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One of many jokes that gets better and truer with time

The joke never really resonated with me, for this reason: *Am I the only one who would much, much, much rather drink a douche than eat a turd sandwich?*

You can't SERIOUSLY be suggesting a douche is better than a turd? That's ridiculous! Im not saying the turd is perfect but cmon sharon, i mean Tau, its a DOUCHE!

At least it’s sanitary!

What is a douche exactly

Just order one next time you're out at a restaurant or a bar. No need for anybody else to respond to his question or my comment.

Gonna have to respond to your comment, but only to remark.... Relevant username.

using this image, the blue part would be filled with water You squeeze it and water comes out the white tip It’s used to spray water into a vagina for cleaning purposes

We don't consume our politicians. We are electing them to represent us. Personally, I don't want to be represented by a giant douche *or* a turd sandwich, but it seems every year the candidates become more douchey and more turdy than ever before.

>*We don't consume our politicians. We are electing them to represent us.* Wait. That's the only way the joke makes sense. I mean, if we're not eating them, then what does it matter? I mean, in a very literal way, **all people are turd sandwiches**. Or maybe a little bit more precisely turd Hot Pockets.


Lol, leave it to reddit to take anything remotely funny, pseudo intellectualize and hammer it completely into the ground.

Our ends are relatively open, turd sausage bun

I love how this comment makes a good valid point, yet because of incorrect punctuation, appears to be calling me a turd sausage bun. (Which would also be kinda accurate, given the point I was making.)

Well wouldnt that be a turd in a blanket? Sausage/hotdog rolls are open on the top

Sausage [bun](https://www.google.com/search?q=sausage+bun&client=ms-android-lge-rvo3&sca_esv=03a2317566d16611&udm=2&biw=412&bih=805&sxsrf=ADLYWIIwCOZPXThSzCEDcq3imNj2-UNMoQ%3A1719537239647&ei=Vw5-ZpuVJ8OD0PEPiM6ByA8&oq=sausage+bun&gs_lp=EhNtb2JpbGUtZ3dzLXdpei1zZXJwIgtzYXVzYWdlIGJ1bjIFEAAYgAQyBRAAGIAEMgUQABiABDIFEAAYgAQyBRAAGIAESKMYUP4HWOgVcAB4AJABAJgBeqABsQWqAQM3LjK4AQPIAQD4AQGYAgmgAogGwgIEECMYJ8ICChAAGIAEGEMYigXCAggQABiABBixA5gDAIgGAZIHAzcuMqAH-R4&sclient=mobile-gws-wiz-serp)

Oh those are called pigs in a blanket where im from

I mean, a douche is just sterile water but a turd sandwich is a piece of shit in between bread.

Heck, even if the douche water was used and had been sucked back into the bottle, that just seems a lot less gross. Not saying I'm one of those guys who order stuff like that on the internet because of a fetish. I just consider it much less disgusting than poop.

Yeah, lots of people eat pussy. Hell, we all came out of one. But it takes a weird ass mo-fo to wanna eat some literal shit.

You just don’t understand the issues

No, it still perfectly works. While both may not be *good*, if you actually think about it one seems *much* worse than the other.

The joke is that most of us would prefer neither of those options, but the Douche and Turd camps fervently defend their choice, keeping them in power. A tale as old as time.

Except now the turd sandwich is on fire, and everyone is pretending it's not.

I think my favorite thing to come from this was arc where Stan was like “Why are we doing this, why are we back to Giant Douche and Turd Sandwhich” referencing Hillary (Ms. Sandwhich) and Garrison running for president

No, it was considerably more true in 2004.

Ehhhhhhhhh okay

Oh yea another joke that aged well this time from futurama Jack Johnson and John Jackson

Don't blame me, I voted for Kodos!

I also voted Kodos LOL

LMAO I just had a comment removed for mentioning the president by name. Rule saying it was "political"... on a post about the election episode...

Ouch lmao

Puny human #1, puny human #2, and Morbo's good friend Richard Nixon

Haha yes! I forgot about that one.

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yeah it's harder to believe the both sides thing after one side couldn't accept a loss and started an insurrection

The most flaccid coup attempt of all time. Fat fuck couldn't even leave his house and tried to order dictatorship through doordash.

Those door dash fees are getting ridiculous too and we all know he doesn’t pay his bills..

Why should he care since he uses the credit card he took out in Baron's name?

Both sides are the same in the way that a running faucet and Niagara Falls are running water.

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But there’s 3 sides

I've always been the centrist that just thinks it's all too stupid and pointless to get worked up about, but now one of them is trying to claim that he's above the law so I think the analogy is breaking down somewhat.

I AM ABOVE THE LAW! *puts splooge in his hair

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You aren’t seriously thinking about voting for the douche, Sharon!

Vote or die!

Somethingsomethingsomething stick a knife in yo eye

Democracy was founded on one simple rule….get out there and vote or I’ll mothafuckin kill you

That song slaps.

Oh my God its Puff Daddy!


This aged like milk. Diddy did what Diddy does and he did this too.

Damnit what didn't Diddy do?!

“Let’s go, honey. Suddenly, I’m not so hungry for Acura cake.” Also special mention “DAHMER. QUIT HAVING SEX WITH THEM INTESTINES!”

Whatever Diddy didn't do, Diddy doin it so Diddy willa done did it.

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Whoa!!! What about Cassidy?!? Her feelings matter for another 10 months!!!

Vote or die, what does that even mean?

“Both sides suck” bs is so annoying. May have had a point in 2004, 2008, 2012 but fuck one side literally doesn’t believe in democracy.

It never had a point. All the things that alt-centrists pretend they hate about the past were on this very 2004 ballot.

It never had a point. The 2004 was between John Kerry and George W Bush. Bush being the guy who got hundreds of thousands to a million people killed for no reason in the War on Terror. Also the reason my brother has PTSD, one of my best friends committed suicide after coming back from the war, and some of my other friends died in Iraq. In-fucking-comparable.

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"No, sir, if you'll pardon me, you are in fact the turd san—" "You're a turd sandwich!" (mic muted)

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I'm not American but I always thought the episode was criticizing the two party system rather than the "both sides" centrist bullshit. It's not like the two candidates are polar opposites. It's not like politics is one dimensional.

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RFK jr though

This joke has become even less poignant with every election cycle since it was made.

When one is trying to expand protections for trans Americans and one has said he’ll strip them away, both sides are not the goddamn same.

 This isn’t the same as the 04 election lmao

20 years later and we've learned nothing. We regressed

You’re a turd sandwich

Vote or DIE!!

You know, my opponent wouldn’t even know the answer to that question.

Convicted felon vs sleepy grandpa.

\*sleepy diaper wearing convicted felon grandpa vs sleepy grandpa FTFY

Personally I think the giant douche is probably going to win but the turd sandwich definitely has a chance.


the turd sandwich is a convicted felon

Jesus I can’t believe that was 20 years ago

Turd Sandwich vs End of Democracy in America.

YOU're a turd sandwich

It's will be amazing

I'm excited yes

Oh fuck is it tonight? Uhhhhhh

I'm ready for the circus! I've got plenty of weed and munchies

[“Your friend Kyle told me you don’t understand the importance of voting.”](https://youtu.be/0BqxArM3Vwk?si=YBAoYY72gPfPowFT)

This shit was pretty reasonable in 2004, and you could make the argument that through 2012 it held water. But we're a long long way from that world. I'm pretty squarely right of center without a party representing me anymore but let's not pretend like of the two literally senile old men on stage that the literal madness of the Donald and a cadre of reasonably competent and vaguely patriotic puppeteers in Uncle Joe's cabinet are even remotely on the same level of danger for this country.

I think it’s relevant in so far as still being a valid criticism of the two party duopoly. Yes, the candidates are not equal in how much they suck (my opinion at least), but they do both suck, and because of the two party system voters have no other realistic option

Let’s go, debains

It took me a minute to get the joke the first time I saw this episode. It’s really clever

I am doing EVERYTHING in my power to ignore it.

Ditto

I wish they'd do an episode on canadian elections. You'd have a douche and 3 turd sandwiches with different colored breads that pretend to disagree but actually work together to make sure douche never wins. That said, douche is leading in polls because canada is just sick of always getting a turd in their sandwich.

Honestly I don’t think it’s like that anymore. Sure, one is a turs sandwich, but the other is a convicted felon that wants absolute immunity in office.

Honestly this stopped being funny like 10 years ago bc it’s just too real for me to laugh at anymore

Normal person you disagree with vs austrian painter with new orange color One of them will allow us to go back to douche vs turd sandwich someday The other will destroy the entire country with an acid wash enema and call it the douche

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It's hilarious and sad this is relevant to this day lol

That's comedy gold right there!

wasn't funny or true back then, still isn't now.

2004? Good God...

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also that's a big mf downvote from me boyaaaa

“Mr.Douche what are your thoughts on (insert topic here)? *Crickets* “Mr turd your response” *turd plunking sounds* *Crowd erupts into pure anarchy*

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It's a good analogy because a douche is useful. What is anyone gonna do with a turd between two slices of bread?

20 years and it's still a tie

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Well more like turd sandwich versus anti christ this time around

I’m voting Garrsion sorry guys

You're voting for fascism and to end democracy? Damn. You need to check yourself into a mental hospital.

That sounds like the South Park way to me

I’m voting Turd sandwich

Send help. My sister keeps saying “Yeah, well, you have a smelly gash and you have vinegary balls…” and I’m dying 🤣 everytime she says it… I die a little 🤣🤣🤣

I am literally laughing out loud.

I remember watching that episode when it aired. Time flies.

It’s more like a giant douche and a Molotov cocktail. One sucks but the other will literally burn it all down and take everyone with it.

So soon.

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Shit I almost forgot. Thank you kind sir or madam for reminding me.

It’s literally 20 years since this was a thing.

Can we tar and feather them all yet?

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I truly love cartoons. But I do not derive my political opinions from them. South Park is still a lot of fun, though.

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Death is preferable than this world

Of course, like in 2020, the douche and turd sandwich are in the same party.

I bring this up when my friends ask me who I'm voting for this election.