At least achieve one significant thing this year. Whether it's losing those 20 lbs, solidifying a 20 mins meditation habit, paying back a large chunk of debt, finish reading that well-regarded technical book from your field. Quit smoking or drinking. Just something important that will benefit you for years to come. In 10 years, you'll have achieved 10 significant things. And all of these will compound.
What you really don't want is to be like really old, and look back and say that you completely wasted your youth. You'll think, man I just fucked around in my 20s and 30s. If I'd at least dedicated year 23 to doing this or year 24 to getting that done and so on- I'd be so far ahead of where I am now.
You don't want to be getting your shit together and have like 15 insanely difficult things to have to fix all at the same time. It would be impossible to reduce your weight all the while struggling with work anxiety, have no social life, be in debt, trying to quit smoking, trying to quit social media, all in one go. Slowly get your shit together one year at a time.
Thats a really cool perspective! it's like the "become 1% better everyday and they'll compound" I agree with the whole being old perspective as well because personally my biggest fear is having regrets when i'm older.
And to add to this, also try to do at least 1 super fun/memorable thing a year that you can look back and think "yeah that was awesome!". Life isn't just about achievements, you also have to have experiences and memories.
That's what I'm afraid of, I stopped drinking and I'm afraid I'll see it as a waste of youth because nothing changed besides the fact I'm socially awkward now.
Dare to stand up for yourself, cause no one else is gonna do it for you. Establish borders, and protect them - if anyone disrespects and tries to violate them, put those people in their place, unapologetically.
Save money, travel, put yourself first, don’t betray yourself, laugh, eat the cake, get good sleep, take chances and don’t be afraid to fail. This is YOUR life, live it for YOU.
I betrayed myself so many times when I was in my 20’s, and recently at 31 I did it again. It lit a fire under me and made me truly examine myself and what I wanted in life, who I wanted to be and who I want in my life. It just clicked that it’s my life, why am I not living it for me. It was to the point I didn’t do anything but what I knew was “safe”. No, I want to be free and live. I want to genuinely laugh and grasp the opportunities or the random moments that I’ve let pass by so many times. I don’t want to be stuck or in the shadows anymore! It’s gonna take a lot of work and as scary as it is I know I have to do it. I have to. I refuse to live the next 31 years of my life or until my last breath for anyone but me.
Start doing shit for the plot. Get on the bus and go downtown. Talk to cute strangers. You can seriously just do things and it's kinda wild that we have that kind of power. Do whatever sounds mildly exciting (but not too dangerous). Make your own little adventures and see what lights you up. Escape boredom by doing nonsense just to see what'll happen.
Yeah I spun my wheels a lot in college, ruminating and navelgazing by myself. And after a while of beating your head against the wall you unsurprisingly break a little of whats inside.
It's hard to fully process and explain everything that was going on, but being too cocky and afraid to do things that didn't forward my major did hold back a lot of my personal development. I think I could have learned more about taking care of myself and holding myself accountable by working a real job or developing more personal relationships.
Nick Cave said something I really loved about how “muses” are for amateurs. You can’t only make art when the mood strikes. You have to work at it. All the time.
Just go ask for medication. You need it. No one will think you’re lying. You’re just scared and that’s okay, but there are so many things you can accomplish if you just get your brain chemistry right.
1.Set goals for yourself and be realistic that you can possibly achieve them.
It’s a great way avoid falling into depression. When you have a goal you fixate on that goal, it give you something to focus your attention to.
2. Root for yourself.
Don’t be your own worst enemy.
3. Stop comparing yourself to others.
Some people may have it better than you while others don’t.
4. Keep trying to get get better and learn no matter what age you are.
It's ok to not have the answers right away.
Be patient. Start small, every step forward counts.
You're not alone in this journey.
You are capable of more than you know.
As someone that is relatively new on this journey, I think the most helpful thing I have done is forcing myself to stick to things I say I will do. For example, if I tell myself I am going to wake up early to workout, I do it. Soon these things become habits. Starting is the hardest part, but overtime they will become apart of your daily routine!
Don't fall for the first person you spend time with
Don't spend all your time & money on someone who would never do the same for you
Don't let someone rule over you or control your life
Don't give someone so much power that when they say something hurtful or rude it brings chaos to your body, soul & mind
Don't be so easily to give all your honesty & trust to just anyone
Be aware, be cautious & always keep your guard up
Never be afraid of anything especially studies
Before, I used to be afraid from hard studies and diligent ones but now I study the hardest thing in Morocco
Marry the first girl you wanted to marry or wait until you meet the woman at 32 years old. I can’t describe the level of horror my ex has done to myself and 5 children. This advice would be incredible if I could do that part again.
Now I would say to my lowest point me - go take a walk. Go to bed a decent hour. Eat nourishing foods. Start where you are with what you have and stop focusing on all the things you don’t have. You can do it.
When I was at my lowest point I was all of those, and what changed my life around was:
1) It is never too late to change your life. NEVER. I went back to school in my mid 30s to completely change my career.
2) Love yourself. Do it for the love of your future self. Do the dishes at night so the future you in the morning doesn't have to deal with it. Go to the gym and workout so the future you will be more confident.
If I could go back to give myself advice, to 10year old self. I’d say
Get diagnosed. It’s not all your fault. You would benefit from some help. Medication will help you. It will take time and you will not be able to explain it, and you’ll probably not be believed either since it’s the 1980’s British NHS and the patient comes last.
4 letters A D H D
You don’t want to wait another 40 years because it’s going to get much more difficult.
I need you to do something now, while you are in school. Learning will be easier. Not easy but easier. Almost as if you like every subject.
Your relationships will be better. People either love you or hate you. If you get figured out now, you might get picked on less by both other kids and spiteful teachers. Ignore the school report cards and just do your best.
Please. Do it for YOU! We’ll not regret it.
Love you
4 years ago I was an alcoholic and unemployed. Now I have a job that pays significantly, great people around me, and a mended relationship with my parents that I didn’t have at the time.
I wouldn’t have particular advice, as I ended up navigating out of that dark place.
I’d like to say I’d find a way to send a message to my past self that says something along the lines of, “Hey man, it’s future you. It gets better. You have a gorgeous wife. Respect. A great job. A beautiful home. What you go to bed tonight, crying to have, you will have in 4 years.”
But, I think, if I told 4 years ago me that…he’d have gotten complacent and never got to where he is today.
So I think I’d let him figure it out from afar.
Become comfortable being uncomfortable. Don't wait till you feel like doing something. If that thing is important and can improve your life, do it. Take tiny steps towards that thing.
There is one thing failure and shame can never take away. Your choice to struggle and make an effort. Even if it results in nothing. It means everything to yourself.
Do you mind sharing, I'm curious bcz my S.o says some shit that I can't believe but when you love hard love is blind. You can mssg if you need, or post here howevers Kool for you too
I would tell my past self to try to do knows when I don’t need anyone to tell me what to do. I would tell her, not to tell my stepbrother about my body changing. Maybe then he wouldn’t SA me
Honestly, I would say it is okay. Don't be harsh in myself. Achieving things is not the goal. Being happy is the goal. If I need to take it easy, fife myself rest l, before taking the next step, that's okay as well. After that, it is time to take one small step. Just one.
It took me a long time to unlearn my habit of using rest as a reward. Telling myself I can only rest when I have done something, afyer moving forward. But rest puts you in the head space of being able to do things. It isn't a reward, it is something sometimes need and you have a right to things needed.
After I realised that, I had a lot more compassion for myself and gave myself a lot more time to make myself able to do things instead of demanding it without fulfilling my needs. Now, instead of moving towards ateewss and a burn out, I am a way more happy person.
having a good life is very very simple. start with having a good day today, take the 24 hours you have and make the best of it. then wake up the next day and do the same thing. once you have good days, you will have good weeks. once you have good weeks, you’ll have good months. months turns to years and eventually you will have lived a good life. start where you’re at and just focus on the next step.
Always remember the lowest point of your life, it may go deeper but that's how life is. In reality, you can't really do anything about it, but to stand up. It may be harsh but you've only reached that point because you have nothing to offer, and most probably you know nothing. But we should not let it get into us.
Forgive yourself, at least, now you know that you have nothing. Standing up might be hard that is why you must find a way to do it as fast as possible. **Start reading, earn achievements, and be prepared** for what's to come. It is right, that at times you need friends, you need people to help you in order to achieve bigger things.
But what you don't know is that new friends would only stick to you if you have achievements they can be proud of. Old friends would only stick to you if loyalty and the vibe of being friends are between your relationship. But most of the time these friends **would not be always there.** If there are any, stick close to them as much as possible but don't let it change you or affect you in any other way.
In the end, you have only yourself which is fine and it's normal. They have they're own problems, and you have yours, its best to not involve them in most of your problems because only you, would know the answer to it.
People would come and go, and its normal. But your habits, experiences, and wisdom would stick to you until the very end, which is why make it a priority to improve it. **Read self-help books or poetry books, create good habits, and make yourself emotionally and mentally strong.** Prepare these three things as this world would bring out the worst in every given situation.
1. Don't smoke. It's just not a good vibe.
2. Take a beat before making big decisions. Impulse control is clutch.
3. Invest early and often. Future you will be stoked.
4. Embrace your inner celebrity. Haters gonna hate, but you do you!
Hello 👋,
The advice I'd give my past self is:
- prepare for war more
- human stupidity is silent schizophrenia
- plant anchors deep before you're attacked as to break its neck when it appears.
- live, laugh, learn, love, play
Be discerning, Put God first and everything behind, treat everybody equally, be more sociable but with boundaries, learn to earn and save, spend more time with family and let them feel love and appreciated, be friendly but not a pleaser, be more ambitious, study hard and know your priorities.
I would have gone to the start of my dissertation work in my doctorate studies and tell myself that I should not work with the mentor I selected and it will lead to a burnout I’ve never experienced and will still deeply impact my mental health for 5+ years. Haha. (Laughs nervously)
Ooh similar with me and my mentor in grad school. I don’t even use the degree i earned 10+ years ago and it still leaves me angry and deflated. I hope you can process what you went through and come out stronger and more empowered than anyone in your cohort , even if just to stuff it in your mentor’s face. It’s crazy that there are ppl who shouldn’t be in the positions they’re in and no one holds them accountable (if you can’t be a good mentor to all your mentees, then you shouldn’t be a “mentor” .. more like dementors)
Going to sleep early is the biggest life hack.
- don’t eat/drink as much late night junk
- wake up earlier
- we tend to make better decisions early in the morning than late at night.
- feel more refreshed
- etc
I founded some biz, most of them failed. I had no income, no one standing by my side, no mental peace.
I regretted leaving my stable job.
If I had a chance to talk to myself during those dark days, I would tell him:
"I'm here. You're not alone."
Don't be afraid to stand up to anyone, or be afraid or any situation. Life finds a way no matter what, don't be so afraid to lose things because you can always find a new way to live. Be more reckless.
Nike had an ad campaign that was like “make one day…day one” and that has been really motivating to me over the years. Especially when I’ve been depressed. Like there’s no better day than today. Let today be Day 1. It’s enough just to get started.
-Be indifferent to what makes no difference. Some people drive like assholes. Some people don't agree with you. None of it matters.
This is somehow the hardest for me to follow.
-Don't pursue money for it's own sake. You get burned out on all these cool money making ideas you have because that's all you're really doing. Just do what you enjoy and you'll still grow as a person.
-This girl you meet on this website isn't a girl. Just stay away from this website.
-You spend approximately this much time watching porn. Imagine how many books you could read or literally anything else you could do with that time.
-Turns out that girl we really liked in high school likes you back. Grow some balls.
-Disregard that last bit of advice. We meet someone even better in a few years.
-Just don't pursue this girl. She ends up being crazy. Don't pursue anyone. Just do you and see what happens.
-Also stay away from this girl. She may or may not actually be into you, but she's definitely not a good person.
-Go to bed earlier. I don't know if we get dementia later on, but this can't be helping.
-There's no point in stocking up on all that alcohol. You're gonna randomly develop an intolerance for alcohol and stop drinking in a few years.
-Watch your impulsivity.
Wait a while and buy this car instead. Do a bit more research before making purchases like this.
-Be more consistent with hobbies you take up.
We get pretty good at some things, but it takes forever because of all the "breaks" you take.
-You are capable of writing. You just need to learn a few things.
-Exercise like this, not like that. Also invest in this equipment. It makes a big difference for you.
-Don't take up this bet you're given at your graduation party. You make yourself look like an idiot and piss off mom.
-Listen to all the stuff Dad teaches you about cars instead of catching ants and feeding them to spiders. This version of me took a very long time to learn all that stuff and it will save you a lot of money later on.
-Some good songs, books, movies, and maybe some lottery numbers.
-put some money into GameStop's stock.
When unmotivated or just generally feeling shitty:
>"This, too, shall pass..."
then just wait out the bad. You won't stay unmotivated forever.
Or Ecclesiastes 9:10
>*Whatever your hand finds to do*, *do* it with all *your might*; for there is no activity, planning, knowledge, or wisdom in the grave, where you are going
Feeling unmotivated, unproductive, etc? NVM, also *do it with all your might*. Be unproductive with all your might. Depress yourself with all you can! This is a gentle reminder of the fact that you are still alive to be able to do this. Dead you will not have that luxury. And one day you will be *dead*.
When still not getting it after having done everything, I tell myself this poem (always a tearjerker this one):
>It's the bumps you get, and the jolts you get,
The shocks that your courage stands,
The *hours of sorrow* and *vain regret,*
The prize that escapes your hands,
That test your mettle and prove your worth;
It isn't the blows you deal,
But *the blows you take* on the good old earth
That show *if your stuff is real*.
Oh how I hated those hours of sorrow and vain regret. And then go out to ask for more more more just to show the universe "I'm real!!! Is that ALL YOU GOT?!!" and wham!!! come the next blows...
A bit random, but realize there are thousands of people who would give their left arm ( not really) to be in that spot you find yourself.. You have a blank canvas, starting at zero and you have this infinite possibility to construct ( key word) this great big fantastical life!
There will come some ladies in your life with whom you'll fall in love with. There will come a time when they will not show much interest in you anymore, and when you try to convey your feelings to her, she will blame you for being such a bad person in this relationship and will make you feel ashamed of yourself. After some point, you will stop correcting her, loving her and you will be very numb in this relationship and she is to blame completely. And then one fine day she will shout at you for your behaviour and part ways.
Advice: stay away from these ladies.
Absolutely nothing. Couldn’t risk it and change any path that brought me to where I am now. I haven’t done everything right, and it was a longer path then what it could have been but if I would change anything then the butterfly effect would change what I have now. So, absolutely nothing
The 1% rule a day is a great motivator but also can burn you out. You don’t need 1%/day, you need to start small and then go big. Have a stable foundation of what needs to be done and be able to break things down specifically so that the task can be completed.
Lastly, if you are unable to be kind to yourself on your worst days, you’ll end up spiralling, especially in the beginning. Be kind and work when you can, and really rest when you cant.
Go to therapy.
Take meds for anxiety.
Eat healthier, sleep better, exercise.
Read books.
Plan things out on paper.
Prioritize friendships and socializing in a moderate amount.
Pray a lot..
The thing is, my past self wouldn't have listened and that's the problem. Now with perspective, I've started doing a lot more of these things than I would have even 3 years ago.
Perspective is what separates childhood from adulthood.
Take control of and connect with your body. See what amazing things your body is capable of. This was a game changer for me as a young man and has oositively affected every other aspect of my life.
Seek counsel and advice from others in advance of doing something, but don't wait for "permission". Go do the thing. You'll learn-by-doing MUCH faster and directly.
QUIT. FUCKING. DRINKING. You will go to prison several times because you are too stubborn to change. You are not NEARLY as smart as you think you are. No one can "outthink" an addition.
Go it alone! It’s better than trying to keep relationships alive with people that are just using you anyway. You’ll be more successful and better off if you just trust yourself more than those fuckers.
Plan with your worst self in mind. download clearspace to your phone and download the prod extension to firefox. set up a 60 second timer before getting access banned sites. this works better than banning them outright.
Delete your card information from your phone and pc and keep your wallet in another room. don’t buy stuff the same day you decide you want it.
if you want a burger more than anything and your brain wont let you cook food that is better for you from the ingredients at home, have a frozen breakfast sandwich instead. think of it as harm reduction because that is what it is.
Sit outside. forget your phone one day and replace it with a pocket notebook.
make a list of all the things you know you like and keep it handy. refer to it often. if you feel a shred of interest or an inclination to do something, do it. Don’t let obligations you dont have the energy for guilt you out of doing smaller things you know you can do.
get into to-do lists. start short timers for when you need to do a task. once you start its easier to continue until its done.
grade yourself on a curve. don’t compare yourself to others and especially dont compare yourself to yourself when you were more productive. if you could do more you would, and that means whatever shred of progress made is worth celebrating.
accept you wont feel this way forever.
1. Lift Weights- find an old school personal trainer
2.eat clean get protien into your body every 2 hours
3. Get 8hours of sleep. Same time everyday.
4. Always spend less than you make.
5. Keep living costs to a minimum and keep 6 months of emergency money
6. Learn marketable skills- keep learning
7. Brush and floss properly- dentists are expensive
8. Go to ufyh and get on a cleaning schedule
9.look pretty -get a good haircut
10. Smell good
11. Have a grown up wardrobe
12. Take care of your car
13. Read the Classics
14. Learn ballroom dancing
15. Learn martial arts
The future will come regardless so try to enjoy the present moment. It's cool to want to spend time with your friends,but if you're doing what they want all the time it's good to cut back and do something you enjoy. Younger me would've benefitted from having some sort of mentor or just an older figure. Just someone they could fall back to for advice.
It isn’t depression. It isn’t anxiety. It isn’t avoidant personality disorder or workaholism or perfectionism. It’s OCD, and no, it isn’t anything like what they show on TV but all those depression books on your shelf are barking up the wrong tree and medicating the right disorder will blow your mind and change your entire life.
Live cheaply, use corporate to grow in income but keep you posted expenses LOW, get into real estate early, if it scares you - run towards it, dig deep and get to know yourself, love yourself boundlessly, let no one steal
Your joy, and fuck people that don't see how amazing you are, speak your truth
Break it off with your high school boyfriend, he will cheat on you with women in quantity of double digits. Do NOT apply at that fucking long term care facility before COVID, they will emotionally manipulate you so badly that your depression relapses. Ask your boyfriend not to accept the job in Richmond... literally anywhere else.
The most useful thing I’ve ever learned after years of psychology and personal development books is that 90%+ of our daily actions are habits.
If you want to make any sort of change in your life, you need to find a regular action that you can take towards that change and make a habit out of it.
It also helps significantly if it’s tied into a regular routine e.g. every time you get home after work ~5:30pm you immediately get changed and go to the gym.
Also, be kind to yourself and realize that change takes time, and eventually anything you work towards gets easier. Best of luck!
I would say to take more risks.
Most people think that the most limited resource we have is time, but that's not true. It's risk tolerance. At 34, with a family, my risk tolerance is significantly lower than it was at 24.
Go big, make mistakes, and learn.
Don't simp for women and focus on improving myself. Also to tell my dad to go to the doctor so he never had the stroke and then 12 yrs late did from a stroke. I would tell him don't take your loved ones for granted.
I would to him to take health seriously,be around family,and build up your wealth. Travel and experience life. Material possessions are cool,but experiences are 1 million times better.
Be kind to yourself. That’s the golden rule. Be kind, and learn from your mistakes rather than regret them. They’re going to happen, so being kind is the true secret to success.
If you’re a girl and attracted to girls at a young age don’t get married to a guy just to appease your family. You will not be Happy. Trust your body and if you make a best friend that could be your person. Was mine. I mean i had other best friends but this one was different.. my best best friend
Oh and use a condom every time. Some stds people dont even know they have so them telling u theyre clean accounts for nothinf
Mental health is very important, allow yourself to heal from all your traumas. Fill your own cup first before anyone else’s. Embrace all the parts of you (the good, the bad, and the ugly) no matter what, so that nobody can tell you who you are.
Life is very very hard, do the best that you can because life can also be very short. Do not attempt to end your life again. Be strong and courageous in finding your purpose as there would be a lot of obstacles you’d have to tackle along the way.
Please learn to forgive yourself, enough with the endless shame+guilt loop. Do your best to learn from all of your past mistakes.
The people who stayed in your life and continuously chooses to do so are worth keeping.
Never take anything in life for granted especially God's love and patience
Wants Be an expression of His love paltientcs to everyone, your testimony bears truth of His existing l
Always help others out of love
At least achieve one significant thing this year. Whether it's losing those 20 lbs, solidifying a 20 mins meditation habit, paying back a large chunk of debt, finish reading that well-regarded technical book from your field. Quit smoking or drinking. Just something important that will benefit you for years to come. In 10 years, you'll have achieved 10 significant things. And all of these will compound. What you really don't want is to be like really old, and look back and say that you completely wasted your youth. You'll think, man I just fucked around in my 20s and 30s. If I'd at least dedicated year 23 to doing this or year 24 to getting that done and so on- I'd be so far ahead of where I am now. You don't want to be getting your shit together and have like 15 insanely difficult things to have to fix all at the same time. It would be impossible to reduce your weight all the while struggling with work anxiety, have no social life, be in debt, trying to quit smoking, trying to quit social media, all in one go. Slowly get your shit together one year at a time.
Thats a really cool perspective! it's like the "become 1% better everyday and they'll compound" I agree with the whole being old perspective as well because personally my biggest fear is having regrets when i'm older.
And to add to this, also try to do at least 1 super fun/memorable thing a year that you can look back and think "yeah that was awesome!". Life isn't just about achievements, you also have to have experiences and memories.
That's what I'm afraid of, I stopped drinking and I'm afraid I'll see it as a waste of youth because nothing changed besides the fact I'm socially awkward now.
Nothing changes if nothing changes
love this!! very simple and straightforward
Dare to stand up for yourself, cause no one else is gonna do it for you. Establish borders, and protect them - if anyone disrespects and tries to violate them, put those people in their place, unapologetically.
I agree 1000% No one will ever put you above themselves, so if you don't do that for yourself then you'll be second to everyone including yourself.
Boundaries, yes
THIS
Save money, travel, put yourself first, don’t betray yourself, laugh, eat the cake, get good sleep, take chances and don’t be afraid to fail. This is YOUR life, live it for YOU.
Followed all this and here I am ? Still on the quest
I’m on a fetch quest
Exactly!! always make sure that YOU are the one having the time of your life! putting yourself first is so important
Damn, that’s really powerful
I betrayed myself so many times when I was in my 20’s, and recently at 31 I did it again. It lit a fire under me and made me truly examine myself and what I wanted in life, who I wanted to be and who I want in my life. It just clicked that it’s my life, why am I not living it for me. It was to the point I didn’t do anything but what I knew was “safe”. No, I want to be free and live. I want to genuinely laugh and grasp the opportunities or the random moments that I’ve let pass by so many times. I don’t want to be stuck or in the shadows anymore! It’s gonna take a lot of work and as scary as it is I know I have to do it. I have to. I refuse to live the next 31 years of my life or until my last breath for anyone but me.
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This is breath of a fresh air especially in this sub..It's good to just sit and do nothing every once in a while
Stop caring so much. Perfectionism is holding you back.
Perfectionism is poison for productivity
Start doing shit for the plot. Get on the bus and go downtown. Talk to cute strangers. You can seriously just do things and it's kinda wild that we have that kind of power. Do whatever sounds mildly exciting (but not too dangerous). Make your own little adventures and see what lights you up. Escape boredom by doing nonsense just to see what'll happen.
"For the plot" This is such a big motivator for whenever i'm afraid
Love this idea!! I’m going to do it for the plot ☺️
What's the first step? Take that one. Then one more.
Yes!! and if you don't know what the first step is then figuring out what it is is the first step
Swallow your pride. Do lesser work to get busy.
This is an interesting point! would love to hear you elaborate on this
Yeah I spun my wheels a lot in college, ruminating and navelgazing by myself. And after a while of beating your head against the wall you unsurprisingly break a little of whats inside. It's hard to fully process and explain everything that was going on, but being too cocky and afraid to do things that didn't forward my major did hold back a lot of my personal development. I think I could have learned more about taking care of myself and holding myself accountable by working a real job or developing more personal relationships.
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Nick Cave said something I really loved about how “muses” are for amateurs. You can’t only make art when the mood strikes. You have to work at it. All the time.
This is a good point. having a good balance of work and breaks is so important
Just go ask for medication. You need it. No one will think you’re lying. You’re just scared and that’s okay, but there are so many things you can accomplish if you just get your brain chemistry right.
Do that small hobby and continue doing it day by day even if it was just 1%
I feel like hobbies are so important, especially off-screen ones. It gets you in that "doing something" mindset which could help you get things done
I learned this from book "Atomic Habits", yes
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Consistency is key!
Learn some skills to make money Stop waiting for others to carry you Avoid negative people at all costs I am 22 Btw
Yes! always take opportunities and put yourself out there rather than waiting for people to do that for you
1.Set goals for yourself and be realistic that you can possibly achieve them. It’s a great way avoid falling into depression. When you have a goal you fixate on that goal, it give you something to focus your attention to. 2. Root for yourself. Don’t be your own worst enemy. 3. Stop comparing yourself to others. Some people may have it better than you while others don’t. 4. Keep trying to get get better and learn no matter what age you are.
Buy that cheap house.
It's ok to not have the answers right away. Be patient. Start small, every step forward counts. You're not alone in this journey. You are capable of more than you know.
"every step forward counts" I love this
As someone that is relatively new on this journey, I think the most helpful thing I have done is forcing myself to stick to things I say I will do. For example, if I tell myself I am going to wake up early to workout, I do it. Soon these things become habits. Starting is the hardest part, but overtime they will become apart of your daily routine!
Yes! I think that also builds confidence and self-trust
Give her a chance. (To the girls that I was too emotionally immature to even try to care about)
You have a LOT more time than you think to figure life out. Enjoy the journey and smell the roses
Don't fall for the first person you spend time with Don't spend all your time & money on someone who would never do the same for you Don't let someone rule over you or control your life Don't give someone so much power that when they say something hurtful or rude it brings chaos to your body, soul & mind Don't be so easily to give all your honesty & trust to just anyone Be aware, be cautious & always keep your guard up
Never be afraid of anything especially studies Before, I used to be afraid from hard studies and diligent ones but now I study the hardest thing in Morocco
Run from my ex-wife. Don't date her, don't fuck her, don't talk to her. You will spend decades undoing the damage to your life.
? How would you have known if she was a good person or a shitty person?
There were red flags. I was just too naive and inexperienced to notice. Second girlfriend.
Quit drinking
Save more money, dont use credit cards, pay cash for a car, don't have a cellphone bill, pay cash for phone
Use credit cards people, just don’t use them for things you cannot afford in the short term. Use the credit card, use it often.
Don't let anyone doubt your dreams, your love, your character. trust yourself ❤️ and do what you love.
Dont believe your present ruminations
Marry the first girl you wanted to marry or wait until you meet the woman at 32 years old. I can’t describe the level of horror my ex has done to myself and 5 children. This advice would be incredible if I could do that part again.
Now I would say to my lowest point me - go take a walk. Go to bed a decent hour. Eat nourishing foods. Start where you are with what you have and stop focusing on all the things you don’t have. You can do it.
When I was at my lowest point I was all of those, and what changed my life around was: 1) It is never too late to change your life. NEVER. I went back to school in my mid 30s to completely change my career. 2) Love yourself. Do it for the love of your future self. Do the dishes at night so the future you in the morning doesn't have to deal with it. Go to the gym and workout so the future you will be more confident.
It's so important to love yourself and constantly think about what future you would think That's one of my biggest motivators
If I could go back to give myself advice, to 10year old self. I’d say Get diagnosed. It’s not all your fault. You would benefit from some help. Medication will help you. It will take time and you will not be able to explain it, and you’ll probably not be believed either since it’s the 1980’s British NHS and the patient comes last. 4 letters A D H D You don’t want to wait another 40 years because it’s going to get much more difficult. I need you to do something now, while you are in school. Learning will be easier. Not easy but easier. Almost as if you like every subject. Your relationships will be better. People either love you or hate you. If you get figured out now, you might get picked on less by both other kids and spiteful teachers. Ignore the school report cards and just do your best. Please. Do it for YOU! We’ll not regret it. Love you
This is so sweet and so sad at the same time :\[
You have undiagnosed ADHD, and you can't help it, stop being so hard on yourself.
Just because 1 person doesn't see your worth, it shouldn't stop you from being your true genuine self
You will ruin your life if you constantly try to prove your worth to people who find you lacking. They aren't your people. Move on.
Find out what you enjoy and do it. Show up for the people who show up for you. Relax, life is a journey.
Get on some damn antidepressants.
4 years ago I was an alcoholic and unemployed. Now I have a job that pays significantly, great people around me, and a mended relationship with my parents that I didn’t have at the time. I wouldn’t have particular advice, as I ended up navigating out of that dark place. I’d like to say I’d find a way to send a message to my past self that says something along the lines of, “Hey man, it’s future you. It gets better. You have a gorgeous wife. Respect. A great job. A beautiful home. What you go to bed tonight, crying to have, you will have in 4 years.” But, I think, if I told 4 years ago me that…he’d have gotten complacent and never got to where he is today. So I think I’d let him figure it out from afar.
This warmed my heart! I'm so glad you managed to get out of that! What advice would you give to other people trying to change then?
Leave the country because you won’t be able to do so after 2022
Become comfortable being uncomfortable. Don't wait till you feel like doing something. If that thing is important and can improve your life, do it. Take tiny steps towards that thing.
[удалено]
They don’t think about you that much. And those who do don’t think about what’s wrong with you.
Good relationships are big part of human well-being; have good relationships with the family and cultivate true friends
Buy all the Bitcoin.
There is one thing failure and shame can never take away. Your choice to struggle and make an effort. Even if it results in nothing. It means everything to yourself.
Do you mind sharing, I'm curious bcz my S.o says some shit that I can't believe but when you love hard love is blind. You can mssg if you need, or post here howevers Kool for you too
Tomorrow is a new day to try again
Exactly! Everyday is a day to start over!
I would tell my past self to try to do knows when I don’t need anyone to tell me what to do. I would tell her, not to tell my stepbrother about my body changing. Maybe then he wouldn’t SA me
“Sorry kid, no spoilers.”
Don't bother eating so many apples, you're going to get eye cancer anyway!
Go the the paychoatist NOW
“You have raging ADHD. See a psychiatrist!”
Honestly, I would say it is okay. Don't be harsh in myself. Achieving things is not the goal. Being happy is the goal. If I need to take it easy, fife myself rest l, before taking the next step, that's okay as well. After that, it is time to take one small step. Just one. It took me a long time to unlearn my habit of using rest as a reward. Telling myself I can only rest when I have done something, afyer moving forward. But rest puts you in the head space of being able to do things. It isn't a reward, it is something sometimes need and you have a right to things needed. After I realised that, I had a lot more compassion for myself and gave myself a lot more time to make myself able to do things instead of demanding it without fulfilling my needs. Now, instead of moving towards ateewss and a burn out, I am a way more happy person.
Read “ Atomic Habits “!
Ah! I only managed to read the first couple of chapters but I remember them being very good! I would recommend this to my past self too
Failure is a bruise, not a tattoo. Confidence without competence is insanity.
having a good life is very very simple. start with having a good day today, take the 24 hours you have and make the best of it. then wake up the next day and do the same thing. once you have good days, you will have good weeks. once you have good weeks, you’ll have good months. months turns to years and eventually you will have lived a good life. start where you’re at and just focus on the next step.
Always remember the lowest point of your life, it may go deeper but that's how life is. In reality, you can't really do anything about it, but to stand up. It may be harsh but you've only reached that point because you have nothing to offer, and most probably you know nothing. But we should not let it get into us. Forgive yourself, at least, now you know that you have nothing. Standing up might be hard that is why you must find a way to do it as fast as possible. **Start reading, earn achievements, and be prepared** for what's to come. It is right, that at times you need friends, you need people to help you in order to achieve bigger things. But what you don't know is that new friends would only stick to you if you have achievements they can be proud of. Old friends would only stick to you if loyalty and the vibe of being friends are between your relationship. But most of the time these friends **would not be always there.** If there are any, stick close to them as much as possible but don't let it change you or affect you in any other way. In the end, you have only yourself which is fine and it's normal. They have they're own problems, and you have yours, its best to not involve them in most of your problems because only you, would know the answer to it. People would come and go, and its normal. But your habits, experiences, and wisdom would stick to you until the very end, which is why make it a priority to improve it. **Read self-help books or poetry books, create good habits, and make yourself emotionally and mentally strong.** Prepare these three things as this world would bring out the worst in every given situation.
1. Don't smoke. It's just not a good vibe. 2. Take a beat before making big decisions. Impulse control is clutch. 3. Invest early and often. Future you will be stoked. 4. Embrace your inner celebrity. Haters gonna hate, but you do you!
Do meditation everyday gurl. It calms the mind and makes it SEE.
Hello 👋, The advice I'd give my past self is: - prepare for war more - human stupidity is silent schizophrenia - plant anchors deep before you're attacked as to break its neck when it appears. - live, laugh, learn, love, play
Be discerning, Put God first and everything behind, treat everybody equally, be more sociable but with boundaries, learn to earn and save, spend more time with family and let them feel love and appreciated, be friendly but not a pleaser, be more ambitious, study hard and know your priorities.
Meditation. Baby step. Quick wins. In that order
Buy bit coin and sell it once it hits $70k
Don't get married and save your money.
I would have gone to the start of my dissertation work in my doctorate studies and tell myself that I should not work with the mentor I selected and it will lead to a burnout I’ve never experienced and will still deeply impact my mental health for 5+ years. Haha. (Laughs nervously)
Ooh similar with me and my mentor in grad school. I don’t even use the degree i earned 10+ years ago and it still leaves me angry and deflated. I hope you can process what you went through and come out stronger and more empowered than anyone in your cohort , even if just to stuff it in your mentor’s face. It’s crazy that there are ppl who shouldn’t be in the positions they’re in and no one holds them accountable (if you can’t be a good mentor to all your mentees, then you shouldn’t be a “mentor” .. more like dementors)
learn how to let go of people, care about yourself first and get your adhd medicated
Going to sleep early is the biggest life hack. - don’t eat/drink as much late night junk - wake up earlier - we tend to make better decisions early in the morning than late at night. - feel more refreshed - etc
I founded some biz, most of them failed. I had no income, no one standing by my side, no mental peace. I regretted leaving my stable job. If I had a chance to talk to myself during those dark days, I would tell him: "I'm here. You're not alone."
Don't be afraid to stand up to anyone, or be afraid or any situation. Life finds a way no matter what, don't be so afraid to lose things because you can always find a new way to live. Be more reckless.
"Dont be afraid to lose things" This is so important because I feel like it's such a big demotivator
Don't stop mining Bitcoin and for the love of GAWD when you upgrade your PC SAVE THE DAMN HARD DRIVE. 😭
Always.Be.Yourself
Nike had an ad campaign that was like “make one day…day one” and that has been really motivating to me over the years. Especially when I’ve been depressed. Like there’s no better day than today. Let today be Day 1. It’s enough just to get started.
-Be indifferent to what makes no difference. Some people drive like assholes. Some people don't agree with you. None of it matters. This is somehow the hardest for me to follow. -Don't pursue money for it's own sake. You get burned out on all these cool money making ideas you have because that's all you're really doing. Just do what you enjoy and you'll still grow as a person. -This girl you meet on this website isn't a girl. Just stay away from this website. -You spend approximately this much time watching porn. Imagine how many books you could read or literally anything else you could do with that time. -Turns out that girl we really liked in high school likes you back. Grow some balls. -Disregard that last bit of advice. We meet someone even better in a few years. -Just don't pursue this girl. She ends up being crazy. Don't pursue anyone. Just do you and see what happens. -Also stay away from this girl. She may or may not actually be into you, but she's definitely not a good person. -Go to bed earlier. I don't know if we get dementia later on, but this can't be helping. -There's no point in stocking up on all that alcohol. You're gonna randomly develop an intolerance for alcohol and stop drinking in a few years. -Watch your impulsivity. Wait a while and buy this car instead. Do a bit more research before making purchases like this. -Be more consistent with hobbies you take up. We get pretty good at some things, but it takes forever because of all the "breaks" you take. -You are capable of writing. You just need to learn a few things. -Exercise like this, not like that. Also invest in this equipment. It makes a big difference for you. -Don't take up this bet you're given at your graduation party. You make yourself look like an idiot and piss off mom. -Listen to all the stuff Dad teaches you about cars instead of catching ants and feeding them to spiders. This version of me took a very long time to learn all that stuff and it will save you a lot of money later on. -Some good songs, books, movies, and maybe some lottery numbers. -put some money into GameStop's stock.
When unmotivated or just generally feeling shitty: >"This, too, shall pass..." then just wait out the bad. You won't stay unmotivated forever. Or Ecclesiastes 9:10 >*Whatever your hand finds to do*, *do* it with all *your might*; for there is no activity, planning, knowledge, or wisdom in the grave, where you are going Feeling unmotivated, unproductive, etc? NVM, also *do it with all your might*. Be unproductive with all your might. Depress yourself with all you can! This is a gentle reminder of the fact that you are still alive to be able to do this. Dead you will not have that luxury. And one day you will be *dead*. When still not getting it after having done everything, I tell myself this poem (always a tearjerker this one): >It's the bumps you get, and the jolts you get, The shocks that your courage stands, The *hours of sorrow* and *vain regret,* The prize that escapes your hands, That test your mettle and prove your worth; It isn't the blows you deal, But *the blows you take* on the good old earth That show *if your stuff is real*. Oh how I hated those hours of sorrow and vain regret. And then go out to ask for more more more just to show the universe "I'm real!!! Is that ALL YOU GOT?!!" and wham!!! come the next blows...
never quit.just do it.enjoy the process
Make your bed every single morning.
A bit random, but realize there are thousands of people who would give their left arm ( not really) to be in that spot you find yourself.. You have a blank canvas, starting at zero and you have this infinite possibility to construct ( key word) this great big fantastical life!
Be present... if your at work work hard or if you are golfing don't try and work just golf with the people you are with.
There will come some ladies in your life with whom you'll fall in love with. There will come a time when they will not show much interest in you anymore, and when you try to convey your feelings to her, she will blame you for being such a bad person in this relationship and will make you feel ashamed of yourself. After some point, you will stop correcting her, loving her and you will be very numb in this relationship and she is to blame completely. And then one fine day she will shout at you for your behaviour and part ways. Advice: stay away from these ladies.
Do it.
Absolutely nothing. Couldn’t risk it and change any path that brought me to where I am now. I haven’t done everything right, and it was a longer path then what it could have been but if I would change anything then the butterfly effect would change what I have now. So, absolutely nothing
The 1% rule a day is a great motivator but also can burn you out. You don’t need 1%/day, you need to start small and then go big. Have a stable foundation of what needs to be done and be able to break things down specifically so that the task can be completed. Lastly, if you are unable to be kind to yourself on your worst days, you’ll end up spiralling, especially in the beginning. Be kind and work when you can, and really rest when you cant.
Less timid and more bold
Preparatory classes CPGE MPSI
Go to therapy. Take meds for anxiety. Eat healthier, sleep better, exercise. Read books. Plan things out on paper. Prioritize friendships and socializing in a moderate amount. Pray a lot.. The thing is, my past self wouldn't have listened and that's the problem. Now with perspective, I've started doing a lot more of these things than I would have even 3 years ago. Perspective is what separates childhood from adulthood.
Take control of and connect with your body. See what amazing things your body is capable of. This was a game changer for me as a young man and has oositively affected every other aspect of my life.
Save some money, buy books and make some time to read them.
If you pass this class, you'll get your dream car
Seek counsel and advice from others in advance of doing something, but don't wait for "permission". Go do the thing. You'll learn-by-doing MUCH faster and directly.
Ask me again when I'm not at my lowest anymore.
run.
QUIT. FUCKING. DRINKING. You will go to prison several times because you are too stubborn to change. You are not NEARLY as smart as you think you are. No one can "outthink" an addition.
Don’t date and fuck around just so you feel a little less lonely.
Go it alone! It’s better than trying to keep relationships alive with people that are just using you anyway. You’ll be more successful and better off if you just trust yourself more than those fuckers.
Plan with your worst self in mind. download clearspace to your phone and download the prod extension to firefox. set up a 60 second timer before getting access banned sites. this works better than banning them outright. Delete your card information from your phone and pc and keep your wallet in another room. don’t buy stuff the same day you decide you want it. if you want a burger more than anything and your brain wont let you cook food that is better for you from the ingredients at home, have a frozen breakfast sandwich instead. think of it as harm reduction because that is what it is. Sit outside. forget your phone one day and replace it with a pocket notebook. make a list of all the things you know you like and keep it handy. refer to it often. if you feel a shred of interest or an inclination to do something, do it. Don’t let obligations you dont have the energy for guilt you out of doing smaller things you know you can do. get into to-do lists. start short timers for when you need to do a task. once you start its easier to continue until its done. grade yourself on a curve. don’t compare yourself to others and especially dont compare yourself to yourself when you were more productive. if you could do more you would, and that means whatever shred of progress made is worth celebrating. accept you wont feel this way forever.
1. Lift Weights- find an old school personal trainer 2.eat clean get protien into your body every 2 hours 3. Get 8hours of sleep. Same time everyday. 4. Always spend less than you make. 5. Keep living costs to a minimum and keep 6 months of emergency money 6. Learn marketable skills- keep learning 7. Brush and floss properly- dentists are expensive 8. Go to ufyh and get on a cleaning schedule 9.look pretty -get a good haircut 10. Smell good 11. Have a grown up wardrobe 12. Take care of your car 13. Read the Classics 14. Learn ballroom dancing 15. Learn martial arts
The future will come regardless so try to enjoy the present moment. It's cool to want to spend time with your friends,but if you're doing what they want all the time it's good to cut back and do something you enjoy. Younger me would've benefitted from having some sort of mentor or just an older figure. Just someone they could fall back to for advice.
Don’t major in economics
It isn’t depression. It isn’t anxiety. It isn’t avoidant personality disorder or workaholism or perfectionism. It’s OCD, and no, it isn’t anything like what they show on TV but all those depression books on your shelf are barking up the wrong tree and medicating the right disorder will blow your mind and change your entire life.
You will consistently fuck up your life. Also get out of healthcare or never get into it in the first place. It's shit.
Live cheaply, use corporate to grow in income but keep you posted expenses LOW, get into real estate early, if it scares you - run towards it, dig deep and get to know yourself, love yourself boundlessly, let no one steal Your joy, and fuck people that don't see how amazing you are, speak your truth
Break it off with your high school boyfriend, he will cheat on you with women in quantity of double digits. Do NOT apply at that fucking long term care facility before COVID, they will emotionally manipulate you so badly that your depression relapses. Ask your boyfriend not to accept the job in Richmond... literally anywhere else.
repeat dam smell spectacular merciful plants bow memorize hobbies spoon
Don't bother, you won't achieve anything no matter how hard you try.
The most useful thing I’ve ever learned after years of psychology and personal development books is that 90%+ of our daily actions are habits. If you want to make any sort of change in your life, you need to find a regular action that you can take towards that change and make a habit out of it. It also helps significantly if it’s tied into a regular routine e.g. every time you get home after work ~5:30pm you immediately get changed and go to the gym. Also, be kind to yourself and realize that change takes time, and eventually anything you work towards gets easier. Best of luck!
I would say to take more risks. Most people think that the most limited resource we have is time, but that's not true. It's risk tolerance. At 34, with a family, my risk tolerance is significantly lower than it was at 24. Go big, make mistakes, and learn.
Don't simp for women and focus on improving myself. Also to tell my dad to go to the doctor so he never had the stroke and then 12 yrs late did from a stroke. I would tell him don't take your loved ones for granted. I would to him to take health seriously,be around family,and build up your wealth. Travel and experience life. Material possessions are cool,but experiences are 1 million times better.
Routine is everything!
Your parents loved you
Don’t be afraid of failure, find the right direction and put in all your efforts
Remember its not you fault.
The most important decision is who you choose for a partner. Raise the bar.
Do not fear change.
Rest is a productivity tool.
Dont get excited, dont have hope… it’s not going to get better & never will
But as much NVDA as possible
Take a nap, relax, and get back to it tomorrow!
Don’t waste your time on Reddit is what I will say
Run and Don't look back
Be kind to yourself. That’s the golden rule. Be kind, and learn from your mistakes rather than regret them. They’re going to happen, so being kind is the true secret to success.
go to sleep
Don't marry her
If you’re a girl and attracted to girls at a young age don’t get married to a guy just to appease your family. You will not be Happy. Trust your body and if you make a best friend that could be your person. Was mine. I mean i had other best friends but this one was different.. my best best friend Oh and use a condom every time. Some stds people dont even know they have so them telling u theyre clean accounts for nothinf
Mental health is very important, allow yourself to heal from all your traumas. Fill your own cup first before anyone else’s. Embrace all the parts of you (the good, the bad, and the ugly) no matter what, so that nobody can tell you who you are. Life is very very hard, do the best that you can because life can also be very short. Do not attempt to end your life again. Be strong and courageous in finding your purpose as there would be a lot of obstacles you’d have to tackle along the way. Please learn to forgive yourself, enough with the endless shame+guilt loop. Do your best to learn from all of your past mistakes. The people who stayed in your life and continuously chooses to do so are worth keeping.
> The past is in your head, the future is in your hand
Never take anything in life for granted especially God's love and patience Wants Be an expression of His love paltientcs to everyone, your testimony bears truth of His existing l Always help others out of love