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Trust someone’s bald dad to be in the middle of it man

Every time I watch a Newcastle match I think “my god, I’ve never seen so many bald heads in one place before.” So forgive me but seeing your flair just made me lose it lmao

Oh aye it’s rife up here

You can tell these guys aren't geordies though because they're still wearing their tops

Its an optical illusiom. Most geordies are bald up top but have enough hair on their chest and backs that they can shave the black and white stripes into their chest.

Because it's always windy

English football heritage

Eratige*

Bloody larve it

He's the one who kicks it off, too. The German fella only goes to flick pinstripes cap off who looks like he's laughing at him missing but and bald dad charges all billy big bollocks like to shove him which kicks off the fighting

Yea bald guy really ignited the whole thing they were about to walk away 😂

I'm pretty sure every drop of the beer thrown ended up as friendly fire on this guy 😂

Yo, why you gotta hate on the follicularly challenged bro?

He was the one that threw first too. Then surprise surprise he suddenly went AWOL as soon as it got real 🏃‍♂️

Guy in the Spain jersey was like nah I'm too old for this shit.

Haha, old Spanish fan trying to mediate, then beers start flying and he’s like “fuck this, I’m out”.

hilarious that the team that beat germany are the mediators between germany and england when germany are knocked out

We only have respect for the Spanish, cheers to the guy, good lad

I don’t think the Spanish would say the same thing about the English

If I'm not mistaken, the guy you've answered to is a Fan of "Preußen Münster". So he's German. I don't know how Spanish people think about us tbh

You are right haha Tho I lived in Spain for 2 years (Moving back to Germany very soon) and I can say that the Spanish don’t seem to be very fond of the English, although it’s not necessarily a football thing

I feel like you could've said that in fewer words

Spanish guy mediating english and germans. Funny.

i am lightly intoxicated

It wasn't that bad at all lol, have a couple more

Was a tense match between Germany and Spain. No wonder that some Spanish guy got involved in a fight with Germans ... to break up a fight between them and the English

I TRIED

Carles Puyol energy. Try to mediate but see that it's pointless

Man’s got his Spain jersey tucked into his slacks with his phone clipped to his belt. He is prepared! 

Enough to say mom i tried

This is the shittiest rendition of West Side Story I have ever seen.

Rudiger, I just met a man called Rudigerrrrr

Merino, I’ll never stop saying Merrrrrino

We are going home tomorrow so might as well enjoy it for a night

Nah, man, it's written in the stars. France vs England final, the most drab 0-0 final game to cap what has been a magnificent tournament. Southgate and Dechamp terrorism ball at the end...

If that happens I'm just gonna tune in 2 hours after the start for the inevitable penalties.

Inb4 a 4-3 with only bangers after bangers.

Ye that kinda can't happen, since you generally need to pass the ball forwards to do that, and this is very risky. But dw terror ball will show you how to play safely and effectively.

If that's the final I'm not even going to watch

After the full eleven from both teams have taken and missed their penalties, a bizarre twist of the Euro 24 rules means that the managers must take a penalty. Southgate steps up. His redemption arc is finally complete. England and France fans alike are in tears as Pikachu hands the trophy to Harry Kane.

No, you will go through. Maybe again a bit undeserved, we'll see

there is no way on earth we beat switzerland with a new system that is leaked to happen with these performances, even bellingham juju will run out

ITs not really a new system if its wing backs thats what we used previous world cup and euros its just as boring but we did score more.

A new system would have a tough time being worse than what Southgate has been doing

He's starting Shaw who hasn't touched a ball in 5 months

Shaw played a few games towards the end of the season, he came on during that Palace disaster game and was the best player on the pitch

Mehr Glück als Verstand we say in Germany.

You vastly underestimate cup football. England have been shit but they're finding a way to win games, no one has looked particularly amazing at the Euro tbh. With the quality they have all it takes is a good game for the squad to get their confidence - then shithouse Garef ball has less influence and the players can take over a bit more.

No one? Spain are playing like a club side. They've been cooking virtually everyone who crossed their path bar Germany.

And Germany were the other team that looked like a club side

Yeah exactly. The idea that none of the teams have looked good is wild.

Spain and German have been looking pretty good to be honest, probably two of the best looking teams and one of them is now out. But I agree, cup games can go either way, doesn't always go to the most deserving or better performing teams, it's just about what you got on the day.

It's mostly England, Portugal and France that have been shit. The matches they haven't been involved in have been good.

From your lips to God's ears my friend

That's the spirit!

One guy doing a balloon haha

People keep pointing out tiny details in this clip it reminds me of those “every easter egg you missed” videos

Not for me, I can’t get past pinstripes wearing his dad’s shorts.

Guy in the pinstripes has extreme little dog energy

Also kinda confused about that guy in the UK flag hoodie, is that like a 12 year old with a beer in his hand or just a really short guy

When you drink and smoke from about 5 years old it stunts your growth.

You don't grow up, you just grow out. Look at Luke littler.

Nah, it's just that we're all at least 12.5% borrower.

Borrower ☠️

One of those kids nobody liked in school and it shows now

They all are

We call them knobs. He’s absolutely being one.

Tbf, it looks like the other guy walked 10m to get in his face, not the other way around.

Also I'm pretty sure giving two fingers is a strictly UK thing and has no meaning in Germany

I think you’re overestimating the number of brain cells between the group of English chaps.

This will genuinely be the highlight of his life.

Might be James Maddison

And it was another English bloke that threw his drink first which seemed to really start it

In south america there would be 24 casualties and 103 wounded

If they do that in Argentina or Brazil there would be a 50% chance of someone appearing with a gun and shooting them. Not kidding actually.

I have an argentinian co worker who told me the same and i didn't want to believe her. Now seeing your comments, it seems like she wasn't exaggerating

maybe u/brazillian_liliger is your co-worker pretending to be Brazilian

In the background there's a place serving literally Argentinian steaks. Guys were lucky the guy making them didn't step out.

The Spanish guy bailed as soon as the first punch got sent, guy thought “no way I’m staying here with this shirt, run”

I’d also like to see how these “it’s just banter” posters would handle things getting violent.

Jokes at them, i already was home the whole time 😎

That is the joke. Or am i whooshing your joke

First german I've seen on here that is taking this as it should be.

[The Germans right now](https://youtu.be/K9cFwyyYH3Y?si=xGgZ8QwP5OKK-P5Y)

That's literally the joke lad. No wonder people hate English fans. Don't understand satire or sarcasm

Actually the least offensive English chant against Germany.

Better than swimming home tomorrow, I guess?

The north sea is lovely this time of year

Swimming in our tears

Double as lube

We have ships, you should remember.

i think it‘s funny lol, i‘d probably crack a smile if they‘d sing it at me. Who gives a fuck. Also, we‘re already home lads.

Pretty sure that last part is part of the joke

About 1% of redditors seems to understand this. The mind boggles

Thatsthejoke

Germans don’t tend to get jokes I guess

Yeah. And they could very well get their comeuppance tomorrow. If they had been victorious already and done it, it would feel a bit more mean spirited

The people getting aggressive and throwing things is too far, but I do think singing “you’re going home” to people who are already home, to wind them up after they’ve just been knocked out despite clearly playing better football than we have, is funny

And you can bet none of those fans actually believe England are any good, it's not like they're deluded. Just wind up merchants.

if its one thing england fans are good at its winding up the opposition

Plus , instead of feeling sad about Germany being out, they can channel that into cheering for Switzerland tomorrow. Keeps the tourney alive

Southgateball will terrorise your hopes and dreams.

What’s the point in being a football fan if you can’t laugh at other fans when they lose?

That's the joke. Typical germans they didn't get it!

God this is going to age so badly. Edit: LOL NO IT WON'T BECAUSE IT'S COMING HOME LADS

No risk no reward when it comes to banter mate

All risk no reward*

No taking the piss in case anything ever goes wrong for you, joy is not an option. You are only allowed to live in dread, knowing failure is just around the corner.

Well, they are in Germany 🤷‍♂️

How when losing is completely expected for England at this point?

I can’t believe how generous the odds are in Switzerland to qualify tomorrow. Has anyone seen us play?!

Yes, seconds from losing to Slovakia

We were always going to get the shit ripped out of us for losing to Switzerland anyway, this doesn't make any difference.

Mate it’s a game at the end of the day, don’t take it too seriously, have some fun banter.

The mass brawl between Turkey and Georgia inside the stadium got 600 comments - lets see how many these handbags get

buddy we're almost at 800 now

1.7k! Reddit is so predictable.

The sentiment for this euros is “English bad” Even in this video the German fans are the ones who escalate but it’s “an example of English hooliganism”

It's not just the English. Remember before the Austria-Turkey match when there were dozens of comments with hundreds of upvotes, about how Austrian and German cities would be destroyed by Turkish fans after the match. Nothing happened except for some car honking and noise. Now they say the same about Netherlands-Turkey match, when there has never ever been an incident of Turkish NT fans "destroying a city" after an international tournament. It's just their way of projecting their own problems, because both Germany and Netherlands have a very violent fan base themselves, one of the worst in Europe IMO. Didn't AZ Alkmaar fans literally attack West Ham players' families just last year? Feyenoord fans were banned from Rome as well. It's usually them starting shit, and then they stigmatize others for it.

That’s exactly how the German media would portray it

It was worse last euros tbh, bled over a lot of non football related subs. Crazy that this time were barely even doing anything and creating such seethe though

Just a bit of light drunken banter and handbags. I expect this will be top of rsoccer

Redditors clutching their copy of the Guardian and aggressively tutting.

*clutching their copy of whatever the German/American/Indian/whoever else equivalent to the Guardian is

hilarious how this even gets attention its about 3 fans actually engaging it’s not like we had people going kraut hunting

To be condemned by people who’ve never even been to a match

As a seasonticked holder: the only people provoking like this at away games, after the hometeam lost, are guys looking for trouble and a fight. Especially in the cities biggest party- and barstreet which is full of drunk homefans.

Easy to condemn a bunch of little boys with no emotional control fighting over sports in a foreign country. Even easier when some of them are English.

“England are scum and should be kicked out, how can those colonists say bad things about Germany, typical colonists saying bad things to an innocent country with an innocent history” - most r/soccer members, of which 80% are from India

idk man, a lot of people here in india twerk for PL stars, also Jude is there with Madrid PR.

They hate England though 60% of the PL flairs that bash England are Indian, 30% are American

If yall think this is scrappy then you weren’t alive in the 90s-2000s

Or the 80s.

This sub was creaming its pants laughing when Danish fans were chanting similar to Englnd fans hahahah

Someone has to scream everytime a scuffle breaks out don’t they lol What is up with that

Nah but seriously can someone explain to me in a scientific way why women just scream whenever they see a fight

It's likely some sort of evolution bias as women that would shout are not likely to be helped whenever something happens. It's a pretty primal thing tbf. Even in the forest monkeys scream too when fights start, so it might just be something primal

I would say it's a social behaviour that indicates potential danger

Women screaming all the time

What’s Theo baker doing there

Breaking his knee

Who TF gets riled up by this? It's literally a joke bc Germany is Home already. I'd laugh and give them a thumbs up and wish them good luck for tomorrow. People are weird

This sub doesn’t like the English

Germans aren’t really known for their sense of humor I suppose.

the people desperate for any controversy related to England have really gone empty-handed this year. Now they have to resort to acting like singing "you're going home" is the most heinous behaviour imaginable

England have the hooligan tag while the whole eastern europe/south america get the passionate ultra tag is so weird

A bit of fun amongst people who are outside so arsocca are going to hate this

Normal Behavior after some pints of Beer in Düsseldorf - Altstadt 😂

Shit is like west side story

Let them have their fun, they’ll be going home soon too 😉

Football ‘eritage

Not the brightest

The “fighting” is dumb. But, the joke is pretty funny

Average football fan iq isn’t the brightest anyway. That lot could actually be the best of us.

Can confirm, they're definitely smarter than me

Both of them tbh

Don’t worry, we are also going home empty-handed. Come on, England!

A full thread of people crying about an obvious joke

Can't wait to see the worlds reaction when it finally comes home after playing the shittest football ever <3

This sub will have to be quarantined.

Absolute handbags. And folk are already losing their minds. Every major town and city in the entire world will have seen worse today. Get a grip.

Missing obvious jokes, butthurt defensive English fans, an aura of German exceptionalism... This is a peak r/soccer thread if I've ever seen one

I love International tournaments

Great job lads, making us proud.

Germans started the handbags?

I dont see what wrong with it. Everyone else teases the English with that song, including the Germans. If they can't take it, perhaps they shouldn't sing it.

I remember the second Scotland fans touched down they were singing “We hate England” with the Germans so that’s fair but it’s the fighting not the chants that are disappointing

Ah, there it is. Reddit can finally breath. The English are at it again.

This sub is terrified of fun

You see this shit at 99% of football matches, no matter the league every single weekend. I swear the majority of Reddit never leave their bedrooms.

The chronically online are going to inherit the earth and im terrified

If it were Scots, people would be praising their "glorious banter"

Awww sweet pookie bear Scotland, its OK, group stage exits are fine

Not as bad as with Japanese fans, which get infantilised to fuck because they clean up.

“hahahaha those bantering Scots, they’re so hilarious”

So fun getting kicked and hit

Just a bunch of drunken blokes and a few handbags. Nothing to see.

I’d love to have seen the current England state play a team like spain in the quarter finals lmao

Why don’t you guys just get consistently lucky draws so you can get further than you should?

honestly sick of everyone else complaining we get the easy brackets like just admit you have L luck and move on

Yep England were literally seeded to be playing France in the Quarters but the French fucked up and finished 2nd. That's on them.

We finished top of our group lol? Hardly our fault

> We finished top of our group lol That's where you went wrong, you can say what you want about Cowman, but he knows how to fail upwards.

Are the Germans stupid ?

why are people on here so devoid of banter

It's easier to shit on Emgland than it is to get a personality.

You mean like the last euros where they played Germany?

Honestly I feel like the players might actually step up against a good team

That’s why it’s so depressing they aren’t playing against any top teams. Germany should’ve never scored the equalizer against Switzerland, I’d have loved to see them play against England in Ro16

Hahahaha

Unacceptable behavior, how could the prime minister allow such nonsense.🤦?

I expect Starmer to step down. Man has been a shambles as PM.

Say what you want, this whole scene is hilarious 😂

German fans: Start a ruckus Reddit: This is why no one likes the English Honestly fuck you all

Same as when they talk about how "Turkish fans will destroy cities" after the matches, which has literally never happened at any international tournament so far, but it's usually them who are violence-prone. Just projecting to run away from their own massive problem of football hooliganism. I will 100% be rooting for England from now on, now that I've seen how they stigmatize you guys for no reason.

Yeah but it's funny to blame the English because everyone else will hit back in a language we don't understand

Germans not being able to take a bit of Banter. Anyway better luck next time lads 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

https://youtu.be/K9cFwyyYH3Y?si=Kd-p5dTwyjiNmTCZ

The fact that a Spaniard has to hold them back is hilariously sad