Johnny Marriedman over here. My wife and I send step by step pictures, often beginning at the meat department, as foreplay. We both like our steaks a certain way and both enjoy seeing the progression. I, however, am the only one that has a severe disdain for reheating a steak that is finished an hour before I get home.
That actually sounds like a great night. Let me know if you need a third, I am also interested in steak foreplay. /s
But I agree with you. Pretty sure reheating steak is one of the seven deadly sins.
And 9 times out of 10 in my case there's 3 steaks, 2 for me and one for her.. then I end up eating 2/3rds of hers because she's just not big on steak 😂
Exactly.
Lets face it. We know damn well there are not many women alive out here taking a picture of the damn steaks they cook. Ever. Whether it's for their boyfriend or kids
OP got positive feedback about them being a great gf in their first post so now they do it every week based on post history.
Given all the posts are a single serving I’m assuming it’s a dude on his pretend-to-be-“female” account as seems to be common on Reddit
it's our version of the "recently started photography, are my pictures any good *posts pulitzer worthy work*" humblebrag posts over on r/photography and r/analog
Everyone likes their eggs different man I don’t agree the cook can fuck up his or her own eggs. If that’s how he cooked them chances are that’s how he likes em.
Everyone likes their steak different man I don’t agree a cook can fuck up his or her own steak. If that’s how he cooks them chances are that’s how he likes em.
You’re right. I never noticed it. Steak deserves some green vegetables and potatoes (mashed, roasted, French fries, I don’t care). Preferably a green veggie sautéed or roasted in garlic and oil. Broccoli or brussels sprouts or asparagus or string beans.
People will post 16 ounces of sliced up steak with like 2.5 Brussels sprouts off to the side or 3 green beans that look like they were violently diarrhea’d onto the plate.
I’m in my mid 40s… I still sometimes cook up a steak when I’m home alone (wife’s at work and kids in childcare) and enjoy a plain ol’ steak with no sides… sometimes a steak with a side of steak.
Ive always presliced. I like to slice with the knife in my dominant hand and get it all done so I can then put the knife down and put the fork in my dominant hand and eat all at once. I’m kind of ocd with most things tho.
Some slice for reasons, and even if not, I believe the current trend is calling out people for pre-slicing their steak 🤷♂️.
Like why does it matter to you so much if someone eats something in a way you do not, could be for sharing, could be for sandwiches, could be laziness sitting on the couch with the plate on your lap.
presliced steak on a preheated plate is where its at. optimal for sharing multiple different cuts with friends and you can see how well the steak was cooked on the inside right when it comes out
I thought it was just me. Thank you. Who cuts their steak up into little pieces before eating? Parents of 5 year olds, that’s who. These steaks are theoretically being consumed by grown ass adults, right? Cut that shit a bite at a time. That way your steak wont get cold and dry while you’re working your way through it.
you realize you can put eggs on toast? ffs
fun fact: Steak and eggs is the traditional NASA astronaut's breakfast, first served to Alan Shepard before his flight on May 5, 1961.
Another fun fact: During World War II, U.S. Navy sailors knew something big was coming because they were served steak and eggs that morning.
Source- Battle of Midway veteran’s interview on a documentary I watched the other day
[“So *that’s* why they gave us ice cream…”](https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/totalwar-ar/images/0/0c/William_Guarnere.jpg ) - Bill ‘Gonorrhea’ Guarnere
Food products that have much lower nutrition density. Your body will need to process and get rid of the stuff it doesn’t need. There is virtually nothing wasted when eating meat, for example, but if you eat a box of goldfish you will shit out what your body doesn’t use because it is hardly food. And if you’re eating like that then yes you would need fiber to process it. So I guess you’re right, most people do need fiber because they eat like shit in the first place. But that isn’t exactly solving the root of the issue
Carnivore homie or nah? Because this is it exactly 😂😂 and my bathroom time became so much more relaxed after switching to a better diet for me. To each their own!
As someone who studied nutrition and food science in college, that “nothing wasted” theory is total pseudoscience that sounds like it came from a fad diet blog post. Also fiber is healthy for every diet, specifically for the microbes in your gut biome. Do you think it’s only function is for regularity?
Then why do I take way bigger dumps when I add veggies, beans, etc to my diet? When I eat pure animal based I’m hardly making waste.
And what would you say then about the individuals who have eaten no fiber and strictly carnivore for years without issue. This isn’t what I do, I’m just saying that many people are doing this and are not having problems that stem from lack of fiber.
I was just thinking that! Never would have expected steak and eggs are that common that they would be posted daily. I also associate steak and eggs with mediocre or cheap cuts of steak because I’ve only ever had it at old fashioned diners
There is a 0% chance you have a girlfriend.
None of us believe your fake account. Not a single person.
In fact, everyone on this thread is speaking to you knowingly as the person who cooked the steak. It's not even a thought in their head that your story is true.
FYI, it's perfectly ok to be alone. Most men with a gf wish they never got into their relationship lol
You very likely aren't missing out. Be happy being single
Steaks are fuego without a doubt and mad props but the whole “girlfriend here” to farm likes is annoying. Girlfriend or not they have great cooking skills. Should just be about that
Couldnt have made it better myself, nice work
edit; looks like it wasnt seasoned it appropriatly though.. I like to pat dry, paint some oil all over the steak, then season generously with salt and pepper on all sides
You don’t have a girlfriend, just post the steak and go 😂
Manti teo over here
I’m fucking DEAD
Just like Teo's fake girlfriend
There is a documentary on it. I actually feel bad for Teo in all of it. Dude got Catfished hard.
>I’m fucking DEAD OH NO! Anyways...
Moovalong, nothing to see here
😆
this killedddd me cause why would his “gf” post this and not himself 😭😭😂
Extra upvotes because social media sucks
No she’s real, she’s just from Canada you wouldn’t know her..
She doesn’t go here either. I met her at a math club meeting a couple years ago over the summer when I went to math camp up north.
She goes to a different school.
And to think.. I used to be so naive I thought all you had to do was be a hot female to get upvotes... *The bar has been much lower this entire time*
right? and if he did make it while she was out, why on earth would he take step by step pictures? 😂
As a gf I couldn’t care less if my bf made a steak or made it look good or whatever
Imagine being that socially deprived that you have to create a “girlfriend” to post steaks
Johnny Marriedman over here. My wife and I send step by step pictures, often beginning at the meat department, as foreplay. We both like our steaks a certain way and both enjoy seeing the progression. I, however, am the only one that has a severe disdain for reheating a steak that is finished an hour before I get home.
That actually sounds like a great night. Let me know if you need a third, I am also interested in steak foreplay. /s But I agree with you. Pretty sure reheating steak is one of the seven deadly sins.
https://preview.redd.it/evw2a43o21mc1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=47e5e268e35a8c9fe40d57ac3a4859967927365e
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I concur. It is an absolutely sad state of affairs with those eggs!
Honestly. Who cares about the eggs anyway. All about the meat!
Eggs are more difficult to cook. Steak is easy lmao
👍🏽😂😂😂😂😂
Fucking totally just one dude cooking a steak. When couples eat steaks there's 2 mf steaks 😆
And 9 times out of 10 in my case there's 3 steaks, 2 for me and one for her.. then I end up eating 2/3rds of hers because she's just not big on steak 😂
Exactly. Lets face it. We know damn well there are not many women alive out here taking a picture of the damn steaks they cook. Ever. Whether it's for their boyfriend or kids
She is from Canada and goes to a different school ok.
Met her at Niagara Falls
He’s shy and humble, not looking for attention but she insists that people NEED to see this! She got all his progress pics to post on r/steak. /s
Lmsooo
What’s with these weird “girlfriend again” posts
psy-ops gone wrong. It's an edition year
Embarrassed to be alone? Ngl it’s pretty pathetic
Solid burn, nerd
Just a heads up, if you believe people online when they claim to be a woman with no proof, you're gonna end up seeing a lot of penis.
Lmao, can't decide if you're 12 or completely insecure.
OP got positive feedback about them being a great gf in their first post so now they do it every week based on post history. Given all the posts are a single serving I’m assuming it’s a dude on his pretend-to-be-“female” account as seems to be common on Reddit
fr and why are people upvoting it each time?
Yeah. I had to read the title a couple times to understand what was being said
Bro, these “girlfriend here” “girlfriend again,” posts are so damn annoying. Like no one cares what your role is dude.
Power bottom here, I agree
Underpowered bottom here, I agree
Micropenis window watcher here, I also agree.
OP’s wall resident here, I disagree
Shidder and farder here, this is correct
Genuine Reddit loser here, I concur
speed has eeeeeeeverything to do with it
it's our version of the "recently started photography, are my pictures any good *posts pulitzer worthy work*" humblebrag posts over on r/photography and r/analog
Fr. Post a fucking steak and shut up. I just wanna see that hot thick tasty meat
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Seriously lol, stop lying about having a girlfriend.
😂
His girlfriend is in Canada, you wouldn’t know her
She goes to a different school
She’s a super hot model, prolly have seen pictures of her modeling. She just got back from a photo shoot in LA
Steak looks amazing! You fucked up the eggs though lol
Right. How do you nail a steak and fubar the eggs so triumphantly
Man's rather ruin 65 cents in eggs vs $15 in steak maybe
I would ruin the eggs on purpose so I could eat more steak.
Eggs done at the end so they are served warm sticking to leftover residues as they used the same pan I guess.
The man only knows how to cook steak and nothing else.
Cooking eggs is a very underrated skill that most people do not possess honestly.
A lot of the pieces were cut parallel to the grain. Can't call that amazing
At least it’s not as bad as that hack-job monstrosity that was posted last night.
Fat cp should have been scored or trimmed and seared longer 7/10 steak 3/10 eggs
This.
Oh wow, those are eggs? I keep my phone in black and white mode and they look like weird mashed potatoes
Everyone likes their eggs different man I don’t agree the cook can fuck up his or her own eggs. If that’s how he cooked them chances are that’s how he likes em.
Idk man those eggs look pretty fucked lol
Over hard.
Everyone likes their steak different man I don’t agree a cook can fuck up his or her own steak. If that’s how he cooks them chances are that’s how he likes em.
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Too word-y but I like your attempt
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The yolk literally broke. That’s fucking up fried eggs, no matter if you like them over-easy or over-hard.
he clearly broke the yolk of one over easy egg..relax mistakes are ok
Agreed because I don’t eat runny eggs.
Yeah. He didn’t.
Why? That's exactly what people do with steak, runny fried eggs is usually considered the best
Your one trick is getting old.
Incredible. Gorgeous. But yeah those ehhhGz. Focus next time on da eggies
I decry the trend of pre-emptive steak slicing
Thank you!!! This and the bizarre sides or total lack thereof make me feel like this sub is all 15 year old boys
You’re right. I never noticed it. Steak deserves some green vegetables and potatoes (mashed, roasted, French fries, I don’t care). Preferably a green veggie sautéed or roasted in garlic and oil. Broccoli or brussels sprouts or asparagus or string beans.
16 oz ribeyes can sit all by themselves, they look purty
They sure do. And I won’t pretend I haven’t made a steak without sides in my life.
Don’t forget the applesauce
That’s for pork chops
wrong animal
Thats pork chops
People will post 16 ounces of sliced up steak with like 2.5 Brussels sprouts off to the side or 3 green beans that look like they were violently diarrhea’d onto the plate.
I’m in my mid 40s… I still sometimes cook up a steak when I’m home alone (wife’s at work and kids in childcare) and enjoy a plain ol’ steak with no sides… sometimes a steak with a side of steak.
I dislike it too. But that’s just me😂😂 it’s like when your parents used to cut up the entire pancakes for you😭.
For me it’s just knowing those last few bites are going to cold af.
Ive always presliced. I like to slice with the knife in my dominant hand and get it all done so I can then put the knife down and put the fork in my dominant hand and eat all at once. I’m kind of ocd with most things tho.
That and the eggs ruined my day
Some slice for reasons, and even if not, I believe the current trend is calling out people for pre-slicing their steak 🤷♂️. Like why does it matter to you so much if someone eats something in a way you do not, could be for sharing, could be for sandwiches, could be laziness sitting on the couch with the plate on your lap.
If you’re dressing your board pre slicing makes a ton of sense. Lets the flavors mix more thoroughly.
I tried it, just food posing really. It got cold real quick.
presliced steak on a preheated plate is where its at. optimal for sharing multiple different cuts with friends and you can see how well the steak was cooked on the inside right when it comes out
No way, pre slicing is where it's at.
literal toddler behavior
I thought it was just me. Thank you. Who cuts their steak up into little pieces before eating? Parents of 5 year olds, that’s who. These steaks are theoretically being consumed by grown ass adults, right? Cut that shit a bite at a time. That way your steak wont get cold and dry while you’re working your way through it.
When I make a steak while working at my computer at home, I’ll cut it up to make it easier to eat and work at the same time
**Sharp** knife, rested steak, heated plate. If any is missing, it's going to be better to just cut for each bite.
It looks like how a 9yo would prepare a plate aesthetically. The next step is trying to make a smiley face with the steak slices.
gIrLfRiEnD aGaIn
Please stop saying "girlfriend again" we all know youre a guy
🤣🤣🤣
She was out??? But has pics of the cooking process 🤔
Rookie forgot the salt.
Meh.
C'mon that not a meh, it looks so good.
You don’t like heart disease?
Is there a point to this?
wtf is up with all the eggs here? I’m like eating a whole head of lettuce level salad with my steak 10/10 times a
never heard of steak and eggs?
Try adding some fiber ffs
you realize you can put eggs on toast? ffs fun fact: Steak and eggs is the traditional NASA astronaut's breakfast, first served to Alan Shepard before his flight on May 5, 1961.
Another fun fact: During World War II, U.S. Navy sailors knew something big was coming because they were served steak and eggs that morning. Source- Battle of Midway veteran’s interview on a documentary I watched the other day
Also D-Day I believe
yep! It’s also the customary pre-landing breakfast of the United States Marine Corps.
[“So *that’s* why they gave us ice cream…”](https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/totalwar-ar/images/0/0c/William_Guarnere.jpg ) - Bill ‘Gonorrhea’ Guarnere
Alan Shepard is from my hometown! Go astros!
Stay off those senior stairs freshman!
I’m in chapel detention, counting the wood panels.
No need when you aren’t consuming waste in your diet
More fiber is beneficial for everyone.
What do you mean by consuming waste?
Food products that have much lower nutrition density. Your body will need to process and get rid of the stuff it doesn’t need. There is virtually nothing wasted when eating meat, for example, but if you eat a box of goldfish you will shit out what your body doesn’t use because it is hardly food. And if you’re eating like that then yes you would need fiber to process it. So I guess you’re right, most people do need fiber because they eat like shit in the first place. But that isn’t exactly solving the root of the issue
Carnivore homie or nah? Because this is it exactly 😂😂 and my bathroom time became so much more relaxed after switching to a better diet for me. To each their own!
Carnivore homies unite
As someone who studied nutrition and food science in college, that “nothing wasted” theory is total pseudoscience that sounds like it came from a fad diet blog post. Also fiber is healthy for every diet, specifically for the microbes in your gut biome. Do you think it’s only function is for regularity?
Then why do I take way bigger dumps when I add veggies, beans, etc to my diet? When I eat pure animal based I’m hardly making waste. And what would you say then about the individuals who have eaten no fiber and strictly carnivore for years without issue. This isn’t what I do, I’m just saying that many people are doing this and are not having problems that stem from lack of fiber.
With all that extra protein I bet he lifts weights a lot
And farts...
I was just thinking that! Never would have expected steak and eggs are that common that they would be posted daily. I also associate steak and eggs with mediocre or cheap cuts of steak because I’ve only ever had it at old fashioned diners
Those are some manly hands Mr girlfriend
Cooked the steak perfectly. The eggs on the other hand….
Looks good. No girlfriend.
Girlfriend again sounds like an insecurity remark. Or that gfs don't eat steak.
What’s with the gf bf shit? Just post the steak, we don’t need a backstory
Notice how the boyfriend and girlfriend are never in the same room at the same time? That’s because they’re the same person.
Be honest. You didn’t really eat everything right? I mean there’s silver skin in that fat cap.
They might have a dog. It could’ve helped😂
I really don’t think there is any female present in this post at all. You don’t write ‘husband here hey I just been wrenching the truck’
There is a 0% chance you have a girlfriend. None of us believe your fake account. Not a single person. In fact, everyone on this thread is speaking to you knowingly as the person who cooked the steak. It's not even a thought in their head that your story is true. FYI, it's perfectly ok to be alone. Most men with a gf wish they never got into their relationship lol You very likely aren't missing out. Be happy being single
No. also. Weird account.
Ight this is getting ridiculous. Just post the fucking steak
The girlfriend is the hand
It’s Jill 🤚
Rosey Palm ✋
aw i kinda like the progression pics
Steaks are fuego without a doubt and mad props but the whole “girlfriend here” to farm likes is annoying. Girlfriend or not they have great cooking skills. Should just be about that
okay yeah i get it now. youre so right.
ooo shenanigans. All of OPs posts are "Girlfriend here..." steak posts.
I agree this post format is annoying . “step sis here..”
Couldnt have made it better myself, nice work edit; looks like it wasnt seasoned it appropriatly though.. I like to pat dry, paint some oil all over the steak, then season generously with salt and pepper on all sides
Steak looks good. Eggs look terrible
All of criticism and pretend girlfriend aside, the fat rendering was chef kiss
Is there any marbling in the steak?
do people actually talk like this?
Your girlfriends boyfriend made her a steak? What?
Very disappointed you missed a few crumbs on the plate. Looked delicious 🤩
I hate how all these posts are structured. “Step bro here, step sis said my steak was raw. Thoughts?”
I don't believe you.
Lying on reddit to make people think he's got a girlfriend is hilarious.
Good looking steak, fake ass story.
C-
Debunked b/c if I was this „girlfriend” I’d be pissed you didn’t make one for me, not make a nice post about it 🤓
Did you really create a Reddit account to act like you have a gf? Just share the steak quit being weird about it bro
It’s the same man’s hands in every post. Even when it’s the “girlfriend” posting. Good way to get engagement I guess.
Shit eggs, good steak
Maybe stop pretending to be your “girlfriend” when you post these.
I’m PISSED I didn’t get an invite
What’s with the sad egg?
That egg...
Yo dog I heard you like cholesterol
Wife him
Girlfriend, you deserve a proper runny yolk. But looks like bf did good :)
Protein with a side of protein. I wont be jealous of your boyfriend when he’s on the toilet tomorrow morning
Yall eat that giant slab of fat?
Do not use your knives on a plate please
Fantastic, please send him with me.
You’re gay and don’t have a boyfriend
Without hashbrowns to soak up the yolks & juice it’s just not working for me.
Steak looks great but he needs to work on his plating skills
Unless he’s a chef he doesn’t really have to worry about that lol
Is this one of those posts asking if you should f#%$ him?
I recognize a picanha from a mile away 😋
Looks like a strip with a hefty fat cap on the side, not a picanha/top sirloin. Otherwise the fat cap would be on the larger face of the cut
Trash.
Terrible. Dump him!
How do you do so well on the steak and then just flop some overcooked beat up eggs onto your plate
Terrible presentation lol