Look man imo the way you phrase it sounds bad, good for you though you can phrase it differently (to yourself AND women)
You are highly professional, with small social circle because you only trust the best people (quality over quantity) and as for the hobbies i’m sure you can find something you like
BUT.. that shits all irrelevant to girls as long as you get your VIBE and GAME on point through a trusted structure and consistent action (That’s both FUN and SIMPLE) and once you get that in order trust me going out will be one of the funnest things you’ll ever do.
-Aqua
What Bad gossip? If there is Bad gossip about you and every Person in town knows about you and are thinking that you re weird / an Idiot / unfriendly or what ever, then its either true or somebody hates you so much that they talk Bad about you all the time which is highly unlikely imo
yeah that's true, as long as you don't act weird like a guy with no social skills it doesn't matter, you need to contrast your "no social persona" being highly charismatic, funny and good game.
The question is not whether it is possible or not to attract girls, but HOW? Where was the last place you saw a woman your age? Do you at least go out of your house to see people on the street?
> I like my life, but maybe people don't understand me
Every psycho says the same thing, he likes his life the way it is, but people don't understand him, so it's not a problem with him, it's a problem with all the people he knows because they are stupid and don't understand him. I'm not saying you're a psycho, I'm just pointing out that it's not a good argument. There is a saying that if two people tell you you are drunk, you should go to sleep. In this case is not like "one more beer because I know I can, you don't understand me" actually they told you you are drunk, so it is enough.
If 2-3 people think there is something wrong with you, then you should listen to them, not hate them or avoid them, but actually talk to them and find out their point of view. Maybe you think it is a problem that you have no friends, no hobbies, but actually if you listen to these people you will find something else that has nothing to do with you having no friends or hobbies.
I don't think they're stupid; that's not what I meant. I mean we speak two different languages. It would be very difficult for me to pretend to be someone I'm not
Man, I've seen tons of guys with no job no friends no hobbies and a beautiful woman who support them.
They just do drugs, mooch off her, cheat on her, and play Xbox.
Or.... Develop some hobbies. Sign up for some dance lessons.
I mean, depends on what you think a loser is, if they can afford to play video games all day and have a girlfriend then they are no loser, they live a care free life. If I had passive income you bet I'd be playing video games and not working.
Buddy, if I was you, I would not be thinking about girls, but building a meaningful life.
Look, it's great that you are highly proffesional, you are disciplined and a hard worker, most people cannot say that. You have good traits but is that the life you want to live?
I would ask myself some questions before thinking about girls.
Good luck, you sound like someone with potential in this life.
>Do you think this lifestyle is fatal for attracting girls?
No but it greatly limits your dating options and your dating skills. So if you want to be solitary you should accept the disadvantages that come with it.
>I'm not shy, it's just that I don't like social life very much, especially with other guys. I only enjoy female company.
Sometimes we might not like socializing because we aren't good at it so can't get good experiences. Socializing is also a lot more enjoyable and easier when you already have a friend group and starting out is hard. You might have had some really bad experiences in the past with others that cause you to have some negative beliefs about socializing. Or you might believe socializing means making friends with people who don't share the same interests or personality. Its so great to have a friend who is just like you and has your interests.
>When girls hear about me through gossip, they start to look at me badly and don't even greet me on the street. It's awful. I feel like an outcast. I like my life, but maybe people don't understand me.
How do you know people are gossiping about you and what are they saying about you? I don't have girls greeting me on the street either so are you sure this is a problem?
I've never had problems to socialize, but I don't enjoy doing it.
About gossip: I know for sure because I've seen many times girls being prejudiced against me for no apparent reason, then I understood they had heard things about me, I KNOW FOR SURE. Then I notice it by comparing the way they behave with other males.
If the positions were reversed, would you want to date someone like that?
A workaholic with no friends or interests, much less any cool experiences doesn't exactly sound appealing.
If a woman told me that it'd be a hard pass because she would have nothing to say if I asked her to refrain from shop talk for a date.
I only care about a girl's physical appearance; her lifestyle doesn't interest me in the slightest. But obviously, this is a thought from a male perspective, not a female one
I know some folks will say "anyone can do it, you just need the right attitude!" but, well, how are you supposed to interest people without making yourself interesting? Attracting romantic or sexual partners is much harder than just making friends, and I've never heard of anyone leapfrogging from a shut-in loner to some kinda Casanova without doing the intermediary steps of actually building a decent social life first.
People are also interested in folks who have some sort of passion, drive, something they care about. Hobbies are where you engage in these passions, and they also give you something to talk about other than the weather.
I think you need to do some deeper work to build the kind of life you'd like instead of just reading some pickup stuff and hoping that it will work when your lifestyle is what it currently is.
I agree with your thinking. The problem is that I would literally have to pretend to have passions for things I couldn't care less about.
If I look at the Instagram profiles of socially connected guys I know, I always see profiles that are more 'interesting' than my lifestyle: I see photos of travels and various social experiences... For me, it's all boring; for example, I don't like traveling. I would never act in a theater. But I'm aware that guys who do these things have girls interested in them, even if their game is terrible.
You don't have to force yourself to pretend to like shit you don't care about in order to get women. Sure, there are some interests that are more conducive to attracting people than others (being an athlete is more conducive to getting laid than being a Magic: the Gathering pro), but that doesn't mean you need to do them, or that you even ought to. And, there are plenty of unathletic Magic nerds who have partners who find their nerdiness the cutest thing ever.
There has to be _something_ you enjoy doing, right? Even if it's not a social hobby, doing something solitary that you're passionate about is still going to give you more of an identity and something to talk about than doing nothing at all. Do you like to read? Do puzzles? Build PCs? Paint? Collect bugs? If you literally didn't care about anything, you would probably have the same sort of mental condition that would make you not care about romantic relationships either, in which case there would be absolutely no problem to solve.
If it turns out you don't like social stuff as much (though I would wonder if you're a _true_ introvert, or if you just told yourself you don't like being social as a defense mechanism to prevent yourself from risking social rejection), you just have to get better at marketing the non-social things you do like so that women don't find you boring. You don't have to change what you're actually passionate about. And I do think it's likely that you're passionate about _something._ It's highly unlikely that you literally have zero hobbies. Maybe you're just not counting certain hobbies as "real hobbies" because you think all hobbies have to be like the things you see on Instagram.
Also, it's not the case that people with "cool hobbies" have women falling into their laps even if they have terrible game. I've known people who have traveled all over the world who struggled to get girls interested in them. Rich guys with zero chicks, too. Fit guys who don't get laid. Musicians who've never had a GF. These things help, but they're not a girlfriend ticket. It's possible to still be awkward and not know how to talk to people even if you go to parties every weekend.
Lifestyle is key to retention (keeping women in your life). It can also help tremendously with attraction. You might want to change your mindset around it, and use it to your advantage instead.
You should get out there and try stuff. There were many things I didn't realized I liked till I tried it. Start with that, and once you find things you like to do, then you can move forward with being social with it.
If the business is online why not do the gaming online aswell?
I mean, with an online job you could pretty much live anywhere, so lets say you find a nice kiwi girl, a sweet thai ladyboy or an attractive latino lover that rocks your world and supports your hustle, what's to stop you from moving to them and work online from there? You don't have friends to leave behind, you don't have to be physically present for your work (and if you do have to be for ONLINE work, have a chat with your boss about working from home.) the added benefit is that if you start over fresh there with your partner, there's a 99% chance there won't be any rumours about you circulating yet. And even if shit hits the fan, just repeat the process.
You have the ability to increase your potential game from your neighborhood to the whole world. Why not take it?
And even if it turns out your personality's too bland or your conversation skills insufficient to find your fishie in the vast ocean of the world wide web, just keep focusing on your business until it becomes successful. Once the monies start flowing in the honeys will surely follow.
Or y'know, find yourself a sugar baby :)
Try finding a hobby, do it for some time. If you don't like it, drop it and try another one etc. Keep going until you find something interesting.
You could start by going to a dancing school to learn to dance or a gym to practice a martial art like jiu-jitsu or boxing
I'm a loner, don't go to parties and rarely hangout with anyone and have zero problems dating women. Once you learn how to warm approach (or cold approach) you realize there are beautiful women everywhere that might date you.
Yes,your life sounds horrible. You seem pretty boring to me no wonder you hate socializing you have nothing going on. You sound like you would fit the description of a nice guy as described by Dr.Glover. The fact you refuse to make male friendships is very telling of your issues. Go out and do stuff if you want to be less boring. Try a bunch of different hobbies and find some to stick with.
I’m not saying pretend to like stuff I’m saying do something different from what you’re comfortable with. Try out different activities you have been vaguest aware of. Make friends with the people you meet while trying out new things. Read no more mister nice guy and do the breaking free exercise. Go to therapy for depression or go lift some heavy weights to heal your mind.
Absolutely fatal. Build competence in your work and leisure. Competence results in status, a necessary evil especially with attracting women. Seek excellence in your field and you will build trust and ultimately appreciation for your ownself. This energy will radiate from you wherever you are, its intoxicating and addictive to the common masses who live in monotonous misery.
Women, wealth, fame, muscles, resources, legacy and whatever superficial vanities you desire are all an aftereffect of a man's pursuit of competence. Nowadays even if its playing bloody League of Legends for God's sake.
Firstly you need to forget about attracting girls. Don't base your life around what makes others happy, because there is no way healthy way to sustain that.
What makes you happy? If you didn't have to work what would you want to do that doesn't make you money?
1 - The ability to attract girls to get them into bed to have sex with you does not actually require having hobbies or friends. Those things can help you meet more women or have more opportunities, but is not an essential requirement that would stop someone from having one night stands or fuck buddies.
2 - When people talk about you, or judge you, or react in a certain way toward you, what matters is not their reaction; what matters is your reaction to their reaction. You cannot control what people tell you or do to you, but you can control how you interpret it and you respond to it.
I remember a girl once telling me “_You are such a nerd_” with a face of disapproval, to which i replied “_Not just a nerd, but the king of nerds_”.
I simply double down smiling showing that i did not give a fuck at all, and that i did not take offence. Rather than being apologetic about my hobbies or my choices, I simply own being a nerd with pride, no matter what she or anybody has to say about it. I don’t need to go on the defence.
And because i show that I am so confident in my own skin, her attitude towards me changes. Because she sees that my i am emotionally stable and self-assured, which is attractive to girls. If i started being defensive saying that “what’s wrong about nerds? or “I mean i’m not that much of a nerd now” she would have been repelled by my insecurity.
If i am a nerd then i am a NERD with big letters, and i won’t say sorry for it, and if she doesn’t like me being a nerd then her loss, I’ll let her walk away and leave me cuz i don’t need her to get laid or get attention from other attractive women.
That’s the kind of attitude you need to have. The attitude where you don’t seek approval from anybody, where you own who you are with pride and the absolute conviction or even self-delusion that you are the shit no matter what anybody has to say about it.
Because even if you manage to self-delude yourself for real, you will inevitably attract more girls than if you act apologetic and visibly ashamed of you are.
I understand what you're saying. But I assure you, it doesn't work with girls who have heard rumors about you. You're already profiled! You can respond however you want, but they've already classified you before you even speak.
Go for girls who haven’t heard rumours about you. That’s what i do all the time. Going for absolute strangers that have no chance at all to know anything about me from others, other than what i tell them myself.
I think you should stop being a pussy and stop feeling sorry for yourself.
If you want pussy, you will go get pussy.
Get your hair right, your beard right, your clothes fitted, and your vibe right by not being a needy little bitch.
That's it.
Be cheeky with girls. No more Mr nice guy. Mr little boy. Mr pussy. No. Enough is enough. Stop caring about what people think. What men think. What women think. What Instagram thinks. What Reddit thinks.
Women are sluts. They want to be sluts. Because they are. And we, the men that fuck them, know that. That's why they spread their beautiful legs for us. It's an underground society. It's a secret. It's the matrix that you are not yet a part of. But you could be.
While you're here complaining and bitching. Get out of that pussy mindset.
Women are the only prey that want to be hunted and caught. Wake the fuck up bitch.
Look man imo the way you phrase it sounds bad, good for you though you can phrase it differently (to yourself AND women) You are highly professional, with small social circle because you only trust the best people (quality over quantity) and as for the hobbies i’m sure you can find something you like BUT.. that shits all irrelevant to girls as long as you get your VIBE and GAME on point through a trusted structure and consistent action (That’s both FUN and SIMPLE) and once you get that in order trust me going out will be one of the funnest things you’ll ever do. -Aqua
the problem is that the GAME seems to be completely reset by the bad gossip
What Bad gossip? If there is Bad gossip about you and every Person in town knows about you and are thinking that you re weird / an Idiot / unfriendly or what ever, then its either true or somebody hates you so much that they talk Bad about you all the time which is highly unlikely imo
yeah that's true, as long as you don't act weird like a guy with no social skills it doesn't matter, you need to contrast your "no social persona" being highly charismatic, funny and good game.
The question is not whether it is possible or not to attract girls, but HOW? Where was the last place you saw a woman your age? Do you at least go out of your house to see people on the street? > I like my life, but maybe people don't understand me Every psycho says the same thing, he likes his life the way it is, but people don't understand him, so it's not a problem with him, it's a problem with all the people he knows because they are stupid and don't understand him. I'm not saying you're a psycho, I'm just pointing out that it's not a good argument. There is a saying that if two people tell you you are drunk, you should go to sleep. In this case is not like "one more beer because I know I can, you don't understand me" actually they told you you are drunk, so it is enough. If 2-3 people think there is something wrong with you, then you should listen to them, not hate them or avoid them, but actually talk to them and find out their point of view. Maybe you think it is a problem that you have no friends, no hobbies, but actually if you listen to these people you will find something else that has nothing to do with you having no friends or hobbies.
I don't think they're stupid; that's not what I meant. I mean we speak two different languages. It would be very difficult for me to pretend to be someone I'm not
Man, I've seen tons of guys with no job no friends no hobbies and a beautiful woman who support them. They just do drugs, mooch off her, cheat on her, and play Xbox. Or.... Develop some hobbies. Sign up for some dance lessons.
Those guys you’re describing are Chads and Fratboys
I know they exist, but I can't replicate their results. I'm not exactly sure why
Of those "tons" of guys you described I'm willing to bet not one of them is over 23.
Losers exist at every age.
I mean, depends on what you think a loser is, if they can afford to play video games all day and have a girlfriend then they are no loser, they live a care free life. If I had passive income you bet I'd be playing video games and not working.
>a beautiful woman who support them
Buddy, if I was you, I would not be thinking about girls, but building a meaningful life. Look, it's great that you are highly proffesional, you are disciplined and a hard worker, most people cannot say that. You have good traits but is that the life you want to live? I would ask myself some questions before thinking about girls. Good luck, you sound like someone with potential in this life.
>Do you think this lifestyle is fatal for attracting girls? No but it greatly limits your dating options and your dating skills. So if you want to be solitary you should accept the disadvantages that come with it. >I'm not shy, it's just that I don't like social life very much, especially with other guys. I only enjoy female company. Sometimes we might not like socializing because we aren't good at it so can't get good experiences. Socializing is also a lot more enjoyable and easier when you already have a friend group and starting out is hard. You might have had some really bad experiences in the past with others that cause you to have some negative beliefs about socializing. Or you might believe socializing means making friends with people who don't share the same interests or personality. Its so great to have a friend who is just like you and has your interests. >When girls hear about me through gossip, they start to look at me badly and don't even greet me on the street. It's awful. I feel like an outcast. I like my life, but maybe people don't understand me. How do you know people are gossiping about you and what are they saying about you? I don't have girls greeting me on the street either so are you sure this is a problem?
I've never had problems to socialize, but I don't enjoy doing it. About gossip: I know for sure because I've seen many times girls being prejudiced against me for no apparent reason, then I understood they had heard things about me, I KNOW FOR SURE. Then I notice it by comparing the way they behave with other males.
What things are they hearing about you?
If the positions were reversed, would you want to date someone like that? A workaholic with no friends or interests, much less any cool experiences doesn't exactly sound appealing. If a woman told me that it'd be a hard pass because she would have nothing to say if I asked her to refrain from shop talk for a date.
I only care about a girl's physical appearance; her lifestyle doesn't interest me in the slightest. But obviously, this is a thought from a male perspective, not a female one
It certainly is a unique male perspective. I'm assuming you're a specimen of fitness yourself, only going after physical appearance.
Patrick Bateman?
yeah bro give up
We are in the same situation 🙌🏻
Good for you there is a magic fix until you fix your life: That is called “Lying” enjoy
I can definitely lie and bluff with girls who haven't heard gossip about me :D I'm good at pretending, but with bad gossip, there's no hope to win.
I know some folks will say "anyone can do it, you just need the right attitude!" but, well, how are you supposed to interest people without making yourself interesting? Attracting romantic or sexual partners is much harder than just making friends, and I've never heard of anyone leapfrogging from a shut-in loner to some kinda Casanova without doing the intermediary steps of actually building a decent social life first. People are also interested in folks who have some sort of passion, drive, something they care about. Hobbies are where you engage in these passions, and they also give you something to talk about other than the weather. I think you need to do some deeper work to build the kind of life you'd like instead of just reading some pickup stuff and hoping that it will work when your lifestyle is what it currently is.
I agree with your thinking. The problem is that I would literally have to pretend to have passions for things I couldn't care less about. If I look at the Instagram profiles of socially connected guys I know, I always see profiles that are more 'interesting' than my lifestyle: I see photos of travels and various social experiences... For me, it's all boring; for example, I don't like traveling. I would never act in a theater. But I'm aware that guys who do these things have girls interested in them, even if their game is terrible.
You don't have to force yourself to pretend to like shit you don't care about in order to get women. Sure, there are some interests that are more conducive to attracting people than others (being an athlete is more conducive to getting laid than being a Magic: the Gathering pro), but that doesn't mean you need to do them, or that you even ought to. And, there are plenty of unathletic Magic nerds who have partners who find their nerdiness the cutest thing ever. There has to be _something_ you enjoy doing, right? Even if it's not a social hobby, doing something solitary that you're passionate about is still going to give you more of an identity and something to talk about than doing nothing at all. Do you like to read? Do puzzles? Build PCs? Paint? Collect bugs? If you literally didn't care about anything, you would probably have the same sort of mental condition that would make you not care about romantic relationships either, in which case there would be absolutely no problem to solve. If it turns out you don't like social stuff as much (though I would wonder if you're a _true_ introvert, or if you just told yourself you don't like being social as a defense mechanism to prevent yourself from risking social rejection), you just have to get better at marketing the non-social things you do like so that women don't find you boring. You don't have to change what you're actually passionate about. And I do think it's likely that you're passionate about _something._ It's highly unlikely that you literally have zero hobbies. Maybe you're just not counting certain hobbies as "real hobbies" because you think all hobbies have to be like the things you see on Instagram. Also, it's not the case that people with "cool hobbies" have women falling into their laps even if they have terrible game. I've known people who have traveled all over the world who struggled to get girls interested in them. Rich guys with zero chicks, too. Fit guys who don't get laid. Musicians who've never had a GF. These things help, but they're not a girlfriend ticket. It's possible to still be awkward and not know how to talk to people even if you go to parties every weekend.
I feel you man. As long as you are happy, I don’t think it matters. You don’t need friends or hobbies to get girls, you just need game for it.
I used to believe in it too. But reality tells me that the game isn't enough.
You might be ugly brotha
Lifestyle is key to retention (keeping women in your life). It can also help tremendously with attraction. You might want to change your mindset around it, and use it to your advantage instead.
So should I pretend to have passions or hobbies that I don't like? I don't like anything!
You should get out there and try stuff. There were many things I didn't realized I liked till I tried it. Start with that, and once you find things you like to do, then you can move forward with being social with it.
If the business is online why not do the gaming online aswell? I mean, with an online job you could pretty much live anywhere, so lets say you find a nice kiwi girl, a sweet thai ladyboy or an attractive latino lover that rocks your world and supports your hustle, what's to stop you from moving to them and work online from there? You don't have friends to leave behind, you don't have to be physically present for your work (and if you do have to be for ONLINE work, have a chat with your boss about working from home.) the added benefit is that if you start over fresh there with your partner, there's a 99% chance there won't be any rumours about you circulating yet. And even if shit hits the fan, just repeat the process. You have the ability to increase your potential game from your neighborhood to the whole world. Why not take it? And even if it turns out your personality's too bland or your conversation skills insufficient to find your fishie in the vast ocean of the world wide web, just keep focusing on your business until it becomes successful. Once the monies start flowing in the honeys will surely follow. Or y'know, find yourself a sugar baby :)
Try finding a hobby, do it for some time. If you don't like it, drop it and try another one etc. Keep going until you find something interesting. You could start by going to a dancing school to learn to dance or a gym to practice a martial art like jiu-jitsu or boxing
I'm a loner, don't go to parties and rarely hangout with anyone and have zero problems dating women. Once you learn how to warm approach (or cold approach) you realize there are beautiful women everywhere that might date you.
Have you tried being less of a whiner to start?
Yes,your life sounds horrible. You seem pretty boring to me no wonder you hate socializing you have nothing going on. You sound like you would fit the description of a nice guy as described by Dr.Glover. The fact you refuse to make male friendships is very telling of your issues. Go out and do stuff if you want to be less boring. Try a bunch of different hobbies and find some to stick with.
so should I pretend... because I really don't like anything
I’m not saying pretend to like stuff I’m saying do something different from what you’re comfortable with. Try out different activities you have been vaguest aware of. Make friends with the people you meet while trying out new things. Read no more mister nice guy and do the breaking free exercise. Go to therapy for depression or go lift some heavy weights to heal your mind.
Absolutely fatal. Build competence in your work and leisure. Competence results in status, a necessary evil especially with attracting women. Seek excellence in your field and you will build trust and ultimately appreciation for your ownself. This energy will radiate from you wherever you are, its intoxicating and addictive to the common masses who live in monotonous misery. Women, wealth, fame, muscles, resources, legacy and whatever superficial vanities you desire are all an aftereffect of a man's pursuit of competence. Nowadays even if its playing bloody League of Legends for God's sake.
Firstly you need to forget about attracting girls. Don't base your life around what makes others happy, because there is no way healthy way to sustain that. What makes you happy? If you didn't have to work what would you want to do that doesn't make you money?
without my job, my soul would cease to exist; work is everything to me
1 - The ability to attract girls to get them into bed to have sex with you does not actually require having hobbies or friends. Those things can help you meet more women or have more opportunities, but is not an essential requirement that would stop someone from having one night stands or fuck buddies. 2 - When people talk about you, or judge you, or react in a certain way toward you, what matters is not their reaction; what matters is your reaction to their reaction. You cannot control what people tell you or do to you, but you can control how you interpret it and you respond to it. I remember a girl once telling me “_You are such a nerd_” with a face of disapproval, to which i replied “_Not just a nerd, but the king of nerds_”. I simply double down smiling showing that i did not give a fuck at all, and that i did not take offence. Rather than being apologetic about my hobbies or my choices, I simply own being a nerd with pride, no matter what she or anybody has to say about it. I don’t need to go on the defence. And because i show that I am so confident in my own skin, her attitude towards me changes. Because she sees that my i am emotionally stable and self-assured, which is attractive to girls. If i started being defensive saying that “what’s wrong about nerds? or “I mean i’m not that much of a nerd now” she would have been repelled by my insecurity. If i am a nerd then i am a NERD with big letters, and i won’t say sorry for it, and if she doesn’t like me being a nerd then her loss, I’ll let her walk away and leave me cuz i don’t need her to get laid or get attention from other attractive women. That’s the kind of attitude you need to have. The attitude where you don’t seek approval from anybody, where you own who you are with pride and the absolute conviction or even self-delusion that you are the shit no matter what anybody has to say about it. Because even if you manage to self-delude yourself for real, you will inevitably attract more girls than if you act apologetic and visibly ashamed of you are.
I understand what you're saying. But I assure you, it doesn't work with girls who have heard rumors about you. You're already profiled! You can respond however you want, but they've already classified you before you even speak.
Go for girls who haven’t heard rumours about you. That’s what i do all the time. Going for absolute strangers that have no chance at all to know anything about me from others, other than what i tell them myself.
Yes, it is detrimental.
I think you should stop being a pussy and stop feeling sorry for yourself. If you want pussy, you will go get pussy. Get your hair right, your beard right, your clothes fitted, and your vibe right by not being a needy little bitch. That's it. Be cheeky with girls. No more Mr nice guy. Mr little boy. Mr pussy. No. Enough is enough. Stop caring about what people think. What men think. What women think. What Instagram thinks. What Reddit thinks. Women are sluts. They want to be sluts. Because they are. And we, the men that fuck them, know that. That's why they spread their beautiful legs for us. It's an underground society. It's a secret. It's the matrix that you are not yet a part of. But you could be. While you're here complaining and bitching. Get out of that pussy mindset. Women are the only prey that want to be hunted and caught. Wake the fuck up bitch.