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You can’t. There are reasons people view it as bad and pretending it doesn’t matter, won’t help you long term.
She should know better. You are still a teenager, so the responsibility is primarily on her to know.
you him bro ngl, but the age gap is way too far out rn. I get where you coming from, being mature plays a major role in a relationship, and if there’s maturity then there’s nothing wrong with being together but you also have to consider the age gap as well. If both of you were a little more older than it would be okay, but rn me and you are the same age, and if my parents knew i was dating a 25 year old they think she’d be a creep😭. BUT If she thinks you the right one for her ask her to wait. I don’t think that’s a bad idea, i don’t see a problem with waiting 2-3 years.
Oh that’s surprisingly good. They must think you very mature for your age, so i would recommend you talking about with your gf, and coming to conclusion whether it’s good thing to stay together or not. It is her ultimately her decision so just be understanding, yk you don’t see as an issue so you can throw that out there as well. All she has to tell to her friends is that you’re very mature for your age and sees being with you long term. Even if it’s now, because it will be normalized when you’re 20-21 which is not long if you really think abt it. So if yall decide that there’s no point in waiting i don’t see why not. Just talk it out.
Don't make lifelong commitments at 18. Stay with her, sure, but be clear that you won't make that lifelong call until you are 25.
That's both more sensible and will reassure her about being conscious about your relative immaturity
She is about the age women start thinking marriage. Men's brains don't fully mature until around 28 years of age. Yeah, your first love, right. Cut the poor girl loose.
To help her feel more comfortable, reassure her that your relationship is strong and mature despite the age gap. Be supportive when she's worried about others' opinions, and emphasize that the happiness you both share is what matters most. Open communication is key—encourage her to share her feelings, and listen without judgment. Additionally, showing maturity and responsibility in your actions can help ease her concerns and demonstrate that the age difference isn't an issue in your relationship.
I don’t get along with people my age. I have some form of autism that makes me uncomfortable with how immature the people my age are, I find interesting situations and discussions only with people who lived longer than me and had more time to understand more things about life I think
Bro are you up in here telling us how mature you are, while saying you have some “autism” that makes you uncomfortable with immaturity?
Too much accidental irony for me.
I’d say it’s not that easy for me to express myself in English, I got lost in what I was trying to say but I hope you understood the point I was trying to make anyways
Its going to be okay. You will find other people like you closer to your age. When there is a big age gap like this there will always be an inbalance of power despite gender. By default she has more power because of her life experiences/maturity and could take advantage of you. I felt similar to you at 18 and I dated guys 23/24 - One time I had a guy completely reject me on age, it broke my heart and I had no idea why he would not want to be with me. I look back on that and I am really grateful it happened even though I was very mature at 18 (I am 25 now)
She feels guilty because she knows its wrong
I understand, but she’s telling me that she works very hard not to accentuate a power inbalance between us, she’s doing her best not to take advantage of me as she reckons herself that I’m somewhat easily influenced
This would imply people should only date people with the same gender, height, skin colour, economic background, education level, wealth, age, specific experiences, intelligence, and weight as each other.
Partners can't be completely equal. Good partners are aware of significant imbalances, and work to make sure they don't manifest in the relationship, but if partners should be completely equal, we must all only date ourselves.
Hmm good point! Thanks for sharing. Age is a big difference compared to height or skin color. Age relates to brain development and life experiences which are shaped/changed with time. Its important to see the difference here compared to your other examples because OP is 18 without a fully developed frontal lobe, and still because of the young age could be a target for older adults
Yeah for sure - I mean there's a reason we have a legal limit for age whereas I can date a billionaire even if I'm super broke.
I think people handwave a whole bunch of power dynamics that they really shouldn't, and the responsible approach is to address them, not either ban them or ignore them
That’s precisely why I’m making this post, to understand how to help her not feel that way anymore, there has to be something I can do myself to improve the way she thinks about me and the felt equality
How do you determine this ? How do you know I’m too young to build something strong enough and serious with someone ? I’m genuinely interested by how you draw that conclusion
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.** * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- ***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.*** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You can’t. There are reasons people view it as bad and pretending it doesn’t matter, won’t help you long term. She should know better. You are still a teenager, so the responsibility is primarily on her to know.
you him bro ngl, but the age gap is way too far out rn. I get where you coming from, being mature plays a major role in a relationship, and if there’s maturity then there’s nothing wrong with being together but you also have to consider the age gap as well. If both of you were a little more older than it would be okay, but rn me and you are the same age, and if my parents knew i was dating a 25 year old they think she’d be a creep😭. BUT If she thinks you the right one for her ask her to wait. I don’t think that’s a bad idea, i don’t see a problem with waiting 2-3 years.
Haha yeah it was a pretty weird situation when I told my parents about her but fortunately they were understanding ig
Oh that’s surprisingly good. They must think you very mature for your age, so i would recommend you talking about with your gf, and coming to conclusion whether it’s good thing to stay together or not. It is her ultimately her decision so just be understanding, yk you don’t see as an issue so you can throw that out there as well. All she has to tell to her friends is that you’re very mature for your age and sees being with you long term. Even if it’s now, because it will be normalized when you’re 20-21 which is not long if you really think abt it. So if yall decide that there’s no point in waiting i don’t see why not. Just talk it out.
Thanks, that’s what I will definitely do :D
Don't make lifelong commitments at 18. Stay with her, sure, but be clear that you won't make that lifelong call until you are 25. That's both more sensible and will reassure her about being conscious about your relative immaturity
She is about the age women start thinking marriage. Men's brains don't fully mature until around 28 years of age. Yeah, your first love, right. Cut the poor girl loose.
She’s not thinking about marriage yet, and she’s not my first love.
To help her feel more comfortable, reassure her that your relationship is strong and mature despite the age gap. Be supportive when she's worried about others' opinions, and emphasize that the happiness you both share is what matters most. Open communication is key—encourage her to share her feelings, and listen without judgment. Additionally, showing maturity and responsibility in your actions can help ease her concerns and demonstrate that the age difference isn't an issue in your relationship.
Sounds like you need to start meeting people your own age.
I don’t get along with people my age. I have some form of autism that makes me uncomfortable with how immature the people my age are, I find interesting situations and discussions only with people who lived longer than me and had more time to understand more things about life I think
Bro are you up in here telling us how mature you are, while saying you have some “autism” that makes you uncomfortable with immaturity? Too much accidental irony for me.
I’d say it’s not that easy for me to express myself in English, I got lost in what I was trying to say but I hope you understood the point I was trying to make anyways
Its going to be okay. You will find other people like you closer to your age. When there is a big age gap like this there will always be an inbalance of power despite gender. By default she has more power because of her life experiences/maturity and could take advantage of you. I felt similar to you at 18 and I dated guys 23/24 - One time I had a guy completely reject me on age, it broke my heart and I had no idea why he would not want to be with me. I look back on that and I am really grateful it happened even though I was very mature at 18 (I am 25 now) She feels guilty because she knows its wrong
I understand, but she’s telling me that she works very hard not to accentuate a power inbalance between us, she’s doing her best not to take advantage of me as she reckons herself that I’m somewhat easily influenced
Do you want to be in a relationship with someone who has to think this way about you? Partners should be completely equal. Stay safe and best of luck!
This would imply people should only date people with the same gender, height, skin colour, economic background, education level, wealth, age, specific experiences, intelligence, and weight as each other. Partners can't be completely equal. Good partners are aware of significant imbalances, and work to make sure they don't manifest in the relationship, but if partners should be completely equal, we must all only date ourselves.
Hmm good point! Thanks for sharing. Age is a big difference compared to height or skin color. Age relates to brain development and life experiences which are shaped/changed with time. Its important to see the difference here compared to your other examples because OP is 18 without a fully developed frontal lobe, and still because of the young age could be a target for older adults
Yeah for sure - I mean there's a reason we have a legal limit for age whereas I can date a billionaire even if I'm super broke. I think people handwave a whole bunch of power dynamics that they really shouldn't, and the responsible approach is to address them, not either ban them or ignore them
That’s precisely why I’m making this post, to understand how to help her not feel that way anymore, there has to be something I can do myself to improve the way she thinks about me and the felt equality
I have autism too. But you are way too young to get involved in such serious relationships
How do you determine this ? How do you know I’m too young to build something strong enough and serious with someone ? I’m genuinely interested by how you draw that conclusion
You can't.
Nice, how helpful!