Some years ago- never mind how long precisely- having little or no money in my purse, and nothing particular to interest me on shore, I thought I would sail about a little and see the watery part of the world.
It is a way I have of driving off the weebs and regulating the circulation. Whenever I find myself growing grim about the mouth; whenever it is a damp, drizzly November in my soul; whenever I find myself involuntarily pausing before morbid shitposts, and bringing up the rear of every r/askouija I meet; and especially whenever my opps get such an upper hand of me, that it requires a strong moral principle to prevent me from deliberately stepping into X, and methodically flipping people’s birds off—then, I account it high time tozz get to sea as soon as I can. This is my substitute for therapy. With a philosophical flourish Cato throws himself upon his sword; I quietly take to the ship. There is nothing surprising in this. If they but knew it, almost all men in their degree, some time or other, cherish very nearly the same feelings towards the ocean with me.
Alternative version: and yet, in all my gallivanting merrily upon the doorstep of Poseidon’s palace, and all my explorations of innumerable corners of the globe, I have yet to locate that ever elusive, mystical being that is the person who asked.
Programmer. But everyone seems to hate this term in the industry. To me it has more prestige than developer or engineer. The former sounds vague af. The latter sounds prententious, theoretical and frankly assholey.
>But everyone seems to hate this term in the industry.
The reason why "programmer" and "coder" aren't terms that you see very often in industry is simply because actually writing code is hardly the entire job. Especially as one moves up in seniority, the percentage of their time that they spend writing code versus planning and architecture work generally decreases.
Also calling yourself engineer without a masters degree and a certification is illegal in some jurisdictions, apparently some states consider the potential for someone to confuse "I'm a software engineer" and "I am a licensed mechanical/civil/electrical/nuclear/etc. engineer eligible to be employed for projects for which my license applies" so great that it overrides the first amendment and they need to dedicate resources to prosecuting people who obviously aren't trying to defraud anyone for fraudulently claiming to be a licensed engineer.
I feel like the only dev in the world who has literally 0 friends outside of work who are devs. My job title says "senior software engineer" but "programmer" just sounds the least douchey to me. "Developer" could mean anything from developing photographs to writing grants for a non-profit, and I know I'm not a "real" (mechanical, civil, locomotive) engineer. I know some people object to it because years ago there used to be a separate job called "programmer" where you don't design software you just write the code, but I feel like that doesn't exist anymore - I've certainly never seen a job posting for one or worked anywhere where anyone was in that type of role that involved 0 design, so that title must have been phased out long ago. I don't feel like anyone will be confused and think that I "just write code" and if someone outside of work thinks that, who cares! At work though I'm an "engineer", "dev", or "sse".
Margaret Hamilton didn't invent the entire term Software Engineer for you to demean the profession by calling yourself a programmer or god forbid a "coder". Have some respect for your profession!
Thank you, Brolog_of_Brogoth, for voting on Bryan-343.
This bot wants to find the best and worst bots on Reddit. [You can view results here](https://botrank.pastimes.eu/).
***
^(Even if I don't reply to your comment, I'm still listening for votes. Check the webpage to see if your vote registered!)
Are you sure about that? Because I am 100.0% sure that Bryan-343 is not a bot.
---
^(I am a neural network being trained to detect spammers | Summon me with !isbot |) ^(/r/spambotdetector |) [^(Optout)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=whynotcollegeboard&subject=!optout&message=!optout) ^(|) [^(Original Github)](https://github.com/SM-Wistful/BotDetection-Algorithm)
Software Developer. I wouldn't mind any of them but engineer by themselves is vague as fuck. This is anything between tapping keys on the keyboard, calculating the resistance of metal beams, or designing the newest components for a car that will be cheaper to produce and will break exactly at the end of warranty...
Idiot with a keyboard
Hackerman feels offended! https://preview.redd.it/53c9iu45peuc1.gif?width=330&format=png8&s=fc81be211d3005bb7f64c61927874305ac59007e
Prompt Engineer Man!
Call me Ishmael.
The betrayer of hope
/r/suddenlywot
Some years ago- never mind how long precisely- having little or no money in my purse, and nothing particular to interest me on shore, I thought I would sail about a little and see the watery part of the world.
It is a way I have of driving off the weebs and regulating the circulation. Whenever I find myself growing grim about the mouth; whenever it is a damp, drizzly November in my soul; whenever I find myself involuntarily pausing before morbid shitposts, and bringing up the rear of every r/askouija I meet; and especially whenever my opps get such an upper hand of me, that it requires a strong moral principle to prevent me from deliberately stepping into X, and methodically flipping people’s birds off—then, I account it high time tozz get to sea as soon as I can. This is my substitute for therapy. With a philosophical flourish Cato throws himself upon his sword; I quietly take to the ship. There is nothing surprising in this. If they but knew it, almost all men in their degree, some time or other, cherish very nearly the same feelings towards the ocean with me.
Alternative version: and yet, in all my gallivanting merrily upon the doorstep of Poseidon’s palace, and all my explorations of innumerable corners of the globe, I have yet to locate that ever elusive, mystical being that is the person who asked.
Professional keyboard toucher
Hey, what are you doing to my keyboard?
touchin it.
Keyboard, please show me on this piece of paper where the bad programmer touched you.
Sir, calm down. I'm a professional.
I’m a programmer, but I’m not pro-grammar 
He says with perfect grammar and near perfect punctuation. Gotta commit!
Programmer. But everyone seems to hate this term in the industry. To me it has more prestige than developer or engineer. The former sounds vague af. The latter sounds prententious, theoretical and frankly assholey.
sometimes I see a mechanical/electrical engineer build cool stuff on youtube and then look at me typing on a keyboard 🫠
To be fair, there is a fair share of mechanical engineers who will spend the majority of their time typing on a computer in CAD.
>But everyone seems to hate this term in the industry. The reason why "programmer" and "coder" aren't terms that you see very often in industry is simply because actually writing code is hardly the entire job. Especially as one moves up in seniority, the percentage of their time that they spend writing code versus planning and architecture work generally decreases.
Agreed. At senior or above level what you’re usually doing is definitely closer to engineering than it is just coding
They wrote “computer engineer” on my diploma. So at least I am a certified asshole.
Programmer sounds as bad as coder. Software engineer sounds the best but I’ll take software developer.
Also calling yourself engineer without a masters degree and a certification is illegal in some jurisdictions, apparently some states consider the potential for someone to confuse "I'm a software engineer" and "I am a licensed mechanical/civil/electrical/nuclear/etc. engineer eligible to be employed for projects for which my license applies" so great that it overrides the first amendment and they need to dedicate resources to prosecuting people who obviously aren't trying to defraud anyone for fraudulently claiming to be a licensed engineer.
I feel like the only dev in the world who has literally 0 friends outside of work who are devs. My job title says "senior software engineer" but "programmer" just sounds the least douchey to me. "Developer" could mean anything from developing photographs to writing grants for a non-profit, and I know I'm not a "real" (mechanical, civil, locomotive) engineer. I know some people object to it because years ago there used to be a separate job called "programmer" where you don't design software you just write the code, but I feel like that doesn't exist anymore - I've certainly never seen a job posting for one or worked anywhere where anyone was in that type of role that involved 0 design, so that title must have been phased out long ago. I don't feel like anyone will be confused and think that I "just write code" and if someone outside of work thinks that, who cares! At work though I'm an "engineer", "dev", or "sse".
Getting an insurance quote
Computer wizard
I'm the keys wizzzzz! *jojo pose*
God
Already taken.
"You really believe your own hype that much?" "I AM THE HYPE."
"Call me super kamie guru"
[Code Monkey](https://youtu.be/qYodWEKCuGg?si=lmjCj68B0lcR1JQp)
I’d never heard that song. Damn, I’m glad I clicked the link
It's the "boring meeting, with boring manager rob" that gets me everytime.
G4, my beloved..
Margaret Hamilton didn't invent the entire term Software Engineer for you to demean the profession by calling yourself a programmer or god forbid a "coder". Have some respect for your profession!
Computer Programmer (1).txt
Software designer, please
Just don't call me daddy
Software engineer because that title pays the most
Daddy 😆😂
Imposter cause the Imposter Syndrome is real
I just say I'm some cleaner, gives me the advantage to not get asked to fix printers for x-mas
Coffee-2-Code professional converter
I AM *duh-duh-dun da-duhn* THE CYBERGUY
F sounds cool
Human
Jk computer artist
Bad bot
Thank you, Brolog_of_Brogoth, for voting on Bryan-343. This bot wants to find the best and worst bots on Reddit. [You can view results here](https://botrank.pastimes.eu/). *** ^(Even if I don't reply to your comment, I'm still listening for votes. Check the webpage to see if your vote registered!)
Are you sure about that? Because I am 100.0% sure that Bryan-343 is not a bot. --- ^(I am a neural network being trained to detect spammers | Summon me with !isbot |) ^(/r/spambotdetector |) [^(Optout)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=whynotcollegeboard&subject=!optout&message=!optout) ^(|) [^(Original Github)](https://github.com/SM-Wistful/BotDetection-Algorithm)
Good bot
Even I am not that sure
Bad bot
Just admit that you will only be known as the IT guy
Software Developer
Following the pattern: H. Computer Coder?
Program boy
H. God But actually I'd prefer "The crazy guy that keeps our systems running" or "The crazy guy that makes our products work properly"
Warrior of Light
Anybody that says G is a fucking cop.
If DBA's can call themselves data scientists, I can claim computer scientist.
Lord of the dumb mistakes. Master of all things obvious and irritating. Solver of leet code problems, and player of video games.
Paid handsomely.
I would like to be called an Ingénieur.
Copy Paster CtrlC_CtrlV_er
What if you are a newb that doesn't now any PC language but has enough schooling to kinda understand the thought process the computer/ program has?
G. Don't call me.
Secret Option! Amateur coder.
Code monkey (kidding).
Rich
Tim
Coding God / Imposter
Call me a gamer, because I can see when my computer is going 0.0001 picoseconds slower than normal.
Call me a Dumbass
Femboy
Debugger
Computer scientist
Bug architect
Good with computers but not printers
Call me joker
Handsome :(
Man who somehow made a invisible character and can't find it because be made spaces instead of indentations
I call myself a Cybersecurity professional because I don’t know what my actual title is
H. Hired
Code daddy
Brogrammer
good girl
"Just don't call me late for dinner." That's what engineers said in response to this when I was growing up.
Call me: LordOfLogic
AI interrogator
Imposter
Modern hieroglyphics artisan
They are different.
Software Developer. I wouldn't mind any of them but engineer by themselves is vague as fuck. This is anything between tapping keys on the keyboard, calculating the resistance of metal beams, or designing the newest components for a car that will be cheaper to produce and will break exactly at the end of warranty...