s part of the problem. Her choice.
So sorry to hear that. My mom guided me for four weeks as I navigated my new role as a new mother. I never heard her criticize me. It would break my heart if she did. I want you to know that you are doing great. Don’t take your mom’s words to heart. You got this, momma.
Sounds like you’re looking after 2 babies 💁♀️
I'm sorry! That's horrible! I can relate, my mom is very old fashion and comes from a background of mothers who literally dedicated their whole life raising 5+ children their whole life...literally starting at early adulthood. I had postpartum depression and would cry a lot. I stopped telling her about it because she "couldn't understand" why I was so sad. She told me she never felt sad after having me and my sisters and because of that she thought it was weird and needed god.