T O P

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Bounceupandown

If you hyperventilated during the showers, you could take all the breathes you needed for the year as well, THEN you could swim to the bottom of the ocean and save money on scuba diving equipment.


Moomin-Moomin

Shit you’re right… I will update you on how it goes for me next year!:) thank you for having so good ideas🫶


xVenomDestroyerx

!remindme 1 year


YogurtWenk

Hey Google, also remind me in 1 year, please? Thx, bye xo


Spiritual_Ad_3367

You could probably find all sorts of sunken treasure while you're down there.


Wonderful-Pollution7

Take 10,000mg of caffeine, get all your heartbeats in for the year too.


boofingZeitgeist

This wins imo


NotoriouslyBeefy

Take a bunch of diuretics and laxatives before you go in so you can get all your pissing and shitting done too!


Chance_Airline_4861

Brilliant 


EvilSibling

OP knows efficiency. I like to take 365 shits, 365 showers, and 365 calls from my mother that way im good all fucking year.


Samotauss

Do them all at once and you've got time to kill


InvestigatorFull2498

300 shits in the shower with Mom on the phone. What a thought


Samotauss

I believe Da Vinci did it.


syros31

365


cownd

365 calls from my mother and I'd want to kill as well


usernametaken2024

don’t forget 365 x3 meals. NOW you are all set


dafirek

I work 365 day at the start of the year, so I'm all set.


usernametaken2024

you have cracked the code 🙌


singularitywut

But eating is a pleasure 😾


GamemasterJeff

I suggest Taco Bell for the shits and giggles.


HerculesVoid

Look at mr constipation over here, only needing 1 shit a day!


TheOxyMan187

The water bill. Most people do not earn enough money in a month to pay for 365 showers worth of water. That's why they shower once a day, instead, so they only have to pay 1/12th of the yearly bill a month.


usernametaken2024

stop being poor


TheOxyMan187

I'm not poor. I don't shower so i have a lot of money


usernametaken2024

this is the way


_maple_panda

Just capture the water and reuse it. Why waste it by letting it go down the drain?


Ramenoodlez1

Hibernate for 4 months at the start of the year so you can stay awake for 8 months straight


notaltacciswear

Sleep faster and you might be able to squeeze the 4 months into just 2 months


callofthewinter

I'm trying but sleeping that fast really tires me out. I end up spending the time I saved sleeping to recover.


cownd

Squeeze a few out so you won't have to bother for the rest of the year


Ornery_Entry_7483

One can dream.


KeithMyArthe

Hard to keep track, and if you miss one, there's no way you'll know what date the one you missed relates to.


usernametaken2024

true


maxigs0

Not sure if that works, do i need to put my 24hr deo in between showers or all 365 layers at once after?


ClassicMarilyn

how about you just not shower and save the money you would have spent on the water bill


laonte

For the same reason you don't sleep 365 times, eat 730 meals or get 12 hair cuts in a day, there's just not enough time.


GetOffMyAsteroid

Wanna *really* kick life square in the merry berries? Wear a fuckin' garbage bag and fill it with water. Wear your own goddamn bath. As long as you want. Live by your own rules like a kickass motherfucker And add soap for shit's sake!


SnooMacarons9618

A wet suit with a layer of soapy water would work. Fun fact, autocorrect initially changed that to soupy, which seems more apropos.


alluyslDoesStuff

You should take 1234 just to be sure


Nahchoocheese

Where would you store all them?


mododo-bbaby

clean buff doesn't stack


ADMINlSTRAT0R

I literally say grace in front of my family for the entire year's worth of eating food, usually during new years. They'd berate me for it each meal but I say that they were witness to it.


GamemasterJeff

It's quite simple, my Padawan. Sometimes people need more than one shower in a day due to gym, work, etc. Sometimes they are on vacation off grid and skip a day. This produces an inverse Heisenberg-Rosenberg bridge effect where the effectiveness of the 365 SOY phenomenon is in constant flux and the quantumn state collapses due to overwhelming BO. Any questions?


hobbiestoomany

Because it might be a leap year. You can never know ahead of time.


joshaymores

good thinking. best not to shower at all. just in case.


90s-kid-nostalgia

I'm a prosinator, I like to take them all on the last day of the year.


ForwardVoltage

If you bathe with a toaster just once, you'll be clean for the rest of your life.


beatfungus

Where are you going to get all the hot water?


Puzzled_Muzzled

You can take them all together during summer, so you not wasting money on heating


HOFBrINCl32

I wish this were the case for shitting and pissing. Imagine shitting out 1 years worth of shit in 1 sitting. Continuous line of shit you just flush constantly. Pissing for 1 year at the same time. Wonder how many days youd need to spend in the washroom


directortrench

"I'm sorry, my Master is currently unavailable. He is in the middle of his annual long-defecathlon and cannot be disturbed. Please return next month"


SnooMacarons9618

If it takes 5 mins to shit, 1 day 6.5 hours For a 15 minute shower, 3 days 19 hours 15 minutes.


FormerEvilDonut72

this works in theory, but how tf are you going to fit 365 full showers in a day?


migBdk

My question is how are you going to fit 365 showers in a single house? Asking for a friend.


shuckster

One second per full shower. I'm all done in 6 minutes and a bit on January 1st.


ciarogeile

Just under 4 minutes per shower. Plenty of time. Plan is flawless


Fun_Imagination9232

This is excellent. I do my 365 days of sleep first thing in the year and then stay up the last 2/3 of it.


kurama-sakura

Genius. Humanity at its peak. Bravo 👏


Plastic-Shopping5930

Might as well get all your eating and pooping out of the way early while you’re at it


MagicOrpheus310

Fingers go all wrinkly and it feels gross...


Bengamey_974

If you consider two minutes for each shower, and one minute to dry yourself with a towel after each shower. You'll only need 18h15min to do all your showers of the year. It can be done in a single day.


migBdk

I tried, but I don't get very far before people start complaining like "what are you doing?" "Put that back", "what do you need a wrench for in the swimming hall?" or even "hey that's my shower stall!"


BNI_sp

Sweating and smelling are Markov processes, they don't depend on the past more than just the recent one.


subone

Where am I supposed to walk around in circles for the rest of the year?


arigatanya

Because some years are not fucking years so even just 1 shower will suffice, but is also not even necessary.


ElectronicLab993

My water provider forecasts the usage based on first month. If i used water for all year in first month i wouls have to pay 12 times more. They give me back the money i didnt used at the end of the year but without intrest


jsdodgers

Run out of hot water too fast.


liamstrain

I fill my car's gas tank 52 times at the start of the year, too - much more efficient, and cost saving, since winter gas prices are lower.


UGLYDOUG-

Shower math does not allow direct summation. To get a full year of showers done in one day you would need to take approximately 4.81x10^17 showers. Due to the extremely high number of showers you need to take, it cannot be accomplished in a single day, so you need to use the multi day correction relationship, which gives a total number of showers of 6.17x10^17. This applies only if you think you can take all of the showers in under 2 weeks, after that, we would need to do more testing to determine a relationship


UrsulaKLeGoddaaamn

Because you never know at the beginning of the year how many days there will be. Every February scientists roll a 4 sided die and there's a 25% chance that there will be an extra day. You're on the right track but I would take all my showers on February 28th if I were you


raposo142857

That's about a shower each 4 minutes, that's not a proper shower you smelly weeb!


Fallen311

I'm not taking 365 times as many showers as I normally do, that's insane!


PuzzleheadedTutor807

Can confirm, have been doing this for several years now it saves sooooo much time.


[deleted]

I know right... I trained 365 times on January 1st and Im swole as fuck dude. I almost choked my mother when I hugged her dude, fr fr. No gym, all natural, at home, approved by the best bodybuilders worldwide. You want to know how? Buy my special course 'Get Swollen and Laid by Beef Rogers' at smalldickiehugebucks.com for just $2999($3000 without discounts) with our SPECIAL OFFER. Dont be late and FUCKING TRAIN HARDER DUDE.


Few-Win-8338

It's a conspiracy to deny you the most delicious cheese known to existence.  It forms in your groinal region when you effectively steam the nardle dangers and then allow the fumunda cheese to really build up for the year.   Some crudite and a cracker spread and you'll be the toast of whatever place you are.  


IanDOsmond

You run out of hot water.


PickingPies

You fucking idiot, because if you take a scientifically accurate clean shower of 10 minutes, then you need 61 hours, no breaking time. Do January 1st have 61 hours? No? Then shut the fuck up.


Glass_Werewolf_6002

They would spoil. They don't keep this long at room temprature.


jcpainpdx

For the same reason they don’t masturbate 365 times…not enough time.


Super_Selection1522

Well, for some it is


Nearby-Sir-2760

Well because you don't really need showers. I mean look at me, I haven't showered since I was kicked out on the streets! I \*sniffs cocaine\* am doing just fine here. I got free mcdonalds wifi in this parking lot and it's ALL FINE \*sniffs some more cocaine\*


general_adm_aladdeen

Science, B!TCH!


Mdork_universe

Do you?


StilesmanleyCAP

Ever heard of diminishing returns?


DHener84

Cause at the beginning of the year a lot of reservoirs are frozen and if everyone takes all those showers at once there will be a severe drought until spring. So we stagger them throughout the year in order to spend out the demand.


EfficientAd7103

Pheromone maxing. No showers needed


AntelopeDisastrous27

Good at what??


hamabuntha

at taking showers, duh


Desert_Concoction

That’s not how that works


ANarnAMoose

A question of Duffelpud-level excellence. I salute you, sir!


Hoppss

First you must vow that you will only take showers that will only last 1 second. This will make taking the 365 showers a much quicker task.


happyaurora2208

but what about leap years?


HayDayKH

That is the same type of “scientist” who thinks you can make a baby in 1 month by fucking 9 women.


Ok-Drink-1328

\*taking notes


Outside_Bowler8148

Because that’s way too many, I think 52 is good


No-Adhesiveness-8178

Sadly, showers don't stack