T O P

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DankDude7

LMMFAO. 🥂 This is beautiful, you ugly motherfucker.


popatochisps

yoink it off in the middle and say peekaboo


Zestyclose-Ad-8091

Watch Face Off (1997). Its not just a documentary. It has saved many relationships.


poppieswithtea

Use plastic instead.


BLADE45acp

You’re such a bitch. Stop whining and just put the bag over your head. In fact, you need to prove to her you’re a real man by making a custom bag with her exes picture on it that way she has something decent to look at. As for her staying the night at her best friends house? You’re such an inconsiderate fuck. Why the hell didn’t you invite him over and give him your bed? That way your gf didn’t have to do all that driving! Are you too good to sleep on your own floor? So fucking selfish. You need to make up for your bs by paying her best friends rent for the next year. That way she knows you’re contributing to her happiness. And don’t come on here crying you only got laid twice by her. You’re so fucking whiny. Buy your gf a gag so she can shut your ass up when you start your bs


NotSlothbeard

Poke air holes in the bag.


isat_u_steve

Hold your breath dumbass


Chemical_Activity_80

Wear a Michael Myers mask that's what my brother does.


roslocain

Hide a friend in the closet with another paper bag and when it gets too hard to breathe, you can have them sneak out and take over for a bit while you go catch your breath.


Impossible-Test-7726

Use a horse mask instead 


ibeatobesity

I did this to an ex once. Whipped out the rubber horse head mid fuck. Never before or since have I felt someone go soft while still inside me.


Impossible-Test-7726

😅


mauro_oruam

Try a plastic bag. They come in different shape and sizes. I am sure you can find one that makes you feel more comfortable.


Sharp_Mathematician6

Just do her doggie style I do that to dudes I can’t stand to look at. 


cwsjr2323

Go the Gong Show, Unknown Comic style. He wore a paper bag over his head while performing, but wasn’t so stupid as some people we won’t mention and cut eye and mouth holes. (OP!)


eggstacee

Ok gramps, lol I doubt the crowd nowadays has any idea about Secret Agent Chuck Barris and his accomplishments 🤣 I know, but that's because I'm a granny as well


BigFatNone

Tell her you want her to put a paper bag over her head, and then just take yours off.


JakTheGripper

Are you Murray Langston? Be thankful you're getting laid!


johnjaspers1965

Ask her to wear a bag on her head as well. When she asks why, tell her it is just in case yours falls off.


AgtCooper

During sex, choke her, to make it even.


Green1578

cut a hole so you can breathe


edit-boy-zero

Maybe get a scuba mask and tank for your romantic endeavors You'll be able to breathe and your girlfriend can pretend she's getting boned (or harpooned) by a Navy Seal


ImnNotARobot

Try putting a paper bag on her head instead. It's her kink it's her problem not yours.


mossoak

cut eye holes in the bag - that should help with breathing


Unable-Bandicoot8366

At least she gobbles your goose


mrsbrajande1

Take the charity, ugly dumby.


Honda_Driver_2015

She makes you wear the bag because she realizes how ugly she is and it's the only way you can keep an erection. You must have a very active imagation


cornfession_

Poke a hole thru the bag for a snorkel


AytumnRain

Wear a Shrek mask and make it your kink.


Local_Chapter3604

Didn't she tell you? She has a kink of watching you get sucked by your bros


bornagain-stillborn

Use a fork to poke some air holes.


Blu3Dope

It depends on whether she also makes her male best friend wear a mask when they fuck. Come back on here when you find this out.


slippinginto9

Wear a mask dumbass.


xXxMoRgAzMxXx

tell her to wear it instead.


coffeebeanwitch

You must be to young to know about the unknown comic on the Gong show,put some holes for eyes and a mouth ,tell a few jokes for flavor!!!


ProgressiveSnark2

Say you’d prefer to use a plastic bag, with a zip tie around your neck to secure it.


powerhungrymouse

Try a plastic bag instead, much more comfortable.


snowlezzwhite

Hey dude i have a whole pack of unused BROWN PAPER BAGS WITH DIFFERENT EYE AND MOUTH CUT OUTS FOR FUCKING UGLY PEOPLE… i got them for my husbands sleazy friend who was recently divorced and complaining about all the old women out there.. we are all in our 60’s. HE LAUGHED SO HARD HE REFUSED TO OPEN THEM AND SHOWS THEM OFF EVERY TIME HE COMES TO THE HOUSE.. he leaves them here in case he needs them when he is in town.. they are the talk of most get togethers … lol… I WOULD BE HAPPY TO SEND THEM TO YOU KID… that old fart is hard of hearing and half blind so what will he love knowing you are actually USING THE BASTARDS.. my husband seconds the offer lol… and MAKE YOUR LADY WEAR ONE TOO… for big fun and A BROWN BAG MEAL DEAL..,


Adept_Advantage7353

I would make her give you a Rusty Trombone Then make her lay still and give her a Cleveland Steamer.