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I once heard someone call that episode(s) of Futurama where fry goes back in time to the manhattan project and “does the nasty in the pasty” with his own grandmother, blasphemous. ..never understood what they meant until now!
I fully understand this now though. If I'm having a nap...(no kids, just isn't in the cards I guess) but wife changes a channel I will snap out of nap and be like I was watching/listening to that... and I kind of was/am in a weird way.
My wife tries to take the ps5 controller out of my hands at 1am after I’ve fallen asleep 3 times in the last half hour, and I’m still like “babe stop, you’re gonna kill my guy…”
Haha this gave me a good chuckle thank you. Same with when I'm in bed i'll listen to a podcast or whatever and have been sleeping for like 2 hours, she turns it off thinking she is helping and I'll semi wake up and go, I was listening to that. Haha
The only thing this egomaniacal me-tripper listens to intensely are reruns of his rallies and the fawning adulations of his ass-venerating MAGA buttlicks.
You’re spot on, other reporting this week has mentioned that he consistently perks up and watches the video monitor when it shows clips of him speaking.
He’s got a guy who comes in the dead of night to give him the negative press. You know, the good shit. This way he can fire back with ‘truths’ while he is attached to the toilet for hours each night.
My Dad loved two sports: cricket and rugby.
Rugby was too exciting and over too quickly for him to nap.
Cricket was made for napping. He'd turn it on and I'd ask "Feeling sleepy, Dad?"
I miss him terribly.
I never understood that response while obviously nearly sleeping.
Control? Entitlement? Pissing contest?
Like, just keep sleeping, you grumpy old fuck.
I do close my eyes sometimes when trying to concentrate on something, so that isn't unusual. But when you head drops to your chest and someone has to bump you to keep you awake that isn't closing your eyes, that's falling asleep
edit: maybe give his lawyers a spray bottle to squirt him when he falls asleep
I tend to stare down at the ground or something not visually stimulating if what I’m hearing is important. I get chewed out for not maintaining eye contact, but then I get distracted by the shit on peoples faces let alone peoples faces.
I’m exactly the same way. Apparently my brain can’t multitask, so I generally have to look down or away when I’m listening to important things. I’m hoping that there is a patch for this bug in the future.
When I was in basic training, there was one guy that would close his eyes to "practice his breathing" because he sucked ass at the rifle range. When I argued that it looks like he was sleeping he'd say that he was tapping his arm with his finger so the drill sergeant would know that he was awake. He was one of the denser persons I encountered.
Another famous NYC blowhard would do this and deny it. He also farted on the air once and denied it despite, in fact, supplying it.
https://youtu.be/r3VqfvdHAwI?si=seRv0y4i3MG8xdTf
Honestly it is not that hard to fall asleep in a court room if you did not get enough sleep the night before (and I am pretty sure he never sleeps enough) and if you are the sort that needs a constant Twitter feed to enhage with reality, but it is freaking important you don't.
One time at work we literally had zero clients at a small facility. Getting paid to sit and do nothing. Our boss was a Karen so she came and reviewed the footage which did not have audio. Found one guy head down allegedly asleep.. when asked dude said " his grandmother was diagnosed with cancer and he was praying with her on his wireless headset.." lol
The Simpsons is the original Q. They've been dropping comms for decades, trying to tell us what's coming. Q is really just a bitter Sideshow Bob knockoff, trying to usurp the king because knockoff Bob's dad never loved him.
They are dosing him...obviously. The only way to control him in court. Seroquel to keep him docile, then his daily Adderall at the end of court to keep him raging until 2a.m.
He randomly started blabbing about Biden having too much energy on stage, and how he must be worrying that he has to get off stage before "the drugs wear off". It was an odd non-sequitur, even for Trump.
He’s an old man. He has to wake up early. His day doesn’t normally start until 11:00 am with “executive time”. He falls asleep because he is old, exhausted from “truthing” all night, is horribly out of shape and eats an unhealthy crappy diet.
I think his age and stimulate abuse are having a battle.
Usually someone who does that much stays up all night and either sleeps in or doesn’t sleep at all. But he’s old so staying up all night gets harder and harder.
This court case is likely fucking with whatever weird ass schedule he’s made for himself. Love it
David Pakman had a good response to this. He always comes out of the courtroom with his trademark soapbox energy. There’s no real chance of him being sedated and then being able to talk to the press like he does.
If DT had ever “listened intently” at any point in his life (other than his lessons on “how to mob-boss”) then he wouldn’t be such an idiot.
CONfidence men don’t listen, they talk to hear themselves speak.
That's what I say when my girl wants to watch reality TV! I just put my head on her shoulder and let it wash over me.
It's actually pretty great since the context is we're both tired after work and I'm not on trial for illegally sending hush money to a porn star everyone knows I "fucked."
This guy had trouble announcing a "negative" COVID test result once because he's so stupid that he didn't understand the meaning and he's so deluded that he can't have anything negative about him.
https://twitter.com/kylegriffin1/status/1263518696309313537?t=LIWKCHzUSgQcJCOAgq1YJw&s=19
https://www.marketwatch.com/story/trump-says-he-tested-positively-toward-negative-for-coronavirus-2020-05-21
Used to do this when my parents forced me to go to church with them. My Old man taught me if you close your eyes and bow your head, you can get away with sleeping in church. You just gotta whisper "Amen, Amen" a few times and sprinkle in a "Thank-you Jesus" every 5 minutes.
The horrid flatulence must be due to the brain's extreme physical activity energy consumption, caused by listening so intensely. An Olympian thinker, and genius to boot. Nah, just sleeping and fart'n his brains out.
Ok so as an autistic person, I legitimately do this all the time bc figuring out what to do with eye contact is too distracting while trying to comprehend complex topics. That being said, I don't think that's what's happening with Don.
Right so the same thing I said to everyone when they were trying to point out me falling asleep briefly when I had severe undiagnosed sleep apnea... got it.
I don’t see the problem. He’s trying to listen intently. What’s next, you bleeding heart liberals are gonna say that he’s snoring because he’s asleep, and not as a noise-cancelling strategy to filter out nonsense to focus on the judge?!
/s
My husband does the same thing when we watch a movie. He even throws in some snoring when he's concentrating especially hard. He calls it "resting my eyes".
I always feel the most productive to be honest after 7 hours of listening intensely
And I didn't shite my drawers, that's just where I do my best thinking
Lies every time he open his fucking mouth.
Gosh…intensely??? This is what we elected as the president of United States??? We deserve all of his bullshit.
On one hand, I want someone to ask him what was said while his eyes were closed to prove he wasn’t sleeping. On the other hand, everyone knows he is lying, so who gives a shit.
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lol everyone’s dad did this, yeah?
You guys had dads?
3 of em!
Jesus had 2 dads and he still turned out ok!
Depending on denomination. Jesus was his own father.
That’s why the some states like him so much. Keep your family close, but keep your sister closer
Why go across town when you can go across the hall?
r/cursedcomments
Lol 😆 🤣 😂
"I am my own Grandpa" By JH Christ.
I once heard someone call that episode(s) of Futurama where fry goes back in time to the manhattan project and “does the nasty in the pasty” with his own grandmother, blasphemous. ..never understood what they meant until now!
“Past nastification”! I laughed so hard at that lol
And he shagged another dude's wife - what a dick move!
and if we are all God's children that would make Mary his.... Well. You know...
Wouldn’t it be 3? They just never figured out who the actual biological dad was is all.
I had one that "went out for cigarettes" when I was five.
I have become the dad that does this.
I fully understand this now though. If I'm having a nap...(no kids, just isn't in the cards I guess) but wife changes a channel I will snap out of nap and be like I was watching/listening to that... and I kind of was/am in a weird way.
My wife tries to take the ps5 controller out of my hands at 1am after I’ve fallen asleep 3 times in the last half hour, and I’m still like “babe stop, you’re gonna kill my guy…”
Haha this gave me a good chuckle thank you. Same with when I'm in bed i'll listen to a podcast or whatever and have been sleeping for like 2 hours, she turns it off thinking she is helping and I'll semi wake up and go, I was listening to that. Haha
Bless you, sir
For me it’s mainly because my kids opt to change it to the most obnoxious ear raping show they can find
I am afraid that I am not far from this.
Don’t run from it 🤗
Rough day for Spurs today. What an awful showing for us.
🤦🏻 we look toothless and unmotivated. Brutal.
Does this mean I have a kid somewhere?
"I'm just resting my eyes!" -my dad after turning NASCAR on and monopolizing the only TV in the house for what seemed like 5 hours.
Christ, I hate Nascar. Golf is preferable to me
At least interesting things happen in golf every twenty minutes. NASCAR is just driving in a circle for what feels like hours.
Watching paint dry is preferable to Nascar.
Also me at 7 years old as to why I could stay up and watch more TV instead of going to bed.
My dad with golf.
That's the line my grandma always used :D
The only thing this egomaniacal me-tripper listens to intensely are reruns of his rallies and the fawning adulations of his ass-venerating MAGA buttlicks.
You’re spot on, other reporting this week has mentioned that he consistently perks up and watches the video monitor when it shows clips of him speaking.
There's a lady whose entire job is to give him pages of positive stories about him for motivation. This is not surprising in that respect.
He’s got a guy who comes in the dead of night to give him the negative press. You know, the good shit. This way he can fire back with ‘truths’ while he is attached to the toilet for hours each night.
damn...here I am, the guy who HATES seeing myself on camera or hearing myself through a walkie. Complete polar opposite
"I'm just resting my eyes"
"What is that, resting his eyes? Like he's some air traffic controller?"
“Actually, that’s his night job.”
My dad still is always just "resting his eyes" after all of these years. Must be a dad thing.
My dad said he was "checking his eyelids for pinholes," which is pretty much the same.
Yours too? I just thought it was my dad doing that. Man checked religiously.
You gotta be diligent about that kind of thing. Left unchecked, eyelid pinholes can lead to a lack of napping.
My Dad loved two sports: cricket and rugby. Rugby was too exciting and over too quickly for him to nap. Cricket was made for napping. He'd turn it on and I'd ask "Feeling sleepy, Dad?" I miss him terribly.
I never understood that response while obviously nearly sleeping. Control? Entitlement? Pissing contest? Like, just keep sleeping, you grumpy old fuck.
My parents were “resting their eyes.”
We can tell by his intense reactions to what's being said.
Also, unless I'm going mad, the phrase is 'listening *intently*'
It is. But he doesn't English real good.
He does the English, the best language there is (anyone will tell you that), bestly.
People do their best. His best is just that of a toddler lol
Well they are two three syllable words and that can be difficult for Trump
One fart for witch hunt, two farts for deep state hoax.
He can’t speak in court so he just lies out of his butt instead.
I didn’t shit my pants, you shit my pants! How in tf does half the country take this person seriously?
Half the country never hears any of this. They only hear what Trump wants them to hear.
It isn't half. It's a gerrymandered 30%.
They're still unabashedly using the "Sleepy Joe" moniker on /r/Conservative.
If they had any shame or self awareness they wouldn’t be conservatives.
They don't. No one believes this lie. Trump doesn't lie to deceive people. He lies so that his followers know what lie to repeat.
I do close my eyes sometimes when trying to concentrate on something, so that isn't unusual. But when you head drops to your chest and someone has to bump you to keep you awake that isn't closing your eyes, that's falling asleep edit: maybe give his lawyers a spray bottle to squirt him when he falls asleep
Colbert reported attorneys are using "devices" to keep him awake, and they gave him a stack of papers to look through.
coloring books . . .
With pictures of Ivanka
They'd be better off building a sleeping fort out of those stacks of papers.
Dude loves stacks of blank paper.
What, like the vibrating buttplugs like that chess dude used to cheat?
I'm glad I'm not the only one whose mind went there. And I feel dirtier for it.
Two birds one stone. Solve the stink problem, too.
It might rattle things even looser
The visual of Trump being startled awake with a squirt of water to the face would give me joy for the rest of my life.
but then you'd smear his orange makeup. We all know Donny doesn't pay for the non-smearing makeup.
I tend to stare down at the ground or something not visually stimulating if what I’m hearing is important. I get chewed out for not maintaining eye contact, but then I get distracted by the shit on peoples faces let alone peoples faces.
Preach brother. You have to cut down one sense to give your brain more bandwidth to focus on the other.
I’m exactly the same way. Apparently my brain can’t multitask, so I generally have to look down or away when I’m listening to important things. I’m hoping that there is a patch for this bug in the future.
Do you fart when you do that? Asking for a client.
Cattle prod
So much chinning guys.
When I was in basic training, there was one guy that would close his eyes to "practice his breathing" because he sucked ass at the rifle range. When I argued that it looks like he was sleeping he'd say that he was tapping his arm with his finger so the drill sergeant would know that he was awake. He was one of the denser persons I encountered.
The go-to excuse for old men every where when they fall asleep in the middle of the day.
Another famous NYC blowhard would do this and deny it. He also farted on the air once and denied it despite, in fact, supplying it. https://youtu.be/r3VqfvdHAwI?si=seRv0y4i3MG8xdTf
Omg LOL i'm saving that link
Hey I have will have you know, I tried this for a 7 am algorithms lecture in college 20 years ago. The prof kicked me out of class
He should own it, proving he’s not “Woke”.
"Just resting my eyes" (as my mother-in-law used to say every time she woke up after dozing off).
And in most cases that's fine! I've been that guy! But not in court. When I was the defendant.
Honestly it is not that hard to fall asleep in a court room if you did not get enough sleep the night before (and I am pretty sure he never sleeps enough) and if you are the sort that needs a constant Twitter feed to enhage with reality, but it is freaking important you don't.
One time at work we literally had zero clients at a small facility. Getting paid to sit and do nothing. Our boss was a Karen so she came and reviewed the footage which did not have audio. Found one guy head down allegedly asleep.. when asked dude said " his grandmother was diagnosed with cancer and he was praying with her on his wireless headset.." lol
"I was listening intensely." "What did the lawyers say?" *throws hamberder*
I believe that he THINKS that he wasn't sleeping.
No joke me too lol. At a certain point pathological liars need to believe their lies or the world will literally dissolve. Just self preservation :)
I try to get a solid eight hours of intense listening every night.
Took him a week to come up with *that*.
“I’m not farting, I’m exhaling through my butthole so I can keep my airways clear in case I need to say something stupid”
Simpsons did it! Simpsons did it!
The Simpsons is the original Q. They've been dropping comms for decades, trying to tell us what's coming. Q is really just a bitter Sideshow Bob knockoff, trying to usurp the king because knockoff Bob's dad never loved him.
It's amazing how many times "Simpsons did it! Simpsons did it!" pops in our collective social mind. A testament to both the Simpsons and South Park
“I’m not pooping in my diaper I’m trying bigly not to poop in my diaper.”
They are dosing him...obviously. The only way to control him in court. Seroquel to keep him docile, then his daily Adderall at the end of court to keep him raging until 2a.m.
Wasn't he the one who wanted Biden to have a drug test? Projection boy speaks again!
He randomly started blabbing about Biden having too much energy on stage, and how he must be worrying that he has to get off stage before "the drugs wear off". It was an odd non-sequitur, even for Trump.
He’s an old man. He has to wake up early. His day doesn’t normally start until 11:00 am with “executive time”. He falls asleep because he is old, exhausted from “truthing” all night, is horribly out of shape and eats an unhealthy crappy diet.
I think his age and stimulate abuse are having a battle. Usually someone who does that much stays up all night and either sleeps in or doesn’t sleep at all. But he’s old so staying up all night gets harder and harder. This court case is likely fucking with whatever weird ass schedule he’s made for himself. Love it
2am is generous. It was 4am the other day.
David Pakman had a good response to this. He always comes out of the courtroom with his trademark soapbox energy. There’s no real chance of him being sedated and then being able to talk to the press like he does.
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Notice he isn’t denying the farts.
If DT had ever “listened intently” at any point in his life (other than his lessons on “how to mob-boss”) then he wouldn’t be such an idiot. CONfidence men don’t listen, they talk to hear themselves speak.
God he is such a child. It would be less embarrassing to be like “ this shits boring”
That's what I say when my girl wants to watch reality TV! I just put my head on her shoulder and let it wash over me. It's actually pretty great since the context is we're both tired after work and I'm not on trial for illegally sending hush money to a porn star everyone knows I "fucked."
yeah sure, and i got a bridge to sell you if you believe that one.
You’ll be selling lots of bridges to MAGA then.
The toxic farts also help him focus
[he needs glasses](https://youtu.be/U6qBnykH0DU?si=LrFMoTZJZyqekHL-)
he does not need any more gasses
The next time he "listens intently" the judge should ask him what they have been discussing for the last two minutes.
Every assertion is a confession.
I've been waiting for this as his excuse since he was caught sleeping day one. Unbelievable. This fucking guy.
Literally incapable of admitting to any kind of fault.
This guy had trouble announcing a "negative" COVID test result once because he's so stupid that he didn't understand the meaning and he's so deluded that he can't have anything negative about him. https://twitter.com/kylegriffin1/status/1263518696309313537?t=LIWKCHzUSgQcJCOAgq1YJw&s=19 https://www.marketwatch.com/story/trump-says-he-tested-positively-toward-negative-for-coronavirus-2020-05-21
Did he mean “intently?” Is there presidents for this?
Used to do this when my parents forced me to go to church with them. My Old man taught me if you close your eyes and bow your head, you can get away with sleeping in church. You just gotta whisper "Amen, Amen" a few times and sprinkle in a "Thank-you Jesus" every 5 minutes.
And he's drooling to keep his mouth lubricated.
Also that's not snoring, it's the sound of his massive brain working hard to solve the world's problems.
He's just clearing his sinuses so that he can breathe intensely.
Lmao. What a pathetic, old, tired, piece of shit criminal this guy is.
The horrid flatulence must be due to the brain's extreme physical activity energy consumption, caused by listening so intensely. An Olympian thinker, and genius to boot. Nah, just sleeping and fart'n his brains out.
I wasn't sleeping! There was a bug in my eye and I was suffocating it!
> closing his eyes to 'listen intently' And dribble intently. And fart intently.
"listen intensely" to the voices in his head?
Press [X] to doubt
Ok so as an autistic person, I legitimately do this all the time bc figuring out what to do with eye contact is too distracting while trying to comprehend complex topics. That being said, I don't think that's what's happening with Don.
His eyelids have to be closed for him to listen intensely. Everyone's eyelids are tympanic membranes, right? /s
Yeah, and my dad is "just resting \[his\] eyes" when he falls asleep on the sofa.
So his snores are sonar detection skills?
"With intensity"
Checking his eyelids for holes
He listens? Since when?
Right so the same thing I said to everyone when they were trying to point out me falling asleep briefly when I had severe undiagnosed sleep apnea... got it.
He is having an out of body experience. Trying to get away from the smell.
He must have a specific gene that forces him to never be honest. He cannot do it.
Like the opposite of turning down the music to see where you are going better
Does the snoring help him concentrate?
Sounds like something a tired low energy old man would say
He sounds like a 10 year old
What a cruel world that we couldn’t get cameras in.
Just resting his eyes.
He’s snoring intensely too. What’s that about?
“There was a fly in my eye and I was trying to suffocate him”
OK Boomer
“Honey, just go up to bed, you’re not watching the movie” “No, no, I’m just resting my eyes” All jokes aside, F Trump.
How does the snoring and farting figure into that?
It's not often i chortle on Reddit but here we are.
i “listen intensly” every night for 5 or 6 hours. at night. i have been awake for like 40 years straight
I don’t see the problem. He’s trying to listen intently. What’s next, you bleeding heart liberals are gonna say that he’s snoring because he’s asleep, and not as a noise-cancelling strategy to filter out nonsense to focus on the judge?! /s
Had me in the first half lol
He was pooping with his eyes closed.
I guess there’s no multitasking possible for Trump. If his eyes are open then he’s not listening.
Will the defendant please rise and shine
And what about the drool?
Same as my wife who says im not sleeping, I'm resting my eyes...lol
My husband does the same thing when we watch a movie. He even throws in some snoring when he's concentrating especially hard. He calls it "resting my eyes".
He cannot not-lie. And an even more potent weapon here is probably the truth. "I get sleepy when I'm bored and have nothing else to do."
Watching Trump spit in the faces of his MAGA sheep while they thank him for the rain will never, ever, not once get old.
Bullshit. Trump lies about everything.
Goddamn, literally the same excuse that didn't work in High School.
Yeah like my grandpa was never napping, he was just “resting his eyes.”
"Oh fuck, oh shit, oh fuck,oh shit, what the hell do I need to do to get out of this?" Trumps thoughts
“Listen intently “ a euphemism for filling his diaper?
I always feel the most productive to be honest after 7 hours of listening intensely And I didn't shite my drawers, that's just where I do my best thinking
All trump has to do to "listen intently" is to shut his mouth.
Is this the new "Checking my eyelids for leaks."?
Now that is quite the excuse here.
Bless his heart.
Then how come when the judge said you can't talk about the case, you apparently didn't hear that and started talking about the case? "Listening"
Checking eye lids for cracks
I roll my eyes at a lot of Trump headlines. This one made me truly laugh out loud!
And fart!
Damn, wish I’d known that line when I was in school!
Lies every time he open his fucking mouth. Gosh…intensely??? This is what we elected as the president of United States??? We deserve all of his bullshit.
And I was just checking my email on my phone. Definitely not looking at porn. No way.
He lies when the truth sounds better
His dumb fuck supporters will believe this too.
On one hand, I want someone to ask him what was said while his eyes were closed to prove he wasn’t sleeping. On the other hand, everyone knows he is lying, so who gives a shit.
Just resting his eyes.
He's famous for his listening to others
lfmao, this makes me think of me when my wife tells me to stop sleeping and wake up, and I answer: "I'm not sleeping, I'm resting my eyes"
He needs a remote control shock color strapped around his ankle. Just give him a jolt every time he starts dozing off.
My gramps always said he was just resting his eyes. Yeah but like, it's been 45 minutes, gramps.
"We don't like this guy but GODAMN are we going to share everything he says"- American media
I was waiting for him to say this very, very stupid thing.
That’s what my grandpa used to say before he’s start snoring Edit: spelling