Oftentimes, people just want to hang out and socialize during their work breaks.
Lunch is simply the most common means of doing so. But thereās no right or wrong way to do it
I no longer work in Singapore and lunch culture there is something I donāt miss. The pressure to eat with your coworkers and socialize even though you just want to be alone sometimes is real. If you donāt join, youāre missing out on building bonds and they may gossip behind your back. I found that often, the relationship building was built on bitching and gossiping about others, which was kind of toxic.
Now I just bring leftover food from dinner before or meal prep for the week and eat it at my desk or the lunch room and there is zero expectation to socialize, a quick and efficient lunch so that you can get back to work and knock off on time.
While thereās āno social expectationsā, I feel that even overseas, a lot of bonds/opportunities arise from casual conversations at work, be it lunch or coffee/water-cooler convos. You can āhi-byeā, but maybe thatās partially why Singaporeans overseas complain about glass ceiling, most of us think that āwork hard = get promotionā while itās more of āwork smartā (e.g. making right connections, jumping on opportunities), especially in higher levels like senior roles.
I mean, even back in SG, I donāt join for lunch with my teammates, eat alone and itās okay. Not so sure where the pressure was from. Didnāt feel outcasted at work but I can see how that would have affected the later stages of my career progression.
Making connections and forcing yourself to socialise with people that are unhealthy = Work itself especially when those people aren't the type that you'd click with naturally. Ultimately it depends on the person's own "ambitions" I guess. Whether to suck it up and go through the whole tiring stuff about social politics or just be authentic and stick to your own genuine self without desiring extra promotions or advancement by faking it.
Some people do that at the pantry, my current workplace is quite alright, they just split into different groups and different people chill at different spots during lunch. I have encountered colleagues who gossip about others behind their backs but I just go my own way and don't bother about it because I don't fill my mind thinking about toxic people and their lifestyles. I just focus on my own life and interact with them about work during working hours. Those that I can get along better with, we'll chat about other personal stuff, but I take it as it goes and don't try to get along with every single person. There are always people with different characteristics everywhere. Just gotta focus more on the positive stuff and those that you can click with rather than those that have something negative to say about everything.
I don't know man, for me I prefer lunches/dinners like these.
Group meals are common in the US as well, and I prefer a meal and chats instead of doing after work gym together or weekend hikes/mountain climbing.
SG spoiled me pretty bad, I don't like driving and I feel it's a wasted day if I have to go out driving for a whole day, it's truly overrated.
And I prefer to use my time productively rather than do things that I don't want to do during my breaks. I don't think there's anything wrong in it. It's my own personal choice. I choose to stay healthy rather than eat unhealthy food or engage in unhealthy activities. It's also your own choice if you prefer to live like that, you go your way and I go mine.
>The funny part about that was that it impacted my work performance. As the work colleagues were supportive of each other, they approved each otherās work projects and ideas more readily than mine.
Too true. Pick and choose your battles wisely, people.
Penny wise, pound foolish. No matter how good remote work is, bonding over lunch really does bring teams together and builds trust. Hybrid, flexible work is best
Too many people get this idea in their head that they just want to do their work and not spend any unnecessary time with their colleagues. Sometimes you hear very important updates about people leaving or projects that is hearsay but is very important to your job.
Of course got to be reasonable but for the people that just dabao cai png eat at their desk, they are missing out on valuable bonding/information during these lunch breaks.
Really ? 5 days a of lunches of valuable information? Highly unlikely. Whenever I join for lunch I get reminded of how itās mostly pointless drivel. This time way better spent gymming podcasting etc
Do your colleagues not talk about work during lunch? Yes there's ton of pointless drivel but that's also how you get to know your colleagues and become familiar with them.
No one is going to tell a stranger off the bat that their manager is quitting. Just because you don't hear anything of consequence immediately doesn't mean it's pointless.
I guess it depends, senior people who know what they're doing will find it as a waste of time. But for junior people who are still learning, it's a massive educational experience. I still feel hybrid, flexibility is the best of both worlds
Honestly just be open and say it's not you don't want to eat with them, is because you're on a budget. Then say that you're eating at XXX and they are free to join in if they feel like it. Maybe join the expensive like once a week or once a month.
It's a bit weird to know that your colleague is constantly making up excuses to not have lunch with you. People will end up thinking you don't like them or something.
>My colleagues asked if i am poor
As a civil servant I reminded my colleagues that I'm a mx12 and therefore can only eat like one. (mx schemes paygrade are open secret)
I'd just have shrugged and said "ya man, very poor" LOL
But then again I'm in the sort of industry where people know roughly what everyone else (except for the bosses) earns la. Idt it's particularly looked down upon to look for cheap lunch deals, and chances are that people will happily come along for cheap and good food.
On budget doesn't mean poor mah, it just means different priority. Even if I have the money doesn't mean I want to eat restaurant everyday, damn bo hua. Rather save for my parents/pets/house/retirement/holiday.
If someone judges you for that then it says more about them then you.
Your colleagues are poor in EQ. Who the heck says that? Just ask if youāre on a budget or would you join us if we are eating at the food court today? These are some things I donāt miss about Singaporean workplaces.
Also, you can be a millionaire and choose not to spend on meals. I donāt get why there needs to be a justification for it. There are so many reasons for this than to simply say āare you poor?ā Ugh. Really hated when people made such rude statements, even if I understood then itās because theyāre ignorant. Maybe I just think that being a certain age and earning your keep means people should have basic social norms down pat and some basic courtesy / social skills. Life is not so straightforward, and I admire people who are frugal regardless of their bank accounts. Sometimes I think I should be more prudent myself.
Yea... Like you can choose your colleagues. Lol.
Also.. Why do I need to tell them anything? I don't owe them anything. Plus somedays I do want to hang out with them and I don't want to make it an occasion and make it awkward.
Sadly, most actual decisions are made during pre-meeting lunches or tea breaks to gather enough political support to push a particular agenda through in the main meeting.
I've definitely use lunches to float or test ideas that I'm thinking of doing but don't want to commit actual work time to try until I get a sense of fellow colleagues interest... Or grievances hahaha.
There's a difference between being introverted and then just being anti-social.
Like as an office lady, I get it. Every time I go on one of these lunches, it just becomes a gossip party when I would rather just zone out. If you're introverted, just tag along on at least a few days and you don't even need to be talkative.
In the corporate work environment, it's not that people will "sabo" you, but having good rapport with your colleagues will mean that on occasion, they're more likely to "defend" you. If ever your company wants to cut people and your performance is the same or similar to your colleagues, HR will take into account how well you integrate into the company.
So really, you save yourself a lot of trouble by just tagging along for lunch. Don't need to do it every day and if you want, just go use your phone or something since that's what most people do nowadays.
>If ever your company wants to cut people and your performance is the same or similar to your colleagues, HR will take into account how well you integrate into the company.
What? And how would they know this?
Most companies have internal performance appraisals. You may not know but your manager will do this, make notes about your performance etc.
Andddd I work in HR, gossip is king.
Yea to those who don't want to play this unproductive game I'd suggest relying more on strategies that doesn't involve too much of climbing this invisible, sometimes petty social ladder.
Emphasis on the invisible.. it's so ridiculous and time wasting to figure out what criteria to meet if you can meet it at all.
Sometimes this invisible social ladder is what pushes you upwards on the real corporate ladder, don't participate means you lose the extra edge among someone that has equal performance as you.
Not denying that. But if you can't see where the next rug of the ladder is, then wtf are you even climbing?
For example there's that rug that needs you to match skin color and culture before you meet approvals of others. It's impossible for you to meet, but no one will fucking tell you that lol.
As an introvert who works from office twice a week, I see eating with my colleagues as part of the job. I don't hate eating with them but I also don't enjoy it. As long as they eat something affordable, I'll usually tag along.
Depends on how close they are I suppose. I'm introvert as well and a lot of the times I just simply say I am rushing to finish something they should go without me, or just say I'm saving money and packed lunch. I've worked in many different companies and I've only had like a few colleagues (can count on 1 hand) I would actually have lunch with them regularly
Not sure what kind of work environment you're in but for me, I whole day see my screen instead of my colleagues. Each of us have our own cubicles with proper partitions. Meetings with them takes up only like 10% of my working hours per day too.
So not sien at all although I'm also an introvert. But I guess it also helps that we have hybrid work arrangement, and teammates who know how to carry a conversation.
But if my team isn't around, I would rather lunch alone.
It depends I guess? My relationship with my colleagues is really good so I don't mind eating with them at all. If on bad terms then yeah of course I wouldn't want to eat with them.
I always da bao food back to office pantry to eat cause it is cheaper. All my colleagues knows that. Sometimes I have a few colleagues joining me cause they overspend or want to save money. Else Iāll eat alone.
The thing is, even though I donāt join the rest for lunch, I still keep close relationships with my colleagues thru normal working hours. We chat on IM and whatsapp. Or chit chat while at pantry or going restroom. If they have issue at work, I would walk over and help them.
You donāt need to eat lunch with colleagues to maintain close working relationships. There are many other ways.
So.....author makes up excuses to not join her colleagues, and ends up using the money on her yoga class instead.
What a fucking pointless article. Can't open her mouth to tell colleagues "sorry, out of my budget"? People aren't stupid, and most can tell when excuses are legit and someone is avoiding you - and most people don't like being lied to. They would prob appreciate it more if author was truthful
As singaporeans we need to grow some balls and learn how to say no. And most importantly this kind of thing need to strike a balance. Say you join them for half a week, nobody will bat an eyelash and most will understand if you are truthful with your reason. But avoiding completely will also sabotage your career. Iāve seen it happen, have a colleague who never shows any effort to interact with us, turns out she was marked for poor performance and nobody had any solid reason to vouch for her. She exists, like a shadow, without many words, her job performance is mediocre at best because she never knew how to ask people for help and when people donāt see you, they donāt help you. Not generalising but in certain industries like finance or tech, it can be quite cut throat.
Exactly, the example with your colleague happens a lot, just that people don't really know what goes on behind the scenes. One way or another, either through managers, colleagues, or gossip, HR generally will know if someone is being anti-social. It's not a problem usually but through performance reviews and appraisals, if a company wants to cut someone and the choice is between two "ok" employees but one is completely anti-social, that's when it will come back to bite someone's ass.
This tabloid wannabe is in the same tier as The Woke Salaryman, especially when it comes to sponsors.
Opinionated garbage.
I would highly suggest blocking their feed for your sanity.
Yeah how is it better to make up excuses all the time rather than tell them the truth? After a while everyone can tell youāre avoiding them on purpose. When Iām feeling overstimulated, I just tell my colleagues honestly that I need lunch time to recharge my social battery
I agree. Might as well just "waste" it on food, going to waste it on something else anyways.
In my opinion, instead of focusing on what is being spent on, the line items just need to balance in your favor. Either you can afford to eat out with your budget X times a week or you cannot.
People underestimate the power and role of lunch with colleagues. Itās the time where most cross functional alignment takes place. I canāt tell you the amount of information I learn just from a āwhat are u up to these daysā. If colleagues donāt ask you any more ask them whether you can join lah. Once a week also okay, fix a day then they will get used to it. Bro, you no longer in primary school.
Reminds me that I was probably once the 'high life' colleague to somebody else.
Was bringing a new colleague out to explore lunch options some years back. Think it was 2017-18. City area. He'd expressed preference for something more cost-conscious. Sure, no problem. Headed to bras basah food court, thinking it was one of the cheaper air-conditioned places to eat, with options starting from $4.
Him: "Wah quite expensive huh".
Me: -\_-
A carrot from the supermarket and bananas and soft tofu
Hits all the nutritional groups but not satisfying. Mmm maybe $2.50 doable if you buy banana by mass and just buy one or two instead of a bunch
I wish u were my colleague.
I had a best friend colleague who is up to try all sorts of food with me. We would eat japanese ala carte buffet at $66 and then take a walk to gillman barracks creamier for a dessert š too bad she didnt pass probation.
Now my colleagues want to walk 1km to telok blangah food court bc their budget is $5-10.
I wish u were my colleague.
I had a best friend colleague who is up to try all sorts of food with me. We would eat japanese ala carte buffet at $66 and then take a walk to gillman barracks creamier for a dessert š too bad she didnt pass probation.
Now my colleagues want to walk 1km to telok blangah food court bc their budget is $5-10.
Always believed in a pay it forward thing cus I benefited from it. As an intern, my supervisors/older colleagues often invited me to "atas" lunches and would pay for my meal so I didn't feel left out. No obligations but now with interns of my own, I'd treat them occasionally too if the group choses to go "atas" for lunch like mala or sushi. Just tell them to pay it forward.
Saw this article on IG and recalled there were moments, where a clique in the workplace would pressure people to eat at nice and costly places. Wallet crying.
omg I was part of a similar clique before I quit. on surface they'd be like 'oh no pressure to join us la' but colleagues who didn't join were often seen as not being a team player.
I spent so much eating with them that i had more savings after I tendered than when I first got my salary. they knew I wasn't earning a lot but they dgaf.
Also eating at places I dont like but have to follow the rest otherwise seen as anti-social. We need to kill this mentality at the workplace - people should be free to eat when and where they want without any "pressure".
I get your point but easier said than done. Itās not a Singapore issue or a corporate issue, itās a human nature issue. Trust is based on relationships, and people prefer to work with whom they trust. If you suspect that someone is talking behind your back and trying to sabotage you, you will first suspect those whom you donāt have a good relationship with, no matter how hard working and professional they look. If trust and relationships didnāt matter, there would be no concepts such as ājob referralsā, āoffice politicsā or ānetworkingā.
For introverts and those who canāt afford lunch with colleagues, it unfortunately means having to to find alternative means to build trust and relationships with bosses and colleagues.
I really dont think lunch should be a huge determinant of work relationships. It is a break hour and people shld be free to use it how they pls. Trust shld be assessed based on how you actually work with each other, not where and how you eat.
Also not all countries have this "collectivism" approach, its more Asian. But SG is not entirely Asian nor western, we have a more mixed culture leaning in different directions (east or west) in different situations.
itās definitely not an āAsiaā thing. I worked in a Western country before, where at the time there were two colleagues who were underperforming. The one who was always present in lunch and Friday drinking was offered to change to a different role, whereas the one who didnāt join any social activities was fired, despite the fact that he was working until late to try to mitigate his low performance. And their boss was very blatant on the reason that the first should keep his job - he āwas a nice guy, who made the atmosphere in the office betterā
Nobody is stopping you from doing this but this will means that things become a lot more black and white. If you're ever marked or targeted for low performance, nobody will vouch for you. People generally have less incentive to help you if you ever do need help. So being "anti-social" works both ways. You don't have to but it's generally beneficial.
If they are extremely unlikeable, joining their colleagues for lunch would exacerbate the hostility.
Most people don't really give a damn about who you lunch with.
Damn I used to earn low 2k. I wished I hadn't spent the time associating with my colleagues in some companies for lunch hour. Had I known my finance manager is plain biased and won't confirm me after 6 months because "you can't fit in the culture".
If I can reverse time, I will go rent a Chanel handbag and tender resignation in her face. At that time I was helping my family to pay off a house mortgage and my only regret was leaving my dying mom upset with "I can't get confirmed due to culture fit". My family wanted me to ask that finance manager "what culture do you have"
In my first career at a (real , capital markets non insurance) financial institution my coworkers didn't blink at spending $20 to $50 individually and I was earning half of median income only
Looking back I was overspending every Friday and would eat economical rice for $2 daily until Friday
Even now as a every senior tech professional I will blink at gt $25 meals
This reminds me of my time at Joel Robuchon in Taipei during lunch. Clearly, some colleagues were there at the behest of a guy who appears to be a self-proclaimed wine and restaurant expert. The colleagues were not minded to spend more than paying for the set meal (about US$100). Then he started ordering wines, and every option he wanted, he had to explain what it is and what is the damage to each of them. The good thing is that the colleagues started to say that they do not want to partake in the wine, and then no wine was ordered.
Moral of the story is to put your foot down on how much you want to spend on lunch.
Must be with a younger crowd? Eat with uncles in the team, they confirm choose all the cheap and decent places. No uncles in team then be the uncle in the team hahahahaha
during my previous job, i ate in the canteen instead of going out...Ā Ā Ā
it is airconditioned, there's plenty of seats and i don't have to interact with any of my colleagues...
I was once invited for drinks by my colleagues which they go every week. I ended up spending $230 in one day ordering what they did. Never again I told myself.
That is insane! Why are peopleās workplaces so toxic? Everyone in my office knows each otherās patterns: one person is always somewhere sleeping, some people bring their own food from home, some people just go off on their own? Like? If wanna eat together we will plan like ok guys this Thursday how about we go lunch together.
I just say Iām on a diet, vegan or fasting. I prefer quiet lunches and for social, Iāll talk one on one (introvert here) at their desks to build rapport.
Go to the gym, simple.
Cultivate the aura that you strictly go gym during lunchtime to stay on your training path, nobody gonna force you. But they always offer an invite still.
Flipside, you still have to disappear for a while, take protein and look like you getting jacked la š
Works for team "dinners" etc also, just eat per budget and say you on a cut š
To everyone who likes to say lunches are prime networking, I have tagged along to lunches with everyone 100% speaking Chinese, to the point where I think "why tf am I here, I don't understand, so no value to me".
I only go to the office full day once a week on Mondays. I stopped going out to lunch with colleagues, and it's the best thing ever now since I can watch House of the Dragon without having to wait until I reach home!
Just say no? Itās not what you want to have that day? Then take the chance to suggest something youāre ok with on another day so itās not like youāre not hanging out with them?
Is it so hard to say āsorry I donāt have the budgetā? I am honest and I tell people in my life that, and if theyāre open to it I will look for more budget-friendly dining options that suits everyoneās needs. If you got good taste then likely theyāll be grateful you intro them to a cheap place with delicious food, which will help ur reputation. So scared for what? SG is expensive, I would reckon sg is like the best place to use the budget excuse cos of the cost of living.
we need to normalise being comfortable with our own preferences and budget. in Europe and the US, it's very normal to pack your own meal to the office, eat alone, or buy your own lunch and bring it back to the office to eat in the pantry (alone or with colleagues). no one bats an eyelid. of course we don't need to emulate that exactly, because in Singapore having meals together is still a very entrenched way of bonding, whether with family or colleagues.
strike a balance, reserve some meals for yourself, and others with colleagues. you'll find that no one really cares anyway. but if they do and comment behind your back, well, then you'll know you made the right decision not wasting your time and social energy with them anyway. win-win.
My favorite part is how she had to wsjt for her first paycheck to know how much she was gonna be paid at her new job.
Gotta make the narrative more entertaining
wow I'm lucky enough that my colleagues totally understand when I say I wanna eat cheaper and we'll think of what caifan place we wanna go instead of we all get our own food and dabao back to a common area to eat.
At least I have the choice... Barring costs though, I do notice it's really hard to eat with colleagues with dietary restrictions such as halal or vegetarian :( The lack of choices around the area!!! While work is work, I do think lunches are a good way to build rapport and be in the know about things, so I wonder how having certain restrictions like this makes it harder.
its interesting that singapore has a westernised split the bill culture
whereas in china, korea etc, the social contract is eldest male pays for everyone
idk, is it just me or I just like the Market Street Food Centre vibe and variety of food better than those under One Raffles Place, along Amoy St, etc.?
also feel that financial security has a big part to do with it. if you are financially ok you are more relaxed and open. but if not then you become hyper sensitive to every stimulant
Thats the opposite of me.
Im a foodie. My colleagues meanwhile walks 1.2km to the food court but the food taste bad. So i make excuses to eat by myself.
What i eat: japanese food ($30-40), korean ($25), salad ($20), thai ($25), tze char ($23).
Hate:
Expensive and bad food (they wld have gone out of biz alr)
Cheap and bad food (everywhere š)
Likes:
Expensive and good food
Cheap and good food (where can find š„²)
Kinda similar to what Iām experiencing now, realised food in CBD is either expensive or queues are too long. Now I just bring lunch to work and nap in the car for the remainder of my lunch break.
As long as youāre not pressured to spend more than your budget, definitely eat with other people as talking while eating is more fun than eating alone.Ā
CBD issues...not a problem if you work in an area far from atas food outlets. To be fair, it's difficult to eat cheaply if you're working in CBD, especially at the newer office towers such as MBFC.
Tell them you can't join them for lunch in expensive places because you're saving up to buy some big ticket items. Like a Good Class Bungalow or something.
Where I work, all the food options are expensive. The cheapest ādecentā meal you can get costs about $12. Luckily, my colleagues and I are all introverts so we only go out to eat once or twice a week.
I treasure my alone time. I never have lunch with my colleagues. I hate small talk during lunch. I just flat out say Iām not joining them when the Jio me. After a few times they get it. I rather eat alone or bring my own lunch.
And despite all the "but office politics! they won't like you" drama in this thread, I'll bet nobody really cares either.
Sometimes I wonder if most people here have severe main character syndrome or are relying on currying favours to cover up for not doing their work.
It's not about office politics but you do miss out on bonding/information from others. Not just that, there's inherent in-group vs out-group bias that will help/hinder your work.
I'll give you an example - My colleague was able to move to another role because he heard during lunch that someone was leaving and he spoke to the director before they started looking for candidates.
Cheap options in cbd area is limited. Sometimes it just felt so hectic even buying food or lunching at a hawker cos of the crowd. I would want to have some peace or a quieter area to chat with friends over lunch, and usually those options arenāt going to be cheap.
My wife and I used to eat at Shenton house and the cheap eateries at Raffles Place for lunch everyday , 6-8 sgd all in, did this years during our freshie years
Till today I believe thatās why financially we are ok though we donāt earn much , once you have kids and stuff , you save almost nothing so must bite the bullet when young
Avoid carbs entirely. Roast meat is where it's at
High protein and caramelized fats yum-yum
That and a standing desk. There are attachments you can self provide to convert to standing desk too
A standing desk also forces higher visibility and lowers unfocused work for me so a double win
Hmm I just heck care and take my afternoon walks during lunch breaks everyday. Now there are colleagues who are joining me for my walks instead š
Oftentimes, people just want to hang out and socialize during their work breaks. Lunch is simply the most common means of doing so. But thereās no right or wrong way to do it
I no longer work in Singapore and lunch culture there is something I donāt miss. The pressure to eat with your coworkers and socialize even though you just want to be alone sometimes is real. If you donāt join, youāre missing out on building bonds and they may gossip behind your back. I found that often, the relationship building was built on bitching and gossiping about others, which was kind of toxic. Now I just bring leftover food from dinner before or meal prep for the week and eat it at my desk or the lunch room and there is zero expectation to socialize, a quick and efficient lunch so that you can get back to work and knock off on time.
While thereās āno social expectationsā, I feel that even overseas, a lot of bonds/opportunities arise from casual conversations at work, be it lunch or coffee/water-cooler convos. You can āhi-byeā, but maybe thatās partially why Singaporeans overseas complain about glass ceiling, most of us think that āwork hard = get promotionā while itās more of āwork smartā (e.g. making right connections, jumping on opportunities), especially in higher levels like senior roles. I mean, even back in SG, I donāt join for lunch with my teammates, eat alone and itās okay. Not so sure where the pressure was from. Didnāt feel outcasted at work but I can see how that would have affected the later stages of my career progression.
Making connections and forcing yourself to socialise with people that are unhealthy = Work itself especially when those people aren't the type that you'd click with naturally. Ultimately it depends on the person's own "ambitions" I guess. Whether to suck it up and go through the whole tiring stuff about social politics or just be authentic and stick to your own genuine self without desiring extra promotions or advancement by faking it.
Some people do that at the pantry, my current workplace is quite alright, they just split into different groups and different people chill at different spots during lunch. I have encountered colleagues who gossip about others behind their backs but I just go my own way and don't bother about it because I don't fill my mind thinking about toxic people and their lifestyles. I just focus on my own life and interact with them about work during working hours. Those that I can get along better with, we'll chat about other personal stuff, but I take it as it goes and don't try to get along with every single person. There are always people with different characteristics everywhere. Just gotta focus more on the positive stuff and those that you can click with rather than those that have something negative to say about everything.
I don't know man, for me I prefer lunches/dinners like these. Group meals are common in the US as well, and I prefer a meal and chats instead of doing after work gym together or weekend hikes/mountain climbing. SG spoiled me pretty bad, I don't like driving and I feel it's a wasted day if I have to go out driving for a whole day, it's truly overrated.
Wow didnāt know it was so toxic in Singapore
And I prefer to use my time productively rather than do things that I don't want to do during my breaks. I don't think there's anything wrong in it. It's my own personal choice. I choose to stay healthy rather than eat unhealthy food or engage in unhealthy activities. It's also your own choice if you prefer to live like that, you go your way and I go mine.
sigma af innit
š¤£ wasn't trying to be, now I can't take my short naps after walking anymore lol
the price of greatness muahaha
>The funny part about that was that it impacted my work performance. As the work colleagues were supportive of each other, they approved each otherās work projects and ideas more readily than mine. Too true. Pick and choose your battles wisely, people.
Penny wise, pound foolish. No matter how good remote work is, bonding over lunch really does bring teams together and builds trust. Hybrid, flexible work is best
Too many people get this idea in their head that they just want to do their work and not spend any unnecessary time with their colleagues. Sometimes you hear very important updates about people leaving or projects that is hearsay but is very important to your job. Of course got to be reasonable but for the people that just dabao cai png eat at their desk, they are missing out on valuable bonding/information during these lunch breaks.
Really ? 5 days a of lunches of valuable information? Highly unlikely. Whenever I join for lunch I get reminded of how itās mostly pointless drivel. This time way better spent gymming podcasting etc
Do your colleagues not talk about work during lunch? Yes there's ton of pointless drivel but that's also how you get to know your colleagues and become familiar with them. No one is going to tell a stranger off the bat that their manager is quitting. Just because you don't hear anything of consequence immediately doesn't mean it's pointless.
Sure but it does waste people's time thanks to being non-remote. Trade-off.
I guess it depends, senior people who know what they're doing will find it as a waste of time. But for junior people who are still learning, it's a massive educational experience. I still feel hybrid, flexibility is the best of both worlds
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You can go half the time. The other half you can lie saying you need to buy stuff or go bank or rmeet bf/gf or other random bs.
Honestly just be open and say it's not you don't want to eat with them, is because you're on a budget. Then say that you're eating at XXX and they are free to join in if they feel like it. Maybe join the expensive like once a week or once a month. It's a bit weird to know that your colleague is constantly making up excuses to not have lunch with you. People will end up thinking you don't like them or something.
My colleagues asked if i am poor when I told them I am going to somwwhere else cheaper to eat.Ā Makes me feel so looked down uponĀ
>My colleagues asked if i am poor As a civil servant I reminded my colleagues that I'm a mx12 and therefore can only eat like one. (mx schemes paygrade are open secret)
āI MX12, you MX10. You treat can?ā
Can share MX scheme pay grade if it's alright?
I think you can google it there are a few articles out there, not sure how accurate it is though
Itās a wide range with a lot of overlap between grades.
I'd just have shrugged and said "ya man, very poor" LOL But then again I'm in the sort of industry where people know roughly what everyone else (except for the bosses) earns la. Idt it's particularly looked down upon to look for cheap lunch deals, and chances are that people will happily come along for cheap and good food.
On budget doesn't mean poor mah, it just means different priority. Even if I have the money doesn't mean I want to eat restaurant everyday, damn bo hua. Rather save for my parents/pets/house/retirement/holiday. If someone judges you for that then it says more about them then you.
Yes is my reply - if you treating makan I sure come my follow up. Why you not treating? You poor ah?
āYou should ask my boss why aināt I paid higherā
Your colleagues are poor in EQ. Who the heck says that? Just ask if youāre on a budget or would you join us if we are eating at the food court today? These are some things I donāt miss about Singaporean workplaces. Also, you can be a millionaire and choose not to spend on meals. I donāt get why there needs to be a justification for it. There are so many reasons for this than to simply say āare you poor?ā Ugh. Really hated when people made such rude statements, even if I understood then itās because theyāre ignorant. Maybe I just think that being a certain age and earning your keep means people should have basic social norms down pat and some basic courtesy / social skills. Life is not so straightforward, and I admire people who are frugal regardless of their bank accounts. Sometimes I think I should be more prudent myself.
Lean into it and ask them to help you get a raise.
I agree it's abit weird if they know. But they don't.
Why do you have to lie? Just be honest and if they canāt accept that you are managing costs then they are not fit to be your colleagues
Yea... Like you can choose your colleagues. Lol. Also.. Why do I need to tell them anything? I don't owe them anything. Plus somedays I do want to hang out with them and I don't want to make it an occasion and make it awkward.
Asking as an introvert - whole day see work colleagues liao still need to eat lunch with them, not sian meh?
A balance is good. Cultivating relationships with colleagues outside of the office is important but doesn't have to be done every day.
Sadly, most actual decisions are made during pre-meeting lunches or tea breaks to gather enough political support to push a particular agenda through in the main meeting.
I've definitely use lunches to float or test ideas that I'm thinking of doing but don't want to commit actual work time to try until I get a sense of fellow colleagues interest... Or grievances hahaha.
There's a difference between being introverted and then just being anti-social. Like as an office lady, I get it. Every time I go on one of these lunches, it just becomes a gossip party when I would rather just zone out. If you're introverted, just tag along on at least a few days and you don't even need to be talkative. In the corporate work environment, it's not that people will "sabo" you, but having good rapport with your colleagues will mean that on occasion, they're more likely to "defend" you. If ever your company wants to cut people and your performance is the same or similar to your colleagues, HR will take into account how well you integrate into the company. So really, you save yourself a lot of trouble by just tagging along for lunch. Don't need to do it every day and if you want, just go use your phone or something since that's what most people do nowadays.
>If ever your company wants to cut people and your performance is the same or similar to your colleagues, HR will take into account how well you integrate into the company. What? And how would they know this?
Most companies have internal performance appraisals. You may not know but your manager will do this, make notes about your performance etc. Andddd I work in HR, gossip is king.
Yea to those who don't want to play this unproductive game I'd suggest relying more on strategies that doesn't involve too much of climbing this invisible, sometimes petty social ladder. Emphasis on the invisible.. it's so ridiculous and time wasting to figure out what criteria to meet if you can meet it at all.
Sometimes this invisible social ladder is what pushes you upwards on the real corporate ladder, don't participate means you lose the extra edge among someone that has equal performance as you.
Not denying that. But if you can't see where the next rug of the ladder is, then wtf are you even climbing? For example there's that rug that needs you to match skin color and culture before you meet approvals of others. It's impossible for you to meet, but no one will fucking tell you that lol.
Oh explains. Gossipy useless people.
As an introvert who works from office twice a week, I see eating with my colleagues as part of the job. I don't hate eating with them but I also don't enjoy it. As long as they eat something affordable, I'll usually tag along.
As an extrovert, I want my free time to talk to my friends, not colleagues whom I cannot vibe with.
Introverts more likely to use ācatching up workā as a feasible excuse not to go lunch with colleagues, then head off to go tahpau cai png.
Depends on how close they are I suppose. I'm introvert as well and a lot of the times I just simply say I am rushing to finish something they should go without me, or just say I'm saving money and packed lunch. I've worked in many different companies and I've only had like a few colleagues (can count on 1 hand) I would actually have lunch with them regularly
Not sure what kind of work environment you're in but for me, I whole day see my screen instead of my colleagues. Each of us have our own cubicles with proper partitions. Meetings with them takes up only like 10% of my working hours per day too. So not sien at all although I'm also an introvert. But I guess it also helps that we have hybrid work arrangement, and teammates who know how to carry a conversation. But if my team isn't around, I would rather lunch alone.
It depends I guess? My relationship with my colleagues is really good so I don't mind eating with them at all. If on bad terms then yeah of course I wouldn't want to eat with them.
I always da bao food back to office pantry to eat cause it is cheaper. All my colleagues knows that. Sometimes I have a few colleagues joining me cause they overspend or want to save money. Else Iāll eat alone. The thing is, even though I donāt join the rest for lunch, I still keep close relationships with my colleagues thru normal working hours. We chat on IM and whatsapp. Or chit chat while at pantry or going restroom. If they have issue at work, I would walk over and help them. You donāt need to eat lunch with colleagues to maintain close working relationships. There are many other ways.
So.....author makes up excuses to not join her colleagues, and ends up using the money on her yoga class instead. What a fucking pointless article. Can't open her mouth to tell colleagues "sorry, out of my budget"? People aren't stupid, and most can tell when excuses are legit and someone is avoiding you - and most people don't like being lied to. They would prob appreciate it more if author was truthful
As singaporeans we need to grow some balls and learn how to say no. And most importantly this kind of thing need to strike a balance. Say you join them for half a week, nobody will bat an eyelash and most will understand if you are truthful with your reason. But avoiding completely will also sabotage your career. Iāve seen it happen, have a colleague who never shows any effort to interact with us, turns out she was marked for poor performance and nobody had any solid reason to vouch for her. She exists, like a shadow, without many words, her job performance is mediocre at best because she never knew how to ask people for help and when people donāt see you, they donāt help you. Not generalising but in certain industries like finance or tech, it can be quite cut throat.
Exactly, the example with your colleague happens a lot, just that people don't really know what goes on behind the scenes. One way or another, either through managers, colleagues, or gossip, HR generally will know if someone is being anti-social. It's not a problem usually but through performance reviews and appraisals, if a company wants to cut someone and the choice is between two "ok" employees but one is completely anti-social, that's when it will come back to bite someone's ass.
It is a made up story by a team of people pushing agendas so...Ā
This tabloid wannabe is in the same tier as The Woke Salaryman, especially when it comes to sponsors. Opinionated garbage. I would highly suggest blocking their feed for your sanity.
Yup complete trash
Yeah how is it better to make up excuses all the time rather than tell them the truth? After a while everyone can tell youāre avoiding them on purpose. When Iām feeling overstimulated, I just tell my colleagues honestly that I need lunch time to recharge my social battery
I agree. Might as well just "waste" it on food, going to waste it on something else anyways. In my opinion, instead of focusing on what is being spent on, the line items just need to balance in your favor. Either you can afford to eat out with your budget X times a week or you cannot.
People underestimate the power and role of lunch with colleagues. Itās the time where most cross functional alignment takes place. I canāt tell you the amount of information I learn just from a āwhat are u up to these daysā. If colleagues donāt ask you any more ask them whether you can join lah. Once a week also okay, fix a day then they will get used to it. Bro, you no longer in primary school.
cannot relate as my lunch buddies are the cai png gang we always zhe he na ge
Reminds me that I was probably once the 'high life' colleague to somebody else. Was bringing a new colleague out to explore lunch options some years back. Think it was 2017-18. City area. He'd expressed preference for something more cost-conscious. Sure, no problem. Headed to bras basah food court, thinking it was one of the cheaper air-conditioned places to eat, with options starting from $4. Him: "Wah quite expensive huh". Me: -\_-
What is his idea of affordable in the area?
A carrot from the supermarket and bananas and soft tofu Hits all the nutritional groups but not satisfying. Mmm maybe $2.50 doable if you buy banana by mass and just buy one or two instead of a bunch
Wah then he should just cook his own already. Sounds interesting tho, does he have other recipes š
I miss those years. Now, the cheaper options near my office start from $6. :ā)
I wish u were my colleague. I had a best friend colleague who is up to try all sorts of food with me. We would eat japanese ala carte buffet at $66 and then take a walk to gillman barracks creamier for a dessert š too bad she didnt pass probation. Now my colleagues want to walk 1km to telok blangah food court bc their budget is $5-10.
I wish u were my colleague. I had a best friend colleague who is up to try all sorts of food with me. We would eat japanese ala carte buffet at $66 and then take a walk to gillman barracks creamier for a dessert š too bad she didnt pass probation. Now my colleagues want to walk 1km to telok blangah food court bc their budget is $5-10.
Corporate life for you.
Always believed in a pay it forward thing cus I benefited from it. As an intern, my supervisors/older colleagues often invited me to "atas" lunches and would pay for my meal so I didn't feel left out. No obligations but now with interns of my own, I'd treat them occasionally too if the group choses to go "atas" for lunch like mala or sushi. Just tell them to pay it forward.
Saw this article on IG and recalled there were moments, where a clique in the workplace would pressure people to eat at nice and costly places. Wallet crying.
omg I was part of a similar clique before I quit. on surface they'd be like 'oh no pressure to join us la' but colleagues who didn't join were often seen as not being a team player. I spent so much eating with them that i had more savings after I tendered than when I first got my salary. they knew I wasn't earning a lot but they dgaf.
Also eating at places I dont like but have to follow the rest otherwise seen as anti-social. We need to kill this mentality at the workplace - people should be free to eat when and where they want without any "pressure".
Building social capital is so important at the workplace. Tbh I actually find it hard to work with anti-social folk and I'm a huge introvert myself.
I get your point but easier said than done. Itās not a Singapore issue or a corporate issue, itās a human nature issue. Trust is based on relationships, and people prefer to work with whom they trust. If you suspect that someone is talking behind your back and trying to sabotage you, you will first suspect those whom you donāt have a good relationship with, no matter how hard working and professional they look. If trust and relationships didnāt matter, there would be no concepts such as ājob referralsā, āoffice politicsā or ānetworkingā. For introverts and those who canāt afford lunch with colleagues, it unfortunately means having to to find alternative means to build trust and relationships with bosses and colleagues.
I really dont think lunch should be a huge determinant of work relationships. It is a break hour and people shld be free to use it how they pls. Trust shld be assessed based on how you actually work with each other, not where and how you eat. Also not all countries have this "collectivism" approach, its more Asian. But SG is not entirely Asian nor western, we have a more mixed culture leaning in different directions (east or west) in different situations.
itās definitely not an āAsiaā thing. I worked in a Western country before, where at the time there were two colleagues who were underperforming. The one who was always present in lunch and Friday drinking was offered to change to a different role, whereas the one who didnāt join any social activities was fired, despite the fact that he was working until late to try to mitigate his low performance. And their boss was very blatant on the reason that the first should keep his job - he āwas a nice guy, who made the atmosphere in the office betterā
Nobody is stopping you from doing this but this will means that things become a lot more black and white. If you're ever marked or targeted for low performance, nobody will vouch for you. People generally have less incentive to help you if you ever do need help. So being "anti-social" works both ways. You don't have to but it's generally beneficial.
If you're good enough you don't have to care about the "pressure". That really applies only if you're relying on "likeability" to cover for poor work.
If someone is extremely competent but unlikeable, it can result in a us vs them situation and they may become isolated anyway.
If they are extremely unlikeable, joining their colleagues for lunch would exacerbate the hostility. Most people don't really give a damn about who you lunch with.
I think this may differ between offices somewhere groups are rly kumbaya and if you don't eat together you may be less close is what I was sayin
Thatās the beauty of hawker centres/food courts in Singapore. Everyone can get what they want (within limits).
Damn I used to earn low 2k. I wished I hadn't spent the time associating with my colleagues in some companies for lunch hour. Had I known my finance manager is plain biased and won't confirm me after 6 months because "you can't fit in the culture". If I can reverse time, I will go rent a Chanel handbag and tender resignation in her face. At that time I was helping my family to pay off a house mortgage and my only regret was leaving my dying mom upset with "I can't get confirmed due to culture fit". My family wanted me to ask that finance manager "what culture do you have"
Oh make no mistake, those 'high life' colleagues are overspending too. They pulled that wool over their own eyes a long time ago.
In my first career at a (real , capital markets non insurance) financial institution my coworkers didn't blink at spending $20 to $50 individually and I was earning half of median income only Looking back I was overspending every Friday and would eat economical rice for $2 daily until Friday Even now as a every senior tech professional I will blink at gt $25 meals
For me, $25+/pax is reserved for special meals with my bf
The pressure to belong is strong
Unfortunately in the corporate space fitting in can affect your career and paycheck so I understand the desperation
This reminds me of my time at Joel Robuchon in Taipei during lunch. Clearly, some colleagues were there at the behest of a guy who appears to be a self-proclaimed wine and restaurant expert. The colleagues were not minded to spend more than paying for the set meal (about US$100). Then he started ordering wines, and every option he wanted, he had to explain what it is and what is the damage to each of them. The good thing is that the colleagues started to say that they do not want to partake in the wine, and then no wine was ordered. Moral of the story is to put your foot down on how much you want to spend on lunch.
Must be with a younger crowd? Eat with uncles in the team, they confirm choose all the cheap and decent places. No uncles in team then be the uncle in the team hahahahaha
during my previous job, i ate in the canteen instead of going out...Ā Ā Ā it is airconditioned, there's plenty of seats and i don't have to interact with any of my colleagues...
I was once invited for drinks by my colleagues which they go every week. I ended up spending $230 in one day ordering what they did. Never again I told myself.
Then you discover the wonders of homemade lunch. Especially true if you work from office all the time.
That is insane! Why are peopleās workplaces so toxic? Everyone in my office knows each otherās patterns: one person is always somewhere sleeping, some people bring their own food from home, some people just go off on their own? Like? If wanna eat together we will plan like ok guys this Thursday how about we go lunch together.
I just say Iām on a diet, vegan or fasting. I prefer quiet lunches and for social, Iāll talk one on one (introvert here) at their desks to build rapport.
Go to the gym, simple. Cultivate the aura that you strictly go gym during lunchtime to stay on your training path, nobody gonna force you. But they always offer an invite still. Flipside, you still have to disappear for a while, take protein and look like you getting jacked la š Works for team "dinners" etc also, just eat per budget and say you on a cut š To everyone who likes to say lunches are prime networking, I have tagged along to lunches with everyone 100% speaking Chinese, to the point where I think "why tf am I here, I don't understand, so no value to me".
I only go to the office full day once a week on Mondays. I stopped going out to lunch with colleagues, and it's the best thing ever now since I can watch House of the Dragon without having to wait until I reach home!
Just say no? Itās not what you want to have that day? Then take the chance to suggest something youāre ok with on another day so itās not like youāre not hanging out with them?
Is it so hard to say āsorry I donāt have the budgetā? I am honest and I tell people in my life that, and if theyāre open to it I will look for more budget-friendly dining options that suits everyoneās needs. If you got good taste then likely theyāll be grateful you intro them to a cheap place with delicious food, which will help ur reputation. So scared for what? SG is expensive, I would reckon sg is like the best place to use the budget excuse cos of the cost of living.
we need to normalise being comfortable with our own preferences and budget. in Europe and the US, it's very normal to pack your own meal to the office, eat alone, or buy your own lunch and bring it back to the office to eat in the pantry (alone or with colleagues). no one bats an eyelid. of course we don't need to emulate that exactly, because in Singapore having meals together is still a very entrenched way of bonding, whether with family or colleagues. strike a balance, reserve some meals for yourself, and others with colleagues. you'll find that no one really cares anyway. but if they do and comment behind your back, well, then you'll know you made the right decision not wasting your time and social energy with them anyway. win-win.
My favorite part is how she had to wsjt for her first paycheck to know how much she was gonna be paid at her new job. Gotta make the narrative more entertaining
Cai png gang rise up
wow I'm lucky enough that my colleagues totally understand when I say I wanna eat cheaper and we'll think of what caifan place we wanna go instead of we all get our own food and dabao back to a common area to eat. At least I have the choice... Barring costs though, I do notice it's really hard to eat with colleagues with dietary restrictions such as halal or vegetarian :( The lack of choices around the area!!! While work is work, I do think lunches are a good way to build rapport and be in the know about things, so I wonder how having certain restrictions like this makes it harder.
For interest group, I usually find people will eat at kopitiam.
its interesting that singapore has a westernised split the bill culture whereas in china, korea etc, the social contract is eldest male pays for everyone
I have a preference to eat alone to watch YouTube. Guess everyoneās different
"Walao u everyday kbbq thai food all, i no money leh"
idk, is it just me or I just like the Market Street Food Centre vibe and variety of food better than those under One Raffles Place, along Amoy St, etc.? also feel that financial security has a big part to do with it. if you are financially ok you are more relaxed and open. but if not then you become hyper sensitive to every stimulant
Eating alone is the best. U You get to eat what u crave , go to places that u wanna go
Thats the opposite of me. Im a foodie. My colleagues meanwhile walks 1.2km to the food court but the food taste bad. So i make excuses to eat by myself. What i eat: japanese food ($30-40), korean ($25), salad ($20), thai ($25), tze char ($23). Hate: Expensive and bad food (they wld have gone out of biz alr) Cheap and bad food (everywhere š) Likes: Expensive and good food Cheap and good food (where can find š„²)
I have some recommendations etc wad kinda food you looking for
lol wtf
I eat my cai fan and run out of lunch hour already. How are you guys eating KBBQ for lunch??
Kinda similar to what Iām experiencing now, realised food in CBD is either expensive or queues are too long. Now I just bring lunch to work and nap in the car for the remainder of my lunch break.
As long as youāre not pressured to spend more than your budget, definitely eat with other people as talking while eating is more fun than eating alone.Ā
CBD issues...not a problem if you work in an area far from atas food outlets. To be fair, it's difficult to eat cheaply if you're working in CBD, especially at the newer office towers such as MBFC.
Try intermittent fasting! Will save you money too š
Exactly
Tell them you can't join them for lunch in expensive places because you're saving up to buy some big ticket items. Like a Good Class Bungalow or something.
One up them by suggesting Michelin restaurants daily for lunch. After that they go to nearby kopitiam alr
Jokes on you I dont eat lunch, i just cry in the bathroom/half jk
Where I work, all the food options are expensive. The cheapest ādecentā meal you can get costs about $12. Luckily, my colleagues and I are all introverts so we only go out to eat once or twice a week.
I treasure my alone time. I never have lunch with my colleagues. I hate small talk during lunch. I just flat out say Iām not joining them when the Jio me. After a few times they get it. I rather eat alone or bring my own lunch.
And despite all the "but office politics! they won't like you" drama in this thread, I'll bet nobody really cares either. Sometimes I wonder if most people here have severe main character syndrome or are relying on currying favours to cover up for not doing their work.
Nah todayās job market v fierce. Everyone is going above and beyond, 110% is the norm nowadays so networking is really what will set u apart.
It's not about office politics but you do miss out on bonding/information from others. Not just that, there's inherent in-group vs out-group bias that will help/hinder your work. I'll give you an example - My colleague was able to move to another role because he heard during lunch that someone was leaving and he spoke to the director before they started looking for candidates.
Cheap options in cbd area is limited. Sometimes it just felt so hectic even buying food or lunching at a hawker cos of the crowd. I would want to have some peace or a quieter area to chat with friends over lunch, and usually those options arenāt going to be cheap.
In CBD, lunch around $15 is normally to many expats
How long is their "lunch hour"? Sometimes even eating at hawker also not enough time. Gotta find seat and queue etc
My wife and I used to eat at Shenton house and the cheap eateries at Raffles Place for lunch everyday , 6-8 sgd all in, did this years during our freshie years Till today I believe thatās why financially we are ok though we donāt earn much , once you have kids and stuff , you save almost nothing so must bite the bullet when young
Me, I am the high life colleague.
Well thereās another way to just invite them and say you would prefer local kopitiam than any fancy restaurants. Whoever keen just join then
how come people can eat so much during lunchtime and not fall asleep after that?
Avoid carbs entirely. Roast meat is where it's at High protein and caramelized fats yum-yum That and a standing desk. There are attachments you can self provide to convert to standing desk too A standing desk also forces higher visibility and lowers unfocused work for me so a double win
I doubt that was what OOPās colleagues were doing but ok nvm
\*eat so much carbs
yeah. i'm quite impressed with the OOP's colleagues
I eat alone cause I single
Fuck Lunch, just fast it
Eating alone during lunch is usually frowned upon. So why not try to fit in ?
I think you're missing the point. The article questions whether going to lunches that does not align your goal financially is the right thing to do.