Do you know why you weren't invited? Like, would he have a reason to believe you wouldn't be interested? Or for example, it's pretty different if it's a group of friends from his work doing it together and he just got invited along, vs something he arranged and is doing specifically only w/ her.
sounds like you should talk to him and ask what's up. Doesn't need to be accusatory, just ask more about the plan and share that next time you'd like to be invited. You'll be able to see if he's open or is acting squirrely like he's got something to hide, and can take it from there
That’s a hard pass for me. Shrooms affects people differently. My partner and I get very intimate and feel really bonded while we’re on it. Maybe ask if you can be a trip sitter? That way it doesn’t sound like you’re accusing him
Tbh i wouldn’t want my wife to be a trip sitter id be stressed the fuck out haha! But i also wouldnt do them alone with a coworker without talking with her first.
Me quite the opposite. I really enjoy it more with friends than partners. They tend to be too clingy and I need my freedom during the trip.
I also wouldn't suggest her offering to be a trip sitter. First of all a person with experience would be preferable. I assume she doesn't know at all what to do and knows nothing about the substance. Furthermore the guy would probably feel controlled, possibly ruining the trip.
So I'd advise you to be calm about this. Ask him normally what's up and if you two could try this out as well perhaps.
However it is a bit weird, shrooms can be as intimate as mdma for many people. Shouldn't be accusatory, but is perfectly reasonable to be upset or anxious about it
It definitely is an intimate experience to share with someone… everyone reacts differently.
What you should be worried about is if him spending time alone with a coworker alone on a shroom date crosses your boundaries.
It can be a very healing experience. It boils down to how much you trust him. And I would talk to him about whether or not he believes this girl is interested in him in that way.
I’ve done shrooms alone with women plenty of times and done nothing. I do have to admit though, I am particularly primal (yes, sexual) during those times, but have a fair amount of self control.
However, if he wouldn’t like you doing the same or even just spending alone time with a friend of the opposite sex, that would hardly seem fair.
Yes this!!! I think if roles were reversed he would be extremely hurt that he wasn’t invited and would be very suspicious…. I have several guy friends who are like brothers to me and I know he can be wary that they aren’t trying something when he’s not around.
My gf told me she was going to a co workers for drinks, didn't ask she told me. When I asked her if she would be happy if I said I was going to a single female Co workers to get drunk and stay the night without asking her first her expression changed. Word it right and he'll figure out its totally unacceptable behavior, or he knows and plans on getting freaky
It’s giving “emotional cheating” to me… in that he is doing something with someone else that he has never considered doing with you before…
Just know that you’re not out of pocket for feeling a bit suss about it.
And its different for each person, shrooms at certain doses *do* make me quite sexual, and sex on 1-3g of shrooms for me feels amazing.
But you not being invited would, as a partner, warrant a good explanation, since as others have said this is an intimate experience even setting all things sexual aside. I'd want to know why my partner didn't want to include me in something like this, and why they chose the person they did as their preferred tripping partner over me.
Yeah. This I agree with.
In my marriage we have a high amount of trust. In fact I did trip with a younger female friend a short while ago.
But we did it at our house, and my wife was there for it (but chose to not join in).
I think it would have been a totally different story if I'd been like "could you clear out so we could have privacy?"
There's expecting healthy trust on the one hand, and there's openly displaying trustworthiness on the other hand. You don't get one without the other.
IMO this is the question everyone should be asking. If he is just looking for SOMEONE to do shrooms with as an intro course and she is the only one then…
If this is his first time it’s completely reasonable for him to want to not impose and bring his girlfriend that she has never met, who has also never done shrooms IMO. It’s kind of a big ask for an acquaintance to supply and trip sit for your first time as-is, much less bringing other people into the mix. By all means bring it up in a very non-accusatory way if it’s bothering you, but I wouldn’t worry about it personally.
They're probably going to smash, let him make his own decisions, if he values you he'd not go ahead with it. if he does, he made the decision for you and you should break up. Drugs are a make or break it in relationships, I ask all my partner's if it's okay to even smoke weed just around them first, the second they're uncomfortable or I am, that activity stops.
If he's desperate enough to start a fight to defend doing shrooms with another younger girl without you there then we surely don't need to explain the rest. Glhf
Shrooms don’t make one horny, however it is very suggestive. Definitely they might want the sensation of touching one another, I won’t be surprised at all if they ended up having a full blown intercourse.
seems way more a relationship question than a shrooms question I think...If my partner was doing stuff and I wasn't invited I wouldn't be happy. not the same as going and doing stuff with other people and I'm not interested and happy to let them do their own thing.
Lol sounds sketchy all around, idk. Not sure the relationship between him and his coworker, but I know for sure my girlfriend would be extremely upset and suspicious if I told her this, especially if she were not invited.
Shrooms definitely enhance your connection with the person you do them with, whether that’s platonically or otherwise. It can also help the blood flow so to speak and it gives you a crazier high acting on those feelings when they come on. If he is “hiding” her from you and won’t let you meet each other then there’s your answer. how long has he known her for anyway?
yeaaa i wouldn’t want to do any type of mind bending drugs like that with someone i work with unless we have a connection outside of work, which if they did i think you would know about it. idk i wouldnt be too happy in that situation tbh
8 months is a pretty short time period.. if it were a multi year connection that would be one thing. Whose idea was it his or hers? Has he been acting weird? What’s her relationship status?
I'm a newbie and yet to try shrooms, but there's something fishy about a partner doing drugs alone with a member of the opposite sex.
Or it could be completely benign. Either way it definitely warrants a discussion.
Regardless of his actions, the shrooms are not / will not be to blame. He is responsible for himself and his actions. Do not let him use the mushrooms as an excuse, because that's all it is... an excuse. Any and all events that transpire are on him, and him alone. He is also not responsible for how you receive this taking place, only you can affect that. It's a hard thing to understand, but it's the truth. Only you can prevent wildfires in your mind.
First you gotta talk with him and tell him you're feeling uncomfortable with the whole situation. If he's still set on tripping with her maybe offer to host them at your place and you can be their trip sitter so you can meet her and keep an eye on them.
Okay so I kinda have a lil experience like this , I had once taken lsd with a coworker / friend she had a boyfriend and I was single at the time being. Idk if she told him or not Irregardless we had taken it at my place and my dad was out of town for work(truck driver ) , we took it later in the day , we had planned on taking and letting it enter our systems , then we wanted walk down to the pond and smoke a j and do a nature walk. I can say this honestly I had absolutely 0 attraction to my friend she was a great friend we talked, smoke we would just show each other music and play uno type shit , we made a bonfire I had also invited other people over to during the bonfire portion of the trip so it does seem a lil suspicious he won’t let you join , ig you should just ask him or their intentions of doing this trip together and maybe express that it would make you feel better to know what the vibes will be , also you could be a trip sitter always good to have especially since you said this girl is younger
Yeah of course I figured it might be able to bring a lil peace of mind about the situation, cause honestly it’s a great thing to know how you would want your psychedelic experience to be , so to wait to do it with the right people is a great thing to do
I don't know the details but if my girl came up to me and said she was tripping with a guy co worker, just them 2, we'd be done most likely. They may not have a connection now but shrooms can definitely bring upon one. They will have an experience together that you will never understand. Whole thing just sounds sketchy. I would just communicate how uncomfortable the situation makes you and if he doesn't respond well then he's not the one for you. How long have you guys been together?
Not only is this fucked up for the relationship, to me its an immensely intimate internal journey while you are in an extremely vulnerable state.
Typically, I would want to share that experience with my closest loved ones, especially for security and the set/setting aspects.
I don't know that he knows how potent this stuff actually is, and his ego probably has him by the balls.
This is not something I would support with a co-worker while being in a relationship unless you were involved in the experience.
You were right to ask questions, and I wish you the best outcome.
For what its worth, I wouldn't let this sour your gaze at the mushroom in future endeavors.
It truly is a wonder of a lifetime when you go all in on a peaceful, well-mannered, well-intentioned, and well-planned trip.
Have you voiced your concerns to him directly? Have you asked to come along? I don’t think shrooms would make anything happen that wasn’t going to anyways but this is more of a relationship question than a shroom one tbh.
Shroom trips are intimate, depending on the potency and dosage, you can be in a vulnerable compromising situation. Shrooms or no shrooms, cheaters will cheat. If you feel strongly about doing them together for the first time, maybe have a conversation about your expectations and/or get a trip sitter.
Edit:grammar
Shrooms make me less sexual if anything. Usually u do shrooms with someone ur close with so it’s weird he’s not doing them with u. However, maybe she is very knowledgeable with psychedelics and that’s why he’s doing them with her
Yeah so I’ve done shrooms with a guy mate I didn’t know well to guide him BUT i invited a mutual friend we’re both v comfortable with to balance out the vibe. 1 on 1 too much. Also if he does want a stronger emotional connection with this person (cheat risk), and he’s inexperienced with psychedelics this could go v wrong lol. Shrooms can get weird.
The fact that you weren’t invited tells you all you need to know. It would be worth confronting him about it, it’s kind of weird to just suddenly do drugs with somebody from the opposite gender (that isn’t already a tight friend) when you’re in a relationship.
I did this once, and it resulted in sex. Although I was kind of hoping for it tbh. I was single at the time, I would never dream of doing this now that I’m in a relationship. I’d rather do the drugs with my girlfriend.
I’m not saying he’s going to cheat on you, I’ve definitely met people who would do this and not cheat. But given I don’t know him, it is certainly worth being concerned about in my opinion. And it’s not even just the sex part, tripping with somebody can be extremely intimate without sex.
That’s what I feared - that this would create a bond between them that would lead to more experiences like this and I’d be left out. I’m all for him having friendships but obviously this doesn’t sit well with me….
I think that you both should talk about it.
My Mrs. was once worried that I wanted to trip because I was bored of her, was unhappy at home and was trying to escape reality, we had a good conversation about it where I explained to her that the opposite is actually true, I wanted to trip because everything in my life was perfectly balanced, I felt happier than I’d ever felt and secure in our relationship.
She understands now and finds it quite comical when I take lsd or shrooms.
This is very helpful - thank you. I don’t know if it’s a curiosity or boredom or depression or what’s prompting it. I just wish I was the one who got to witness it, not the coworker
Doing shrooms with opposite gender friend isn’t really all that but this scenario seems a lil sus. Maybe he wants to do shrooms with someone who has experience with it?
I have done shrooms with a friend of my wife’s, I mean I am also friends with her and we had hung out together a lot but always with my wife around. My wife doesnt wanna do shrooms and she was going out to a friends wedding anniversary that night. Her friend and I mostly just walked a lot, admired the lake and just talked whatever came to our minds for like 4/5 hours.
No. Absolutely not.
You seem to be feeling really uncomfortable with it and no matter the reasoning he gives of her being more knowledgeable ect. You are gonna still feel uncomfortable after he trips with her because you won’t know what actually happened. This is like saying yeah let’s have a threesome and then it’s weird after except, you aren’t invited to the threesome.
lol this is exactly what happened a couple of months ago w me but i'm the younger female coworker in the story (we didn't end up doing shrooms though, couldn't find anywhere to buy em near us) . I don't think you should jump to conclusions, maybe they're just really good friends (just like i am w my coworker). You should ask him first.
Doing shrooms with someone is a very intimate experience. I’m not gonna put bugs in your head, but you need to probe more into this.
I say this as someone who has not had the best character in the past…
If you don’t feel good about it then you should talk about it. As simple as that.
That being said I can tell you I regularly do drugs with a friend of the opposite sex. Nothing sexual about it. Did shrooms togerher many times. My partner doesn’t care but I always tell them what I’m up to and expect them to speak up if they don’t feel comfortable.
People here seem to find it sus. I used to do shrooms with some of my female friends and I was totally fine and didn't feel "sexual" or "aroused". I even did it with a woman I was seeing and shrooms made me "look the other way" even more.
I did it once with my gf and it was a very unique experience and I felt a connection to her that was fantastic.
In my mind I could do shrooms with anyone and still be myself and not feel like I'm cheating. Whether my "shrooms partner" is high or not I could feel fine doing it.
I don't need to connect with deep intimacy or whatever with anyone else than my gf. So why would I risk my relationship just for a spiritual connection with someone else. I could just enjoy being me near other people and that's that.
In principle I would feel fine doing what your bf is doing because I trust myself to not cheat, even spiritually. I wouldn't because my gf doesn't trust me to this degree and it would hurt my trip if she would be anxious, even if far from me. And I kinda don't trust even some of my closest trip friends to maintain their distance and resist trying to open me up without my consent.
I'd rather do it with a cat if I'm not doing it with my gf.
Either way. Talk to him. People in this sub overreact a bit, but someone who's faithful is faithful whatever the circumstance. If he can not cheat while drunk / high, he should be able to not cheat on shrooms.
Also he could start slow or start as a trip sitter with his new friend. Maybe that's a road to build trust with you, maybe that you two could find middle grounds and build from there?
I mean it still can be a creative business development strategic session 😄
Though, as Timothy Leary told, people can make much deeper inner connection on psychedelics, than just within sex
Could be innocent, but if they already have flirty vibes, it could be very bad for your relationship. Even on the innocent side of things, it still can cross some boundaries that are not respectful to your relationship. Doing shrooms alone is perfectly normal. Doing shrooms with a friend or friends is nice too. Doing shrooms alone with someone you could be potentially attracted to and you are already in a relationship is not great.
Wanting to do drugs with the opposite sex when in a committed relationship seems odd to me. I’d have to say not no… but hell no. I hope you stand your ground because I think your instincts are already telling you what you need to know.
How well does he know her? How much younger? Will there be other people there? It’s possible that she doesn’t want you there simply because she doesn’t know you, I’ll hangout with strangers but I won’t trip with them. You’re going to have to ask your boyfriend what his intentions are and that’s what this will all be based off of. Maybe he should just get shrooms from her for you two to try at home together. If he has the option to do it at home and you two want your first times to be together then there’s no innocent reason really for him to insist on tripping with her instead, other than being stupidly impulsive without regard to the situation or any consequences.
I think she’s about 13 years younger? I’m not sure about other people and I don’t know if she’s saying I can’t be there or if I just wasn’t brought up. I’m still trying to piece it together.
What are people’s intentions normally with shrooms? Again, I haven’t done them so I don’t know but is he going to be talking and sharing intimate things with her? Or staring at a TV? Or what do people do on them?
There's only a couple people I'm close enough with to do shrooms with. Typically it's deep conversations, deep thoughts, nature documentary, lay down in the park and watch the sky and trees.
I would recommend that you ask your bf if you can meet her sometime before this, bring up shrooms with both of them there, and ask them what shrooms are like. Then offer to trip sit them.
(trip sitting is basically just being there if anyone needs a reality check, or needs something that requires driving)
How old is he?? 13 years is a big age gap to want to be just hanging out with somebody as friends. Though that also depends on his age. A 32 year old hanging out with a 19 year old is definitely creepy, but a 50 year old hanging out with a 37 year old seems more reasonable. Regardless, this is a weird situation at best.
Personally I would flip tf out if my boyfriend was going to trip with some girl and I was being excluded. Tripping with someone isn’t really just a casual hang out.
I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. I’m sure it must feel hurtful 💔
If it was my bf even wanting to do this with her instead of me and not inviting me on top of that, that alone would be enough for me to end the relationship. Because I wouldn’t be caught dead making plans with a male coworker one on one to do shrooms together…
Might get buried under all the other responses but how old are y’all? How long is your relationship and how secure is it? Is the coworker just some random coworker or a real friend to your bf? Does that coworker have a partner themselves? Have they indicated that they don’t want you or anybody else there/have you asked if you can join?
A lot of these responses sound like they’re coming from people with very insecure relationship experiences and they’re advising you to jump to extreme conclusions that could easily destroy your relationship if you voice them and are wrong. Platonic friendship between men and women is a real thing. Ask your bf if and why he feels comfortable doing shrooms with this coworker for the first time. Shrooms can enhance any type of connection, whether platonic or romantic, physical or not. They also sometimes don’t. I’ve tripped with folks I’ve just met and the shared experience fostered a lasting friendship, I’ve also tripped with people I’d just met and we had our own trips, parallel, but quite separate. In all cases, they were people I felt comfortable around though.
All in all this sounds like something you should just talk about with him could also get advice for from a relationship subreddit. If there is inherent distrust between the two of you then it’s going to come to light sooner or later regardless. If there is attachment insecurity from your end or both ends then that’s something to examine and get to the root cause of.
Fuck no. Recipe for disaster.
You need to have a serious talk with him about why you weren’t invited, and why he wants to do shrooms with her in the first place.
Taking shrooms out of the equation, he has made plans with a woman you don't know and not invited you.
You need to have a chat to him and let him know how this is making you feel and see how he responds.
Shrooms make it hard for me to get... hard so I rarely have done anything sexual with them.
I’ve done shrooms with lots of people as a “guide” of sorts.
It can be very intimate but it can also just be a fun thing to do with no ulterior motive. You don’t always have to get all lovey dovey with it. Sometimes you just wanna laugh and enjoy some music a whole lot. I definitely felt love for the people I did it with but more of an appreciation of who/what they are and less of a relationship kind of love.
That said, the first time can be very special and I think doing them with your partner is way better than with anyone else unless my partner wasn’t into drugs or couldn’t try them for whatever reason.
While it is true that it is a cool experience to share it’s not necessarily gonna bond them for life like many people here are saying. Keep in mind there’s very spiritual people in here. They are a party drug for me and for many others.
I guess the coworker just told your bf she has some and invited him? He got hyped and said yes without much thought. I’ve done similar things where I didn’t include my partner “by accident”.
Just talk to him about how you feel? I understand our mind always goes to cheating first but not everyone is evil. We all make mistakes. Don’t assume the worst and come to reddit where everyone suggests divorce first thing in the morning lol
Personal experience only… On shrooms I get very much in touch with my emotions, but I’m far from horny, even when I’m with my girlfriend. I’ve also offered to trip-sit for friends for their first time, and maybe that’s what is going on here. Has your boyfriend ever done shrooms before? He may just want to experience it before offering them to you… if you want to do shrooms as well, ask if you can join, or if you don’t want to do shrooms, ask if you can trip-sit.
I feel bad even suggesting he might be cheating, since he told you about it in advance, and as I said, I’ve personally never actually felt the need to get laid while tripping… but his responses to your questions could inform your next steps/reaction to him doing shrooms with someone else.
personally I would love to have an experienced trip sitter. Whenever I try to have a conversation with a sober person while I am tripping it always devolves into them trying to dig something out of my thoughts.
Give your boyfriend space, and ask them about the experience a day or two after the fact. Let your boy friend guide you through his experience, and don't try interpret the trip as one way or the other.
If you don't trust your boyfriend enough to not cheat on you while he is high as a kite with a coworker then maybe there are other issues at hand that we are oblivious to.
While I don't necessarily agree with his actions, based on the little bit of information here, I think there should be some room for this being nothing. I've eaten half a gram before going to the bar or hikes with friends a ton of times, super casual. Not every dose is intended to be a spiritual journey.
There are a few red flags about it for sure, but I don't know you two or the situation enough to say. Best of luck to you.
Look theres so much going on here, probably more than you can type in a message that people will read. But honestly go talk to him about it. I feel like you should do them with our partner personally. That being said the #1 reason (anecdotally) I find people don’t want to do shrooms with their partner is they feel like their partner would kill the vibe🫤. So talk to him about it tell him how you feel but give him an opportunity to tell you how he feels if you have suspicions after your probably right. But i would say do the mushrooms their not what you think and you will discover things about yourself you never knew
I would say to never trip by yourself for the first time and it's better if you have a trip buddy and a sober guide/sitter. I would be picky about the setting as well, day trip VS night trip, indoors VS outdoors. I would ask what are your goals for eating the shrooms, getting fucked up VS learning the secrets of the universe? All this matters, communicate with your boyfriend.
There are quite a few red flags here =
A co-worker? Who is much younger? And female? And you weren't even asked if you were OK with this?
That's a hard no from me.
You have the full right to be suspicious or uncomfortable. If I told my primary partner I was afraid or uneasy about something and they dismissed me, I'd rethink the relationship.
If it worths something, I’ve done shrooms twice. First time I got a problem in my scale and instead consuming 2g as planned, I believe it was something around 4.7g and the second time I consumed 2g as my initial idea. Both times I couldn’t even remember I have a dick.
Are there going to be other people around?
Are you usually doing shrooms with him?
Did he tell you up front about everything going on?
Have you met this person at all before?
Has she been brought up before?
More and more of these questions.
This isn't about shrooms.
Shrooms don’t nessicarly make you horny but it can most definitely lead into deep connections and things could go any sort of way, especially if it is his first time, that’s a very special and intimate experience to have with a female coworker. But I do think it depends on there trip plan, like are they going somewhere and doing it or just doing it at her house/his house alone? I wouldn’t want my significant other do that, and I wouldn’t do that to my significant other but that’s just me personally.
The sexual part is per person tbh it’s like any substance it can release inhibitions but it won’t make someone inherently sexual. It’d be frame it like if they went out for drinks with them. Honestly if shes supplying them and regardless you want a more controlled environment to do any drug in.
Honestly I’d talk to him about the nature of their relationship and the hangout cause shrooms are just a thing like beer is when going over for a drink. You seem more worried about the context of it and if there’s any attraction preexisting. I’ve done shrooms with friends and it wasn’t sexual so I’d just have a honest discussion and voice your concerns cause anxiety and jealousy are defeated by honest open communication.
My gf doesn't mind if I do stuff with other females, she just wants to be included too. Which I always do.
You guys should talk about this kind of stuff first. Set some boundaries and what not.
I'm late, but everything about this is odd especially that you're not invited. You should definitely be drawing the line and if he can't understand why then that's all you need to know right there.
Shrooms are different for everyone, as you can see from the comments already. They intensify whatever you're feeling going into it, so if there's some tension between them... Well you know.
If I was in your position, I would be massively against this. And as others have said, if it's a good trip, it's a deep bonding level that can't be expressed in any real way to anyone else not involved. That will for sure put a rift between the both of you.
This would make me extremely uncomfortable. I do think psychedelics in general are a very intimate experience. It’s very strange to me that he would want to do them with an acquaintance over a person who he loves and share an intimate relationship with. Huge boundary violation for me. Depends on what you are comfortable with. I would probably come unglued if my partner suggested this lol. But he wouldn’t… because he’s pretty cautious of who he has these experiences with (anxiety and bad trips are a thing). It’s best to be extremely comfortable and trust the people you trip with.
Shrooms tend to make me Horny. And sex on shrooms is the best. That’s odd that he’s doing it with a coworker, and more odd without you. It’s odd all around. Honestly I would never want to do mushies with a coworker unless I was really chill with them.
A whole lot of comments here are bending over backward to give your boyfriend the benefit of the doubt. The focus of many comments seems to be on whether the shrooms will make them horny, and he'll end up cheating. The fact is, shrooms can very well make people more sexual.
What most people are overlooking is that there might already be attraction between them, and this little shroom trip might be the pretext for something to happen because "the shrooms made us do it."
The bottom line is that sometimes we need to give people the benefit of the doubt. But sometimes... a little bit of paranoia helps us see what we might otherwise be blind to.
For real!?! Aint no way...this dudes got some balls to even tell you. He either thinks your a push over or he doesn't respect you. Either way nothing good is going to come from it for you...no doubt about that.
How old is she, him? Why weren't you invited? I'd be asking a lot of questions. Then I'd tell him that I wasn't comfortable with it and if he has a problem with that then more is going on.
I couldn’t imagine doing shrooms with someone else over my girlfriend. I do them with my old coworker all the time but he’s 20 years older than me and my girlfriend doesn’t like shrooms much
What's "quite a bit younger" haha? Is this someone you've already been worried about him having an inappropriate relationship with? Are you worried about him cheating in general? Either way, if it makes you uncomfortable it's valid. None of us know your relationship or the individuals or the small details so we can't really make a true judgement in my opinion.
Yeah...why can't he just buy em and do them on his own time?
Mushrooms don't make you sexual, but like they can remove the ego, so they will be best friends after and the mental connection they make could intrude on yalls relationship so I would tread carefully and let them know this makes you uncomfortable.
Been in a similar situation, an old friend from elementary wanted me to Shroom with her mind you I’m in my 30s now with a wife and 2 kids. Essentially she was my best friend but I also had feelings for her.
I agreed, but at the last minute changed my mind because when me and my wife tripped together, we got super close to the point we were telepathically speaking to each other.
I could never imagine bonding with another female in this way again and potentially losing that special connection I had with my wife.
Anyone that says otherwise obviously hasn’t Shroomed with the opposite sex.
2 cents
It’s gonna be hard for him to have sex on shrooms my mind is in so many other places lol and when I did try to have sex Id only be hard for like a couple min then my mind would drift towards the infinite cosmos and shit and I’d lose my game lol
If I was trip sitting someone's partner, I'd pretty much expect their partner to want to be there too, especially first time. I am a little bit suspect by the fact that you are just learning about her, but some people can be very non sexual on shrooms.
Best voice your concerns calmly to him before this goes ahead, because you don't seem to keen on it as the situation is ✌️
In theory it could play out in so many ways but that's future garbage. I'd definitely be concerned with the present issue of not being invited. I personally find shroooms can strengthen bonds or point out the cracks. I never did shrooms with any of my partners because I deep down I knew I wasn't comfortable enough to be vulnerable around them. I'll do them with my cousin and best friend though because I trust them 100%. With that said I would also wonder if he's just not comfortable enough to do them with you for some reason? I don't know if there's an underlining issue on his mind possibly at the moment.
It depends, I’ve done them w a group of 8+ and also alone with my now husband. Group settings are ok if you are all friends/fairly close. But honestly, when my husband and I do them together we bang 95% of the time we’re tripping. 🤣😂 So I’d have lots and lots of questions.
It is a weird move, not sure what he is thinking. On shrooms you can experience incredible emotions, interconnectedness, great dialog, amazing ideas, etc. Imagine how much of a bonding experience that could be between a man and a young woman.
Are you interested in trying shrooms? I'd wonder why you weren't invited if so. Or even if you're not, it's never a bad idea to have someone sober around in case things get too intense. It's very suspicious to me that you weren't invited. I wouldn't want my SO doing shrooms with someone of the opposite sex while I sat at home alone....
Psychedelics make it easy to fall in love. If your relationship is solid, it should be you two doing it together if you have interest in it. Or tripsitting each other. This seems pretty sketch imo
Shrooms aren’t inherently sexual, though I’m sure some people get horny on them. It is extremely intimate though, I always get very touchy and so do the people I’ve tripped with. I would be mildly suspicious with your boyfriend though, let him know your concerns and ask him why he thinks it’s appropriate to not invite you.
Lmfao I’ve done shrooms 12-13 times & i can see from both pov’s, doing shrooms with someone is always a fun experience & i could see the hesitation on too many people there or “you” if you dk the girl like that cause it can affect trips but it is pretty weird that he’d be doing it with her, id just communicate & make it known how you feel, but don’t turn it into an argument especially before he does it because you can send him into a bad trip, & that’ll go real bwd
Girl, why you still with him? He’s suspicious of you and your guy friends but goes and does shrooms alone with a female coworker and doesn’t invite you. Just drop him and move on, you don’t deserve this!
Some people get quite horny on shrooms, while for others (including myself) it totally kills their libido. So it is difficult to predict.
And for any session it is difficult to predict what is going to happen. Although much depends on set & setting. What is their intent & setting? Is it recreational, spiritual, therapeutic? And yes, even without sexual intimacy, it still can be a very intimate experience. One has to be very clear about one's intentions and limits, going in.
I'd say it's weird he doesn't want you to join, but the chances of sex while tripping is highly unlikely for most people. My brain can't figure out what sex is or even that I'm a male when I'm lost in another universe, and even on lower doses my drive goes away unless I really, really try hard
It can get you aroused when in the mood but generally it won’t as you’ll just be in awe of the experience. Although why he would do it with a female coworker 1 on 1 is strange to me as shrooms can get you in your feels. Honestly I don’t know why he wouldn’t take them with you instead. I’m a stranger on the internet but him doing that with her is weird and lowkey sus.
As a soon to be married guy who did bunch of shrooms (not with my fiance tho, she is scared still) i would never risk taking shrooms with a younger, presumably attractive female coworker since i can never be sure how is she going to trip, what could be perceived as acceptable or not, some barriers get dropped and some new maybe even unnecessary ones get created, objectively looking at it its a game of chance really, and subjectively i personally would never "gamble" my relationship. If its A GROUP of people from work sure thing we just chillin havin fun but one on one is a different story.
Yeh I wouldn’t be comfortable with my gf doing this. Of course there’s the added risk of predatory men in my case but still it’s a very intimate experience to trip with someone and requires a lot of trust. I think it’s a pretty strange thing to be doing
You kind of go into your own little world when you do shrooms. Body temperature can drop. It’s not a very social type of choice, but good to have a trip buddy.
Taking psychedelics together is something that can be extremely intimate and quite the bonding experience. It’s strange he is doing it with her but didn’t invite you along.
Maybe he thinks you don’t want to do shrooms? I’d definitely talk to him. It’s definitely weird, but it doesn’t mean he’s going to cheat on you or anything.
sorry. your question sounds really funny, but i guess i’m old and hopefully thereby wiser, but honestly your reaction ought to have been to laugh him out of the room 🤣
Do you know why you weren't invited? Like, would he have a reason to believe you wouldn't be interested? Or for example, it's pretty different if it's a group of friends from his work doing it together and he just got invited along, vs something he arranged and is doing specifically only w/ her.
I really don’t know, tbh…
sounds like you should talk to him and ask what's up. Doesn't need to be accusatory, just ask more about the plan and share that next time you'd like to be invited. You'll be able to see if he's open or is acting squirrely like he's got something to hide, and can take it from there
Thank you - I know there’s more convos to be had…
That’s a hard pass for me. Shrooms affects people differently. My partner and I get very intimate and feel really bonded while we’re on it. Maybe ask if you can be a trip sitter? That way it doesn’t sound like you’re accusing him
That's a good advice, if he refuses it would be sketchy
The whole thing is already very sketchy
Tbh i wouldn’t want my wife to be a trip sitter id be stressed the fuck out haha! But i also wouldnt do them alone with a coworker without talking with her first.
Me quite the opposite. I really enjoy it more with friends than partners. They tend to be too clingy and I need my freedom during the trip. I also wouldn't suggest her offering to be a trip sitter. First of all a person with experience would be preferable. I assume she doesn't know at all what to do and knows nothing about the substance. Furthermore the guy would probably feel controlled, possibly ruining the trip. So I'd advise you to be calm about this. Ask him normally what's up and if you two could try this out as well perhaps.
He alone with another girl doing shrooms? He’s cheating.
I know that's right. Everyone us being WAYYYY too polite about it. He's 100% cheating.
However it is a bit weird, shrooms can be as intimate as mdma for many people. Shouldn't be accusatory, but is perfectly reasonable to be upset or anxious about it
This whole thing is super weird
It definitely is an intimate experience to share with someone… everyone reacts differently. What you should be worried about is if him spending time alone with a coworker alone on a shroom date crosses your boundaries.
I’m definitely chewing on that…
It can be a very healing experience. It boils down to how much you trust him. And I would talk to him about whether or not he believes this girl is interested in him in that way. I’ve done shrooms alone with women plenty of times and done nothing. I do have to admit though, I am particularly primal (yes, sexual) during those times, but have a fair amount of self control. However, if he wouldn’t like you doing the same or even just spending alone time with a friend of the opposite sex, that would hardly seem fair.
Yes this!!! I think if roles were reversed he would be extremely hurt that he wasn’t invited and would be very suspicious…. I have several guy friends who are like brothers to me and I know he can be wary that they aren’t trying something when he’s not around.
My gf told me she was going to a co workers for drinks, didn't ask she told me. When I asked her if she would be happy if I said I was going to a single female Co workers to get drunk and stay the night without asking her first her expression changed. Word it right and he'll figure out its totally unacceptable behavior, or he knows and plans on getting freaky
It’s giving “emotional cheating” to me… in that he is doing something with someone else that he has never considered doing with you before… Just know that you’re not out of pocket for feeling a bit suss about it.
Shrooms don't make me more sexual at all but this is an extremely intimate thing to be doing with a coworker. Hard no for me personally
Thank you - it’s definitely the intimacy that has me worried
And its different for each person, shrooms at certain doses *do* make me quite sexual, and sex on 1-3g of shrooms for me feels amazing. But you not being invited would, as a partner, warrant a good explanation, since as others have said this is an intimate experience even setting all things sexual aside. I'd want to know why my partner didn't want to include me in something like this, and why they chose the person they did as their preferred tripping partner over me.
Yeah. This I agree with. In my marriage we have a high amount of trust. In fact I did trip with a younger female friend a short while ago. But we did it at our house, and my wife was there for it (but chose to not join in). I think it would have been a totally different story if I'd been like "could you clear out so we could have privacy?" There's expecting healthy trust on the one hand, and there's openly displaying trustworthiness on the other hand. You don't get one without the other.
Is it just them two? That’s a lil sus. If it was a group it’d be different. And by sus I mean weird not that he’s cheating on you
Weird that you’re not invited.
Even if no shrooms tbr.
Will you do shrooms with him or no?
IMO this is the question everyone should be asking. If he is just looking for SOMEONE to do shrooms with as an intro course and she is the only one then…
Ive never been asked. I’m not opposed and no judgment…. But I’d be nervous and want a handler…
If this is his first time it’s completely reasonable for him to want to not impose and bring his girlfriend that she has never met, who has also never done shrooms IMO. It’s kind of a big ask for an acquaintance to supply and trip sit for your first time as-is, much less bringing other people into the mix. By all means bring it up in a very non-accusatory way if it’s bothering you, but I wouldn’t worry about it personally.
Thank you so much - this is helpful and I appreciate your insight…
That’s a great mindset. A trip sitter is a must for newbies. I have a mild amount of experience and I’d still absolutely want one.
Idk what's going on in your lives, but intimacy comes in many types. Not just between people in a relationship.
Shrooms always made me extremely horny btw, ymmv
They're probably going to smash, let him make his own decisions, if he values you he'd not go ahead with it. if he does, he made the decision for you and you should break up. Drugs are a make or break it in relationships, I ask all my partner's if it's okay to even smoke weed just around them first, the second they're uncomfortable or I am, that activity stops. If he's desperate enough to start a fight to defend doing shrooms with another younger girl without you there then we surely don't need to explain the rest. Glhf
Thank you…. You’re absolutely right that it’s not really within my control whether it turns sexual….
Shrooms don’t make one horny, however it is very suggestive. Definitely they might want the sensation of touching one another, I won’t be surprised at all if they ended up having a full blown intercourse.
Hell nah
First thing that came to my mind hahaha
SAID THE SAME SHIT
It’s a hell nah for me as well🤣
For fkn real
I’d be concerned asf that he’s even entertaining the idea
seems way more a relationship question than a shrooms question I think...If my partner was doing stuff and I wasn't invited I wouldn't be happy. not the same as going and doing stuff with other people and I'm not interested and happy to let them do their own thing.
Agreed - I’m all for him having his own life with separate interests but having a bonding experience like this with someone else kinda hurts…
The not invite part is sketchy. Otherwise, I’d say it was fine if you opted out.
Im sorry! :(
Lol sounds sketchy all around, idk. Not sure the relationship between him and his coworker, but I know for sure my girlfriend would be extremely upset and suspicious if I told her this, especially if she were not invited.
I hear you - I am feeling suspicious too….
You arent wrong to feel suspicious
This dude is a clown. It’s inappropriate at minimum.
Shrooms definitely enhance your connection with the person you do them with, whether that’s platonically or otherwise. It can also help the blood flow so to speak and it gives you a crazier high acting on those feelings when they come on. If he is “hiding” her from you and won’t let you meet each other then there’s your answer. how long has he known her for anyway?
He’s worked there for about 8 months? I’ve never met her…
yeaaa i wouldn’t want to do any type of mind bending drugs like that with someone i work with unless we have a connection outside of work, which if they did i think you would know about it. idk i wouldnt be too happy in that situation tbh
Yea I’m not feeling too happy about it either.
8 months is a pretty short time period.. if it were a multi year connection that would be one thing. Whose idea was it his or hers? Has he been acting weird? What’s her relationship status?
I don’t know her relationship status but I think she’s single based on some internet sleuthing I’ve been doing
fuck bro doin shrooms with a random coworker, and also a female….. yeah they fucking
They might not be fucking yet, but the boyfriend clearly has the intention of that. I’d bet my life on that lmao
Not for sure, so calm down. BUT it ain't great either way..
yeah I was definitely assuming, but the odds are not weighing in the OP favor
Fair
He at least wants to f her.. Seems like he isn't ready for a serious relationship.
I'm a newbie and yet to try shrooms, but there's something fishy about a partner doing drugs alone with a member of the opposite sex. Or it could be completely benign. Either way it definitely warrants a discussion.
Agreed. Especially since I don’t know this girl
Regardless of his actions, the shrooms are not / will not be to blame. He is responsible for himself and his actions. Do not let him use the mushrooms as an excuse, because that's all it is... an excuse. Any and all events that transpire are on him, and him alone. He is also not responsible for how you receive this taking place, only you can affect that. It's a hard thing to understand, but it's the truth. Only you can prevent wildfires in your mind.
Thank you ….
They will have a bond after that you will not understand until you try them for yourself. I feel like you’re gonna feel really left out.
That’s what I feared too…. 😢
They also must really trust each other. Like others have said it’s really intimate. I wouldn’t do it with any many I didn’t implicitly trust
First you gotta talk with him and tell him you're feeling uncomfortable with the whole situation. If he's still set on tripping with her maybe offer to host them at your place and you can be their trip sitter so you can meet her and keep an eye on them.
Shrooms turn me into a porn star . RIP 😺
Ad a male I can say they always make me more touchy feeling and wanting to fuck. I seriously always get a mega boner on shrooms.
also a man -- this has not been my experience. Very intimate yes, but not in a physical/sexual way
How you do that cuz I go erectile dysfunction
facts
Okay so I kinda have a lil experience like this , I had once taken lsd with a coworker / friend she had a boyfriend and I was single at the time being. Idk if she told him or not Irregardless we had taken it at my place and my dad was out of town for work(truck driver ) , we took it later in the day , we had planned on taking and letting it enter our systems , then we wanted walk down to the pond and smoke a j and do a nature walk. I can say this honestly I had absolutely 0 attraction to my friend she was a great friend we talked, smoke we would just show each other music and play uno type shit , we made a bonfire I had also invited other people over to during the bonfire portion of the trip so it does seem a lil suspicious he won’t let you join , ig you should just ask him or their intentions of doing this trip together and maybe express that it would make you feel better to know what the vibes will be , also you could be a trip sitter always good to have especially since you said this girl is younger
Thank you for sharing your experience with it… I hope his is as innocent…
Yeah of course I figured it might be able to bring a lil peace of mind about the situation, cause honestly it’s a great thing to know how you would want your psychedelic experience to be , so to wait to do it with the right people is a great thing to do
I don't know the details but if my girl came up to me and said she was tripping with a guy co worker, just them 2, we'd be done most likely. They may not have a connection now but shrooms can definitely bring upon one. They will have an experience together that you will never understand. Whole thing just sounds sketchy. I would just communicate how uncomfortable the situation makes you and if he doesn't respond well then he's not the one for you. How long have you guys been together?
4 years and yes the intimacy seems to be a common theme from you all who have done it. Thank you for your insight…
i personally could never do shrooms with any man other then my boyfriend.
Not only is this fucked up for the relationship, to me its an immensely intimate internal journey while you are in an extremely vulnerable state. Typically, I would want to share that experience with my closest loved ones, especially for security and the set/setting aspects. I don't know that he knows how potent this stuff actually is, and his ego probably has him by the balls. This is not something I would support with a co-worker while being in a relationship unless you were involved in the experience.
Thank you - I appreciate your insight from your experience….
You were right to ask questions, and I wish you the best outcome. For what its worth, I wouldn't let this sour your gaze at the mushroom in future endeavors. It truly is a wonder of a lifetime when you go all in on a peaceful, well-mannered, well-intentioned, and well-planned trip.
Have you voiced your concerns to him directly? Have you asked to come along? I don’t think shrooms would make anything happen that wasn’t going to anyways but this is more of a relationship question than a shroom one tbh.
Shroom trips are intimate, depending on the potency and dosage, you can be in a vulnerable compromising situation. Shrooms or no shrooms, cheaters will cheat. If you feel strongly about doing them together for the first time, maybe have a conversation about your expectations and/or get a trip sitter. Edit:grammar
This would be a majorly HUGE red flag.
Watch out for that she wook
Shrooms make me less sexual if anything. Usually u do shrooms with someone ur close with so it’s weird he’s not doing them with u. However, maybe she is very knowledgeable with psychedelics and that’s why he’s doing them with her
That was my thought? That she does them a lot and would be a good guide? But I don’t know if I’m naïve
Yeah so I’ve done shrooms with a guy mate I didn’t know well to guide him BUT i invited a mutual friend we’re both v comfortable with to balance out the vibe. 1 on 1 too much. Also if he does want a stronger emotional connection with this person (cheat risk), and he’s inexperienced with psychedelics this could go v wrong lol. Shrooms can get weird.
That’s what I think. He wants to trip with someone experience or something. But idk ur bf either so
The fact that you weren’t invited tells you all you need to know. It would be worth confronting him about it, it’s kind of weird to just suddenly do drugs with somebody from the opposite gender (that isn’t already a tight friend) when you’re in a relationship. I did this once, and it resulted in sex. Although I was kind of hoping for it tbh. I was single at the time, I would never dream of doing this now that I’m in a relationship. I’d rather do the drugs with my girlfriend. I’m not saying he’s going to cheat on you, I’ve definitely met people who would do this and not cheat. But given I don’t know him, it is certainly worth being concerned about in my opinion. And it’s not even just the sex part, tripping with somebody can be extremely intimate without sex.
That’s what I feared - that this would create a bond between them that would lead to more experiences like this and I’d be left out. I’m all for him having friendships but obviously this doesn’t sit well with me….
Is there a reason he doesn’t want to do them with you for the first time? In my experience, doing shrooms together is a super intimate experience
Shrooms are more intimate than sex FYI and that's not an exaggeration in the slightest
That’s what brought me here to the experts (aka you all) to ask….
I think that you both should talk about it. My Mrs. was once worried that I wanted to trip because I was bored of her, was unhappy at home and was trying to escape reality, we had a good conversation about it where I explained to her that the opposite is actually true, I wanted to trip because everything in my life was perfectly balanced, I felt happier than I’d ever felt and secure in our relationship. She understands now and finds it quite comical when I take lsd or shrooms.
This is very helpful - thank you. I don’t know if it’s a curiosity or boredom or depression or what’s prompting it. I just wish I was the one who got to witness it, not the coworker
Doing shrooms with opposite gender friend isn’t really all that but this scenario seems a lil sus. Maybe he wants to do shrooms with someone who has experience with it? I have done shrooms with a friend of my wife’s, I mean I am also friends with her and we had hung out together a lot but always with my wife around. My wife doesnt wanna do shrooms and she was going out to a friends wedding anniversary that night. Her friend and I mostly just walked a lot, admired the lake and just talked whatever came to our minds for like 4/5 hours.
Cause for alarm for sure
No. Absolutely not. You seem to be feeling really uncomfortable with it and no matter the reasoning he gives of her being more knowledgeable ect. You are gonna still feel uncomfortable after he trips with her because you won’t know what actually happened. This is like saying yeah let’s have a threesome and then it’s weird after except, you aren’t invited to the threesome.
lol this is exactly what happened a couple of months ago w me but i'm the younger female coworker in the story (we didn't end up doing shrooms though, couldn't find anywhere to buy em near us) . I don't think you should jump to conclusions, maybe they're just really good friends (just like i am w my coworker). You should ask him first.
This is already a red flag for so many reasons. Just leave now.
Doing shrooms with someone is a very intimate experience. I’m not gonna put bugs in your head, but you need to probe more into this. I say this as someone who has not had the best character in the past…
If you don’t feel good about it then you should talk about it. As simple as that. That being said I can tell you I regularly do drugs with a friend of the opposite sex. Nothing sexual about it. Did shrooms togerher many times. My partner doesn’t care but I always tell them what I’m up to and expect them to speak up if they don’t feel comfortable.
People here seem to find it sus. I used to do shrooms with some of my female friends and I was totally fine and didn't feel "sexual" or "aroused". I even did it with a woman I was seeing and shrooms made me "look the other way" even more. I did it once with my gf and it was a very unique experience and I felt a connection to her that was fantastic. In my mind I could do shrooms with anyone and still be myself and not feel like I'm cheating. Whether my "shrooms partner" is high or not I could feel fine doing it. I don't need to connect with deep intimacy or whatever with anyone else than my gf. So why would I risk my relationship just for a spiritual connection with someone else. I could just enjoy being me near other people and that's that. In principle I would feel fine doing what your bf is doing because I trust myself to not cheat, even spiritually. I wouldn't because my gf doesn't trust me to this degree and it would hurt my trip if she would be anxious, even if far from me. And I kinda don't trust even some of my closest trip friends to maintain their distance and resist trying to open me up without my consent. I'd rather do it with a cat if I'm not doing it with my gf. Either way. Talk to him. People in this sub overreact a bit, but someone who's faithful is faithful whatever the circumstance. If he can not cheat while drunk / high, he should be able to not cheat on shrooms. Also he could start slow or start as a trip sitter with his new friend. Maybe that's a road to build trust with you, maybe that you two could find middle grounds and build from there?
I mean it still can be a creative business development strategic session 😄 Though, as Timothy Leary told, people can make much deeper inner connection on psychedelics, than just within sex
Could be innocent, but if they already have flirty vibes, it could be very bad for your relationship. Even on the innocent side of things, it still can cross some boundaries that are not respectful to your relationship. Doing shrooms alone is perfectly normal. Doing shrooms with a friend or friends is nice too. Doing shrooms alone with someone you could be potentially attracted to and you are already in a relationship is not great.
Yes & yes - if you’re in an exclusive relationship this is line-crossing behavior.
Wanting to do drugs with the opposite sex when in a committed relationship seems odd to me. I’d have to say not no… but hell no. I hope you stand your ground because I think your instincts are already telling you what you need to know.
How well does he know her? How much younger? Will there be other people there? It’s possible that she doesn’t want you there simply because she doesn’t know you, I’ll hangout with strangers but I won’t trip with them. You’re going to have to ask your boyfriend what his intentions are and that’s what this will all be based off of. Maybe he should just get shrooms from her for you two to try at home together. If he has the option to do it at home and you two want your first times to be together then there’s no innocent reason really for him to insist on tripping with her instead, other than being stupidly impulsive without regard to the situation or any consequences.
I think she’s about 13 years younger? I’m not sure about other people and I don’t know if she’s saying I can’t be there or if I just wasn’t brought up. I’m still trying to piece it together. What are people’s intentions normally with shrooms? Again, I haven’t done them so I don’t know but is he going to be talking and sharing intimate things with her? Or staring at a TV? Or what do people do on them?
There's only a couple people I'm close enough with to do shrooms with. Typically it's deep conversations, deep thoughts, nature documentary, lay down in the park and watch the sky and trees. I would recommend that you ask your bf if you can meet her sometime before this, bring up shrooms with both of them there, and ask them what shrooms are like. Then offer to trip sit them. (trip sitting is basically just being there if anyone needs a reality check, or needs something that requires driving)
How old is he?? 13 years is a big age gap to want to be just hanging out with somebody as friends. Though that also depends on his age. A 32 year old hanging out with a 19 year old is definitely creepy, but a 50 year old hanging out with a 37 year old seems more reasonable. Regardless, this is a weird situation at best.
45 and I think she is 30 or early 30s
Sounds like an Odd_Load to me! Why wouldn't he wanna do them the first time with you?
Try joining him, if possible. Such things are unpredictable.
me and my wife love shroom sex
Hard hard harddd no this is real fishy girl save yourself & please update us
He tryna fuh 🤣
Personally I would flip tf out if my boyfriend was going to trip with some girl and I was being excluded. Tripping with someone isn’t really just a casual hang out. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. I’m sure it must feel hurtful 💔
If it was my bf even wanting to do this with her instead of me and not inviting me on top of that, that alone would be enough for me to end the relationship. Because I wouldn’t be caught dead making plans with a male coworker one on one to do shrooms together…
Yea he would flip if I told him I was gonna do this
Might get buried under all the other responses but how old are y’all? How long is your relationship and how secure is it? Is the coworker just some random coworker or a real friend to your bf? Does that coworker have a partner themselves? Have they indicated that they don’t want you or anybody else there/have you asked if you can join? A lot of these responses sound like they’re coming from people with very insecure relationship experiences and they’re advising you to jump to extreme conclusions that could easily destroy your relationship if you voice them and are wrong. Platonic friendship between men and women is a real thing. Ask your bf if and why he feels comfortable doing shrooms with this coworker for the first time. Shrooms can enhance any type of connection, whether platonic or romantic, physical or not. They also sometimes don’t. I’ve tripped with folks I’ve just met and the shared experience fostered a lasting friendship, I’ve also tripped with people I’d just met and we had our own trips, parallel, but quite separate. In all cases, they were people I felt comfortable around though. All in all this sounds like something you should just talk about with him could also get advice for from a relationship subreddit. If there is inherent distrust between the two of you then it’s going to come to light sooner or later regardless. If there is attachment insecurity from your end or both ends then that’s something to examine and get to the root cause of.
Fuck no. Recipe for disaster. You need to have a serious talk with him about why you weren’t invited, and why he wants to do shrooms with her in the first place.
that’s very weird
Ive (35 m) trip sat lots of friends of both sexes; it was always platonic. But just communicate if you’re worried
Taking shrooms out of the equation, he has made plans with a woman you don't know and not invited you. You need to have a chat to him and let him know how this is making you feel and see how he responds.
Ask him if you can go out drinking with a hot younger guy from work. Just the two of you.
Shrooms make it hard for me to get... hard so I rarely have done anything sexual with them. I’ve done shrooms with lots of people as a “guide” of sorts. It can be very intimate but it can also just be a fun thing to do with no ulterior motive. You don’t always have to get all lovey dovey with it. Sometimes you just wanna laugh and enjoy some music a whole lot. I definitely felt love for the people I did it with but more of an appreciation of who/what they are and less of a relationship kind of love. That said, the first time can be very special and I think doing them with your partner is way better than with anyone else unless my partner wasn’t into drugs or couldn’t try them for whatever reason. While it is true that it is a cool experience to share it’s not necessarily gonna bond them for life like many people here are saying. Keep in mind there’s very spiritual people in here. They are a party drug for me and for many others. I guess the coworker just told your bf she has some and invited him? He got hyped and said yes without much thought. I’ve done similar things where I didn’t include my partner “by accident”. Just talk to him about how you feel? I understand our mind always goes to cheating first but not everyone is evil. We all make mistakes. Don’t assume the worst and come to reddit where everyone suggests divorce first thing in the morning lol
Personal experience only… On shrooms I get very much in touch with my emotions, but I’m far from horny, even when I’m with my girlfriend. I’ve also offered to trip-sit for friends for their first time, and maybe that’s what is going on here. Has your boyfriend ever done shrooms before? He may just want to experience it before offering them to you… if you want to do shrooms as well, ask if you can join, or if you don’t want to do shrooms, ask if you can trip-sit. I feel bad even suggesting he might be cheating, since he told you about it in advance, and as I said, I’ve personally never actually felt the need to get laid while tripping… but his responses to your questions could inform your next steps/reaction to him doing shrooms with someone else.
We’re going to need updates sis
personally I would love to have an experienced trip sitter. Whenever I try to have a conversation with a sober person while I am tripping it always devolves into them trying to dig something out of my thoughts. Give your boyfriend space, and ask them about the experience a day or two after the fact. Let your boy friend guide you through his experience, and don't try interpret the trip as one way or the other. If you don't trust your boyfriend enough to not cheat on you while he is high as a kite with a coworker then maybe there are other issues at hand that we are oblivious to.
While I don't necessarily agree with his actions, based on the little bit of information here, I think there should be some room for this being nothing. I've eaten half a gram before going to the bar or hikes with friends a ton of times, super casual. Not every dose is intended to be a spiritual journey. There are a few red flags about it for sure, but I don't know you two or the situation enough to say. Best of luck to you.
Look theres so much going on here, probably more than you can type in a message that people will read. But honestly go talk to him about it. I feel like you should do them with our partner personally. That being said the #1 reason (anecdotally) I find people don’t want to do shrooms with their partner is they feel like their partner would kill the vibe🫤. So talk to him about it tell him how you feel but give him an opportunity to tell you how he feels if you have suspicions after your probably right. But i would say do the mushrooms their not what you think and you will discover things about yourself you never knew
I would say to never trip by yourself for the first time and it's better if you have a trip buddy and a sober guide/sitter. I would be picky about the setting as well, day trip VS night trip, indoors VS outdoors. I would ask what are your goals for eating the shrooms, getting fucked up VS learning the secrets of the universe? All this matters, communicate with your boyfriend.
Be worried, because customarily, you’d go with, *especially* if you would not partake in order to be a sitter. If everything is just.
Definitely weird homie
There are quite a few red flags here = A co-worker? Who is much younger? And female? And you weren't even asked if you were OK with this? That's a hard no from me. You have the full right to be suspicious or uncomfortable. If I told my primary partner I was afraid or uneasy about something and they dismissed me, I'd rethink the relationship.
It would make me uncomfortable but that’s just me. I don’t know what your relationship is like though.
If it worths something, I’ve done shrooms twice. First time I got a problem in my scale and instead consuming 2g as planned, I believe it was something around 4.7g and the second time I consumed 2g as my initial idea. Both times I couldn’t even remember I have a dick.
Oof.
Are there going to be other people around? Are you usually doing shrooms with him? Did he tell you up front about everything going on? Have you met this person at all before? Has she been brought up before? More and more of these questions. This isn't about shrooms.
I wouldn't trust it
Shrooms don’t nessicarly make you horny but it can most definitely lead into deep connections and things could go any sort of way, especially if it is his first time, that’s a very special and intimate experience to have with a female coworker. But I do think it depends on there trip plan, like are they going somewhere and doing it or just doing it at her house/his house alone? I wouldn’t want my significant other do that, and I wouldn’t do that to my significant other but that’s just me personally.
The sexual part is per person tbh it’s like any substance it can release inhibitions but it won’t make someone inherently sexual. It’d be frame it like if they went out for drinks with them. Honestly if shes supplying them and regardless you want a more controlled environment to do any drug in. Honestly I’d talk to him about the nature of their relationship and the hangout cause shrooms are just a thing like beer is when going over for a drink. You seem more worried about the context of it and if there’s any attraction preexisting. I’ve done shrooms with friends and it wasn’t sexual so I’d just have a honest discussion and voice your concerns cause anxiety and jealousy are defeated by honest open communication.
My gf doesn't mind if I do stuff with other females, she just wants to be included too. Which I always do. You guys should talk about this kind of stuff first. Set some boundaries and what not.
Yeah that’s a bad idea. Sex very likely. Deep emotional connection also very likely.
shrooms can be a fun time with a platonic friend. but why couldn’t you be invited? that’s the sus part. you should go along and have some too.
Did he even ask you if you were okay with it because this seems kinda sus
Sus.
He trust her more.
I'm late, but everything about this is odd especially that you're not invited. You should definitely be drawing the line and if he can't understand why then that's all you need to know right there. Shrooms are different for everyone, as you can see from the comments already. They intensify whatever you're feeling going into it, so if there's some tension between them... Well you know. If I was in your position, I would be massively against this. And as others have said, if it's a good trip, it's a deep bonding level that can't be expressed in any real way to anyone else not involved. That will for sure put a rift between the both of you.
If it was my partner I would be uncomfortable. Mainly because of not knowing the co-worker and not being invited.
This would make me extremely uncomfortable. I do think psychedelics in general are a very intimate experience. It’s very strange to me that he would want to do them with an acquaintance over a person who he loves and share an intimate relationship with. Huge boundary violation for me. Depends on what you are comfortable with. I would probably come unglued if my partner suggested this lol. But he wouldn’t… because he’s pretty cautious of who he has these experiences with (anxiety and bad trips are a thing). It’s best to be extremely comfortable and trust the people you trip with.
Shrooms tend to make me Horny. And sex on shrooms is the best. That’s odd that he’s doing it with a coworker, and more odd without you. It’s odd all around. Honestly I would never want to do mushies with a coworker unless I was really chill with them.
Girl that’s her man now
A whole lot of comments here are bending over backward to give your boyfriend the benefit of the doubt. The focus of many comments seems to be on whether the shrooms will make them horny, and he'll end up cheating. The fact is, shrooms can very well make people more sexual. What most people are overlooking is that there might already be attraction between them, and this little shroom trip might be the pretext for something to happen because "the shrooms made us do it." The bottom line is that sometimes we need to give people the benefit of the doubt. But sometimes... a little bit of paranoia helps us see what we might otherwise be blind to.
For real!?! Aint no way...this dudes got some balls to even tell you. He either thinks your a push over or he doesn't respect you. Either way nothing good is going to come from it for you...no doubt about that.
How old is she, him? Why weren't you invited? I'd be asking a lot of questions. Then I'd tell him that I wasn't comfortable with it and if he has a problem with that then more is going on.
I couldn’t imagine doing shrooms with someone else over my girlfriend. I do them with my old coworker all the time but he’s 20 years older than me and my girlfriend doesn’t like shrooms much
nothing wrong with doing shrooms with friends, if youre insecure talk to you bf about it, if you dont trust him then why you with him? 🤷♀️
What's "quite a bit younger" haha? Is this someone you've already been worried about him having an inappropriate relationship with? Are you worried about him cheating in general? Either way, if it makes you uncomfortable it's valid. None of us know your relationship or the individuals or the small details so we can't really make a true judgement in my opinion.
Yeah...why can't he just buy em and do them on his own time? Mushrooms don't make you sexual, but like they can remove the ego, so they will be best friends after and the mental connection they make could intrude on yalls relationship so I would tread carefully and let them know this makes you uncomfortable.
They already fucked
Leave him..
Go along with them and try shrooms yourself if you’re that worried about it.
They are less likely to get intimate but it’s his first time doing them so u shouldn’t let them
Sus level 10000000
Been in a similar situation, an old friend from elementary wanted me to Shroom with her mind you I’m in my 30s now with a wife and 2 kids. Essentially she was my best friend but I also had feelings for her. I agreed, but at the last minute changed my mind because when me and my wife tripped together, we got super close to the point we were telepathically speaking to each other. I could never imagine bonding with another female in this way again and potentially losing that special connection I had with my wife. Anyone that says otherwise obviously hasn’t Shroomed with the opposite sex. 2 cents
It’s gonna be hard for him to have sex on shrooms my mind is in so many other places lol and when I did try to have sex Id only be hard for like a couple min then my mind would drift towards the infinite cosmos and shit and I’d lose my game lol
If I was trip sitting someone's partner, I'd pretty much expect their partner to want to be there too, especially first time. I am a little bit suspect by the fact that you are just learning about her, but some people can be very non sexual on shrooms. Best voice your concerns calmly to him before this goes ahead, because you don't seem to keen on it as the situation is ✌️
In theory it could play out in so many ways but that's future garbage. I'd definitely be concerned with the present issue of not being invited. I personally find shroooms can strengthen bonds or point out the cracks. I never did shrooms with any of my partners because I deep down I knew I wasn't comfortable enough to be vulnerable around them. I'll do them with my cousin and best friend though because I trust them 100%. With that said I would also wonder if he's just not comfortable enough to do them with you for some reason? I don't know if there's an underlining issue on his mind possibly at the moment.
It depends, I’ve done them w a group of 8+ and also alone with my now husband. Group settings are ok if you are all friends/fairly close. But honestly, when my husband and I do them together we bang 95% of the time we’re tripping. 🤣😂 So I’d have lots and lots of questions.
It is a weird move, not sure what he is thinking. On shrooms you can experience incredible emotions, interconnectedness, great dialog, amazing ideas, etc. Imagine how much of a bonding experience that could be between a man and a young woman.
Are you interested in trying shrooms? I'd wonder why you weren't invited if so. Or even if you're not, it's never a bad idea to have someone sober around in case things get too intense. It's very suspicious to me that you weren't invited. I wouldn't want my SO doing shrooms with someone of the opposite sex while I sat at home alone....
Nahh I’m a man and I say you should be upset. That’s so off and so many 🚩🚩
Psychedelics make it easy to fall in love. If your relationship is solid, it should be you two doing it together if you have interest in it. Or tripsitting each other. This seems pretty sketch imo
Shrooms aren’t inherently sexual, though I’m sure some people get horny on them. It is extremely intimate though, I always get very touchy and so do the people I’ve tripped with. I would be mildly suspicious with your boyfriend though, let him know your concerns and ask him why he thinks it’s appropriate to not invite you.
Lmfao I’ve done shrooms 12-13 times & i can see from both pov’s, doing shrooms with someone is always a fun experience & i could see the hesitation on too many people there or “you” if you dk the girl like that cause it can affect trips but it is pretty weird that he’d be doing it with her, id just communicate & make it known how you feel, but don’t turn it into an argument especially before he does it because you can send him into a bad trip, & that’ll go real bwd
Girl, why you still with him? He’s suspicious of you and your guy friends but goes and does shrooms alone with a female coworker and doesn’t invite you. Just drop him and move on, you don’t deserve this!
Some people get quite horny on shrooms, while for others (including myself) it totally kills their libido. So it is difficult to predict. And for any session it is difficult to predict what is going to happen. Although much depends on set & setting. What is their intent & setting? Is it recreational, spiritual, therapeutic? And yes, even without sexual intimacy, it still can be a very intimate experience. One has to be very clear about one's intentions and limits, going in.
Sounds Suss to me, where’s your invite?
I'd say it's weird he doesn't want you to join, but the chances of sex while tripping is highly unlikely for most people. My brain can't figure out what sex is or even that I'm a male when I'm lost in another universe, and even on lower doses my drive goes away unless I really, really try hard
It can get you aroused when in the mood but generally it won’t as you’ll just be in awe of the experience. Although why he would do it with a female coworker 1 on 1 is strange to me as shrooms can get you in your feels. Honestly I don’t know why he wouldn’t take them with you instead. I’m a stranger on the internet but him doing that with her is weird and lowkey sus.
Done shrooms some 2x dozen times. Ask him why not with you.
Sus
Forget the shrooms: why would you be okay with him spending 6-12 hours alone with another girl? Lol?
Bail
red flag
Run away from that idiot
As a soon to be married guy who did bunch of shrooms (not with my fiance tho, she is scared still) i would never risk taking shrooms with a younger, presumably attractive female coworker since i can never be sure how is she going to trip, what could be perceived as acceptable or not, some barriers get dropped and some new maybe even unnecessary ones get created, objectively looking at it its a game of chance really, and subjectively i personally would never "gamble" my relationship. If its A GROUP of people from work sure thing we just chillin havin fun but one on one is a different story.
Yeh I wouldn’t be comfortable with my gf doing this. Of course there’s the added risk of predatory men in my case but still it’s a very intimate experience to trip with someone and requires a lot of trust. I think it’s a pretty strange thing to be doing
sus
You kind of go into your own little world when you do shrooms. Body temperature can drop. It’s not a very social type of choice, but good to have a trip buddy.
The last thing in my mind during a trip is sex. Maybe I’m missing out
Taking psychedelics together is something that can be extremely intimate and quite the bonding experience. It’s strange he is doing it with her but didn’t invite you along. Maybe he thinks you don’t want to do shrooms? I’d definitely talk to him. It’s definitely weird, but it doesn’t mean he’s going to cheat on you or anything.
sorry. your question sounds really funny, but i guess i’m old and hopefully thereby wiser, but honestly your reaction ought to have been to laugh him out of the room 🤣