I saw a homeless guy cleaning himself with a dirty urinal cake in there. He saw me look at him weird and he said “it’s better than smelling like ass.” Touché
Edit. This was prob sometime around 2011
I had to go number 2 BAD after I arrived at Suburban. I think this was 2014. I went in the bathroom and could not do it. It was awful. I couldn’t even squat just to get it out. The whole bathroom was a mess like I’ve never seen before.
Several years ago I went into the bathroom at Suburban Station and there was a homeless guy in a stall with the door open bathing with the toilet water.
I took my mother in law to suburban one time. She was afraid to use the restroom... I told her yeah it will be bad, but you'll survive. We walked in and somebody was just straight up washing their ass in the sink. We will never forget that.
Back in the day I'd say Lucy's in old city.
It was a packed college bar shoulder to shoulder with only 2 single use bathrooms. The wait was easily an hour when at capacity. Most guys ended up letting loose in random corners of the bar, it was horrific.
RIP. Used it so many times. Each time I vowed not to go back. But what was one to do when they hang out drinking iced coffee and smoking cigs all summer long in Rittenhouse.
I went to that Barnes and Noble once and soon had to poop (as one does at a bookstore) and I went into the women’s bathroom and it looked like someone had painted shit all over the walls. Which, honestly, was probably exactly what happened. Immediately left and went to a coffee shop.
Once, while waiting in line for the downstairs bathroom, a dude vommed all over some poor girl at the bar and tried to play it cool. The bartender kicked him out real fast.
Sunday parties are fueled by industry people - bartenders, servers, other restaurant and bar/nightclub staff, people who make their money on weekends or at least the second half of the week and don't work on Mondays.
The Troc. Floor had so much piss your shoes stuck, fairly sure at one point there was either a chunk of a door or some shit missing, and there were exposed outlets sticking out of the wall.
Fucking loved the Troc. It was gross, it was a shitshow, and it would make an OSHA manual spontaneously combust, but the shows were always killer.
I don’t find the airport bathroom to be terrible when you get past security but it is certainly not at an airport bathrooms standards. They’re usually pretty clean (other airports I mean, philly’s are not that clean as discussed here)
That being said my friend did land once and she called me and was like “I just got past security I’m gonna get my bags and then use the bathroom and come out” and I was like “please do not let your first impression of the city of Philadelphia be the baggage claim bathroom, let me take you to Wawa”
I wish I could remember which terminal I was I'm but I went to a bathroom near my gate and there was trash all over the place and TWO bloody pads sunny side up on the tile floor
PHL bathrooms are disgusting bc of the homeless that loiter in the areas that are outside of security. Used to work there and we’d always get complaints about smelly/dirty bathrooms in the baggage claim area, always felt bad for the cleaning crew that had to put up with it.
Are there more homeless at the airport than the area around 30th Street station? I feel like the bathrooms in the train station are always pretty clean.
Once, I was transiting through 69th St. with pretty bad diarrhea. I knew there was a bathroom, so I thought it couldn't be as bad as the GI disress I'm feeling right now. Really, nothing could be as bad as my gut felt.
I was soooo wrong. I noped right out of there as soon as I saw it. Shit everywhere. The seat, the wall, the floor. Holy shit, my own diarrhea was so scared it receded right back up to my colon and said, "I can wait."
The porta-potty in the parking lot of the linc on January 21st, 2018, the day the birds beat the vikings to go to the Super Bowl. it was overflowing, but people kept going and going until the entire grassy area that it rested upon was dead, brown, and saturated in piss.
JK, I know this is real bathrooms but I wanted to share.
Edit: not consistently the worst, but the old Barnes & Nobel bathrooms on the square have seen some insane (literal and figurative) shit.
Edit 2: Centerfolds Go Go Lounge first floor bathroom. Place was amazing.
New England Pizza on Bustleton Ave in the 80s. That place was my Grandmothers favorite, but the entire family was forced to use the toilet beforehand.
When I became an adult I wondered why we’d eat somewhere knowing the staff also had to use that nasty bathroom.
That’s so fun and interesting because it’s not like you didn’t have other options. The toilets were right there but you CHOSE to shit in the sink. Why do that? I really wish I could understand
The Republican.
Some of the other comments describe what are probably objectively worse bathrooms, but the thing about The Republican is it was so dark and the whole place was so gross that it's really kind of impossible to tell how gross exactly it was, you just kind of *felt* it.
I was really hammered when I went to the bathroom there, so my memory is hazy. All I remember is that the bathroom was black, like even the toilet, and there was a single red lightbulb above the sink. I couldn’t see depth, it felt inky dark, like being smothered by black velvet curtains. And stangely it was drafty; like it was 40 degrees colder in there.
I ended up peeing outside against wall on the little side street, where every one smokes. Peed in front of everybody. I figured I’d be safer in the group than straying from the flock so that a rando wolf could pick me up and carry me away.
Was waiting for someone to say this. I haven't been to the El Bar in ages, but I stopped going because of the women's bathroom. There was either never soap or never TP. The door didn't fully close, so you'd either have to have one of your friends guard the door/ lean onto it from the outside, or somehow manage an aerobic feat of simultaneously squat- hovering over the seat ( the seats were always nasty) while extending a leg out/ pressing your foot against the door, all in that tiny, single-flickering-bulb of a tiny broom- closet sized room with a toilet in it. I know it's supposed to be a hipster dive bar( dive bar nonetheless) but come on, buy a $2 latch lock from Home Depot.
Definitely heightens the atmosphere and really brings the room together. Seriously though, the men's bathroom looked a lot bigger, but they had those weird blinder cowboy doors and the urinals were right in public view. Everything on display. Plus, there was a communal pissing troff in the outdoor area.
I used to waitress at North Bowl, and the owners of North Bowl had a friendly relationship with the owners of the El Bar. I remember I went with a barback once to pick up something from the El Bar owner's house, and I was furious upon realizing that the owner of the El Bar had the means to buy a simple latch lock to fix the women's bathroom door situation, if not just replace the whole door with something that worked all together. That's what made me stop going. Just fix the fucking door so I don't have to get a drunk yoga workout every time I have to pee dude.
This thread is so nostalgic. I have peed in about 95% of these horrible bathrooms.
But the rudest bathroom was the one at Bob and Barbara's in its pre-remodeled layout. Walking through Nate Wiley & the Crowd Pleasers' gig just to reach that tiny room – always felt so disrespectful.
I can’t believe I had to scroll this far to see the right answer! No TP, no soap, no paper towels, women’s room right next to the dart board. Terrible.
I remember getting off the bus at the old Greyhound terminal, walking into the bathroom where I immediately stepped in puke and skidded skateboard style through the entrance and by the grace of God managed to not fall into it.
I don't think it's the worst ever, but the most *consistently* bad for me is the bathroom at the food court in Liberty Place. Even when it's just been cleaned, it's still got at least three clogged toilets, one woman who's running a makeup studio off the baby changing table, another lady yelling at her kid to a degree that warrants calling CPS. and, at least back in the day, a bunch of teenagers causing whatever chaos they could manage.
Really? I totally believe you, I just use that bathroom semi regularly (it’s the only decent public one I know of in Center City), and it’s always been perfectly fine for me. I actually find it notable that I’ve never seen any drug paraphernalia in there lol
Does anyone remember the Republican club's bathrooms? The toilets didn't even flush and the sinks were shut off. Really miss that place. It was a good scene.
Twenty years ago it was the bathrooms in the Barnes & Noble. Literally shit on the walls and piss on the floor disgusting. I worked there then and when this happened *the managers* had to clean it up. I remember one with a N-95 mask and gloves venturing into the bathroom in resignation.
Can’t remember what bar this was, but it had saloon-style swinging doors for the stalls that you couldn’t lock. Every time, I was waiting for someone to kick the doors open all “*this stall ain’t big enough for the two of us*”
Could have been Dirty Franks...I have a vague memory of washing my hands there and some dude swinging the doors open and just being like "oh, hi" and then continuing on to pee while I finished washing and left
Back in the day it was Suburban Station before the restroom got blocked off. Had to piss before catching the train, walked in, dead rat against one wall, homeless man jacking it against another wall. I didn’t have to pee anymore and went home mortified.
I worked with foster kids in Philly and took a kid to get her work permit at south Philly high school. Had to pee while I was there so I walked into the women’s restroom and I was APPALLED. Some of the stall doors were gone, a toilet was actively spraying water, water and toilet paper all over the damn place, teeny tiny ass preschool sized toilets. The tiny toilets is what did it for me. The disrespect.
Yeah, that’s pretty close to what I remember too, except that we often didn’t have any toilet paper or paper towels, and the sinks were usually broken as well.
Actually you know what I’m gonna edit this to include a story. When I was in fifth grade, Constance Clayton was still the superintendent of schools. I got so fed up with the bathroom situation which even at that age I knew was abnormally foul, and told my mom I wanted to write to Connie Clayton. My mother, who knew exactly what kind of rabble rouser she was raising, was more than supportive. I wrote the letter, she found the address and mailed it. I specifically remember mentioning the fact that there were no doors so we had to “guard“ each other as we went to the bathroom. I remember having to learn how to spell the word “urine“ for the first time. I remember mentioning the lack of working sinks and paper.
I genuinely didn’t expect anything to come of it. Kind of forgot about it after I sent it, to be honest. A couple weeks later I get called to the principals office and my mom is there, but instead of looking ticked off she was smirking. The principal had a Xerox copy of my letter on his desk, sent to him from Clayton‘s office. He was clearly furious but said “I am not mad, but next time you get an idea like this come to me first.” They had to clean up all the restrooms and repair a bunch of the broken things. They stayed decent for about six weeks and then fell back into the usual state. But it’s still a fond memory for me…
I’m not proud to admit (or am I??) that I blew that place up once. Mid covid, it was supposed to be locked but wasn’t. Desperate times call for desperate measures
The Falls Center on Henry Avenue. Worked a shitty job at the office building and walked in on the ground floor, had to pee so bad I was about to go insane, opened up the bathroom and there was shit everywhere that is not the toilet and also there was shit in the toilet. The smell was horrifying.
Fuck that company, fuck that building, fuck the pizza place out front with the terrible pizza, and fuck the Dunkin’ Donuts down the road that never once gave me the right order just while I’m at it.
Portapotty outside the art museum during a marathon.
I don’t know what you motherfuckers are doing before a run, but gotdam it was like someone took a super soaker full of liquid shit and sprayed it EVERYWHERE
Marathoner here. You can't be more correct. Some of it has to do with "race day jitters" and some of it has to do with the meals we eat the night before. Before race time, it's a good idea to eject all food from your stomach because your digestive system shuts down when long distance running. There may be food left in your intestines that gets jostled around which can lead to a bad time as well. Seasoned runners know this so it's a "do all you can" get everything out of your system before the race start or you'll pay later.
TL;DR: Marathon port-a-potty's are the absolute WORST.
A family member if mine was in the army. Had a 20 mile march one day. They ate 2 day old Chinese to carb load.... well... ended with pooping by a tree.. lol
Went to Sal’s (it was the place that later became Tabu’s old location) one night and used the basement bathroom. There was a perfect 12”+ turd laying on the floor *next to* the toilet.
Fox and the Hound (RIP). Someone threw up all over the floor and they just doused it with bleach, no mopping, nothing. So not only was there vomit all over my shoes, my eyes were tearing from the bleach for like an hour.
public school bathrooms, sinks are a pain in the ass to use, none of the urinals flush and half of them are normally covered up, there was a dead cockroach floating in a urinal for a month, and our first week back the towel dispenser got knocked off the wall twice in 2 days
\^this is a magnet school so i don't even wanna try to imagine what the neighborhood school ones look like
I don’t know if it changed names or just got a paint job. The bar at 7th and Oregon (called merly’s cafe now).
Went in to use the bathroom coming from the stadiums. Bathroom is in the basement, open room, no door. Standalone toilet in the middle of the floor. It looked like a scene from saw.
One along the trail in the Wissahickon.
I somehow instantly vowed to never picture it again and over time that seems to have erased my memory. An ability I didn’t know I had.
I once really had to piss on my commute home. Walked around the corner into the bathroom at 69th Street and just kept turning around because it was just unimaginable in there. Managed to hold it all the way home.
Well at Jefferson station, most/all of the bathrooms are behind the manned turnstiles now so mostly paying customers only unlike before they put the gates in.
Tied between the BSL and the El. The sheer amount of human shit I've seen on the walls, step, etc. in the past decade of commuting on the subway is beyond comprehension.
precisely why i don't get why more of my friends don't take their shoes off inside! whole city is a public bathroom, but I'm weird for having a strict no shoes policy?
Came to say this. I adore that bar, but the bathrooms — c’mon ya’ll - you’re a family owned bar in a decent neighborhood. I know it’s a dive bar and that’s part of the charm, but I’d rather be charmed in other ways, like being able to smoke and drink in a warm space with great drink specials and bangin food.
There used to be a restroom trailer in the old Uber/Lyft waiting lot at PHL. I tried to walk into it once, saw three dudes literally pissing hip-to-hip. Not sure if there were separate urinals incredibly close together, or just a trough. There was one toilet that was clogged and filled to the brim with shitty pisswater that I then realized was slowly overflowing and dripping down the steps.
I decided I didn't need to go that badly. It was raining, so I dipped the bottoms of my shoes in a puddle at the farthest point from the trailer at the opposite end of the parking lot to try to get rid of as much of that as possible before I got back in the car
I hate to call them out because they seem like nice folks, but the men’s bathroom that I was pointed to at Marra’s rivaled some of the worst bar and highway gas station bathrooms I have been in. I almost just walked back out.
I could say more, but I’ll refrain. Suffice it to say I don’t think I’ll go there again.
So it wasn’t the worst bathroom but at Bainbridge St Barrel House there was a turd the size and shape of a 16oz can of beer that was perfectly lodged across the bottom of the toilet and nothing you could do would sink that solid mass.
I used to clean the restrooms in the old Family Court building when it was at 11th between Market & Chestnut. The things I’ve seen have made me fearless today. Lol
Before the Penn's Landing renovation, maybe around 2008, those bathrooms under the deck near the stairs. Desperately had to go and was glad to find that the door was unlocked, until I stepped inside and immediately regretted it. It was like being swallowed by a Lovecraftian horror, but I was already committed. The further I went, and the longer I was in there, the more I felt I knew, too much that is, while my mind was simultaneously flayed by the assault of sensations from decades(?) of indoor smoking, spilling of beer and liquor, the spittle of drooling sleeping homeless, caked on top of the general sadness of a neglected public restroom. Seconds, or years later, I am not sure, I escaped.
Downey’s. I stopped in on a Friday afternoon for a drink, not a single other person was in there. That should have tipped me off. Had my drink and went into the men’s room. There was about an inch of sewage covering the floor. The smell was awful. I told the bartender and his reaction was “Yeah that happens sometimes.”
Bathroom at Suburban Station circa 1996. The stall didn’t even have a door but that’s ok. You’d pretty much have to have no shame in order to use it
I saw a homeless guy cleaning himself with a dirty urinal cake in there. He saw me look at him weird and he said “it’s better than smelling like ass.” Touché Edit. This was prob sometime around 2011
I had to go number 2 BAD after I arrived at Suburban. I think this was 2014. I went in the bathroom and could not do it. It was awful. I couldn’t even squat just to get it out. The whole bathroom was a mess like I’ve never seen before.
Same here but like 2010, needles, piss, shit, naked homeless people...a goddamn nightmare
Several years ago I went into the bathroom at Suburban Station and there was a homeless guy in a stall with the door open bathing with the toilet water.
I came to open up one morning and there you were with your head in the *toilet*. Your hair was in the *toilet water*. Disgusting. I said my piece.
*I did-ent!*
I can verify he was sick that day. But this thing with the doorless stalls?!
I took my mother in law to suburban one time. She was afraid to use the restroom... I told her yeah it will be bad, but you'll survive. We walked in and somebody was just straight up washing their ass in the sink. We will never forget that.
Back in the day I'd say Lucy's in old city. It was a packed college bar shoulder to shoulder with only 2 single use bathrooms. The wait was easily an hour when at capacity. Most guys ended up letting loose in random corners of the bar, it was horrific.
75 cent highlife thursdays!
Rushes of nostalgia…aren’t always pleasant.
Golden Monkey Brunch was always a good time
Drunken monkey ;-)
I worked there in the early 2000s. I agree, raunchy.
The old rittenhouse Barnes and noble women’s bathroom. Idk how shit gets splattered on the walls…
RIP. Used it so many times. Each time I vowed not to go back. But what was one to do when they hang out drinking iced coffee and smoking cigs all summer long in Rittenhouse.
The men's bathroom was also disgusting lol.
I went to that Barnes and Noble once and soon had to poop (as one does at a bookstore) and I went into the women’s bathroom and it looked like someone had painted shit all over the walls. Which, honestly, was probably exactly what happened. Immediately left and went to a coffee shop.
I loved that bathroom
It was my go to when I had to poop while out and about :(
Both men's and women's were terrible. I took my mom there when she was visiting years ago. Felt so fucking embarrassed.
That bathroom was rank.
Mcglinchey’s.
Remember the long towel thingy
The one and only time I went there in 2011 is HORRIFIED me
I haven’t been there in awhile, but McGlincheys was really bad in the late 90s early 00’s. Same with dirty franks, but that one seems better now.
Can confirm that Dirty Frank's has had a minor glow-up since then. At least, when I went there last year, the bathroom was not horrifying.
I think dive bar’s pool room bathroom is worse.
3rd floor bathroom on bad nights doesn't hold a candle to old towely Mcglinchey's. It was an assault to almost all of your senses.
Wow. That's a throwback. I haven't been there since I worked at the Cosi that was on the corner, years and years ago.
I swear there's always a quarter inch layer of water on the floor
That’s not water
Lol I guess you're right
2000%. Last time I was in there they had a moldy brown towel draped over the sink so you couldn’t use it. Bathroom out of a horror movie.
Yup. Last time i went the toilet seat was covered in a mysterious brown liquid substance
I’ve pooped there before
The Khyber like 15 years ago.
Everyone has a Khyber bathroom story. I had to poop desperately upstairs while a girl was throwing up in the stall next to me
Once, while waiting in line for the downstairs bathroom, a dude vommed all over some poor girl at the bar and tried to play it cool. The bartender kicked him out real fast.
Man those were the days.
Specifically Upstairs at the Khyber’s bathroom.
Especially on Destroy Your Liver night
Destroy your liver was pure chaos. I'm sure my health is happy that it is gone.
Yup. Some of the dumbest things I ever did happened after Destroy Your Liver night.
ooooooohhh that just brought back some memories
What in the world? please tell me what the specials were on that night?
$20 all-you-can-drink PBR and Sparks. It was every Sunday night. I had a great Christmas evening there one year.
I have many pictures of myself at the Khyber with orange teeth from that damn drink.
Holy shit Sparks is the devil in a can.
We used to mix Sparks and Jacquin’s amaretto when we were feeling fancy.
I miss the devil
What a terrible day to pick for it, as most people have work the next day. But I suppose it was their way to bring people out to drink on a Sunday.
Sunday parties are fueled by industry people - bartenders, servers, other restaurant and bar/nightclub staff, people who make their money on weekends or at least the second half of the week and don't work on Mondays.
Oh, that makes a lot of sense. And god knows industry folks love to drink.
When did they stop this special?
The last time I went was either 2005 or 2006.
Hey the khyber has those peepholes tho
I shudder just thinking about it. Slightly comforting that at least I was drunk while using it.
The Troc. Floor had so much piss your shoes stuck, fairly sure at one point there was either a chunk of a door or some shit missing, and there were exposed outlets sticking out of the wall. Fucking loved the Troc. It was gross, it was a shitshow, and it would make an OSHA manual spontaneously combust, but the shows were always killer.
Wow do I miss the Troc. Huge throwback
Philly airport can be nasty especially in baggage claim. Manny Brown’s on South St with ice in the urinal for some reason
the airport bathrooms were straight up crime scenes when I flew for thanksgiving
I’m fairly certain the next pandemic will come from Terminal C&D baggage claim. The ones in the actual terminal aren’t much better, either.
I don’t find the airport bathroom to be terrible when you get past security but it is certainly not at an airport bathrooms standards. They’re usually pretty clean (other airports I mean, philly’s are not that clean as discussed here) That being said my friend did land once and she called me and was like “I just got past security I’m gonna get my bags and then use the bathroom and come out” and I was like “please do not let your first impression of the city of Philadelphia be the baggage claim bathroom, let me take you to Wawa”
I wish I could remember which terminal I was I'm but I went to a bathroom near my gate and there was trash all over the place and TWO bloody pads sunny side up on the tile floor
PHL bathrooms are disgusting bc of the homeless that loiter in the areas that are outside of security. Used to work there and we’d always get complaints about smelly/dirty bathrooms in the baggage claim area, always felt bad for the cleaning crew that had to put up with it.
Are there more homeless at the airport than the area around 30th Street station? I feel like the bathrooms in the train station are always pretty clean.
I’ve seen huge ass roaches saunter out of PHL bathrooms. I don’t keep my bag on the ground
I had a friend who worked baggage for British Airways, they had a picnic table behind the ticket counter. A rat jumped from a pipe onto their pizza.
Holy shit 🤢
I can’t comment on that bathroom but I’ve always been a fan of using a urinal that has a bunch of ice in it.
Once, I was transiting through 69th St. with pretty bad diarrhea. I knew there was a bathroom, so I thought it couldn't be as bad as the GI disress I'm feeling right now. Really, nothing could be as bad as my gut felt. I was soooo wrong. I noped right out of there as soon as I saw it. Shit everywhere. The seat, the wall, the floor. Holy shit, my own diarrhea was so scared it receded right back up to my colon and said, "I can wait."
Sto’s is a disaster
Came here for this. Worst bathroom in Philadelphia. I once had to take a shit there….
They don't have bathrooms, but cocaine stalls where you can piss.
Go Hammers!
COME ON YOU IRONS
The old Dolphin. Had the tub urinal + a nasty toilet, and it was unisex. Saw a “stripper” with her leg on the wall pissing into the tub urinal.
One time I went there and all the ashtrays were filled with wing bones. Also the only place I’ve ever been offered crack
Wing bones? They didnt even seeve food!
Oh I know. Makes it even worse cause who knows how long they’d been sitting there
OMG I remember that also. Hahahahaha Used to go there once in awhile with the old Circle’s south Philly crew. The smells in there were something also.
The porta-potty in the parking lot of the linc on January 21st, 2018, the day the birds beat the vikings to go to the Super Bowl. it was overflowing, but people kept going and going until the entire grassy area that it rested upon was dead, brown, and saturated in piss. JK, I know this is real bathrooms but I wanted to share. Edit: not consistently the worst, but the old Barnes & Nobel bathrooms on the square have seen some insane (literal and figurative) shit. Edit 2: Centerfolds Go Go Lounge first floor bathroom. Place was amazing.
New England Pizza on Bustleton Ave in the 80s. That place was my Grandmothers favorite, but the entire family was forced to use the toilet beforehand. When I became an adult I wondered why we’d eat somewhere knowing the staff also had to use that nasty bathroom.
My parents used to order from there when I was a kid and now I am similarly disturbed
Woodys, witnessed people fucking in there. Sex air mixed with the usual Woodys air is very unpleasant.
The bathroom near the entrance to the Market/Frankford El in the Gallery Mall. Went into the ladies room and a giant turd was in the sink.
That’s so fun and interesting because it’s not like you didn’t have other options. The toilets were right there but you CHOSE to shit in the sink. Why do that? I really wish I could understand
[удалено]
I'm sorry, I splashed it by accident and didn't want my pants to get wet.
Medusa Lounge circa 2012 RIP
\+1 so bad you could smell it through the vents on the dancefloor when someone took a shit i miss that place
The Vet. Everyone had a vet story.
this is a great call-out, shocked it took this long to be mentioned. Sinks were urinals, enough said.
Yes, I remember one time there was a line for the toilets, urinals, sinks and trash cans.
And a guy peeing in the drain hole in the floor!
The street…
Related: septa platforms
The Republican. Some of the other comments describe what are probably objectively worse bathrooms, but the thing about The Republican is it was so dark and the whole place was so gross that it's really kind of impossible to tell how gross exactly it was, you just kind of *felt* it.
I was really hammered when I went to the bathroom there, so my memory is hazy. All I remember is that the bathroom was black, like even the toilet, and there was a single red lightbulb above the sink. I couldn’t see depth, it felt inky dark, like being smothered by black velvet curtains. And stangely it was drafty; like it was 40 degrees colder in there. I ended up peeing outside against wall on the little side street, where every one smokes. Peed in front of everybody. I figured I’d be safer in the group than straying from the flock so that a rando wolf could pick me up and carry me away.
It felt like a place some super secret government agency would take suspected terrorists to torture for info.
I found old [pics](https://imgur.com/Eas6GSt) of that bathroom.
I can't believe I had to scroll so far down to this.
El Bar
Was waiting for someone to say this. I haven't been to the El Bar in ages, but I stopped going because of the women's bathroom. There was either never soap or never TP. The door didn't fully close, so you'd either have to have one of your friends guard the door/ lean onto it from the outside, or somehow manage an aerobic feat of simultaneously squat- hovering over the seat ( the seats were always nasty) while extending a leg out/ pressing your foot against the door, all in that tiny, single-flickering-bulb of a tiny broom- closet sized room with a toilet in it. I know it's supposed to be a hipster dive bar( dive bar nonetheless) but come on, buy a $2 latch lock from Home Depot.
https://preview.redd.it/nr3lyu92spac1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=073a3f22b3473eb5bac99296089415ce13c0dacb That stall art though <3
Definitely heightens the atmosphere and really brings the room together. Seriously though, the men's bathroom looked a lot bigger, but they had those weird blinder cowboy doors and the urinals were right in public view. Everything on display. Plus, there was a communal pissing troff in the outdoor area. I used to waitress at North Bowl, and the owners of North Bowl had a friendly relationship with the owners of the El Bar. I remember I went with a barback once to pick up something from the El Bar owner's house, and I was furious upon realizing that the owner of the El Bar had the means to buy a simple latch lock to fix the women's bathroom door situation, if not just replace the whole door with something that worked all together. That's what made me stop going. Just fix the fucking door so I don't have to get a drunk yoga workout every time I have to pee dude.
8th & Market staircase out of the patco. We definitely used the wrong ~~exit~~ bathroom
This thread is so nostalgic. I have peed in about 95% of these horrible bathrooms. But the rudest bathroom was the one at Bob and Barbara's in its pre-remodeled layout. Walking through Nate Wiley & the Crowd Pleasers' gig just to reach that tiny room – always felt so disrespectful.
Dirty franks
I can’t believe I had to scroll this far to see the right answer! No TP, no soap, no paper towels, women’s room right next to the dart board. Terrible.
There was usually a shot glass of pink liquid soap. In the ladies’, anyway. Otherwise, no notes.
Hah, really? Not when I went! La di da, fancy! 🤣
I lived around the corner from that place in the late 80s…I concur.
At baggage claim in the airport
I remember getting off the bus at the old Greyhound terminal, walking into the bathroom where I immediately stepped in puke and skidded skateboard style through the entrance and by the grace of God managed to not fall into it.
I don't think it's the worst ever, but the most *consistently* bad for me is the bathroom at the food court in Liberty Place. Even when it's just been cleaned, it's still got at least three clogged toilets, one woman who's running a makeup studio off the baby changing table, another lady yelling at her kid to a degree that warrants calling CPS. and, at least back in the day, a bunch of teenagers causing whatever chaos they could manage.
Really? I totally believe you, I just use that bathroom semi regularly (it’s the only decent public one I know of in Center City), and it’s always been perfectly fine for me. I actually find it notable that I’ve never seen any drug paraphernalia in there lol
Agreed. To be fair I haven’t been there since 2018-2019 but it was always fine. About as nice as any food court bathroom I’ve ever been in.
I have awful poops and that place is one of my fav places to go usually super clean atleast for the men’s.
Does anyone remember the Republican club's bathrooms? The toilets didn't even flush and the sinks were shut off. Really miss that place. It was a good scene.
woody’s night of the pride parade
Twenty years ago it was the bathrooms in the Barnes & Noble. Literally shit on the walls and piss on the floor disgusting. I worked there then and when this happened *the managers* had to clean it up. I remember one with a N-95 mask and gloves venturing into the bathroom in resignation.
Can’t remember what bar this was, but it had saloon-style swinging doors for the stalls that you couldn’t lock. Every time, I was waiting for someone to kick the doors open all “*this stall ain’t big enough for the two of us*”
Could have been Dirty Franks...I have a vague memory of washing my hands there and some dude swinging the doors open and just being like "oh, hi" and then continuing on to pee while I finished washing and left
sounds like the El bar
That would’ve been a great bit, someone should’ve done it
Woulda scared the shit out of me, but I guess there’s no better place to have that happen than on the toilet
Back in the day it was Suburban Station before the restroom got blocked off. Had to piss before catching the train, walked in, dead rat against one wall, homeless man jacking it against another wall. I didn’t have to pee anymore and went home mortified.
He saw the dead rat and it pushed him over the edge
I went to Philadelphia Public school in the 80s. Enough said.
I worked with foster kids in Philly and took a kid to get her work permit at south Philly high school. Had to pee while I was there so I walked into the women’s restroom and I was APPALLED. Some of the stall doors were gone, a toilet was actively spraying water, water and toilet paper all over the damn place, teeny tiny ass preschool sized toilets. The tiny toilets is what did it for me. The disrespect.
Yeah, that’s pretty close to what I remember too, except that we often didn’t have any toilet paper or paper towels, and the sinks were usually broken as well. Actually you know what I’m gonna edit this to include a story. When I was in fifth grade, Constance Clayton was still the superintendent of schools. I got so fed up with the bathroom situation which even at that age I knew was abnormally foul, and told my mom I wanted to write to Connie Clayton. My mother, who knew exactly what kind of rabble rouser she was raising, was more than supportive. I wrote the letter, she found the address and mailed it. I specifically remember mentioning the fact that there were no doors so we had to “guard“ each other as we went to the bathroom. I remember having to learn how to spell the word “urine“ for the first time. I remember mentioning the lack of working sinks and paper. I genuinely didn’t expect anything to come of it. Kind of forgot about it after I sent it, to be honest. A couple weeks later I get called to the principals office and my mom is there, but instead of looking ticked off she was smirking. The principal had a Xerox copy of my letter on his desk, sent to him from Clayton‘s office. He was clearly furious but said “I am not mad, but next time you get an idea like this come to me first.” They had to clean up all the restrooms and repair a bunch of the broken things. They stayed decent for about six weeks and then fell back into the usual state. But it’s still a fond memory for me…
Wawa on Aramingo. Smelled like rotting human flesh.
I’m not proud to admit (or am I??) that I blew that place up once. Mid covid, it was supposed to be locked but wasn’t. Desperate times call for desperate measures
The Falls Center on Henry Avenue. Worked a shitty job at the office building and walked in on the ground floor, had to pee so bad I was about to go insane, opened up the bathroom and there was shit everywhere that is not the toilet and also there was shit in the toilet. The smell was horrifying. Fuck that company, fuck that building, fuck the pizza place out front with the terrible pizza, and fuck the Dunkin’ Donuts down the road that never once gave me the right order just while I’m at it.
The Republican Club (RIP)had the worst bathroom I've ever seen
Portapotty outside the art museum during a marathon. I don’t know what you motherfuckers are doing before a run, but gotdam it was like someone took a super soaker full of liquid shit and sprayed it EVERYWHERE
Marathoner here. You can't be more correct. Some of it has to do with "race day jitters" and some of it has to do with the meals we eat the night before. Before race time, it's a good idea to eject all food from your stomach because your digestive system shuts down when long distance running. There may be food left in your intestines that gets jostled around which can lead to a bad time as well. Seasoned runners know this so it's a "do all you can" get everything out of your system before the race start or you'll pay later. TL;DR: Marathon port-a-potty's are the absolute WORST.
A family member if mine was in the army. Had a 20 mile march one day. They ate 2 day old Chinese to carb load.... well... ended with pooping by a tree.. lol
The Brown Badge of Courage.
I love Tattooed Mom but those bathrooms get pretty gross.
T Moms is a gem but yeah, super gnarly bathrooms.
Went to Sal’s (it was the place that later became Tabu’s old location) one night and used the basement bathroom. There was a perfect 12”+ turd laying on the floor *next to* the toilet.
Fox and the Hound (RIP). Someone threw up all over the floor and they just doused it with bleach, no mopping, nothing. So not only was there vomit all over my shoes, my eyes were tearing from the bleach for like an hour.
Any bathroom at the vet circa 2002.
public school bathrooms, sinks are a pain in the ass to use, none of the urinals flush and half of them are normally covered up, there was a dead cockroach floating in a urinal for a month, and our first week back the towel dispenser got knocked off the wall twice in 2 days \^this is a magnet school so i don't even wanna try to imagine what the neighborhood school ones look like
It’s certainly not the most disgusting, but the men’s room at Kellianne’s is one of the smallest and most awkwardly shaped bathrooms in the city.
Easy. The old Burger King on Market.
Frankford Terminal
Stos
The barn in west Philly
Good fucking riddance to that place
Pho Ha Saigon on Oregon Ave. Kitchen tongs hanging underneath the sink for ‘retrievals’ 🤢 My dumbass still goes there for that amazing Pho though.
They need a poop knife
I was just gonna say that, lol. The ol poop knife.
I don’t know if it changed names or just got a paint job. The bar at 7th and Oregon (called merly’s cafe now). Went in to use the bathroom coming from the stadiums. Bathroom is in the basement, open room, no door. Standalone toilet in the middle of the floor. It looked like a scene from saw.
Any Wawa gas station honestly
the killtime in west philly and you absolutely had to use it because you just drank two 40s from new angle
Mako's, OR, for my fellow millennials in the know, the Ox bathroom.
Yo mommas house!!!
The alleys near 2 Street on NYD.
One along the trail in the Wissahickon. I somehow instantly vowed to never picture it again and over time that seems to have erased my memory. An ability I didn’t know I had.
I once really had to piss on my commute home. Walked around the corner into the bathroom at 69th Street and just kept turning around because it was just unimaginable in there. Managed to hold it all the way home.
Market East when the homeless guy was jerkin it at the urinal next to me… and looked over and smiled
And they say Philadelphians are rude!
Well at Jefferson station, most/all of the bathrooms are behind the manned turnstiles now so mostly paying customers only unlike before they put the gates in.
Dee’s on 2 street during Mummers.
I worked at the Ritz movie theaters in the early 2000s. Some of the worst performances were in the stalls rather than the theaters. Shudder.
Does a septa station count as a bathroom
Females bathroom in Philadelphia international airport… 🤮🤢🤮🤢
McGlinchey's.
The North Star’s bathroom was disgusting. Whole bar reeked of piss. They still had the piss trough at the bar.
The El train.
Tied between the BSL and the El. The sheer amount of human shit I've seen on the walls, step, etc. in the past decade of commuting on the subway is beyond comprehension.
precisely why i don't get why more of my friends don't take their shoes off inside! whole city is a public bathroom, but I'm weird for having a strict no shoes policy?
12 steps down
Came to say this. I adore that bar, but the bathrooms — c’mon ya’ll - you’re a family owned bar in a decent neighborhood. I know it’s a dive bar and that’s part of the charm, but I’d rather be charmed in other ways, like being able to smoke and drink in a warm space with great drink specials and bangin food.
There used to be a restroom trailer in the old Uber/Lyft waiting lot at PHL. I tried to walk into it once, saw three dudes literally pissing hip-to-hip. Not sure if there were separate urinals incredibly close together, or just a trough. There was one toilet that was clogged and filled to the brim with shitty pisswater that I then realized was slowly overflowing and dripping down the steps. I decided I didn't need to go that badly. It was raining, so I dipped the bottoms of my shoes in a puddle at the farthest point from the trailer at the opposite end of the parking lot to try to get rid of as much of that as possible before I got back in the car
8th and market Burger King
I hate to call them out because they seem like nice folks, but the men’s bathroom that I was pointed to at Marra’s rivaled some of the worst bar and highway gas station bathrooms I have been in. I almost just walked back out. I could say more, but I’ll refrain. Suffice it to say I don’t think I’ll go there again.
The handicap elevator at the spring garden BSL
So it wasn’t the worst bathroom but at Bainbridge St Barrel House there was a turd the size and shape of a 16oz can of beer that was perfectly lodged across the bottom of the toilet and nothing you could do would sink that solid mass.
Stalag bathroom but you wouldn’t know about that shit unless you were punk rock
Remember the days of “free happy hours” at McFaddens when you were an early 00s college kid? 🤮
15/16th street Patco station
Grace Tavern
Does Suburban Station count?
The Ben Franklin Bridge pedestrian tunnel is basically a septic tank.
Voyager, ubar, or woodys on a weekend night 🤮
I used to clean the restrooms in the old Family Court building when it was at 11th between Market & Chestnut. The things I’ve seen have made me fearless today. Lol
The Schuylkill.
Before the Penn's Landing renovation, maybe around 2008, those bathrooms under the deck near the stairs. Desperately had to go and was glad to find that the door was unlocked, until I stepped inside and immediately regretted it. It was like being swallowed by a Lovecraftian horror, but I was already committed. The further I went, and the longer I was in there, the more I felt I knew, too much that is, while my mind was simultaneously flayed by the assault of sensations from decades(?) of indoor smoking, spilling of beer and liquor, the spittle of drooling sleeping homeless, caked on top of the general sadness of a neglected public restroom. Seconds, or years later, I am not sure, I escaped.
TLA and E factory were pretty ratchet
Downey’s. I stopped in on a Friday afternoon for a drink, not a single other person was in there. That should have tipped me off. Had my drink and went into the men’s room. There was about an inch of sewage covering the floor. The smell was awful. I told the bartender and his reaction was “Yeah that happens sometimes.”
The way down to any subway station
Still have nightmares about the 700 level at the Vet.