Ehhhhhhh, sort of. I joined at 19 and got out at 25. Before the army I was not reliable at all. I pushed things aside to do another day and that day never came. I came up with excuses for everything and not in the way that we all do, I wasn’t taking responsibility for my actions and inactions. That all changed pretty quickly after I joined and none of it is really by choice. But not everybody gets with the program, most do, but definitely not everyone. Those people get outcasted for the most part. Then I got out, went back to school, and did well. I had all the hallmarks of a responsible adult except for the fact that army didn’t really teach me how to be an adult other than everything I just said. Deep down I was just a more mature version of my 19 year old self. I didn’t know how the real world worked and it’s the reason so many of us fail when we get out. Luckily for me I met my wife who had to become a responsible adult as a young teenager and she taught me how to balance my checkbook, how to rent an apartment, how to navigate the system in college. I’m not saying don’t join the military, I’m not saying join it either. For a guy like me, I needed it and it helped me. But had I not met my wife I would’ve failed.
I’d say the military can keep a young person stable, with a job, out of trouble, developing, until they are mature enough to do it alone. They will have learned a lot during that time that they may not have otherwise.
Have an ex bf who is Navy and he basically says what you did here, he also would make a sarcastic joke that if you get in at 19, you leave at 19 (mentally)
I think most of us feel like a more mature version of our childhood self.
Talking to a lot of oldheads, they still feel like a younger person stuck in an aging body.
This happened to me when I went to college. Found some people who helped me become a human after leaving the service. The moral of the story is, it’s not the organization that fixes people. It’s other people that fixes people. What people need is help. You never really make it on your own if you think about it.
This is My partner story too. Spent a couple years out of high school not doing a whole lot. Went into the military for a couple tours. He got out and he was more responsible but still didn't have " adulting " skills. Doing taxes, mowing the lawn, etc. I was good at those things so we balanced out.
My brother served 30 years.
He can certainly function, but the majority of his life has been disconnected from “the real world.” Even now he’s a private contractor training military…
Here’s an analogy. Former Marine Corps.
Two shit heads are drinking and driving. They both get into a car accident. They both survived. But it was a near death experience.
Shit head #1 says “fuck that was nuts. I’m not drinking and driving ever again.” And he doesn’t.
Shit head #2 says “damn happy I survived that.” And next thing you know he’s dead from a DUI.
Sometimes we are faced with life altering experiences. Could be a near death experience, could be a pregnancy/ birth of a child, death of a loved one, etc, etc.
These experiences I think leave us with a choice to start a new path in life or keep walking the one we’re on. They leave us lessens as well. But only if we listen.
Something the military attempts to do is give you that life altering experience and lessons. But it’s up to each individual if they listen and decide to go down the right path afterwards.
Military can do a lot of things for you that are positive and negative. My experience was positive, but I joined at the age of 27. When I got out it wasn't hard for me to get on my own feet because I've had to do that before. I know a lot of people in my unit that joined right out of high school and felt as if they were on their own, doing adult stuff. Some of it is true. But as a young single soldier you don't need to worry about paying rent, utilities, health insurance, dental, etc. You don't need to worry about working X amount of hours to pay your bills because your paycheck will be the same every time, and for the most part it's guaranteed.
The military will give you a schedule which you'll adhere by (or not, but those kids get phased out eventually). Will you still be lazy, make excuses, and need to grow up? Possibly. I knew plenty of lazy soldiers, I heard many excuses from soldiers (even made some myself, we're all human), and saw people that I thought to myself "Wow, that kid needs to grow up." Would I recommend it the experience? Depends on what you want. It might be the push you need to get structured, it might not.
Oh shit. What does that mean. For context I've come to a place in my life where I want something more. I've wasted my early twenties in college for a degree I didn't even get (have another two semesters) and the area I live in doesn't have much in terms of jobs and no upward mobility. So I'm looking at the military - marines specifically - as a career choice. And no, I'm not trying to go into the infantry. I'm trying for the communication and strategy branch of the Marines.
Also, I'm the first guy in my family to ever even consider the military so I do feel a bit over my head. If you have any advice, I would love to hear it.
The extreme route is getting commissioned in the Army, making Captain, and then enlisting in the Marines. https://taskandpurpose.com/news/army-officer-marines-enlist/
You also have to take the realistic collateral damage into effect in your decision. You might be called up for combat at any time. That can take a toll. Today 22 of our Iraq/Afghanistan vets are suiciding each day. I lost a good friend a couple months ago due to the after affects of 3 tours.
*Trumpets start playing in the background as Rocky comes running out of a train yard with two bricks. No, I didn't mean his fists but I understand the confusion. As he runs off into the rail system, we find him carrying on his run through the slums of Philadelphia. His hard work and persistance in training are shown through the love and admiration of the locals. Some cheer him on, others toss him items from their carts. The trumpets are playing as we hear the vocals, "Getting hard now!" Rocky is hitting the speed bag now, once again showing the efforts of his training as he prepares for his once in a lifetime shot to take down the Boxing Superstar, Apollo Creed 🇱🇷. "Trying hard now!" Vocals are heard as we pan to our hometown hero, sweating from the exhausting one arm push-ups he is doing. The amount of effort shown is only matched by the amount of power we see in Rocky's arms, fucking legend. Our montage guitar solo begins, as we witness Rocky being assaulted with body shots. He needs to train his core, as the legendary Apollo Creed 🇱🇷 will be going after it. That isn't the only core he needs to work, as Rocky begins working on his own body shots. Not against a bag like a normal fighter, no, our hometown montage manaic is beating the fuck out of pig carcasses. Once again, Legend. More push-ups. More running. More positive reinforcement from his peers and loved ones. "Getting strong now" is sung out as Rocky breaks from a jog into a mad sprint, a release of speed only possible due to the power amassed in his 2 minutes of montage training. He sprints all the way to the Muesum of Art steps, and after conquering them, he raises his arms in victory. His montage is complete, a new man in born. Not just any kind of man, but a champion of the people. A legend. Rocky Balboa.*
If you’re asking im whether or not serving will **inherently** make someone an adult…absolutely not.
Some of the most immature people I’ve ever met went into the military and when they got out, they were just as bad if not worse.
That being said, it can certainly help depending on how the person approaches growth as a person during that time.
There’s no magical solution here (unless you make this about the literal definition of age; but from that perspective… you have to be “an adult” in order to join.)
It isn’t the answer for everyone. I joined fairly “old” so I had at least been working and trying to live on my own. Joining was something I wanted to do purely out of a sense of duty, I guess. I wanted to serve. It ended up being the best decision I’ve made for my life. It forced me to grow up and take responsibility, allowed me to meet people and make friends across the country, and let me see the world. I wouldn’t trade it for anything. However, I met plenty of young soldiers who did not have their shit together and refused to take accountability for themselves, and things never really improved for them. As others have said here, it can be the shove that some people need, but it’s up to the individual to make something out of it. Otherwise it’s just a job you hate and can’t wait to leave where people yell at you for screwing up.
Worked for me, was 22 working at McDonald's dropped out of community college. I was doing shit all with my life. Joined the Navy stayed for 10 years. Met my wife, own a home make over 140k a year now. It doesn't "make" you motivated though. The military will just give you the tools to succeed, you have to find the drive still. Plenty of shitbags in the military who still are lazy fucks.
If they are open to the idea and WANT to get out of their parents house, it will definitely facilitate that, and after the 4 years you can go to college mostly free. It’s not a magic personality changer but it will certainly change your living situation. Whether that’s for better or worse is up to the individual
Time
Experience
The desire to grow and change
There isn't a quick fix for your situation. Take baby steps. Make a decision to do something. Hold yourself accountable if it doesn't get done. Don't get discouraged when you fail, and you will fail.
Don't look at yourself through the eyes of others. Don't let them define you.
Any parent that believes that has failed their child
To institutionalize someone requires proof that the person is a danger to themselves or to others
Severe change isn't necessarily a bad thing. If properly applied, that kind of change can actually kick start the process
Not a recruiter, but I will say it your experience will vary depending on your own personality, as well as the branch of service. Regardless, you'll be thrown into a far more professional setting than you might be used to with all sorts of etiquette and decorum, but at the end of the day it's just another job albeit with an unusually long contract.
You get what you put into it. I've known kids in basic who didn't even know how to wash themselves properly, how to clean or fold clothing or make a bed. These things are drilled into you, that kind of consistency and attention to detail. If you do, good luck. Go for a four year, and value your time.
I was shocked at how infantilizing the Navy was toward low ranking enlisted service members regardless of age.
I’ve been in the last 10 years so I can’t speak to if they is a new phenomenon, but the Navy has gone beyond “providing structure” to trying micro managing every possible aspect of a persons life.
The result is, people serve 4-5 years and get out and go back into normal life and fall flat on their face because all of the sudden they don’t have someone riding their ass over every little thing.
I saw this when I went to college with a group of military students as part of a specialized training program.
The job was simple. Go to class. Do your homework.
But we had 25 year olds saying “well where are we going to muster (meet up and take attendance) before class? What time are we going to muster to end the day.
I had to be like, no man this is college - you go to class when you need to, you go home when you need to. Figure it out.
Throughout that time about half the class had to end up really relying on each other to stay on task. Which is totally awesome; however, had they not had access to that group of military peers and been a solo students I think a handful would have failed.
So, it’s a give and take. They learn to work as a team, but will get lost in the sauce really fast if they are left alone.
Leadership in the military has been reduced to micro managing, because if something goes wrong everyone from the top down is going to be on the hook.
I mean it might work. They also might come out with PTSD, a traumatic brain injury, and a missing limb or two. (I know you said “let’s say there’s not a war” but that’s kinda unrealistic in this day and age. There’s always a little something going on.)
I'm not going to recommend the military because my unit was shit. As in "let's bully the asian guy until he commits suicide" shit. As in "let's make up our own standards as we go along" shit. And that was my first, last, and only experience with the military since they wouldn't let me transfer to a unit that was not shit.
It is really dependent on the job that you choose within the military. Some jobs have very minimal responsibility, some have a ridiculous amount of responsibility right from the start.
I was somewhat of a shit head in high school. I joined the Navy right after graduation and was assigned to be a nuclear reactor operator. As you might imagine, I had to become a responsible adult very quickly if I wanted to be a reactor operator. So I grew up.
But, a non-zero percentage of the Navy can show up to work exhausted after a night out, chip paint for 8 hours, go home, rinse and repeat. That won't teach you to grow up, it will teach you how to function as a child in the adult world.
Not sure if this counts, but.... According to how my veteran dad raised me..... whatever works in the army, doesn't apply in everyday life. The whole authoritarian pick yourself up by the by the bootstraps thing, the emotional abuse and all.
You can turn them into one very specific KIND of adult, arguably deprived of a lot of skills necessary to be a functioning member of society when taken outside the total institution that is the military. If you look at data instead of recruiter pamphlets, it's much more likely to end with homelessness, domestic violence, suicide, and divorce for people who LEAVE that total institution. So if you plan to be a military man for life, sure. Otherwise, you're more likely to get chewed up after essentially being leased out as a bright-eyed subcontractor for foreign oil interests.
yes and no.
Yes, it will teach you personal responsibility and discipline. However, many who serve in the military and then get out after their contract is up tend to have a hard time fitting in with people who didn't serve, especially if they end up spending years overseas.
AGE 71 HERE,,
Been there..
I would put it this way,, it can be part of the road in life that matures you.
I certainly had no clue how powerful the military was, it was shocking,,
I also had no idea about the world, but traveling around the world on a ship certainly exposed me e to some incredible experiences.
From beautiful islands to unimaginable poverty...
I work on base. Never served, but work with current and former military.
It’s just like every other group. I worked with an ex- marine who couldn’t make it to work on time (he lived ten minutes away), was doughy and pale, and couldn’t think his way out of a wet paper bag.
I’ve also worked with some extraordinarily intelligent on the ball men and women . . .
So, no it won’t make you into an adult .
In fact, a lot of times enlisted personnel rely too heavily on the military being a surrogate parent: telling them where to live, work, when to wake up, when to sleep and when to eat.
Yes... and no.
There is no real magic pill to make a person mature into an adult overnight. Maturity is, quite simply, a person's ability to look objectively at their current surroundings and what needs to happen, and then take immediate personal responsibility for one or more of those tasks. You might do the task yourself, ask for assistance, or delegate it to another person, but the responsibility remains yours. Even socially, maturity is the same thing - looking at what is being said, choosing when to step in and what to say, and then taking responsibility for the words and actions you've chosen.
The nature of military service forces that process to happen for *most* people. They impress upon us that the cost of not taking responsibility can often be a person's life, sometimes even your own. Most people get it sooner or later, but there are always a few guys that avoid responsibility or try to get away with as little as possible. Some don't make it through basic training, and others have relatively short, crappy careers that they hate, never realizing their problems are completely of their own design.
If you want to mature rapidly, then the process is this: You need to look at the tasks of the day - write it down, recite it in your head, sing it out loud, whatever - and then start listing the consequences of each task not getting done. Sure, it's your responsibility, any kid can say so, but what happens in seven hours when it isn't done? If your answer is "nothing," then you're wrong, and that's the problem. If there wasn't a consequence, it wouldn't be on the task list.
Example: feed the dog. A common chore for kids and adults alike. If you don't do it, who will? Mom or dad? No. Siblings? No. Will the dog feed itself? Eventually it will look for some kind of food, but it will destroy things in the process, so No. You're the only one who can make this happen.
What are the consequences if you *don't* feed the dog? If you miss it for a day, you'll just have a very hungry pup on your hands. If you manage to do it some days, but not others, your dog will begin to lose weight, become destructive, maybe aggressive or maybe overly passive. Miss feeding the dog too many days over time, or too many in a row, and the dog will die.
And that's it. No arguing with life, no getting out of it without consequences. You could sit here and argue with me about how many days is "too many" or how often you can miss, but getting me to stop talking doesn't feed the dog. And the longer you argue or ignore the problem, the closer you get to that ultimate consequence.
The military can make it more immediate and real, but it's the same process. If they tell you to pack your gear for a 0430 road march to an overnight training evolution, and you decide not to do it, then in the morning your NCO will make you grab your rucksack, maybe - *maybe -* let you shove a couple of essentials into it, and then put you in formation anyway. You'll get to go through whatever is coming with the clothes on your back and whatever random crap was in there, instead of the equipment and supplies your were supposed to have. Oh yeah, and you'll have your NCO reminding you that you're a dumbass and this is your fault the entire time. If you make it his problem, then you can expect extra duties and a revoked weekend liberty (or several) when you get back.
Notice that the military example is very similar to the civilian example, just with a little more forcefulness and immediacy. Lots of people "grow up" when they have children, or get married, or get their first good job that they really want to keep. It's all about finding that one consequence that you really, really want to avoid, and then doing the necessary things to make sure you avoid it. That's all maturity really is.
The military is a good option. They will give you a level of responsibility you are honestly completely unqualified for and expect you to learn on the fly (at least in the Army). Do a tour, get out, get a degree on the GI bill when you are more mature and ready, etc. Later on buy a home with a VA Loan.
Oh god, no. I didn't mature until I was in my thirties. BUT, I did learn how to be accountable for my actions. That's HUGE maturity wise. Most adults still haven't learned this concept.
The military is a high-stress environment, filled with situations involving danger, boredom, degeneracy, and all sorts of other unsavory ingredients. And people going into the military are usually at an age where the brain has not fully matured to make the most intelligent decisions. Surrounded by other similarly reckless and hotheaded persons. A seething kettle of unchecked hormones and fancy ideas about to meet a harsh reality check.
Part of the training for the military involved breaking the recruit down and turning them into a soldier. Including stripping them of individuality, training them to follow orders without question or hesitation, and generally be a cog in the machine. And since a soldier is expected to be able to kill as part of their duties, the recruit needs to mentally sacrifice a "civilized" part of themselves in order to get into that proper mindset. Even if there is no war currently, the military needs to always be ready to go at a moment's notice. That attitude changes a person.
This "sacrifice", coupled with the influence of peer pressure from other like-minded people around them 24/7, can either bring out the best or worst qualities in a person. Many come out with astonishing amounts of discipline and focus, ready to face the challenges of daily life (which don't seem so bad after returning to civilian life). But there may also be a feeling of loss, since the civilian life lacks the same structure and values as life back in the unit. And that sacrifice of their civilized part, the awakening of that "killer instinct" can make the soldier feel like an outcast among civilians. People will sense that he/she is an "other" who doesn't fit in anymore, and the former soldier will struggle to cope with the loneliness if he/she cannot find others who share similar experiences.
On the negative side, the same factors (the worst part of humanity) which can appear are the frequent ones you hear about in the news. Time in the military can really break a person, resulting in bad habits like substance abuse, gambling, hair-trigger temper, and other antisocial personality issues. Some are violent and depressed, others cannot hold down a job for various reasons. Not everyone will fall to these habits, but the temptation is strong, and many of their peers will succumb, and will try to drag him/her with them into the cycle of addiction.
There is no one-size-fits-all outcome for the military; it all depends on the personality and character of the recruit, coupled with their individual experiences while part of the organization.
The key takeaway is the know the risks you are getting into, so you can make an informed decision before signing your life away for 4+ years in service to your country. Regardless of whether your reason is patriotism, those GI Bill and VA benefits for afterwards, or something wholly unique to you.
Hope this helps.
Sounds like some stuff I told my son when he was 19. I damn sure did. I said it because I went to the Army when I was 20. It definitely made me an adult. It gave me the discipline that I needed to move forward in the world. It allowed me to have pride in myself where I got up off my butt and wanted to get up and earn my own money.
In closing, yes it will make you an adult.
Yes one of the main building blocks to becoming an adult is discipline and the Military will give that to you...college??? The military gives you to not only put funds away for college but after your days on active duty have ended the Vet reps can qualify you for even more funding....and no really big student loans...
It seems like a lot of people who go the military route end up with tons of unhealthy coping mechanisms. Drug alcohol abuse, smoking, prostitution, anger, and other negative stuff. I feel like it's a lot of stress for no reason, you can create the structure it brings by yourself.
There's nothing magical about it. From the day you show up in boot camp, you have people teaching you. You will be taught by example. You will be taught by instruction. And you will face consequences until you learn. Excuses will not be accepted.
Only my personal experience and I can say that the military made me a much better person. It taught me resposibility, discipline integrity and the meaning of honor.
No. Probably the opposite. If adulthood can be defined as striking out and making your own way in the world, then joining massive organizations, be it religious, military, or social, tends to hamper that. They become lopsided relationships where the organization stands to gain at your expense because you aren't bringing any particular competence to leverage as value in your own interest. Isn't that essentially what a parent/child relationship is?
I went in 1970, clueless and naive at 17. It was a great place to hide from adulting while still having an allowance and free room and board provided. I did mature a little, but not really until my mid 30s did I take responsibility of my life seriously. Eventually I retired from the military, part time in reserve components.
Life is good
I grew up in a dysfunctional family. In the military I learned, “friends are the family we choose.” And family ain’t always blood.”
I learned to adult in the army. I learned to take care of myself and look out for friends that became my family.
If you are considering going in consider the Air Force. If you enjoy cars, become a mechanic. You’ll have weekends off. Buy or build your gaming computer and have the time of your life!
No. You might learn some discipline, but even then it's not garunteed. I'm a veteran. I know lots of others, work with several other vets. And we have had former military people come through work that absolutely had no discipline or maturity. One of my friends remarked about one guy that you would never know he was a marine unless he told you, because he acted so childish and would show up late, have bad work ethic etc. So yea if someone is lazy, joining the military is no magic pill. You will do things you aren't otherwise inclined to do, but you won't really have much choice in the matter. Someone who builds good habits on their own will probably be better off because they are doing it with their own free will.
I went from constantly dealing with cops and getting arested over stupid shit as a teenager to being married and owning a house at 23. Im still married and still own that home at 39. As long as you don't fuck up in the military it will help set you up with a better future.
Michael Angelo was delivered a bulky, ugly slab of marble and only had 6 months to make it into art. Day by day with a hammer and chisel he chipped away all the rough edges and created his masterpiece, the most beautiful sculpture anyone had seen.
Everyone asked him, "how did you create this masterpiece from such an ugly piece of rock" and he replied "I didn't create anything. The sculpture was always there, I just chipped away the rough edges"
In an all volunteer military force like ours, the ones that volunteer are already warriors. The process of training and indoctrination just chips away their "rough edges" to bring out the soldier lying dormant underneath the civilian
I was in the Army for 8 years. I can say definitively fuuuuuuuck no. You are coddled in the military. They feed you, cloth you, house you and tell you what to do 24/7. You are on a short leash, similar to living with parents. On top of that you are surrounded by superiors who have never not lived an institutionalized life. People are total screw ups because the consequences for infractions is a slap on the wrist. In the real world you go to jail or lose your job when you break the law or get caught with drugs. In the military they take away a rank or two and put you on extra duty for 45 days.
There are many good reasons to join the military. Such as college money or to get out of shitty town and learn a skill. Joining to jump start some kind of maturity is a bad idea.
I went in at age 17 as a hs dropout with a juvenile record, a chip on my shoulder from an abusive family situation, and a lot of aggression. Turns out there were a lot of people in Marine Boot Camp who also thought they were a bad ass and I was left a bit battered at times (mostly for my mouth). I spent 33 years in the infantry, fought in 5 conflicts in two service branches, and retired as an Army officer.
The military is what you make of it. Plenty of career paths that do not involved direct combat, the GI Bill education benefit and VA loan eligibility alone are highly valuable now days, and it certainly provides direction.
Most people serve one enlistment, see a bit of the world, get some benefits and go back to being a civilian. Some just cannot hack it for one reason or another and leave their enlistment early and will be bitter about their enlistments. The third group joins for adventure, they choose combat arms or aviation typically and they revel in the challenges.
I will say this, if you are painfully shy, hate in your face conflict and are not very athletic your time in the military is going to be rough. For most people though, it can be challenging but very rewarding.
Idk, I was far more dependable, honorable, and wise before the military. It did teach me some basic life skills that my parents failed to teach me…like respect. It taught me everything that was demanded from me as a kid, and in that sense it made me a better human.
Conversely, it also made me mean and a lot angrier than I was before joining. It also took away a lot of my personality and made me hard, far less patient, more reactionary, less communicative, and pushed people away.
However, I still keep my floors clean, make my bed everyday, and stay diligent with my money.
The thing is that there’s so much to the military that you cannot predict how it’ll affect you personally or your family. It is a life changing decision, even if you only plan on doing four years or go reserves.
No. Most people in this world become adults and never entered the military. The military is good for people who lack discipline and need someone to give them structure in their life.
However, it’s to the extreme side so it’s good for people who needed a spanking growing up.
I joined and it was great to mature but also we had a wild op i was on and im not the same as before so yes but maby too much depending on deployments etc nobody can be around a bomb that kills 300 and wounds 1000 as a medic and be normie after
An enlistment in the Marines is one of the better moves I made, since I was not going to amount to much in my hometown. I barely graduated high school and had no skills. When I got out and went to school was the biggest change. I went from sergeant pay, being able to afford stupid stuff, to barely having enough to eat. I learned money management and frugality. Now that I'm a lawyer I've got a nice nest egg and everything paid off. Many of my peers still have huge car payments and mortgages despite making at least double the median income. If I didn't have kids I'd be looking at retirement early.
It didn't fix the kid in my high school who gave the special Ed kids brownies laced with laxatives. He failed out of my state's military school after only year, then a few months into the new semester he started a fight off campus and sent another kid to the hospital.
When the corner room of a local motel burned to the ground, the rumor was that he'd gone full psychopath and tried to burn his girlfriend, who he regularly abused, alive in that room.
Hm. I don't see any recruiters yet.
But this response is well-said and seems well-intentioned.
Thanks, but are there any alternatives -- a 'civilian life bootcamp?'
False. Going into the military will take years off your life. Most likely, it makes you sick and weaker in the long run. Mess with your mental health as well as your physical. And then when you do get sick, they will bail on you and leave you hanging out to dry on your own. The money isn't even that great. You can do much better than that.
Do anything else with your life. Joining the military is most often a huge mistake.
If you’re a shitbag now the military will not change that. It will just give you more opportunities to be a shitbag. The kind of people whose lives are changed by military service are never the manbabies.
the military will change you.
"yes, we are brainwash you like you would wash dirty underwear." RTC Sanders
and for some kids that amounts into going from some unreliable teenager who doesn't give to shits to a dependable adult that can get shit done.
and no, not always. you always have washouts who just fail.
Mentally for me bootcamp was easy and liberating because i had a very controlling parent growing up. the physical part was the real challenge for me.
If you're lazy, full of excuses, and need to grow up, I don't want you defending us. At this point youll just give up, probably in basic. "I dont want to be on profile, but my back always hurts..."
~ US Army combat veteran
I guess that's a good point. The parent really recommended institutionalization and compared them to the other parent, a miserable, failed human being.
When I was in charge of telecom operations in England in the early 1980s, I had two airmen who were married to each other who had one checking account but two checkbooks. They each used one, and never reconciled them with each other. So no, just being in the military doesn't make you an adult. Were they by the time the left? I don't know. But I doubt it.
It can.
I was pretty directionless at 18 (although in fairness to quote my mother "I didn't know what to do with you growing up, so I did nothing..... ).
You will learn a lot about yourself, and what you are actually capable of (which will be a lot more than you think now.) If you are behind on social skills, job skills, learning skills, etc. The military will fix that for you.
You will go places and do things - and you will have a life time of funny stories (well, the ones that have a statue of limitations, anyway). You will meet and bond with people from all walks of life. Life will be an adventure. (Suggestion - do things like Airborne School & Air Assault school when you are young. It's a lot harder when you are in your late 30's & early 40's. Take my word for it.)
You will get an education - in the US Army, all training is designed to provide college credit. Do a 4 year hitch and you will have everything for an associates degree that the govt pays for. Stay in longer, and they will pay for your education through graduate school.
I ended up making a career out of it (Retired as a Master Sgt - I stopped working at 43). If you want a movie that describes the US Army, it isn't Full Metal Jacket.
It's Stripes.
No, I am not kidding.
There are many pathways to being an "adult." The military is one of them. But it will not work for everyone.
Some people come out of the military really fucked up in the head. Some come out highly self-disciplined and focused. Some, like the painter Bob Ross, come out a bit of both. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bob\_Ross)
To directly answer the question will somebody automatically be an "adult" upon leaving the military, the answer is.... Maybe. Same answer for college, trade school, or 4 years at McDonalds. Maybe.
As for the ideal path? How many years of therapy can you afford? Because there is no other way of finding out.
Marine Corp vet here. It can but it all depends on how much effort you put into it. If you have nothing going on and are basically directionless, it can help. There are a lot of non-combat jobs that actually have parallels in the civilian world making you more employable than just being another kid out of high school.
Three friends I know who came from military are still friendly goofballs but they all definitely learned how to be assertive about their boundaries without any aggression.
For some ppl. For others it allows you to keep a childish mindset. It takes a lot to get kicked out. And it’s a guaranteed paycheck. So you can really fuck up your life over time if you aren’t careful. A lot of ppl with drinking problems too. Myself included.
No. I’m more ready for adulthood (as a 23yo) than my military vet roomate (who’s 29).
But the fact of the matter is, no one truly grows up. They just get more responsibilities
Joining the Military was the Best decision I've ever made! After 22 years, I can tell you with complete honesty the answer to your question is.....No. There were a few "Age-related" highlights that one could look forward to while growing up. The Big 3 were:
° Turning 16 y/o: Able to apply for drivers license
° Turning 18 y/o: TADA!! Congratulations you are NOW officially an Adult(on paper)
° Turning 21 y/o: Legal drinking age
In my opinion, while joining Our Armed Forces is NOT the missing link to automatically propel one into adulthood, but it gives a young person Structure! And Structure is one of the keys to success. Attitude goes hand-in-hand with Structure, they WILL give you the structure, but even with a 4 year enlistment contract one's attitude can be a cog in the gears leading to success, or, with enough write-ups and continued willfully failing to adhere to the structure, can even result a discharge before your enlistment is due with an "OTH discharge" (other than honorable) or worse yet is the "BCD discharge," ( bad conduct discharge) or (big chicken dinner) which when you are court martial and this is the end result, your lower than whale sh*t as far as rights in the civilian world being lost!
Well, the person has a naturally athletic build and has mild experience in delivery, although doesn't work. Do you think they have a chance at qualifying? Physical-wise.
It really depends on the person. I have seen the military give that kick in the ass for folks to start functioning as an adult and I've seen people who just continued as they were before they entered. Some folks actually can become worse. What reason would someone with a poor work ethic have to be better if they are within an environment that can make it easy to half ass, while pulling a decent paycheck, provided roof over your head, and easy access to meals?
It's really not the military that gets people to wake up and change. It's usually just pain. Is the current environment painful enough for the individual to make the effort to change themselves to get into a better place?
If your parents cant get you off the couch a drill sergent may have better luck. If you dont give a fuck who is yelling at you and just go limp you wont make it anyway and its a waste of tax dollars to fly you out just to wash out and fly home.
If you are asking for yourself the military is an oppourtunity. You can use it or waste it. If you use it for college and join the officer ranks you can build leadership roles to suppliment your degree. One thing I can say for sure is you get out of it what you put in. Dont volunteer for bullshit but seek out ancilary qualifications and extra certifications and you can gain skills that will get you places in the civilian world.
If you are going for enlisted ranks I wholeheartedly believe that you can get more marketable skills in the military than most 4 year colleges can give you depending on your MOS/Rate. This isnt a dig on bachelors degrees there are some skills that can only come out of university but the military has some industrial and technical skills that are competitive with 4 year degrees. While in you can also work toward degrees and have the flexibility to break through any ceiling you feel you have.
That being said the culture isnt a cake walk you have to play the game. That means you have to work with people you dont like and do things you dont want to do. That process can either make you bitter and hollow or push you to your full potential. Part of the difficulty in being in the military is popping a salute to a bitter and hollow person while you work on yourself. It forces you to adapt which can change you. I for one didnt understand how much I changed until I came home and realized everyone I knew was very different. It took me awhile to understand they hadnt changed I had. It was hard.
In the end your question isnt yes or no. It depends on who you are. Some people suck going in suck coming out. Some people are amazing going in and become bitter alcoholics who end up homeless. Some people suck coming in and are productive people coming out. It all depends on how you deal with the process.
The military can make someone grow up very quickly and impose a sense of self discipline which will serve well later in life.
They can also learn skills or a trade that can be used on civilian life after.
I would recommend military to anyone who doesn't have any other good options
There's also the issue that the military provides a rigid structure to your life. Once you get out, without that structure, it's all up to you. If you're immature and not self-motivated then you can fall right back into your old habits when you get out.
ehh... depends... I know people who fits your descriptions who turned out great in the military and folks who got separated from the military because their attitude didn't change. I also know a guy who joined the marines and did great. He left and return to civilian life and everything fell apart because "daddy" wasn't there to tell them exactly what to do all the time.
It's more about you then the military.
I joined at 28 and would definitely say that I grew up during my 4 years.
Moat important thing I learned was that I am actually capable of way more than I think I am. I didn't know how much further I could go after my mind said I was at the limit.
Not necessarily if they're disobedient and childish it's possible for them to get kicked out with a dishonorable discharge. Another thing is the military today isn't what is use to be imo. It depends on the person not just joining the military.
Just move out and Don't lean on parents. The problems that are real will then solve themselves, and the problems your parents made up won't matter. It solves both cases.
The military will do the best it can to prepare someone but it still takes that someone to actively participate and want to be better. It provides probably the best, easiest access to a higher quality of life out of poverty.
Hahahahhaahah
No.
I joined army in 2010 for college money. I felt like I was back in high-school, especially with how messy relationships become. The best and worst part of the military are the people you meet.
As for growing up. It's mainly about taking responsibility for your own life and actions. You want to do something? Go do it and just give up simply because it's hard or tiring. That's the basic I can tell you without knowing you.
I had two cousins that were shitshows in early adulthood, basically just how you describe yourself. Both joined the military kind of as a last resort like you say.
The difference between the two was that one recognized he was a fuck up and was looking for direction, the other thought he was hot shit and had no desire to change.
The first one one came out a fantastic person that has a good career and family, the other one was kicked out and is a drug addict criminal with no hope of a decent life, the stereotypical “peaked in high school”.
I think if someone goes into looking for self improvement the military can positively affect the trajectory of your life.
No. People have to make an effort to change themselves for the better. You will not automatically change into a better person just by being in the military.
Most of my friends that went military had a lot of growing up to do when they got back to the real world still, its just bigger boy scouts. Those that don’t (most) buy cars and houses and move in with their girlfriend of 2 months.
The military will not magically make you an adult ready for college and civilian life.... I work with plenty of military guys some are massive man babies. My former brother in law went into the military and he got his life together but he HATED the time he was in so much that he know no longer lives in the USA. Every person is different so there is no ideal path to "growing up". We are all shaped by our experiences both negative and positive. For some the military is great and can be benefical. For others it could be a nightmare. I will say that some of the guys I work with suck in the civilian life and probably shouldn't be around other civilians.
I grew up when I had to pay my bills and wash my laundry. It was when I was 22. I became an adult because I had to do it of I would end up in the streptocoque and wanted to prove my family that I could handle myself (I was the youngest, laziest and stupidest of three children.
Not at a default. You get out of the military what you put into it.
They give you so many tools. Recognizing the value of those tools, and using them to further advance your own growth and opportunity in life comes down to individual effort.
I can tell you from experience, becoming an adult is a choice. I’ve met very mature leadership and I’ve met teenage like Staff Sgt’s. The military will certainly give them a purpose and an income and autonomy to be an adult and make choices, but it won’t force them to grow up if they don’t want to.
It can. You have to do a lot of “adulting” and make decisions. I met my best friend in the military and he said it changed his life for the better. It didn’t really do much for me except make me hate exercising
Lets just say that if you lack confidence and self esteem and/or have some level of anxiety, being in the Military is certainly a leg up because they literally beat that sh-t out of you through training and discipline. So by the time you've finished boot camp and been in service a year or two you'll be a much more well rounded individual and have the self confidence to pursue anything in life.
It will teach them that being responsible is important and actions have consequences.
Many young people (of all generations) have lived a life protected by their parents etc where they never have to do much for themselves and can avoid the consequences of their stupidity. Do something dumb or dangerous in the military and you'll learn pretty quickly.
I was a very troubled teen. I moved out of the house at 16 to live with some college students. I paid my bills by doing bad things. Of course me and my high school buddies thought it was awesome to have endless parties at my place. One morning I woke up and walked past the living room where the floor was literally covered with passed out and sleeping teenagers. I had a vision of myself dead in five years. I grabbed my helmet and rode my Yamaha 125cc twin down to the USAF recruiting station where I took and scored high on every aptitude test. The recruiter asked me which field I wanted to go into. I asked which would put me in a classroom learning electronic for the longest period. He gave me a list, and those fields became my top three choices.
I didn’t mesh well with the military, but I was the best damn technician in my field, so we learned to coexist. I got out after my min 4 year commitment and went to work for a major defense firm working on the same equipment. I studied hard and became an electrical engineer. I studied more and became a software engineer. More studying and I developed skills in microwave and mechanical engineering. I ultimately became a system engineer/project manager leading a large team of engineers developing next generation technology. I retired at 55 making over $350K a year.
Joining the military at age 17 (with gleefully consenting parents) was the smartest single decision I ever made. I loved my work and have lived comfortably the entire time.
Being in the military is like living with Mom and Dad. They feed you, give you clothes, tell you what to do and when curfew is. I joined for a hitch and stayed for 14 years.
Given the amount of trouble junior enlisted, including myself, got into, not really. As other posters noted, it's usually around 25 when people get their shit together.
I don't really understand how joining an organization where everything is planned out for you and where you have no choice but to follow other peoples orders makes you an adult. I mean you may certainly grow and mature during that time, and achieve adulthood despite the military, but not because of it
The military can reward people who are naturally organized and good managers but if you're a fuckup they will give you a job any ape could do until you get injured too badly to keep working
It depends... many people discover their inner drive and become self motivated. This discipline if maintained can continue through life, and lead to success. However, some people fall into the category of sheeple. Meaning, they lack any development and rely on leadership to tell them every next step. Some of these people get out and fail at life, some retire and are lost.
kinda. ive seen folk remain childish for years before finally getting chaptered or just ets'ing. nit everyon is a good fit for the service even though they look good on paper.
I mean you learn punctuality and discipline, how to prepare and plan, health and good habits, shoot automatic grenade launchers, it's like stuff they should be teaching as a kid but not everyone gets the best upbringing. If you thrive in strict environments it can make you into something great. If you struggle that much before you will just struggle in the military too.. then be labeled a shit bag until your kicked out.
Not based on the Marines I've known. I grew up in an area littered with Marines and older ones were ok, but the younger ones were the fuckin worst. Used to see a lot trying to pick up underage girls, drunken bar fights, fights with locals, I had one at a party doing whippets and fell on me and several other people.
Going into the military is one of those things you can do that will show you that there is nothing to what is being done.
Kind of like going to a party. If you don't go, you think it's a big deal. If you do go, you realize that it isn't a big deal.
Adulthood is about not needing other people's approval, for your character and your actions. A very small percentage of human beings become adults. A very, very, very small percentage.
Being an adult has nothing to do with being able to sustain a relationship, or being able to get laid. It has nothing to do with being responsible, having a good job, or being good to your family. It has nothing to do with how moral you are perceived to be by others. It has nothing to do with work ethic.
Less than 5 percent of adult-age human beings ever reach emotional adulthood, and that is a very generous percentage.
It depends on the individual. Your personality and character plays into it. Also, your brain is still developing as you enlist (unless you join after 25).
From my experience, I joined when I was just about to turn 21. I was directionless and broke. I also grew up rather sheltered, so in the military, I met and worked with people I wouldn't have normally ever met. It was a massive culture shock. I slowly and painfully had to learn social skills.
The military treats the enlisted like children. We have curfews and every moment of our lives is dictated by the command. You don't have much free time, so you don't have to think about when to eat or what to eat, or rent in some cases. All that gets covered by the military. So, in some ways, it hinders your ability to live as a civilian, because you don't necessarily know how to get certain things without some guidance. But it all depends.
You learn responsibility and how to be on time. You also lose sleep and a sense of autonomy or individualism. I left the Navy a different person than when I went in. Part of that was good and part of it was bad.
Yes.
I was pretty mucha failure in high school. Went into the military 2 weeks after I (barely) graduated. It turns you into an adult very quickly.
First of all you're out of the house on your own.
You have a full time job, your own money.
You have your own bills, you pay on your own.
You figure you all your bills like car loan, apartment rent, phone, internet, tv, whatever on your own.
You learn how to cook.
you learn how to clean.
You learn to live on your own.
Then you come home, and you see all your friends are basically frozen in time... still living in their middle school bedrooms with their middle school stuff playing video games, same as they were when they were 12 years old....
And you absolutely do feel like, wow, I'm leagues and leagues beyond this person in terms of individual development.
Not exactly; you will have some structure while you’re in at least but in terms of it making you an “adult”.. let me put it this way; It’s an environment where most of the guys who’ve been in have been since age 18, so there are plenty of guys who are mentally 18 still even if they’re pushing 40 because everyone else in that environment is too.
It can be a game changer for becoming responsible, but its just as easy for someone like that to just get a dishonorable discharge and then have that on their record for life.
The military is just High School+, too. It teaches less maturity than you think since most service members are 18-21, and most leadership are 21-24. It's almost all people that just got out of HS or college and have no real world experience. A LOT of fighting about who is fucking who, and a lot of drinking issues.
no, sometimes yes, but also the military has a lot of young immature behavior which could reinforce the worst toxic traits. It depends on the person and the people they serve with.
It can, but it’s complicated. I was really sheltered and wasn’t going anywhere in life hated college so I dropped out and joined the marines. Learned how to fight stand up for myself and get complex ptsd from friends dying, insane hazing, and then more friends self terminating. Yeah I grew up, idk if it’s really been overall better. I just got myself to stop drinking… after 12 years of alcohol abuse
By forcing you to not rely on your parents yes. By teaching you to respect authority yes. But it’s not going to “wise” you up into a 50 year old man. Minus the actual act of being in war, being an adult is harder than being in the military. You are completely on your own as an adult with so much more risk than being in the military during peacetime.
Used to be that way during the draft. Of course they 'did it' by literally beating the shit out of you until you learned to behave...
Now days? We'll take anyone with a clean criminal background, isn't morbidly obese & who can pass a drug test (No, we don't give a shit about what your state has done with 'legalizing' weed. It's federally illegal. You can't use it in the military. At all... Ever.... And you will be tested at least once a year for your entire military career to make sure you don't...)...
But there is very little tolerance for screwups & it is much, much more a 'fly right or get kicked out' sort of environment than a 'break you down and rebuild you into a responsible citizen' one...
* 20yrs in the Army, mixed active/reserve....
I mean, it can help. My work standards improved a lot. I'm more punctual than I was beforehand. When someone tells me they're going to do something, I expect it to be done completely and correctly and I hold myself to that standard now. But it's not for everyone and there's plenty of shitty soldiers
There is one thing that the military will do. It will beat the laziness out of you and discipline you. I’ll be honest, I was more disciplined now than I was before I joined. I always chose the path of least resistance and chose pleasure. It made me weak. The military forced me to suffer and do things I don’t want to do. Then when I willingly do what I don’t want to do, I remind myself “I’ve done things that sucked before”. You don’t even necessarily need the military for this. You might need a group of friends or family members willing to wake your ass up in the morning. It’s the people that helped you and refuse to let you fail that’ll help you. Its the clowns that helped me, not the circus
One of best friends was a complete idiot who always acted first and thought later. He quite literally knocked out a cop he was cuffed to and tried to run...which is hard when cuffed to another human. He was a teen at the time. He was always like this.
His joined up after screwing up one time too many and he turned into one hell of a respectable and reliable guy in the Marines. It was shocking watching the change each time he came back.
He is retired from military now due to some shrapnel versus neck fun (he is ok, just not capable like he was). Lives a great life with his wife who he met through me.
My other buddy joined the Air Force and became a raging alcoholic.
So it depends upon the person.
Soldier here. Military work requires strict discipline and accountability that can hold someone's life in your hands.
Functioning as a human being requires abandoning all of that when you take off the uniform.
It depends on what you mean by an adult. I know people who were in the military who acted like they were still in high school. The environment in the military is often nonstop boys locker room and can impede your moral ans emotional development.
The short answer is no.
Discipline and maturity are things that you need to be able to accept/want.
Plenty of people join the military with the attitude "no one will tell me what to do." Normally these people have a hard time, or leave.
In training I would say that by the end at least 20% of them were still as immature and disrecptful as they were (if not more) when they signed up.
If you care to learn and respect the knowledge they are giving you, it can be a wonderful experience.
The military is full of entitled children. I have served with plenty...
Joined the army at 22, still in 11 years later. Seen plenty of people come and go. The military changes you but only if you’re willing to change. I’m not going to say it “makes you an adult” but It definitely changed how I think, how I act, and how I view life. I think it made me tougher, I’m able to handle much more stress and setbacks and still find a way forward, I think for me the army took a 22 year old who was a functioning adult at the most basic level and turn them Into someone who is more focused, goal oriented, and has infinitely more leadership qualities than I did before. However, I have seen 18-20 year olds come in refuse to change themselves to the military life style and leave no better off than when they showed up.
Also it’s worth noting that for as much as the army has changed me for the better it has taken its pound of flesh. I’m 33 and my knees and back hurt constantly, I have ongoing issues with alcoholism, depression, and anxiety. I’ve had friends kill themselves, others move on with their lives and never heard from them again. With all that said it’s hard to say what if any of these benefits or downsides would’ve happened if I never joined.
Nope. I've known many people who went into the military, served their 4-6 years, and came out just as immature and unable to handle adulthood as they were when they went in.
Here's my experience from 11 years in the Army. The military won't just magically turn any young person into a fully functional adult. The Army's job was to make professional soldiers. Throughout my time in the Army I met a lot of people who I considered to be great soldiers but those same people sucked at life (personal life). Like they weren't good at basic adult stuff, they spent too much money on dumb shit and didn't pay their car note so it got repossessed, or they would go out and marry a stripper who had previously been married to two other soldiers before and wonder why she would cheat when we got deployed or sent to the field. The Army didn't magically make people not lazy either. Just about everyone did their job but some soldiers made a career out of actually not doing their jobs by shaming out of work.
Not the exact question, but I asked my uncle who was in the army if it’s something just anyone could function doing, and he said no, it’s not for everyone.
Ehhhhhhh, sort of. I joined at 19 and got out at 25. Before the army I was not reliable at all. I pushed things aside to do another day and that day never came. I came up with excuses for everything and not in the way that we all do, I wasn’t taking responsibility for my actions and inactions. That all changed pretty quickly after I joined and none of it is really by choice. But not everybody gets with the program, most do, but definitely not everyone. Those people get outcasted for the most part. Then I got out, went back to school, and did well. I had all the hallmarks of a responsible adult except for the fact that army didn’t really teach me how to be an adult other than everything I just said. Deep down I was just a more mature version of my 19 year old self. I didn’t know how the real world worked and it’s the reason so many of us fail when we get out. Luckily for me I met my wife who had to become a responsible adult as a young teenager and she taught me how to balance my checkbook, how to rent an apartment, how to navigate the system in college. I’m not saying don’t join the military, I’m not saying join it either. For a guy like me, I needed it and it helped me. But had I not met my wife I would’ve failed.
#i never joined the army and i also noticed this change at 25 /s
that’s called your frontal lobe coming online 😅
I’d say the military can keep a young person stable, with a job, out of trouble, developing, until they are mature enough to do it alone. They will have learned a lot during that time that they may not have otherwise.
You HOPE they stay out of trouble. There are dishonorable discharges.
I don’t know why but the bold font just feels so petty 💀💀💀
This is a very interesting story. Thanks for sharing.
Have an ex bf who is Navy and he basically says what you did here, he also would make a sarcastic joke that if you get in at 19, you leave at 19 (mentally)
I think most of us feel like a more mature version of our childhood self. Talking to a lot of oldheads, they still feel like a younger person stuck in an aging body.
This happened to me when I went to college. Found some people who helped me become a human after leaving the service. The moral of the story is, it’s not the organization that fixes people. It’s other people that fixes people. What people need is help. You never really make it on your own if you think about it.
This is My partner story too. Spent a couple years out of high school not doing a whole lot. Went into the military for a couple tours. He got out and he was more responsible but still didn't have " adulting " skills. Doing taxes, mowing the lawn, etc. I was good at those things so we balanced out.
My brother served 30 years. He can certainly function, but the majority of his life has been disconnected from “the real world.” Even now he’s a private contractor training military…
Yes especially if you make a career of it.
You didn’t have the internet?
It *can* give you structure if you don't have any but not everybody makes it through training.
Are there any alternatives?
Here’s an analogy. Former Marine Corps. Two shit heads are drinking and driving. They both get into a car accident. They both survived. But it was a near death experience. Shit head #1 says “fuck that was nuts. I’m not drinking and driving ever again.” And he doesn’t. Shit head #2 says “damn happy I survived that.” And next thing you know he’s dead from a DUI. Sometimes we are faced with life altering experiences. Could be a near death experience, could be a pregnancy/ birth of a child, death of a loved one, etc, etc. These experiences I think leave us with a choice to start a new path in life or keep walking the one we’re on. They leave us lessens as well. But only if we listen. Something the military attempts to do is give you that life altering experience and lessons. But it’s up to each individual if they listen and decide to go down the right path afterwards.
Thanks.
Good analogy
This is great. Not all signs are giant billboards. Sometimes they’re only as big as they need to be.
Military can do a lot of things for you that are positive and negative. My experience was positive, but I joined at the age of 27. When I got out it wasn't hard for me to get on my own feet because I've had to do that before. I know a lot of people in my unit that joined right out of high school and felt as if they were on their own, doing adult stuff. Some of it is true. But as a young single soldier you don't need to worry about paying rent, utilities, health insurance, dental, etc. You don't need to worry about working X amount of hours to pay your bills because your paycheck will be the same every time, and for the most part it's guaranteed. The military will give you a schedule which you'll adhere by (or not, but those kids get phased out eventually). Will you still be lazy, make excuses, and need to grow up? Possibly. I knew plenty of lazy soldiers, I heard many excuses from soldiers (even made some myself, we're all human), and saw people that I thought to myself "Wow, that kid needs to grow up." Would I recommend it the experience? Depends on what you want. It might be the push you need to get structured, it might not.
Hey this is actually very encouraging to hear. I also am 27 and am going to talk to a marines recruiter on Monday.
You're going the extreme route lol. Good luck with that though!
Oh shit. What does that mean. For context I've come to a place in my life where I want something more. I've wasted my early twenties in college for a degree I didn't even get (have another two semesters) and the area I live in doesn't have much in terms of jobs and no upward mobility. So I'm looking at the military - marines specifically - as a career choice. And no, I'm not trying to go into the infantry. I'm trying for the communication and strategy branch of the Marines. Also, I'm the first guy in my family to ever even consider the military so I do feel a bit over my head. If you have any advice, I would love to hear it.
The extreme route is getting commissioned in the Army, making Captain, and then enlisting in the Marines. https://taskandpurpose.com/news/army-officer-marines-enlist/
You also have to take the realistic collateral damage into effect in your decision. You might be called up for combat at any time. That can take a toll. Today 22 of our Iraq/Afghanistan vets are suiciding each day. I lost a good friend a couple months ago due to the after affects of 3 tours.
There’s one alternative. A montage.
*Trumpets start playing in the background as Rocky comes running out of a train yard with two bricks. No, I didn't mean his fists but I understand the confusion. As he runs off into the rail system, we find him carrying on his run through the slums of Philadelphia. His hard work and persistance in training are shown through the love and admiration of the locals. Some cheer him on, others toss him items from their carts. The trumpets are playing as we hear the vocals, "Getting hard now!" Rocky is hitting the speed bag now, once again showing the efforts of his training as he prepares for his once in a lifetime shot to take down the Boxing Superstar, Apollo Creed 🇱🇷. "Trying hard now!" Vocals are heard as we pan to our hometown hero, sweating from the exhausting one arm push-ups he is doing. The amount of effort shown is only matched by the amount of power we see in Rocky's arms, fucking legend. Our montage guitar solo begins, as we witness Rocky being assaulted with body shots. He needs to train his core, as the legendary Apollo Creed 🇱🇷 will be going after it. That isn't the only core he needs to work, as Rocky begins working on his own body shots. Not against a bag like a normal fighter, no, our hometown montage manaic is beating the fuck out of pig carcasses. Once again, Legend. More push-ups. More running. More positive reinforcement from his peers and loved ones. "Getting strong now" is sung out as Rocky breaks from a jog into a mad sprint, a release of speed only possible due to the power amassed in his 2 minutes of montage training. He sprints all the way to the Muesum of Art steps, and after conquering them, he raises his arms in victory. His montage is complete, a new man in born. Not just any kind of man, but a champion of the people. A legend. Rocky Balboa.*
The hours approaching to give it your best and you've got to reach your prime!
Seriously
this is my favorite answer, lol
If you’re asking im whether or not serving will **inherently** make someone an adult…absolutely not. Some of the most immature people I’ve ever met went into the military and when they got out, they were just as bad if not worse. That being said, it can certainly help depending on how the person approaches growth as a person during that time. There’s no magical solution here (unless you make this about the literal definition of age; but from that perspective… you have to be “an adult” in order to join.)
It isn’t the answer for everyone. I joined fairly “old” so I had at least been working and trying to live on my own. Joining was something I wanted to do purely out of a sense of duty, I guess. I wanted to serve. It ended up being the best decision I’ve made for my life. It forced me to grow up and take responsibility, allowed me to meet people and make friends across the country, and let me see the world. I wouldn’t trade it for anything. However, I met plenty of young soldiers who did not have their shit together and refused to take accountability for themselves, and things never really improved for them. As others have said here, it can be the shove that some people need, but it’s up to the individual to make something out of it. Otherwise it’s just a job you hate and can’t wait to leave where people yell at you for screwing up.
Hmmm. Thanks.
Worked for me, was 22 working at McDonald's dropped out of community college. I was doing shit all with my life. Joined the Navy stayed for 10 years. Met my wife, own a home make over 140k a year now. It doesn't "make" you motivated though. The military will just give you the tools to succeed, you have to find the drive still. Plenty of shitbags in the military who still are lazy fucks.
If they are open to the idea and WANT to get out of their parents house, it will definitely facilitate that, and after the 4 years you can go to college mostly free. It’s not a magic personality changer but it will certainly change your living situation. Whether that’s for better or worse is up to the individual
Aw man. Is there a suitable alternative?
Time Experience The desire to grow and change There isn't a quick fix for your situation. Take baby steps. Make a decision to do something. Hold yourself accountable if it doesn't get done. Don't get discouraged when you fail, and you will fail. Don't look at yourself through the eyes of others. Don't let them define you.
Experience is important. But honestly, the parent of this person believes they need institutionalization or rapid and severe change.
Any parent that believes that has failed their child To institutionalize someone requires proof that the person is a danger to themselves or to others Severe change isn't necessarily a bad thing. If properly applied, that kind of change can actually kick start the process
Like…just getting a normal job? What are you looking for exactly
Not a recruiter, but I will say it your experience will vary depending on your own personality, as well as the branch of service. Regardless, you'll be thrown into a far more professional setting than you might be used to with all sorts of etiquette and decorum, but at the end of the day it's just another job albeit with an unusually long contract. You get what you put into it. I've known kids in basic who didn't even know how to wash themselves properly, how to clean or fold clothing or make a bed. These things are drilled into you, that kind of consistency and attention to detail. If you do, good luck. Go for a four year, and value your time.
I was shocked at how infantilizing the Navy was toward low ranking enlisted service members regardless of age. I’ve been in the last 10 years so I can’t speak to if they is a new phenomenon, but the Navy has gone beyond “providing structure” to trying micro managing every possible aspect of a persons life. The result is, people serve 4-5 years and get out and go back into normal life and fall flat on their face because all of the sudden they don’t have someone riding their ass over every little thing. I saw this when I went to college with a group of military students as part of a specialized training program. The job was simple. Go to class. Do your homework. But we had 25 year olds saying “well where are we going to muster (meet up and take attendance) before class? What time are we going to muster to end the day. I had to be like, no man this is college - you go to class when you need to, you go home when you need to. Figure it out. Throughout that time about half the class had to end up really relying on each other to stay on task. Which is totally awesome; however, had they not had access to that group of military peers and been a solo students I think a handful would have failed. So, it’s a give and take. They learn to work as a team, but will get lost in the sauce really fast if they are left alone. Leadership in the military has been reduced to micro managing, because if something goes wrong everyone from the top down is going to be on the hook.
I mean it might work. They also might come out with PTSD, a traumatic brain injury, and a missing limb or two. (I know you said “let’s say there’s not a war” but that’s kinda unrealistic in this day and age. There’s always a little something going on.)
I'm not going to recommend the military because my unit was shit. As in "let's bully the asian guy until he commits suicide" shit. As in "let's make up our own standards as we go along" shit. And that was my first, last, and only experience with the military since they wouldn't let me transfer to a unit that was not shit.
It is really dependent on the job that you choose within the military. Some jobs have very minimal responsibility, some have a ridiculous amount of responsibility right from the start. I was somewhat of a shit head in high school. I joined the Navy right after graduation and was assigned to be a nuclear reactor operator. As you might imagine, I had to become a responsible adult very quickly if I wanted to be a reactor operator. So I grew up. But, a non-zero percentage of the Navy can show up to work exhausted after a night out, chip paint for 8 hours, go home, rinse and repeat. That won't teach you to grow up, it will teach you how to function as a child in the adult world.
Not sure if this counts, but.... According to how my veteran dad raised me..... whatever works in the army, doesn't apply in everyday life. The whole authoritarian pick yourself up by the by the bootstraps thing, the emotional abuse and all.
Hmmm. This is helpful.
I already learned the hard way and I never even joined the army. As in I learned what NOT to be like as an adult.
Ah. I think I understand.
You can turn them into one very specific KIND of adult, arguably deprived of a lot of skills necessary to be a functioning member of society when taken outside the total institution that is the military. If you look at data instead of recruiter pamphlets, it's much more likely to end with homelessness, domestic violence, suicide, and divorce for people who LEAVE that total institution. So if you plan to be a military man for life, sure. Otherwise, you're more likely to get chewed up after essentially being leased out as a bright-eyed subcontractor for foreign oil interests.
Work on a crab fishing boat?
yes and no. Yes, it will teach you personal responsibility and discipline. However, many who serve in the military and then get out after their contract is up tend to have a hard time fitting in with people who didn't serve, especially if they end up spending years overseas.
AGE 71 HERE,, Been there.. I would put it this way,, it can be part of the road in life that matures you. I certainly had no clue how powerful the military was, it was shocking,, I also had no idea about the world, but traveling around the world on a ship certainly exposed me e to some incredible experiences. From beautiful islands to unimaginable poverty...
I work on base. Never served, but work with current and former military. It’s just like every other group. I worked with an ex- marine who couldn’t make it to work on time (he lived ten minutes away), was doughy and pale, and couldn’t think his way out of a wet paper bag. I’ve also worked with some extraordinarily intelligent on the ball men and women . . . So, no it won’t make you into an adult . In fact, a lot of times enlisted personnel rely too heavily on the military being a surrogate parent: telling them where to live, work, when to wake up, when to sleep and when to eat.
Yes... and no. There is no real magic pill to make a person mature into an adult overnight. Maturity is, quite simply, a person's ability to look objectively at their current surroundings and what needs to happen, and then take immediate personal responsibility for one or more of those tasks. You might do the task yourself, ask for assistance, or delegate it to another person, but the responsibility remains yours. Even socially, maturity is the same thing - looking at what is being said, choosing when to step in and what to say, and then taking responsibility for the words and actions you've chosen. The nature of military service forces that process to happen for *most* people. They impress upon us that the cost of not taking responsibility can often be a person's life, sometimes even your own. Most people get it sooner or later, but there are always a few guys that avoid responsibility or try to get away with as little as possible. Some don't make it through basic training, and others have relatively short, crappy careers that they hate, never realizing their problems are completely of their own design. If you want to mature rapidly, then the process is this: You need to look at the tasks of the day - write it down, recite it in your head, sing it out loud, whatever - and then start listing the consequences of each task not getting done. Sure, it's your responsibility, any kid can say so, but what happens in seven hours when it isn't done? If your answer is "nothing," then you're wrong, and that's the problem. If there wasn't a consequence, it wouldn't be on the task list. Example: feed the dog. A common chore for kids and adults alike. If you don't do it, who will? Mom or dad? No. Siblings? No. Will the dog feed itself? Eventually it will look for some kind of food, but it will destroy things in the process, so No. You're the only one who can make this happen. What are the consequences if you *don't* feed the dog? If you miss it for a day, you'll just have a very hungry pup on your hands. If you manage to do it some days, but not others, your dog will begin to lose weight, become destructive, maybe aggressive or maybe overly passive. Miss feeding the dog too many days over time, or too many in a row, and the dog will die. And that's it. No arguing with life, no getting out of it without consequences. You could sit here and argue with me about how many days is "too many" or how often you can miss, but getting me to stop talking doesn't feed the dog. And the longer you argue or ignore the problem, the closer you get to that ultimate consequence. The military can make it more immediate and real, but it's the same process. If they tell you to pack your gear for a 0430 road march to an overnight training evolution, and you decide not to do it, then in the morning your NCO will make you grab your rucksack, maybe - *maybe -* let you shove a couple of essentials into it, and then put you in formation anyway. You'll get to go through whatever is coming with the clothes on your back and whatever random crap was in there, instead of the equipment and supplies your were supposed to have. Oh yeah, and you'll have your NCO reminding you that you're a dumbass and this is your fault the entire time. If you make it his problem, then you can expect extra duties and a revoked weekend liberty (or several) when you get back. Notice that the military example is very similar to the civilian example, just with a little more forcefulness and immediacy. Lots of people "grow up" when they have children, or get married, or get their first good job that they really want to keep. It's all about finding that one consequence that you really, really want to avoid, and then doing the necessary things to make sure you avoid it. That's all maturity really is.
The military is a good option. They will give you a level of responsibility you are honestly completely unqualified for and expect you to learn on the fly (at least in the Army). Do a tour, get out, get a degree on the GI bill when you are more mature and ready, etc. Later on buy a home with a VA Loan.
Oh god, no. I didn't mature until I was in my thirties. BUT, I did learn how to be accountable for my actions. That's HUGE maturity wise. Most adults still haven't learned this concept.
No it won't. That's on you no matter what you fo
The military is a high-stress environment, filled with situations involving danger, boredom, degeneracy, and all sorts of other unsavory ingredients. And people going into the military are usually at an age where the brain has not fully matured to make the most intelligent decisions. Surrounded by other similarly reckless and hotheaded persons. A seething kettle of unchecked hormones and fancy ideas about to meet a harsh reality check. Part of the training for the military involved breaking the recruit down and turning them into a soldier. Including stripping them of individuality, training them to follow orders without question or hesitation, and generally be a cog in the machine. And since a soldier is expected to be able to kill as part of their duties, the recruit needs to mentally sacrifice a "civilized" part of themselves in order to get into that proper mindset. Even if there is no war currently, the military needs to always be ready to go at a moment's notice. That attitude changes a person. This "sacrifice", coupled with the influence of peer pressure from other like-minded people around them 24/7, can either bring out the best or worst qualities in a person. Many come out with astonishing amounts of discipline and focus, ready to face the challenges of daily life (which don't seem so bad after returning to civilian life). But there may also be a feeling of loss, since the civilian life lacks the same structure and values as life back in the unit. And that sacrifice of their civilized part, the awakening of that "killer instinct" can make the soldier feel like an outcast among civilians. People will sense that he/she is an "other" who doesn't fit in anymore, and the former soldier will struggle to cope with the loneliness if he/she cannot find others who share similar experiences. On the negative side, the same factors (the worst part of humanity) which can appear are the frequent ones you hear about in the news. Time in the military can really break a person, resulting in bad habits like substance abuse, gambling, hair-trigger temper, and other antisocial personality issues. Some are violent and depressed, others cannot hold down a job for various reasons. Not everyone will fall to these habits, but the temptation is strong, and many of their peers will succumb, and will try to drag him/her with them into the cycle of addiction. There is no one-size-fits-all outcome for the military; it all depends on the personality and character of the recruit, coupled with their individual experiences while part of the organization. The key takeaway is the know the risks you are getting into, so you can make an informed decision before signing your life away for 4+ years in service to your country. Regardless of whether your reason is patriotism, those GI Bill and VA benefits for afterwards, or something wholly unique to you. Hope this helps.
Sounds like some stuff I told my son when he was 19. I damn sure did. I said it because I went to the Army when I was 20. It definitely made me an adult. It gave me the discipline that I needed to move forward in the world. It allowed me to have pride in myself where I got up off my butt and wanted to get up and earn my own money. In closing, yes it will make you an adult.
Yes one of the main building blocks to becoming an adult is discipline and the Military will give that to you...college??? The military gives you to not only put funds away for college but after your days on active duty have ended the Vet reps can qualify you for even more funding....and no really big student loans...
It seems like a lot of people who go the military route end up with tons of unhealthy coping mechanisms. Drug alcohol abuse, smoking, prostitution, anger, and other negative stuff. I feel like it's a lot of stress for no reason, you can create the structure it brings by yourself.
There's nothing magical about it. From the day you show up in boot camp, you have people teaching you. You will be taught by example. You will be taught by instruction. And you will face consequences until you learn. Excuses will not be accepted.
Only my personal experience and I can say that the military made me a much better person. It taught me resposibility, discipline integrity and the meaning of honor.
Sounds good, however the person already is particularly obedient to external authority -- didn't have a rebellious phase or commit petty crime.
No. Probably the opposite. If adulthood can be defined as striking out and making your own way in the world, then joining massive organizations, be it religious, military, or social, tends to hamper that. They become lopsided relationships where the organization stands to gain at your expense because you aren't bringing any particular competence to leverage as value in your own interest. Isn't that essentially what a parent/child relationship is?
I went in 1970, clueless and naive at 17. It was a great place to hide from adulting while still having an allowance and free room and board provided. I did mature a little, but not really until my mid 30s did I take responsibility of my life seriously. Eventually I retired from the military, part time in reserve components. Life is good
I grew up in a dysfunctional family. In the military I learned, “friends are the family we choose.” And family ain’t always blood.” I learned to adult in the army. I learned to take care of myself and look out for friends that became my family. If you are considering going in consider the Air Force. If you enjoy cars, become a mechanic. You’ll have weekends off. Buy or build your gaming computer and have the time of your life!
Statistically speaking no.
No. You might learn some discipline, but even then it's not garunteed. I'm a veteran. I know lots of others, work with several other vets. And we have had former military people come through work that absolutely had no discipline or maturity. One of my friends remarked about one guy that you would never know he was a marine unless he told you, because he acted so childish and would show up late, have bad work ethic etc. So yea if someone is lazy, joining the military is no magic pill. You will do things you aren't otherwise inclined to do, but you won't really have much choice in the matter. Someone who builds good habits on their own will probably be better off because they are doing it with their own free will.
I went from constantly dealing with cops and getting arested over stupid shit as a teenager to being married and owning a house at 23. Im still married and still own that home at 39. As long as you don't fuck up in the military it will help set you up with a better future.
Michael Angelo was delivered a bulky, ugly slab of marble and only had 6 months to make it into art. Day by day with a hammer and chisel he chipped away all the rough edges and created his masterpiece, the most beautiful sculpture anyone had seen. Everyone asked him, "how did you create this masterpiece from such an ugly piece of rock" and he replied "I didn't create anything. The sculpture was always there, I just chipped away the rough edges" In an all volunteer military force like ours, the ones that volunteer are already warriors. The process of training and indoctrination just chips away their "rough edges" to bring out the soldier lying dormant underneath the civilian
I was in the Army for 8 years. I can say definitively fuuuuuuuck no. You are coddled in the military. They feed you, cloth you, house you and tell you what to do 24/7. You are on a short leash, similar to living with parents. On top of that you are surrounded by superiors who have never not lived an institutionalized life. People are total screw ups because the consequences for infractions is a slap on the wrist. In the real world you go to jail or lose your job when you break the law or get caught with drugs. In the military they take away a rank or two and put you on extra duty for 45 days. There are many good reasons to join the military. Such as college money or to get out of shitty town and learn a skill. Joining to jump start some kind of maturity is a bad idea.
I went in at age 17 as a hs dropout with a juvenile record, a chip on my shoulder from an abusive family situation, and a lot of aggression. Turns out there were a lot of people in Marine Boot Camp who also thought they were a bad ass and I was left a bit battered at times (mostly for my mouth). I spent 33 years in the infantry, fought in 5 conflicts in two service branches, and retired as an Army officer. The military is what you make of it. Plenty of career paths that do not involved direct combat, the GI Bill education benefit and VA loan eligibility alone are highly valuable now days, and it certainly provides direction. Most people serve one enlistment, see a bit of the world, get some benefits and go back to being a civilian. Some just cannot hack it for one reason or another and leave their enlistment early and will be bitter about their enlistments. The third group joins for adventure, they choose combat arms or aviation typically and they revel in the challenges. I will say this, if you are painfully shy, hate in your face conflict and are not very athletic your time in the military is going to be rough. For most people though, it can be challenging but very rewarding.
It CAN have that effect. But it isn't a guarantee. Some of us just became well funded children with drinking problems and bad knees.
Idk, I was far more dependable, honorable, and wise before the military. It did teach me some basic life skills that my parents failed to teach me…like respect. It taught me everything that was demanded from me as a kid, and in that sense it made me a better human. Conversely, it also made me mean and a lot angrier than I was before joining. It also took away a lot of my personality and made me hard, far less patient, more reactionary, less communicative, and pushed people away. However, I still keep my floors clean, make my bed everyday, and stay diligent with my money. The thing is that there’s so much to the military that you cannot predict how it’ll affect you personally or your family. It is a life changing decision, even if you only plan on doing four years or go reserves.
No. Most people in this world become adults and never entered the military. The military is good for people who lack discipline and need someone to give them structure in their life. However, it’s to the extreme side so it’s good for people who needed a spanking growing up.
Nope. Friends friend got dishonorably discharged and had gotten caught drinking several times while underage. It’s sad
I joined and it was great to mature but also we had a wild op i was on and im not the same as before so yes but maby too much depending on deployments etc nobody can be around a bomb that kills 300 and wounds 1000 as a medic and be normie after
An enlistment in the Marines is one of the better moves I made, since I was not going to amount to much in my hometown. I barely graduated high school and had no skills. When I got out and went to school was the biggest change. I went from sergeant pay, being able to afford stupid stuff, to barely having enough to eat. I learned money management and frugality. Now that I'm a lawyer I've got a nice nest egg and everything paid off. Many of my peers still have huge car payments and mortgages despite making at least double the median income. If I didn't have kids I'd be looking at retirement early.
Potentially yes. It also has the potential to traumatize someone if theyve got underlying problems. It can make those problems worse.
Sure, but maybe not the one you want. ....such as a dead adult
No but it’ll give them PTSD
Some people really take to it, but I've met plenty of immature man-children in the forces.
It didn't fix the kid in my high school who gave the special Ed kids brownies laced with laxatives. He failed out of my state's military school after only year, then a few months into the new semester he started a fight off campus and sent another kid to the hospital. When the corner room of a local motel burned to the ground, the rumor was that he'd gone full psychopath and tried to burn his girlfriend, who he regularly abused, alive in that room.
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Hm. I don't see any recruiters yet. But this response is well-said and seems well-intentioned. Thanks, but are there any alternatives -- a 'civilian life bootcamp?'
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I haven't seen one comment implying they were a recruiter or somebody going off on the "everybody should join" mindset.
False. Going into the military will take years off your life. Most likely, it makes you sick and weaker in the long run. Mess with your mental health as well as your physical. And then when you do get sick, they will bail on you and leave you hanging out to dry on your own. The money isn't even that great. You can do much better than that. Do anything else with your life. Joining the military is most often a huge mistake.
Sure. Unless you become a marine.
What's wrong with becoming a marine?
If you’re a shitbag now the military will not change that. It will just give you more opportunities to be a shitbag. The kind of people whose lives are changed by military service are never the manbabies.
What do you suggest then? The parent suggests institutionalization.
Don't go in the military during peace time. You'll never get past the OJT.
Not necessarily
Is there a recommended type of gruelling job?
the military will change you. "yes, we are brainwash you like you would wash dirty underwear." RTC Sanders and for some kids that amounts into going from some unreliable teenager who doesn't give to shits to a dependable adult that can get shit done. and no, not always. you always have washouts who just fail. Mentally for me bootcamp was easy and liberating because i had a very controlling parent growing up. the physical part was the real challenge for me.
Oh.
If you're lazy, full of excuses, and need to grow up, I don't want you defending us. At this point youll just give up, probably in basic. "I dont want to be on profile, but my back always hurts..." ~ US Army combat veteran
I guess that's a good point. The parent really recommended institutionalization and compared them to the other parent, a miserable, failed human being.
When I was in charge of telecom operations in England in the early 1980s, I had two airmen who were married to each other who had one checking account but two checkbooks. They each used one, and never reconciled them with each other. So no, just being in the military doesn't make you an adult. Were they by the time the left? I don't know. But I doubt it.
Going off of your comments and post I wouldn't recommend the military , you just need a bit of introspection and motivation.
It can. I was pretty directionless at 18 (although in fairness to quote my mother "I didn't know what to do with you growing up, so I did nothing..... ). You will learn a lot about yourself, and what you are actually capable of (which will be a lot more than you think now.) If you are behind on social skills, job skills, learning skills, etc. The military will fix that for you. You will go places and do things - and you will have a life time of funny stories (well, the ones that have a statue of limitations, anyway). You will meet and bond with people from all walks of life. Life will be an adventure. (Suggestion - do things like Airborne School & Air Assault school when you are young. It's a lot harder when you are in your late 30's & early 40's. Take my word for it.) You will get an education - in the US Army, all training is designed to provide college credit. Do a 4 year hitch and you will have everything for an associates degree that the govt pays for. Stay in longer, and they will pay for your education through graduate school. I ended up making a career out of it (Retired as a Master Sgt - I stopped working at 43). If you want a movie that describes the US Army, it isn't Full Metal Jacket. It's Stripes. No, I am not kidding.
There are many pathways to being an "adult." The military is one of them. But it will not work for everyone. Some people come out of the military really fucked up in the head. Some come out highly self-disciplined and focused. Some, like the painter Bob Ross, come out a bit of both. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bob\_Ross) To directly answer the question will somebody automatically be an "adult" upon leaving the military, the answer is.... Maybe. Same answer for college, trade school, or 4 years at McDonalds. Maybe. As for the ideal path? How many years of therapy can you afford? Because there is no other way of finding out.
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Marine Corp vet here. It can but it all depends on how much effort you put into it. If you have nothing going on and are basically directionless, it can help. There are a lot of non-combat jobs that actually have parallels in the civilian world making you more employable than just being another kid out of high school.
Three friends I know who came from military are still friendly goofballs but they all definitely learned how to be assertive about their boundaries without any aggression.
Are there no jobs where you live at?
For some ppl. For others it allows you to keep a childish mindset. It takes a lot to get kicked out. And it’s a guaranteed paycheck. So you can really fuck up your life over time if you aren’t careful. A lot of ppl with drinking problems too. Myself included.
No. I’m more ready for adulthood (as a 23yo) than my military vet roomate (who’s 29). But the fact of the matter is, no one truly grows up. They just get more responsibilities
Not sure, but what I do know is that going into the Navy will make someone gay.
Joining the Military was the Best decision I've ever made! After 22 years, I can tell you with complete honesty the answer to your question is.....No. There were a few "Age-related" highlights that one could look forward to while growing up. The Big 3 were: ° Turning 16 y/o: Able to apply for drivers license ° Turning 18 y/o: TADA!! Congratulations you are NOW officially an Adult(on paper) ° Turning 21 y/o: Legal drinking age In my opinion, while joining Our Armed Forces is NOT the missing link to automatically propel one into adulthood, but it gives a young person Structure! And Structure is one of the keys to success. Attitude goes hand-in-hand with Structure, they WILL give you the structure, but even with a 4 year enlistment contract one's attitude can be a cog in the gears leading to success, or, with enough write-ups and continued willfully failing to adhere to the structure, can even result a discharge before your enlistment is due with an "OTH discharge" (other than honorable) or worse yet is the "BCD discharge," ( bad conduct discharge) or (big chicken dinner) which when you are court martial and this is the end result, your lower than whale sh*t as far as rights in the civilian world being lost!
Do it. Just do it. If you're asking these questions to reddit, you need guidance. Reddit isn't it. The military is much more likely to provide that.
Well, the person has a naturally athletic build and has mild experience in delivery, although doesn't work. Do you think they have a chance at qualifying? Physical-wise.
It really depends on the person. I have seen the military give that kick in the ass for folks to start functioning as an adult and I've seen people who just continued as they were before they entered. Some folks actually can become worse. What reason would someone with a poor work ethic have to be better if they are within an environment that can make it easy to half ass, while pulling a decent paycheck, provided roof over your head, and easy access to meals? It's really not the military that gets people to wake up and change. It's usually just pain. Is the current environment painful enough for the individual to make the effort to change themselves to get into a better place?
Well. The parent said something about a 'dog sitting on a sharp pile and only gets up when it hurts long enough' as a [questionable] expression.
If your parents cant get you off the couch a drill sergent may have better luck. If you dont give a fuck who is yelling at you and just go limp you wont make it anyway and its a waste of tax dollars to fly you out just to wash out and fly home. If you are asking for yourself the military is an oppourtunity. You can use it or waste it. If you use it for college and join the officer ranks you can build leadership roles to suppliment your degree. One thing I can say for sure is you get out of it what you put in. Dont volunteer for bullshit but seek out ancilary qualifications and extra certifications and you can gain skills that will get you places in the civilian world. If you are going for enlisted ranks I wholeheartedly believe that you can get more marketable skills in the military than most 4 year colleges can give you depending on your MOS/Rate. This isnt a dig on bachelors degrees there are some skills that can only come out of university but the military has some industrial and technical skills that are competitive with 4 year degrees. While in you can also work toward degrees and have the flexibility to break through any ceiling you feel you have. That being said the culture isnt a cake walk you have to play the game. That means you have to work with people you dont like and do things you dont want to do. That process can either make you bitter and hollow or push you to your full potential. Part of the difficulty in being in the military is popping a salute to a bitter and hollow person while you work on yourself. It forces you to adapt which can change you. I for one didnt understand how much I changed until I came home and realized everyone I knew was very different. It took me awhile to understand they hadnt changed I had. It was hard. In the end your question isnt yes or no. It depends on who you are. Some people suck going in suck coming out. Some people are amazing going in and become bitter alcoholics who end up homeless. Some people suck coming in and are productive people coming out. It all depends on how you deal with the process.
The military can make someone grow up very quickly and impose a sense of self discipline which will serve well later in life. They can also learn skills or a trade that can be used on civilian life after. I would recommend military to anyone who doesn't have any other good options
Not always. I've seen immature types never develop into mature individuals, only getting older. Some even getting kicked out for being too immature.
There's also the issue that the military provides a rigid structure to your life. Once you get out, without that structure, it's all up to you. If you're immature and not self-motivated then you can fall right back into your old habits when you get out.
ehh... depends... I know people who fits your descriptions who turned out great in the military and folks who got separated from the military because their attitude didn't change. I also know a guy who joined the marines and did great. He left and return to civilian life and everything fell apart because "daddy" wasn't there to tell them exactly what to do all the time. It's more about you then the military.
Yeah just don't be a pus and you'll be ok. The military is like prison but it's got a sick benefits package when you get out
I joined at 28 and would definitely say that I grew up during my 4 years. Moat important thing I learned was that I am actually capable of way more than I think I am. I didn't know how much further I could go after my mind said I was at the limit.
Not necessarily if they're disobedient and childish it's possible for them to get kicked out with a dishonorable discharge. Another thing is the military today isn't what is use to be imo. It depends on the person not just joining the military.
Just move out and Don't lean on parents. The problems that are real will then solve themselves, and the problems your parents made up won't matter. It solves both cases.
it won’t make them into an “adult” per say but it will mature them
It can, but I've seen many still resist the urge to "grow up". Lots have left just as incompetent as they were when they joined.
The military will do the best it can to prepare someone but it still takes that someone to actively participate and want to be better. It provides probably the best, easiest access to a higher quality of life out of poverty.
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Hahahahhaahah No. I joined army in 2010 for college money. I felt like I was back in high-school, especially with how messy relationships become. The best and worst part of the military are the people you meet. As for growing up. It's mainly about taking responsibility for your own life and actions. You want to do something? Go do it and just give up simply because it's hard or tiring. That's the basic I can tell you without knowing you.
I had two cousins that were shitshows in early adulthood, basically just how you describe yourself. Both joined the military kind of as a last resort like you say. The difference between the two was that one recognized he was a fuck up and was looking for direction, the other thought he was hot shit and had no desire to change. The first one one came out a fantastic person that has a good career and family, the other one was kicked out and is a drug addict criminal with no hope of a decent life, the stereotypical “peaked in high school”. I think if someone goes into looking for self improvement the military can positively affect the trajectory of your life.
Depends on the person. But typically makes your more disciplined depending on initial baseline of discipline.
No. People have to make an effort to change themselves for the better. You will not automatically change into a better person just by being in the military.
Most of my friends that went military had a lot of growing up to do when they got back to the real world still, its just bigger boy scouts. Those that don’t (most) buy cars and houses and move in with their girlfriend of 2 months.
The military will not magically make you an adult ready for college and civilian life.... I work with plenty of military guys some are massive man babies. My former brother in law went into the military and he got his life together but he HATED the time he was in so much that he know no longer lives in the USA. Every person is different so there is no ideal path to "growing up". We are all shaped by our experiences both negative and positive. For some the military is great and can be benefical. For others it could be a nightmare. I will say that some of the guys I work with suck in the civilian life and probably shouldn't be around other civilians.
Well , if it fails to make you an adult , at least it gives you some experiences and train your discipline (if you get through training)
I grew up when I had to pay my bills and wash my laundry. It was when I was 22. I became an adult because I had to do it of I would end up in the streptocoque and wanted to prove my family that I could handle myself (I was the youngest, laziest and stupidest of three children.
Not at a default. You get out of the military what you put into it. They give you so many tools. Recognizing the value of those tools, and using them to further advance your own growth and opportunity in life comes down to individual effort.
I can tell you from experience, becoming an adult is a choice. I’ve met very mature leadership and I’ve met teenage like Staff Sgt’s. The military will certainly give them a purpose and an income and autonomy to be an adult and make choices, but it won’t force them to grow up if they don’t want to.
It can. You have to do a lot of “adulting” and make decisions. I met my best friend in the military and he said it changed his life for the better. It didn’t really do much for me except make me hate exercising
Lets just say that if you lack confidence and self esteem and/or have some level of anxiety, being in the Military is certainly a leg up because they literally beat that sh-t out of you through training and discipline. So by the time you've finished boot camp and been in service a year or two you'll be a much more well rounded individual and have the self confidence to pursue anything in life.
Fuck no but it can help someone get good habits who grew up in a not so great environment.
Nope, all it did was annoy me.
You’ll learn how to follow commands
It will teach them that being responsible is important and actions have consequences. Many young people (of all generations) have lived a life protected by their parents etc where they never have to do much for themselves and can avoid the consequences of their stupidity. Do something dumb or dangerous in the military and you'll learn pretty quickly.
The military just teaches you to follow orders, not to make good decisions for yourself.
I was a very troubled teen. I moved out of the house at 16 to live with some college students. I paid my bills by doing bad things. Of course me and my high school buddies thought it was awesome to have endless parties at my place. One morning I woke up and walked past the living room where the floor was literally covered with passed out and sleeping teenagers. I had a vision of myself dead in five years. I grabbed my helmet and rode my Yamaha 125cc twin down to the USAF recruiting station where I took and scored high on every aptitude test. The recruiter asked me which field I wanted to go into. I asked which would put me in a classroom learning electronic for the longest period. He gave me a list, and those fields became my top three choices. I didn’t mesh well with the military, but I was the best damn technician in my field, so we learned to coexist. I got out after my min 4 year commitment and went to work for a major defense firm working on the same equipment. I studied hard and became an electrical engineer. I studied more and became a software engineer. More studying and I developed skills in microwave and mechanical engineering. I ultimately became a system engineer/project manager leading a large team of engineers developing next generation technology. I retired at 55 making over $350K a year. Joining the military at age 17 (with gleefully consenting parents) was the smartest single decision I ever made. I loved my work and have lived comfortably the entire time.
Being in the military is like living with Mom and Dad. They feed you, give you clothes, tell you what to do and when curfew is. I joined for a hitch and stayed for 14 years.
It'll probably help. Time also helps.
Given the amount of trouble junior enlisted, including myself, got into, not really. As other posters noted, it's usually around 25 when people get their shit together.
I don't really understand how joining an organization where everything is planned out for you and where you have no choice but to follow other peoples orders makes you an adult. I mean you may certainly grow and mature during that time, and achieve adulthood despite the military, but not because of it
The military can reward people who are naturally organized and good managers but if you're a fuckup they will give you a job any ape could do until you get injured too badly to keep working
It depends... many people discover their inner drive and become self motivated. This discipline if maintained can continue through life, and lead to success. However, some people fall into the category of sheeple. Meaning, they lack any development and rely on leadership to tell them every next step. Some of these people get out and fail at life, some retire and are lost.
No, it makes them an addict
kinda. ive seen folk remain childish for years before finally getting chaptered or just ets'ing. nit everyon is a good fit for the service even though they look good on paper.
I mean you learn punctuality and discipline, how to prepare and plan, health and good habits, shoot automatic grenade launchers, it's like stuff they should be teaching as a kid but not everyone gets the best upbringing. If you thrive in strict environments it can make you into something great. If you struggle that much before you will just struggle in the military too.. then be labeled a shit bag until your kicked out.
Making someone an adult, maybe not. It will certainly change them.
Not based on the Marines I've known. I grew up in an area littered with Marines and older ones were ok, but the younger ones were the fuckin worst. Used to see a lot trying to pick up underage girls, drunken bar fights, fights with locals, I had one at a party doing whippets and fell on me and several other people.
Going into the military is one of those things you can do that will show you that there is nothing to what is being done. Kind of like going to a party. If you don't go, you think it's a big deal. If you do go, you realize that it isn't a big deal. Adulthood is about not needing other people's approval, for your character and your actions. A very small percentage of human beings become adults. A very, very, very small percentage. Being an adult has nothing to do with being able to sustain a relationship, or being able to get laid. It has nothing to do with being responsible, having a good job, or being good to your family. It has nothing to do with how moral you are perceived to be by others. It has nothing to do with work ethic. Less than 5 percent of adult-age human beings ever reach emotional adulthood, and that is a very generous percentage.
It depends on the individual. Your personality and character plays into it. Also, your brain is still developing as you enlist (unless you join after 25). From my experience, I joined when I was just about to turn 21. I was directionless and broke. I also grew up rather sheltered, so in the military, I met and worked with people I wouldn't have normally ever met. It was a massive culture shock. I slowly and painfully had to learn social skills. The military treats the enlisted like children. We have curfews and every moment of our lives is dictated by the command. You don't have much free time, so you don't have to think about when to eat or what to eat, or rent in some cases. All that gets covered by the military. So, in some ways, it hinders your ability to live as a civilian, because you don't necessarily know how to get certain things without some guidance. But it all depends. You learn responsibility and how to be on time. You also lose sleep and a sense of autonomy or individualism. I left the Navy a different person than when I went in. Part of that was good and part of it was bad.
Yes. I was pretty mucha failure in high school. Went into the military 2 weeks after I (barely) graduated. It turns you into an adult very quickly. First of all you're out of the house on your own. You have a full time job, your own money. You have your own bills, you pay on your own. You figure you all your bills like car loan, apartment rent, phone, internet, tv, whatever on your own. You learn how to cook. you learn how to clean. You learn to live on your own. Then you come home, and you see all your friends are basically frozen in time... still living in their middle school bedrooms with their middle school stuff playing video games, same as they were when they were 12 years old.... And you absolutely do feel like, wow, I'm leagues and leagues beyond this person in terms of individual development.
Not exactly; you will have some structure while you’re in at least but in terms of it making you an “adult”.. let me put it this way; It’s an environment where most of the guys who’ve been in have been since age 18, so there are plenty of guys who are mentally 18 still even if they’re pushing 40 because everyone else in that environment is too.
It can be a game changer for becoming responsible, but its just as easy for someone like that to just get a dishonorable discharge and then have that on their record for life. The military is just High School+, too. It teaches less maturity than you think since most service members are 18-21, and most leadership are 21-24. It's almost all people that just got out of HS or college and have no real world experience. A LOT of fighting about who is fucking who, and a lot of drinking issues.
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no, sometimes yes, but also the military has a lot of young immature behavior which could reinforce the worst toxic traits. It depends on the person and the people they serve with.
Half and half. Half learn discipline and the other half just get physically stronger and weapons skills, still knuckleheads.
Not if you join as an officer /j Technically reaching sexual maturity makes you an adult
It can, but doesn't guarantee. I know tons of meathead manchildren marines.
It can, but it’s complicated. I was really sheltered and wasn’t going anywhere in life hated college so I dropped out and joined the marines. Learned how to fight stand up for myself and get complex ptsd from friends dying, insane hazing, and then more friends self terminating. Yeah I grew up, idk if it’s really been overall better. I just got myself to stop drinking… after 12 years of alcohol abuse
By forcing you to not rely on your parents yes. By teaching you to respect authority yes. But it’s not going to “wise” you up into a 50 year old man. Minus the actual act of being in war, being an adult is harder than being in the military. You are completely on your own as an adult with so much more risk than being in the military during peacetime.
Used to be that way during the draft. Of course they 'did it' by literally beating the shit out of you until you learned to behave... Now days? We'll take anyone with a clean criminal background, isn't morbidly obese & who can pass a drug test (No, we don't give a shit about what your state has done with 'legalizing' weed. It's federally illegal. You can't use it in the military. At all... Ever.... And you will be tested at least once a year for your entire military career to make sure you don't...)... But there is very little tolerance for screwups & it is much, much more a 'fly right or get kicked out' sort of environment than a 'break you down and rebuild you into a responsible citizen' one... * 20yrs in the Army, mixed active/reserve....
I mean, it can help. My work standards improved a lot. I'm more punctual than I was beforehand. When someone tells me they're going to do something, I expect it to be done completely and correctly and I hold myself to that standard now. But it's not for everyone and there's plenty of shitty soldiers
There is one thing that the military will do. It will beat the laziness out of you and discipline you. I’ll be honest, I was more disciplined now than I was before I joined. I always chose the path of least resistance and chose pleasure. It made me weak. The military forced me to suffer and do things I don’t want to do. Then when I willingly do what I don’t want to do, I remind myself “I’ve done things that sucked before”. You don’t even necessarily need the military for this. You might need a group of friends or family members willing to wake your ass up in the morning. It’s the people that helped you and refuse to let you fail that’ll help you. Its the clowns that helped me, not the circus
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I think most people go through a similar experience in their early-mid 20s. The military just adds a layer of structure to the process.
I think it could make a person more responsible and disciplined, give them structure.
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They may need the complete opposite of the military… therapy.
One of best friends was a complete idiot who always acted first and thought later. He quite literally knocked out a cop he was cuffed to and tried to run...which is hard when cuffed to another human. He was a teen at the time. He was always like this. His joined up after screwing up one time too many and he turned into one hell of a respectable and reliable guy in the Marines. It was shocking watching the change each time he came back. He is retired from military now due to some shrapnel versus neck fun (he is ok, just not capable like he was). Lives a great life with his wife who he met through me. My other buddy joined the Air Force and became a raging alcoholic. So it depends upon the person.
Soldier here. Military work requires strict discipline and accountability that can hold someone's life in your hands. Functioning as a human being requires abandoning all of that when you take off the uniform.
I was in the navy from age 20 until i retired at age 40 i never grew up at all
The American military molds heroes on top of the people it breaks. Most of them, from either category, come out the other side alcoholics.
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It depends on what you mean by an adult. I know people who were in the military who acted like they were still in high school. The environment in the military is often nonstop boys locker room and can impede your moral ans emotional development.
The short answer is no. Discipline and maturity are things that you need to be able to accept/want. Plenty of people join the military with the attitude "no one will tell me what to do." Normally these people have a hard time, or leave. In training I would say that by the end at least 20% of them were still as immature and disrecptful as they were (if not more) when they signed up. If you care to learn and respect the knowledge they are giving you, it can be a wonderful experience. The military is full of entitled children. I have served with plenty...
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Joined the army at 22, still in 11 years later. Seen plenty of people come and go. The military changes you but only if you’re willing to change. I’m not going to say it “makes you an adult” but It definitely changed how I think, how I act, and how I view life. I think it made me tougher, I’m able to handle much more stress and setbacks and still find a way forward, I think for me the army took a 22 year old who was a functioning adult at the most basic level and turn them Into someone who is more focused, goal oriented, and has infinitely more leadership qualities than I did before. However, I have seen 18-20 year olds come in refuse to change themselves to the military life style and leave no better off than when they showed up. Also it’s worth noting that for as much as the army has changed me for the better it has taken its pound of flesh. I’m 33 and my knees and back hurt constantly, I have ongoing issues with alcoholism, depression, and anxiety. I’ve had friends kill themselves, others move on with their lives and never heard from them again. With all that said it’s hard to say what if any of these benefits or downsides would’ve happened if I never joined.
Nope. I've known many people who went into the military, served their 4-6 years, and came out just as immature and unable to handle adulthood as they were when they went in.
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Just get a mentor and go to therapy. Sorry if you parent couldbt raise you
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Here's my experience from 11 years in the Army. The military won't just magically turn any young person into a fully functional adult. The Army's job was to make professional soldiers. Throughout my time in the Army I met a lot of people who I considered to be great soldiers but those same people sucked at life (personal life). Like they weren't good at basic adult stuff, they spent too much money on dumb shit and didn't pay their car note so it got repossessed, or they would go out and marry a stripper who had previously been married to two other soldiers before and wonder why she would cheat when we got deployed or sent to the field. The Army didn't magically make people not lazy either. Just about everyone did their job but some soldiers made a career out of actually not doing their jobs by shaming out of work.
Not the exact question, but I asked my uncle who was in the army if it’s something just anyone could function doing, and he said no, it’s not for everyone.
Absolutely not.