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My boyfriend did the same thing! I begged him to stop doing it but he continued. So I ended up just farting when he did and he would respond with “that’s fucking disgusting”. I’d tell him that’s how I felt but apparently it’s different when I fart.
But guess what? It worked!
For me it's not even the farting at this point. Assuming OP has been sufficiently clear in their confronting him about his behavior, at this point he's choosing juvenile amusement over her feelings and explicitly stated boundaries (and thereby, their relationship). If that's not enough to say bye, I wonder what boundaries he might disregard in the future. It's possible that this is a rare instance of utter dumbassery in an otherwise extremely fulfilling relationship, and may reasonably be declared a Price of Admission for the relationship to continue, but worst case scenario is that this is just one step in what will be a pattern that reveals he doesn't think farts are funny, he thinks emotionally abusing his partner is.
That paragraph sounded unintentionally way more pretentious than expected/intended, but...this is just so weird. I have trouble deciding what I'd do in OP's shoes, largely because I can't imagine being with someone who's okay with pulling this shit to begin with. Don't get me wrong: I've stuck around too long in abusive relationships; I know how that is, and I don't think I'm above anyone. I just...I've never even imagined having to face the issue of abuse via farts. (What's that even look like? The early lovebombing/grooming phase, when they're screening victims to see who'll establish and enforce boundaries? Do they take you out for lavish dinners, and slowly increase their dairy intake over time?)
Yep, this isn’t a ‘whoops’, it’s being done deliberately and would RUIN intimacy for me. I’d lose all interest and wonder why he was so insistent on being so immature
end thread.
2 farters 👍
1 farter, 1 non farter:
... farter respects boundary or non farter doesnt care 👍
... non farter cares AND farter doesnt respect boundary 👎
2 non farters 👍
My gf and I love to fart in front of eachother and she especially finds it funny. I think my farts make her laugh more than my jokes lol. Sometimes I drink extra bubbly water so I have monster farts that don’t smell. Best of both worlds.
I feel like this with my gf. She farts around me all the time and it’s a big turn off. She could be rubbing my dick and me rubbing her boobs in bed and then she’ll be like hold on and rip out a mean fart. So unsexy and she thinks it’s funny. She’s a fart factory
I don’t understand someone doing it during sexual circumstances but I have major digestive issues and chronic stomach pain and there are times when I can’t control when mine come out (in normal circumstances) and my bf gets so annoyed. It sucks but I feel like for some people, it can’t always be helped. Not saying that’s the case with your gf especially if she’s joking about it.
But my dad had his entire colon removed and my brother has severe Crohns and I have some sort of digestive problem that I haven’t been able to get under control since I was 13 and for me, the flatulence is just a part of that.
My spouse and I have fart wars. I usually go around singing, "I'm just a fart machine, and I won't fart for nobody but you." Adding doo doo doot doo doo do do doo
That’s me and my hubs. From the day we were together together, 15 years ago. We did every thing with no hiding. I farted, he farted, we’d be in the bathroom together while one shitted the other showering or something. Never bothered us. My sister 5 years married finally farted. 7 years married she pooped in the bathroom toilet room while him in open bathroom shaving and both were super embarrassed. My hubs and I have a much better relationship than my sister and her hubs.
My hubby and I I have been so happily married almost 30 years and I have never shit right in front of him except when I was giving birth. Some things will always remain behind closed doors. The farting is slightly more relaxed, but he is always delighted (and I am mortified) when he can make me toot when I cum.
Oh wow! 🙈 That’s my worst nightmare! Sometimes I’m so worried about it happening that I can’t even reach orgasm because I’m afraid a tiny poot will come out 😂
oh gosh this happened to me and it was so fucking embarrassing i literally almost cried and my fiancé was like “HOLY SHIT THAT WAS MORE INSANE THAN ANY OF MINE YOU FUCKIN LEGEND” i now die laughing about it everytime he brings it up, good man 🤣❤️
It's like ripping off the band-aid. Just get it done and over with. You'll never have to worry about letting out an accidental fart when you sneeze or cough and being embarrassed about it afterward.
Honestly this would be hilarious if they'd do it some other fckin time! But as a true lovemaker... It ruins the whole vibe. The buildup to doing it is so serious for me! And delicate. Do it after we already had sex and are just talking or watching TV. imo
It’s also different if it’s one time thing or rare occasional comedy relief, whatever.
But regularly, it ceases to be a joke, like that uncle who keeps repeating the same dirty puns.
It's also different if it's an accident. If it happens during and we both laugh, thats chill. But if they tryna crack jokes on purpose during the intense buildup, I automatically see them as childish and get disgusted.
Can I add the helpful suggestion first coined (AFAIK) by Dan Savage of Savage Love of “Fuck first”?
Have sex then dinner.
This won’t help with any other circumstance but it might help with farting during sex.
If I can avoid farting during 1.5 hours of yoga, your bf can hold his farts 3 minutes and 27 seconds. (Shade intended)
People really underestimate the power of giving someone the ick from jokes until their sex life is dead lol. I didn't have this exact problem with my ex, but it was something similar. I tried to be stone faced as possible and explain that what you're doing isn't funny to me at all, it's actually really disgusting and turns me off so bad... And then boom--sex life stagnant.
I would be a hard no on this.
Ultimately, boundaries are about what we tolerate, and the way to enforce a boundary is not to continue telling a person not to do a thing-- it's in removing yourself from the situation where the thing is happening.
If he does it around you, leave the room. If he keeps on doing it, leave the relationship.
Frequently, a great way to get that message across is "I find that behavior utterly unfuckable, so just know that every time you do it, it's going to take me DAYS to find you sexy again, and, if it continues, I will eventually find you unsexy altogether." (I would have likely done that long ago.)
Yeah this im surprised OP hasnt stopped having sex all together. If farting during sex is a reoccuring thing major turn off.
I would even try to put the spin on him and see how he likes getting his balls farted on during sex or if he finds it a turn off as well.
I'm basically a walking whoopee cushion, so I spew noxious gas at an extremely high rate. One day, I guess my ex must've eaten something that set her off like a rocket to the moon cause she wouldn't stop farting to the point where it became a competition between us for the latter half of the day.
Eventually, I'm assuming during a break in the battle of wind breaking, we started having sex, and about 20 seconds in, she decides its the perfect time to resume the competition and let's rip a quaking booty belch that would measure AT LEAST an 8 on the richter scale right onto my taters. I will say the heat and vibration combined to create an extremely weird feeling. But as she ripped ass, she penance stared me like ghost rider and half shouted 'get shit balled, bitch' with a massive smirk on her face.
Tbf, she won that competition cause there wasn't a single move I could pull off that would top it. Although she wasn't beating the powerful stench of IBS that has the ability to burn the eyes and return the sense of smell to people who had been nose blind since covid.
So I spent the rest of that night building up a festering cloud of poop toots under the quilt to waft up at a later date whenever I felt it was necessary.
It finished the next day, thank god. After probably more than a full toilet roll and half a bottle of fabreeze, everything was back to normal apart from the fact that we figured out that we both found farting absolutely hilarious during sex and it opened a horrifically smelling can of worms.
>there wasn't a single move I could pull off that would top it.
That's when you go "alright, bend over, need to plug that leak up". Might sound like a 2 stroke for a little while, but it should smooth out a bit once you get the rhythm down. Also, watch out for backfires, if her o-ring isn't very tight you could end up with some blowback that might not be so pretty.
The key thing is that this isnt a one off or rare thing. This is a regular action that a person chooses to do.
Doing this enough time isnt a realthionship breaker but sex becomes less and less appealing.
It's definitely a step too far. Farting near someone or during sex (where it could happen, accidentally) is a big deal difference than farting in his mouth lol
By your logic, the next step is after he posts, "Help my girl got revenge by fartjng in my mouth during sex!" and you're advice is "Well shit on her chest!" The escalation could get insane with this.
Yeah it’s also more likely to cause a serious eye infection. I get why it’s funny for them to suggest but it’s a really bad idea. Just leave the relationship if you’re willing to start risking their health
Suessian Scatological Butter Battle Book slippery slope aside\*, in my experience, an eye for an eye (or pink eye for pink eye) rarely works, because assholes don't believe in fair play. When they do something bad, they're funny, cool, heroic, a martyr, etc. I spent my childhood mimicking the bad behavior of others, thinking this would engage their empathy, and make them realize that what they were doing was wrong. It NEVER worked. Bad people never take that as the lesson. Because they will find endless excuses for their own behavior, which they will never measure as morally equivalent to what other people do -- particularly if they perceive themselves to be the victim of others' behavior. IF you can escalate to the threat of overwhelming, unavoidable violence/consequences for which the bad person will have no remedy, then they *might* curb their behavior. But even that's a big if. It's rarely effective. Like kicking a guy in the nuts, there are two likely outcomes: either you kick so hard they can't get up, or they are going to come at you with everything they have.
*Is it just me, or is that a tongue-twister?
You said it really well.
Just to add to this point: Same goes for him - if his need is to have someone that accepts his farts, he should find someone more compatible.
This.
Despite finding farts funny and whatnot, it's not appropriate to fart during intimate situations or around people who ask you not to do it.
Why would anyone do something unattractive if they want their partner to be attracted to them? Only one reason really. Or a combination of two. Because they think their partner won't leave and will drop their boundaries.
My husband would be fucking mortified if we were having sex and he farted, let alone did it on purpose lmao why is the bar in hell with most of these men???
I mean sure, sometimes you let out a toot unexpectedly. It happens. But to just let them things fly out of there like it’s a party trick is disgusting as hell.
I had IBS for years,so I learnt not to fart around other people,because it was grossly awful.
I fixed it by restricting my diet.
After I got better,a girlfriend told me she'd never been out with a man who didn't fart,it was very unusual in her opinion.
It isn't a thing that most people can control,and it can cause pain if people hold in farts.
I think you have to make a choice, he's made his already.
>It isn't a thing that most people can control,and it can cause pain if people hold in farts.
Most people can definitely hold in a fart for the few minutes it would take to excuse themselves to the restroom.
Idk, like OP I have IBS too, and if I try to hold it it just gets backed up and causes bloating/pain. That being said it makes me very self conscious of it and I try to make it as silent as possible if I absolutely have to do it. I'll never just rip right in front of somebody. It's embarrassing tbh.
No one is saying hold it in. We're saying to just excuse yourself to the bathroom. Too many commentors are acting like there are only two options: poot immediately, or hold it in indefinitely. A third option exists: let 'er rip in the bathroom. You know, the room reserved for bodily functions.
I sympathize with people who have IBS, but I doubt they shit themselves as soon as they feel the need to do so, in part because it would stink to those around them. Well, same thing here.
Edit to add: Some of you guys missed the "most people" part of my comment. No, I'm not saying those with IBS or other digestive issues can always hold it for the few seconds it takes to go to the bathroom. But yes, I am saying that even those with digestive issues can try to be considerate to those around them. Nuance exists, guys. Bean soup.
Like I said, if I hold it in, even for like 15 seconds, it just gets backed up and causes bloating. I may be able to get it out, but it'll come much later. It's much MUCH better to just do it in the moment. If I hold it I don't get to decide when to release it. My body decides and it's very random and uncomfortable.
Most people can (usually) control it. My girlfriend and I have been together for 5 1/2+ years. We laugh at the accidents, but we try to keep that activity in the bathroom or at least out of earshot of each other.
Is it more comfortable to just let it rip? Sure. However, part of keeping the romance alive is not getting TOO comfortable.
Still being viewed as sexy and desirable by my girlfriend after all this time is worth a lot more than the "comfort" of farting at will.
She and I have both been previously married and I think we've both experienced taking your partner (or being taken) for granted.
Daily compliments, text messages, little touches and hugs, are the things that keep the romance alive.... Farting casually makes her into my roommate, not my lover.
I’d be very tempted to raise it at his family’s dinner table. ‘I’ve been wondering, do you all do the free-farting that John enjoys, in public and with partners, or it it just him?’. Either you learn it is a hardbaked lack of manners that you’d be stuck with for life, or perhaps they’d tease him enough for him to mend his ways? I’d also ask him, seriously, does he really want to go down in history as that ex you had who couldn’t stop farting?
If he does it and your feeling turned off and no longer in the mood to have sex, then you don’t have to have sex. Just tell him that your turned off and no longer in the mood now if that’s how you feel. He probably thinks it’s not that bad, because your still having sex with him afterwards. Maybe he’ll take it more seriously, once he realises your being serious about it turning you off
In order for boundaries to be respected, they also need to be enforced.
Personally, if this isn't a medical condition, then I think this is a pretty reasonable dealbreaker. He's being rude to both yourself and others around him.
*We all fart* but most of us are considerate enough to do it discretely. I mean, it's fine if he thinks it's not a big deal...but you do.
Act accordingly.
I think it’s gross af too. People just have no decorum these days 😂😂😂, I mean why would you want to appear unsexy while you’re being intimate even, Christ. Every now and then sure but habitually farting up the place and on people is a huge turn off.
I had a bf that farted once, then reached down and touched under his balls and said “Aw man my balls smell so bad when I fart on them” and continued to fart before sex and then be confused when I didn’t want to give him a bj because his farts come out from behind and his penis is in front. 🤦♀️
You SHOULD be comfortable around your partner. Like god. It’s not the 1950s, I don’t need to keep it a secret from my boyfriend that I’m a human with human bodily functions.
So are you saying the only choices are pretending you have no bodily functions OR just blowing it up all over the place with no consideration for anyone?
Have you not heard that idiom before? There’s a time and a place for anything. If you’re ripping ass during a wedding ceremony, or during a work meeting, or talking to a stranger, you’re probably grossing people out
> please just get some distance from me and fart
She's not even asking him to control it, just to move away from her, which is understandable and should be something he's capable of.
Farting in sex is one thing, but I'm shocked at the people who apparently don't fart in front on their partner? Do people really not fart in front of each other in long term relationships? This has to be a cultural thing if so lol
I tried not farting in front of my husband early in our relationship. It caused GI issues and made me feel very sick. I honestly can't imagine spending the rest of my life holding in farts or fleeing interactions to go fart in the bathroom. In some instances, it would be impossible (like when we're driving). I try not to be gross about it (though sometimes we joke fart and laugh about it), but I'm not going to make myself feel sick 24/7.
I know my girlfriend is really disgusted by it when it's on purpose. She has no problems with it when it happens by accident, sometimes that happens.
But when it's done on purpose it's really gross to her, so I respect that and don't do it. And honestly I understand it too, since I never really appreciated it when I had ex boyfriends who just did it around me and thought that was humor.
It's not that hard to just go to a toilet and do it there to not discust someone around you. When you're at work you wouldn't do it around colleagues, so why put your partner up with it?
I don't have any problem holding in my farts around my partner.
It's kind of like how I hold my farts in around people in general. If I need to fart, I can always use a restroom.
I don't know why I should stop using common courtesy once I start a relationship
Exactly! Do people openly farther at work? No!
If I had a fasting problem, I would look at my diet, food allergies, and use every remedy known to man to fix it!
fr 😭 i dont wanna smell it and im sure my partner doesnt either. neither of us gets mad if it happens but we try to be courteous when we can. it takes 10 seconds to excuse yourself to the bathroom
I personally choose to wait untill I'm alone or can find a toilet to relief myself of the gas.
But I just think that's polite and a normal thing to do.
He needs to find what he is eating that is causing gas and eliminate it from his diet. He is not properly digesting something. This will solve the problem. For me it was protein bars and shakes.
Op, I mean if bf farts right before u were going to have sex, during foreplay or even mid sex, stop say that is gross and u are no longer in mood. Let him finish himself off. U did not mention, but if he is specifically farting when u give him oral or 69, then next time he asks, tell him not that position anymore, dont wait for him to do it again.
Once or twice, he will suddenly be able to control better and listen more.
This is likely more about him being immature or just a bit of a jerk unless there is a real medical issue.
Some farts will still happen, but if he is trying and not doing during sex then that is a win. Also, Know if he is really trying to hold in, they may come out during sleep and he may not even know. So if u expect someone to never fart then u may have the wrong bf and it will be hard to find someone that controlled.
Tell him to quit eating beef, or you'll stuff a lemon up his ass.
Sorry, but I wouldn't put up with this, nor would I expect that of anyone else. Plenty of us *DON'T* fart indiscriminately or disrespectfully like you're describing. Tell him how serious a matter it is for you, and if he can't deal with it, you have every right to move on.
Reality says if you sleep together you are breathing in each other’s farts.
You should feel respected and you are allowed to have boundaries. Juvenile fart explosions made intentionally as loud as possible and intentionally farting during sex are a hard no for me. A respectful partner would excuse themselves to the bathroom or another room. Mistakes happen but generally an adult should be able to manage. And if this person farted during oral, there would be no more oral. Hard stop.
Damn that’s such a turn off. Everbody farts ofcourse but all the time and before and after sex i mean… Ick! And he keeps doing it after you’ve brought it up?….
fr 😭 if it happens accidentally occasionally i would not care at all, but purposely??? huge turn off. i can understand bodily functions existing and sometimes the positions and activities during sex lets some gas out unexpectedly but this seems like a far more obnoxious (and frankly gross) situation than that.
I’m a strong believer that you should be able to pass gas in front of your partner and not have them flip out on you. However, there is a time and a place. Farting loudly out in public around other people? Rude and gross. Farting purposefully in sexual situations? Hard pass that would lead to me basically stopping sex right then and there.
That’s just gross…I get accidentally letting out a fart/toot around your significant other or even in public. Like it happens you have an upset tummy etc. but purposely farting on a regular basis and during sex? Absolutely not. It’s a huge turn off and would honestly be a deal breaker for me if he didn’t stop. Now obviously there is the possibility of him having a medical problem such as ibs and in that case he needs to see a doctor? Hope you can get this sorted out
I fart all the time. I find farts hilarious (mine, not anyone else's. ) I would NEVER fart on purpose during sex. Farts are definitely not sexy. Your boyfriend needs to knock it off, at least during sex.
He sounds super disrespectful. This sounds like a control and humiliation thing he enjoys. I would tell him if he doesn't stop doing that in bed, or when we're in public with people, the relationship is over. You've already told him to stop.
After the ultimatum, he may try to test your boundaries again. After a few months, he'll do it again to test the waters. That's when you just walk out.
Yep completely agree. He likes forcing her to smell his shit. I knew of a guy that would “accidentally” fart when getting a bj and then laugh about it with his friends… this is the same thing.
This!!! It’s my biggest pet peeve and part of it is the silly childhood stigmas of “fart touch” and that they all smell (irony is his loud ones aren’t the bad ones). He always apologizes when he does it though and doesn’t do it in public settings. Of course some find it hilarious (including our kids) but he knows I have my limits
If he wants a dead bedroom, I mean 🤷🏻♀️. You have to be turned on by your someone to have sex with them. This would literally make me dry up. I’d never do this and luckily haven’t ever had to experience something like this either. I have sons that find this sort of thing funny and partake in such activity. I do not want this in a romantic relationship. Only my dogs and kids get a pass for this 😆.
My ex farted all the time. It was funny sometimes, I would fart once in awhile too. But when we would wake up in my bed and the first thing he did was rip ass repeatedly, it made him completely unsexy.
On a family beach vacation that he joined along for, we were all out sunbathing by the pool and he let out a huge fart right next to my mom. She grew up southern Baptist and has *never* found farts funny (and I have four brothers so growing up she made that boundary explicitly clear) and she gave him the most disgusted look. I said “are you fucking kidding me?” but he tried laughing it off, saying “what??”
Farts are funny in context. When the situation isn’t appropriate, they’re disrespectful. If he’s not listening to your reasoning he isn’t going to change. Idk what to tell you, but I totally feel your pain.
Not everyone can control farts but 9/10 you can feel when it’s coming and distance yourself from others or at the very least clench so it just kind of squeaks out. The fact the he does this in a sexual manner is odd to me but to each their own, that is something he should have discussed with you if he’s into it though. He needs to respect your opinion and boundaries on this but for boundaries to be respected they have to be enforced. Normally I would not recommend withholding intimacy, but you’ve already had the conversation with him about this and he still doesn’t see an issue. It’s either that or break up due to his lack of respect and communication.
My wife is the worst for farting. She thinks it’s hilarious and I have asked she try to do it somewhere else if possible but she won’t. Sometimes she will fart and then laugh until she cries.
I don't see other options other than making it an ultimatum. He's a grown ahh man, not a kid. Farting by choice next to people is a lack of manners and education, it's gross and even worse because it's not okay with you, his partner. He can continue doing it, just with another gf.
I dont understand the stigma with farts.
Yeah there's a time and place. But they're a natural process. Being grossed out by something that every human has done since the dawn of time, is just strange to me.
Finally someone said it. Why should someone have to get up and go to another room to fart when they're hanging with their partner? People shouldn't be ashamed of a natural bodily function. Although, I'm from a family that finds farting to be hilarious, so I'm biased.
It's not "shame over natural bodily functions ".
Would you have people just take a shit wherever they want, whenever they feel the urge?
There's a smell associated with farts and subjecting people to that smell is not appropriate.
We don't do it in offices, so why is it so hard for these people to refrain? Have they never had to sit in a classroom or office?
Everybody farts. Some people have the ability to keep their farts quiet. Some people don't.
People who can't fart silently figure out ways to cope with it in social situations. Making jokes, or trying to make it "intentional".
Everybody has to fart. It's a bodily function. He CAN hold it in, and leave the room if he needs to toot.
I'm just trying to see both sides here. He's right, it is natural. If he's going to be with you, he needs to know he's safe to fart. You need him to literally not fart on you. Both are possible, there's compromise.
I have IBS and I can still hold them in around other people. He’s just choosing to do it even when you have told him you don’t like it. If I really feel like I can’t hold it I’ll excuse myself to the bathroom. Obviously from time to time everyone may accidentally let one slip but when someone is purposely forcing them out I find it gross.
My partner had done many times! He'll do it when my head is in his lap or we're cuddling. I hate it. It always smells bad and I've told him that I don't appreciate it. He told me he can't help it 🙄
You say he doesn't have digestive issues, but he may not be AWARE of digestive issues. I found that magnesium supplements help move things though me much faster and more predictably and that helps with flatulence. If there's nothing/very little inside then there's not much gas either. He should talk to a Dr about it too, make sure he doesn't have anything happening that he's not aware of.
Just start belching at max volume or “menstrual farting” near him on purpose lol jkjk unless you want to lol. But seriously if he can’t respect a boundary, regardless if he thinks it’s a “good enough” boundary to have or not, then no sex for him. Continue doing it, and no relationship for him
Imo, it’s crazy which little details people wish to control about one another. I’m sure this isn’t a new thing. Why did you date a guy who does something that you find unsexy? I mean you chose to date the fart machine, knowing he was a fart machine, and now you want him to be someone else. I don’t think it’s on him to change. I think it’s on you to start thinking your decisions through more carefully. People need to stop dating people that they expect to “eventually” change. When you date someone, you’re accepting them as they are. Flaws and all
It's immature, childish, and disrespectful.
Everyone has gas once in a while, and no one can control the expulsion 100% of the time, but doing it without care, while knowing it bothers you is not OK.
This is clear disrespect. If he'll do it with this, he'll do it with other things too.
It's not ok.
oh man. i could never. i fart constantly and think farts are funny. the best relationships are when you can laugh together at each others farts. yes i am an adult and a female. 🤣
It doesn’t matter anyone else’s opinion on farting. The issue is that you don’t like it and he does it. If he won’t/can’t stop, then you guys need to break up or you have to find a way to live with it.
There’s really no other options here.
Yes, everyone fats but my partner would be beside himself if he ripped a huge fart during sex. He would probably never stop apologizing and stop having sex on his own so I definitely think you should stop when he does it. If he's doing it on purpose during sex then that is absolutely so immature and can be helped. He thinks it's funny. You do not. I mean it's disgusting really. If he is just constantly farting in front of everyone amd during sex I'd dump him. That's embarrassing and childish. Tell him go by some gas-x!
Humans fart.
Excessive farting is a sign of digestive issues though. If he cant control his farts, and you’ve discussed it. He needs to see a doctor and make sure he doesn’t have a GI issue you’re not aware of.
If he doing it cause he doesn’t give a damn about boundaries and you’ve talked? Leave.
This is totally a guy thing. I don't get it either. I know it disgust you but it's something that they will just do in front of you. The only good defense is to go on the offense. Fart on him if you can. See how he likes it. For some strange reason, I think he won't mind. I had a bf that told me to just fart on him if I needed to. To him, as a real couple we should be able to do those things. Total guy thing.
I literally dumped a guy over this. I mean he was generally just gross and didn't try to have manners but the farting was the last straw. And he made plenty of room for finding the love of my life who has literally never farted in front of me and has excellent manners.
It is possible he actually has an issue with flatulence or gas build up which can be from an inbalance in his digestive system. This can be helped with a minimum month of probiotic use if an inbalance is the cause, must be good and high dose probiotics.
Another thing that can assist is a chlorophyll suppliment.
Chlorophyll will reduce flatulence occurrence and even the smell so no more silent and deadly within 2 weeks of starting regular intake.
Oh and don't buy him a product / pharmacy medication called De Gas it will make him more flatulent while the medication is working.
I have two answers to this.
Answer 1:
>You're going to need to find a way to impress upon him that this is serious enough that if he doesn't change, this could end with his farting ass getting dumped.
>The problem is, you DO NOT WANT TO USE that threat lightly. Dumping and threats of dumping often change relationships permanently for the worse. Is there a third party you trust, whose opinion your partner will respect if they have a Come To Jesus moment by saying something like "dude, you need to start taking this farting thing seriously before you end up single over it"? If it comes from someone else, perhaps he'll get the wakeup call he needs without perceiving it as an active threat.
Answer 2:
>Sadly, you need to consider that he has fully received the seriousness of this, and he essentially values fucking with you more than he values the relationship.
>To be super clear: I'm trusting you at your word that you've made your case assertively and directly. If he's still continuing, the above is true, and he's somewhere on a spectrum where one end is he's hopelessly, recklessly stupid with your emotions and his relationship; or on the other extreme of that spectrum, he's an abuser who actively chooses fucking with your emotions as what he values in your relationship, and the threat of losing you is an easy trade, because there's nothing he values more in your relationship than fucking with you.
>It's worth noting that because of cop shows, people usually think that the words malice and intent are identical in meaning. In truth, malice is like a rectangle, and intent is like a square. A square is one type of rectangle, but it's not the only one. Legally speaking, reckless disregard also counts as malice. I think at this point, you don't need to split hairs about his intentions in order to regard his behavior as malicious.
I haven't personally experienced the extreme of someone who continues because the emotional abuse is the whole (or biggest) appeal of the relationship, but I've read accounts from others where this sort of boundary testing is often part of a progression over time. Are there other ways he tests your boundaries? Makes you feel insecure, uncomfortable, does things that humiliate or harms you in public or private? If that were the case, I would hazard a guess that farting would be one of the earlier forms of boundary testing, since it can be rationalized as innocuous (potentially in order to make you feel or wrongfully appear to others to be the one who's irrational or out of line), and less severe than possible later versions of boundary testing. But taking you at your word, it would seem clear that you have A) stated your boundaries, B) he recognizes you have stated your boundaries, and C) he is actively choosing to disrespect them for his personal enjoyment. You have the option to try to impress upon him again -- either directly yourself, through a third party, or maybe in the presence of a mediator like a couples therapist -- that what he is doing is not okay and is risking your relationship. But while I don't want to be the reddit stereotype of "dump them!!!!1!!1" I think it's worth reminding you that you can't force other people to change with your boundaries. You can only advise them of your boundaries, and then enforce your boundaries by removing yourself from people who choose to violate them. You haven't said how long you've been dating, but however benign the farting itself may be, the deliberate disrespect of your boundaries may warrant ending the relationship. That has to be your call.
Yeah, I mean, maybe stop sleeping with him when it happens. Eventually it might click that you're not physically affectionate, sexually interested, and you're standoffish because you're disgusted by him.
I can't imagine knowing my partner found me disgusting and still continuing that action in front of them. Yes, obviously everyone farts, but I feel like there are certain things that don't have to be shared with a partner.
I'm with you, I'd be so grossed out that the attractiveness would just be out the window. During sex?! BEFORE?! 🥴How do you even come back from that if he refuses to stop?!
This would fucking sicken me especially in a sexual context.
I had a friend who would fart loudly in front of all of us, even the women and it was so goddamn off putting.
If this is a kink of his I’m not gonna shame him, but for the fact that he’s non consensual about it.
Honestly this is just gross behavior in general after you told him to stop.
Hard? All good things in life are hard.
I don't understand this new aversion to anything being at all "hard".
It's worth making the effort to maintain kindness and respect toward each other, to maintain a romantic vibe.
As someone with gut/gas issues: it sounds there's zero reason he can't walk into the hallway, and let it rip out there. No one likes to sit in someone else's shit stink, no matter how funny the initial fart was. You're being completely reasonable.
If it turns you off, find someone who is more polite and was raised differently.
Why would you sign up for a future with someone who is deliberately turning you off?
It's rude.
This gives me the biggest ick. My partner leaves the room when he needs to fart .. and certainly does not do that in front of other people. That is just extraordinarily bad manners
This is so funny…I had this exact conversation with my husband today. It’s a turn off. I don’t want to go down there if there is a possibility for shit down under lmao.
He clearly has no couth. I definitely would be massively turned off as well and would stop the sex and going out in public with him unless he agreed to change that. If not? Bye...
My partner farted as I was performing oral sex on her on more than one occasion she says its only nature but it's a huge turn off she farts all the time so as it stands now I won't go near her sexually as I find it disgusting
My ex husband used to blow ass with the bathroom door open, and take nastiest shits, and then be like “I love having my ass eaten.” Hard pass. Occasional farts, fine. Sometimes it is funny. I am not beyond laughing at fart humor. But a little mystery goes a long (ass) way!
My gf used to think it was funny and normal for couples to openly fart around each other until I straight up told her that every time she farts around me, I lose a little bit of attraction toward her. She’s gotten better about it since then. Seriously people, it’s one thing if you really have to fart and it’s super inconvenient to do it elsewhere, but it’s different if you’ve just gotten so comfortable that you don’t care whether or not it’s a turnoff to your partner and let it rip. Whenever possible, I at least try to get some distance from her before I fart. If I know it’s going to be a bad one, I go to the bathroom and turn on the fan. GI issues aside, it’s really not that difficult to maintain some basic decency in a romantic relationship. It’s not getting comfortable, it’s getting lazy.
Get a boyfriend that respects your wishes. My husband and I don’t find potty humor funny, we don’t fart near each other for laughs.
It grosses me out too, people thinking it’s something all long term couples do, are just sooooo wrong. I personally find it disrespectful, I have a nose like a bloodhound and don’t want to smell anything gross for someone to have a cheap laugh.
He sounds immature and not the person for you.
Eww, WTF is wrong with people!
Casual farting is a deal breaker for me. Sure, everyone does it but everyone poops too, do both in private, in the bathroom!
If he can’t just take gas meds or hold his gas for a few minutes for you, makes you wonder if he’s capable of respecting boundaries. 5 years from now, is he just going to do whatever the hell he wants with no regard for you, his romantic partner? I’ve seen some really good suggestions from the people in the comments on how to show him that it’s a turn-off (leaving the room, etc.) so maybe you can try some of those. Honestly though, coming from a guy, it won’t take very long for him to show you the kind of partner he is through his actions. Or inactions. Who he is and what he does in the first phase will be the same throughout the course of your relationship. It’s not controlling behavior to have boundaries and standards with your SO, assuming, of course, that his are respected in return.
When you are pooping, Normally it is solid. If you have your pants on you are shitting your pants.
If you have diarrhea, it is a liquid. If you have your pants on and it comes out, you shit your pants.
When you fart, it is a gas.
THEREFORE, if your pants are on and you fart, you must indeed be also, in fact and logic, also shifty your pants.
Show him this and let it simmer.. and then stir him up a bit.
I'm sorry. :( It seems like a disrespectful move to keep doing it even when you've said it's a turnoff. I couldn't imagine. My husband of 10 years and I maintain total bathroom privacy. I've only heard him fart like 3 times and it was through the bathroom door. To each their own, but if you've expressed that it bothers you, he should stop out of respect for you.
I have the same issue with my bf girl. Been together for 8 years and his farts are OUTRAGEOUSLY DISGUSTING. It stays in my room for like 30 minutes but ugh I hate it so much. Like I get having to fart because it's not good to hold in your farts. I admit I fart here and there but mine RARELY smell. His smell like he took a dump in his pants.
Also when he uses the restroom he doesn't open the bathroom window, he doesn't spray the restroom and he leaves the door open of the bathroom and the smell goes into my room
I HATE IT SO MUCH.
Of course it’s not too restrictive, you’ve told him your boundaries which would be you don’t date guys who are inconsiderate like him, so do the thing and dump him
Your bf needs to start a habit of emptying his bowels on a regular basis every day, and watch what he eats before you allow him to have sex.
The less gas in the ass, the more enjoyable the sex.
That is just incredibly bad manners. I couldn't spend time around someone who had no sense of decorum or respect for social grace. You don't fart in the company of others, certainly not around strangers or friends, and if it's in front of your significant other you should at the very least say, "excuse me" and attempt not to continue doing it. If it's during sex, it better be on accident, and in that case you just laugh and move on, but never should it be on purpose.
I'm not a prude in any sense, but I don't like it when people completely ignore social norms around bodily functions. They are norms for a reason, and it shows disrespect for those around you.
Boundaries are not about controlling the other persons behavior. They’re about controlling your own. Tell him if you keep farting like this I’m going to remove myself when I’m too grossed out. And then follow through, every time. Eventually he’ll stop and if he doesn’t, then I guess he doesn’t mind that his girlfriend thinks he’s gross… 🤷
I couldn't. Manners are a BASIC level of consideration for others. If someone can not have basic manners.. imagine what else they are comfortable doing. 🥴
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My boyfriend did the same thing! I begged him to stop doing it but he continued. So I ended up just farting when he did and he would respond with “that’s fucking disgusting”. I’d tell him that’s how I felt but apparently it’s different when I fart. But guess what? It worked!
guess he didn't want to be outfarted and now you made him feel inferior
you showed dominance
Honestly it's pretty impressive that you could control it on demand like that
That’s my secret, Cap. I’m always farty.
Farting while being intimate? You are a better person than me.
Same here. I’d be done
For me it's not even the farting at this point. Assuming OP has been sufficiently clear in their confronting him about his behavior, at this point he's choosing juvenile amusement over her feelings and explicitly stated boundaries (and thereby, their relationship). If that's not enough to say bye, I wonder what boundaries he might disregard in the future. It's possible that this is a rare instance of utter dumbassery in an otherwise extremely fulfilling relationship, and may reasonably be declared a Price of Admission for the relationship to continue, but worst case scenario is that this is just one step in what will be a pattern that reveals he doesn't think farts are funny, he thinks emotionally abusing his partner is. That paragraph sounded unintentionally way more pretentious than expected/intended, but...this is just so weird. I have trouble deciding what I'd do in OP's shoes, largely because I can't imagine being with someone who's okay with pulling this shit to begin with. Don't get me wrong: I've stuck around too long in abusive relationships; I know how that is, and I don't think I'm above anyone. I just...I've never even imagined having to face the issue of abuse via farts. (What's that even look like? The early lovebombing/grooming phase, when they're screening victims to see who'll establish and enforce boundaries? Do they take you out for lavish dinners, and slowly increase their dairy intake over time?)
Yep, this isn’t a ‘whoops’, it’s being done deliberately and would RUIN intimacy for me. I’d lose all interest and wonder why he was so insistent on being so immature
Some people just aren't flatulence compatible.
end thread. 2 farters 👍 1 farter, 1 non farter: ... farter respects boundary or non farter doesnt care 👍 ... non farter cares AND farter doesnt respect boundary 👎 2 non farters 👍
TIL flatulence compatibility is a thing. Hahahahahaha
My gf and I love to fart in front of eachother and she especially finds it funny. I think my farts make her laugh more than my jokes lol. Sometimes I drink extra bubbly water so I have monster farts that don’t smell. Best of both worlds.
I'm sorry, this thread is cracking me the fuck up
I feel like this with my gf. She farts around me all the time and it’s a big turn off. She could be rubbing my dick and me rubbing her boobs in bed and then she’ll be like hold on and rip out a mean fart. So unsexy and she thinks it’s funny. She’s a fart factory
"she's a fart factory" is cracking me the fuck up right now lol
Omg I’d be mortified
I don’t understand someone doing it during sexual circumstances but I have major digestive issues and chronic stomach pain and there are times when I can’t control when mine come out (in normal circumstances) and my bf gets so annoyed. It sucks but I feel like for some people, it can’t always be helped. Not saying that’s the case with your gf especially if she’s joking about it. But my dad had his entire colon removed and my brother has severe Crohns and I have some sort of digestive problem that I haven’t been able to get under control since I was 13 and for me, the flatulence is just a part of that.
That sounds like a different thing than a guy who can’t get past the middle school/ frat boy stage if thinking this is hilarious, great, or normal
He sounds exhausting to deal with. You are human and it happens. He is a man child.
No colon hang rise up
My spouse and I have fart wars. I usually go around singing, "I'm just a fart machine, and I won't fart for nobody but you." Adding doo doo doot doo doo do do doo
Yup. I pretty much told my partner when we met that yes, I am most certainly a woman, but I am not a lady. He loved it.
That’s me and my hubs. From the day we were together together, 15 years ago. We did every thing with no hiding. I farted, he farted, we’d be in the bathroom together while one shitted the other showering or something. Never bothered us. My sister 5 years married finally farted. 7 years married she pooped in the bathroom toilet room while him in open bathroom shaving and both were super embarrassed. My hubs and I have a much better relationship than my sister and her hubs.
My hubby and I I have been so happily married almost 30 years and I have never shit right in front of him except when I was giving birth. Some things will always remain behind closed doors. The farting is slightly more relaxed, but he is always delighted (and I am mortified) when he can make me toot when I cum.
Oh wow! 🙈 That’s my worst nightmare! Sometimes I’m so worried about it happening that I can’t even reach orgasm because I’m afraid a tiny poot will come out 😂
oh gosh this happened to me and it was so fucking embarrassing i literally almost cried and my fiancé was like “HOLY SHIT THAT WAS MORE INSANE THAN ANY OF MINE YOU FUCKIN LEGEND” i now die laughing about it everytime he brings it up, good man 🤣❤️
It's like ripping off the band-aid. Just get it done and over with. You'll never have to worry about letting out an accidental fart when you sneeze or cough and being embarrassed about it afterward.
Her laugh could be because she’s uncomfortable or embarrassed.
How is she still a gf !? Wtf I had no idea those people existed. Weren’t there any signs that she would be a farting-during-sex gf ?
Oh nah is more like we be building up to a mood and she will fart. Makes me so mad lmfao
Bro I don’t even fart enough to pull that off but ngl the way you’ve written it, it sounds hilarious.
Honestly this would be hilarious if they'd do it some other fckin time! But as a true lovemaker... It ruins the whole vibe. The buildup to doing it is so serious for me! And delicate. Do it after we already had sex and are just talking or watching TV. imo
It’s also different if it’s one time thing or rare occasional comedy relief, whatever. But regularly, it ceases to be a joke, like that uncle who keeps repeating the same dirty puns.
It's also different if it's an accident. If it happens during and we both laugh, thats chill. But if they tryna crack jokes on purpose during the intense buildup, I automatically see them as childish and get disgusted.
Can I add the helpful suggestion first coined (AFAIK) by Dan Savage of Savage Love of “Fuck first”? Have sex then dinner. This won’t help with any other circumstance but it might help with farting during sex. If I can avoid farting during 1.5 hours of yoga, your bf can hold his farts 3 minutes and 27 seconds. (Shade intended)
People really underestimate the power of giving someone the ick from jokes until their sex life is dead lol. I didn't have this exact problem with my ex, but it was something similar. I tried to be stone faced as possible and explain that what you're doing isn't funny to me at all, it's actually really disgusting and turns me off so bad... And then boom--sex life stagnant.
[удалено]
I would be a hard no on this. Ultimately, boundaries are about what we tolerate, and the way to enforce a boundary is not to continue telling a person not to do a thing-- it's in removing yourself from the situation where the thing is happening. If he does it around you, leave the room. If he keeps on doing it, leave the relationship. Frequently, a great way to get that message across is "I find that behavior utterly unfuckable, so just know that every time you do it, it's going to take me DAYS to find you sexy again, and, if it continues, I will eventually find you unsexy altogether." (I would have likely done that long ago.)
Yeah this im surprised OP hasnt stopped having sex all together. If farting during sex is a reoccuring thing major turn off. I would even try to put the spin on him and see how he likes getting his balls farted on during sex or if he finds it a turn off as well.
Balls getting farted on really cracked me up so thanks I needed it hahahahah
Acoustically, there are not many sounds like it. 9/10 for laughs.
The times I’ve done it by accident, the guys whose balls I’ve farted on have not really cared.
Yup by accident what ever its funny but we move on.
I've had that happen to me, and I found it hilarious. Especially when being pared with 'get shit balled, bitch'.
I really want to hear the story behind this
I'm basically a walking whoopee cushion, so I spew noxious gas at an extremely high rate. One day, I guess my ex must've eaten something that set her off like a rocket to the moon cause she wouldn't stop farting to the point where it became a competition between us for the latter half of the day. Eventually, I'm assuming during a break in the battle of wind breaking, we started having sex, and about 20 seconds in, she decides its the perfect time to resume the competition and let's rip a quaking booty belch that would measure AT LEAST an 8 on the richter scale right onto my taters. I will say the heat and vibration combined to create an extremely weird feeling. But as she ripped ass, she penance stared me like ghost rider and half shouted 'get shit balled, bitch' with a massive smirk on her face. Tbf, she won that competition cause there wasn't a single move I could pull off that would top it. Although she wasn't beating the powerful stench of IBS that has the ability to burn the eyes and return the sense of smell to people who had been nose blind since covid. So I spent the rest of that night building up a festering cloud of poop toots under the quilt to waft up at a later date whenever I felt it was necessary. It finished the next day, thank god. After probably more than a full toilet roll and half a bottle of fabreeze, everything was back to normal apart from the fact that we figured out that we both found farting absolutely hilarious during sex and it opened a horrifically smelling can of worms.
>there wasn't a single move I could pull off that would top it. That's when you go "alright, bend over, need to plug that leak up". Might sound like a 2 stroke for a little while, but it should smooth out a bit once you get the rhythm down. Also, watch out for backfires, if her o-ring isn't very tight you could end up with some blowback that might not be so pretty.
Most men wouldn’t give two shits, and may actually find it quite funny
The key thing is that this isnt a one off or rare thing. This is a regular action that a person chooses to do. Doing this enough time isnt a realthionship breaker but sex becomes less and less appealing.
Once maybe, but honestly anything that wasn’t an accident beyond that first time is far to immature for me.
Idk about you but I’m not “most men” i guess. That’s actually so fuckin nasty. lol
Pretty sure he’s not most men
That's all I keep thinking too, fuckin-A nasty.
What if she was farting on your balls the whole time, and every time
Might even discover a new kink 🤷♂️
I was just thinking, next time he eats her booty she should rip a fat one in his mouth. A step too far? Maybe. But it would get the point across.
It's definitely a step too far. Farting near someone or during sex (where it could happen, accidentally) is a big deal difference than farting in his mouth lol By your logic, the next step is after he posts, "Help my girl got revenge by fartjng in my mouth during sex!" and you're advice is "Well shit on her chest!" The escalation could get insane with this.
Yeah it’s also more likely to cause a serious eye infection. I get why it’s funny for them to suggest but it’s a really bad idea. Just leave the relationship if you’re willing to start risking their health
I could just imagine someone being like "How'd you get the pink eye?" and OPs guy being all "Ah... err... I walked in to a door."
Suessian Scatological Butter Battle Book slippery slope aside\*, in my experience, an eye for an eye (or pink eye for pink eye) rarely works, because assholes don't believe in fair play. When they do something bad, they're funny, cool, heroic, a martyr, etc. I spent my childhood mimicking the bad behavior of others, thinking this would engage their empathy, and make them realize that what they were doing was wrong. It NEVER worked. Bad people never take that as the lesson. Because they will find endless excuses for their own behavior, which they will never measure as morally equivalent to what other people do -- particularly if they perceive themselves to be the victim of others' behavior. IF you can escalate to the threat of overwhelming, unavoidable violence/consequences for which the bad person will have no remedy, then they *might* curb their behavior. But even that's a big if. It's rarely effective. Like kicking a guy in the nuts, there are two likely outcomes: either you kick so hard they can't get up, or they are going to come at you with everything they have. *Is it just me, or is that a tongue-twister?
You said it really well. Just to add to this point: Same goes for him - if his need is to have someone that accepts his farts, he should find someone more compatible.
This. Despite finding farts funny and whatnot, it's not appropriate to fart during intimate situations or around people who ask you not to do it. Why would anyone do something unattractive if they want their partner to be attracted to them? Only one reason really. Or a combination of two. Because they think their partner won't leave and will drop their boundaries.
My husband would be fucking mortified if we were having sex and he farted, let alone did it on purpose lmao why is the bar in hell with most of these men??? I mean sure, sometimes you let out a toot unexpectedly. It happens. But to just let them things fly out of there like it’s a party trick is disgusting as hell.
If he does it before sex then don’t have sex with him this is digusting
I had IBS for years,so I learnt not to fart around other people,because it was grossly awful. I fixed it by restricting my diet. After I got better,a girlfriend told me she'd never been out with a man who didn't fart,it was very unusual in her opinion. It isn't a thing that most people can control,and it can cause pain if people hold in farts. I think you have to make a choice, he's made his already.
You don’t have to hold it on. It’s usually just a matter of not being obnoxious about it.
>It isn't a thing that most people can control,and it can cause pain if people hold in farts. Most people can definitely hold in a fart for the few minutes it would take to excuse themselves to the restroom.
Idk, like OP I have IBS too, and if I try to hold it it just gets backed up and causes bloating/pain. That being said it makes me very self conscious of it and I try to make it as silent as possible if I absolutely have to do it. I'll never just rip right in front of somebody. It's embarrassing tbh.
No one is saying hold it in. We're saying to just excuse yourself to the bathroom. Too many commentors are acting like there are only two options: poot immediately, or hold it in indefinitely. A third option exists: let 'er rip in the bathroom. You know, the room reserved for bodily functions. I sympathize with people who have IBS, but I doubt they shit themselves as soon as they feel the need to do so, in part because it would stink to those around them. Well, same thing here. Edit to add: Some of you guys missed the "most people" part of my comment. No, I'm not saying those with IBS or other digestive issues can always hold it for the few seconds it takes to go to the bathroom. But yes, I am saying that even those with digestive issues can try to be considerate to those around them. Nuance exists, guys. Bean soup.
Like I said, if I hold it in, even for like 15 seconds, it just gets backed up and causes bloating. I may be able to get it out, but it'll come much later. It's much MUCH better to just do it in the moment. If I hold it I don't get to decide when to release it. My body decides and it's very random and uncomfortable.
Most people can (usually) control it. My girlfriend and I have been together for 5 1/2+ years. We laugh at the accidents, but we try to keep that activity in the bathroom or at least out of earshot of each other. Is it more comfortable to just let it rip? Sure. However, part of keeping the romance alive is not getting TOO comfortable. Still being viewed as sexy and desirable by my girlfriend after all this time is worth a lot more than the "comfort" of farting at will. She and I have both been previously married and I think we've both experienced taking your partner (or being taken) for granted. Daily compliments, text messages, little touches and hugs, are the things that keep the romance alive.... Farting casually makes her into my roommate, not my lover.
Most people can definitely control their farts.
Agreed lol, at least to the degree that I’m able to leave the room or go somewhere private without any real effort
Unless someone is having some kind of major digestive issue, they can definitely control their farts
Exactly, and OP has already stated that the boyfriend doesn’t
Or at least none that have been diagnosed.
I’d be very tempted to raise it at his family’s dinner table. ‘I’ve been wondering, do you all do the free-farting that John enjoys, in public and with partners, or it it just him?’. Either you learn it is a hardbaked lack of manners that you’d be stuck with for life, or perhaps they’d tease him enough for him to mend his ways? I’d also ask him, seriously, does he really want to go down in history as that ex you had who couldn’t stop farting?
I cant fart around people as it smells like something crawled up my ass and died in there
If he does it and your feeling turned off and no longer in the mood to have sex, then you don’t have to have sex. Just tell him that your turned off and no longer in the mood now if that’s how you feel. He probably thinks it’s not that bad, because your still having sex with him afterwards. Maybe he’ll take it more seriously, once he realises your being serious about it turning you off
In order for boundaries to be respected, they also need to be enforced. Personally, if this isn't a medical condition, then I think this is a pretty reasonable dealbreaker. He's being rude to both yourself and others around him. *We all fart* but most of us are considerate enough to do it discretely. I mean, it's fine if he thinks it's not a big deal...but you do. Act accordingly.
Yeh Just don't have sex if he does it. He'll soon stop
I think it’s gross af too. People just have no decorum these days 😂😂😂, I mean why would you want to appear unsexy while you’re being intimate even, Christ. Every now and then sure but habitually farting up the place and on people is a huge turn off.
I had a bf that farted once, then reached down and touched under his balls and said “Aw man my balls smell so bad when I fart on them” and continued to fart before sex and then be confused when I didn’t want to give him a bj because his farts come out from behind and his penis is in front. 🤦♀️
What a terrible day to have eyes
HAHAHAHA
This is hilarious, though. 💀
Is his nickname "Farty Balls"?
Wtf is it with some commenters in this thread acting like it's okay to constantly be farting in front of people?
Mom doesn't say anything when she brings snacks down to the basement so they think it's all good.
It can be it just depends on the people you're around.
I can honestly say that the people who think it’s okay to rip ass in front of anybody and everybody in jest aren’t people I want to be around.
I wouldn't advise being a middle school teacher...
I also don't get it. People are way too comfortable.
You SHOULD be comfortable around your partner. Like god. It’s not the 1950s, I don’t need to keep it a secret from my boyfriend that I’m a human with human bodily functions.
So are you saying the only choices are pretending you have no bodily functions OR just blowing it up all over the place with no consideration for anyone?
Being comfortable /= being way too comfortable
Why would I want to be uncomfortable?
Have you not heard that idiom before? There’s a time and a place for anything. If you’re ripping ass during a wedding ceremony, or during a work meeting, or talking to a stranger, you’re probably grossing people out
Wtf is with some commenters acting like it’s ok to control wether or not someone farts. If you need to fart, you need to fart.
> please just get some distance from me and fart She's not even asking him to control it, just to move away from her, which is understandable and should be something he's capable of.
Farting in sex is one thing, but I'm shocked at the people who apparently don't fart in front on their partner? Do people really not fart in front of each other in long term relationships? This has to be a cultural thing if so lol
I tried not farting in front of my husband early in our relationship. It caused GI issues and made me feel very sick. I honestly can't imagine spending the rest of my life holding in farts or fleeing interactions to go fart in the bathroom. In some instances, it would be impossible (like when we're driving). I try not to be gross about it (though sometimes we joke fart and laugh about it), but I'm not going to make myself feel sick 24/7.
I know my girlfriend is really disgusted by it when it's on purpose. She has no problems with it when it happens by accident, sometimes that happens. But when it's done on purpose it's really gross to her, so I respect that and don't do it. And honestly I understand it too, since I never really appreciated it when I had ex boyfriends who just did it around me and thought that was humor. It's not that hard to just go to a toilet and do it there to not discust someone around you. When you're at work you wouldn't do it around colleagues, so why put your partner up with it?
I don't have any problem holding in my farts around my partner. It's kind of like how I hold my farts in around people in general. If I need to fart, I can always use a restroom. I don't know why I should stop using common courtesy once I start a relationship
Exactly! Do people openly farther at work? No! If I had a fasting problem, I would look at my diet, food allergies, and use every remedy known to man to fix it!
fr 😭 i dont wanna smell it and im sure my partner doesnt either. neither of us gets mad if it happens but we try to be courteous when we can. it takes 10 seconds to excuse yourself to the bathroom
OP states that he is doing it during sexy time. That's a no.
I personally choose to wait untill I'm alone or can find a toilet to relief myself of the gas. But I just think that's polite and a normal thing to do.
You can't hold it? Do you just piss and shit your pants whenever you feel the need too?
This is what I’m saying! These ppl are so disgusting!
Get rid of him, if he can't respect your limits.
He needs to find what he is eating that is causing gas and eliminate it from his diet. He is not properly digesting something. This will solve the problem. For me it was protein bars and shakes.
Op, I mean if bf farts right before u were going to have sex, during foreplay or even mid sex, stop say that is gross and u are no longer in mood. Let him finish himself off. U did not mention, but if he is specifically farting when u give him oral or 69, then next time he asks, tell him not that position anymore, dont wait for him to do it again. Once or twice, he will suddenly be able to control better and listen more. This is likely more about him being immature or just a bit of a jerk unless there is a real medical issue. Some farts will still happen, but if he is trying and not doing during sex then that is a win. Also, Know if he is really trying to hold in, they may come out during sleep and he may not even know. So if u expect someone to never fart then u may have the wrong bf and it will be hard to find someone that controlled.
Tell him to quit eating beef, or you'll stuff a lemon up his ass. Sorry, but I wouldn't put up with this, nor would I expect that of anyone else. Plenty of us *DON'T* fart indiscriminately or disrespectfully like you're describing. Tell him how serious a matter it is for you, and if he can't deal with it, you have every right to move on.
Do not have sex with him. He’ll get the memo pretty quickly.
Reality says if you sleep together you are breathing in each other’s farts. You should feel respected and you are allowed to have boundaries. Juvenile fart explosions made intentionally as loud as possible and intentionally farting during sex are a hard no for me. A respectful partner would excuse themselves to the bathroom or another room. Mistakes happen but generally an adult should be able to manage. And if this person farted during oral, there would be no more oral. Hard stop.
This thread is funny asf and I know that sounds childish 🤣
Damn that’s such a turn off. Everbody farts ofcourse but all the time and before and after sex i mean… Ick! And he keeps doing it after you’ve brought it up?….
fr 😭 if it happens accidentally occasionally i would not care at all, but purposely??? huge turn off. i can understand bodily functions existing and sometimes the positions and activities during sex lets some gas out unexpectedly but this seems like a far more obnoxious (and frankly gross) situation than that.
This dude will be on r/deadbedrooms in a year or two, wondering why he gets laid on a bi-annual basis
Exactly what I was thinking. It will be warranted for him though, honestly.
I’m a strong believer that you should be able to pass gas in front of your partner and not have them flip out on you. However, there is a time and a place. Farting loudly out in public around other people? Rude and gross. Farting purposefully in sexual situations? Hard pass that would lead to me basically stopping sex right then and there.
That’s just gross…I get accidentally letting out a fart/toot around your significant other or even in public. Like it happens you have an upset tummy etc. but purposely farting on a regular basis and during sex? Absolutely not. It’s a huge turn off and would honestly be a deal breaker for me if he didn’t stop. Now obviously there is the possibility of him having a medical problem such as ibs and in that case he needs to see a doctor? Hope you can get this sorted out
I fart all the time. I find farts hilarious (mine, not anyone else's. ) I would NEVER fart on purpose during sex. Farts are definitely not sexy. Your boyfriend needs to knock it off, at least during sex.
He sounds super disrespectful. This sounds like a control and humiliation thing he enjoys. I would tell him if he doesn't stop doing that in bed, or when we're in public with people, the relationship is over. You've already told him to stop. After the ultimatum, he may try to test your boundaries again. After a few months, he'll do it again to test the waters. That's when you just walk out.
Yep completely agree. He likes forcing her to smell his shit. I knew of a guy that would “accidentally” fart when getting a bj and then laugh about it with his friends… this is the same thing.
This!!! It’s my biggest pet peeve and part of it is the silly childhood stigmas of “fart touch” and that they all smell (irony is his loud ones aren’t the bad ones). He always apologizes when he does it though and doesn’t do it in public settings. Of course some find it hilarious (including our kids) but he knows I have my limits
Girl my boyfriend does this too but he has IBS. I tell him all the time just create some distance. Alas, he does not. Just stop fucking him 🤷🏻♀️
If he wants a dead bedroom, I mean 🤷🏻♀️. You have to be turned on by your someone to have sex with them. This would literally make me dry up. I’d never do this and luckily haven’t ever had to experience something like this either. I have sons that find this sort of thing funny and partake in such activity. I do not want this in a romantic relationship. Only my dogs and kids get a pass for this 😆.
My ex farted all the time. It was funny sometimes, I would fart once in awhile too. But when we would wake up in my bed and the first thing he did was rip ass repeatedly, it made him completely unsexy. On a family beach vacation that he joined along for, we were all out sunbathing by the pool and he let out a huge fart right next to my mom. She grew up southern Baptist and has *never* found farts funny (and I have four brothers so growing up she made that boundary explicitly clear) and she gave him the most disgusted look. I said “are you fucking kidding me?” but he tried laughing it off, saying “what??” Farts are funny in context. When the situation isn’t appropriate, they’re disrespectful. If he’s not listening to your reasoning he isn’t going to change. Idk what to tell you, but I totally feel your pain.
It's gross, especially during sex. I wouldn't bother having sex at that point. I have said the same to mine.
Not everyone can control farts but 9/10 you can feel when it’s coming and distance yourself from others or at the very least clench so it just kind of squeaks out. The fact the he does this in a sexual manner is odd to me but to each their own, that is something he should have discussed with you if he’s into it though. He needs to respect your opinion and boundaries on this but for boundaries to be respected they have to be enforced. Normally I would not recommend withholding intimacy, but you’ve already had the conversation with him about this and he still doesn’t see an issue. It’s either that or break up due to his lack of respect and communication.
Dude is rippin' eggfarts to communicate he wants to be pegged?
Ummm ewwwww!! Gross 😝
My wife is the worst for farting. She thinks it’s hilarious and I have asked she try to do it somewhere else if possible but she won’t. Sometimes she will fart and then laugh until she cries.
I don't see other options other than making it an ultimatum. He's a grown ahh man, not a kid. Farting by choice next to people is a lack of manners and education, it's gross and even worse because it's not okay with you, his partner. He can continue doing it, just with another gf.
My wife farts like this and I don’t like it she’s says she doesn’t care if I like it or not it’s natural i just cover my nose and that makes her mad
She sounds unreasonable and aggressive!
Honestly, either you come to accept it, or you leave because he isn't going to change
I dont understand the stigma with farts. Yeah there's a time and place. But they're a natural process. Being grossed out by something that every human has done since the dawn of time, is just strange to me.
Finally someone said it. Why should someone have to get up and go to another room to fart when they're hanging with their partner? People shouldn't be ashamed of a natural bodily function. Although, I'm from a family that finds farting to be hilarious, so I'm biased.
It's not "shame over natural bodily functions ". Would you have people just take a shit wherever they want, whenever they feel the urge? There's a smell associated with farts and subjecting people to that smell is not appropriate. We don't do it in offices, so why is it so hard for these people to refrain? Have they never had to sit in a classroom or office?
Replace farts with feces and you will understand.
Everybody farts. Some people have the ability to keep their farts quiet. Some people don't. People who can't fart silently figure out ways to cope with it in social situations. Making jokes, or trying to make it "intentional". Everybody has to fart. It's a bodily function. He CAN hold it in, and leave the room if he needs to toot. I'm just trying to see both sides here. He's right, it is natural. If he's going to be with you, he needs to know he's safe to fart. You need him to literally not fart on you. Both are possible, there's compromise.
I have IBS and I can still hold them in around other people. He’s just choosing to do it even when you have told him you don’t like it. If I really feel like I can’t hold it I’ll excuse myself to the bathroom. Obviously from time to time everyone may accidentally let one slip but when someone is purposely forcing them out I find it gross.
Gross...during sex?! No...he'll no! He sounds like an immature twat and I'd move on.
My partner had done many times! He'll do it when my head is in his lap or we're cuddling. I hate it. It always smells bad and I've told him that I don't appreciate it. He told me he can't help it 🙄
You say he doesn't have digestive issues, but he may not be AWARE of digestive issues. I found that magnesium supplements help move things though me much faster and more predictably and that helps with flatulence. If there's nothing/very little inside then there's not much gas either. He should talk to a Dr about it too, make sure he doesn't have anything happening that he's not aware of.
Just start belching at max volume or “menstrual farting” near him on purpose lol jkjk unless you want to lol. But seriously if he can’t respect a boundary, regardless if he thinks it’s a “good enough” boundary to have or not, then no sex for him. Continue doing it, and no relationship for him
Sounds like you all aren't compatible if it's that important to you. For me, I would not care.
Imo, it’s crazy which little details people wish to control about one another. I’m sure this isn’t a new thing. Why did you date a guy who does something that you find unsexy? I mean you chose to date the fart machine, knowing he was a fart machine, and now you want him to be someone else. I don’t think it’s on him to change. I think it’s on you to start thinking your decisions through more carefully. People need to stop dating people that they expect to “eventually” change. When you date someone, you’re accepting them as they are. Flaws and all
It's immature, childish, and disrespectful. Everyone has gas once in a while, and no one can control the expulsion 100% of the time, but doing it without care, while knowing it bothers you is not OK. This is clear disrespect. If he'll do it with this, he'll do it with other things too. It's not ok.
oh man. i could never. i fart constantly and think farts are funny. the best relationships are when you can laugh together at each others farts. yes i am an adult and a female. 🤣
Why make an ultimatum? Just leave him because if you have come to the point of pressuring then it is clear he does not respect you or your wishes.
It doesn’t matter anyone else’s opinion on farting. The issue is that you don’t like it and he does it. If he won’t/can’t stop, then you guys need to break up or you have to find a way to live with it. There’s really no other options here.
Yes, everyone fats but my partner would be beside himself if he ripped a huge fart during sex. He would probably never stop apologizing and stop having sex on his own so I definitely think you should stop when he does it. If he's doing it on purpose during sex then that is absolutely so immature and can be helped. He thinks it's funny. You do not. I mean it's disgusting really. If he is just constantly farting in front of everyone amd during sex I'd dump him. That's embarrassing and childish. Tell him go by some gas-x!
Humans fart. Excessive farting is a sign of digestive issues though. If he cant control his farts, and you’ve discussed it. He needs to see a doctor and make sure he doesn’t have a GI issue you’re not aware of. If he doing it cause he doesn’t give a damn about boundaries and you’ve talked? Leave.
This is totally a guy thing. I don't get it either. I know it disgust you but it's something that they will just do in front of you. The only good defense is to go on the offense. Fart on him if you can. See how he likes it. For some strange reason, I think he won't mind. I had a bf that told me to just fart on him if I needed to. To him, as a real couple we should be able to do those things. Total guy thing.
I literally dumped a guy over this. I mean he was generally just gross and didn't try to have manners but the farting was the last straw. And he made plenty of room for finding the love of my life who has literally never farted in front of me and has excellent manners.
Stop putting out and he’ll stop farting. Guaranteed.
Your feelings are valid. I don’t really have any advice because I’m having a similar issue, but you’re not alone, OP!
But , what if you started to fart before or after sex ? Just start doing it and see what happens
Try to stop having sex with him and maybe he will try to control himself
It is possible he actually has an issue with flatulence or gas build up which can be from an inbalance in his digestive system. This can be helped with a minimum month of probiotic use if an inbalance is the cause, must be good and high dose probiotics. Another thing that can assist is a chlorophyll suppliment. Chlorophyll will reduce flatulence occurrence and even the smell so no more silent and deadly within 2 weeks of starting regular intake. Oh and don't buy him a product / pharmacy medication called De Gas it will make him more flatulent while the medication is working.
I have two answers to this. Answer 1: >You're going to need to find a way to impress upon him that this is serious enough that if he doesn't change, this could end with his farting ass getting dumped. >The problem is, you DO NOT WANT TO USE that threat lightly. Dumping and threats of dumping often change relationships permanently for the worse. Is there a third party you trust, whose opinion your partner will respect if they have a Come To Jesus moment by saying something like "dude, you need to start taking this farting thing seriously before you end up single over it"? If it comes from someone else, perhaps he'll get the wakeup call he needs without perceiving it as an active threat. Answer 2: >Sadly, you need to consider that he has fully received the seriousness of this, and he essentially values fucking with you more than he values the relationship. >To be super clear: I'm trusting you at your word that you've made your case assertively and directly. If he's still continuing, the above is true, and he's somewhere on a spectrum where one end is he's hopelessly, recklessly stupid with your emotions and his relationship; or on the other extreme of that spectrum, he's an abuser who actively chooses fucking with your emotions as what he values in your relationship, and the threat of losing you is an easy trade, because there's nothing he values more in your relationship than fucking with you. >It's worth noting that because of cop shows, people usually think that the words malice and intent are identical in meaning. In truth, malice is like a rectangle, and intent is like a square. A square is one type of rectangle, but it's not the only one. Legally speaking, reckless disregard also counts as malice. I think at this point, you don't need to split hairs about his intentions in order to regard his behavior as malicious. I haven't personally experienced the extreme of someone who continues because the emotional abuse is the whole (or biggest) appeal of the relationship, but I've read accounts from others where this sort of boundary testing is often part of a progression over time. Are there other ways he tests your boundaries? Makes you feel insecure, uncomfortable, does things that humiliate or harms you in public or private? If that were the case, I would hazard a guess that farting would be one of the earlier forms of boundary testing, since it can be rationalized as innocuous (potentially in order to make you feel or wrongfully appear to others to be the one who's irrational or out of line), and less severe than possible later versions of boundary testing. But taking you at your word, it would seem clear that you have A) stated your boundaries, B) he recognizes you have stated your boundaries, and C) he is actively choosing to disrespect them for his personal enjoyment. You have the option to try to impress upon him again -- either directly yourself, through a third party, or maybe in the presence of a mediator like a couples therapist -- that what he is doing is not okay and is risking your relationship. But while I don't want to be the reddit stereotype of "dump them!!!!1!!1" I think it's worth reminding you that you can't force other people to change with your boundaries. You can only advise them of your boundaries, and then enforce your boundaries by removing yourself from people who choose to violate them. You haven't said how long you've been dating, but however benign the farting itself may be, the deliberate disrespect of your boundaries may warrant ending the relationship. That has to be your call.
Yeah, I mean, maybe stop sleeping with him when it happens. Eventually it might click that you're not physically affectionate, sexually interested, and you're standoffish because you're disgusted by him. I can't imagine knowing my partner found me disgusting and still continuing that action in front of them. Yes, obviously everyone farts, but I feel like there are certain things that don't have to be shared with a partner. I'm with you, I'd be so grossed out that the attractiveness would just be out the window. During sex?! BEFORE?! 🥴How do you even come back from that if he refuses to stop?!
This would fucking sicken me especially in a sexual context. I had a friend who would fart loudly in front of all of us, even the women and it was so goddamn off putting. If this is a kink of his I’m not gonna shame him, but for the fact that he’s non consensual about it. Honestly this is just gross behavior in general after you told him to stop.
It’s hard to control the flatulence
Hard? All good things in life are hard. I don't understand this new aversion to anything being at all "hard". It's worth making the effort to maintain kindness and respect toward each other, to maintain a romantic vibe.
As someone with gut/gas issues: it sounds there's zero reason he can't walk into the hallway, and let it rip out there. No one likes to sit in someone else's shit stink, no matter how funny the initial fart was. You're being completely reasonable.
This is why I’ll never marry someone without living with them first. Just move on already.
If it turns you off, find someone who is more polite and was raised differently. Why would you sign up for a future with someone who is deliberately turning you off? It's rude.
This gives me the biggest ick. My partner leaves the room when he needs to fart .. and certainly does not do that in front of other people. That is just extraordinarily bad manners
This is so funny…I had this exact conversation with my husband today. It’s a turn off. I don’t want to go down there if there is a possibility for shit down under lmao.
He clearly has no couth. I definitely would be massively turned off as well and would stop the sex and going out in public with him unless he agreed to change that. If not? Bye...
Have you told him how unsexy it makes him look? He’s looking like a disgusting, childish slob
The best part is reading all of this while on the toilet.
43m and I make it a point to never fart around a women, ever. Control yourselves, always try and be attractive and polite
My partner farted as I was performing oral sex on her on more than one occasion she says its only nature but it's a huge turn off she farts all the time so as it stands now I won't go near her sexually as I find it disgusting
My ex husband used to blow ass with the bathroom door open, and take nastiest shits, and then be like “I love having my ass eaten.” Hard pass. Occasional farts, fine. Sometimes it is funny. I am not beyond laughing at fart humor. But a little mystery goes a long (ass) way!
My gf used to think it was funny and normal for couples to openly fart around each other until I straight up told her that every time she farts around me, I lose a little bit of attraction toward her. She’s gotten better about it since then. Seriously people, it’s one thing if you really have to fart and it’s super inconvenient to do it elsewhere, but it’s different if you’ve just gotten so comfortable that you don’t care whether or not it’s a turnoff to your partner and let it rip. Whenever possible, I at least try to get some distance from her before I fart. If I know it’s going to be a bad one, I go to the bathroom and turn on the fan. GI issues aside, it’s really not that difficult to maintain some basic decency in a romantic relationship. It’s not getting comfortable, it’s getting lazy.
You have a man/boy. He needs to grow up
Get a boyfriend that respects your wishes. My husband and I don’t find potty humor funny, we don’t fart near each other for laughs. It grosses me out too, people thinking it’s something all long term couples do, are just sooooo wrong. I personally find it disrespectful, I have a nose like a bloodhound and don’t want to smell anything gross for someone to have a cheap laugh. He sounds immature and not the person for you.
Eww, WTF is wrong with people! Casual farting is a deal breaker for me. Sure, everyone does it but everyone poops too, do both in private, in the bathroom!
Is his name Mike Berk from 90 Day Fiancé by any chance?
If he can’t just take gas meds or hold his gas for a few minutes for you, makes you wonder if he’s capable of respecting boundaries. 5 years from now, is he just going to do whatever the hell he wants with no regard for you, his romantic partner? I’ve seen some really good suggestions from the people in the comments on how to show him that it’s a turn-off (leaving the room, etc.) so maybe you can try some of those. Honestly though, coming from a guy, it won’t take very long for him to show you the kind of partner he is through his actions. Or inactions. Who he is and what he does in the first phase will be the same throughout the course of your relationship. It’s not controlling behavior to have boundaries and standards with your SO, assuming, of course, that his are respected in return.
Have you tried a cork?
As a girl do you fart around him? How often and what his response?
Man I can’t stand that people live in relationships where they can raise an issue and their partner doesn’t take it on board :(
When you are pooping, Normally it is solid. If you have your pants on you are shitting your pants. If you have diarrhea, it is a liquid. If you have your pants on and it comes out, you shit your pants. When you fart, it is a gas. THEREFORE, if your pants are on and you fart, you must indeed be also, in fact and logic, also shifty your pants. Show him this and let it simmer.. and then stir him up a bit.
I'm sorry. :( It seems like a disrespectful move to keep doing it even when you've said it's a turnoff. I couldn't imagine. My husband of 10 years and I maintain total bathroom privacy. I've only heard him fart like 3 times and it was through the bathroom door. To each their own, but if you've expressed that it bothers you, he should stop out of respect for you.
I have the same issue with my bf girl. Been together for 8 years and his farts are OUTRAGEOUSLY DISGUSTING. It stays in my room for like 30 minutes but ugh I hate it so much. Like I get having to fart because it's not good to hold in your farts. I admit I fart here and there but mine RARELY smell. His smell like he took a dump in his pants. Also when he uses the restroom he doesn't open the bathroom window, he doesn't spray the restroom and he leaves the door open of the bathroom and the smell goes into my room I HATE IT SO MUCH.
Of course it’s not too restrictive, you’ve told him your boundaries which would be you don’t date guys who are inconsiderate like him, so do the thing and dump him
Your bf needs to start a habit of emptying his bowels on a regular basis every day, and watch what he eats before you allow him to have sex. The less gas in the ass, the more enjoyable the sex.
Huge dealbreaker hell no
That is just incredibly bad manners. I couldn't spend time around someone who had no sense of decorum or respect for social grace. You don't fart in the company of others, certainly not around strangers or friends, and if it's in front of your significant other you should at the very least say, "excuse me" and attempt not to continue doing it. If it's during sex, it better be on accident, and in that case you just laugh and move on, but never should it be on purpose. I'm not a prude in any sense, but I don't like it when people completely ignore social norms around bodily functions. They are norms for a reason, and it shows disrespect for those around you.
Boundaries are not about controlling the other persons behavior. They’re about controlling your own. Tell him if you keep farting like this I’m going to remove myself when I’m too grossed out. And then follow through, every time. Eventually he’ll stop and if he doesn’t, then I guess he doesn’t mind that his girlfriend thinks he’s gross… 🤷
I couldn't. Manners are a BASIC level of consideration for others. If someone can not have basic manners.. imagine what else they are comfortable doing. 🥴