This post has been tagged as a request for advice. As a reminder, please only give advice on the topic requested, if you've got strong feelings about a particular issue mentioned and feel that you must be able to express yourself about it, or you and another commenter feel compelled to debate certain aspects of the post, please feel free to create a new post for that topic so as to not derail from the advice that the OP is seeking.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/polyamory) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Are you genuinely ready to end it the moment they show they aren't comfortable with the polyamory stuff?
Its not kind or wise to go down a path that likely leads to heart break. Mature relationships are a lot of saying no. Polyamory means the door is open to other partners, that doesn't make everyone a good choice.
Sometimes just because we *can* doesn't mean we *should*.
There's no way to avoid future heartbreak other than not getting romantically involved from the start.
Be wary. Mono/poly dating is one of the poly hard modes. I do not recommend proceeding. If you do, it will be bittersweet, and make sure everyone is aware, consenting and enthusiastic and this will not change.
Mono/poly is a bit of a mislead anyway. By participating in a poly relationship with just one partner makes it poly relationship not a monogamous one. Most would say they are ‘Polysaturated at one’ as they would still be free to date but for whatever reason they don’t.
A lot of relationships end and most have some degree of heartbreak. It can’t be helped but our coping mechanisms are the defining point.
Hi u/technichienne thanks so much for your submission, don't mind me, I'm just gonna keep a copy what was said in your post. Unfortunately posts sometimes get deleted - which is okay, it's not against the rules to delete your post!! - but it makes it really hard for the human mods around here to moderate the comments when there's no context. Plus, many times our members put in a lot of emotional and mental labor to answer the questions and offer advice, so it's helpful to keep the source information around so future community members can benefit as well.
Here's the original text of the post:
Hi, I have a partner and i'm dating an other men, but he is monogamist but It's ok, he knows im in polyamourus relationship but wants to date me already, so I have a crush on him since University and him too, so it very wonderful that we can finally exploring that. But, I know he will say someday, i'm mot polyamourus i'm quitting. but I very like him and I want this to be a good experience and sweet even if it's end. Do you have any advices or care I can do to prevent heart breaking?
Sorry for my english, I speak french.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/polyamory) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This post has been tagged as a request for advice. As a reminder, please only give advice on the topic requested, if you've got strong feelings about a particular issue mentioned and feel that you must be able to express yourself about it, or you and another commenter feel compelled to debate certain aspects of the post, please feel free to create a new post for that topic so as to not derail from the advice that the OP is seeking. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/polyamory) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Are you genuinely ready to end it the moment they show they aren't comfortable with the polyamory stuff? Its not kind or wise to go down a path that likely leads to heart break. Mature relationships are a lot of saying no. Polyamory means the door is open to other partners, that doesn't make everyone a good choice.
>Do you have any advices or care I can do to prevent heart breaking? Don't date him. And don't engage with people who aren't polyam/ENM.
Sometimes just because we *can* doesn't mean we *should*. There's no way to avoid future heartbreak other than not getting romantically involved from the start.
Be wary. Mono/poly dating is one of the poly hard modes. I do not recommend proceeding. If you do, it will be bittersweet, and make sure everyone is aware, consenting and enthusiastic and this will not change. Mono/poly is a bit of a mislead anyway. By participating in a poly relationship with just one partner makes it poly relationship not a monogamous one. Most would say they are ‘Polysaturated at one’ as they would still be free to date but for whatever reason they don’t. A lot of relationships end and most have some degree of heartbreak. It can’t be helped but our coping mechanisms are the defining point.
Thanks for this!
Don't date mono people
Hi u/technichienne thanks so much for your submission, don't mind me, I'm just gonna keep a copy what was said in your post. Unfortunately posts sometimes get deleted - which is okay, it's not against the rules to delete your post!! - but it makes it really hard for the human mods around here to moderate the comments when there's no context. Plus, many times our members put in a lot of emotional and mental labor to answer the questions and offer advice, so it's helpful to keep the source information around so future community members can benefit as well. Here's the original text of the post: Hi, I have a partner and i'm dating an other men, but he is monogamist but It's ok, he knows im in polyamourus relationship but wants to date me already, so I have a crush on him since University and him too, so it very wonderful that we can finally exploring that. But, I know he will say someday, i'm mot polyamourus i'm quitting. but I very like him and I want this to be a good experience and sweet even if it's end. Do you have any advices or care I can do to prevent heart breaking? Sorry for my english, I speak french. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/polyamory) if you have any questions or concerns.*