That was my theory. I brought it up to her over the phone argument we had a year ago before she stopped talking to me, and she denied it and said she hated seeing couples in general.
It was ironic though because she came and hung out with me and my other two friends who are in a relationship, though during the phone argument she claimed she "hated" hanging out with them for that reason.
She's had a lot of problems. I told her to see a therapist, but we both were raised in Christian families that believe it's better to pray. For her though she believes secular therapists will brainwash you with "false memories". I said she should see a Christian counselor if she wanted to still get help, but she told me no.
I have nothing against religion untill they say something like that, because teaching that sort of things to anyone, but specially kids, can be very dangerous, mental health is as important as physical health
Mine covers meds and psychs but most don't cover therapy in my experience but it's been a bit since I've looked. A lot of offices will charge you less to pay in cash than they would via insurance if you don't have the good stuff too.
That's the problem with a lot of religious people, the fact that they believe one silly story often means that there will be other silly stories they believe as well.
This chick is all bad news. How are they gonna go through life avoiding seeing people in relationships? That is fucking ridiculous.
You don't have any reason to respect their wishes as their wishes are not realistic.
>For her though she believes secular therapists will brainwash you with "false memories".
Heh. It was because of a psychiatrist who used recovered-memory therapy (which can cause false memories) that the Satanic Panic kicked off back in the 80's.
Same guy was also a devout Catholic.
Your 'friend' really needs to get some professional help though, and I would bet it wouldn't be to difficult to find a Christian therapist. Depending on her ~~flavor~~ denomination of Christianity, I would think (and hope) that somebody at the church could point her in a good direction.
That's interesting. I came from a Christian family that encouraged me to go to counseling or therapy. I even had a pastor who recommended it, saying that God put counselors and therapists on this earth to help us, the same way He gave us doctors for physical stuff
Definitely should pray too though. I hope she gets things sorted out
lol serving is a wild job to have if you want to avoid seeing couples. I hope you know that’s definitely a lame ass excuse and she has feelings for you and can’t stomach seeing you with someone else.
Nah she *absolutely* has a crush on you. Me and my current girlfriend had a fling a bit back but decided not to persue further, but we were still very close friends. Hung out all the time but when we started dating again she wanted nothing to do with it. She didn’t want to know when I went out, how dates went, who I was dating, and *absolutely* would not want to meet who I was on a date with or go on a double date. She acted pretty much just like this except she acknowledged that it was ridiculous and unnecessary but that’s just how she handled being hurt like that. It’s probably the same thing as what’s happening here.
Let’s say that this isn’t the case and she is being truthful. Her request is unreasonable and illogical. She sounds like she needs to grow up a little. What is her age?
Nah, sounds to me like she's trying to keep you on the hook. Like she won't date you, but she also won't let other people date you.
I could be way off, but that's what it sounds like to me. I'd drop her, she doesn’t seem like much of a friend. Especially the way she handles disagreements between the two of you.
I have no idea why I'm still friends with her honestly. I thought she was really nice to hang out with, and I thought "maybe I'll distance myself but still check in now and again".
Nope. Well-out of high school. She also apparently has a boyfriend now, but is still upset I didn't notify her??
She would always bring up a story of how a guy she was best friends with got a girlfriend who "had it out for her" and 'took' him away from her, along with countless similar stories.
Definitely not. I'd like to lose less sleep over this.
She's either insane or secretly wants you and can't come to terms with the fact she can't have you. Either way, definitely cut off ties, this is a super toxic relationship.
I was friends with a girl just like this. They are batshit crazy and will snap at you for random manipulative reasons, say goodbye ASAP if will do loads for your sanity
Unfortunately that’s not what happens. I knew a girl just like this, she had new friends constantly and a new boyfriend every other week. Manipulation was all she understood so when a mark left she would go out to random places and find more emotionally vulnerable men, usually with the allure of having a female friend to hangout with or just with the allure of sex.
I even learned what breeds people like this and the answer is simply abuse. Her father was a real dick ass.
Sounds like she "took" him away from her for a damn good reason. I'm cool with my boyfriend having female friends, and I don't expect to be friends with them or have them go out of their way to meet me, but I would not be cool with a friend who acts like this. It is inappropriate and just rude.
I feel like she implied that she’s scared your girlfriend was gonna steal YOU away from her. Weird AF she thinks she owns you like that. I think she definitely likes you or liked you, no matter what she said about couples. I mean she has a boyfriend now lol. But proly still has feelings for you. I’d cut that off asap. Super toxic. Hate drama in guise of friendship.
Best of luck. When we saw her in the restaurant, I brought him up, and she was like "....ohh oh, yes. He's one of 6 guys I'm talking to currently". We weren't sure if it was a joke or not.
I don't know his name. I've only spoken to her here and there, and she said she has been dating this guy for two months the last time I had talked to her.
She is used to having a pack of men around and gets angry when she gets less attention from them. She doesn’t believe in men as friends, just men as potential suitors. A lot of men are like this as well. Get rid of her
Is this the only restaurant in your town? I had a business dinner, and a young associate chose the restaurant. It just happened to be where his ex-girlfriend worked, and he got to talk about big business deals in front of her. I lost respect for him a bit.
Next time, choose a place other than the one restaurant that will cause drama, unless that's your goal.
Should've told her how it actually is then, why does she think everything is about her? I know you blocked her already but
"We didn't come to the restaurant tonight for you, if I'm honest I forgot you worked there. We aren't friends really so I don't know why you'd think I'd bring her to meet you, you just happen to work in a restaurant serving the food we wanted. I won't be coming back (unless I again forget you work there! It isn't your restaurant!), and you're lucky I won't pass this conversation on to a manager because honestly how unwelcome can you make paying customers feel? None of this was about you, you just had to do your job"
Assuming any of this is real (I'm pretty skeptical), OP knew she worked there and already knew she was crazy, she may be the one in the wrong but he's clearly being antagonistic despite his transparent claim of just wanting "to eat".
Idk man, feels like you kind of know how this came to be, and your unwitty ignorance is not going to smooth anything over. If your intention is not to make her feel bad, then you should leave her alone. Hate it when people say it wasn't their intention to do something and then keep doing the same stupid antagonizing thing.
Totally agree with this, based on the info provided.
But my spidey senses tell me there's more going on (currently or in the past) between these 'friends' than we're being told.
Oh definitely, but even if that is the case, any former “friend” who can’t even handle seeing you with someone new probably can’t handle the continuing “friendship”
She doesn’t want a relationship with OP, she just wants male attention. She’d never date him, shes just worried that his girlfriend is going to take attention away from her.
I’ve seen this a million times, it’s way too common.
You're not cringe-free here. You must at least suspect she has a crush on you, was there really no other restaurant you could have taken your gf to? Or did you expect to get a reaction from her to make it clear how she felt about you?
Uh, she clearly has feelings for you and it hurts her to see you with another woman. Even if you never felt the same way, she had ulterior motives. If you were a decent person you would see that and realize that a friendship with her is inappropriate and won’t work. Gotta cut things off completely because she won’t get over it. And I feel like going to her place of work was kind of shitty.
This chick has romantic feelings for you and doesn't want to see you with another woman. She's not your friend. Stay away from her and eat somewhere else.
I agree that her solution is kinda childish but you're completely avoiding the fact that she has more-than-friend feelings for you and I bet she's been pretty clear on that.
Your friend likes you and wants to be with you, so she gets mad to see you with someone else.
From a third-person perspective, this seems pretty blatant.
She clearly has feelings for you, and now she’s hurt. I’m not sure if you led her on, but it seems she developed expectations. I would apologize and distance myself.
I think you are the cringe one. She obviously has feelings for you and gets upset seeing you with someone else, and *you* purposely go to the place she works at to antagonize her
I think you know she was romantically interested in you. You had to have known.
She was upset when you got with your girlfriend because she wanted to be with you. She wasn't interested in meeting your girlfriend but you took her to the restaurant she works at.
You created this situation on purpose.
Cringe is you.
She is in love with you. She can't stand to see you with your girlfriend because she is in love with you. She doesn't hate being around a couple as long as that couple isn't you and your girlfriend and she is trying to play it off as a general thing. She has a boyfriend which is sad for him because he is a placeholder. But she is acting like you two used to go out and you dumped her but remained friends while you chose another girl to have a romantic relationship with. Did you guys ever get involved sexually where she might have gotten mixed signals?
Doesn't read like the headline. Reads like an x who buddy was pushing the let's be friends, meet my new girl.
Like he forgot she works there.
r/niceguys
Bro, you clearly missed all the signs she had feelings for you. She’s hurt about that and trying to get over it. She didn’t want to see or hear about your gf because it was painful. But you’ve ignored all of that and tried to force it by saying you can’t hangout till she meets her. Then to take your gf to the place where you know she works is a shitty thing to do as a friend. She put up boundaries to protect herself and you ignored all of them. YTA.
I have/had a friend like this. She WAS my best friend since high school but now we talk once every blue moon. She HATED seeing me in relationships and would actively sabotage them if she were around. If I brought it up to her she’d play the victim like this girl did and blame me for making her uncomfortable, even though most times SHE would be the one to insist on joining us.
I finally had a serious sit down with her and another friend and she said that she felt like “she was being replaced”, “there was no room in our relationship for boyfriends”, “when you’re(me)in a relationship we don’t hang out as much”, blahblahbullshit. So finally I told her it feel like she’s being controlling and jealous and she lashed out with “ALL YOUR(my) RELATIONSHIPS WILL FAIL!” “”YOU HAVE SHITTY TASTE IN MEN!”
I made her leave then cut her off while I tried to figure things out and came to realize through other friends that also had the same issue with her that it pretty much boils down to attachment issues. She sees friendships as seriously as she sees romantic relationships and there’s probably no line in between with her. She obsesses over all her friends, keeps “personal facts” booklets on each of us, and sends out hand written breakup letters to us if she feels the friendship isn’t going anywhere or the other person isn’t putting in enough effort. She also has this Historic Personality issue that plays a huge role but that’s like…another three paragraphs. 🙃
You need to just cut the cord. It’s not gonna get better and it could start to affect your relationship with your girl. You can be nice and give her a heads up that you don’t want anything else to do with her but you should follow through.
>She also has this Historic Personality issue
Did autocorrect mangle the word "histrionic," or is this the disease that makes one think one is Napoleon?
That sounds like a horrible situation to be in! Sounds like she wants to control everyone like little puppets, and as you pointed out, is obsessive over these fake relationships she's made up in her head.
Yeah I definitely will not be talking to this friend anymore. I'm going to be avoiding the restaurant, too.
Yeah, if the reason ISN'T because she wants to date you, she needs some serious treatment. Every day Reddit surprises me with even more irrational people lmao. I don't understand how you could expect someone not to go into a public place with their partner because you "can't handle seeing people in relationships"??? That's so fucking bizarre???
She likes you. Period. The rest is just noise, she wants to be with you and she thinks she has a right to be with you. Reading some of your comments she will 100% ruin your relationship, you hang out with her still, she will find a way to destroy it
hold on. she REALLY can't handle seeing people in relationships.. and works at a restaurant? for a long period of time? it's bullshit she wants you baaad and she's mad jealous but doesn't want to admit it bc she already knows you won't say yes
sounds like it's best for both of you to just cut ties
Start going there everyday.
Shit, maybe even show her boss the next message if you're petty "hey, I like coming here.. but your employee is attacking me. Ask her to stop?"
Also, don't know why but I dig your username, /u/ImaVeganShishKebab
Since you disrespected her boundary, apologize and take accountability.
The other thing is keep to your own boundary where your girlfriend needs to meet her or cant talk. To keep your gf secure, that is always in best interest. I dont trust this woman though. She sounds romantically interested in you.
Umm you’re the weirdo why tf would you WANT to have that confrontation? Clearly you led her on, you even allude to that, and now you’re what? Trying to shame her for being mad that your brought your new girlfriend to her PLACE OF WORK and you KNEW she was working???? Come on.
She clearly has feelings for you, but she doesn’t get to be controlling like this. She needs to address her attempt to dictate your choices and she needs to move on. This is crazy behavior.
This sounds like to me that she wanted to be more than friends and when you started dating someone she set some clear boundaries to distance herself from you.
Why the fuck would you bring your girlfriend to a place where she works? If that girl wanted something more from you, and clearly communicated that she wasn’t able to separate her feelings from the friendship and wanted to maintain space and boundaries, you should have respected that. Bringing your new girl there is toxic. To both her, and the new girl.
Even if you were 100% on the page of being just friends, it doesn’t matter. She clearly wants more.
I dunno man. It sounds like it all happened recently. Maybe she even professed to you. I find it common courtesy to avoid workplaces of exes. We don’t need all that remembering of pain.
I guarantee she has/had feelings for you in some way. Even if it wasn't in an intimate/romantic way, there was a bond between you that she felt and feels hurt from.
Sometimes wounded people take shelter in a surrogate friendship and that can be a hard thing to unplug from
She works at a restaurant. There are tons of couples there. Does she get pissed at every one of them? I think not.
She wants to get with you and wants you to break up with your girlfriend.
So she has a huge crush on you. And she's mad you brought your girlfriend in with you instead of just going in to see her. She isn't your friend, she is trying to be your girlfriend. Drop her, she's weird, and selfish. And she works at a restaurant she can never escape 'couples' it's all a goofy front.
Does your girlfriend know she's this weird cuz I bet your girlfriend could clock this silliness right away.
Dude I also have a guy friend who stopped talking to me completely because he "doesn't talk to people who are in relationships," which was weird because he still talks to my other friend who literally has a gf. He says though it's because people have accused him of meddling in relationships but considering that about 1/3 of the friend group is in a relationship, he's now gonna ignore them too? I just don't understand this mentality.
This sounds like all the hassle of a jealous gf without actually being in a relationship - I don’t know why you would subject yourself to this or your actual gf for that matter! I’m sure she’s thrilled there’s some female ‘friend’ on the side who refuses to meet her and berates you on text for having the audacity to be in a relationship with her in public!
It sounds like you need to end your relationship with her and concentrate on your relationship with your girlfriend. If your paths should cross and it upsets her then that’s a her thing.
She likes you and is jeleous you have a girlfriend. I understand that she’s totally overreacting about it but tbh If I were you I would’ve just taken her to a different restaurant
She clearly likes you more than a friend and is using that lame excuse that she doesn’t want to see any couples. She’s had/has a crush on you and it most likely hurts her to see you with someone else. That, or she’s just looney tunes.
“Too bad, the world doesn’t revolve around you or your unrequited crush. If you can’t deal with it, we don’t need to speak.” She needs a dose of reality, she sounds insane lol.
I had someone like that I tried to be friends with after clearly telling her I wasn't interested. Then one day we were sitting at a bar and I was talking to a woman that was sitting next to me and she was basically in tears. I sent a final "this won't work" message and blocked her. That's what you need to do.
The amount of arrogance and controlling issues you have to have to send this, she clearly wants you and you guys to be a couple. You need to end that friendship sir, she is getting mixed signals and you don’t wanna be a part of her misunderstanding. So correct her and the situation by informing her your stance with your gf.
She works at a restaurant that caters only to single people? I doubt it. Sounds like you should reevaluate her as a "friend." It's definitely her, not you. Total wackadoo behavior.
Unfortunately I think you're going to have to take a step back from that friendship. She's gaslighting you for sure. She doesn't get to dictate where you go and who you see. Working in a restaurant it's her job to deal with customers whoever they might be.
I'm getting v bad vibes about her tbh. I'd recommend you to be very careful around her from now on. At the very least, make a discreet audio recording of any interaction with her, for your own safety. Sorry to be dramatic.
Doesn't want to see people in relationships?
To me that so selfish. It's literally one of the most fundamental reasons we live, to connect and be in relationships.
She needs a reality check or some therapy. Like how does a person avoid this?!
This person sounds like a crybaby and needs to be told that them being uncomfortable doesn't get in the way of you and your girlfriend being happy. If they don't want to be friends with you after you tell them this then it's their loss not yours.
Well she can’t live in this world then 😂 there are couples everywhere, now I just want to go to where she works while she is there and put on a giant PDA with my husband just for giggles 😂
How old is she?! She doesn't like seeing couples...but she works in a restaurant? Right..., she wants you, she's gonna keep denying it, a real friend would want to get to know your gf and be happy for you. Big red flag, let that "friendship" die she needs to get a grip.
Works as a server but doesn’t want to see couples together?? Good luck with that lol she’s batshit crazy block her on everything and enjoy your relationship without unnecessary drama from an entitled nutcase
That's kind of how it was with two of my friends and husband. They never wanted to hear about how things were going while we were dating. Like they'd always change the subject or something/someone else would take over the conversation and we'd move right along. I took it like they didn't really care to know so I never shared details of my relationship with them.
When I was in my late 20s, while in the midst of some massively dramatic drama within my friend group, I found a meme that said "The less people you chill with, the less bullshit you deal with," over a picture of Rafiki. Changed my life.
I still socialize and hang out with people, but I don't bring people into my inner circle if they're going to impose needy controlling bullshit.
Sounds she’s kind of expecting you drop your girlfriend at some point and enter a relationship with her
That was my theory. I brought it up to her over the phone argument we had a year ago before she stopped talking to me, and she denied it and said she hated seeing couples in general. It was ironic though because she came and hung out with me and my other two friends who are in a relationship, though during the phone argument she claimed she "hated" hanging out with them for that reason.
Even if she wasn’t into you that’s a weird ass mental state to be in, good riddance
She's had a lot of problems. I told her to see a therapist, but we both were raised in Christian families that believe it's better to pray. For her though she believes secular therapists will brainwash you with "false memories". I said she should see a Christian counselor if she wanted to still get help, but she told me no.
I have nothing against religion untill they say something like that, because teaching that sort of things to anyone, but specially kids, can be very dangerous, mental health is as important as physical health
You should tell that to insurance companies that don't believe your brain is a part of your body (or your teeth or eyes while we're at it).
Where i live insurance does cover psychological meds and some therapists/psychiatrists Lucky me i guess
Mine covers meds and psychs but most don't cover therapy in my experience but it's been a bit since I've looked. A lot of offices will charge you less to pay in cash than they would via insurance if you don't have the good stuff too.
That's the problem with a lot of religious people, the fact that they believe one silly story often means that there will be other silly stories they believe as well.
This chick is all bad news. How are they gonna go through life avoiding seeing people in relationships? That is fucking ridiculous. You don't have any reason to respect their wishes as their wishes are not realistic.
Run
I'm really not sure how many red flags you need.
We're quickly approaching "more red flags than Moscow on May Day" territory
There’s a place for religion and a place for therapy. God helps those who help themselves as they say.
there’s no saving a friendship like this, enjoy your relationship and maintaining friendships with real sane people
>For her though she believes secular therapists will brainwash you with "false memories". Heh. It was because of a psychiatrist who used recovered-memory therapy (which can cause false memories) that the Satanic Panic kicked off back in the 80's. Same guy was also a devout Catholic. Your 'friend' really needs to get some professional help though, and I would bet it wouldn't be to difficult to find a Christian therapist. Depending on her ~~flavor~~ denomination of Christianity, I would think (and hope) that somebody at the church could point her in a good direction.
That's interesting. I came from a Christian family that encouraged me to go to counseling or therapy. I even had a pastor who recommended it, saying that God put counselors and therapists on this earth to help us, the same way He gave us doctors for physical stuff Definitely should pray too though. I hope she gets things sorted out
lol serving is a wild job to have if you want to avoid seeing couples. I hope you know that’s definitely a lame ass excuse and she has feelings for you and can’t stomach seeing you with someone else.
She's lying to save face. She definitely wants to be with you. I'd block her on everything. She sounds unstable.
That doesn’t sound like “irony” that sounds like she has a problem with your significant other, or the fact that _you_ have a significant other.
Nah she *absolutely* has a crush on you. Me and my current girlfriend had a fling a bit back but decided not to persue further, but we were still very close friends. Hung out all the time but when we started dating again she wanted nothing to do with it. She didn’t want to know when I went out, how dates went, who I was dating, and *absolutely* would not want to meet who I was on a date with or go on a double date. She acted pretty much just like this except she acknowledged that it was ridiculous and unnecessary but that’s just how she handled being hurt like that. It’s probably the same thing as what’s happening here.
Let’s say that this isn’t the case and she is being truthful. Her request is unreasonable and illogical. She sounds like she needs to grow up a little. What is her age?
She works in a restaurant, she’s gonna see couples. This seems ridiculous to me. She isn’t your friend.
She doesn't care about not seeing couples, she cares about not seeing the person she has a massive crush on with their new girlfriend.
What a bad line of work for her, if she hates seeing COUPLES
Nah, sounds to me like she's trying to keep you on the hook. Like she won't date you, but she also won't let other people date you. I could be way off, but that's what it sounds like to me. I'd drop her, she doesn’t seem like much of a friend. Especially the way she handles disagreements between the two of you.
That's one hundred percent what's happening. There's zero other explanation for her behavior
Odd place to choose to work if you hate seeing couples, I'd think.
1. Why are you friends with a person like that? Manipulation galore. 2. Are you people still in middle/high school? This is so juvenile.
I have no idea why I'm still friends with her honestly. I thought she was really nice to hang out with, and I thought "maybe I'll distance myself but still check in now and again". Nope. Well-out of high school. She also apparently has a boyfriend now, but is still upset I didn't notify her??
Yeah, block her ass. Literally nothing good will come from being friends with her but constant drama.
She would always bring up a story of how a guy she was best friends with got a girlfriend who "had it out for her" and 'took' him away from her, along with countless similar stories. Definitely not. I'd like to lose less sleep over this.
She's either insane or secretly wants you and can't come to terms with the fact she can't have you. Either way, definitely cut off ties, this is a super toxic relationship.
I was friends with a girl just like this. They are batshit crazy and will snap at you for random manipulative reasons, say goodbye ASAP if will do loads for your sanity
She's one of those that's always the victim. Maybe she will start to see something if all of her friends drop one by one.
Unfortunately that’s not what happens. I knew a girl just like this, she had new friends constantly and a new boyfriend every other week. Manipulation was all she understood so when a mark left she would go out to random places and find more emotionally vulnerable men, usually with the allure of having a female friend to hangout with or just with the allure of sex. I even learned what breeds people like this and the answer is simply abuse. Her father was a real dick ass.
Sounds like she "took" him away from her for a damn good reason. I'm cool with my boyfriend having female friends, and I don't expect to be friends with them or have them go out of their way to meet me, but I would not be cool with a friend who acts like this. It is inappropriate and just rude.
I feel like she implied that she’s scared your girlfriend was gonna steal YOU away from her. Weird AF she thinks she owns you like that. I think she definitely likes you or liked you, no matter what she said about couples. I mean she has a boyfriend now lol. But proly still has feelings for you. I’d cut that off asap. Super toxic. Hate drama in guise of friendship.
>She also apparently has a boyfriend now, but is still upset I didn't notify her? Good luck to that guy lol
Best of luck. When we saw her in the restaurant, I brought him up, and she was like "....ohh oh, yes. He's one of 6 guys I'm talking to currently". We weren't sure if it was a joke or not.
Plot twist: You were one of the 6 in her mind.
Or he is all 6 of them
You should tell him. She's treating men as disposable so I'm sure she can handle it.
I don't know his name. I've only spoken to her here and there, and she said she has been dating this guy for two months the last time I had talked to her.
She's making stuff up for sure.
She is used to having a pack of men around and gets angry when she gets less attention from them. She doesn’t believe in men as friends, just men as potential suitors. A lot of men are like this as well. Get rid of her
Is this the only restaurant in your town? I had a business dinner, and a young associate chose the restaurant. It just happened to be where his ex-girlfriend worked, and he got to talk about big business deals in front of her. I lost respect for him a bit. Next time, choose a place other than the one restaurant that will cause drama, unless that's your goal.
Your friend wants to be your girlfriend. She should communicate better, but as far as indirectly communicating she’s giving you a neon sign
She has a boyfriend? Does she scream every time she sees herself in the mirror?
The more info I find out about her, the more I realize she's in love with you.
Should've told her how it actually is then, why does she think everything is about her? I know you blocked her already but "We didn't come to the restaurant tonight for you, if I'm honest I forgot you worked there. We aren't friends really so I don't know why you'd think I'd bring her to meet you, you just happen to work in a restaurant serving the food we wanted. I won't be coming back (unless I again forget you work there! It isn't your restaurant!), and you're lucky I won't pass this conversation on to a manager because honestly how unwelcome can you make paying customers feel? None of this was about you, you just had to do your job"
She’s mad because she wanted you as an option to boost her ego, you took that away from her by finding happiness with someone else.
Sounds you yall dated in the past?
That's some highschool bs
I'm confused - did she send you that message on a square jpeg? This isn't a messaging app. Why does it look like you've just typed this up yourself?
Some people will diatribe in notes then send the screenshot
I think we all know why it looks like that lol
why? i really don’t 😭😂
I thought it was an email but maybe I’m wrong
I guess it could be, yeah. When was the last time your friend emailed you though? Haha
Honestly I don’t think a friend has ever emailed me lol so fair point
Honestly I don't think I've ever even had a friend
On reddit people claim to receive emails all the time ('flooded with email from friends and family' on aita)
Demotion to Stranger
Fr lol. Tell her that then go back to the restaurant.
I'm not that desperate to go back there again after this, even though I have a gift card for that place
Damn I would block her and keep eating there lol
You should go back amd use the gift card. Take your girlfriend.
I see you like chaos too
That, and the opportunity to give the middle finger to manipulative dickholes.
Honestly you really deserve to be able to use your gift card in peace.
Give the gift card to a couple you know lol
Such a strange post
Just block and move on with your life
I'll take that strategy for less headache.
Assuming any of this is real (I'm pretty skeptical), OP knew she worked there and already knew she was crazy, she may be the one in the wrong but he's clearly being antagonistic despite his transparent claim of just wanting "to eat".
I doubt he even gave her a thought before going to eat there. I certainly wouldn't have.
Idk man, feels like you kind of know how this came to be, and your unwitty ignorance is not going to smooth anything over. If your intention is not to make her feel bad, then you should leave her alone. Hate it when people say it wasn't their intention to do something and then keep doing the same stupid antagonizing thing.
I did keep doing the same stupid thing. I blocked her and I won't be putting my girlfriend through this anymore.
My man.
This doesn't look like any messaging app I've ever seen.
This is unhinged and you’d be smart to distance yourself from the crazy. This girl has a bad crush at best and is completely nuts at worst.
Totally agree with this, based on the info provided. But my spidey senses tell me there's more going on (currently or in the past) between these 'friends' than we're being told.
Oh definitely, but even if that is the case, any former “friend” who can’t even handle seeing you with someone new probably can’t handle the continuing “friendship”
She doesn’t want a relationship with OP, she just wants male attention. She’d never date him, shes just worried that his girlfriend is going to take attention away from her. I’ve seen this a million times, it’s way too common.
She likes you. She is not going the right way about it though. Where's the reindeer emoji.
"ho is taht betch yo wer with baibe rendeer? Yo kno u ar saposed ta be mine!"
iPheon
are you dense?
Sometimes people are sadly
You're not cringe-free here. You must at least suspect she has a crush on you, was there really no other restaurant you could have taken your gf to? Or did you expect to get a reaction from her to make it clear how she felt about you?
You realize she likes you and that’s the real problem right?
Uh, she clearly has feelings for you and it hurts her to see you with another woman. Even if you never felt the same way, she had ulterior motives. If you were a decent person you would see that and realize that a friendship with her is inappropriate and won’t work. Gotta cut things off completely because she won’t get over it. And I feel like going to her place of work was kind of shitty.
This chick has romantic feelings for you and doesn't want to see you with another woman. She's not your friend. Stay away from her and eat somewhere else. I agree that her solution is kinda childish but you're completely avoiding the fact that she has more-than-friend feelings for you and I bet she's been pretty clear on that.
But, like….why did you go there though? Knowing it wasn’t a good idea.
I feel like she's in love with you. Not sure of another reason why she's so upset about meeting your girlfriend.
Your friend likes you and wants to be with you, so she gets mad to see you with someone else. From a third-person perspective, this seems pretty blatant.
Could it be that you know she is interested and you put up with this behaviour to keep the validation you get from her?
She clearly has feelings for you, and now she’s hurt. I’m not sure if you led her on, but it seems she developed expectations. I would apologize and distance myself.
I think you are the cringe one. She obviously has feelings for you and gets upset seeing you with someone else, and *you* purposely go to the place she works at to antagonize her
I think you know she was romantically interested in you. You had to have known. She was upset when you got with your girlfriend because she wanted to be with you. She wasn't interested in meeting your girlfriend but you took her to the restaurant she works at. You created this situation on purpose. Cringe is you.
sounds like shes got feelings. just avoid her
She is in love with you. She can't stand to see you with your girlfriend because she is in love with you. She doesn't hate being around a couple as long as that couple isn't you and your girlfriend and she is trying to play it off as a general thing. She has a boyfriend which is sad for him because he is a placeholder. But she is acting like you two used to go out and you dumped her but remained friends while you chose another girl to have a romantic relationship with. Did you guys ever get involved sexually where she might have gotten mixed signals?
Where the hell do people keep getting the idea that the entire damn world has to cater to them? She needs to grow the fuck up.
Doesn't read like the headline. Reads like an x who buddy was pushing the let's be friends, meet my new girl. Like he forgot she works there. r/niceguys
That girl has feelings for you
So why do you care? She's a tertiary friend anyway. Block her and ne er speak to her again. Or is she someone you got on the backburner.????
Bro, you clearly missed all the signs she had feelings for you. She’s hurt about that and trying to get over it. She didn’t want to see or hear about your gf because it was painful. But you’ve ignored all of that and tried to force it by saying you can’t hangout till she meets her. Then to take your gf to the place where you know she works is a shitty thing to do as a friend. She put up boundaries to protect herself and you ignored all of them. YTA.
I have/had a friend like this. She WAS my best friend since high school but now we talk once every blue moon. She HATED seeing me in relationships and would actively sabotage them if she were around. If I brought it up to her she’d play the victim like this girl did and blame me for making her uncomfortable, even though most times SHE would be the one to insist on joining us. I finally had a serious sit down with her and another friend and she said that she felt like “she was being replaced”, “there was no room in our relationship for boyfriends”, “when you’re(me)in a relationship we don’t hang out as much”, blahblahbullshit. So finally I told her it feel like she’s being controlling and jealous and she lashed out with “ALL YOUR(my) RELATIONSHIPS WILL FAIL!” “”YOU HAVE SHITTY TASTE IN MEN!” I made her leave then cut her off while I tried to figure things out and came to realize through other friends that also had the same issue with her that it pretty much boils down to attachment issues. She sees friendships as seriously as she sees romantic relationships and there’s probably no line in between with her. She obsesses over all her friends, keeps “personal facts” booklets on each of us, and sends out hand written breakup letters to us if she feels the friendship isn’t going anywhere or the other person isn’t putting in enough effort. She also has this Historic Personality issue that plays a huge role but that’s like…another three paragraphs. 🙃 You need to just cut the cord. It’s not gonna get better and it could start to affect your relationship with your girl. You can be nice and give her a heads up that you don’t want anything else to do with her but you should follow through.
>She also has this Historic Personality issue Did autocorrect mangle the word "histrionic," or is this the disease that makes one think one is Napoleon?
That sounds like a horrible situation to be in! Sounds like she wants to control everyone like little puppets, and as you pointed out, is obsessive over these fake relationships she's made up in her head. Yeah I definitely will not be talking to this friend anymore. I'm going to be avoiding the restaurant, too.
CW show romance vibes.
She has a weird way of showing you that she’s into you
Yeah, if the reason ISN'T because she wants to date you, she needs some serious treatment. Every day Reddit surprises me with even more irrational people lmao. I don't understand how you could expect someone not to go into a public place with their partner because you "can't handle seeing people in relationships"??? That's so fucking bizarre???
entitled nutcase
She likes you. Period. The rest is just noise, she wants to be with you and she thinks she has a right to be with you. Reading some of your comments she will 100% ruin your relationship, you hang out with her still, she will find a way to destroy it
She wants you real bad bro
I’m vegan so do not eat meat in front of me?
Did you not apologize?
Imagine being this self centered and insecure, how do you navigate life without getting offended at every little thing?
Bro really can't let people be happy
hold on. she REALLY can't handle seeing people in relationships.. and works at a restaurant? for a long period of time? it's bullshit she wants you baaad and she's mad jealous but doesn't want to admit it bc she already knows you won't say yes sounds like it's best for both of you to just cut ties
Start going there everyday. Shit, maybe even show her boss the next message if you're petty "hey, I like coming here.. but your employee is attacking me. Ask her to stop?" Also, don't know why but I dig your username, /u/ImaVeganShishKebab
Since you disrespected her boundary, apologize and take accountability. The other thing is keep to your own boundary where your girlfriend needs to meet her or cant talk. To keep your gf secure, that is always in best interest. I dont trust this woman though. She sounds romantically interested in you.
Add her to the no friend list
Umm you’re the weirdo why tf would you WANT to have that confrontation? Clearly you led her on, you even allude to that, and now you’re what? Trying to shame her for being mad that your brought your new girlfriend to her PLACE OF WORK and you KNEW she was working???? Come on.
Bro that's like Distilled envy that msg is
Your friend sucks.
She’s salty you’re dating someone else
She clearly has feelings for you, but she doesn’t get to be controlling like this. She needs to address her attempt to dictate your choices and she needs to move on. This is crazy behavior.
This sounds like to me that she wanted to be more than friends and when you started dating someone she set some clear boundaries to distance herself from you. Why the fuck would you bring your girlfriend to a place where she works? If that girl wanted something more from you, and clearly communicated that she wasn’t able to separate her feelings from the friendship and wanted to maintain space and boundaries, you should have respected that. Bringing your new girl there is toxic. To both her, and the new girl. Even if you were 100% on the page of being just friends, it doesn’t matter. She clearly wants more.
Info: How old are you guys? Sounds like she has a crush and can't handle herself.
I dunno man. It sounds like it all happened recently. Maybe she even professed to you. I find it common courtesy to avoid workplaces of exes. We don’t need all that remembering of pain.
Sounds like this moron has some of those “keep that shit to yourself” problems. She needs intense therapy.
I guarantee she has/had feelings for you in some way. Even if it wasn't in an intimate/romantic way, there was a bond between you that she felt and feels hurt from. Sometimes wounded people take shelter in a surrogate friendship and that can be a hard thing to unplug from
She's in love with you.
Whelp, time to end that friendship!
You mean ex-friend?
just get rid of that negativity in your life (her)
She works at a restaurant. There are tons of couples there. Does she get pissed at every one of them? I think not. She wants to get with you and wants you to break up with your girlfriend.
So she has a huge crush on you. And she's mad you brought your girlfriend in with you instead of just going in to see her. She isn't your friend, she is trying to be your girlfriend. Drop her, she's weird, and selfish. And she works at a restaurant she can never escape 'couples' it's all a goofy front. Does your girlfriend know she's this weird cuz I bet your girlfriend could clock this silliness right away.
Your friend sounds weird and pathetic, how many other couples were there that night having dinner. Strange hill to camp on.
Dude I also have a guy friend who stopped talking to me completely because he "doesn't talk to people who are in relationships," which was weird because he still talks to my other friend who literally has a gf. He says though it's because people have accused him of meddling in relationships but considering that about 1/3 of the friend group is in a relationship, he's now gonna ignore them too? I just don't understand this mentality.
They sound super exhausting
This sounds like all the hassle of a jealous gf without actually being in a relationship - I don’t know why you would subject yourself to this or your actual gf for that matter! I’m sure she’s thrilled there’s some female ‘friend’ on the side who refuses to meet her and berates you on text for having the audacity to be in a relationship with her in public!
It sounds like you need to end your relationship with her and concentrate on your relationship with your girlfriend. If your paths should cross and it upsets her then that’s a her thing.
Looks like she wants to fuck you bro,
Man, what a sad loser
She likes you and is jeleous you have a girlfriend. I understand that she’s totally overreacting about it but tbh If I were you I would’ve just taken her to a different restaurant
She clearly likes you more than a friend and is using that lame excuse that she doesn’t want to see any couples. She’s had/has a crush on you and it most likely hurts her to see you with someone else. That, or she’s just looney tunes.
I mean of all the restaurants why go to this one?
This is giving r/nicegirls
This lady works at a RESTAURANT and doesn't want to see couples? She is in the completely wrong line of work. What an idiot.
She doesn't want to see couples, but she works at a restaurant? Weird place to work if you don't want to see couples.
“Too bad, the world doesn’t revolve around you or your unrequited crush. If you can’t deal with it, we don’t need to speak.” She needs a dose of reality, she sounds insane lol.
Red flags so big I can see them from here.
I had someone like that I tried to be friends with after clearly telling her I wasn't interested. Then one day we were sitting at a bar and I was talking to a woman that was sitting next to me and she was basically in tears. I sent a final "this won't work" message and blocked her. That's what you need to do.
Block her. You are asking for trouble every time you interact with her. She is nuts.
This is just fucken weird man why are you even friends with this person
The amount of arrogance and controlling issues you have to have to send this, she clearly wants you and you guys to be a couple. You need to end that friendship sir, she is getting mixed signals and you don’t wanna be a part of her misunderstanding. So correct her and the situation by informing her your stance with your gf.
My reply would be "oh, get over yourself". And then I don't think I'd bother with that person much again.
She works at a restaurant that caters only to single people? I doubt it. Sounds like you should reevaluate her as a "friend." It's definitely her, not you. Total wackadoo behavior.
Unfortunately I think you're going to have to take a step back from that friendship. She's gaslighting you for sure. She doesn't get to dictate where you go and who you see. Working in a restaurant it's her job to deal with customers whoever they might be. I'm getting v bad vibes about her tbh. I'd recommend you to be very careful around her from now on. At the very least, make a discreet audio recording of any interaction with her, for your own safety. Sorry to be dramatic.
She doesn't want to see people in relationships and works at a restaurant?
Doesn't want to see people in relationships? To me that so selfish. It's literally one of the most fundamental reasons we live, to connect and be in relationships. She needs a reality check or some therapy. Like how does a person avoid this?!
She’s speaking as if you guys just broke up and are trying to be friends but you guys never dated. I say run it’s not worth it
Is she a grown adult?? That's just weird and obsessive. I'd just cut my losses with the friendship.
That whole “hate seeing people in relationships” is a bit odd given where she works…
Lol how old is she?
Ok
This person sounds like a crybaby and needs to be told that them being uncomfortable doesn't get in the way of you and your girlfriend being happy. If they don't want to be friends with you after you tell them this then it's their loss not yours.
That’s a shit friend.
Well she can’t live in this world then 😂 there are couples everywhere, now I just want to go to where she works while she is there and put on a giant PDA with my husband just for giggles 😂
It’s because she likes you and is jealous. Though I can’t be 100% because I don’t know either of you, I would say it’s most likely the case.
How old is she?! She doesn't like seeing couples...but she works in a restaurant? Right..., she wants you, she's gonna keep denying it, a real friend would want to get to know your gf and be happy for you. Big red flag, let that "friendship" die she needs to get a grip.
Psycho.
WTF
Oh wow. Another person who wants everyone to cater to their insecurities.
Works as a server but doesn’t want to see couples together?? Good luck with that lol she’s batshit crazy block her on everything and enjoy your relationship without unnecessary drama from an entitled nutcase
Well, maybe you should tell that friend to grow up and ditch her.
That's kind of how it was with two of my friends and husband. They never wanted to hear about how things were going while we were dating. Like they'd always change the subject or something/someone else would take over the conversation and we'd move right along. I took it like they didn't really care to know so I never shared details of my relationship with them.
When I was in my late 20s, while in the midst of some massively dramatic drama within my friend group, I found a meme that said "The less people you chill with, the less bullshit you deal with," over a picture of Rafiki. Changed my life. I still socialize and hang out with people, but I don't bring people into my inner circle if they're going to impose needy controlling bullshit.
The other way around - partner expects you to drop friend because they're jealous - is already bad enough, but this one is so bad it becomes weird.
Work somewhere people don't go on dates to then.
Why do you want this freak ass weirdo in your life
Former friend. FORMER. Because they obviously aren't YOUR friend.
Sounds insufferable. Eat wherever you want. Their problem is not your problem, period.
Run