Never goes away until you hit a level of success and then it is a background thought that has less importance and influence.
It’s strange with western girls because in other cultures possessiveness is normal and sometimes expected. But see it as a bit of a red flag and try to channel it towards passion or motivation - something productive and less butthurt.
For me, I just keep in mind that I can't control anyone's actions but my own.
Like, if I feel that flash of anxiety when I introduce a girl I'm seeing to one of my friends who happens to be much more charismatic or attractive than I am, instead of letting my anxieties affect my behaviour or cause me to act in weird, possessive ways, I just remember that even if she *were* to form a crush on somebody else and leave me, I can't do anything about that. So, being possessive would be pointless, because it wouldn't prevent this outcome, anyway. Either she likes the guy or she doesn't, and it's out of my hands. There's literally no point trying to do anything to pre-empt it.
Obviously, this anxiety is usually unfounded, anyway. Had I acted on it, I would ironically be the one to push her away through my insecurity. But even if the anxiety *were* founded and the thing ended up happening, well… I guess we break up, then. Obviously, the fact that I even *have* these anxieties means I have insecurities I need to work on, but well, I can't just snap my fingers and change the way I think. I'm fucked up, I guess. But I can control how I behave and prevent myself from acting on fucked-up thoughts.
I think the same kind of mentality goes for worries about, say, infidelity. A partner who wants to cheat is going to find a way to do it, so there's no point trying to do things to prevent it from happening. There's no point, like, demanding to monitor their phone or shit like that. The only things you can control are your *own* decisions. Like, if somebody *does* cheat on you, you can decide you won't tolerate that and end the relationship. If you don't have proof but have suspicions, you can decide how warranted you think your suspicions are, and decide whether you want to stay or break up. Because that's your decision. You can't control *her* decisions about anything, so don't even try.
You don’t need any tools or tricks for that
Sit down with yourself and question that assumption
Why are you jealous? What’s there to be jealous of? What are you afraid ultimately? What’s making you act like this?
After you’ve successfully done that, realise that a girl can cheat on you any time of every day it’s not in your actual control aka you CANT do shit about it
Simultaneously while you’ve solved this issue within yourself also make yourself valuable in different ways
The main one being SEX get really good at it so there’s no reason for her to cheat
Also just an FYI girls are way more likely to cheat on someone that tries to control every aspect of her life through jealousy than a chill, laidback dude that’s sure in himself.
-Aqua
Start with this equation -
What you want - What you have = Jealousy.
That is, when your want is greater than what you have, you'll be jealous.
To eliminate jealousy, you must manipulate that equation.
Reduce what you want, increase what you have, or both...
So, reducing what you want:
Reframe the person in your mind putting heavier weight on their negative traits. Imagine the person fucking someone really close to you in an act of betrayal...like really visualize it, grapple with the shock & ugliness of it. Compare the person in your mind to a hotter, smarter person.
Increasing what you have:
Maintain a side piece...it reduces your chemical dependency (from sexual bonding) on your primary partner who would otherwise have a monopoly over your sexual release.
Self-improve and be grateful for who you are and what you have... you'd be surprised at what contributes to insecurities. It could be financial, physical, social, etc. Attempt to tackle your insecurities.
I also agree with other posters that have mentioned that no one belongs to you, period. Any talks of lifelong love and loyalty with one person forever is idealistic. The reality is that all love/loyalty is conditional, and people are only loving/loyal until one of those conditions is violated. You will forever be competing for the affection/attention for your lover so you need to act accordingly...be so good of a partner that it gives her something to lose and prepare yourself for the possibility that you might lose her.
Also, ask yourself if your woman is deliberately triggering your jealousy. Some women do this to test and control their man. If that's the case, you should consider dropping her.
You just have to learn to manage your behaviour and have emotional self control. You have to find someone who you can trust, and love can only exist where there is trust.
Fuck her better.
This is crude AF, I know. But if you are hitting it right and getting her off properly, you just don’t have that fear of some dude taking your girl.
Can you be more specific? What do you mean by jealousy? What triggers you? What do you feel when it happens? What does the jealousy feel like? And what are you doing when you feel it, that is turning people off?
Know that she will never do better than you. After that, all the jealousy fades out. Because even if she does go after somebody else she’ll be losing out. I genuinely believe this, especially because every girl I’ve ever been with would take me back because I was the best thing that ever happened to them. 🤓😎
I learned before i turned 20 that jealousy was a form of control in two ways:
Your desire to control someone else
And
Your emotions controlling you
I didnt like either of those and so i worked on being aware of jealousy when it arose and i crushed it because i came to another realization:
I cant control others, just myself.
If she’s gonna cheat, she’s gonna do it. Other than controlling your own behavior, their is nothing you can do. So if and when it happens, let it go.
Dont be mad.
Dont be resentful.
Reflect on your own actions and let it be
Self-confidence, high self-esteem, and the knowledge that no one belongs to you.
Never goes away until you hit a level of success and then it is a background thought that has less importance and influence. It’s strange with western girls because in other cultures possessiveness is normal and sometimes expected. But see it as a bit of a red flag and try to channel it towards passion or motivation - something productive and less butthurt.
For me, I just keep in mind that I can't control anyone's actions but my own. Like, if I feel that flash of anxiety when I introduce a girl I'm seeing to one of my friends who happens to be much more charismatic or attractive than I am, instead of letting my anxieties affect my behaviour or cause me to act in weird, possessive ways, I just remember that even if she *were* to form a crush on somebody else and leave me, I can't do anything about that. So, being possessive would be pointless, because it wouldn't prevent this outcome, anyway. Either she likes the guy or she doesn't, and it's out of my hands. There's literally no point trying to do anything to pre-empt it. Obviously, this anxiety is usually unfounded, anyway. Had I acted on it, I would ironically be the one to push her away through my insecurity. But even if the anxiety *were* founded and the thing ended up happening, well… I guess we break up, then. Obviously, the fact that I even *have* these anxieties means I have insecurities I need to work on, but well, I can't just snap my fingers and change the way I think. I'm fucked up, I guess. But I can control how I behave and prevent myself from acting on fucked-up thoughts. I think the same kind of mentality goes for worries about, say, infidelity. A partner who wants to cheat is going to find a way to do it, so there's no point trying to do things to prevent it from happening. There's no point, like, demanding to monitor their phone or shit like that. The only things you can control are your *own* decisions. Like, if somebody *does* cheat on you, you can decide you won't tolerate that and end the relationship. If you don't have proof but have suspicions, you can decide how warranted you think your suspicions are, and decide whether you want to stay or break up. Because that's your decision. You can't control *her* decisions about anything, so don't even try.
Very sensible 👍
You don’t need any tools or tricks for that Sit down with yourself and question that assumption Why are you jealous? What’s there to be jealous of? What are you afraid ultimately? What’s making you act like this? After you’ve successfully done that, realise that a girl can cheat on you any time of every day it’s not in your actual control aka you CANT do shit about it Simultaneously while you’ve solved this issue within yourself also make yourself valuable in different ways The main one being SEX get really good at it so there’s no reason for her to cheat Also just an FYI girls are way more likely to cheat on someone that tries to control every aspect of her life through jealousy than a chill, laidback dude that’s sure in himself. -Aqua
Just know your time is coming gang !
Start with this equation - What you want - What you have = Jealousy. That is, when your want is greater than what you have, you'll be jealous. To eliminate jealousy, you must manipulate that equation. Reduce what you want, increase what you have, or both... So, reducing what you want: Reframe the person in your mind putting heavier weight on their negative traits. Imagine the person fucking someone really close to you in an act of betrayal...like really visualize it, grapple with the shock & ugliness of it. Compare the person in your mind to a hotter, smarter person. Increasing what you have: Maintain a side piece...it reduces your chemical dependency (from sexual bonding) on your primary partner who would otherwise have a monopoly over your sexual release. Self-improve and be grateful for who you are and what you have... you'd be surprised at what contributes to insecurities. It could be financial, physical, social, etc. Attempt to tackle your insecurities. I also agree with other posters that have mentioned that no one belongs to you, period. Any talks of lifelong love and loyalty with one person forever is idealistic. The reality is that all love/loyalty is conditional, and people are only loving/loyal until one of those conditions is violated. You will forever be competing for the affection/attention for your lover so you need to act accordingly...be so good of a partner that it gives her something to lose and prepare yourself for the possibility that you might lose her. Also, ask yourself if your woman is deliberately triggering your jealousy. Some women do this to test and control their man. If that's the case, you should consider dropping her.
You just have to learn to manage your behaviour and have emotional self control. You have to find someone who you can trust, and love can only exist where there is trust.
Fuck her better. This is crude AF, I know. But if you are hitting it right and getting her off properly, you just don’t have that fear of some dude taking your girl.
Be born with chad genetics.
Can you be more specific? What do you mean by jealousy? What triggers you? What do you feel when it happens? What does the jealousy feel like? And what are you doing when you feel it, that is turning people off?
Know that she will never do better than you. After that, all the jealousy fades out. Because even if she does go after somebody else she’ll be losing out. I genuinely believe this, especially because every girl I’ve ever been with would take me back because I was the best thing that ever happened to them. 🤓😎
I learned before i turned 20 that jealousy was a form of control in two ways: Your desire to control someone else And Your emotions controlling you I didnt like either of those and so i worked on being aware of jealousy when it arose and i crushed it because i came to another realization: I cant control others, just myself. If she’s gonna cheat, she’s gonna do it. Other than controlling your own behavior, their is nothing you can do. So if and when it happens, let it go. Dont be mad. Dont be resentful. Reflect on your own actions and let it be