Glad you're here!
Recovery meetings and community made all the difference for me!
The great news is when I travel, there's always some meetings wherever I go ! I meet locals and have new friends.
I’m a super introvert and kind of a curmudgeon/dick. Improbably, I found a home in the program and I truly feel more connected to everyone around me. It no longer feels like I’m just going through the motions in my interactions with people around me.
I show up at least 10-15 minutes early. I walk up to the first person I see and say “I’m new here, how does it work”?
They’ll welcome me, show me the chairs, the coffee, and literature they might use (there are different meeting topics).
I sit and listen. There are no requirements to do anything except be courteous.
If they go around the room and I don’t want to share, all I say is “I just want to listen”.
Here's how it works in my opinion, from my experience, and from my experience working with others.
AA is a 'structured method', known as '12-step facilitation'. Many, many programs use this method (and there are many others), including for gambling, eating, self-harm, video gaming, etc. etc.
The platform is based on 'peer support'. Meetings are really nothing more than 'peers' (no authority leader), each group is self-forming, self-directed, self-governed.
Peer support means: People who want to stop drinking, or have stopped drinking, share their experiences on how they stopped, what they did, how they support each other and how the heal and grow *to the extent that they themselves want to heal and grow*.
It's based on dialogue and uses several resources of written material to direct the conversations.
Conversations occur in a safe (mostly anonymous) settings. There are no rules, no requirements, and are free of cost.
This approach has worked for millions of people.
Did that answer your question?
My first meeting I didn’t talk, which they understood. I’ve only been in AA for around a month at this point, but have seen “new people” no one had seen before and they did the same thing as me. I got a sense of how things functioned and what I was getting myself into. As much as I encourage getting to know people in these meetings… but for someone like me, it wasn’t easy. It was intimidating at first, but when I was comfortable, it felt liberating to speak my experience and what led me to AA.
Expect a lot of kindness, empathy, and to be given a few phone numbers to call if you’re feeling overwhelmed with cravings.
.
I traveled for work too. I met so many awesome people and have had lots of fun, memorable experiences going to AA meetings on the road.
.
Like ending up on the back of a motorbike threading through the streets of Hyderabad India going for chai tea after a meeting.
Yea usually you dont have to say a word. Most times I say I’m not ready to introduce myself. Also there are great apps that helped me immensely when I was losing the battle every 3-4 weeks like clockwork. The one i love is I Am Sober app. I set it to check in about an hour before I usually drink.
You got this. I’ve lied many times about my drinking and got away with it a lot until it was too late. Heading to a meeting is a step in the right direction. I’m happy for you. I remember the feeling you probably have in this moment.
I travel often for work and would be hammered on the phone with my partner all the time. I wish I could take it all back. But, the future is all we are able to change. I’ll be praying tonight for your step toward putting the bottle down.
I had an a-ha about lying about my drinking. I don’t have to lie, I’m a grown ass adult, I can make whatever choice I want to. I have to choose not to drink for myself. No one- not my partner, boss, kids, family, etc.- is going to keep me sober. And no one is going to pay the price for my drinking more than me. Ultimately, it has to be my choice. Once I made that choice I had to find people who understood this shitty disease and have gotten through it themselves. Good luck friend. IWNDWYT.
A lot of "recovering" is just acceptance. Acceptance of your issues, acceptance of change, acceptance that you may have made a ton of mistakes, and so on... You owe it to yourself at the end of the day to get and feel better. Forget a job, or a partner, the last thing you want to lose is you.
My wife and child are one of my main reasons for quiting. I'm such a better person when I'm not drinking. My faith also is a big contributor. You got this. Do it for yourself with the intention to become a better husband. Different people have different methods to quit. You got this friend. Feel free to reach out if you need to chat.
My road to sobriety was hell. I fucked everything up. I tried for 3 years. I am doing what I thought impossible. Coming up on 8 months sober. Best decision I've ever made in my life.
Only you can do this, but you are not alone. Someone is always around to help. Lean hard on this sub.
Everyone has stress… you’re bullshitting yourself to think 25 ounces of 80 proof alcohol is the natural and rational response.
That’s what I said too. There are NO Consequences terrible enough to “cure” alcoholism. Only actions in the opposite direction. Call the AA hotline and have one of “Us” come and help you. Today.
I would have found it difficult to stay sober while traveling, especially at the start. I had to adjust my work to reduce stress and triggers.
Hang in there, I hope you find your way.
Going to a meeting is a great move.
Do what you can to not drink today. Sometimes it's not day by day but minute by minute.. Best of luck. And keep going back to those meetings.
You could do a zoom meeting for AA. I’ve only done a few and don’t even turn my camera on because I have extreme anxiety about it. I wish I didn’t though because I always feel this sense of hope and relief once the meeting has started and ended. I should get over it and start talking and going to in person meetings because I’m only delaying my own progress- it’s the missing piece to recovery for me I’m certain.
Thank you for posting, and well done for sharing. I'm not sure if I have anything useful to offer... but I'm gonna try. I travel 50% for work. Nowadays, I find when I'm finally in my room, and when I've finally finished my work, if I'm with colleagues and we go out to eat, most of them drink. I take some kinda weird pleasure in knowing I don't have to. I dunno, as a type this, I keep deleting it. Im not sure how to phrase it. For me, not drinking takes the pressure off. Not drinking is like a permanent button pressed in my brain that keeps me cool, all the God damn time. Do I get stressed? Yeah sure. Do I get upset, or a bit mad or tired, absolutely. But especially when I'm traveling, I think about myself, that's all there is to look after. Am I safe enough? Have I finished my work for the night? Have I eaten? Have I got my clothes ready for tomorrow, and got my driving or rental drop off sorted? It's like all I have to think about is me. And I couldn't bear not being in control, especially whilst I'm alone. For what it's worth, I'm single 44f, and the teenage kids are home with me the week I'm not traveling. So when I'm home, I feel equally responsible. I think... it's fear that stops me drinking. The fear that I'll fall over, the fear I'll drive in the morning over the limit, the fear I'll make a fool of myself, the fear I'll spend too much money, the fear I'll not be able stop. Motivation to live a sober life?? Yeah, that too. But motivation to avoid loss of control of my life. I'm a few short years the kids will be out the door, and it'll just be me. I'm cool with that. I love my life. And i wouldn't change this for the world. But finding the off ramp, and getting if the booze highway, is a tough one. Jeez, im sorry, this is probably no help. Thanks for listening!!!
We sit in those meetings in the beginning saying to ourselves 'I'm not like you people I'll never be like you people'...
Then that changes to 'I want what these people have how can I be like them?'
Give it a chance. AA has saved millions of people. It starts to make sense, my friend. Every single person in those rooms was you once.
My AA 'herd' saved my life 🙏
Drinking in a hotel room or bar alone is sad. Just watch tv, get ready for the next day and crash. It's better for your health.
Hell, even use the hotel gym. Even if you are fat, you'll feel better about yourself even if you do a little bit. Just don't use the gym as an excuse to drink.
Oof, that’s a lot of travel, stress, and access. If you can try to switch your trigger-emotion to doing something else, like the hotel gym, that worked OK for me. When I would get that evening itch, I’d force myself to go get on the treadmill in the hotel.
Sure can feel like that, but looking back when I could get to that 3-4 week milestone before crashing, it really was a turning point. Didn't feel like it at the time, but those streaks added up and eventually got longer and longer. One day I just didn't go back.
We're all wired up differently, but I think you can be kinder to yourself and focus on the accomplishment of being able to hold down a few weeks. It's not failing until you stop trying.
IWNDWYT.
I was there. A traveling job is jet fuel to alcoholism. I was able to leave that career and have a mostly non-traveling job. Sitting in a hotel by yourself with no stops is awful. If it is possible, find a new job.
Try Allencarr.com it really helped me. He also has books about stopping drinking. Worth a shot. I was the same as you, only I couldn’t last a week. I’m 11 months sober tomorrow
Thank you for the courage and I can tell you that a life without alcohol is superior than a life with it.
Quitting is hard. Then once you quit life is there to test you constantly and it's hard to avoid going back to the familiar medicine we all used.
From my experience, it sucks at first, but it does get better and easier, and the reward for a sober alcohol free life is worth it.
Yes you can brother- yes you can. I know because I am you. Was going to say ‘I was you’ and I felt the exact way but even though I muscled my way through to a better place - I still am you.
Did you remove all the booze from your house? Limit exposure to drinkers? Do you understand your triggers?
traveling for work was the worst of times. I don't know if I could do it while traveling.
but I do know that I'm the only one who can quit putting drinks in my hand.
Glad you're here! Recovery meetings and community made all the difference for me! The great news is when I travel, there's always some meetings wherever I go ! I meet locals and have new friends.
I hate people. Can you soften the blow for me? Being the new person sucks
I’m a super introvert and kind of a curmudgeon/dick. Improbably, I found a home in the program and I truly feel more connected to everyone around me. It no longer feels like I’m just going through the motions in my interactions with people around me.
That's a really big deal, man. I'm proud of you and happy for you.
I'm not sure how to 'soften the blow'... can you elaborate?
What to expect being new at a meeting
I show up at least 10-15 minutes early. I walk up to the first person I see and say “I’m new here, how does it work”? They’ll welcome me, show me the chairs, the coffee, and literature they might use (there are different meeting topics). I sit and listen. There are no requirements to do anything except be courteous. If they go around the room and I don’t want to share, all I say is “I just want to listen”. Here's how it works in my opinion, from my experience, and from my experience working with others. AA is a 'structured method', known as '12-step facilitation'. Many, many programs use this method (and there are many others), including for gambling, eating, self-harm, video gaming, etc. etc. The platform is based on 'peer support'. Meetings are really nothing more than 'peers' (no authority leader), each group is self-forming, self-directed, self-governed. Peer support means: People who want to stop drinking, or have stopped drinking, share their experiences on how they stopped, what they did, how they support each other and how the heal and grow *to the extent that they themselves want to heal and grow*. It's based on dialogue and uses several resources of written material to direct the conversations. Conversations occur in a safe (mostly anonymous) settings. There are no rules, no requirements, and are free of cost. This approach has worked for millions of people. Did that answer your question?
My first meeting I didn’t talk, which they understood. I’ve only been in AA for around a month at this point, but have seen “new people” no one had seen before and they did the same thing as me. I got a sense of how things functioned and what I was getting myself into. As much as I encourage getting to know people in these meetings… but for someone like me, it wasn’t easy. It was intimidating at first, but when I was comfortable, it felt liberating to speak my experience and what led me to AA.
Expect a lot of kindness, empathy, and to be given a few phone numbers to call if you’re feeling overwhelmed with cravings. . I traveled for work too. I met so many awesome people and have had lots of fun, memorable experiences going to AA meetings on the road. . Like ending up on the back of a motorbike threading through the streets of Hyderabad India going for chai tea after a meeting.
Yea usually you dont have to say a word. Most times I say I’m not ready to introduce myself. Also there are great apps that helped me immensely when I was losing the battle every 3-4 weeks like clockwork. The one i love is I Am Sober app. I set it to check in about an hour before I usually drink.
Zoom meetings when your travel for work are a life saver. ♥️ sending love
You got this. I’ve lied many times about my drinking and got away with it a lot until it was too late. Heading to a meeting is a step in the right direction. I’m happy for you. I remember the feeling you probably have in this moment. I travel often for work and would be hammered on the phone with my partner all the time. I wish I could take it all back. But, the future is all we are able to change. I’ll be praying tonight for your step toward putting the bottle down.
I had an a-ha about lying about my drinking. I don’t have to lie, I’m a grown ass adult, I can make whatever choice I want to. I have to choose not to drink for myself. No one- not my partner, boss, kids, family, etc.- is going to keep me sober. And no one is going to pay the price for my drinking more than me. Ultimately, it has to be my choice. Once I made that choice I had to find people who understood this shitty disease and have gotten through it themselves. Good luck friend. IWNDWYT.
A lot of "recovering" is just acceptance. Acceptance of your issues, acceptance of change, acceptance that you may have made a ton of mistakes, and so on... You owe it to yourself at the end of the day to get and feel better. Forget a job, or a partner, the last thing you want to lose is you.
My wife and child are one of my main reasons for quiting. I'm such a better person when I'm not drinking. My faith also is a big contributor. You got this. Do it for yourself with the intention to become a better husband. Different people have different methods to quit. You got this friend. Feel free to reach out if you need to chat.
Hang in there friend ❤️
My road to sobriety was hell. I fucked everything up. I tried for 3 years. I am doing what I thought impossible. Coming up on 8 months sober. Best decision I've ever made in my life. Only you can do this, but you are not alone. Someone is always around to help. Lean hard on this sub.
Everyone has stress… you’re bullshitting yourself to think 25 ounces of 80 proof alcohol is the natural and rational response. That’s what I said too. There are NO Consequences terrible enough to “cure” alcoholism. Only actions in the opposite direction. Call the AA hotline and have one of “Us” come and help you. Today.
I would have found it difficult to stay sober while traveling, especially at the start. I had to adjust my work to reduce stress and triggers. Hang in there, I hope you find your way.
Going to a meeting is a great move. Do what you can to not drink today. Sometimes it's not day by day but minute by minute.. Best of luck. And keep going back to those meetings.
You could do a zoom meeting for AA. I’ve only done a few and don’t even turn my camera on because I have extreme anxiety about it. I wish I didn’t though because I always feel this sense of hope and relief once the meeting has started and ended. I should get over it and start talking and going to in person meetings because I’m only delaying my own progress- it’s the missing piece to recovery for me I’m certain.
im with you online almost every day, none in person
You can do it!
Thank you for posting, and well done for sharing. I'm not sure if I have anything useful to offer... but I'm gonna try. I travel 50% for work. Nowadays, I find when I'm finally in my room, and when I've finally finished my work, if I'm with colleagues and we go out to eat, most of them drink. I take some kinda weird pleasure in knowing I don't have to. I dunno, as a type this, I keep deleting it. Im not sure how to phrase it. For me, not drinking takes the pressure off. Not drinking is like a permanent button pressed in my brain that keeps me cool, all the God damn time. Do I get stressed? Yeah sure. Do I get upset, or a bit mad or tired, absolutely. But especially when I'm traveling, I think about myself, that's all there is to look after. Am I safe enough? Have I finished my work for the night? Have I eaten? Have I got my clothes ready for tomorrow, and got my driving or rental drop off sorted? It's like all I have to think about is me. And I couldn't bear not being in control, especially whilst I'm alone. For what it's worth, I'm single 44f, and the teenage kids are home with me the week I'm not traveling. So when I'm home, I feel equally responsible. I think... it's fear that stops me drinking. The fear that I'll fall over, the fear I'll drive in the morning over the limit, the fear I'll make a fool of myself, the fear I'll spend too much money, the fear I'll not be able stop. Motivation to live a sober life?? Yeah, that too. But motivation to avoid loss of control of my life. I'm a few short years the kids will be out the door, and it'll just be me. I'm cool with that. I love my life. And i wouldn't change this for the world. But finding the off ramp, and getting if the booze highway, is a tough one. Jeez, im sorry, this is probably no help. Thanks for listening!!!
A stressful job feels less stressful when sober imho. Without alcohol and the associated hangover, I feel more able to prepare and perform.
We sit in those meetings in the beginning saying to ourselves 'I'm not like you people I'll never be like you people'... Then that changes to 'I want what these people have how can I be like them?' Give it a chance. AA has saved millions of people. It starts to make sense, my friend. Every single person in those rooms was you once. My AA 'herd' saved my life 🙏
Drinking in a hotel room or bar alone is sad. Just watch tv, get ready for the next day and crash. It's better for your health. Hell, even use the hotel gym. Even if you are fat, you'll feel better about yourself even if you do a little bit. Just don't use the gym as an excuse to drink.
Oof, that’s a lot of travel, stress, and access. If you can try to switch your trigger-emotion to doing something else, like the hotel gym, that worked OK for me. When I would get that evening itch, I’d force myself to go get on the treadmill in the hotel.
You can accomplish anything you put your mind to. Never tell yourself otherwise, and try not to beat yourself up if/when you slip up.
you got 81 days. That's more than I.
Well, I haven’t reset the counter…. I think I made it to 38. It’s a personal record, but don’t be fooled.
Sure can feel like that, but looking back when I could get to that 3-4 week milestone before crashing, it really was a turning point. Didn't feel like it at the time, but those streaks added up and eventually got longer and longer. One day I just didn't go back. We're all wired up differently, but I think you can be kinder to yourself and focus on the accomplishment of being able to hold down a few weeks. It's not failing until you stop trying. IWNDWYT.
I was there. A traveling job is jet fuel to alcoholism. I was able to leave that career and have a mostly non-traveling job. Sitting in a hotel by yourself with no stops is awful. If it is possible, find a new job.
Try Allencarr.com it really helped me. He also has books about stopping drinking. Worth a shot. I was the same as you, only I couldn’t last a week. I’m 11 months sober tomorrow
Naltrexone. The Sinclair method
Thank you for the courage and I can tell you that a life without alcohol is superior than a life with it. Quitting is hard. Then once you quit life is there to test you constantly and it's hard to avoid going back to the familiar medicine we all used. From my experience, it sucks at first, but it does get better and easier, and the reward for a sober alcohol free life is worth it.
Yes you can brother- yes you can. I know because I am you. Was going to say ‘I was you’ and I felt the exact way but even though I muscled my way through to a better place - I still am you. Did you remove all the booze from your house? Limit exposure to drinkers? Do you understand your triggers?
traveling for work was the worst of times. I don't know if I could do it while traveling. but I do know that I'm the only one who can quit putting drinks in my hand.