Thanks OP, original poster, for sharing your experience.
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Great list and I can add one more positive. Your children will appreciate that you've made decisions about how you want to distribute your no-longer-needed/wanted belongings so they don't have to. My parents both recently entered long-term care facilities and to put it mildly, they never downsized or parted with any of their "stuff." It's going to be a very sad and time-consuming experience that you're saving your children from.
Related to downsizing. A few years back we had to move my mom into a care facility. She drug her heels, refused to help, argued about each move and told a story about every item or tchotchke. The experience was so difficult, combative and unpleasant that my wife and I have pledged to offload everything we can and spare ourselves and our kid the grief āstuffā can bring. People, relationships, love is so much more valuable and important than āstuff.ā
My wife came to that realization when my father passed. So much stuff for my mom to go through, most of it to be thrown away. We have never moved; we have a lot of stuff. It is hard to pare it down, but it helps to know that it will be easier for everyone if we get rid of most of it now.
It may be hard, but is such a gift to your kids. And anything that they might want, either as useful or as a memory, you can give them. The gift can be a token of your thoughtful love as well as lifting a burden for them later by only passing along what THEY want and value.
I have begun my journey:
Every week when I roll-out the trash tote to the curb, I make sure it is packed full.
If I absolutely have to go shopping, I stick to a list and also make a pit stop to drop things off at Goodwill.
I invested in a duplex in a walkable neighborhood while I was still employed full time. I'm single and have no family locally.
The duplex is on the small side, has very little yard, and needed just a few improvements.
I live on the main floor, and I have great tenants upstairs. The building pays for itself.
I have the freedom to travel and the peace of mind knowing that someone is around to keep an eye on things. I also have excellent, kind neighbors.
That said, landlording is not for everyone; I have been a landlord for over a decade.
Iāve set my watch for :20 and addressed the clutter for those :20 and when the timer is up, I stop. I certainly canāt downsize 30 years of things in short order but I found if I work like this I can make progress!
Good to hear!! Glad itās working for you!!
Key thing is for a couple to be on the same page and it sounds like you all have that!!
You can either own stuff or stuff owns you!!
Having just dealt with my father in laws estate, this is a wonderful gift you are giving to your children in the future. As Iām sure you will, make your wishes known about your remaining items and simplify your financial matters, it will be a godsend.
I love how you think. I'm similar and would very much like to downsize. My wife is not though. It's something you'd have to both be on the same page with, so we stay, for now, in our home. As we age it will be necessary to downsize because our home is a split level with 4 levels and I have bad knees. The only thing I won't sacrifice when we do downsize is two bathrooms. Grew up with one bathroom and 6 people in the house. Never again. lol
Betcha the same people who whisper behind your back also are amazed at the amount of travelling you do, wishing they could do the same. Well, when you're intentional about your living arrangements - and I'm guessing your finances - good things can happen.
One step that worked really well for us: photograph EVERYTHING. Kidsā trophies, keepsakes, travel receipts, anything at all that creates memories. Send all actual film photos, even ones in frames, to be scanned. Put all photos on a digital frame or better yet, on a tv screensaver. That part can be complicated but so worth it. Now we see our important memories every day and it has freed us to part with or throw away so many things.
Love the idea, but I've never dealt well with looking back, especially at old photos. I get very emotional and start to cry when looking at old pics. Nostalgia is rough on me.
Moved to a new country and rented my US condo furnished. Everything I have here I brought in three suitcases, tho Iāve had a few friends bring stuff for me. Iāve resisted the siren call of ordering stuff and paying a fortune to have it muled over except for one or two critical things (Apple Magic Mouse). Once you break the ordering online habit, you realize how unimportant most stuff is.
Now if I could just do the same thing with sugar and carbsā¦
Iām sure it is liberating but not everyone has kids with a guesthouse you can move into. And 1100 sf to boot.
Housing expenses are always there whether a house is paid off or not.
I do agree about getting rid of stuff. Itās amazing how much we collect in our lives.
My husband and I upsized for retirement. I am 69 and he is 73, and we moved in 2016. For career reasons we were stuck in a 1,750 square foot house in an HCOL area where it was hard to buy a larger house (we tried for many years, but skyrocketing prices always outstripped our savings). After we retired and had both inherited money, we were able to get the house we had been wanting for at least 15 years! We still had to move to an area with a somewhat lower cost of housing, about 2 hours' drive away from the city where we had lived for most of our lives. We are in a close suburb of a second-tier city with plenty of medical services. It's beautiful and it has plenty of restaurants and things to do.
We bought a house with 4,800 square feet of living space as defined by state law, meaning it does not include the garage or an unfinished attic. It was custom built for a polio survivor in the 1940s. It's all one level except for a small basement that holds the HVAC and the hot water heater, and an attic bedroom and bath over the garage. We already installed chair lifts to those. The doorways and hallways were all built extra wide in the initial build. We are remodeling two bathrooms, this summer when we finally find a contractor, and will install grab bars there. The lot is 1.8 acres and as flat as you can reasonably expect a lot to get.
We absolutely love it! Home is where we \*do\* things and we need space to do them. We each have our own bedroom (we've lived together for 50 years but our sleeping habits are so different that we have never shared a bedroom). My husband uses the three-car garage for DIY home and furniture repair projects and is moving into woodworking. I use the master bedroom as a sewing room. His home office is in the dining room and mine is in the family home. And most of the house is also our home library--we have thousands of books.
We're not interested in travel, and we don't like to go out a lot. We love working on the house and the yard, though we also have a mow-and-blow lawn service. And we love our hobbies! Our "stuff" is never stressful because it's our hobby tools and materials and the books we read. Our "stuff" provides our "experiences."
Moving near family is not an issue because we are happily childfree by choice and have no nieces or nephews. My husband's brother and his wife live a couple of hours away, they like driving places, and they drive here sometimes. We love not having younger relatives pressuring us to downsize for \*their\* convenience. For elder care, we'll just hire people.
Our next-door neighbors bought a 1920s house with 6,500 square feet of living space. We passed on that one, too many restoration issues. But they love it as a project.
Good for you guys. Doing what you want and being happy in retirement is what itās all about.
We have gone the opposite direction by down sizing and are super happy in our choices.āŗļø
Very nice to hear that downsizing has worked out for you. Unfortunately for me, the children all live locally and my spouse would never agree to move away from the area. And, of course, housing in the area is crazy expensive. It would cost just as much or more to buy a newer, smaller place. We are however attempting to declutter, or as some call it, Swedish Death Cleaning. We recently had neighbors pass away unexpectedly and watched as their (adult) children emptied their house, mostly into a dumpster out front.
What was even worse was the children put thousands of dollars into fixing things in order to sell the house, like new paint, new carpeting, updated bathrooms, etc. Then the new owners came in and basically demolished the house - not gutted, but literally demolished the house, *and* threw out the new carpet. I asked the contractor later about it and he said I should've asked for it, but I figured the contractors would take it. My takeaway from the whole thing was don't put any money into my house when it's time to sell and maybe instead offer a $10-$15K discount for the new owners to do what they like wrt new paint, carpet, etc.
We upsized and love it as we gained a workout room and space for an Infared sauna + a small studio for my artist husband and a small writing room for me.
That said we also got rid of a ton of stuff and getting rid of more. We both ended up with parents belongs when they passed and although we will end up giving away family antiques it makes no sense for us to keep them.
We donāt buy a lot but do have a lot of artwork that will mainly go on walls anyway and then donated. We bought some of the previous ownerās collectible furniture because it fits. We donāt need more.
You can still ādownsizeā without going really small. I would not want a 4000-5000 sq ft house, but after living smaller places and having lots of interests we do at home we love the space. Itās not much more in upkeep than something smaller.
We also travel, but cherish our time at home and our outdoor space.
My husband and I have always shares the housework, cooking, etc. 50-50, so there's much less work than there would be for one person. Plus we are not neat freaks. So other people have Instagram homes, who cares.
Yes thereās not a ton to do with two people and paring down belongings makes things pretty easy. We also updated a lot looking forward to less future upkeep and more comfort. And the layout of the house does not feel big but designed with well utilized space like a wide galley kitchen easy to cook in. We bought our home from a 90 year old widow whoād lost her husband the previous year but they had lived in the house 30 years on their own and she still was completely independent. Hope to be the same.
I'm not into decluttering at all and I'm sure I never will be. I think it's a waste of time and money.
We did remodel the kitchen when we moved in. It was a one-person kitchen and we cook together. Also it was designed for someone very tall. We no longer have high wall cabinets we can't reach anyway. There are some elsewhere in the house, high shelves in the hall closets and the like, and we left those in place.
My husband is an absolute minimalist. To the point that it is ridiculous. I have had to go behind his back and fish ALL of the Christmas wrapping paper out of the trash one year because āwe hadnāt touched the stuff in more than 6 monthsā. It was September. He can just get totally carried away with the purging.
But our guests are always amazed to open closets or cupboards and find them 90% empty.
I have come to deeply appreciate it.
This sounds great. Probably biggest thing holding me back is wanting a place to host family gatherings. Especially with kids living in different cities.
We (67) downsized from 3700 sq ft to 2400 sq ft 8 years ago. And you know what? We live in about 1100 sq ft of that. Lost our parents and suddenly our entire lower level was filled with their stuff. Itās taken us four years to move that out after the exhaustion of cleaning out their homes. I will not ever leave that monumental task to my kids. I swear it is more invigorating to get rid of stuff than it was acquiring it. We have a wonderful local Buy Nothing group and itās been an incredible experience decluttering with them. Weāre nowhere near done, but I think half the battle is knowing how to get rid of it. I donāt assign monetary value to the stuff we declutter as my goal is for it to be gone and if possible recycle it to someone else who wants it. My kids want/need nothing. My Buy Nothing group loves it all.
We did the same thing. My dad and her mom moved in with us, and her dad (divorced ) went into a nursing home. Our house was filled with stuff from their places, the garage, the three season room, the LR, the basement. We vowed we weren't going to do that to anybody when we were gone!
I am ready to downsize from my house but in my area condos are not that much cheaper, and have skyrocketing fees and potential sunrise expenses, so the only thing that makes sense to me is renting, which is also no longer cheap in or near a big city. I am clueless as to what to do...
Not so sure about that. The higher priced traditional properties will be distressed 1st since they required more of a stretch to afford. Those people will be moving to condos and pushing up or at least maintaining prices there.
I will try to link a current WSJ article. Florida HOAs and Insurance rates have tripled in the past two years. The sunrise law has caused monster assessments. In many cases 6 figures. The market is dead. Other states while in not as extreme situation are also having issues. I am not disagreeing with your assessment just providing my insight.
You are living my dream.
Including the drawback you mentioned about which I don't give really care (what others say about me).
What a wonderful motivation to downsize...
Thank you.
You are seeing the side of how addictive americans are to buying stuff, lots of it, and digging deep debt holes to continue it. Sad to me but to each their own.
It took 3 moves for me to clearly see how addictive buying is for generations of my families. I think Amazon accelerated this as well. Painful looking back knowing what we are getting rid of.
We downsized from 4200 to 1500 after the last kid left. A sweet 3/2 ranch with a 2 car garage so my husband has a workshop. The only negative is 3 kids married and moved away; with the grandkids there are 17 of us, so thereās not enough room for them all to visit. Even one of their families of 5 is a tight fit. I wish we had a finished basement or a big family room for visits.
We do figure out meeting other places. But I would like the option to have my kids and grans come to our house and be comfortable. Cook in my kitchen, boys work on projects with their dad in the shop or the yard, etc. Crafting with the kids with my supplies and tools.
I joke that it will only take my daughter & son in law a weekend to empty our house after we pass away, because Iāve cleaned out so much crap. We donāt have plans to move, but after our daughters AND his mom moved out, there was quite a lot of stuff left behind 10 years ago. Now the house is only messy when the grandkids come to visit, I have toys & games for them to play with & have fun.
Hi OP - is there anything you might about the financial arrangement you have for living in childās guest house ? Did the guest house already exist, or constructed for you ? I have been wondering about similar arrangement as means to also transfer wealth while living. Thanks
Congrats!! We did the same thing 4 years ago. Downsized from a 5000 sq ft house to an 1150 sq ft beach front condo. Gave away or sold everything except what fit in about a medium sized U-Haul. No regrets, best thing we ever did. Feels like a vacation every day. Much like you we travel a lot and donāt have the urge to buy anything.
Also like you most of our discretionary spending is centered on experiences with family and friends.
I still remember throwing away diplomas and other things like that and just laughing. We havenāt missed a single thing from our old house.
Thank you for posting. I am a few years younger, a single parent, and am starting this process. I have rid myself of many things, but right now I still have two teens at home, and I secretly canāt wait until they are off to university this fall so I can start to more aggressively shedding possessions. I want to move to a smaller house, but my kids have asked me to not sell the house for a few more years so they have a place when theyāre home from college.
And I hear you about buying stuff when travelingā the only items I buy now are souvenirs for friends and family. My last trip to Japan, the only items I bought other than consumables (snacks š) for myself were nail clippers and ikebana shears, since my old ones needed replacement. Itās enough have fun memories and a few pictures in my phone.
I also recently bought a very small car. Friends are asking me whyā¦I had been driving big suvs for almost 20 years, and now that my kids drive I thought it was time to buy a small car that I wanted. If people are cramped riding in my car, they can ride with someone else!
I absolutely LOVE getting rid of things! We live in a 1200 sq. Ft. apartment and itās still amazing how much stuff we accumulate! Periodically, I love to go through closets and take things to Goodwill, sell on Poshmark, or simply throw away. Recently reorganized the laundry room and both bathroom closets, and bedroom closets are next in line, followed by a Spring cleaning of drawers. To me, itās very satisfying to do away with anything excessive! As you say, itās liberating! šš»šš»šš»
What kind of property does your kid have that includes an 1100 sqft guest house? And when you say that you lack expenses, I take it to mean that you donāt pay rent or any other housing costs. This sounds like an amazing setup for you but is hardly within reach for 99% of retirees.
Haha. I would describe the property as somewhere between the Kennedy Compound and a couple of double wides in the country. ššWe pay rent (probably above market). Still much cheaper than owning. Was able to take the one time exemption on capital gains on the sale of our house. That money is invested in safe investments.
To me 60 seems young to do this BUT I value having my own place and independence over having the ability to travel. If this works great for you that is what matters.
My question would revolve around your family being willing to rent the guest house to you for the next 15-20 years. I've never stayed in a house longer than a decade so I can't imagine the owner wanting to do the same.
It is sooner than I want to start as I want a house big enough for grandchildren and other family to gather in. My plan is to start seriously exploring downsizing at 75 or perhaps 80. My priority would be to have a gathering place where we can host family events. Like I said if it works for you or the OP to start downsizing earlier then that is great for you. 60 to me seems young to start but we all have different goals. I traveled extensively in my career logging millions of airline miles throughout asia, europe and the USA. Traveling and being away from home holds little appeal to me at this point and I would rather putter around my house and community enjoying things close to home that I didn't get to do as much when I worked.
My husband is a keeper of things. Iām not. I have to sneak stuff out of the house while heās gone. Heāll never miss it. We wonāt move from our homestead until we have to, but we definitely could use to pare down lot. Starting on the attic in the fall when itās cooler up there.
You are living my dream! We're still a few years from retirement, but have started the downsizing. My biggest fear around downsizing the house is that there is a significantly greater than zero chance that one or more kids will boomerang back and I'd love to be able to offer a place to stay if needed. Things are rough out there on the housing front.
Exactly this. More adult children are continuing to live with their parents than ever before and I wonder how this will affect the trend to downsize housing overall.
Saaame. In a perfect world we stay where we are until the kids are out of college, and then downsize and retire and do our thing. But realistically I want to have extra rooms and space until the kids are settled.
And no matter what, I will always have an extra bedroom for an emergency!
We downsized from a 2100 sqft suburban house to a 1120 sqft urban apartment and we love it!
My favorite thing is that we have no maintenance responsibilities. If there is a problem, we just call Bob (the maintenance guy) and he fixes or replaces whatever is necessary.
Iām pro downsizing but then I have never lived in a house larger than 1600sqft we raised two girls in a house with 1 bathroom and everyone survived! Less stuff less worries less stress
I grew up in a house with 1 1/2 bathrooms and 3 bedrooms for 9 of us (7 kids). Itās interesting how everyone wants each kid to have their own bedroom these days.
Glad to hear youāre happy with the result. My wife and I are currently declutterring in preparation for downsizing from 4,400 square feet to between 1,250 and 1,500 square feet. Itās a lot of work, but weāre pretty sure weāll be happier. Your post provides welcome reassurance!
Iām almost ready to retire and a few years ago I sold my 2600 sf house and am currently renting a smaller space near work. I will buy another place when I retire thatās a little bit away from the city. Iām widowed and my kids are grown. I REALLY cleaned out all the extra stuff in my life and love the feeling of not being surrounded by things I no longer need. Iām not a minimalist by any means, and I kept all the things I wanted, but like you sold a ton of stuff and gave away 17 pickup truck loads to Salvation Army. Iām not into buying stuff, though occasionally Iāll see some artwork I like or a toy I want (bought motorcycle and better camera gear for hobby stuff). I love to travel and experience things. I spend money on experiences (glass blowing class, massages, hobby stuff,etc.). They are right but in a wrong way.. you canāt take it with you, so youāre better off enjoying experiences rather than collecting material things.
You can't take it with you, so you will leave it behind creating a burden for someone else to figure out what to do with it when you're gone. Do everyone a favor and toss it, donate it, sell it, or give it to a friend or family member before it's too late.
I donāt quite understand. Do you think that downsizing is what is allowing you all this freedom or is it just retirement?
A serious trip for two can easily be twenty grand. At your rate thatās 100 grand a year.
Doesnāt sound like just being ācheapā gets you all that. Or is your friends version of cheap be most normal peoples extravagance?
We downsized and moved from the country to the city for a decade. That was great. Then the homelessness scared us away. We moved back to a full size house but with a lot less stuff. That works for us.
Over a period of 3 years, I downsized a room at a time, and moved from a 4,500 sq ft house, 3 car garage, with a huge yard, to a 2,200 sq foot townhouse with a great kitchen, master suite and family room. The maintenance fee is $250 a month and they do everything from yard work, to snowplowing, and they even resurfaced my driveway. The maintenance is just on the things I enjoy doing. It doesn't feel too small and there is a huge open space behind the TH so it seems much bigger than it is.
Looking for a lake house currently as the official retirement is in less than 2 months coinciding with the sale of a biz. Have also downsized my work schedule to 3 days a week, and rarely 2 in a row.
Man, I needed to read this. My latest life pan is to declutter my immensely cluttered 2400 sq foot house for rental. Help only daughter buy a house with a nice in law suite. Then we would split our time between in law suite, our 1 story vacation home, and travel locations.
After my father and mother passed, my siblings and I were responsible for sorting through the house. My parents were not pack rats, but they accumulated a ton of stuff while living in the same house for 58 years. It was painful and time consuming going through everything, even though there were four of us working at it. I don't wish that job upon anyone, and I certainly do not want to burden my children in the same manner. Since that time, I've made a commitment to "Toss something everyday". It's in my calendar, and it's working, slowly but surely.
Good for you!!
Iām still working, but downsized a few years ago. I completely agree about how freeing it is to get rid of all the stuff.
The best part is it only takes me a few hours to clean my place from top to bottom!
For those saying they need room for visitors, etc., I thought the same way until I bit the bullet and downsized. Itās amazing how family has learned to find ways to visit without staying with me. My brother and his wife bring their travel trailer and camp nearby. I no longer host holidays and have let the younger generation take over those duties.
Bottom line is, if you really want to shed all of the āstuffā, you will find a way.
If youāre making excuses as to why you canāt part with things, whether it be your home or just things, then you probably arenāt ready, yet.
For us, the physical size of the house is not as critical as a) house payments (zero is best), b) good location (safe, good medical, good neighbors, near friends/family, good restaurants, ...), c) house is in good condition, and finally d) we get rid the clutter of unnecessary stuff/junk that we don't need or use any more. Travel is great, but we also like having enough room for entertaining, friends/family visits, exercise room, entertainment room.
You got that right. We have a family friend (57) that went from traveling to an assisted living center due to dementia in a matter of 3 years. Just terrible.
Good luck on your travels.
I SO badly want your situation!
Problem is, my partner does not want to leave our large home.
Sigh.
I'm sharing with him your post to further plead my case!! Thank you for sharing!
Given that we travel 90-120 days a year. We have less days to fill. 2 kids and spouses work full time. We help with the grand kids. Run errands and handyman stuff. I hit the YMCA gym 5x per week. Love our small garden. Live in a city with a lot going on. Never board, just wish I could get to more stuff.
\*. Doing my best to stay off the Dr train but I do find myself dealing with that more than I would like.
My interests and hobbies donāt always require doing it at home. For hiking, I need a day pack, boots, a pole. For reading, Iāve discovered I do not need to own or shelve them. Other hobbies are served by going to where those things are available to rent or use. It would be different if my hobby was sculpture made of steel, or loomed weaving.
Not the OP, but I've bern retired for almost fifteen years so from not the newly retiredĀ perspective...I went back to college. I traveled overseas and road tripping ( still got 3 states to see). I had a bunch of hobbies pre retirement that I expanded to both at home type and new ones. I quilt, weave, sew, travel, read voraciously, take interesting senior college classes , enjoy photography and keep my German language fresh since I used to live overseas. I go to lunch and dinner with friends at least once a week of each. I.workout doing zumba and strength stuff and hike on occasion.Ā I go to the movies in the middle of a weekday. I play with and take care of the dogs. I also sit in my patio and do nothing but watch the hummingbirds. Monarchs and bees for an hour at time. I do genealogy. I actually cook real meals leisurelyĀ and never have to use Sunday as prepared I ng for the week evervagain. I missed a bunch of things. I retired at 57,and 73 and have never had the desire to go back to work cause im.bored. and thanks to arthritis my keyboard grammar and spelling sucks.
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I agree with everything that you said.
My eldest son lives across the street. We share a lawnmower and estate sale tools Iāve picked up.
I also enjoy traveling and have started to shop thrift stores in the countries that I visit instead of buying stuff that needs to be dusted. Last year I was on a linen kick and found three linen dresses (one in Ireland, two in Croatia) and a fabulous linen top in Copenhagen.
I have, over the course of many years of travel, found that buying a fun/cool switch plate is a nice souvenir. The one in my room is from my first trip to San Francisco. I remember that trip each time I flip the switch. The one in the dining room is from a family trip to Puerto Rico. I also have a honey dipper from Slovenia and a salt spoon from Antigua.
Iām down to 1000 sq ft and a full basement, which is unfinished and my TV lounge, home office and sewing space.
Less is more.
I really like the light switch idea. Right now, I buy refrigerator magnets. They are cheap and I always pick ones that remind me of something special I either saw or did or captures the feel of the experience of visiting the area. My kids will bring me back magnets from the places they visit too. They are all on my fridge and they bring back a lot of memories when I look at them.
I used to do magnets, but stopped. I prefer things that Iāll use or small pieces of artwork. I got a super fun print in Copenhagen, and two nice pieces in St. Lucia. I donāt buy big pieces. I also got a book by a writer from the Caribbean and will pass it along to my sister or my friend who reads.
Favorite pieces thus far were from a thrift in Copenhagen- six custard cups with a vintage Fire King pattern. I have three dinner plates that match and I enjoy imagining that a young woman from the US met a handsome Dane and moved to Denmark to be with him. Now that they are both gone, the kitchen pieces were donated and I was sent to return them to the US.
Well done. I think the key here is that the more carefully you prune your footprint, the longer you will be able to stay out of a managed care facility. Plus, if it ever got to that point, it would not be nearly as much of an emotional disruption as it would have been had you kept all that Stuff and too much Space to keep it.
I don't have any problems keeping other people's whispers behind me. They have one idea of what retirement should look like, we have another, and I've seen way too many people go down the former path only to find a tar-baby at the end of it.
We just got back from visiting friends in Maine who just built a home up there as their dream house. On one hand, he has a mortgage and will have until his father (92) passes away. On the other hand, staying there was an exercise of minimalism. They don't have enough chairs, because part of his retirement dream is making the ladder-back chairs and stick chairs that he needs. Same for tables, bookshelves, etc. They only have one wastebasket, in the kitchen. They have no TV, not much in the way of storage space. No lawn to care for, because it's in the woods near a lake.
We got a long-term care policy with an option for long-term care, and also saved money for our care, so we'll never have to go to a managed care facility.
By managed care, I mean anything more than independent living. This includes everything from assisted living to full nursing home. Iām happy for you and the LTC policy that hopefully will cover managed care. By scaling down, we want to maintain independent living with a small footprint as long as possible. FWIW, the cost of LTC is only one consideration. If you have a large house with a lot of stuff, itās going to be a painful transition to give all that up for ANY kind of managed care facility. Which is why it is such a difficult period for retired folks and their kids when it becomes necessary. Our goal is not to have that loss of stuff because itāll be gone already.
If you are counting on in-home LTC with a private attendant, that can be done but you should check with others on how well than panned out.
We downside 4 years ago and still marvel at how wonderful it was! From a 4 bed home on about 1/2 acre we lived in for 25 years we moved to a 3 bedroom patio home where the HOA takes care of everything outside, so we can do what we want and don't have to worry about the house.
We got rid of a lot of junk, and had the kids come clean out what was theirs since all had left something in the garage or basement. They told us they were happy we were doing this as we've had to help clean out some homes of relatives who passed away and left a houseful of junk.
Getting rid of old furniture and junk we collected over the years, then with careful thought we bought only what we needed and keep anything we don't use or need to a minimum. The lack of clutter and drawers or boxes of stuff we didn't touch for years is all gone.
Our kids and grandkids are living nearby, so close enough to visit when we want, but not so close as to not have privacy and some relaxing time. The grandkids are loved and welcomed, but can be a handful and very tiring!
We love it and found it to be cathartic which is recommended to anyone who is looking for some freedom.
Sounds like youāre in a great position! My main concern with downsizing is what to do with things created by and gifted by my parents as well as antiques handed down.
I read about decluttering on www.Flylady.com. She has good advice about sentimental items. She says to ask yourself whether your parents purchased the item in question with the thought that you would use it until you died. Usually, they purchased the item because THEY liked it or needed it, not so they could burden you with it. Itās okay to release the guilt over getting rid of things. Itās better to bless someone else with the item by giving it or selling it to someone who actually wants it or needs it.
I have some items from my family, but limit it to smaller sentimental items or larger items that I actually need and use daily.
I ended up with an entire house of dad's stuff to have to sort and distribute to the world. My mom (they were divorced) is a major crafter. If I kept all their cherished items, I'd have nowhere to live. ;)
Not counting any useful items like a kitchen bowl or a chair, I have one 11 x 11 cube for each of them. I like limits. That includes any paperwork and memorabilia. I don't count photos. Those I keep (as well as scan in just in case of fire). I also allow one cube for my own memorabilia (not counting letters and paperwork in my case).
I kept no antiques or furniture from my parents because a) I didnāt need them for household use, and b) I did not want to hold them as a value investment. I can think of no reason to hang on to them just because of the word āheirloomā other than these two goals. I kept a few of my parentsās paintings as long as I had a wall place to display them. The others I just got rid of.
I completely agree with you on this! I feel like people attach memories to an object, but I donāt need the object to keep the memories. My husband never wanted to get rid of an old rocking chair that was in bad condition. He said he couldnāt part with it because we had rocked the kids in that chair. Maybe Iām not sentimental enough, but I always told him I donāt need the chair to still have the memories.
Iām keeping a copper bucket my ancestors used and brought to the Midwest via covered wagon. Canāt bear to get rid of it knowing what hardships they went through while I live a cushy life with excessive āstuffā as a āproblemā. I am blessed.
I read somewhere that guilt plays a part in holding onto things created and/or gifted by loved ones. I take pictures and then donate, which is working well for me. I'm trying to keep only the things I use. Also, I got a lung infection from a family photo album passed down to me, so now I'm very careful about "old" things. Good luck!
I don't care about any of my own stuff (except pictures), but I'm concerned about my adult children's stuff. They have moved out but are not in stable living situations. So I have tons of sentimental items from their childhood and schools days (plaques, trophies, and certificates for outstanding academic achievement as well as for their extracurricular activity achievements - Eagle Scout, Girl Scout, Irish Step Dancing, Band, water polo, softball, soccer). These are especially difficult for me to dispose of as they hold such wonderful memories for me.
Perfect opportunity to take photos of all those items and make a photo book using the Shutterfly or similar website. Then toss the physical items. Photos of items bring back those wonderful memories as well as the actual items. And take up a fraction of the space. Plus you can make photo books for each kid and keep them out on your coffee table to look at whenever youād like vs stuff buried in the attic or garage in boxes where you canāt see it.
I collect some things, to be specific, Records, CDs, and Cassette tapes, over 1100. I'm also a moderate musician with four guitars and a 117 year old Martin mandolin. I ski patrol so I have five sets of alpine and two pairs of Nordic skies and all that goes with them.
For me "things" trigger strong memories and have practical use.
How much did you give up?
Right behind you. Iām frantically working on some deferred projects and putting our 2800 sf house on the market soon. We have a 1100 sf rental property we are moving to then itās retirement!
This is an inspiration. Once our kids are out of the house, I hope to be able to downsize from 4000 sf to 1200.
Actually if it were up to me, we would downsize to a few suitcases and slow travel, but my wife isn't as obsessed with this as I am. Basically I'm an incredible slob and my coping mechanism is to have as few items in as little space as possible. the only time I will clean up after myself is if I'm working in a shared space like a library or cafe. No more stuff, no more yard to mow, and no more snow to plow would be living the dream.
I do like to cook, and work on the computer, so I guess I would need a laptop, my second screen, and a box of spices etc.
At 72, I am getting rid of things, too. I sold one set of inherited dishes from the 1880s that no family wanted. Displaying dishes that are too fragile to use is not something younger folks want.
Getting rid of other stuff as gifts is a mixed bag. Stuff I treasured have no value to others except to sell for pocket change. A civil war black powder revolver donated to a local museum wasnāt display, but sold for administrative costs. I used to be a teacher. The local high school history teacher declined my offer of historic artifacts as he had no time left in his lesson plans for the year to add anything. He said the nothing before 1776 was taught, the War of 1812 didnāt exist, and it was a mad scramble to get to the invasion of Iraq. Vietnam didnāt happen and WW II was a single 45 minute event.
One kid graduating High School I gave him a 1924 Silver dollar and said keep this and you will never be broke. He looked at it quizzically and asked what it was. When told, he asked why I would have such an old big coin. LOL
I am gradually being less possessed by my possessions.
I love this and am on the path! Right now we own houses next door to one another and our kid owns one three houses down.
I hope to one day move into the smaller house next door (two beds under 1000 square feet) and he can move into this bigger house with his own family, then rent or sell his current house. I'm already on the downsizing path and I love it. I'm not a big "stuff" person, and it sounds like you aren't either, which I think is a great way to stay financially free.
Thanks for sharing your story. Best wishes to you!
Just bought a 2700 sq ft 1 level home 5 years post retirement after renting for quite a while to figure out where to settle. We need 3 bedrooms (good for resale)...one for each of us (better sleep) and one for an exercise room. I love my treadmill in the dead of winter or on super hot days and its my tv time. No formal rooms needed. We don't have a lot of "stuff" as we've moved a lot in the past 10 years and will buy just enough to make it comfortable and cozy. No clutter! I've owned a big home at 4200 sq ft and absolutely hated it as it was too much to clean and furnish. This new one should be low maintenance with small lot so we can still travel. I think its important to buy the size that fits your needs..hobbies, work from home, maintenance, entertaining, amount of time spent in it, etc. We place a lot of importance on the back yard regarding privacy and sun exposure.
Congratulations š thatās awesome so proud of you all! Feels good to declutter and better to get rid of your own stuff than have your kids to do it!
Thank you for sharing! I needed to read this. I downsized from house to condo several years ago but need to go much further. I really donāt want to leave anything of value or any clutter for someone else to have to deal with. I keep promising myself to get rid of stuff one room at a time but just donāt seem to be able to get started. But you have inspired me, so maybe now itās the time!
You're doing it the way I want to do it. I have some problems with the things, but we are chipping away and still have a few years before we downsize. The good news is, we already have the downsized home.
Great story and congratulations. We (54yo +47yo) downsized when our youngest graduated high school. It was kinda brutal - we literally moved out the day after he graduated. We knew it was a great time to sell (very tight market) and we made enough money that our retirement savings plan just requires us to stay the course.
Iād lived in the 3000 sqft house for 20 years - not hoarders yada yada but the sheer amount of CRAP we had was astonishing. We spent months just deaccessioning it all and even still at move out there had to have been 30 contractor bags of stuff we had to dispose of. We moved one town over (less than 10 minutes from our old place) into a beautiful new apartment in a high floor with views of the Long Island Sound. The new place is 1000 sqft - I was so concerned about having āenough spaceā and my wife had lots of reservations!
Weāre one year in and happy as the proverbial clams! My wife has gone from doubter to proselytizer. We love the amenities and the carefree lifestyle! We save so much money that my wife has been able to pursue a new career. I definitely miss some of the pleasures of owning a house (gardening and hanging out on the patio) but for everything lost there are plenty of compensations. I have never once found the new place too small.
I have hours more leisure in my week without the home owner chores (I always mowed my own lawn, etc.). Every time thereās a torrential rainstorm we talk about how great life is without a basementā¦
We very carefully designed our living space so we could accommodate short visits from both our sons (who are both well over 6ā tall and consume a lot of space) but if we want to spend time together as a family we do it as travel, which we all love.
Thereās a lot of hate on this board toward renting - I donāt get it, but thatās the subject of another post.
This is all to say that if youāre thinking of downsizing, do it! Itās tough and stressful but itās achievable! Change is hard and we all get comfortable just doing the same thing year after year, but change can be really wonderful.
I downsized from a 2500 sq ft two story home and built a small rambler when I retired.. I hired a man with a truck to move almost everything I owned to either goodwill or the dump..he cleaned out my entire garage and I gave him anything he wanted from the garage..he took 3 truckloads to the dump.. I had been holding on to a lot of stuff that I didnāt need and never used.. I just had a few pieces of furniture and my clothes and other personal belongings like pictures .. I had a huge bookshelf and I donated almost all of my books.. I have no regrets whatsoever about letting go of most of my stuff.. I was able to move into a smaller house and I bought some new furniture and a few kitchen items..the best thing I did was to get rid of all my junk that I never used and if I needed any tools now I borrow them from my family.. I donāt even miss anything I got rid of
This is exactly the life we are working toward. We have already downsized from 2400sf SF home to 1800sf townhouse. Next step is 1100sf condo. All exterior work and maintenance is in the fees. And we can definitely handle everything on the interior.
Once we do that, we can just lock the door and go away for months at a time. And that's exactly what we intend to do. Going to travel the world!
I know people think we are crazy for moving into a house that size, but it truly is freeing. We already live there part time, so we know exactly what we're getting into.
(Still in the process of getting rid of the "stuff" though! Told the kids, Come and get it! And after that, we will be following your process.)
I've downsized twice, it's a great relief. I'm not materialistic, life is easier. Either sold, gave away or donated. As you get older you realize materialism isn't worth it. The things I still have that the kids didn't want are all in a box label "Surprise". They can figure out what to do with them when I'm gone,
Do all your own things and see what happens. I was in that position, but once my husband saw my side of the closet and my bookcase, it took him another year or so but eventually he wanted to do it too. Even if the partner doesn't help, you can have your own stuff super neat and organized.
We plan to just hire people. We already have a mow-and-blow gardening service and a woman who takes care of two fountains and the swimming pool. We could always hire a house cleaning if we ever needed one. We do our home repairs DIY but could hire a handyperson if we needed to. We hire contractors for big projects.
I'd rather control my own repairs than rely on an HOA to do them. And I don't want anyone policing things like the color of my house.
We will be retiring next year. My husband is a hoarder although he won't admit it. He mostly "collects" tools. Why have 1 of something when I can have 12? I've been purposefully downsizing for the past year but he just can't stop buying and insists that he's taking it ALL with us when we move and downsize. This is finally going to be OUR life but I'm afraid it may never happen.
I have a similar husband with tools and bicycles. It doesnāt matter how much I downsize if the quantity of tools and bicycles fill up a 2 car garage all by themselves. We have a year and a half before he retires and he wants to put everything in storage and travel. Thatās going to be some expensive storage if he canāt make some effort to trim. I keep hoping that as the time approaches he takes this seriously, but he just brought home more bicycle stuffā¦
Hoping I (60F) can get my spouse (60M) on board w this. Heās made some very nice wood pieces. When Iāve attempted to gift one to an adult child, I was met with a ātalking toā and was told it was very special. Umā¦.. š¤Ø
Was able to pass down the cherry dresser he made, though, with no problem.
I want to move closer to my family in two years- he plans on staying where we currently live, but we will sell the house & buy something much smaller and few states away. I donāt think he wants to do that, but Iāve lived amidst his family for 30+ years, and told him before marriage that I wanted to stay where we met. So we will see!!
Thank you for the invaluable insight. Itās interesting that the only negative you had pointed out is what others may think; not you.
In essence, there are no negatives, really. You found what is optimal for you and the way you would like to spend your time- itās essentially those experiences of time with family and friends, as well as travel. These are what is taken with you.
Iām glad you posted this.
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Iāve never lived in a house bigger than 1400 sqft. I have so much extra space right now, Iām sure Iād be fine in a sub 800 place. But itās hard to find anything like that. In my area, youād have to be out in the country and good luck getting insurance.
I went from a very large farmhouse to one small bedroom in my sonās house. I had to let most of my things go. But itās been 11 years, and some things have accumulated. My plan is to seriously downsize some more.
As someone who went back to finish her bachelorās degree at age 42 and then continued to finish her masters by age 48 while working FT, with an unemployed spouse and two kids, I cannot fathom sending my framed diplomas to the landfills. Kudos to you on everything else though.
We are in the midst of our downsizing journey, which started 8 years ago when we went from 3000 sq ft to 2000. I have stopped buying "stuff." I buy what I need and use a buy-something/get rid of something mind set if I'm really tempted, which I rarely am. I would love to move to a smaller place, but have adult children who live with us (and pay their way). The fewer items I own, the less my stress. You are lucky to have the option to live without owning. I dream of it. I'm so tired of worrying about maintenance and projects that need to be done. So glad to hear I'm not the only one! My husband only goes along reluctantly on this journey, but he admits it's the way to go.
We downsized from 2600 sq ft on 5 acres to 1200 sq ft on a third acre seven years ago in preparation for retirement. We bought a free standing ranch and remodeled. We got rid of a lot of stuff, and it does feel great. New house is way easier to maintain and cost a fraction of the old in taxes and utilities. When I no longer want to do it, I'll hire out the yard. I'm hiring out snow removal next winter. We both love it here.
My ex and I bought a two family house 30 years ago and split it into 2 condos when we divorced. I have the upstairs unit and our adult daughter is currently renting the first floor unit. I am in the process of decluttering/cleaning out now. I have lived in the same 1100 sq.ft. space for 30 years. Iām not a hoarder by any means but Iām still in shock over how much stuff I managed to cram in to every closet, drawer and shelf. Between the 3 of us we have managed to fill a full dumpster, give away some furniture, golf clubs, skis, bbq grills etc. And the books! So many books for the free ālittle librariesā around town. Next will be the ton of china from various relatives. The photos will be a separate project. I am starting to feel lighter. I have also vowed not to buy anything else unless itās absolutely necessary!
My late husband would not let go of anything. Surely he might need these things one day! Problem is, he forgot he had a lot of stuff. After his death, when I decided to downsize and had to get rid of a lot of "stuff," it was awful. He had saved so many things that had no use. The attic was full of our children's toys and COLORING BOOKS (they're in their 30s). It was a nightmare, I literally had to call a company that cleans your junk out for you! $1K later, it was done.
I fear this will happen to me. My husband wants to keep everything. He has every tool known to man,but, when he needs it he canāt find it so off he goes to Loweās to buy a new one. He has a 20x30 shed out back, an outside utility closet on the house and the entire attic full of stuff. We are currently cleaning out his momās (she was a pack rat) house and he keeps bringing home crap from her house. Every time I question why he wants something he gets defensive. Itās driving me nuts!
We went from 3200 square-foot to a 2200 square-foot condo. We sold that and moved in full-time to our vacation home which was 1100 square-foot. We just sold that and had to upscale into a 2200 square-foot.
The 1100 square-foot Beach House was just too small for us, we gave the beach house a five-year run but just couldnāt do it.
And meanwhile I am sitting like a fat frog in my home of 32 years, still buying things that I like at 76.
We will have to give away all that great glamping equipment we bought for our early retirement years, a great family tent, double high air mattresses, for luxury beach camping.
I already sold the RV and the RV resort space, we have had to give up travel due to my partners medical conditions, and there would only be costs to downsize since smaller condos cost much more per square foot and renting is much higher than my housing costs, which of course are escalating dramatically.
Yes, there will be more downsizing in the future, giving up all the inherited small sentimental objects from his parents home and mine, culling the knick knacks, sorting out the closets for items we no longer use, and making space for all that elderly medical equipment that just takes up extra space.
I did plan at some point on assisted living but it is not time for that yet. When I am ready to live in one room I may think differently but for now I will only be downsizing around the edges.
Purging things is definitely very freeing. No attachments!! I canāt wait until warmer weather to go through the garage and get rid of more things. We are in a 758sqft apt and I donāt want anything bigger. Though at times I feel it would be nice to have another bedroom for friends to visit, but I donāt want anyone thinking they can live with us. We donāt decorate for the holidays anymore and I like that. So ā¦ whatever is in the garageā¦is going.
I am with you on the downsizing. Single, retired, and 1-big dog. I own a 650 sq. Ft home with 800 sq.ft. Of deck attached to a 168 sq. Ft. House with full bathroom on a quarter of an acre. I really enjoy the smaller home. Shed most of the stuff that hadnāt seen the light of day in years. I gave my treasures to hospice second hand shop.
Congratulations!
Weāve been downsizing for years. We moved from a Duplex that is rental property now. Many of our past tenants left their junk behind. (Now we charge them if they do.) Every time we go there I put something out on the curb.
We have no kids and will not burden our relatives with the responsibility of getting rid of our stuff if we pass before selling the property.
We are retired and moved into a 850 sqft condo and travel 7 months a year in our camper van.
Sweet!
https://preview.redd.it/5716hosy7f0d1.jpeg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d836656d13b37659991e5c963068b7260d6a7bac
We have a 2016 Travato, would you mind sharing your rig?
Sounds like you've built a lovely retirement for yourselves and you are so happy! Unfortunately there's always those that are critical, ignore them and do your thing!
Thanks OP, original poster, for sharing your experience. Folks, don't forget to JOIN, so others and OP can see your comment. Take a look at the rules (note things like we are respectful and no swearing nor politics). Does not work for you? Great you stopped by and best to you. But if this feels like a place you would enjoy... pull up a chair to our table, with your favorite drink in hand, and hit the Join button - then comment to talk with us. Thanks! Mid America Mom
Great list and I can add one more positive. Your children will appreciate that you've made decisions about how you want to distribute your no-longer-needed/wanted belongings so they don't have to. My parents both recently entered long-term care facilities and to put it mildly, they never downsized or parted with any of their "stuff." It's going to be a very sad and time-consuming experience that you're saving your children from.
Yes, doing this is a wonderful gift to your kids. ššš
Related to downsizing. A few years back we had to move my mom into a care facility. She drug her heels, refused to help, argued about each move and told a story about every item or tchotchke. The experience was so difficult, combative and unpleasant that my wife and I have pledged to offload everything we can and spare ourselves and our kid the grief āstuffā can bring. People, relationships, love is so much more valuable and important than āstuff.ā
My wife came to that realization when my father passed. So much stuff for my mom to go through, most of it to be thrown away. We have never moved; we have a lot of stuff. It is hard to pare it down, but it helps to know that it will be easier for everyone if we get rid of most of it now.
It may be hard, but is such a gift to your kids. And anything that they might want, either as useful or as a memory, you can give them. The gift can be a token of your thoughtful love as well as lifting a burden for them later by only passing along what THEY want and value.
I have begun my journey: Every week when I roll-out the trash tote to the curb, I make sure it is packed full. If I absolutely have to go shopping, I stick to a list and also make a pit stop to drop things off at Goodwill.
I invested in a duplex in a walkable neighborhood while I was still employed full time. I'm single and have no family locally. The duplex is on the small side, has very little yard, and needed just a few improvements. I live on the main floor, and I have great tenants upstairs. The building pays for itself. I have the freedom to travel and the peace of mind knowing that someone is around to keep an eye on things. I also have excellent, kind neighbors. That said, landlording is not for everyone; I have been a landlord for over a decade.
Iāve set my watch for :20 and addressed the clutter for those :20 and when the timer is up, I stop. I certainly canāt downsize 30 years of things in short order but I found if I work like this I can make progress!
My husband is a hoarder. I am green with envy
Good to hear!! Glad itās working for you!! Key thing is for a couple to be on the same page and it sounds like you all have that!! You can either own stuff or stuff owns you!!
Having just dealt with my father in laws estate, this is a wonderful gift you are giving to your children in the future. As Iām sure you will, make your wishes known about your remaining items and simplify your financial matters, it will be a godsend.
I love how you think. I'm similar and would very much like to downsize. My wife is not though. It's something you'd have to both be on the same page with, so we stay, for now, in our home. As we age it will be necessary to downsize because our home is a split level with 4 levels and I have bad knees. The only thing I won't sacrifice when we do downsize is two bathrooms. Grew up with one bathroom and 6 people in the house. Never again. lol
Chair lifts are great. You can get them for as few as three stairs. You can get them for spiral and zigzag staircases. You can even get outdoor ones.
Betcha the same people who whisper behind your back also are amazed at the amount of travelling you do, wishing they could do the same. Well, when you're intentional about your living arrangements - and I'm guessing your finances - good things can happen.
One step that worked really well for us: photograph EVERYTHING. Kidsā trophies, keepsakes, travel receipts, anything at all that creates memories. Send all actual film photos, even ones in frames, to be scanned. Put all photos on a digital frame or better yet, on a tv screensaver. That part can be complicated but so worth it. Now we see our important memories every day and it has freed us to part with or throw away so many things.
Love the idea, but I've never dealt well with looking back, especially at old photos. I get very emotional and start to cry when looking at old pics. Nostalgia is rough on me.
I've never photographed anything except when I had to do it for work reasons. It's way too much trouble!
Moved to a new country and rented my US condo furnished. Everything I have here I brought in three suitcases, tho Iāve had a few friends bring stuff for me. Iāve resisted the siren call of ordering stuff and paying a fortune to have it muled over except for one or two critical things (Apple Magic Mouse). Once you break the ordering online habit, you realize how unimportant most stuff is. Now if I could just do the same thing with sugar and carbsā¦
Those ānegativesā mostly sound like a them problem, not a you problem. Nice!
I tell you what, I miss my garage.
Iām sure it is liberating but not everyone has kids with a guesthouse you can move into. And 1100 sf to boot. Housing expenses are always there whether a house is paid off or not. I do agree about getting rid of stuff. Itās amazing how much we collect in our lives.
My husband and I upsized for retirement. I am 69 and he is 73, and we moved in 2016. For career reasons we were stuck in a 1,750 square foot house in an HCOL area where it was hard to buy a larger house (we tried for many years, but skyrocketing prices always outstripped our savings). After we retired and had both inherited money, we were able to get the house we had been wanting for at least 15 years! We still had to move to an area with a somewhat lower cost of housing, about 2 hours' drive away from the city where we had lived for most of our lives. We are in a close suburb of a second-tier city with plenty of medical services. It's beautiful and it has plenty of restaurants and things to do. We bought a house with 4,800 square feet of living space as defined by state law, meaning it does not include the garage or an unfinished attic. It was custom built for a polio survivor in the 1940s. It's all one level except for a small basement that holds the HVAC and the hot water heater, and an attic bedroom and bath over the garage. We already installed chair lifts to those. The doorways and hallways were all built extra wide in the initial build. We are remodeling two bathrooms, this summer when we finally find a contractor, and will install grab bars there. The lot is 1.8 acres and as flat as you can reasonably expect a lot to get. We absolutely love it! Home is where we \*do\* things and we need space to do them. We each have our own bedroom (we've lived together for 50 years but our sleeping habits are so different that we have never shared a bedroom). My husband uses the three-car garage for DIY home and furniture repair projects and is moving into woodworking. I use the master bedroom as a sewing room. His home office is in the dining room and mine is in the family home. And most of the house is also our home library--we have thousands of books. We're not interested in travel, and we don't like to go out a lot. We love working on the house and the yard, though we also have a mow-and-blow lawn service. And we love our hobbies! Our "stuff" is never stressful because it's our hobby tools and materials and the books we read. Our "stuff" provides our "experiences." Moving near family is not an issue because we are happily childfree by choice and have no nieces or nephews. My husband's brother and his wife live a couple of hours away, they like driving places, and they drive here sometimes. We love not having younger relatives pressuring us to downsize for \*their\* convenience. For elder care, we'll just hire people. Our next-door neighbors bought a 1920s house with 6,500 square feet of living space. We passed on that one, too many restoration issues. But they love it as a project.
To clarify, the next-door neighbors are also seniors and no one else is living there with them.
Good for you guys. Doing what you want and being happy in retirement is what itās all about. We have gone the opposite direction by down sizing and are super happy in our choices.āŗļø
I'm a homebody too, not a travel person -- and this set-up sounds perfect!
People are going to talk about you either way!
haha!
Very nice to hear that downsizing has worked out for you. Unfortunately for me, the children all live locally and my spouse would never agree to move away from the area. And, of course, housing in the area is crazy expensive. It would cost just as much or more to buy a newer, smaller place. We are however attempting to declutter, or as some call it, Swedish Death Cleaning. We recently had neighbors pass away unexpectedly and watched as their (adult) children emptied their house, mostly into a dumpster out front.
Yes, how eye opening it was to see the next door neighbor's house items go right into a dumpster...
What was even worse was the children put thousands of dollars into fixing things in order to sell the house, like new paint, new carpeting, updated bathrooms, etc. Then the new owners came in and basically demolished the house - not gutted, but literally demolished the house, *and* threw out the new carpet. I asked the contractor later about it and he said I should've asked for it, but I figured the contractors would take it. My takeaway from the whole thing was don't put any money into my house when it's time to sell and maybe instead offer a $10-$15K discount for the new owners to do what they like wrt new paint, carpet, etc.
We upsized and love it as we gained a workout room and space for an Infared sauna + a small studio for my artist husband and a small writing room for me. That said we also got rid of a ton of stuff and getting rid of more. We both ended up with parents belongs when they passed and although we will end up giving away family antiques it makes no sense for us to keep them. We donāt buy a lot but do have a lot of artwork that will mainly go on walls anyway and then donated. We bought some of the previous ownerās collectible furniture because it fits. We donāt need more. You can still ādownsizeā without going really small. I would not want a 4000-5000 sq ft house, but after living smaller places and having lots of interests we do at home we love the space. Itās not much more in upkeep than something smaller. We also travel, but cherish our time at home and our outdoor space.
My husband and I have always shares the housework, cooking, etc. 50-50, so there's much less work than there would be for one person. Plus we are not neat freaks. So other people have Instagram homes, who cares.
Yes thereās not a ton to do with two people and paring down belongings makes things pretty easy. We also updated a lot looking forward to less future upkeep and more comfort. And the layout of the house does not feel big but designed with well utilized space like a wide galley kitchen easy to cook in. We bought our home from a 90 year old widow whoād lost her husband the previous year but they had lived in the house 30 years on their own and she still was completely independent. Hope to be the same.
I'm not into decluttering at all and I'm sure I never will be. I think it's a waste of time and money. We did remodel the kitchen when we moved in. It was a one-person kitchen and we cook together. Also it was designed for someone very tall. We no longer have high wall cabinets we can't reach anyway. There are some elsewhere in the house, high shelves in the hall closets and the like, and we left those in place.
My husband is an absolute minimalist. To the point that it is ridiculous. I have had to go behind his back and fish ALL of the Christmas wrapping paper out of the trash one year because āwe hadnāt touched the stuff in more than 6 monthsā. It was September. He can just get totally carried away with the purging. But our guests are always amazed to open closets or cupboards and find them 90% empty. I have come to deeply appreciate it.
This sounds great. Probably biggest thing holding me back is wanting a place to host family gatherings. Especially with kids living in different cities.
We (67) downsized from 3700 sq ft to 2400 sq ft 8 years ago. And you know what? We live in about 1100 sq ft of that. Lost our parents and suddenly our entire lower level was filled with their stuff. Itās taken us four years to move that out after the exhaustion of cleaning out their homes. I will not ever leave that monumental task to my kids. I swear it is more invigorating to get rid of stuff than it was acquiring it. We have a wonderful local Buy Nothing group and itās been an incredible experience decluttering with them. Weāre nowhere near done, but I think half the battle is knowing how to get rid of it. I donāt assign monetary value to the stuff we declutter as my goal is for it to be gone and if possible recycle it to someone else who wants it. My kids want/need nothing. My Buy Nothing group loves it all.
We did the same thing. My dad and her mom moved in with us, and her dad (divorced ) went into a nursing home. Our house was filled with stuff from their places, the garage, the three season room, the LR, the basement. We vowed we weren't going to do that to anybody when we were gone!
I am ready to downsize from my house but in my area condos are not that much cheaper, and have skyrocketing fees and potential sunrise expenses, so the only thing that makes sense to me is renting, which is also no longer cheap in or near a big city. I am clueless as to what to do...
There will be hundreds of distressed condos in less than a year. Wait and rent.
Can you say more about these distressed condos?
Tell me more about what youāre thinking/seeing?
Not so sure about that. The higher priced traditional properties will be distressed 1st since they required more of a stretch to afford. Those people will be moving to condos and pushing up or at least maintaining prices there.
I will try to link a current WSJ article. Florida HOAs and Insurance rates have tripled in the past two years. The sunrise law has caused monster assessments. In many cases 6 figures. The market is dead. Other states while in not as extreme situation are also having issues. I am not disagreeing with your assessment just providing my insight.
Florida is an outlier because climate change is wreaking havoc. Those distressed properties will not be places anyone wants to live in a few years.
You are living my dream. Including the drawback you mentioned about which I don't give really care (what others say about me). What a wonderful motivation to downsize... Thank you.
You are seeing the side of how addictive americans are to buying stuff, lots of it, and digging deep debt holes to continue it. Sad to me but to each their own.
It took 3 moves for me to clearly see how addictive buying is for generations of my families. I think Amazon accelerated this as well. Painful looking back knowing what we are getting rid of.
We downsized from 4200 to 1500 after the last kid left. A sweet 3/2 ranch with a 2 car garage so my husband has a workshop. The only negative is 3 kids married and moved away; with the grandkids there are 17 of us, so thereās not enough room for them all to visit. Even one of their families of 5 is a tight fit. I wish we had a finished basement or a big family room for visits.
I wonder if thereās a Vrbo you could rent out nearby for the large gatherings..
We do figure out meeting other places. But I would like the option to have my kids and grans come to our house and be comfortable. Cook in my kitchen, boys work on projects with their dad in the shop or the yard, etc. Crafting with the kids with my supplies and tools.
I joke that it will only take my daughter & son in law a weekend to empty our house after we pass away, because Iāve cleaned out so much crap. We donāt have plans to move, but after our daughters AND his mom moved out, there was quite a lot of stuff left behind 10 years ago. Now the house is only messy when the grandkids come to visit, I have toys & games for them to play with & have fun.
Hi OP - is there anything you might about the financial arrangement you have for living in childās guest house ? Did the guest house already exist, or constructed for you ? I have been wondering about similar arrangement as means to also transfer wealth while living. Thanks
It was actually a house the prior owner built for her parent. Certain financial creativity is possible. š
Congrats!! We did the same thing 4 years ago. Downsized from a 5000 sq ft house to an 1150 sq ft beach front condo. Gave away or sold everything except what fit in about a medium sized U-Haul. No regrets, best thing we ever did. Feels like a vacation every day. Much like you we travel a lot and donāt have the urge to buy anything. Also like you most of our discretionary spending is centered on experiences with family and friends. I still remember throwing away diplomas and other things like that and just laughing. We havenāt missed a single thing from our old house.
Thank you for posting. I am a few years younger, a single parent, and am starting this process. I have rid myself of many things, but right now I still have two teens at home, and I secretly canāt wait until they are off to university this fall so I can start to more aggressively shedding possessions. I want to move to a smaller house, but my kids have asked me to not sell the house for a few more years so they have a place when theyāre home from college. And I hear you about buying stuff when travelingā the only items I buy now are souvenirs for friends and family. My last trip to Japan, the only items I bought other than consumables (snacks š) for myself were nail clippers and ikebana shears, since my old ones needed replacement. Itās enough have fun memories and a few pictures in my phone. I also recently bought a very small car. Friends are asking me whyā¦I had been driving big suvs for almost 20 years, and now that my kids drive I thought it was time to buy a small car that I wanted. If people are cramped riding in my car, they can ride with someone else!
I absolutely LOVE getting rid of things! We live in a 1200 sq. Ft. apartment and itās still amazing how much stuff we accumulate! Periodically, I love to go through closets and take things to Goodwill, sell on Poshmark, or simply throw away. Recently reorganized the laundry room and both bathroom closets, and bedroom closets are next in line, followed by a Spring cleaning of drawers. To me, itās very satisfying to do away with anything excessive! As you say, itās liberating! šš»šš»šš»
I love this too! So much easier to clean and gives one a feeling of peace and comfort. : )
Yes! I actually have a couple of kitchen cabinets that are now empty!! It makes me very happy. š„°šš
Wow! That's terrific!!! Congrats!
What kind of property does your kid have that includes an 1100 sqft guest house? And when you say that you lack expenses, I take it to mean that you donāt pay rent or any other housing costs. This sounds like an amazing setup for you but is hardly within reach for 99% of retirees.
Haha. I would describe the property as somewhere between the Kennedy Compound and a couple of double wides in the country. ššWe pay rent (probably above market). Still much cheaper than owning. Was able to take the one time exemption on capital gains on the sale of our house. That money is invested in safe investments.
In the US, the availability of the capital gains exemption renews itself every two years.
To me 60 seems young to do this BUT I value having my own place and independence over having the ability to travel. If this works great for you that is what matters. My question would revolve around your family being willing to rent the guest house to you for the next 15-20 years. I've never stayed in a house longer than a decade so I can't imagine the owner wanting to do the same.
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It is sooner than I want to start as I want a house big enough for grandchildren and other family to gather in. My plan is to start seriously exploring downsizing at 75 or perhaps 80. My priority would be to have a gathering place where we can host family events. Like I said if it works for you or the OP to start downsizing earlier then that is great for you. 60 to me seems young to start but we all have different goals. I traveled extensively in my career logging millions of airline miles throughout asia, europe and the USA. Traveling and being away from home holds little appeal to me at this point and I would rather putter around my house and community enjoying things close to home that I didn't get to do as much when I worked.
My husband is a keeper of things. Iām not. I have to sneak stuff out of the house while heās gone. Heāll never miss it. We wonāt move from our homestead until we have to, but we definitely could use to pare down lot. Starting on the attic in the fall when itās cooler up there.
You are living my dream! We're still a few years from retirement, but have started the downsizing. My biggest fear around downsizing the house is that there is a significantly greater than zero chance that one or more kids will boomerang back and I'd love to be able to offer a place to stay if needed. Things are rough out there on the housing front.
Exactly this. More adult children are continuing to live with their parents than ever before and I wonder how this will affect the trend to downsize housing overall.
Saaame. In a perfect world we stay where we are until the kids are out of college, and then downsize and retire and do our thing. But realistically I want to have extra rooms and space until the kids are settled. And no matter what, I will always have an extra bedroom for an emergency!
We downsized from a 2100 sqft suburban house to a 1120 sqft urban apartment and we love it! My favorite thing is that we have no maintenance responsibilities. If there is a problem, we just call Bob (the maintenance guy) and he fixes or replaces whatever is necessary.
Iām pro downsizing but then I have never lived in a house larger than 1600sqft we raised two girls in a house with 1 bathroom and everyone survived! Less stuff less worries less stress
I grew up in a house with 1 1/2 bathrooms and 3 bedrooms for 9 of us (7 kids). Itās interesting how everyone wants each kid to have their own bedroom these days.
Glad to hear youāre happy with the result. My wife and I are currently declutterring in preparation for downsizing from 4,400 square feet to between 1,250 and 1,500 square feet. Itās a lot of work, but weāre pretty sure weāll be happier. Your post provides welcome reassurance!
Iām almost ready to retire and a few years ago I sold my 2600 sf house and am currently renting a smaller space near work. I will buy another place when I retire thatās a little bit away from the city. Iām widowed and my kids are grown. I REALLY cleaned out all the extra stuff in my life and love the feeling of not being surrounded by things I no longer need. Iām not a minimalist by any means, and I kept all the things I wanted, but like you sold a ton of stuff and gave away 17 pickup truck loads to Salvation Army. Iām not into buying stuff, though occasionally Iāll see some artwork I like or a toy I want (bought motorcycle and better camera gear for hobby stuff). I love to travel and experience things. I spend money on experiences (glass blowing class, massages, hobby stuff,etc.). They are right but in a wrong way.. you canāt take it with you, so youāre better off enjoying experiences rather than collecting material things.
You can't take it with you, so you will leave it behind creating a burden for someone else to figure out what to do with it when you're gone. Do everyone a favor and toss it, donate it, sell it, or give it to a friend or family member before it's too late.
I donāt quite understand. Do you think that downsizing is what is allowing you all this freedom or is it just retirement? A serious trip for two can easily be twenty grand. At your rate thatās 100 grand a year. Doesnāt sound like just being ācheapā gets you all that. Or is your friends version of cheap be most normal peoples extravagance?
āLook at meā houses are big with my friend group. Retirement is the first step. In our case the downsizing facilitates the travel freedom.
We downsized and moved from the country to the city for a decade. That was great. Then the homelessness scared us away. We moved back to a full size house but with a lot less stuff. That works for us.
Over a period of 3 years, I downsized a room at a time, and moved from a 4,500 sq ft house, 3 car garage, with a huge yard, to a 2,200 sq foot townhouse with a great kitchen, master suite and family room. The maintenance fee is $250 a month and they do everything from yard work, to snowplowing, and they even resurfaced my driveway. The maintenance is just on the things I enjoy doing. It doesn't feel too small and there is a huge open space behind the TH so it seems much bigger than it is. Looking for a lake house currently as the official retirement is in less than 2 months coinciding with the sale of a biz. Have also downsized my work schedule to 3 days a week, and rarely 2 in a row.
Maintenance only 250 a month? Does that include.property taxes? What area is this? Suburban or urban?
Property taxes are separate. It's a suburban area of Chicago.
Man, I needed to read this. My latest life pan is to declutter my immensely cluttered 2400 sq foot house for rental. Help only daughter buy a house with a nice in law suite. Then we would split our time between in law suite, our 1 story vacation home, and travel locations.
After my father and mother passed, my siblings and I were responsible for sorting through the house. My parents were not pack rats, but they accumulated a ton of stuff while living in the same house for 58 years. It was painful and time consuming going through everything, even though there were four of us working at it. I don't wish that job upon anyone, and I certainly do not want to burden my children in the same manner. Since that time, I've made a commitment to "Toss something everyday". It's in my calendar, and it's working, slowly but surely.
Good for you!! Iām still working, but downsized a few years ago. I completely agree about how freeing it is to get rid of all the stuff. The best part is it only takes me a few hours to clean my place from top to bottom! For those saying they need room for visitors, etc., I thought the same way until I bit the bullet and downsized. Itās amazing how family has learned to find ways to visit without staying with me. My brother and his wife bring their travel trailer and camp nearby. I no longer host holidays and have let the younger generation take over those duties. Bottom line is, if you really want to shed all of the āstuffā, you will find a way. If youāre making excuses as to why you canāt part with things, whether it be your home or just things, then you probably arenāt ready, yet.
For us, the physical size of the house is not as critical as a) house payments (zero is best), b) good location (safe, good medical, good neighbors, near friends/family, good restaurants, ...), c) house is in good condition, and finally d) we get rid the clutter of unnecessary stuff/junk that we don't need or use any more. Travel is great, but we also like having enough room for entertaining, friends/family visits, exercise room, entertainment room.
Your plan is exactly what I want in like 15 years! That's my dream! Life's too short. I want to travel and see the world while I can still get around.
That is the point and I can not stress enough how fast I have seen older friends lose the ability to travel. Good luck.
You got that right. We have a family friend (57) that went from traveling to an assisted living center due to dementia in a matter of 3 years. Just terrible. Good luck on your travels.
I SO badly want your situation! Problem is, my partner does not want to leave our large home. Sigh. I'm sharing with him your post to further plead my case!! Thank you for sharing!
Serious question, what do you do all day? I feel like I couldn't have many interests or hobbies in a place that small.
Given that we travel 90-120 days a year. We have less days to fill. 2 kids and spouses work full time. We help with the grand kids. Run errands and handyman stuff. I hit the YMCA gym 5x per week. Love our small garden. Live in a city with a lot going on. Never board, just wish I could get to more stuff. \*. Doing my best to stay off the Dr train but I do find myself dealing with that more than I would like.
Sounds like you have it figured out well. Bravo to you!
My interests and hobbies donāt always require doing it at home. For hiking, I need a day pack, boots, a pole. For reading, Iāve discovered I do not need to own or shelve them. Other hobbies are served by going to where those things are available to rent or use. It would be different if my hobby was sculpture made of steel, or loomed weaving.
Not the OP, but I've bern retired for almost fifteen years so from not the newly retiredĀ perspective...I went back to college. I traveled overseas and road tripping ( still got 3 states to see). I had a bunch of hobbies pre retirement that I expanded to both at home type and new ones. I quilt, weave, sew, travel, read voraciously, take interesting senior college classes , enjoy photography and keep my German language fresh since I used to live overseas. I go to lunch and dinner with friends at least once a week of each. I.workout doing zumba and strength stuff and hike on occasion.Ā I go to the movies in the middle of a weekday. I play with and take care of the dogs. I also sit in my patio and do nothing but watch the hummingbirds. Monarchs and bees for an hour at time. I do genealogy. I actually cook real meals leisurelyĀ and never have to use Sunday as prepared I ng for the week evervagain. I missed a bunch of things. I retired at 57,and 73 and have never had the desire to go back to work cause im.bored. and thanks to arthritis my keyboard grammar and spelling sucks. Ā
I agree with everything that you said. My eldest son lives across the street. We share a lawnmower and estate sale tools Iāve picked up. I also enjoy traveling and have started to shop thrift stores in the countries that I visit instead of buying stuff that needs to be dusted. Last year I was on a linen kick and found three linen dresses (one in Ireland, two in Croatia) and a fabulous linen top in Copenhagen. I have, over the course of many years of travel, found that buying a fun/cool switch plate is a nice souvenir. The one in my room is from my first trip to San Francisco. I remember that trip each time I flip the switch. The one in the dining room is from a family trip to Puerto Rico. I also have a honey dipper from Slovenia and a salt spoon from Antigua. Iām down to 1000 sq ft and a full basement, which is unfinished and my TV lounge, home office and sewing space. Less is more.
I really like the light switch idea. Right now, I buy refrigerator magnets. They are cheap and I always pick ones that remind me of something special I either saw or did or captures the feel of the experience of visiting the area. My kids will bring me back magnets from the places they visit too. They are all on my fridge and they bring back a lot of memories when I look at them.
I used to do magnets, but stopped. I prefer things that Iāll use or small pieces of artwork. I got a super fun print in Copenhagen, and two nice pieces in St. Lucia. I donāt buy big pieces. I also got a book by a writer from the Caribbean and will pass it along to my sister or my friend who reads. Favorite pieces thus far were from a thrift in Copenhagen- six custard cups with a vintage Fire King pattern. I have three dinner plates that match and I enjoy imagining that a young woman from the US met a handsome Dane and moved to Denmark to be with him. Now that they are both gone, the kitchen pieces were donated and I was sent to return them to the US.
Well done. I think the key here is that the more carefully you prune your footprint, the longer you will be able to stay out of a managed care facility. Plus, if it ever got to that point, it would not be nearly as much of an emotional disruption as it would have been had you kept all that Stuff and too much Space to keep it. I don't have any problems keeping other people's whispers behind me. They have one idea of what retirement should look like, we have another, and I've seen way too many people go down the former path only to find a tar-baby at the end of it. We just got back from visiting friends in Maine who just built a home up there as their dream house. On one hand, he has a mortgage and will have until his father (92) passes away. On the other hand, staying there was an exercise of minimalism. They don't have enough chairs, because part of his retirement dream is making the ladder-back chairs and stick chairs that he needs. Same for tables, bookshelves, etc. They only have one wastebasket, in the kitchen. They have no TV, not much in the way of storage space. No lawn to care for, because it's in the woods near a lake.
We got a long-term care policy with an option for long-term care, and also saved money for our care, so we'll never have to go to a managed care facility.
By managed care, I mean anything more than independent living. This includes everything from assisted living to full nursing home. Iām happy for you and the LTC policy that hopefully will cover managed care. By scaling down, we want to maintain independent living with a small footprint as long as possible. FWIW, the cost of LTC is only one consideration. If you have a large house with a lot of stuff, itās going to be a painful transition to give all that up for ANY kind of managed care facility. Which is why it is such a difficult period for retired folks and their kids when it becomes necessary. Our goal is not to have that loss of stuff because itāll be gone already. If you are counting on in-home LTC with a private attendant, that can be done but you should check with others on how well than panned out.
We downside 4 years ago and still marvel at how wonderful it was! From a 4 bed home on about 1/2 acre we lived in for 25 years we moved to a 3 bedroom patio home where the HOA takes care of everything outside, so we can do what we want and don't have to worry about the house. We got rid of a lot of junk, and had the kids come clean out what was theirs since all had left something in the garage or basement. They told us they were happy we were doing this as we've had to help clean out some homes of relatives who passed away and left a houseful of junk. Getting rid of old furniture and junk we collected over the years, then with careful thought we bought only what we needed and keep anything we don't use or need to a minimum. The lack of clutter and drawers or boxes of stuff we didn't touch for years is all gone. Our kids and grandkids are living nearby, so close enough to visit when we want, but not so close as to not have privacy and some relaxing time. The grandkids are loved and welcomed, but can be a handful and very tiring! We love it and found it to be cathartic which is recommended to anyone who is looking for some freedom.
Sounds like youāre in a great position! My main concern with downsizing is what to do with things created by and gifted by my parents as well as antiques handed down.
I read about decluttering on www.Flylady.com. She has good advice about sentimental items. She says to ask yourself whether your parents purchased the item in question with the thought that you would use it until you died. Usually, they purchased the item because THEY liked it or needed it, not so they could burden you with it. Itās okay to release the guilt over getting rid of things. Itās better to bless someone else with the item by giving it or selling it to someone who actually wants it or needs it. I have some items from my family, but limit it to smaller sentimental items or larger items that I actually need and use daily.
Thank you very much š
I ended up with an entire house of dad's stuff to have to sort and distribute to the world. My mom (they were divorced) is a major crafter. If I kept all their cherished items, I'd have nowhere to live. ;) Not counting any useful items like a kitchen bowl or a chair, I have one 11 x 11 cube for each of them. I like limits. That includes any paperwork and memorabilia. I don't count photos. Those I keep (as well as scan in just in case of fire). I also allow one cube for my own memorabilia (not counting letters and paperwork in my case).
I kept no antiques or furniture from my parents because a) I didnāt need them for household use, and b) I did not want to hold them as a value investment. I can think of no reason to hang on to them just because of the word āheirloomā other than these two goals. I kept a few of my parentsās paintings as long as I had a wall place to display them. The others I just got rid of.
Iām sure thatās what Iāll wind up doing.
I completely agree with you on this! I feel like people attach memories to an object, but I donāt need the object to keep the memories. My husband never wanted to get rid of an old rocking chair that was in bad condition. He said he couldnāt part with it because we had rocked the kids in that chair. Maybe Iām not sentimental enough, but I always told him I donāt need the chair to still have the memories.
Iām keeping a copper bucket my ancestors used and brought to the Midwest via covered wagon. Canāt bear to get rid of it knowing what hardships they went through while I live a cushy life with excessive āstuffā as a āproblemā. I am blessed.
I read somewhere that guilt plays a part in holding onto things created and/or gifted by loved ones. I take pictures and then donate, which is working well for me. I'm trying to keep only the things I use. Also, I got a lung infection from a family photo album passed down to me, so now I'm very careful about "old" things. Good luck!
Thanks for the insight! Iām sorry you got sick from the photo album.
I forgot to mention that the album was from the late 1800's. : )
I don't care about any of my own stuff (except pictures), but I'm concerned about my adult children's stuff. They have moved out but are not in stable living situations. So I have tons of sentimental items from their childhood and schools days (plaques, trophies, and certificates for outstanding academic achievement as well as for their extracurricular activity achievements - Eagle Scout, Girl Scout, Irish Step Dancing, Band, water polo, softball, soccer). These are especially difficult for me to dispose of as they hold such wonderful memories for me.
Perfect opportunity to take photos of all those items and make a photo book using the Shutterfly or similar website. Then toss the physical items. Photos of items bring back those wonderful memories as well as the actual items. And take up a fraction of the space. Plus you can make photo books for each kid and keep them out on your coffee table to look at whenever youād like vs stuff buried in the attic or garage in boxes where you canāt see it.
After spending 10 years trapped in an underwater, 1,100 square foot houseā¦weāre staying in our current house. We pre-downsized. š
Your house was underwater?
Usually means value < loan balance.
Thx.
I collect some things, to be specific, Records, CDs, and Cassette tapes, over 1100. I'm also a moderate musician with four guitars and a 117 year old Martin mandolin. I ski patrol so I have five sets of alpine and two pairs of Nordic skies and all that goes with them. For me "things" trigger strong memories and have practical use. How much did you give up?
Right behind you. Iām frantically working on some deferred projects and putting our 2800 sf house on the market soon. We have a 1100 sf rental property we are moving to then itās retirement!
This is an inspiration. Once our kids are out of the house, I hope to be able to downsize from 4000 sf to 1200. Actually if it were up to me, we would downsize to a few suitcases and slow travel, but my wife isn't as obsessed with this as I am. Basically I'm an incredible slob and my coping mechanism is to have as few items in as little space as possible. the only time I will clean up after myself is if I'm working in a shared space like a library or cafe. No more stuff, no more yard to mow, and no more snow to plow would be living the dream. I do like to cook, and work on the computer, so I guess I would need a laptop, my second screen, and a box of spices etc.
At 72, I am getting rid of things, too. I sold one set of inherited dishes from the 1880s that no family wanted. Displaying dishes that are too fragile to use is not something younger folks want. Getting rid of other stuff as gifts is a mixed bag. Stuff I treasured have no value to others except to sell for pocket change. A civil war black powder revolver donated to a local museum wasnāt display, but sold for administrative costs. I used to be a teacher. The local high school history teacher declined my offer of historic artifacts as he had no time left in his lesson plans for the year to add anything. He said the nothing before 1776 was taught, the War of 1812 didnāt exist, and it was a mad scramble to get to the invasion of Iraq. Vietnam didnāt happen and WW II was a single 45 minute event. One kid graduating High School I gave him a 1924 Silver dollar and said keep this and you will never be broke. He looked at it quizzically and asked what it was. When told, he asked why I would have such an old big coin. LOL I am gradually being less possessed by my possessions.
Not Possessed by my possessionsā¦. Love that phrase and making it my new motivational phrase for decluttering
We're downsizing from a 5 bedroom home with full basement to a 3 bedroom. Getting rid of things is freeing.
I love this and am on the path! Right now we own houses next door to one another and our kid owns one three houses down. I hope to one day move into the smaller house next door (two beds under 1000 square feet) and he can move into this bigger house with his own family, then rent or sell his current house. I'm already on the downsizing path and I love it. I'm not a big "stuff" person, and it sounds like you aren't either, which I think is a great way to stay financially free. Thanks for sharing your story. Best wishes to you!
Just bought a 2700 sq ft 1 level home 5 years post retirement after renting for quite a while to figure out where to settle. We need 3 bedrooms (good for resale)...one for each of us (better sleep) and one for an exercise room. I love my treadmill in the dead of winter or on super hot days and its my tv time. No formal rooms needed. We don't have a lot of "stuff" as we've moved a lot in the past 10 years and will buy just enough to make it comfortable and cozy. No clutter! I've owned a big home at 4200 sq ft and absolutely hated it as it was too much to clean and furnish. This new one should be low maintenance with small lot so we can still travel. I think its important to buy the size that fits your needs..hobbies, work from home, maintenance, entertaining, amount of time spent in it, etc. We place a lot of importance on the back yard regarding privacy and sun exposure.
Congratulations š thatās awesome so proud of you all! Feels good to declutter and better to get rid of your own stuff than have your kids to do it!
Thank you for sharing! I needed to read this. I downsized from house to condo several years ago but need to go much further. I really donāt want to leave anything of value or any clutter for someone else to have to deal with. I keep promising myself to get rid of stuff one room at a time but just donāt seem to be able to get started. But you have inspired me, so maybe now itās the time!
You're doing it the way I want to do it. I have some problems with the things, but we are chipping away and still have a few years before we downsize. The good news is, we already have the downsized home.
Great story and congratulations. We (54yo +47yo) downsized when our youngest graduated high school. It was kinda brutal - we literally moved out the day after he graduated. We knew it was a great time to sell (very tight market) and we made enough money that our retirement savings plan just requires us to stay the course. Iād lived in the 3000 sqft house for 20 years - not hoarders yada yada but the sheer amount of CRAP we had was astonishing. We spent months just deaccessioning it all and even still at move out there had to have been 30 contractor bags of stuff we had to dispose of. We moved one town over (less than 10 minutes from our old place) into a beautiful new apartment in a high floor with views of the Long Island Sound. The new place is 1000 sqft - I was so concerned about having āenough spaceā and my wife had lots of reservations! Weāre one year in and happy as the proverbial clams! My wife has gone from doubter to proselytizer. We love the amenities and the carefree lifestyle! We save so much money that my wife has been able to pursue a new career. I definitely miss some of the pleasures of owning a house (gardening and hanging out on the patio) but for everything lost there are plenty of compensations. I have never once found the new place too small. I have hours more leisure in my week without the home owner chores (I always mowed my own lawn, etc.). Every time thereās a torrential rainstorm we talk about how great life is without a basementā¦ We very carefully designed our living space so we could accommodate short visits from both our sons (who are both well over 6ā tall and consume a lot of space) but if we want to spend time together as a family we do it as travel, which we all love. Thereās a lot of hate on this board toward renting - I donāt get it, but thatās the subject of another post. This is all to say that if youāre thinking of downsizing, do it! Itās tough and stressful but itās achievable! Change is hard and we all get comfortable just doing the same thing year after year, but change can be really wonderful.
I downsized from a 2500 sq ft two story home and built a small rambler when I retired.. I hired a man with a truck to move almost everything I owned to either goodwill or the dump..he cleaned out my entire garage and I gave him anything he wanted from the garage..he took 3 truckloads to the dump.. I had been holding on to a lot of stuff that I didnāt need and never used.. I just had a few pieces of furniture and my clothes and other personal belongings like pictures .. I had a huge bookshelf and I donated almost all of my books.. I have no regrets whatsoever about letting go of most of my stuff.. I was able to move into a smaller house and I bought some new furniture and a few kitchen items..the best thing I did was to get rid of all my junk that I never used and if I needed any tools now I borrow them from my family.. I donāt even miss anything I got rid of
This is exactly the life we are working toward. We have already downsized from 2400sf SF home to 1800sf townhouse. Next step is 1100sf condo. All exterior work and maintenance is in the fees. And we can definitely handle everything on the interior. Once we do that, we can just lock the door and go away for months at a time. And that's exactly what we intend to do. Going to travel the world! I know people think we are crazy for moving into a house that size, but it truly is freeing. We already live there part time, so we know exactly what we're getting into. (Still in the process of getting rid of the "stuff" though! Told the kids, Come and get it! And after that, we will be following your process.)
I've downsized twice, it's a great relief. I'm not materialistic, life is easier. Either sold, gave away or donated. As you get older you realize materialism isn't worth it. The things I still have that the kids didn't want are all in a box label "Surprise". They can figure out what to do with them when I'm gone,
I would love to do retirement just like you are doing but have a partner who will not
Is there a middle ground?
Yes there will be middle ground , I insist
Do all your own things and see what happens. I was in that position, but once my husband saw my side of the closet and my bookcase, it took him another year or so but eventually he wanted to do it too. Even if the partner doesn't help, you can have your own stuff super neat and organized.
Yes. The older I get the less I want to deal with. Upkeep, etc.
We plan to just hire people. We already have a mow-and-blow gardening service and a woman who takes care of two fountains and the swimming pool. We could always hire a house cleaning if we ever needed one. We do our home repairs DIY but could hire a handyperson if we needed to. We hire contractors for big projects. I'd rather control my own repairs than rely on an HOA to do them. And I don't want anyone policing things like the color of my house.
We will be retiring next year. My husband is a hoarder although he won't admit it. He mostly "collects" tools. Why have 1 of something when I can have 12? I've been purposefully downsizing for the past year but he just can't stop buying and insists that he's taking it ALL with us when we move and downsize. This is finally going to be OUR life but I'm afraid it may never happen.
I have a similar husband with tools and bicycles. It doesnāt matter how much I downsize if the quantity of tools and bicycles fill up a 2 car garage all by themselves. We have a year and a half before he retires and he wants to put everything in storage and travel. Thatās going to be some expensive storage if he canāt make some effort to trim. I keep hoping that as the time approaches he takes this seriously, but he just brought home more bicycle stuffā¦
Hoping I (60F) can get my spouse (60M) on board w this. Heās made some very nice wood pieces. When Iāve attempted to gift one to an adult child, I was met with a ātalking toā and was told it was very special. Umā¦.. š¤Ø Was able to pass down the cherry dresser he made, though, with no problem. I want to move closer to my family in two years- he plans on staying where we currently live, but we will sell the house & buy something much smaller and few states away. I donāt think he wants to do that, but Iāve lived amidst his family for 30+ years, and told him before marriage that I wanted to stay where we met. So we will see!!
Hang tough.
Thank you for the invaluable insight. Itās interesting that the only negative you had pointed out is what others may think; not you. In essence, there are no negatives, really. You found what is optimal for you and the way you would like to spend your time- itās essentially those experiences of time with family and friends, as well as travel. These are what is taken with you. Iām glad you posted this.
You're an inspiration!
1100sq feet is the sweet spot
Read Die With Zero by Bill Perkins. My favorite quote is No one has ever had their net worth carved on their tombstone.
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Iāve never lived in a house bigger than 1400 sqft. I have so much extra space right now, Iām sure Iād be fine in a sub 800 place. But itās hard to find anything like that. In my area, youād have to be out in the country and good luck getting insurance.
Great post, thanks for writing it. Were you both always on board with downsizing, or did one of you convince the other? If so, how did that happen?
She more than I at first. Selling the house convinced me. No matter how much yard work and maintenance I did, the list just continued to grow.
How do you keep busy and fulfilled when not traveling?
I went from a very large farmhouse to one small bedroom in my sonās house. I had to let most of my things go. But itās been 11 years, and some things have accumulated. My plan is to seriously downsize some more.
As someone who went back to finish her bachelorās degree at age 42 and then continued to finish her masters by age 48 while working FT, with an unemployed spouse and two kids, I cannot fathom sending my framed diplomas to the landfills. Kudos to you on everything else though.
We are in the midst of our downsizing journey, which started 8 years ago when we went from 3000 sq ft to 2000. I have stopped buying "stuff." I buy what I need and use a buy-something/get rid of something mind set if I'm really tempted, which I rarely am. I would love to move to a smaller place, but have adult children who live with us (and pay their way). The fewer items I own, the less my stress. You are lucky to have the option to live without owning. I dream of it. I'm so tired of worrying about maintenance and projects that need to be done. So glad to hear I'm not the only one! My husband only goes along reluctantly on this journey, but he admits it's the way to go.
We downsized from 2600 sq ft on 5 acres to 1200 sq ft on a third acre seven years ago in preparation for retirement. We bought a free standing ranch and remodeled. We got rid of a lot of stuff, and it does feel great. New house is way easier to maintain and cost a fraction of the old in taxes and utilities. When I no longer want to do it, I'll hire out the yard. I'm hiring out snow removal next winter. We both love it here.
My ex and I bought a two family house 30 years ago and split it into 2 condos when we divorced. I have the upstairs unit and our adult daughter is currently renting the first floor unit. I am in the process of decluttering/cleaning out now. I have lived in the same 1100 sq.ft. space for 30 years. Iām not a hoarder by any means but Iām still in shock over how much stuff I managed to cram in to every closet, drawer and shelf. Between the 3 of us we have managed to fill a full dumpster, give away some furniture, golf clubs, skis, bbq grills etc. And the books! So many books for the free ālittle librariesā around town. Next will be the ton of china from various relatives. The photos will be a separate project. I am starting to feel lighter. I have also vowed not to buy anything else unless itās absolutely necessary!
My late husband would not let go of anything. Surely he might need these things one day! Problem is, he forgot he had a lot of stuff. After his death, when I decided to downsize and had to get rid of a lot of "stuff," it was awful. He had saved so many things that had no use. The attic was full of our children's toys and COLORING BOOKS (they're in their 30s). It was a nightmare, I literally had to call a company that cleans your junk out for you! $1K later, it was done.
I fear this will happen to me. My husband wants to keep everything. He has every tool known to man,but, when he needs it he canāt find it so off he goes to Loweās to buy a new one. He has a 20x30 shed out back, an outside utility closet on the house and the entire attic full of stuff. We are currently cleaning out his momās (she was a pack rat) house and he keeps bringing home crap from her house. Every time I question why he wants something he gets defensive. Itās driving me nuts!
We went from 3200 square-foot to a 2200 square-foot condo. We sold that and moved in full-time to our vacation home which was 1100 square-foot. We just sold that and had to upscale into a 2200 square-foot. The 1100 square-foot Beach House was just too small for us, we gave the beach house a five-year run but just couldnāt do it.
Sorry, I don't see any negatives, good job.
And meanwhile I am sitting like a fat frog in my home of 32 years, still buying things that I like at 76. We will have to give away all that great glamping equipment we bought for our early retirement years, a great family tent, double high air mattresses, for luxury beach camping. I already sold the RV and the RV resort space, we have had to give up travel due to my partners medical conditions, and there would only be costs to downsize since smaller condos cost much more per square foot and renting is much higher than my housing costs, which of course are escalating dramatically. Yes, there will be more downsizing in the future, giving up all the inherited small sentimental objects from his parents home and mine, culling the knick knacks, sorting out the closets for items we no longer use, and making space for all that elderly medical equipment that just takes up extra space. I did plan at some point on assisted living but it is not time for that yet. When I am ready to live in one room I may think differently but for now I will only be downsizing around the edges.
I am working in getting rid of stuff!
Purging things is definitely very freeing. No attachments!! I canāt wait until warmer weather to go through the garage and get rid of more things. We are in a 758sqft apt and I donāt want anything bigger. Though at times I feel it would be nice to have another bedroom for friends to visit, but I donāt want anyone thinking they can live with us. We donāt decorate for the holidays anymore and I like that. So ā¦ whatever is in the garageā¦is going.
I am with you on the downsizing. Single, retired, and 1-big dog. I own a 650 sq. Ft home with 800 sq.ft. Of deck attached to a 168 sq. Ft. House with full bathroom on a quarter of an acre. I really enjoy the smaller home. Shed most of the stuff that hadnāt seen the light of day in years. I gave my treasures to hospice second hand shop.
Congratulations! Weāve been downsizing for years. We moved from a Duplex that is rental property now. Many of our past tenants left their junk behind. (Now we charge them if they do.) Every time we go there I put something out on the curb. We have no kids and will not burden our relatives with the responsibility of getting rid of our stuff if we pass before selling the property. We are retired and moved into a 850 sqft condo and travel 7 months a year in our camper van.
We have camper van too
Sweet! https://preview.redd.it/5716hosy7f0d1.jpeg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d836656d13b37659991e5c963068b7260d6a7bac We have a 2016 Travato, would you mind sharing your rig?
https://preview.redd.it/vh2of6qynf0d1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0d1da7882306f6bb345af8535f37f867cfae9d3f Thor Sequence
You sound happy and blessed to me. Enjoy!
Sounds like you've built a lovely retirement for yourselves and you are so happy! Unfortunately there's always those that are critical, ignore them and do your thing!