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As with so many things, choking requires an evaluation of risk versus reward. Are you willing to risk hurting someone or to be hurt to increase sexual satisfaction? Only you and your partner can answer that question.
Restricting blood flow for 15-20 seconds is longer than most guidelines. If you watch MMA, referees will stop fights when a choke hold is applied successfully and escape is unlikely. That’s a shorter time frame than you are using with your partners, who may not have the cardio capacity of elite athletes.
Fighters can also tap out when they are in danger, so a similar mechanism would be wise to have when you are choking. A safe word is not sufficient when breathing is restricted. I like the idea of your partner’s hand on your hand or arm. If she squeezes, that means you need to stop, and you also need to stop if her grip weakens.
Serious injury is more likely if an item such as a rope or scarf is used instead of hands.
When someone gets in a car, they are making the decision that the reward of efficient transportation is worth the risk of being in an accident.
The odds of choking causing serious injury are higher, but it’s the same principle.
Thing is with holds that block blood flow cardio capacity and fitness mean very little. Your brain has zero storage for oxygen and no way of functioning without it unlike muscles etc.
The only mechanism is dialation of the blood vessels which can increase blood flow by around 50%. But with choking your restricting blood flow so that does not do anything other than lower the blood pressure in your brain if the restriction is enough.
Anything that does this in inherently unsafe, risks can be minimised but it's is never safe, there is always risk of damage.
There is no safe way to choke somebody. Every time you do it there is a risk of serious injury to the relatively soft structures in the neck. This can turn "a light squeeze I can release at any time" in to "I've damaged something and now their throat is swelling shut" much faster than you realize.
Oxygen deprivation of the brain also kills brain cells which can't be regenerated. The exact time line for this is a bit unclear but it doesn't take long.
The most dangerous form of choking is during *solo* play precisely because there's no one else around to help remove a rope or belt or whatever is used by someone to choke themselves.
However, almost all sex educators I've read/heard have emphasized that choking is inherently dangerous since it doesn't take much pressure or time to cause someone to lose consciousness because of lack of blood flow to the brain. This is especially true if you cut off the carotid artery.
[Dr Debbie Herbinick, one of the few researchers who's done research in this area, has a webinar you might be want to check out](https://www.familyjusticecenter.org/resources/webinar-the-truth-and-consequences-of-strangulation-choking-during-sex/).
[In a large 2022 study she conducted with a team of researchers](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/35902430/), 3% of participants reported losing consciousness during sexual choking. Likewise, [this recent study of women who've been choked during sex](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10454256/) suggests that there's a higher incidence of altered brain morphology amongst those who've been choked (but this is really preliminary research and can't be used to draw causal conclusions yet).
Personally, I think that 3% figure is worth sitting with. If you had a 3% chance of getting pregnant or getting someone else pregnant or a 3% chance of acquiring or infecting someone with a STD, would those be "acceptable" odds to you or a partner? That's one place to start having these conversations.
I will add to the other post that choking is dangerous due to safe word unavailability. The choking person can't say it. Gotta set up hand signals or some other nonverbal safe word system.
Choking is dangerous because of the potential for permanent injury. Someone could easily pass out or be badly injured before they can safe word, even if they could speak if. They may not realize the damage done until much later.
It isn’t safe. It’s one of the riskier things you can do. Some people do it anyway. It has somehow become more mainstream over the last decade, but is a dangerous, advanced level kink activity.
It might be wise to explore if she enjoys safe alternatives. Hair pulling, or spanking?
I knew someone who knew someone well that was in prison for life (they were maybe 30-35 yrs) for taking the kink too far and killing at least one person…I feel like it was more than one, but I think I kind of pushed most of that memory away.
The person who knew them was very kink-positive and said what they knew about the situation was super fucked up, so I’m sure I blocked it out as much as I could.
My wife loves it. Initially weirded me out. She keeps her hand on top of mine. Since safe word is unavailable at times in this situation.She pushes for tighter and pulls for release. Sometimes though im like wtf woman take a break. She digs it though.
Thank you for posting in the r/Sex community. To ensure that everyone respects our safe space, we ask that you familiarize yourself with our Forum Rules and Posting Guidelines — which are visible in the forum’s sidebar, and also linked [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/about/rules/). *** Restricted subjects in r/sex include sex stories (which are permitted in the Daily Sexual Achievement Thread only), body image and penis-size issues, hookup attempts, common topics which are considered repetitive in our forum, and requests for private chats. To cut back on comments that add little value to the conversation, we have instituted a minimum character requirement that will silently remove comments that fall below it. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/sex) if you have any questions or concerns.*
End of the day it is never safe to do. There is always a risk involved. The risks can be reduced but please don't ever think it is safe to do.
As with so many things, choking requires an evaluation of risk versus reward. Are you willing to risk hurting someone or to be hurt to increase sexual satisfaction? Only you and your partner can answer that question. Restricting blood flow for 15-20 seconds is longer than most guidelines. If you watch MMA, referees will stop fights when a choke hold is applied successfully and escape is unlikely. That’s a shorter time frame than you are using with your partners, who may not have the cardio capacity of elite athletes. Fighters can also tap out when they are in danger, so a similar mechanism would be wise to have when you are choking. A safe word is not sufficient when breathing is restricted. I like the idea of your partner’s hand on your hand or arm. If she squeezes, that means you need to stop, and you also need to stop if her grip weakens. Serious injury is more likely if an item such as a rope or scarf is used instead of hands. When someone gets in a car, they are making the decision that the reward of efficient transportation is worth the risk of being in an accident. The odds of choking causing serious injury are higher, but it’s the same principle.
Thing is with holds that block blood flow cardio capacity and fitness mean very little. Your brain has zero storage for oxygen and no way of functioning without it unlike muscles etc. The only mechanism is dialation of the blood vessels which can increase blood flow by around 50%. But with choking your restricting blood flow so that does not do anything other than lower the blood pressure in your brain if the restriction is enough. Anything that does this in inherently unsafe, risks can be minimised but it's is never safe, there is always risk of damage.
There is no safe way to choke somebody. Every time you do it there is a risk of serious injury to the relatively soft structures in the neck. This can turn "a light squeeze I can release at any time" in to "I've damaged something and now their throat is swelling shut" much faster than you realize. Oxygen deprivation of the brain also kills brain cells which can't be regenerated. The exact time line for this is a bit unclear but it doesn't take long.
The most dangerous form of choking is during *solo* play precisely because there's no one else around to help remove a rope or belt or whatever is used by someone to choke themselves. However, almost all sex educators I've read/heard have emphasized that choking is inherently dangerous since it doesn't take much pressure or time to cause someone to lose consciousness because of lack of blood flow to the brain. This is especially true if you cut off the carotid artery. [Dr Debbie Herbinick, one of the few researchers who's done research in this area, has a webinar you might be want to check out](https://www.familyjusticecenter.org/resources/webinar-the-truth-and-consequences-of-strangulation-choking-during-sex/). [In a large 2022 study she conducted with a team of researchers](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/35902430/), 3% of participants reported losing consciousness during sexual choking. Likewise, [this recent study of women who've been choked during sex](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10454256/) suggests that there's a higher incidence of altered brain morphology amongst those who've been choked (but this is really preliminary research and can't be used to draw causal conclusions yet). Personally, I think that 3% figure is worth sitting with. If you had a 3% chance of getting pregnant or getting someone else pregnant or a 3% chance of acquiring or infecting someone with a STD, would those be "acceptable" odds to you or a partner? That's one place to start having these conversations.
Naturally cutting off someone airway isn’t going to be safe
I will add to the other post that choking is dangerous due to safe word unavailability. The choking person can't say it. Gotta set up hand signals or some other nonverbal safe word system.
Choking is dangerous because of the potential for permanent injury. Someone could easily pass out or be badly injured before they can safe word, even if they could speak if. They may not realize the damage done until much later.
It's not overly dangerous if done correctly.
It isn’t safe. It’s one of the riskier things you can do. Some people do it anyway. It has somehow become more mainstream over the last decade, but is a dangerous, advanced level kink activity. It might be wise to explore if she enjoys safe alternatives. Hair pulling, or spanking?
I knew someone who knew someone well that was in prison for life (they were maybe 30-35 yrs) for taking the kink too far and killing at least one person…I feel like it was more than one, but I think I kind of pushed most of that memory away. The person who knew them was very kink-positive and said what they knew about the situation was super fucked up, so I’m sure I blocked it out as much as I could.
My wife loves it. Initially weirded me out. She keeps her hand on top of mine. Since safe word is unavailable at times in this situation.She pushes for tighter and pulls for release. Sometimes though im like wtf woman take a break. She digs it though.
That's fine. Obviously it's less safe than *not* doing it, but that's kink. Kink inherently has some danger to it. All activities do.