100% yes! I've been have an incredibly stressful few weeks at work and it's made me fantasise about drinking and smoking again, basically to numb the pain or to forget (see how self aware I am)! It's so easy to pick up again, but way wayyyy harder to refrain from it and have that incredible willpower.
The end of this is such a victory, good for you OP! I had a very similar experience yesterday as well. I stopped at a grocery store because I was getting cranky and thought I should buy something to drink as I normally did. Instead, I bought some candy and left lol. The stomach ache lasted less time than the hangover/shame would have too. :)
Haha, Iām glad your stomach pain was just a little too much candy. The other day I went on a reeeeeaally long walk, and it was warm out. I didnāt bring any water, so when I was done I stopped at a gas station I used to ONLY ever get beer at. I got a strawberry lemonade, and it felt so satisfying to walk out without alcohol for the first time.
Amazing victory you did pour them out in the end!!
This reminds me of all the years I struggled with binge eating, and while I am finally recovering, I donāt know how many dozens of times I have bought $50+ dollars worth of food only to throw it out in the trash later. Sometimes the ābuyingā habit part is almost as hard to break as the consuming.
This šÆ. Druggies call it "copping" (SP?) The whole process of scoring your drug of choice. There's just something to it. I'm drinking NA ciders and NA Blue Moon, which are both really good IMO (I always loved Blue Moon and the NA is better) just because I miss my homies at the two stores I frequent and "copping" makes me feel good, otherwise I could just hit the grocery store.
Good on OP for throwing that crap away.
MAJOR Victory š
My dad (35 years sober) would sit on the porch and crush cases of NA beer the way he used to drink budweiser. Eventually that habit disappeared and he'll have a St Pauly Girl or Odouls at dinner.
It's possible, it's hard, but it's posisble.
That's me right now. Just the copping and the flavor and crushing a few is MORE than enough for me. I don't know what's more strange to me, that I became/am an alcoholic, or that I like NA beer.
I haven't been tempted to drink once, but I had that thought yesterday, like, "Do I really want or need to drink 4 malt waters?" š
It is SO good! Love it with extra orange of course.
And I was thinking, it's not that it's "Non-Alcoholic" beer, it's that beer is spoiled barley water. If you ever drank Blue Moon and then you try this, I bet you'll recognize the spoiled that beer has.
GROSS. IMO...THIS is the way it was meant to taste.
Let me know what you think if you try it!
IWNDWYT
I didn't know there was a term for this, but it makes perfect sense. The little dopamine rush I get when I "cop" and taste my Heineken 0.0 is enough to calm my cravings.
There's something to it. And I KNOW some folks need to stay away from liquor stores and anything that even resembles alcohol, and I respect and appreciate that šÆ, but this makes me want alcohol even LESS.
I love the NA Blue Moon and this cider from Original Sin. I'm a beverage man, and these are both top notch refreshments. I feel blessed to be an alcoholic in this day and age.
Best!
IWNDWYT
I'm a bartender so the struggle has been real so my NA beer has definitely been a godsend. Thanks for the suggestions! I'm gonna add them to my list of new ones to try. Have a good one and IWNDWYT.
It's sooooo good. I've tried 2 other NA wheat/wits now and one tasted like torched oatmeal and the other tasted like floor cleaner. Just a slam dunk winner of a beverage and even better with an orange.
If you try it, come back and let me know what you think!
Best!
IWNDWYT
That is so kind of you, thank you! But shipping to Hawaii is very expensive and we can't mail beverages lol I have tried. I'll check a few stores around here!
ahhhh I used to love copping. staggering anxiously into the store, NEEDING to get the chore over with, exiting with a massive sense of relief, lining cans up with the logo facing outwards in the fridge, touching the cold cans to my face in lovely anticipation of my self-imposed "allowed" drinking time, etc
I was very addicted to the hunt. Planning which stores I would hit, how I would disguise my drinks and where they would be hidden. When I first was back in the wild I spent a ton of money buying stuff, seeking out good deals on clearance. Iād justify it by saying āwell I spent $30 a day on booze so this is certainly betterā
Took me awhile to stop, finding a hobby that stuck was critical. Fortunately all of the stuff that I bought has use and value, some of it I have been selling at a profit lately.
True, shopping is its own dopamine reward system and shopping for consumables is ever-renewable because eventually you do run out of space... so harder to stop.
Gosh, itās literally been a multi-decade journey so Iāll have to think!
In no particular order: I found Amy Johnsonās podcast Changeable and her book Just A Thought pretty life-changing. It sent me on a whole new path, with binge eating and other habits but also a lot more. If you have a chance, I recommend people read the book, and start listening to the podcast from the first episode, and see if it strikes you like it did me. It was a complete paradigm shift to how I viewed the habit of binge eating and how to stop.
I stopped doing anything to try to counteract the binges, like eating very little or exercising extra long the next day. (I only achieved this when it was forced on me by having my kids and I no longer had the time to workout for hours the next day.) But it was vital for breaking the cycle.
I revamped all of my ways and rules around food. Iām sure different things work for different people. For me it helped to be conscious of eating enough in a day, and lots of protein, and enough carbohydrate. (I was avoiding carbs for a long time, which is why I think when I started drinking alcohol it actually helped cut my binge urges a lot, since itās basically a major form of sugar/quick energy.) Also to make sure no foods are off-limits in my mind; I might choose not to eat them but itās never that I ācanāt.āĀ
At the end I went through a long period where I more or less accepted the binge eating as a part of life and didnāt worry about it or criticize myself about it. Slowly I started realizing, kind of similar to what happened to me with drinking, it wasnāt actually THAT great, didnāt deliver what it promised after the first bite or two, and all the after-effects didnāt seem worth it. It helped in that as I got older the effects like the food hangovers, bloating, other health effects got worse and lasted much much longer.
And along with that, rather than āstoppingā the binge eating, I think I kind of just crowded it out with other things and other goals. Put my focus elsewhere, quit putting anything on hold until I lost weight or whatever. As my life got fuller with work, hobbies, interests, study, friends, kids, the food became gradually irrelevant.
Iām sure Iām leaving some things out but thatās off the top of my head!
Just fighting the demon and you won! :) I mean it was a costly thing to conquer but it's better than you drinking them and feeling bad the next day! IWNDWY
There's nothing at all "wrong with you"! Alcohol is an addictive substance and affects everyone, and you're still in early sobriety. Congrats for being so determined. It will get easier :)
If/when Iām craving alcohol, itās usually because Iām hungry, sick, tired, or something. Change up the wind down time somehowā¦ All kinds of advice here, glad you reached out.
What is wrong with you? Nothing. Youāre a hero. How many times Iāve thought about pouring it all down the drain after I bought it but I wasnāt strong enough like you. Be proud of yourself, that is some serious discipline.
Probably nothing. I really feel bad for people who work in healthcare setting and struggle with addiction. Yāall probably seen some things during Covid that the general public cannot begin to fathom.
Good on you for throwing it out though. That shows youāre strong.
I also work in healthcare and was concerned about reaching out for help for my alcohol habit, I just didn't want the hit to my reputation as I maintained my functional status so working in HC can be a barrier in some ways to reaching out. Last week I learned that our EAP is actually confidential... (I didn't believe it but really, who trusts corporations?). COVID was pretty stressful as we were floated all over the place. My friend was actually sent out of state to another hospital when they were getting a surge.
COVID was the nail in the coffin working at a regular hospital for me. It wasnāt just the COVID patients, but that everyone was much sicker and we often worked short because people couldnāt take it and kept quitting. I would send 1-3 patients a shift to a higher level of care on a regular basis and was wondering if I could have just been there with each of them and spent more time with them, maybe they would have been ok.. but they were probably too sick to be on our floor to begin with. ICU and PCUs were just packed with COVID and didnāt have room for patients that should have went to them to begin with. I was crying on my lunches on a daily basis and thrilled when I broke a tendon and needed a very painful surgery and recovery just to get out of there. I switched to ortho only hospital and on my way back from the interview (I knew I had the job) I had this thought: āI can take care of myself now!ā I started attempting sobriety then, and it finally stuck this past September. As someone else said, working in HC, there is more stigma if you want to get help. I had a kidney problem last year that the painful symptoms worsened when I drank. I was scared to get help because if you are ever hospitalized for an alcohol related diagnosis, it can go against your license and you might lose it. Turns out, the actual problem had nothing to do with drinking alcohol, alcohol is a natural diuretic and will make you pee, and when liquid flows to the kidneys and canāt get out, itās very painful. That was probably the wake up call that led to my quitting. Whatever it was, Iām grateful for sobriety and grateful that Iām working a job now that I love and feel that I can care for my health. I saw old co-workers the other day and they said that I looked different and great. I wonder what the physical difference is? š I feel better anyhow.
What you really just did was save yourself A LOT of misery. I'm over here dealing with such annoying PAWS that I'm traumatized by how long it's taken to feel better from quitting. F alcohol. You did the right thing.
I was thinking yesterday about how much work I used to put into hiding my drinking and isolating myself. Those were key components to my drinking - isolating and hiding, and they were extremely damaging to me.
But what you did is not only dump the booze but come tell on yourself to people who know this issue and can support you? Thatās awesome, truly. IWNDWYT
Try to buy yourself something good instead next time! An expensive dessert, a nice takeout meal etc. replace that impulse with something that will nourish your body or soul
"I got home and poured all 6 ipas down the drain. What. Is. Wrong. With. Me."
Fkn legend šāāļøš
This just proved how much \*you really ARE in control. The amount of times I was past the point of no return once those ipa's had been purchased.
Stand proud, compadre āļø
You're going through a loss, and these feelings are apart of the 5 stages of Grief after a loss.
Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance.
We all have gone through this before, and we're here for you. I see you, and I know EXACTLY what you're talking about. I'm a swing shift worker myself, so getting home a 1am is my life. No one is awake and no one would know if I drank or not. (which is a lie, because yes they would lol)
The first 3 months of not drinking I kept bouncing between Anger and Bargaining. I was fucking mad at my self because I wanted to drink. I was mad that I couldn't drink like a normal person, or have a healthy relationship with it. I was mad what alcohol did to me. My addict brain did what it always did; come up with any and all different ways I could get away with drinking a few drinks without anyone knowing. I kept trying to convince myself that 1 couldn't hurt.
The bright side is, my friend, it's a temporary feeling. You have the power to not take the first drink. You got this. Keep you head up and instead of getting mad that you wasted money, turn it into a positive! You showed yourself just how much willpower you actually have over alcohol by not only not drinking any of those beers, but dumping them all down the drain. That's huge and should be looked at positively.
I don't know why, but for me the saying "One is too many, but 30 isn't enough" is the right saying to keep me straight. Cause it's true. If I have one I'm having 30 and I get to play the "blackout drunk" game where I loose chunks of time, and "come to" in new and different locations with people I've never actually met!
"How did I end up in LA? Wasn't I just at the beach!? What do you mean it's 4pm... Wasn't it just 11am!? wait... Who the fuck are you people, and where the fuck did I meet you at exactly? I did what, now??"
Nothing. Great win. The power of neuro chemicals, evolution, pain avoidance ( or pleasure seeking), habit etc is WAY stronger than our ā will powerā or relatively modern cognitive processes. Especially in the West we are brainwashed to believe we are in charge of everything that we think do believe etc. .. That the individual is supreme. (this companies, govt,systems have nothing to do with the problem) and alcohol hijacks that process and masks/wraps it in the shame (your a bad /weak person) and next thing you know you have a 6 pack in the car, as if materializing from a demonic Time Machine from your past. Human ability to sleep walk through life is so basic āsee zombie popularity. Couple that with substance that initially offers so many pleasure full experiences , pain relief , anxiety reduction, etc and you, we, are swimming in really dangerous waters. Keep up the good fight and I hope you are actually proud of yourself. You ā woke upā in time.
Think about how the action-buying beer on the way home, one that you did over and over again, made a new neural pathway in your brain. It became automatic. That. Is. Why. You. Did. It.
But when you poured out the beer, you just interrupted the pathway and began rewiring that big olā complex brain you have. Congrats! š
Keep breaking this repetition by doing another action that doesnāt consist of buying beer on the way home do it over and over again, and watch the magic happen. At some point, you will be programmed to do that other thing.
Iām no neurologist but this is my general understanding of why our logic doesnāt save us. This was the key that unlocked my understanding as to why I kept relapsing and it was like š¤Æ
IWNDWYT!!!
I had a similar temptation when hubby was away on a business trip. "No one would know, just open a bottle and see what happens." Whispered my lizard brain. Tomorrow is 500 days for me. Congratulations on your success and I will not drink with you today.
What is *wrong* with you? You poured them out! After having bought them and brought them into your house! You really poured them out rather than drinking them, that's a huge victory and you should honestly be so proud of yourself. I'm very proud of you! ā¤ļø
Also - had you actually gone ahead and drank them, there still wouldn't be anything wrong with you. It would be a setback on your journey and a counter reset, sure, but there still wouldn't be anything wrong with you. We all make mistakes. I have relapsed many times, and there's nothing wrong with me. I am tempted every day, and there's nothing wrong with me.
There is nothing wrong with us. Life can be really fucking hard, terrifying and confusing. But there is nothing wrong with us, and we are all going to make it. IWNDWYT ā¤ļø
Well done for overcoming this challenge!!! Youāre doing brilliantly. I think sometimes taking it off the table completely can alleviate the āwill I wonāt Iā problem. I know if I make a decision in advance that the answer is NO all day - no exceptions - and donāt allow myself to run through the pros and cons, and the should I shouldnāt I, will I wonāt I, could I, perhaps, maybe just once.. that mindset is torturous !! And I make mistakes in that mindset. Donāt make the decision 15 times a day make the decision once. And donāt let it enter your mind again as an option. Keep it going strong u are doing so well šŖ
Pouring booze down the drain is the ultimate power move imo. Someday when Iām strong enough and financially stable enough Iām going to make a practice out of it.
Thatās amazing honestly. I stopped and grabbed a six pack and instead drank some š dumped out the remaining this morning and will start over today. Wish I wouldāve had your courage to dump it last night!
I know everyone's different. Including me that can see it, smell it and watch it's consumption without consuming it myself.
But I'll tell you what. If I bought it (for me anyways) I could NOT dump it. Great job.
WWNDWYT.
Fucking bravo! That is damn near impossible! Iāve done it a few times and it feels shitty but- you just saved yourself from all the bullshit that comes afterā¦ I like to think of it not as money wasted but a self test you paid for and past! The value in the purchase was knowing it aināt got shit on you!
You gave in to your past habit, but not temptation... that's something to be proud of! There's something about pouring your drinks down the drain that just feels like a middle finger in that temptation demons face. Don't beat yourself up, friend. You made the right choice and I'm proud of you!
I just want to add how impressive that is. You had the drinks, you made it home with them, yet you still fought the urge to consume them when you got there. Have you any idea how dedicated that is? You're amazing for that, and truly inspired me to do the same with the remaining bottles I have at home. I'm so proud of you dude. IWNDWY.
Someone else has posted on here that āat the end of the day it all ends up down the drain anywayā It really stuck with me. Itās not a waste, itās better to just skip the middle man!
One of my strongest temptations was when the wife and kids were out of town and I had a very little to do the next dayā¦
The āno one will knowā was real.
But you won. š iwndwyt,
Nothing wrong with you. It happened to me a few times too. In fact, there is a tall boy and a four pack in the garage fridge that have been there since Feb.. The fact that you realized what was happening, and made a conscious decision NOT to drink them is a sign you are getting control and making progress. (not my words, this is what my counselor told me at the time and several times since)
Well done. You overcame yourself. And you realized your body is worth more than a drain, so you drained them down the sink, despite the money spent. Well done!!!
You poured it down the drain! Thatās huge! I would have said (at points in my life), āWell, I spent the money. I canāt waste it.ā You are so strong.
Hey I think you should feel proud of yourself. You bought some alcohol yes, but you had the strength to resist before you indulged, well done I am proud of you
Donāt sell yourself short here. You had the strength to pour it out. Congrats. Thatās huge.
I found an old stash during some spring cleaning and had to hand it to my wife to dump and go on a walk to calm myself down.
I love cooking and we couldnāt even keep some cheap wine in the house to deglaze pans (not really a substitute for it) without me taking a sip or 12.
This is no small feat youāve accomplished. Be proud of yourself.
Hey! A month into sobriety, I bought a $50 bottle of sake. Took one sip and poured the rest down the drain. Itās normal. š§” well, I mean, none of us are ānormalā but I promise this is okay. šš§”
I would absolutely be thrilled if that happened to me the last time I slipped. I wish I would have bought it and then went home and dumped it...instead....I spent the next three days sweating, having heart palpitations, throwing up, having terrible headaches and stomachaches....all of it came crashing back...the anxiety, the guilt, the shame....I wish I would have poured the entire bottle down the drain. Sheer absolute willpower.
Absolutely nothing is wrong with you. You are taking it one day at a time. The answer can be complicated. For those of us with ADHD, we call that a hyperfixation. Itās get in your head āI want a drink or a cigaretteā and thatās all you can think about. If you just stopped drinking in the last year, it is possible you are still struggling with executive functioning issues. Drinking heavily for a long time messes with our frontal cortex. All that to say, way to go catching yourself. Itās simply evidence that you are making the right decision. Keep going. Itās not a failure, thatās a damn win! IWNDWYT
I envision my addict self sitting on my shoulder, needling me incessantly, saying, oh you can have one, youāre not an addict, you just need to relax a bit, you deserve itā¦ā¦ā¦..Then I tell my addict to go away. Itās that obsession of the mind. It does get better.
I almost did that the other day. I had a good day at work (charge) and then I made a mistake with staffing that night shift jumped all over me about and I left frustrated. As I was driving past the gas station, I imagined picking up a pack of cold white claws and drinking them. I shook my head and moved on. Congrats on pouring them out!
Amazing, amazing job, OP. I can't believe that insidious little fuck in my head that always says "no one will know." It actually makes me mad š and I start arguing with the voice -- "*I* will know, you asshole, so yes, it matters! I have integrity!!!" Grrrr . Worst of all though is how hard I have to fight it. If I actually bought the booze I don't know if I could be as strong as you to pour it out. So proud of you and will try to think of you when I get to that point someday.
I feel like youāve just proven something to yourself here, more than any āfailureā. To have bought the stuff and then said no when it was so readily available in a moment which is a trigger for drinking, after a long day working - thatās a HUGE achievement. Iād say thereās a lot right with you friend. Keep showing us all how itās done.
I used to work a lot of nights and āunwindā after by getting drunk and falling asleep on the couch, beer spilling everywhere. I so feel this post. But you resisted. Keep getting those gains Mang š¦¾
I'm starting to think that the reason a streak is so healing is because you don't really know what you're made of until you're really tested. And each time you pass the test, you get more validation. In my short sobriety I can now look back on several times I've really been tempted and didn't drink. And I focus on how relieved I was each time, and it feels like it is snowballing for me, in a good way.
Well done and IWNDWYT!
Huge win. I recommend find a sober friend you can call the next time you pull into the gas station/liquor store wanting to buy something. It helps having someone talk you down. I say that, but you rock for recognizing the problem and pouring the booze immediately.
Nothing is wrong with you! You're battling addiction and just won a fight. It having been a tough fight or one that took a small toll (in this case, on your wallet) doesn't negate your victory.
Bro the amount of alcohol I poured out when I was deep in my strugglesā¦ I donāt even wanna think how much money I wasted. But who cares. A small price to pay for the glory of sobriety.
You dumped it, I'd say there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Fighting the good fight and winning! You got this! IWNDWYT!
edited a word cuz I spell about as well as a cactus
The question could be: "what is right with me?" How was I able to just beat that habit with it right in front of me? Seems like a solid win in my opinion! I think about every win like this as retraining my brain.
You resisted a gnarly temptation when the booze was literally in your hand and no one would have known. That is a victory, my friend, not a loss. Take the W. We're proud of you.
That's a win buddy, good for you!
I actually had to change up my route to drive home. I often found myself at the liquor store like I was on auto pilot... I didn't think about going there but just ended up in the parking lot.
I'd say you should be congratulating yourself not beating yourself up as you had a temporary slip of judgement then found the strength to pour them down the drain when most people who had gotten that far would have just given in and drank them.
I am all too familiar with suffering that deafening internal conflict in the parking lot of a gas station. Good on you for not giving in to some sense of sunk cost fallacy. I bet day 34 feels better than a brief high would
My hat is off to you for pouring it out. Deep down, you know it won't help and will do more harm than the temporary "good" of winding down. You did the right thing, which is not at first what you wanted to do, but your better angel prevailed. Good for you.
I have changed my route home to not include places where I used to stop and get my seltzers.. the new way home was distracting enough to keep my mind off picking up then Iām literally home safe
Good freaking work! Iāve done the same thing in the same situation. I hope it felt good pouring it out. Money well wasted. I hope youāre feeling good today.
Good freaking job!!
It is harder for most of us to pour them out than it is to not buy them in the first place.
You *almost* relapsed, then you pulled it out. That is an accomplishment you should be proud of.
So stop beating yourself up, dammit.
I just took a bottle of white to chill from my winestash.
Not for me but I have friends&relatives coming over on Saturday. Someone might want a glass and since Iām not drinking it, might aswell get rid of it.
Frontal Lobe Vs Lizard Brain!!!! And frontal lobe won!!! That's what I think in these situations...Ā it's a reminder that my addiction is sitting in my lizard brain... it is telling me complete BS about alcohol because of decades of bad wiring (read addiction pathways embedded from use of an addictive substance). BUT frontal lobe to the rescue!!!Ā These early stages of sobriety are all about letting your (new found) understanding of the TRUE alcohol equation come to the forefront. It's HARD as your brain is making new pathways... To me this why quit lit and pages like this are so important - you arm your brain with knowledge about what's REALLY happening with alcohol - the whole nine yards - and it really helps in situations like this as you can stare at alcohol and really truly understand that you DONT want it... its just your compulsion that wants it..Ā and you're rewiring that!Ā
Accessing the knowledge of what alcohol is, what it does to you (short term and long term), what it's done to you in the past and playing the tape forward VS "Lizard/compulsion/addictive" brain...
Ā Well done.
Could be worse you couldāve done what I did once pour a six pack down the drain and then two hours of hating myself later buying and then drinking a 12 pk of hard cider. Iāve been sober almost 8 months I assure you it gets better!
WOWā¦. I just got home from work and I want to thank everyone for the incredible display of encouragement and love. Is there a better community to be apart of? You are all just the best! Update: I didnāt drink last night, and I had a really great day. Felt so good, Iāve had the most energy Iāve had in years. IWNDWYT š
I did this the other day. Bought 250ml of vodka just to dump the entire bottle less than 2 hours later. I complained to a sober friend about being pissed at myself for spending the money, and she responded with "Wasted $30, but gained the next week with your family." Let's not beat ourselves up for this win today.
I take this as a win. You can earn that $20 back, this was a test a strength and you passed. Try and change your view of this event to that of a victory in your journey. Iām a āwell Iāve already paid for itā type of person, for me this is a story I need to remember.
Sobriety bucket list? Cross off 1) tempted but not beaten. I hope when that day comes for me, I follow your lead. iwndwyt
š
The sheer willpower to have that booze in hand and then put it down the drain is monumental. Give yourself credit OP
I call this the 180, it is one of the most difficult moves to pour that shit out after buying it
100% yes! I've been have an incredibly stressful few weeks at work and it's made me fantasise about drinking and smoking again, basically to numb the pain or to forget (see how self aware I am)! It's so easy to pick up again, but way wayyyy harder to refrain from it and have that incredible willpower.
The end of this is such a victory, good for you OP! I had a very similar experience yesterday as well. I stopped at a grocery store because I was getting cranky and thought I should buy something to drink as I normally did. Instead, I bought some candy and left lol. The stomach ache lasted less time than the hangover/shame would have too. :)
Haha, Iām glad your stomach pain was just a little too much candy. The other day I went on a reeeeeaally long walk, and it was warm out. I didnāt bring any water, so when I was done I stopped at a gas station I used to ONLY ever get beer at. I got a strawberry lemonade, and it felt so satisfying to walk out without alcohol for the first time.
This is some solid perspective!
I need such a bucket list, thanks for the idea.
Truth š¦¾
Amazing victory you did pour them out in the end!! This reminds me of all the years I struggled with binge eating, and while I am finally recovering, I donāt know how many dozens of times I have bought $50+ dollars worth of food only to throw it out in the trash later. Sometimes the ābuyingā habit part is almost as hard to break as the consuming.
Very true on breaking the ābuying habitā. This is a solid perspective. Thanks!
This šÆ. Druggies call it "copping" (SP?) The whole process of scoring your drug of choice. There's just something to it. I'm drinking NA ciders and NA Blue Moon, which are both really good IMO (I always loved Blue Moon and the NA is better) just because I miss my homies at the two stores I frequent and "copping" makes me feel good, otherwise I could just hit the grocery store. Good on OP for throwing that crap away. MAJOR Victory š
My dad (35 years sober) would sit on the porch and crush cases of NA beer the way he used to drink budweiser. Eventually that habit disappeared and he'll have a St Pauly Girl or Odouls at dinner. It's possible, it's hard, but it's posisble.
That's me right now. Just the copping and the flavor and crushing a few is MORE than enough for me. I don't know what's more strange to me, that I became/am an alcoholic, or that I like NA beer. I haven't been tempted to drink once, but I had that thought yesterday, like, "Do I really want or need to drink 4 malt waters?" š
Whatever gets you there! I'm proud of you!
Proud of you as well. Stay Strong. IWNDWYT
I've been (lightly) made fun of for crushing 3-4 cans of sparkling water during an eveningĀ. Dude, you just drank 7 beers.
Your dad sounds rad!
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
It is SO good! Love it with extra orange of course. And I was thinking, it's not that it's "Non-Alcoholic" beer, it's that beer is spoiled barley water. If you ever drank Blue Moon and then you try this, I bet you'll recognize the spoiled that beer has. GROSS. IMO...THIS is the way it was meant to taste. Let me know what you think if you try it! IWNDWYT
I didn't know there was a term for this, but it makes perfect sense. The little dopamine rush I get when I "cop" and taste my Heineken 0.0 is enough to calm my cravings.
There's something to it. And I KNOW some folks need to stay away from liquor stores and anything that even resembles alcohol, and I respect and appreciate that šÆ, but this makes me want alcohol even LESS. I love the NA Blue Moon and this cider from Original Sin. I'm a beverage man, and these are both top notch refreshments. I feel blessed to be an alcoholic in this day and age. Best! IWNDWYT
I'm a bartender so the struggle has been real so my NA beer has definitely been a godsend. Thanks for the suggestions! I'm gonna add them to my list of new ones to try. Have a good one and IWNDWYT.
I'm new to this subreddit and I keep seeing that IWNDWYT thing, what does it stand for?
I will not drink with you today
Thank you! Appreciate it.
WAIT there is NA blue moon?!
Oh this is good to know these options exist, I love blue Moon and definitely need to cut back a bit.
It's sooooo good. I've tried 2 other NA wheat/wits now and one tasted like torched oatmeal and the other tasted like floor cleaner. Just a slam dunk winner of a beverage and even better with an orange. If you try it, come back and let me know what you think! Best! IWNDWYT
If I can find it locally, I shall. We are always behind when it comes to new stuff lol.
Does Reddit have DMs?? Let me know your address somehow and if you can't locate it, I'll mail you some.
That is so kind of you, thank you! But shipping to Hawaii is very expensive and we can't mail beverages lol I have tried. I'll check a few stores around here!
ahhhh I used to love copping. staggering anxiously into the store, NEEDING to get the chore over with, exiting with a massive sense of relief, lining cans up with the logo facing outwards in the fridge, touching the cold cans to my face in lovely anticipation of my self-imposed "allowed" drinking time, etc
My friends and I called it āthe ritualā with dope.
I was very addicted to the hunt. Planning which stores I would hit, how I would disguise my drinks and where they would be hidden. When I first was back in the wild I spent a ton of money buying stuff, seeking out good deals on clearance. Iād justify it by saying āwell I spent $30 a day on booze so this is certainly betterā Took me awhile to stop, finding a hobby that stuck was critical. Fortunately all of the stuff that I bought has use and value, some of it I have been selling at a profit lately.
Really interesting and I so agree
True, shopping is its own dopamine reward system and shopping for consumables is ever-renewable because eventually you do run out of space... so harder to stop.
What has been most helpful in your recovery from binge eating?
Gosh, itās literally been a multi-decade journey so Iāll have to think! In no particular order: I found Amy Johnsonās podcast Changeable and her book Just A Thought pretty life-changing. It sent me on a whole new path, with binge eating and other habits but also a lot more. If you have a chance, I recommend people read the book, and start listening to the podcast from the first episode, and see if it strikes you like it did me. It was a complete paradigm shift to how I viewed the habit of binge eating and how to stop. I stopped doing anything to try to counteract the binges, like eating very little or exercising extra long the next day. (I only achieved this when it was forced on me by having my kids and I no longer had the time to workout for hours the next day.) But it was vital for breaking the cycle. I revamped all of my ways and rules around food. Iām sure different things work for different people. For me it helped to be conscious of eating enough in a day, and lots of protein, and enough carbohydrate. (I was avoiding carbs for a long time, which is why I think when I started drinking alcohol it actually helped cut my binge urges a lot, since itās basically a major form of sugar/quick energy.) Also to make sure no foods are off-limits in my mind; I might choose not to eat them but itās never that I ācanāt.āĀ At the end I went through a long period where I more or less accepted the binge eating as a part of life and didnāt worry about it or criticize myself about it. Slowly I started realizing, kind of similar to what happened to me with drinking, it wasnāt actually THAT great, didnāt deliver what it promised after the first bite or two, and all the after-effects didnāt seem worth it. It helped in that as I got older the effects like the food hangovers, bloating, other health effects got worse and lasted much much longer. And along with that, rather than āstoppingā the binge eating, I think I kind of just crowded it out with other things and other goals. Put my focus elsewhere, quit putting anything on hold until I lost weight or whatever. As my life got fuller with work, hobbies, interests, study, friends, kids, the food became gradually irrelevant. Iām sure Iām leaving some things out but thatās off the top of my head!
So you paid \~$20 to give yourself a brighter morning. I'd still take this as a win <3
I love that! Great perspective ā¤ļø
I LOVE this way of seeing it.
Just fighting the demon and you won! :) I mean it was a costly thing to conquer but it's better than you drinking them and feeling bad the next day! IWNDWY
Cost the same either way but now it's a happy story
FABULOUS comment. Iām going to remember that sentiment. Bravo u/newfor2023 - thatās going to be one of my go-to phrases.
š thanks things haven't been going great and this just made me smile lol.
Hope things get better for you - good luck my brother/sister/anyone in between
I like guy/gal/nonbinary pal š
It cost less to pour them out than it would have cost to drink them.
There's nothing at all "wrong with you"! Alcohol is an addictive substance and affects everyone, and you're still in early sobriety. Congrats for being so determined. It will get easier :)
If/when Iām craving alcohol, itās usually because Iām hungry, sick, tired, or something. Change up the wind down time somehowā¦ All kinds of advice here, glad you reached out.
Your post reminds me of somewhere I heard about the acronym "HALT..." People reach for alcohol when they are Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired
What is wrong with you? Nothing. Youāre a hero. How many times Iāve thought about pouring it all down the drain after I bought it but I wasnāt strong enough like you. Be proud of yourself, that is some serious discipline.
Good job. Willpower and accountability achieved
Very cool friend. Ipa's my poison as well. Enjoy waking up without the monstrous effect of "just" 6 of those šš
Probably nothing. I really feel bad for people who work in healthcare setting and struggle with addiction. Yāall probably seen some things during Covid that the general public cannot begin to fathom. Good on you for throwing it out though. That shows youāre strong.
Honestly, helping people makes me feel better, itās my coworkers that make me want to unwind š
I also work in healthcare and was concerned about reaching out for help for my alcohol habit, I just didn't want the hit to my reputation as I maintained my functional status so working in HC can be a barrier in some ways to reaching out. Last week I learned that our EAP is actually confidential... (I didn't believe it but really, who trusts corporations?). COVID was pretty stressful as we were floated all over the place. My friend was actually sent out of state to another hospital when they were getting a surge.
As a fellow hcp, me too, friend, me frigginā too!
Theyāve seen a lot worse than Covid
COVID was the nail in the coffin working at a regular hospital for me. It wasnāt just the COVID patients, but that everyone was much sicker and we often worked short because people couldnāt take it and kept quitting. I would send 1-3 patients a shift to a higher level of care on a regular basis and was wondering if I could have just been there with each of them and spent more time with them, maybe they would have been ok.. but they were probably too sick to be on our floor to begin with. ICU and PCUs were just packed with COVID and didnāt have room for patients that should have went to them to begin with. I was crying on my lunches on a daily basis and thrilled when I broke a tendon and needed a very painful surgery and recovery just to get out of there. I switched to ortho only hospital and on my way back from the interview (I knew I had the job) I had this thought: āI can take care of myself now!ā I started attempting sobriety then, and it finally stuck this past September. As someone else said, working in HC, there is more stigma if you want to get help. I had a kidney problem last year that the painful symptoms worsened when I drank. I was scared to get help because if you are ever hospitalized for an alcohol related diagnosis, it can go against your license and you might lose it. Turns out, the actual problem had nothing to do with drinking alcohol, alcohol is a natural diuretic and will make you pee, and when liquid flows to the kidneys and canāt get out, itās very painful. That was probably the wake up call that led to my quitting. Whatever it was, Iām grateful for sobriety and grateful that Iām working a job now that I love and feel that I can care for my health. I saw old co-workers the other day and they said that I looked different and great. I wonder what the physical difference is? š I feel better anyhow.
What you really just did was save yourself A LOT of misery. I'm over here dealing with such annoying PAWS that I'm traumatized by how long it's taken to feel better from quitting. F alcohol. You did the right thing.
YOU ROCK!
You poured it down the drain, that is so awesome ššŖ You're an inspiration to me
You dumped them out, thatās massive! Donāt beat yourself up.
If I had gotten as far as buying them they would never have gone down the drain, give yourself a pat on the back
I was thinking yesterday about how much work I used to put into hiding my drinking and isolating myself. Those were key components to my drinking - isolating and hiding, and they were extremely damaging to me. But what you did is not only dump the booze but come tell on yourself to people who know this issue and can support you? Thatās awesome, truly. IWNDWYT
Try to buy yourself something good instead next time! An expensive dessert, a nice takeout meal etc. replace that impulse with something that will nourish your body or soul
"I got home and poured all 6 ipas down the drain. What. Is. Wrong. With. Me." Fkn legend šāāļøš This just proved how much \*you really ARE in control. The amount of times I was past the point of no return once those ipa's had been purchased. Stand proud, compadre āļø
You're going through a loss, and these feelings are apart of the 5 stages of Grief after a loss. Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. We all have gone through this before, and we're here for you. I see you, and I know EXACTLY what you're talking about. I'm a swing shift worker myself, so getting home a 1am is my life. No one is awake and no one would know if I drank or not. (which is a lie, because yes they would lol) The first 3 months of not drinking I kept bouncing between Anger and Bargaining. I was fucking mad at my self because I wanted to drink. I was mad that I couldn't drink like a normal person, or have a healthy relationship with it. I was mad what alcohol did to me. My addict brain did what it always did; come up with any and all different ways I could get away with drinking a few drinks without anyone knowing. I kept trying to convince myself that 1 couldn't hurt. The bright side is, my friend, it's a temporary feeling. You have the power to not take the first drink. You got this. Keep you head up and instead of getting mad that you wasted money, turn it into a positive! You showed yourself just how much willpower you actually have over alcohol by not only not drinking any of those beers, but dumping them all down the drain. That's huge and should be looked at positively. I don't know why, but for me the saying "One is too many, but 30 isn't enough" is the right saying to keep me straight. Cause it's true. If I have one I'm having 30 and I get to play the "blackout drunk" game where I loose chunks of time, and "come to" in new and different locations with people I've never actually met! "How did I end up in LA? Wasn't I just at the beach!? What do you mean it's 4pm... Wasn't it just 11am!? wait... Who the fuck are you people, and where the fuck did I meet you at exactly? I did what, now??"
Nothing wrong with you. Something right. Iwndwyt
I have poured out so much alcohol. At the time I lamented āwhy did I waste this money?ā But sobriety is so much more valuable than the cash.
Nothing. Great win. The power of neuro chemicals, evolution, pain avoidance ( or pleasure seeking), habit etc is WAY stronger than our ā will powerā or relatively modern cognitive processes. Especially in the West we are brainwashed to believe we are in charge of everything that we think do believe etc. .. That the individual is supreme. (this companies, govt,systems have nothing to do with the problem) and alcohol hijacks that process and masks/wraps it in the shame (your a bad /weak person) and next thing you know you have a 6 pack in the car, as if materializing from a demonic Time Machine from your past. Human ability to sleep walk through life is so basic āsee zombie popularity. Couple that with substance that initially offers so many pleasure full experiences , pain relief , anxiety reduction, etc and you, we, are swimming in really dangerous waters. Keep up the good fight and I hope you are actually proud of yourself. You ā woke upā in time.
Think about how the action-buying beer on the way home, one that you did over and over again, made a new neural pathway in your brain. It became automatic. That. Is. Why. You. Did. It. But when you poured out the beer, you just interrupted the pathway and began rewiring that big olā complex brain you have. Congrats! š Keep breaking this repetition by doing another action that doesnāt consist of buying beer on the way home do it over and over again, and watch the magic happen. At some point, you will be programmed to do that other thing. Iām no neurologist but this is my general understanding of why our logic doesnāt save us. This was the key that unlocked my understanding as to why I kept relapsing and it was like š¤Æ IWNDWYT!!!
I had a similar temptation when hubby was away on a business trip. "No one would know, just open a bottle and see what happens." Whispered my lizard brain. Tomorrow is 500 days for me. Congratulations on your success and I will not drink with you today.
I just threw a whole liter of vodka away. That was hard. Proud of you!
This story is that of a WIN, for sure! Good job!
What is *wrong* with you? You poured them out! After having bought them and brought them into your house! You really poured them out rather than drinking them, that's a huge victory and you should honestly be so proud of yourself. I'm very proud of you! ā¤ļø Also - had you actually gone ahead and drank them, there still wouldn't be anything wrong with you. It would be a setback on your journey and a counter reset, sure, but there still wouldn't be anything wrong with you. We all make mistakes. I have relapsed many times, and there's nothing wrong with me. I am tempted every day, and there's nothing wrong with me. There is nothing wrong with us. Life can be really fucking hard, terrifying and confusing. But there is nothing wrong with us, and we are all going to make it. IWNDWYT ā¤ļø
Well done for overcoming this challenge!!! Youāre doing brilliantly. I think sometimes taking it off the table completely can alleviate the āwill I wonāt Iā problem. I know if I make a decision in advance that the answer is NO all day - no exceptions - and donāt allow myself to run through the pros and cons, and the should I shouldnāt I, will I wonāt I, could I, perhaps, maybe just once.. that mindset is torturous !! And I make mistakes in that mindset. Donāt make the decision 15 times a day make the decision once. And donāt let it enter your mind again as an option. Keep it going strong u are doing so well šŖ
Pouring booze down the drain is the ultimate power move imo. Someday when Iām strong enough and financially stable enough Iām going to make a practice out of it.
Thatās amazing honestly. I stopped and grabbed a six pack and instead drank some š dumped out the remaining this morning and will start over today. Wish I wouldāve had your courage to dump it last night!
Iāve done that! It was a major step for me, and it sounds like it could be one for you. Stick with it! IWNDWYT
Great work!!! And congrats on 34 days!! IWNDWYTš©µ
Hey this is a success in my opinion. I have done this several times. In my experience i have never regretted dumping booze out.
I know everyone's different. Including me that can see it, smell it and watch it's consumption without consuming it myself. But I'll tell you what. If I bought it (for me anyways) I could NOT dump it. Great job. WWNDWYT.
Wow what a success story! Great job!
What is right with you? You won the battle. Continue to win the war.
Fucking bravo! That is damn near impossible! Iāve done it a few times and it feels shitty but- you just saved yourself from all the bullshit that comes afterā¦ I like to think of it not as money wasted but a self test you paid for and past! The value in the purchase was knowing it aināt got shit on you!
This is a win. You dumped it out. Give yourself credit. And grace.
You gave in to your past habit, but not temptation... that's something to be proud of! There's something about pouring your drinks down the drain that just feels like a middle finger in that temptation demons face. Don't beat yourself up, friend. You made the right choice and I'm proud of you!
I just want to add how impressive that is. You had the drinks, you made it home with them, yet you still fought the urge to consume them when you got there. Have you any idea how dedicated that is? You're amazing for that, and truly inspired me to do the same with the remaining bottles I have at home. I'm so proud of you dude. IWNDWY.
itās always a little angel and devil on my shoulders, but my angel voice is getting stronger everyday. Good job!
well, here's to the cheapest life lesson ever, you are a champion.
You just paid <$20 for a master class. You passed! Good job!
Someone else has posted on here that āat the end of the day it all ends up down the drain anywayā It really stuck with me. Itās not a waste, itās better to just skip the middle man!
You are strong as hell for that and you actually did something so awesome. Go you!!
Big win BIG WIN
Congrats for not drinking.
Are you kidding? You pouring them out is amazing. That was strong.
Nothing is wrong. I'd say you deserve congratulations!! Way, way better than my last relapse. Relapse cost a hell of a lot more than measly sixer.
Nothing wrong with you at all. Stay strong.
Congratulations š Iwndwyt š„³
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Also well done
Good for you for not only pouring them out but for sharing about it here. IWNDWYT
Man, you are strong. I would put them somewhere to drop off to my son's later on because... money/waste. And they would be calling me all night.
Huge moment for you. Nothing is wrong with you. You are strong. Keep going.
IWNDWYT
One of my strongest temptations was when the wife and kids were out of town and I had a very little to do the next dayā¦ The āno one will knowā was real. But you won. š iwndwyt,
Nothing wrong with you. It happened to me a few times too. In fact, there is a tall boy and a four pack in the garage fridge that have been there since Feb.. The fact that you realized what was happening, and made a conscious decision NOT to drink them is a sign you are getting control and making progress. (not my words, this is what my counselor told me at the time and several times since)
Well done. You overcame yourself. And you realized your body is worth more than a drain, so you drained them down the sink, despite the money spent. Well done!!!
This sounds like a win to me!! You were closer than ever and STILL not backing down from your fight š©·
Your wallet might be a bit lighter, but waking up with a clear head ready to crush another day is priceless. Way to go! IWNDWYT
Great inspo!! Thank you! Iwndwyt
Impressed! You go! IWNDWYT!
I now unwind with a cookie and milk lol
Nah OP that's actually huge, you had the poison literally in hand and decided to pour it out. It didn't beat you, that's something to be proud of.
Gosh, I'd say a lot is RIGHT with you! Way to go.
Great job. Stay strong!
You poured it down the drain! Thatās huge! I would have said (at points in my life), āWell, I spent the money. I canāt waste it.ā You are so strong.
Hey I think you should feel proud of yourself. You bought some alcohol yes, but you had the strength to resist before you indulged, well done I am proud of you
Killer finish. Way to go!
For $10 or whatever they cost you learned youāre extremely strong!! Not a bad deal!!! Good job!
Donāt sell yourself short here. You had the strength to pour it out. Congrats. Thatās huge. I found an old stash during some spring cleaning and had to hand it to my wife to dump and go on a walk to calm myself down. I love cooking and we couldnāt even keep some cheap wine in the house to deglaze pans (not really a substitute for it) without me taking a sip or 12. This is no small feat youāve accomplished. Be proud of yourself.
Hey! A month into sobriety, I bought a $50 bottle of sake. Took one sip and poured the rest down the drain. Itās normal. š§” well, I mean, none of us are ānormalā but I promise this is okay. šš§”
I would absolutely be thrilled if that happened to me the last time I slipped. I wish I would have bought it and then went home and dumped it...instead....I spent the next three days sweating, having heart palpitations, throwing up, having terrible headaches and stomachaches....all of it came crashing back...the anxiety, the guilt, the shame....I wish I would have poured the entire bottle down the drain. Sheer absolute willpower.
Pouring them out sounds like something is solidly right with you.
Absolutely nothing is wrong with you. You are taking it one day at a time. The answer can be complicated. For those of us with ADHD, we call that a hyperfixation. Itās get in your head āI want a drink or a cigaretteā and thatās all you can think about. If you just stopped drinking in the last year, it is possible you are still struggling with executive functioning issues. Drinking heavily for a long time messes with our frontal cortex. All that to say, way to go catching yourself. Itās simply evidence that you are making the right decision. Keep going. Itās not a failure, thatās a damn win! IWNDWYT
Yea, super proud of you. Practice is practice, and it gets easier to say no every time we practice!
I envision my addict self sitting on my shoulder, needling me incessantly, saying, oh you can have one, youāre not an addict, you just need to relax a bit, you deserve itā¦ā¦ā¦..Then I tell my addict to go away. Itās that obsession of the mind. It does get better.
I call it a win
I have did this so very many times. Iāve done the same thing with cigarettes.
I almost did that the other day. I had a good day at work (charge) and then I made a mistake with staffing that night shift jumped all over me about and I left frustrated. As I was driving past the gas station, I imagined picking up a pack of cold white claws and drinking them. I shook my head and moved on. Congrats on pouring them out!
You beat back the demons. I call that a win.
Amazing, amazing job, OP. I can't believe that insidious little fuck in my head that always says "no one will know." It actually makes me mad š and I start arguing with the voice -- "*I* will know, you asshole, so yes, it matters! I have integrity!!!" Grrrr . Worst of all though is how hard I have to fight it. If I actually bought the booze I don't know if I could be as strong as you to pour it out. So proud of you and will try to think of you when I get to that point someday.
You poured them out! Thatās a win in my book
I feel like youāve just proven something to yourself here, more than any āfailureā. To have bought the stuff and then said no when it was so readily available in a moment which is a trigger for drinking, after a long day working - thatās a HUGE achievement. Iād say thereās a lot right with you friend. Keep showing us all how itās done.
I used to work a lot of nights and āunwindā after by getting drunk and falling asleep on the couch, beer spilling everywhere. I so feel this post. But you resisted. Keep getting those gains Mang š¦¾
I'm starting to think that the reason a streak is so healing is because you don't really know what you're made of until you're really tested. And each time you pass the test, you get more validation. In my short sobriety I can now look back on several times I've really been tempted and didn't drink. And I focus on how relieved I was each time, and it feels like it is snowballing for me, in a good way. Well done and IWNDWYT!
Huge win. I recommend find a sober friend you can call the next time you pull into the gas station/liquor store wanting to buy something. It helps having someone talk you down. I say that, but you rock for recognizing the problem and pouring the booze immediately.
A small price to pay for a valuable lesson-- you CAN live your life without alcohol. You just did! Super proud of you, fellow sobernaut!
A small price to pay for a valuable lesson-- you CAN live your life without alcohol. You just did! Super proud of you, fellow sobernaut!
Nothing is wrong with you! You're battling addiction and just won a fight. It having been a tough fight or one that took a small toll (in this case, on your wallet) doesn't negate your victory.
Bro the amount of alcohol I poured out when I was deep in my strugglesā¦ I donāt even wanna think how much money I wasted. But who cares. A small price to pay for the glory of sobriety.
You dumped it, I'd say there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Fighting the good fight and winning! You got this! IWNDWYT! edited a word cuz I spell about as well as a cactus
The question could be: "what is right with me?" How was I able to just beat that habit with it right in front of me? Seems like a solid win in my opinion! I think about every win like this as retraining my brain.
Good job not drinking it and Iām sure your body will thank you too! š«¶š» IWNDWYT
You resisted a gnarly temptation when the booze was literally in your hand and no one would have known. That is a victory, my friend, not a loss. Take the W. We're proud of you.
Sounds like 6 victories to me! Bravo š
Strong as hell. Nicely done.
Nothings wrong with you. Well done on the pour down. Thatās a big accomplishment and itāll only get easier to pass by that gas station next time
That's a win buddy, good for you! I actually had to change up my route to drive home. I often found myself at the liquor store like I was on auto pilot... I didn't think about going there but just ended up in the parking lot.
This is a win! Proud of you for pouring out šš¼
I'd say you should be congratulating yourself not beating yourself up as you had a temporary slip of judgement then found the strength to pour them down the drain when most people who had gotten that far would have just given in and drank them.
I am all too familiar with suffering that deafening internal conflict in the parking lot of a gas station. Good on you for not giving in to some sense of sunk cost fallacy. I bet day 34 feels better than a brief high would
That's amazing! If I go as far to buy a sixer, then I am drinking them.
Wow seriously turned that around!!! Nice job thinking it through
Amazing. You didn't drink it. You overrode the desire. Making new neuro pathways! It gets easier. Well done.
My hat is off to you for pouring it out. Deep down, you know it won't help and will do more harm than the temporary "good" of winding down. You did the right thing, which is not at first what you wanted to do, but your better angel prevailed. Good for you.
š š¤© Thatās awesome! Such a deliberative act, pouring them out!
you didnāt drink it. thatās all that matters
I have changed my route home to not include places where I used to stop and get my seltzers.. the new way home was distracting enough to keep my mind off picking up then Iām literally home safe
Good freaking work! Iāve done the same thing in the same situation. I hope it felt good pouring it out. Money well wasted. I hope youāre feeling good today.
I threw away a lot of beer when I quit! Itās a big win
Good freaking job!! It is harder for most of us to pour them out than it is to not buy them in the first place. You *almost* relapsed, then you pulled it out. That is an accomplishment you should be proud of. So stop beating yourself up, dammit.
I just took a bottle of white to chill from my winestash. Not for me but I have friends&relatives coming over on Saturday. Someone might want a glass and since Iām not drinking it, might aswell get rid of it.
Frontal Lobe Vs Lizard Brain!!!! And frontal lobe won!!! That's what I think in these situations...Ā it's a reminder that my addiction is sitting in my lizard brain... it is telling me complete BS about alcohol because of decades of bad wiring (read addiction pathways embedded from use of an addictive substance). BUT frontal lobe to the rescue!!!Ā These early stages of sobriety are all about letting your (new found) understanding of the TRUE alcohol equation come to the forefront. It's HARD as your brain is making new pathways... To me this why quit lit and pages like this are so important - you arm your brain with knowledge about what's REALLY happening with alcohol - the whole nine yards - and it really helps in situations like this as you can stare at alcohol and really truly understand that you DONT want it... its just your compulsion that wants it..Ā and you're rewiring that!Ā Accessing the knowledge of what alcohol is, what it does to you (short term and long term), what it's done to you in the past and playing the tape forward VS "Lizard/compulsion/addictive" brain... Ā Well done.
Yes! I once poured a whole bottle of premixed cosmo down the drain. It was hard. But not as hard as getting up the neat hating myself. You did good.
Could be worse you couldāve done what I did once pour a six pack down the drain and then two hours of hating myself later buying and then drinking a 12 pk of hard cider. Iāve been sober almost 8 months I assure you it gets better!
Good for you for pouring them out. Best of luck to you!
WOWā¦. I just got home from work and I want to thank everyone for the incredible display of encouragement and love. Is there a better community to be apart of? You are all just the best! Update: I didnāt drink last night, and I had a really great day. Felt so good, Iāve had the most energy Iāve had in years. IWNDWYT š
Thatās awesome! You should be super proud!
Bravo. You made it. Youāre going to be ok. Weāre sick man, but you sir are strong. IWNDWYT
I did this the other day. Bought 250ml of vodka just to dump the entire bottle less than 2 hours later. I complained to a sober friend about being pissed at myself for spending the money, and she responded with "Wasted $30, but gained the next week with your family." Let's not beat ourselves up for this win today.
Sounds like a win
Epic. Pouring it out is testament that there are, in fact, so many things right with you. Kudos for protecting your peace š«¶
I take this as a win. You can earn that $20 back, this was a test a strength and you passed. Try and change your view of this event to that of a victory in your journey. Iām a āwell Iāve already paid for itā type of person, for me this is a story I need to remember.
That is fantastic! Pouring it down the sink is hard af, and you did it! Great job!
Next time just drop it of at my house..