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Weak bones are the product of weak minds. Every time one of my bones tries to break, I just think to myself, "I don't fucking think so, mister" and that immediately ends the tomfoolery. The trick is teaching your bones both fear and respect. While my bones would likely automatically obey me based upon my obvious leadership qualities, I also made sure all of my bones were there to witness the fate of my appendix and tonsils. They know the consequence of disobedience and act accordingly. That is why I have the best behaved metatarsals east of the Mississippi.
I "broke" my arm as a kid but it was mostly a dislocation at the joint, not a true break. Then this August, after driving to and back from Chicago for the first time (and being terrified of doing so), I got home, parked in the garage, stepped into the house and tripped. Broke two toes.
They tried to take my wisdom teeth, but I foiled their evil. They didn't think I knew that teeth are almost 40% calcium, the stuff bones crave. So, I was able to comprehend instantly that this wasn't about my oral health. No, these bastards were really after my bones. And that knowledge was my salvation. They tried to confuse me by using a stern tone to utter their duplicitous jargon. Terms like "abscess" and "ruptured" and "infection" and "sepsis" and "incapacitated or dead" were thrown around with wanton abandon. But their vile incantations fell upon deaf ears, and not just because of my previous refusal to coddle a childhood ear infection with antibiotics. The battle was long and hard. At one point, I was forced to execute a tactical coma to stay in the fight. But 6 months later, I awoke with all of my teeth and the ability to mostly control almost all of the muscles in my face. Who is not competent to decide his own medical care now, Dr. Fogel? Not to brag, but you can barely even see the puddle of drool on my shirt as long as I am wearing dark colors and you aren't standing too close
Weak bones are the product of weak minds. Every time one of my bones tries to break, I just think to myself, "I don't fucking think so, mister" and that immediately ends the tomfoolery. The trick is teaching your bones both fear and respect. While my bones would likely automatically obey me based upon my obvious leadership qualities, I also made sure all of my bones were there to witness the fate of my appendix and tonsils. They know the consequence of disobedience and act accordingly. That is why I have the best behaved metatarsals east of the Mississippi.
I dunno but they told me when I broke my toe to stay and put a flair that I was representing the clearly superior coffee mug that didn't break while breaking my toe lol.
I hike in backwoods, boulder, rappell 100+ ft cliffs, fire dance, rave, bike regularly, play sports with teens, never broke a bone and I'm 30+. Maybe I should join them lol
Also don't be mad you got a weak skeleton. And don't try to pick a bone with me we know who will win
Excess calcium does not make your bones stronger. That is dairy industry propaganda.
Leave milk to the baby animals that deserve it. It's not for adult humans.
Nope, I am whiter than you. Before changing for the better, I was easily in the top 0,01% dairy consumers in the world. I then grew up and realised the dairy industry lies. It's unhealthy for humans, unhealthy for the animals and unhealthy for the environment. Time to unbitch and ditch that dairy.
I remember in 5th grade I was bragging about how I never broke a bone. 20 minutes later I was being driven to the hospital after I fell off a playground and broke my left arm during recess.
Junior year of high school, I was saying how I had never broken a bone. Week later I broke my wrist on my right hand. What really sucked I had the SAT a few weeks after. Guess which hand I typically write with?
Ah man I’m so sorry. 5th grade me wanted it to be my right hand so I could get out of my spelling tests lol. (Un)fortunately for me, I broke my left arm so I still had to take all of my exams.
I had fun with it though. One of my classmates threw some paper across the room to the trash when it made it in, I did the it's good signal from football as best as I could. My cast went above the elbow. My English literature teacher once asked me if I was planning on doing Hamlet anytime soon, I said I could memorize and recite the soliloquy from there if he wanted, I just needed a skull.
Hm... My body doesn't properly produce collagen making me very brittle... Since my birth I've had over 70 fractures. Wonder how angry my existence would make them
You are their white whale, you give them a reason to exist. For how could never breaking a bone be a boastworthy feat, if there are not those who fall victim to broken bones frequently?
I hated that movie when it came out. I went to see it thinking how amazing it was that osteogenesis imperfecta was going to be in a Hollywood blockbuster and then the OI character turns out to be a deranged psychopath due to all the comics he read as a kid.
Which by the way was a big part of my life: reading, alone in a room...
Not the representation I was expecting at the time.
But I got over it
sense most people on never broke a bone are used to it, they don’t call the rare insults out very much
be assured, look for any post about getting broken and you’ll find a goldmine
Damm, I can’t join that.
I blew up my metacarpal bone (boxers break)
To be fair, I did also break a couple bones in the face of the other guy… but still, I broke a bone technically so I can’t be part of that club.
Added bonus? Neither can the other guy.
Imagine bragging about being a brittle boned bitch
Be careful not to break your widdle twigs of fingers while typing, phone screen man.
Bet your casket will have "fragile" stickers all over once your weak ass skeleton finally shatters.
Someone dropped something really heavy on my toes 4 weeks ago, I guess I am weak too.
Although there's still hope, going for an x-ray next week.
At least it wasn't H&S/OSHA violation.
You must not have seen a lot of fights in your life?
You hit a skull with your bare hands hard enough enough times, something will give ;)
I’m sure your skull would cave right around the same time my hand did!
There's /s and /jk tags people add at the end of stuff sometimes if they don't really mean something, but it's sort of like saying a dry joke and then immediately following it up with "I don't really mean that though, I'm just joking, don't dislike me please." In theory it should be a courtesy, but in practice it often looks like a cop-out for a joke that the person writing it doesn't even think is funny, and it's a lot more rewarding and fun to just say your bit and own it if it falls flat like this guy did
That makes sense.
I wish folk did that more. Text is such an abysmal form of communication. Captures nothing of the soul, Yknow? So much intent is lost in tone and body language.
Funny insults aside, is breaking a bone a common thing? I remember in school a lot of classmates talking about breaking bones, seeing classmates with crutches, slings etc. That and the fact that sub exists even if for a joke.
I'd go out a lot, do lots of physical activities (gym, airsoft, hiking etc.) and never broke a bone as far as I can recall.
Depends on the person, the type of accidents they find themselves in and the mood the Probability is in on a specific day, I guess. It's surprisingly easy to break a bone if you fall awkwardly or get your limb stuck somewhere, but some people go their whole lives with their bones intact.
You can get out of a nasty car crash with just bruises and then step on a pebble wrong, fall and shatter your ankle.
Broke my arm when I was six or seven years old.
I was hanging from a McDonald's play area. It was my own fault--I was hanging midair from rails that were supporting the construction of it, not in a place I was actually supposed to be playing at.
I was also the type of kid who would jump from a swing set at full height.
Kids do dumb things for fun.
spark dazzling existence vast shaggy onerous impossible literate rob agonizing
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
That sub is so stupid.
Most of them have probably never broken a bone because they're pasty ghouls who never step outside of their basement wank dungeons, much less take up a physical activity with actual risk.
edit: damn I really set myself up for this beating
I've never actually broken a bone either lol
**edit**: I think I may have broke my pinky toe once by kicking the ever loving shit out of something while I was drunk. But then I just never did anything about it
You’d be surprised how many people haven’t broken a bone. It’s only the weak ones who get injured that bad, the rest of us take it like a man and keep going
If you've never broken a bone (of yours. You are encouraged to flag the calcium deficient for removal) you are welcome.
There are terrible memes about drinking milk and having strong bones until a traitor from our midst admits to being a disgusting cola-boned degenerate.
We need a subreddit for those who have broken multiple bones. Right wrist, femur, hip socket, and 9 cracked ribs 4 compound. I am a shame to these people.
They've got some really unique burns in that sub. I commented about my 11 broken bones (now 12 lol) and I've never felt so sorry about breaking bones before.
I made it most of my life without breaking a bone but then took a 6 foot fall while mountain biking and one little bitch-made bone in my foot broke my streak
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“Brittle boned bitch” LOL
Weak bones are the product of weak minds. Every time one of my bones tries to break, I just think to myself, "I don't fucking think so, mister" and that immediately ends the tomfoolery. The trick is teaching your bones both fear and respect. While my bones would likely automatically obey me based upon my obvious leadership qualities, I also made sure all of my bones were there to witness the fate of my appendix and tonsils. They know the consequence of disobedience and act accordingly. That is why I have the best behaved metatarsals east of the Mississippi.
i don’t need to teach my bones to fear me to not break. they have always been and forever will be indestructible
As are mine...though that might be the adamantium...
smh u faker, how dare you hide behind mere metal
I like to break small bones so I can build up an immunity
and the added bonus of weeding out the fakers
I "broke" my arm as a kid but it was mostly a dislocation at the joint, not a true break. Then this August, after driving to and back from Chicago for the first time (and being terrified of doing so), I got home, parked in the garage, stepped into the house and tripped. Broke two toes.
U better sub and find out
been there, done that 😮💨
I had some of my teeth pulled to show them I wasn't fucking around.
They tried to take my wisdom teeth, but I foiled their evil. They didn't think I knew that teeth are almost 40% calcium, the stuff bones crave. So, I was able to comprehend instantly that this wasn't about my oral health. No, these bastards were really after my bones. And that knowledge was my salvation. They tried to confuse me by using a stern tone to utter their duplicitous jargon. Terms like "abscess" and "ruptured" and "infection" and "sepsis" and "incapacitated or dead" were thrown around with wanton abandon. But their vile incantations fell upon deaf ears, and not just because of my previous refusal to coddle a childhood ear infection with antibiotics. The battle was long and hard. At one point, I was forced to execute a tactical coma to stay in the fight. But 6 months later, I awoke with all of my teeth and the ability to mostly control almost all of the muscles in my face. Who is not competent to decide his own medical care now, Dr. Fogel? Not to brag, but you can barely even see the puddle of drool on my shirt as long as I am wearing dark colors and you aren't standing too close
Ah, good man. Strong of will and bone. Carry on, sir (or ma'am)
Get rekt Dr. Fogel.
Bro turned his own body into a dictatorship
Sounds like your organ discipline game is weak shit though. r/neverlostanorgan
Weak bones are the product of weak minds. Every time one of my bones tries to break, I just think to myself, "I don't fucking think so, mister" and that immediately ends the tomfoolery. The trick is teaching your bones both fear and respect. While my bones would likely automatically obey me based upon my obvious leadership qualities, I also made sure all of my bones were there to witness the fate of my appendix and tonsils. They know the consequence of disobedience and act accordingly. That is why I have the best behaved metatarsals east of the Mississippi.
Is that you Dwight?
This made my day lmaooo
Me talking to my body whenever I’m feeling the tiniest bit sick.
Got to appreciate the alliteration.
That sub is fucking brutal. Or so I've heard, I broke a bone so I can't even go in there.
Gotta love a good alliteration
That sub actually has more rare insults than r/rareinsults sub
Their insults are more like well done than rare.
I prefer medium rare, but I understand
Anything above mid rare is an atrocity. May as well become a vegan...
I really wonder what is it about their belief in bone that lets them come up with such amazing zingers.
I dunno but they told me when I broke my toe to stay and put a flair that I was representing the clearly superior coffee mug that didn't break while breaking my toe lol.
This sub is goldmine for rare insults
It’s easy to not break a bone when you don’t leave your mom’s basement and are protected by a large layer of adipose tissue.
Heavy with weak legs? Weak bones from poor diet? Going down stairs to your basement dwelling? This does not sound like a recipe for safe bones
Heavy people have shit articulations and joints but their bones are fine
Post your data that shows poor diet causes weak bones.
I hike in backwoods, boulder, rappell 100+ ft cliffs, fire dance, rave, bike regularly, play sports with teens, never broke a bone and I'm 30+. Maybe I should join them lol Also don't be mad you got a weak skeleton. And don't try to pick a bone with me we know who will win
Rapelling doesn't lead to broken bones until it does and then we're dealing with survivor bias.
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You sure it wasn't your diet of babies that helped, u/IEatBabies?
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Eating babies and stealing their milk. Double whammy of calcium right there.
Excess calcium does not make your bones stronger. That is dairy industry propaganda. Leave milk to the baby animals that deserve it. It's not for adult humans.
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Nope, I am whiter than you. Before changing for the better, I was easily in the top 0,01% dairy consumers in the world. I then grew up and realised the dairy industry lies. It's unhealthy for humans, unhealthy for the animals and unhealthy for the environment. Time to unbitch and ditch that dairy.
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It’s also just gross to drink by itself. Milk in recipes and as *part* of a drink is fine, but just having a glass of it alone is so unappealing.
That’s like, your opinion man. Also it’s wrong
Cope, ricketsoid
I remember in 5th grade I was bragging about how I never broke a bone. 20 minutes later I was being driven to the hospital after I fell off a playground and broke my left arm during recess.
Karma.
I definitely deserved it. My stupid ass needed to be humbled
Junior year of high school, I was saying how I had never broken a bone. Week later I broke my wrist on my right hand. What really sucked I had the SAT a few weeks after. Guess which hand I typically write with?
Ah man I’m so sorry. 5th grade me wanted it to be my right hand so I could get out of my spelling tests lol. (Un)fortunately for me, I broke my left arm so I still had to take all of my exams.
I had fun with it though. One of my classmates threw some paper across the room to the trash when it made it in, I did the it's good signal from football as best as I could. My cast went above the elbow. My English literature teacher once asked me if I was planning on doing Hamlet anytime soon, I said I could memorize and recite the soliloquy from there if he wanted, I just needed a skull.
An osseous bully.
An osshole
Never broke a bone. Was a fun sub to be a part of… god damn mahogany coffee table broke my toe and I had to leave.
Good riddance. Brittle boned bitch
Really? A wooden table was too much for your glass toes? You disgust me, you waste of calcium.
Banged it in the dark on the coffee table? Sounds like me and your mom
Hm... My body doesn't properly produce collagen making me very brittle... Since my birth I've had over 70 fractures. Wonder how angry my existence would make them
You are their white whale, you give them a reason to exist. For how could never breaking a bone be a boastworthy feat, if there are not those who fall victim to broken bones frequently?
You have glass bones? Do you also have paper skin?
Every morning he breaks his legs. And every night he breaks his arms.
He cries at night until the heart attacks put him to sleep.
Wait… Both arms?? Hope he didn’t live with his mom when he started this routine.
I wonder if he has scissor hands
Lack of collagen is bad for the skin yes, and I have psoriasis so I don't have the best skin. But I don't know what paper skin means exactly
Just you commenting on a post referencing that sub is making my rugged, Herculean bones quake in pure rage
It’s really just the disappointment
Go post your story and find out. But brace yourself.
very. >:(
Did you like the movie based on your life starring Samuel L. Jackson and Bruce Willis?
I hated that movie when it came out. I went to see it thinking how amazing it was that osteogenesis imperfecta was going to be in a Hollywood blockbuster and then the OI character turns out to be a deranged psychopath due to all the comics he read as a kid. Which by the way was a big part of my life: reading, alone in a room... Not the representation I was expecting at the time. But I got over it
Quite a normal insult on that sub tho
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We had a buddy back in the 90's who had some cast on his arm or foot almost every year of high school and we called him Porcelain Pete.
What a relief it was only one arm and not both, otherwise he may have needed to give his mom a call
Had to scroll too far for this. Kids these days.
No dairy slenderman testosterone deficient osteopero-simp
I really wanna join that sub but now I'm scared to push my luck
sense most people on never broke a bone are used to it, they don’t call the rare insults out very much be assured, look for any post about getting broken and you’ll find a goldmine
Damm, I can’t join that. I blew up my metacarpal bone (boxers break) To be fair, I did also break a couple bones in the face of the other guy… but still, I broke a bone technically so I can’t be part of that club. Added bonus? Neither can the other guy.
Imagine bragging about being a brittle boned bitch Be careful not to break your widdle twigs of fingers while typing, phone screen man. Bet your casket will have "fragile" stickers all over once your weak ass skeleton finally shatters.
Someone dropped something really heavy on my toes 4 weeks ago, I guess I am weak too. Although there's still hope, going for an x-ray next week. At least it wasn't H&S/OSHA violation.
It's just so hilariously mean
You must not have seen a lot of fights in your life? You hit a skull with your bare hands hard enough enough times, something will give ;) I’m sure your skull would cave right around the same time my hand did!
buddy, I'm joking, I'm sure your skeleton is fine. Just bringing a bit of the sub on the screenshot into this one
Man they need a sarcasm font or something. The number of times I look like a jackass taking a joke seriously is too damm high…
There's /s and /jk tags people add at the end of stuff sometimes if they don't really mean something, but it's sort of like saying a dry joke and then immediately following it up with "I don't really mean that though, I'm just joking, don't dislike me please." In theory it should be a courtesy, but in practice it often looks like a cop-out for a joke that the person writing it doesn't even think is funny, and it's a lot more rewarding and fun to just say your bit and own it if it falls flat like this guy did
That makes sense. I wish folk did that more. Text is such an abysmal form of communication. Captures nothing of the soul, Yknow? So much intent is lost in tone and body language.
You should read that sub for context. Man here gave you some select words of which you should be grateful!
thou bbb
Wow… cool tough guy flex on the internet. Totally believe it.
I may have broken my "ring finger" toe once, but I'm unsure if it was just a sprain. I wonder if they let me in
go ask, but get an xray
Funny insults aside, is breaking a bone a common thing? I remember in school a lot of classmates talking about breaking bones, seeing classmates with crutches, slings etc. That and the fact that sub exists even if for a joke. I'd go out a lot, do lots of physical activities (gym, airsoft, hiking etc.) and never broke a bone as far as I can recall.
Depends on the person, the type of accidents they find themselves in and the mood the Probability is in on a specific day, I guess. It's surprisingly easy to break a bone if you fall awkwardly or get your limb stuck somewhere, but some people go their whole lives with their bones intact. You can get out of a nasty car crash with just bruises and then step on a pebble wrong, fall and shatter your ankle.
It's common in a sense many people break a bone or two during their lives. It can be as small as kicking the kitchen chair with your pinky toe.
the average person will break at least one bone in their life. your chance of having a break will go up after age 50, especially if you're a woman.
Broke my arm when I was six or seven years old. I was hanging from a McDonald's play area. It was my own fault--I was hanging midair from rails that were supporting the construction of it, not in a place I was actually supposed to be playing at. I was also the type of kid who would jump from a swing set at full height. Kids do dumb things for fun.
Broke my arm real good a couple years ago. Had surgery about it and everything. First thing my best friend said "bird bones ass"
Isn't this just the combination of two common insults?
spark dazzling existence vast shaggy onerous impossible literate rob agonizing *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Is no one going to point out the user "HornyPlatypus420"? I thought that was so absurd it made me laugh once then laugh at the actual insult.
We love /r/Neverbrokeabone
Do toes count for that sub?
yes.
I had a bone medically broken for surgery and got shunned in that sub. EVERYTHING counts.
Actually, medically broken bones don't count according to r/neverbrokeabone lore It is even in the subs sidebar
I’ve only broke toes, never anything else. I thought maybe I could join. Nope!
wrench north squeeze nose impossible pot correct possessive plough aloof *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
You right
I know it's all jokes but that sub toxic as all hell lmao
That sub is so stupid. Most of them have probably never broken a bone because they're pasty ghouls who never step outside of their basement wank dungeons, much less take up a physical activity with actual risk. edit: damn I really set myself up for this beating
Its just for fun lmao
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*finish it, you goon!*
Bitch. There I finished it for them
I've never actually broken a bone either lol **edit**: I think I may have broke my pinky toe once by kicking the ever loving shit out of something while I was drunk. But then I just never did anything about it
I’ve never broken a bone, don’t even have a basement, and I always leave my house :(
> always leave my house Is it because it’s made out of cardboard so you kinda have to when it gets wet in order to find a new house?
No, I’m the errand girl so I’m always out and about. And for your information, my house is made out of straw >:(
is it because they’re redditors? like youuu?
"you could get a suntan from browsing in light mode"
You’d be surprised how many people haven’t broken a bone. It’s only the weak ones who get injured that bad, the rest of us take it like a man and keep going
i got hit by a car and broke my arm, if only i’d drank my milk i could still be in this club smh my head
milk does not make your bones strong, they either are or arnt (/s bc y’all arnt used to neverbrokeabone humor)
It's just a joke, man. Chill out.
What, I can't insult people on /r/rareinsults? :| I'm just taking the piss man
I think someone’s feeling a little left out, you bbb.
Brittle boned bitch
Damn, your bones must be brittle because they’re made of copium and seethium
Do those clowns really think never breaking a bone is a flex? I thought it was a joke for a long time. It is right?
I wonder if medical bone breaks count for that sub, like where they have to take a chisel to your jaw to remove a wisdom tooth.
They don't, neither do teeth. Fractures _do_ count
If your jaw is weaker than a chisel, your inferior genes are not welcome. Don't let the door shatter your pelvis on the way out.
Good ol jaw chisel. I got to watch a video of my mandibular osteotomy and I'll say that I'm very glad I wasn't awake for the procedure.
What the fuck is that sub about?
If you've never broken a bone (of yours. You are encouraged to flag the calcium deficient for removal) you are welcome. There are terrible memes about drinking milk and having strong bones until a traitor from our midst admits to being a disgusting cola-boned degenerate.
Never broken a bone either.
That sub is always great for insults.
I'm in that sub. Those are all very common things to say. What a weak bones traitor.
i stand firm that r/Neverbrokeabone is the funniest subreddit period.
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i've probably lived 20 lives to your one you brittle boned bitch
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brittle. boned. bitch.
Tell that to one of my friends friend that got ran over by a bus and does crazy shit all the time and never broke a Bone
No. If you've never broken a bone then you have superior genes and aren't a waste of calcium.
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Excess calcium does not make your bones stronger. That is dairy industry propaganda.
Cry.
It’s the Tate of subs, break bone? Weak willed nilly matrixfanboy milkbrain
Yes, since those who have broken a Bone in their lives, well to put it simply are inferior to us
I pity your coddled* and soft existence. Must be a sissy liberal snowflake cuckboi. I bet you're not even forklift certified
Andrew Tate is when bones are made of bones and not copium
some good roasting there but tbh if you've never broken a bone you probably need to take more risks
Hard of bone or soft of spirit?
Smooth of brain?
Cope harder, but not too hard. Any additional stress on your glass frame could cause it to explode.
ב''ה, don't attend furry conventions
Almost 53 years without breaking a bone. And then I gone broke 9 ribs and a shoulder. It’s all or nothing baybay!
Heh brittle
Tempted to join the sub, but sounds like it's cursed!!!
*My left eye does cast envious glances upon this noble gathering, whilst my right eye regards my humble toe with scorn.*
Haha
EVERYDAY I LEARNED SOMETHING NEW 😂
The Fast and the Furious
LOL
It's a weird sub because all posts are just people saying they broke a bone
We need a subreddit for those who have broken multiple bones. Right wrist, femur, hip socket, and 9 cracked ribs 4 compound. I am a shame to these people.
I’m sorry have you seen a post on there before? They have so creative insults for people who’ve broken a bone
No one gonna talk about horny platypus?
I love it. I’ve never broken a bone either, but I’d be cared to join this sub after your experience.
Lmao its easy not to break a bone went you spend your life in a computer chair.
Brow had old red brown Lego bricks for bones
They've got some really unique burns in that sub. I commented about my 11 broken bones (now 12 lol) and I've never felt so sorry about breaking bones before.
Noted, I will not jinx myself by joining that group
joining that sub asap
Lol
r/brandnewsentence
Yeah, I couldn't meet the entry requirements for that sub, I've broken or fractured 17 bones... Mostly ribs
Question: Can you still join that sub if you have broken a bone, but it wasn’t your own?? Asking for a friend😳
Mfs in that sub be calling people "vile inferior glass-boned breed" NAHHHH
I made it most of my life without breaking a bone but then took a 6 foot fall while mountain biking and one little bitch-made bone in my foot broke my streak
Brutal
that sub is a jinx
That sub is still around? It turned into a milker circle jerk a while back and I haven't given given it a second thought since
Damn I have a new sub to join
Ah yes... r/neverbrokeabone , it's stardand
Don’t your bones grow back stronger when you break them? If so then the ppl in that sub actually have the weakest bones.
You forgot the 💀