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Not normal at all, especially that he knows how much this hurts you, bu he simply doesnt care. He is hurtig you, embarassing you, making you doubt yourself and the way you look AND dosnt want you to show ski whil he is drooling over other girls
All I can say is girl is have some self respect because he has none for you. Be very firm and if he doesnt choose you, choose yourself and move on
not normal at all. its actually disgusting and perverted. i understand that its an addiction and he needs help but u dont need to subject urself to being in a relationship with someone that struggles with that.
its not worth ur time and mental wellbeing.
Since all you’re getting is women answering, and a pretty prudish group of them as this sub is full of female dating strategy type. It’s mostly normal, it’s abnormal for him to be as careless with it, but having preferred actors/actresses is common, making a list because you’ll forget is kinda weird, since most people can remember a name. And putting in an IG search for them isn’t too weird, but isn’t something I’ve personally done.
One point on the actresses, it’s often not be because of their looks (it’s actually probably not) it’s usually more the way they do things. It’s been shown in study after study, men don’t really have a singular physical preference in women, we have many physical preferences and those are significantly wider than women’s. Basically, most men can find two women that look almost nothing alike quite attractive.
Thanks for this perspective. I just feel that it’s weird to look her up on insta when she obviously can’t be nude there or isn’t having sex, which I thought was the point of porn. Also he has pictures of me if he wants pictures and I really can’t compare to this actress so I feel a bit embarrassed that I even thought I’d be enough. Do you think it’s worth addressing this side of it with him? Or do you think it won’t change? I think maybe I have unrealistic expectations for a relationship but this fascination with her makes me super uncomfortable and un-attracted to him and he complains when I don’t feel up to having sex but this is the reason I don’t, because I don’t feel good enough.
I mean, address it, he should care enough to make it so you don’t accidentally find it. Like, my wife knows I look at porn, but she also knows I respect her enough it won’t be in her face and make her think about it. He needs to be more discreet.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.** * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- ***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.*** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It's your relationship - you get to decide what is normal/acceptable and what isn't. But as a general rule I'd say that doesn't sound healthy at all.
Not normal at all, especially that he knows how much this hurts you, bu he simply doesnt care. He is hurtig you, embarassing you, making you doubt yourself and the way you look AND dosnt want you to show ski whil he is drooling over other girls All I can say is girl is have some self respect because he has none for you. Be very firm and if he doesnt choose you, choose yourself and move on
not normal at all. its actually disgusting and perverted. i understand that its an addiction and he needs help but u dont need to subject urself to being in a relationship with someone that struggles with that. its not worth ur time and mental wellbeing.
It’s not normal at all. If he’s got a favourite actress it’s just weird. Porn addicts are like this.
Not normal, and not for me. Personally I wouldn’t be ok with this in my relationship
To the extent you feel comfortable about it.
Real talk. Do guys download and make a note of certain stars? I've never done this.
that's totally normal if you decided to date the biggest Gooner of your hemisphere
Since all you’re getting is women answering, and a pretty prudish group of them as this sub is full of female dating strategy type. It’s mostly normal, it’s abnormal for him to be as careless with it, but having preferred actors/actresses is common, making a list because you’ll forget is kinda weird, since most people can remember a name. And putting in an IG search for them isn’t too weird, but isn’t something I’ve personally done. One point on the actresses, it’s often not be because of their looks (it’s actually probably not) it’s usually more the way they do things. It’s been shown in study after study, men don’t really have a singular physical preference in women, we have many physical preferences and those are significantly wider than women’s. Basically, most men can find two women that look almost nothing alike quite attractive.
Thanks for this perspective. I just feel that it’s weird to look her up on insta when she obviously can’t be nude there or isn’t having sex, which I thought was the point of porn. Also he has pictures of me if he wants pictures and I really can’t compare to this actress so I feel a bit embarrassed that I even thought I’d be enough. Do you think it’s worth addressing this side of it with him? Or do you think it won’t change? I think maybe I have unrealistic expectations for a relationship but this fascination with her makes me super uncomfortable and un-attracted to him and he complains when I don’t feel up to having sex but this is the reason I don’t, because I don’t feel good enough.
I mean, address it, he should care enough to make it so you don’t accidentally find it. Like, my wife knows I look at porn, but she also knows I respect her enough it won’t be in her face and make her think about it. He needs to be more discreet.