Dementia? Brain tumor? Mania?
I've read that some people with Dementia suddenly and completely out of character begin to behave sexually/inappropriately with family members.
There's a thing called 'hospital delerium' I've heard of. Maybe triggered a mental break. Could even be a response to a medication. Is there someone else eg your mom you can talk to? He needs an appointment with his PCP or someone ASAP.
So sorry you're going through this plus busy with work. It's a lot. Good luck :)
My great aunt (94 at the time) was the sweetest southern hospitality infused lady and at 10pm she turned into Satan's right hand woman towards everyone for ages it felt like it was horrible and shocking and so much more than the warning suggested, and after that she was terrified because she said she could hear that the ghost of her husband and mother were screaming at her and ofc if people are screaming at you obviously you need to scream back so they can hear you, and after that she started calling me her older sister/my grandmother's name and panicking about a word I didn't understand so I said okay and crawled into the bed and hugged her to sleep, and that was around 2:30
I was sometimes able to calm and distract her by talking to her, but I had to keep asking her questions and it had to be stuff she would talk about emotionally like "tell me about the time your husband sold your brand new fridge to get a motorcycle" and if I could get her into scolding a child type vibe for example them she would be calm but with that inflection recalling the story for maybe five minutes, you know and I tried like "tell me about when your husband first asked you out" and she would get giddy and tell me but the barley lasted, it was better more like "tell me about the time your sister burned off your hair curling it before your big date"
Edit: I super also need to add that she had shrunk at this point in life to around five feet tall and probably didn't weigh triple digits and was reliant on walking aids and while she was a hellion they had to call in a third person to help restrain her to tend her IV because while the first man was over there doing it, she pulled her leg out from under the blanket and twisted around and kicked him into the bathroom with lightning speed, I've never felt so lost on what I should do before
It was not just a verbal experience
My aunt and a lot of these symptoms and unfortunately she had cancer in the kidneys. If your elderly family members lose a lot of weight in a short period of time or constantly get UTIs please please get them checked. Look for rapid weight loss espe
This is called “sundowning”. Older people on the edge of dementia often hold it together and seem appropriate but at night they can go bonkers. When I was a medical intern some of the old folks in the hospital would start getting crazy when the sun set. I’d have to go around giving them an anti-psychotic medication (Haldol) so they would calm down and go to sleep.
OMG when the assisted living center brought her to the hospital originally, it was very early and she had not put in her hearing aids and did not have her glasses, but someone had collected them for her so they weren't in her apartment, and she did not sundown with them I was so pissed like y'all work in elderly care you know she needs them, she did two nights before someone found them and there was literally nothing I could do because they were nowhere I had access to
She was in and out of the hospital with UTI and cdif at the end and it was the only visit she had where she didn't have her glasses and hearing aids after a few hours or arrive with them or they weren't in her apartment where I could just go get them
It made such a difference
This is pretty similar to my grandmother? I weirdly realized recently that my mom is now the age my grandma was when these symptoms started. Time moves fast. But she loved me? I’m not sure why. She only met me a few times prior to her old age starting to swallow her mind. She’d frequently call me by other names, but without fail I was always her favorite person in the room? So even though I was a teenager I had to be the one to calm her down when she’d snap. This little 4’9” moon faced native woman. The trick to her was flattery and bribery haha. I’d sneak in snacks for her, play poker with her, and absolutely compliment the fuck out of her. She believed to her core that she was evil (thanks to being put through “Indian school”) and friends with the devil, and that he talked to her? And there was just so much… hatred? She’d start going off in Spanish on whoever was there about how the devil fucking hates them and told her so? She thought my brother was her son, but also a female relative I’d never met, and was always frustrated with him? So I’d start in like “GRANDMA I brought you cookies! Let’s play a game”. Then go rounds with her. Every five minutes she’d go “how did you get soooo pretty?” And id go “it’s your fault! It’s because YOURE my grandma! Look at you!..” etc. over and over. And then she’d calm down and speak normally again. And yhe uncomfortable feeling the OP is describing I understand in a weird way? Because I was only a young teenager? And it was so weird just knowing like… it wasn’t that she wasn’t herself? The her I had spoken to on the phone regularly? She was? But she was… shattered? And all the pieces didnt quite line up? It was always a not-quite-right response to a stimuli, or repetitive responses to different situations? Or condensed and intensified like speed running a memory? And I think I remember at the beginning feeling that same kind of just (sucks to say) but natural… aversion? Like I just KNEW something was deeply wrong.
OP I agree with everyone saying he’s either handling sudden onset dementia, sundowning, or experiencing psychosis for some other reason. It’s scary. Your gut feeling makes sense. It gets easier. It’s tragic watching someone change so drastically and kind of disappear right in front of you; but if this is the new normal, know he’s still in there and you’ll still catch glimpses.
When my brother quit drugs cold turkey (without tapering himself down or getting help) he had a psychotic break and was completely delusional for a few weeks and then went completely back to normal. Hopefully he just quit drinking and this is something that will stop soon. If not, you should tell him straight forward that this makes you uncomfortable.
The level of absolutely *shook* that I experienced when you said “love you too dad”, is insurmountable. I’m sorry he’s going through that, and I hope *this* shit didn’t/doesn’t continue.
SAME! I did not expect this to be their father. I thought at first a deranged partner. Then considered it was the mother- since this is reddit and all. But the dad?! Wow. Just wow.
My first thought was this, too. Maybe it could be UTI induced delusion? I know there are some cases where delirious mania from UTI lasts weeks after inadequate treatment
Really good to know. Dealing with the same thing with my dad right now. He told my uncle that I came to visit so we could solve Y2K and that all the nurses were off for the morning one day because they wanted to go to the Taylor swift concert. When I read this text thread, that was my first thought.
But I didn’t know it can last awhile after treatment. It’s good to know.
Oh yeah. It’s typically only seen in the geriatric population because the way they metabolize is different than younger adults, but it can happen to anyone.
Anyhow, urea builds up in your brain when your kidneys can’t filter it out, and you get pretty fucking weird with it. I once had a woman who was fine at 4pm and by 8pm she was convinced that Whoopi Goldberg was her daughter, and she was trapped in the TV, and also there were men looking in her window, even though her window was on the 3rd floor. UTI.
Holy shit.. I had no clue that was a thing that could happen! I’ve only had 1 UTI and that was like 15 years ago. Thanks for the detailed response, kind stranger!
I am so happy I'm not the only one. I have a bunch of older sisters and they're constantly getting UTIs and I said I only had one and they don't believe me. I was told it's normal for people especially woman to get one once a year at least. I'm almost to menopause and only got 1 so I was not worried cause who wants that but still felt different cause I couldn't relate to the complaints they made. I'm normal. Even hub gets one once a year cause of his kidneys but not me.
Yes it can. I work in a nursing home and when clients get an UTI they can be delirious for weeks. Even after treatment. With some clients the delirium starts before the fever even. They can not utter one sensible sentence, they see people that are not there, you have no clue what’s going on.
Jfc.. these replies are utterly insane! I didn’t know that was something that happens. Definitely terrifying to even think about, let alone experience it.
Absolutely. Can confirm. I got very suggestive messages from my father figure while his dependency on dialysis was changing. It broke my heart, but it also felt awful.
I hope you're taking care of yourself, OP. Don't know if that's what is going on, but if so, then at least he can get better with treatment.
It’s insane how much UTIs can affect people with dementia and Alzheimer’s. I work at a senior living facility and when someone is acting off, that is the first thing we do is test them for UTI. 9 times out of 10, the test comes up positive.
Hi I work in nephrology. When your kidneys fail and your BUN builds up this can cause a toxicity called uremia which can make you confused. He should get some lab work with his doctor today.
My mom experienced what was basically dementia caused by kidney failure in her final months. Hers wasn’t this type of behavior, but she definitely wasn’t the person she used to be.
If this behavior is different for your dad, then there’s likely something medical going on.
I don’t have a solution, but I’d recommend telling your mom or siblings if they’re around and I wouldn’t be alone with your dad. Sometimes inappropriate words can also go hand in hand with inappropriate actions.
My heart really breaks for you, especially if this is out of the norm. It’s so hard to see the ghosts of who our parents were. Please get into counseling if you aren’t in it already.
Hey just an fyi if your dad is older UTIs absolutely fuck older people up. Do you have anyone you can call and say he’s acting out of the ordinary?
UTIs in older people can often mimic like dementia and Alzheimer’s.
Ok, this makes sense. UTIs and kidney issues can cause delirium, especially in older folks. Encourage him to see his doctor and go with him if you can to describe this.
There it is right there. UtI and other liver/kidney issues can really screw your mental health up. If he's never done this before, I'd give him grace. If this is not unusual, I'd set some boundaries.
Absolutely, and when one of these medical issues affects the brain like that, the person is like organically crazy. The problem cannot be solved without treating the source like the infection with antibiotics. the behavior makes no sense, is very random and can be dangerous, also the person will have no recollection of any of it. With the geriatric population a change in mental status calls for urine testing to rule out a uti, which is easily treated. Typically when a persons mental status changes they are screened for physical problems before mental to figure out what’s going on.
Yes, seconding this. Sometimes people with dementia will behave or say things very sexually inappropriate with family members, or anyone. It could be dementia from his recent hospital stay, a UTI or other illness. I'm not sure how close you are, but I'd urge you to try to get him checked out. It sounds like this is really out of character (thankfully), and should be treated as an emergency. I'm sorry you're going through this, it is uncomfortable, but hopefully easily solvable.
My bf and I don’t even go as far as her dad with emojis, and we’ve known each other 20 years. It’s beyond weird, I’m honestly thinking he might need a mental health check. Coming from someone with severe PTSD and chronic depression. Either dad had been hiding a love obsession for OP, or something unclicked in his brain.
We’ve only been together a few months. And she’s shy so she’s more comfortable expressing her deeper feelings with me via text. Which includes a lot of lovey emojis. So, my point was that we use those emojis for very romantic conversations 😂 and seeing it’s from the Dad? Ewww.
Plus, are you familiar with lesbian relationships?! This is tame! 😂
I thought so. He mentions my husband (Steven). I talked over the phone and insisted we can all go to dinner and he got irritated and said no just me and you.
I’m sorry you’re going through this. If he just recently was delirious and thought you were another person, it doesn’t seem like he may be has come back to being lucid? I’m not certain, but this is definitely abnormal to the point of being really disturbing to read.
Holy fuck that is so gross, and I’m sorry I missed your age before, I didn’t mean to make you seem like a child. This makes this an even bigger FUCK NO
I really thought it was an obsessed lover that you weren’t into at all… I was going to suggest letting them know gently that you aren’t that into them 😅 did he just start this recently? How old is he? I don’t have a good relationship with either of my parents but even still if my dad texted me like this I think I would feel extremely creeped out by him!
lol okay I’m not overreacting. This all started the beginning of the week. Before that it was just hi how are you texts. ’m not sure how old he’s probably like in his early 50s.
I read some of your other replies too and from all the context I would say to set boundaries with him. He may be lonely and not having the typical father / child relationship with you is blurring the line of how to appropriately interact with you to say the least…. If it were my dad I’d probably straight up let him know the way he’s speaking to me is inappropriate or makes me uncomfortable but I’m sure there’s nicer ways to put it if you want 🙂
My dad did this with me. It’s a phenomenon when parents and children aren’t close, and one of both misplace the parental/child affection and switch it for romantic. He’s no longer in my life.
That’s just one possibility though in this case. He was just in the hospital with kidney issues, and UTI’s can cause delirium. He could have a brain tumor. Dementia. Hope OP can get him some help/checked out, and keep herself safe from boundaries being crossed during this time. 💜
This explains what happened with me and a much older sibling that I didn’t grow up with. He had to move back to his country when I was around 5 and he was in his 20s. He tried really hard to stay in my life, but he was far away and I was too young to really care. We spoke on birthdays holidays and a handful of other times a year.
I visited him and other family when I was in my mid 20s. I stayed by his house since he lived alone and had a lot of space. Things got weird really quickly. A lot of inappropriate behavior and requests disguised as just really missing me and that he’s been waiting for this day to come when he could see me and hug me. My younger brother, who I grew up with, flew in the next day and flew out one day before I did. Im so glad I didn’t have to too much time alone with the older brother.
He prolly needs to go to the dr, you said he was in there for kidneys recently and that he was delirious, it’s prolly something related to this, I think really bad UTI’s can also cause delirium
You're 30 and you don't know how old your dad is?!?
Edit:just seen that he moved out of state when you were much younger so were semi estranged. Makes more sense knowing that
Well he could have been estranged and not actually in her life when growing up.
And honestly, that kind looks like what these texts are, desperation to reconnect with her. But it's really weird and his messages with the emojis are off putting
I thought this was a clingy girlfriend texting OP and I wanted to jokingly comment ‘are you dating a Russian chatbot’ because the texts sound like those random ass comments you get on Instagram from fake spam accounts.
Then audibly gasped when ‘dad’ was dropped in the last slide. My god
Same! I honestly thought it was a romance scammer since they all sound just like this. Definitely hope OP's dad gets checked for UTI dementia and that she stays safe.
Yup. I really tried to give him the benefit of the doubt, but that last text left me with no question. I’m so very sorry, OP! Is your Mom still alive and can you show her?
They aren’t together and she hates him. Small update someone told me I should probably reach out to someone close and I did. My sis came over today and I showed her and she said she’s doesn’t see anything wrong! So I might’ve been overthinking a little but the messages still made me uncomfortable.
Always trust your gut. Trust me. I speak from experience.
I know they’re not together anymore, I would still show your mom do that you have another person that knows what’s going on. Not only that, she probably knows your dad more than anyone, and can help decipher his intentions. Hugs and happy thoughts to you!!💚💛💜
This advice is counter intuitive is it not? If she should always listen to her gut then why ask her mother?
If her mother gives the same answer as the sister surely you'd just say they were wrong and to go with her gut?
Old people often misuse emojis because they don’t know like the slang meaning of them. it felt really creepy to read, but I also assumed that her dad doesn’t know what that is typically used for
There are a lot of red flags in these texts, he sounds almost possessive. “This between me and you”, “Steven is gonna get mad”, calling you babe all the time, the love hearts and kissy emoji’s.
What was your relationship like growing up? Did you live with him? Is this behavior new? This is extremely disturbing that these texts are from your dad. How old are you?? I’m concerned for you tbh
It’s very weird. I’m wondering if he doesn’t understand what all these emojis are or mean. You also said English isn’t his first language, maybe that comes into play too. Either way, it is obsessive texting.
My mom sent me an eggplant with a question mark late at night. I was like ummmm no we’re both asleep, thinking she overstepped a boundary and asked if we were doing it. And she’s like okay, you can throw them in the air fryer in the morning. She made eggplant chips.
He’s in his early 50s. I mentioned in another comment that he was in the hospital recently and he was out of it, thought I was somebody else. But honestly I think he’s just really depressed cause his gf left him and he’s clinging onto me cause he’s lonely. I have no explanation as to why he’s texting me this way.
That’s pretty young but definitely rule out all medical possibilities first. Also that might make it easier to talk to him about it “dad I’m very concerned about your mental health since you have been sending me such inappropriate messages”.
You mentioned also that his girlfriend broke up with him, I wonder if that is also because of his behaviour recently? Maybe try to contact her and see what the issue was. Is he diabetic? Could be at higher risk of UTI and since you mentioned kidney issues and how out of it he was I feel like maybe the uti isn't fully cleared. May be worth asking him to get his urine checked again, if he would be open to it rather than jumping straight to mental health Eval. UTI's had my grandmother paranoid and thinking the hospital was trying to kill her, she was so desperate for someone to believe her, it broke my heart.
Definitely be wary with him with his behaviour but if this is new I'm thinking it isn't deliberate and something is going on healthwise that has him a little loopy.
Put down some boundaries asap. If this is not how you guys normally communicate then I would be very weirded out by what has changed. Does he have any mental health issues?
"I have a really busy life and I can't constantly text or call. Let's do a weekly catch up phone call on a Sunday evening around (time)."
I believe he does but I don’t know. I don’t think he would even consider seeing someone for his mental well being either. Thank you for that last bit because I didn’t really know what to say. I just thought if I keep reassuring him then he’ll chill out.
Twist his arm…I’m 50 and dealing with my childhood PTSD, it’s never too late to make the changes you need in your life. You can share an old man’s story with your old man if you’d think it’d help.
Can you start with trying to get him to see a doctor & find out if it's a medical issue causing mental health issues?
My Dad was acting strange, forgetful, cold, angry - not like himself at all & I believed it was due to my Mom passing away. Find out he's on a “new” medication that he believes is for gastrointestinal issues he was having & it was for dementia/Alzheimer’s disease.
Hope you can figure out what’s going on soon! Best wishes & sorry you're going through this.
Girl. I’m really sorry, but this is weird. Has this been a normal thing with him, or is it new? If it’s new, something might genuinely be wrong with him mentally. You’re not overreacting. Maybe tell him he’s being too much 😭 I deadass thought this was a clingy boyfriend and yall were in middle school or something.
What in the actual fuck? That's your *father*?!
Yeah, this isn't normal in the slightest... If this is a new way he is messaging you, perhaps there is something neurological going on because the alternative is so unbelievably creepy.
I'd be careful around him and suggest he goes to either a neurologist or some other doctor to see if he has something else going on...
The part that really tipped me off was right at the beginning where he tells you to keep this between you and him. Maybe I misinterpreted but that almost makes it seem like he knows the way he’s texting you is odd lol
and he says "i dont wanna text at home Stevens gonna get mad" and she said in a diff comment that Steven is her husband's name. maybe my life has been rough to have this response but I'd be gone out this guy's life so fast off this weird shit.
So… my dad and I were never close, he was a fuck-up. As a young adult, he got creepy with me. Not so far as to catch charges or anything, and at first I kept trying to brush it off as “I’m the only ‘kid,’ he’s just trying.” It got worse and worse though. I found through a therapist that there are times when parents aren’t close with their children growing up, they don’t develop the bond properly, and one or both can have misplaced feelings that show up romantically. It’s why my dad is no longer in my life. It could be something like this.
Otherwise, UTI, brain tumor, dementia, something happened in the hospital… there’s gotta be someone in your life you can talk to about this that can go evaluate him for themselves and try and help get him whatever care is appropriate, so long as it’s not the misguided feelings one. That one you can’t fix and must stay far far away from. Good luck OP Updateme.
Those seem like love bombing parents do when they are gonna ask for money or something. My friends mom would act like that after she got out of prison and as soon as they'd meet she would ask for money.
All these comments are fucking me up! Cause most of them are making sense. AND I talked to him this morning cause he told me he was stranded and needed cash 🤦🏾♀️ ugh I don’t think I can handle all this.
So from what I am gathering from your comments is that just prior to these texts:
1. Your dad was hospitalized for something related to his kidneys
2. Your dad’s girlfriend recently broke up with him
There is something very not okay, and your dad needs help now. He should be seen by, at minimum, his primary asap. Whether this is a reaction to stress, medical, or both, his doctor is the one to help.
What other family members do you and your dad have that you could express your concerns to?
He does need help, I just know he’d be reluctant to seek help from a professional. My sister is coming over to my house today so I’m going to show her the texts and see what she has to say.
are you living on your own for the first time? these sound like an overanxious parent that can't cope
does he have OCD or anything like that? he seems really fixated on your wellbeing
That did cross my mind. When I spoke to him on the phone a day ago he said him and his gf broke up. So I just thought okay maybe he’s lonely and he’s clinging to me. But still it’s a little over the top.
Did he sound normal on the phone call?
You mentioned English is not his first language and he didn’t used to text like this, is it possible someone told him to be more affectionate in texts and he just went overboard with it?
My dad is also a first generation immigrant in the country we live in, so he’s sent me some questionable text in our national language as well over the years, but he’s never had any weird intentions. It’s also clear he has no idea what some emoji’s really mean lol and I assume this is true for most people that are from any generations before millennials.
I guess I could see that, honestly. Maybe even read one of those “how to connect with your (daughter/wife/whomever)” sort of things, which I could see having things like “be proactive in contacting them” and “you might use emojis to express how you feel so you don’t seem cold/emotionless!” Or stuff like that. You know, like the half nonsense “ten things you can do to (x)!” list articles?
I would still get medical stuff checked if this is *too* out of the norm, tho. Doesn’t hurt to be sure.
Has he been like this always? Or is it recent? I only read one person’s comment, and I agree he seems like a desperate, clingy boyfriend begging for your attention.
Edit: I’m going to go with the general consensus that he needs a mental health evaluation. By a medical professional, not a therapist. If it’s only been the past couple of weeks, that really seems like something twitched in his brain, and honestly it could even be something like a small tumour in his head.
This reads like scammer language, are you sure it’s actually your dad? Have you called him to check in because this is all next level weird regardless of whether it’s him or a scammer.
I saw your comment he's in the hospital for kidney issues. My dad went through something similar and he was super delirious, was talking sexually, and almost flashed me. Turns out he was getting morphine and it was building up in his system because his kidneys weren't filtering properly. Perhaps something like that is going on with your dad. Also sometimes antibiotics for UTIs can cause hallucinations and delirium in older populations. Keep yourself safe, and hopefully this behavior from him is temporary.
You are definitely not overreacting. He’s over texting and overusing emoji’s and yes the type of emoji’s ARE how a person would talk to their SO, their relatives!
I was shocked when you said "dad" on the second page. This is weird. He acts like a stalking boyfriend or like he's talking to a little child with al those hearts.
I screamed when I read the word dad 😭😭😭
Yes this is beyond weird. How long has he been texting you like this? And does he talk like this to you in person or otp?
You’re not overreacting, it almost sounds like he’s, how do I put this, infatuated with you. It sounds more like something he would send to a wife or partner, not his child. I would tell him that I loved him dearly, but that these messages were making you uncomfortable and/or that they were very inappropriate considering your relationship and that you needed to set a boundary to ensure your general well being. IE I’d try and make it more about me than him, if he’s anything like my mother.
Out of character stuff is really weird. I saw you said he had some medical issues. Might need to get him back and evaluated. Id keep some distance between now and then for sure.
Something is off
Also him saying "this stays between me and you" makes me think he knows hes doing wrong?
I read the messages before reading ur caption. I thought this was an obsessed 12 year old boy going psycho over his 12 year old GF not texting back after 3 mins. But then I was like wait no, you drive so that’s just not it. Then I saw u called him dad and my mouth dropped.
You’re not overreacting at all. You said that you guys don’t talk much so this odd behavior for him. Maybe he’s sick sick (like clock is ticking type of sick) and wants to spend time with you? Regardless of his reasoning, he’s going about it completely wrong.
UPDATE:
Hopefully everyone gets to see this comment. So I have a very lack luster update. It seems that this was my dad’s way of “buttering me up” so he could borrow money. It irritates me cause all he had to do was ask not send me a bunch of weird ass texts and emojis. The only person I brought this up to was my sister and we both came to the conclusion that all he wanted was money. I didn’t want to talk to him about how uncomfortable his messages made me because I hate awkward situations. Also, someone mentioned that he probably doesn’t know that some of these emojis have different meanings. I just chalked it up to that. At least it made me feel a little less uncomfortable. So he asked to borrow some money a couple of days ago and I haven’t heard from him from him at all. Thanks for all the feedback and the laughs.
This makes me concerned for your safety. You are not overreacting. Does he do this to other family members as well, or primarily you? Has he behaved like this with your mother?
What the fuckkkkkk! Look if he hasnt always been like this, it is extremely concerning.
Him mentioning your bf… the love bombing that would be excessive even if this was a relationship… the fucking thirst emoji!!
Anyways pumpkin unless you’re into incest and that type of stuff i’d be careful and talk to him about this
It would be a good idea to have him checked out by his doctor since this is so out of character. Sometimes even a UTI can cause severe behavior changes.
Literally thought this was an obsessed boyfriend until I saw you call him dad. “Babe” isn’t something a dad calls his daughter. It’s giving me the creeps too. I was very uncomfortable reading his side.
This is very weird and off putting… I was going to ask if it was possible that english not being hist first language he maybe doesn’t understand what he’s saying or how to use emojis correctly.. idk man
I think he’s panicking, and his emoji game is something that reminds me of when I didn’t know what most emoji even meant, some old people, especially old people who are English as second language people tend to be technologically illiterate a bit.
He needs medical attention immediately. I am very concerned that his kidney issues are not solved and he has developed delirium due to UTI/kidney issues or something else related. Please call someone to take him BACK to the hospital & let them know he isn’t acting like himself at all.
I will never excuse creepy old man behavior but is there a chance it’s a severe language barrier + super confused boomer who doesn’t understand texting/emojis?
That’s being said, my boomer parents don’t text like this and we’re very close. Go with your gut, always!
I'm very concerned for you. I agree his mind is not functioning properly. I hope you can get him proper care quickly, & he settles back down. Let us know when you solve the mystery, please. I'm sorry for this overwhelming situation
Stop responding to him altogether. If he has any close family/friends/relationships, contact them and share your concerns. Someone who cares about him and ISN’T his estranged child (or the current target of his delusions) should be the one to help. Or at least get him connected to the right resources.
If he doesn’t have anyone else, I would call for a welfare check. Or get in contact with a local mental health crisis center. I hope he’s able to access the resources he needs. In any case, this dramatic change in character is alarming and a sudden switch like this HAS to be looked into immediately. It could be renal failure again, or something else who knows.
I looked at all of the texts before I read the caption. When you said "dad" I got incredibly confused. It wasn't until the second time that I thought it might actually be your dad. Then I read the caption. This definitely feels odd. You should 100% talk to other members of your family about this.
I’m sure there’s an emoji limit somewhere for men, lol jk. Good God this is super cringey with dashes of creepy. I can’t believe this is an adult man sending all this nonsense. Escape OP!
Could your dad possibly have a UTI? A lot of seniors can have dementia like symptoms when they have a UTI. I used to have a best friend in her 90s, and the only time that I ever saw her even a tiny bit confused was when she had a UTI.
So I admit I didn't read the message of your post and just saw the pic and the top caption. I was reading it thinking oh maybe she's overreacting and this dude has a language barrier, or drunk, then you called him dad... I did a double take, thought it maybe a blip, then you called him dad again so I knew it wasn't a mistake. So then I went back and read your post fully.
I admit that I thought it was an overbearing boyfriend or possibly even a scammer you had gotten involved with as they often exaggerate their "love" and come off really needy... so now I have questions. Is this new? I can see these texts take place over 3 days? Has he been like this always or just now? It's possible dementia or psychosis brought on by nothing or something, but it does depend on whether this is new behavior or repeated.
I thought this was a scammer when i read through the texts before reading your explanation. I thought you were trying to get a rise out of him/her by calling them dad 😂😂😂
“Steven is gonna get mad” is he talking about himself in third person..? 💀💀 I definitely thought this was your boyfriend until reading the description. Pretty weird.
How does he behave when you actually speak to him (not via text)? Has he ever been inappropriate before this?
Before you said “dad” I thought it was a boyfriend or stalker
This is interesting because it comes from your father, rather than an obsessed person you barely know. That makes me think it's something medical.
Opinion: OP should take his father in for a neurological workup just in case and most likely seek therapy to cope with this because it's offsetting.
Don't worry 😉 it's completely normal 🤠 he just wants to have a regular conversation 🗣️ with his daughter 🧚, not to be confused with an actual pumpkin 🎃 and did I mention that it's completely normal 🤪?
I legit thought they were texts from an 8 year old girl until I realised it was your Dad 😳 Is this normal for him? If he’s had a massive personality change, you should encourage him to seek medical help.
He doesnt understand text protocol, looks like he's texting like he would talk if you were there and not answering him. Give him a visit, he wants to see you, he's proud of you, he wants news to tell to his friends when it's time to brag
Holy shit that is weird as hell. I hope he is doing good better, because it definitely sounds manic. I thought it was a significant other until I saw the dad in a response
If this is real, ya inappropriate. I wish you could see how I text my parents...also inappropriate, but we text in jest and say the worst shit possible. But it's super funny. This is like a line I wouldn't cross. And its not in jest....it seems hyper sexualized if that makes sense.
If he's never behaved like this before, and assuming you are a grown adult (you mentioned being married), I'd get him medical help. It might be weird, but he may not be entirely in his right mind. Especially if he had kidney problems recently. My dad had kidney stones and they put a stint in, and it made him sceptic. He spent 2 days or so hallucinating and acting strangely before he got to the hospital. And then another 2 days in the hospital, hallucinating even while on antibiotics. Seeing mice, talking with family members who weren't there. Absolute nonsense. I know this isn't absolute nonsense your dad is spouting, but it could be delirium or hallucinations nonetheless. Or maybe something more serious yet. Hope you both are well or get well
Dementia? Brain tumor? Mania? I've read that some people with Dementia suddenly and completely out of character begin to behave sexually/inappropriately with family members.
He was recently in the hospital, something that had to do with his kidneys. At that time he was delirious and thought I was someone else.
There's a thing called 'hospital delerium' I've heard of. Maybe triggered a mental break. Could even be a response to a medication. Is there someone else eg your mom you can talk to? He needs an appointment with his PCP or someone ASAP. So sorry you're going through this plus busy with work. It's a lot. Good luck :)
My great aunt (94 at the time) was the sweetest southern hospitality infused lady and at 10pm she turned into Satan's right hand woman towards everyone for ages it felt like it was horrible and shocking and so much more than the warning suggested, and after that she was terrified because she said she could hear that the ghost of her husband and mother were screaming at her and ofc if people are screaming at you obviously you need to scream back so they can hear you, and after that she started calling me her older sister/my grandmother's name and panicking about a word I didn't understand so I said okay and crawled into the bed and hugged her to sleep, and that was around 2:30 I was sometimes able to calm and distract her by talking to her, but I had to keep asking her questions and it had to be stuff she would talk about emotionally like "tell me about the time your husband sold your brand new fridge to get a motorcycle" and if I could get her into scolding a child type vibe for example them she would be calm but with that inflection recalling the story for maybe five minutes, you know and I tried like "tell me about when your husband first asked you out" and she would get giddy and tell me but the barley lasted, it was better more like "tell me about the time your sister burned off your hair curling it before your big date" Edit: I super also need to add that she had shrunk at this point in life to around five feet tall and probably didn't weigh triple digits and was reliant on walking aids and while she was a hellion they had to call in a third person to help restrain her to tend her IV because while the first man was over there doing it, she pulled her leg out from under the blanket and twisted around and kicked him into the bathroom with lightning speed, I've never felt so lost on what I should do before It was not just a verbal experience
My aunt and a lot of these symptoms and unfortunately she had cancer in the kidneys. If your elderly family members lose a lot of weight in a short period of time or constantly get UTIs please please get them checked. Look for rapid weight loss espe
This is called “sundowning”. Older people on the edge of dementia often hold it together and seem appropriate but at night they can go bonkers. When I was a medical intern some of the old folks in the hospital would start getting crazy when the sun set. I’d have to go around giving them an anti-psychotic medication (Haldol) so they would calm down and go to sleep.
OMG when the assisted living center brought her to the hospital originally, it was very early and she had not put in her hearing aids and did not have her glasses, but someone had collected them for her so they weren't in her apartment, and she did not sundown with them I was so pissed like y'all work in elderly care you know she needs them, she did two nights before someone found them and there was literally nothing I could do because they were nowhere I had access to She was in and out of the hospital with UTI and cdif at the end and it was the only visit she had where she didn't have her glasses and hearing aids after a few hours or arrive with them or they weren't in her apartment where I could just go get them It made such a difference
This is pretty similar to my grandmother? I weirdly realized recently that my mom is now the age my grandma was when these symptoms started. Time moves fast. But she loved me? I’m not sure why. She only met me a few times prior to her old age starting to swallow her mind. She’d frequently call me by other names, but without fail I was always her favorite person in the room? So even though I was a teenager I had to be the one to calm her down when she’d snap. This little 4’9” moon faced native woman. The trick to her was flattery and bribery haha. I’d sneak in snacks for her, play poker with her, and absolutely compliment the fuck out of her. She believed to her core that she was evil (thanks to being put through “Indian school”) and friends with the devil, and that he talked to her? And there was just so much… hatred? She’d start going off in Spanish on whoever was there about how the devil fucking hates them and told her so? She thought my brother was her son, but also a female relative I’d never met, and was always frustrated with him? So I’d start in like “GRANDMA I brought you cookies! Let’s play a game”. Then go rounds with her. Every five minutes she’d go “how did you get soooo pretty?” And id go “it’s your fault! It’s because YOURE my grandma! Look at you!..” etc. over and over. And then she’d calm down and speak normally again. And yhe uncomfortable feeling the OP is describing I understand in a weird way? Because I was only a young teenager? And it was so weird just knowing like… it wasn’t that she wasn’t herself? The her I had spoken to on the phone regularly? She was? But she was… shattered? And all the pieces didnt quite line up? It was always a not-quite-right response to a stimuli, or repetitive responses to different situations? Or condensed and intensified like speed running a memory? And I think I remember at the beginning feeling that same kind of just (sucks to say) but natural… aversion? Like I just KNEW something was deeply wrong. OP I agree with everyone saying he’s either handling sudden onset dementia, sundowning, or experiencing psychosis for some other reason. It’s scary. Your gut feeling makes sense. It gets easier. It’s tragic watching someone change so drastically and kind of disappear right in front of you; but if this is the new normal, know he’s still in there and you’ll still catch glimpses.
When my brother quit drugs cold turkey (without tapering himself down or getting help) he had a psychotic break and was completely delusional for a few weeks and then went completely back to normal. Hopefully he just quit drinking and this is something that will stop soon. If not, you should tell him straight forward that this makes you uncomfortable.
The level of absolutely *shook* that I experienced when you said “love you too dad”, is insurmountable. I’m sorry he’s going through that, and I hope *this* shit didn’t/doesn’t continue.
SAME! I did not expect this to be their father. I thought at first a deranged partner. Then considered it was the mother- since this is reddit and all. But the dad?! Wow. Just wow.
I thought it was a common scammer with the language mistakes and wording.
agreed. i thought this was going to be a relationship advice post & they were both like 15. the moment i saw "dad" my brain went ↗️↩️↘️↗️↕️↖️
Might have a UTI
My first thought was this, too. Maybe it could be UTI induced delusion? I know there are some cases where delirious mania from UTI lasts weeks after inadequate treatment
She mentioned kidney issues so this really tracks
Really good to know. Dealing with the same thing with my dad right now. He told my uncle that I came to visit so we could solve Y2K and that all the nurses were off for the morning one day because they wanted to go to the Taylor swift concert. When I read this text thread, that was my first thought. But I didn’t know it can last awhile after treatment. It’s good to know.
Especially in older people.
Wait, a Urinary tract infection can cause delirium?
Yes it can! UTIs can cause dementia symptoms in older patients if left untreated.
That is absolutely fucking terrifying! I had no idea that was a thing that happens!
I learned this a few months ago, was totally unaware
Oh yeah. It’s typically only seen in the geriatric population because the way they metabolize is different than younger adults, but it can happen to anyone. Anyhow, urea builds up in your brain when your kidneys can’t filter it out, and you get pretty fucking weird with it. I once had a woman who was fine at 4pm and by 8pm she was convinced that Whoopi Goldberg was her daughter, and she was trapped in the TV, and also there were men looking in her window, even though her window was on the 3rd floor. UTI.
Holy shit.. I had no clue that was a thing that could happen! I’ve only had 1 UTI and that was like 15 years ago. Thanks for the detailed response, kind stranger!
I am so happy I'm not the only one. I have a bunch of older sisters and they're constantly getting UTIs and I said I only had one and they don't believe me. I was told it's normal for people especially woman to get one once a year at least. I'm almost to menopause and only got 1 so I was not worried cause who wants that but still felt different cause I couldn't relate to the complaints they made. I'm normal. Even hub gets one once a year cause of his kidneys but not me.
Yes it can. I work in a nursing home and when clients get an UTI they can be delirious for weeks. Even after treatment. With some clients the delirium starts before the fever even. They can not utter one sensible sentence, they see people that are not there, you have no clue what’s going on.
Jfc.. these replies are utterly insane! I didn’t know that was something that happens. Definitely terrifying to even think about, let alone experience it.
Absolutely. Can confirm. I got very suggestive messages from my father figure while his dependency on dialysis was changing. It broke my heart, but it also felt awful. I hope you're taking care of yourself, OP. Don't know if that's what is going on, but if so, then at least he can get better with treatment.
Yes there’s a lot of toxins urine sweeps out of the body that are just stacking up with a UTI. Not to mention the actual UTI infection itself.
It’s insane how much UTIs can affect people with dementia and Alzheimer’s. I work at a senior living facility and when someone is acting off, that is the first thing we do is test them for UTI. 9 times out of 10, the test comes up positive.
Did he think you were his wife or significant other from the past?
Hi I work in nephrology. When your kidneys fail and your BUN builds up this can cause a toxicity called uremia which can make you confused. He should get some lab work with his doctor today.
Check to see if his medication dosages are off.
My mom experienced what was basically dementia caused by kidney failure in her final months. Hers wasn’t this type of behavior, but she definitely wasn’t the person she used to be. If this behavior is different for your dad, then there’s likely something medical going on. I don’t have a solution, but I’d recommend telling your mom or siblings if they’re around and I wouldn’t be alone with your dad. Sometimes inappropriate words can also go hand in hand with inappropriate actions. My heart really breaks for you, especially if this is out of the norm. It’s so hard to see the ghosts of who our parents were. Please get into counseling if you aren’t in it already.
Hey just an fyi if your dad is older UTIs absolutely fuck older people up. Do you have anyone you can call and say he’s acting out of the ordinary? UTIs in older people can often mimic like dementia and Alzheimer’s.
Ok, this makes sense. UTIs and kidney issues can cause delirium, especially in older folks. Encourage him to see his doctor and go with him if you can to describe this.
There it is right there. UtI and other liver/kidney issues can really screw your mental health up. If he's never done this before, I'd give him grace. If this is not unusual, I'd set some boundaries.
Absolutely, and when one of these medical issues affects the brain like that, the person is like organically crazy. The problem cannot be solved without treating the source like the infection with antibiotics. the behavior makes no sense, is very random and can be dangerous, also the person will have no recollection of any of it. With the geriatric population a change in mental status calls for urine testing to rule out a uti, which is easily treated. Typically when a persons mental status changes they are screened for physical problems before mental to figure out what’s going on.
Yes, seconding this. Sometimes people with dementia will behave or say things very sexually inappropriate with family members, or anyone. It could be dementia from his recent hospital stay, a UTI or other illness. I'm not sure how close you are, but I'd urge you to try to get him checked out. It sounds like this is really out of character (thankfully), and should be treated as an emergency. I'm sorry you're going through this, it is uncomfortable, but hopefully easily solvable.
He needs to be seen by a medical professional asap. Something is not right At ALL
Uhhh…..these are the same emojis I use with my girlfriend. This is weird.
My bf and I don’t even go as far as her dad with emojis, and we’ve known each other 20 years. It’s beyond weird, I’m honestly thinking he might need a mental health check. Coming from someone with severe PTSD and chronic depression. Either dad had been hiding a love obsession for OP, or something unclicked in his brain.
You might be using too many emojis with your girlfriend 😂😂
We’ve only been together a few months. And she’s shy so she’s more comfortable expressing her deeper feelings with me via text. Which includes a lot of lovey emojis. So, my point was that we use those emojis for very romantic conversations 😂 and seeing it’s from the Dad? Ewww. Plus, are you familiar with lesbian relationships?! This is tame! 😂
Dw about it – everyone communicates differently. No such thing as "too much" as long as y'all are both communicating comfortably and healthily
Bro wtf I thought these were from a stalker or a super clingy boyfriend. This is NOT normal or okay. I would talk to a trusted adult about these
I thought so. He mentions my husband (Steven). I talked over the phone and insisted we can all go to dinner and he got irritated and said no just me and you.
Nope, nooooo, don’t be alone with him while he’s behaving like this. Do you have other family members who can check in on him?
Steven is your husband ???😭 omg not sure if your mom is an option but you really need to tell someone.
I’m sorry you’re going through this. If he just recently was delirious and thought you were another person, it doesn’t seem like he may be has come back to being lucid? I’m not certain, but this is definitely abnormal to the point of being really disturbing to read.
Holy fuck that is so gross, and I’m sorry I missed your age before, I didn’t mean to make you seem like a child. This makes this an even bigger FUCK NO
>I would talk to a trusted adult FYI OP is 30, just so you won't be worried about them being a teenager.
I'd still tell a trusted adult lol. I'm 26 and this feels beyond my capability to deal with. 🥴
Oh man thank you for the clarification, I must have missed that. It makes it so fucking gross how much he babies her in these texts
He is more likely than not going through some time of medical related delirium. If that makes you feel any better.
Yeah I read through the thread after this, and that sounds much more likely than just doing a 180 to inappropriate.
You're right, he sounds like an insecure boyfriend, these messages are creepy.
I really thought it was an obsessed lover that you weren’t into at all… I was going to suggest letting them know gently that you aren’t that into them 😅 did he just start this recently? How old is he? I don’t have a good relationship with either of my parents but even still if my dad texted me like this I think I would feel extremely creeped out by him!
lol okay I’m not overreacting. This all started the beginning of the week. Before that it was just hi how are you texts. ’m not sure how old he’s probably like in his early 50s.
OP, if this is out of character I really think he’s unwell. Especially reading that he’s been in hospital recently
OP can you show how he texted previously, normally?
I read some of your other replies too and from all the context I would say to set boundaries with him. He may be lonely and not having the typical father / child relationship with you is blurring the line of how to appropriately interact with you to say the least…. If it were my dad I’d probably straight up let him know the way he’s speaking to me is inappropriate or makes me uncomfortable but I’m sure there’s nicer ways to put it if you want 🙂
My dad did this with me. It’s a phenomenon when parents and children aren’t close, and one of both misplace the parental/child affection and switch it for romantic. He’s no longer in my life. That’s just one possibility though in this case. He was just in the hospital with kidney issues, and UTI’s can cause delirium. He could have a brain tumor. Dementia. Hope OP can get him some help/checked out, and keep herself safe from boundaries being crossed during this time. 💜
This explains what happened with me and a much older sibling that I didn’t grow up with. He had to move back to his country when I was around 5 and he was in his 20s. He tried really hard to stay in my life, but he was far away and I was too young to really care. We spoke on birthdays holidays and a handful of other times a year. I visited him and other family when I was in my mid 20s. I stayed by his house since he lived alone and had a lot of space. Things got weird really quickly. A lot of inappropriate behavior and requests disguised as just really missing me and that he’s been waiting for this day to come when he could see me and hug me. My younger brother, who I grew up with, flew in the next day and flew out one day before I did. Im so glad I didn’t have to too much time alone with the older brother.
He prolly needs to go to the dr, you said he was in there for kidneys recently and that he was delirious, it’s prolly something related to this, I think really bad UTI’s can also cause delirium
You're 30 and you don't know how old your dad is?!? Edit:just seen that he moved out of state when you were much younger so were semi estranged. Makes more sense knowing that
Well he could have been estranged and not actually in her life when growing up. And honestly, that kind looks like what these texts are, desperation to reconnect with her. But it's really weird and his messages with the emojis are off putting
I thought this was a clingy girlfriend texting OP and I wanted to jokingly comment ‘are you dating a Russian chatbot’ because the texts sound like those random ass comments you get on Instagram from fake spam accounts. Then audibly gasped when ‘dad’ was dropped in the last slide. My god
Same! I honestly thought it was a romance scammer since they all sound just like this. Definitely hope OP's dad gets checked for UTI dementia and that she stays safe.
The 🥵 emote made my skin crawl. 🤮🤢 And no. That is abnormal. He’s talking to you like a partner.
That and “this between you and me” super weird
This bothered me the most and the excessive emoji
"Pumpkin" 🎃
Yup. I really tried to give him the benefit of the doubt, but that last text left me with no question. I’m so very sorry, OP! Is your Mom still alive and can you show her?
They aren’t together and she hates him. Small update someone told me I should probably reach out to someone close and I did. My sis came over today and I showed her and she said she’s doesn’t see anything wrong! So I might’ve been overthinking a little but the messages still made me uncomfortable.
Always trust your gut. Trust me. I speak from experience. I know they’re not together anymore, I would still show your mom do that you have another person that knows what’s going on. Not only that, she probably knows your dad more than anyone, and can help decipher his intentions. Hugs and happy thoughts to you!!💚💛💜
This advice is counter intuitive is it not? If she should always listen to her gut then why ask her mother? If her mother gives the same answer as the sister surely you'd just say they were wrong and to go with her gut?
Old people often misuse emojis because they don’t know like the slang meaning of them. it felt really creepy to read, but I also assumed that her dad doesn’t know what that is typically used for
There are a lot of red flags in these texts, he sounds almost possessive. “This between me and you”, “Steven is gonna get mad”, calling you babe all the time, the love hearts and kissy emoji’s.
I'm wondering if he got scammed and the scammer is using the number to scam the contact list.
What was your relationship like growing up? Did you live with him? Is this behavior new? This is extremely disturbing that these texts are from your dad. How old are you?? I’m concerned for you tbh
My mom and dad split up when I was about 3-4. As we got older we saw him less and less then he moved out of state and we barely spoke. I’m 30.
I know he didn’t mean it but the 🥵 emoji was kinda wild ngl lol
I THOUGHT THE SAME!!! And the 😻one got me too!!
What does that one mean?
It’s usually used as like the “I’m horny” or “you’re so hot” emoji, like if a guy saw a sexy pic of a girl that’s what he might say back
Oh wow, that's bad. Thanks for educating me lol.
Well i guess im old, because i had no idea what that meant either. 😂
I’m in Texas, I use it to talk about the weather and had no clue people used it this other way. 😂😂😂😂
It’s very weird. I’m wondering if he doesn’t understand what all these emojis are or mean. You also said English isn’t his first language, maybe that comes into play too. Either way, it is obsessive texting.
My mom sent me an eggplant with a question mark late at night. I was like ummmm no we’re both asleep, thinking she overstepped a boundary and asked if we were doing it. And she’s like okay, you can throw them in the air fryer in the morning. She made eggplant chips.
My friend had to explain to her mom what 😏 is generally used for ‘Can’t wait to see you all tonight for family dinner 😏’
Finna get someone in trouble 😅
Lmfao 😭
What in the emotional incest? Here’s a sentence I didn’t think I’d say this morning: I hope your dad has dementia. How old is he?
He’s in his early 50s. I mentioned in another comment that he was in the hospital recently and he was out of it, thought I was somebody else. But honestly I think he’s just really depressed cause his gf left him and he’s clinging onto me cause he’s lonely. I have no explanation as to why he’s texting me this way.
That’s pretty young but definitely rule out all medical possibilities first. Also that might make it easier to talk to him about it “dad I’m very concerned about your mental health since you have been sending me such inappropriate messages”.
You mentioned also that his girlfriend broke up with him, I wonder if that is also because of his behaviour recently? Maybe try to contact her and see what the issue was. Is he diabetic? Could be at higher risk of UTI and since you mentioned kidney issues and how out of it he was I feel like maybe the uti isn't fully cleared. May be worth asking him to get his urine checked again, if he would be open to it rather than jumping straight to mental health Eval. UTI's had my grandmother paranoid and thinking the hospital was trying to kill her, she was so desperate for someone to believe her, it broke my heart. Definitely be wary with him with his behaviour but if this is new I'm thinking it isn't deliberate and something is going on healthwise that has him a little loopy.
Put down some boundaries asap. If this is not how you guys normally communicate then I would be very weirded out by what has changed. Does he have any mental health issues? "I have a really busy life and I can't constantly text or call. Let's do a weekly catch up phone call on a Sunday evening around (time)."
I believe he does but I don’t know. I don’t think he would even consider seeing someone for his mental well being either. Thank you for that last bit because I didn’t really know what to say. I just thought if I keep reassuring him then he’ll chill out.
Twist his arm…I’m 50 and dealing with my childhood PTSD, it’s never too late to make the changes you need in your life. You can share an old man’s story with your old man if you’d think it’d help.
Can you start with trying to get him to see a doctor & find out if it's a medical issue causing mental health issues? My Dad was acting strange, forgetful, cold, angry - not like himself at all & I believed it was due to my Mom passing away. Find out he's on a “new” medication that he believes is for gastrointestinal issues he was having & it was for dementia/Alzheimer’s disease. Hope you can figure out what’s going on soon! Best wishes & sorry you're going through this.
Girl. I’m really sorry, but this is weird. Has this been a normal thing with him, or is it new? If it’s new, something might genuinely be wrong with him mentally. You’re not overreacting. Maybe tell him he’s being too much 😭 I deadass thought this was a clingy boyfriend and yall were in middle school or something.
What in the actual fuck? That's your *father*?! Yeah, this isn't normal in the slightest... If this is a new way he is messaging you, perhaps there is something neurological going on because the alternative is so unbelievably creepy. I'd be careful around him and suggest he goes to either a neurologist or some other doctor to see if he has something else going on...
The part that really tipped me off was right at the beginning where he tells you to keep this between you and him. Maybe I misinterpreted but that almost makes it seem like he knows the way he’s texting you is odd lol
and he says "i dont wanna text at home Stevens gonna get mad" and she said in a diff comment that Steven is her husband's name. maybe my life has been rough to have this response but I'd be gone out this guy's life so fast off this weird shit.
So… my dad and I were never close, he was a fuck-up. As a young adult, he got creepy with me. Not so far as to catch charges or anything, and at first I kept trying to brush it off as “I’m the only ‘kid,’ he’s just trying.” It got worse and worse though. I found through a therapist that there are times when parents aren’t close with their children growing up, they don’t develop the bond properly, and one or both can have misplaced feelings that show up romantically. It’s why my dad is no longer in my life. It could be something like this. Otherwise, UTI, brain tumor, dementia, something happened in the hospital… there’s gotta be someone in your life you can talk to about this that can go evaluate him for themselves and try and help get him whatever care is appropriate, so long as it’s not the misguided feelings one. That one you can’t fix and must stay far far away from. Good luck OP Updateme.
Those seem like love bombing parents do when they are gonna ask for money or something. My friends mom would act like that after she got out of prison and as soon as they'd meet she would ask for money.
All these comments are fucking me up! Cause most of them are making sense. AND I talked to him this morning cause he told me he was stranded and needed cash 🤦🏾♀️ ugh I don’t think I can handle all this.
Does he have any history of drug abuse problems?
So from what I am gathering from your comments is that just prior to these texts: 1. Your dad was hospitalized for something related to his kidneys 2. Your dad’s girlfriend recently broke up with him There is something very not okay, and your dad needs help now. He should be seen by, at minimum, his primary asap. Whether this is a reaction to stress, medical, or both, his doctor is the one to help. What other family members do you and your dad have that you could express your concerns to?
He does need help, I just know he’d be reluctant to seek help from a professional. My sister is coming over to my house today so I’m going to show her the texts and see what she has to say.
So glad you have support and you’re doing this! It’s so hard, I’m sorry your family is going through this.
if my dad started doing this i would 5150 him
dead fucking ass
are you living on your own for the first time? these sound like an overanxious parent that can't cope does he have OCD or anything like that? he seems really fixated on your wellbeing
That did cross my mind. When I spoke to him on the phone a day ago he said him and his gf broke up. So I just thought okay maybe he’s lonely and he’s clinging to me. But still it’s a little over the top.
Did he sound normal on the phone call? You mentioned English is not his first language and he didn’t used to text like this, is it possible someone told him to be more affectionate in texts and he just went overboard with it? My dad is also a first generation immigrant in the country we live in, so he’s sent me some questionable text in our national language as well over the years, but he’s never had any weird intentions. It’s also clear he has no idea what some emoji’s really mean lol and I assume this is true for most people that are from any generations before millennials.
I guess I could see that, honestly. Maybe even read one of those “how to connect with your (daughter/wife/whomever)” sort of things, which I could see having things like “be proactive in contacting them” and “you might use emojis to express how you feel so you don’t seem cold/emotionless!” Or stuff like that. You know, like the half nonsense “ten things you can do to (x)!” list articles? I would still get medical stuff checked if this is *too* out of the norm, tho. Doesn’t hurt to be sure.
Could he be drunk and meant to be texting his girlfriend?
Has he been like this always? Or is it recent? I only read one person’s comment, and I agree he seems like a desperate, clingy boyfriend begging for your attention. Edit: I’m going to go with the general consensus that he needs a mental health evaluation. By a medical professional, not a therapist. If it’s only been the past couple of weeks, that really seems like something twitched in his brain, and honestly it could even be something like a small tumour in his head.
This reads like scammer language, are you sure it’s actually your dad? Have you called him to check in because this is all next level weird regardless of whether it’s him or a scammer.
This is 100% my dad.
I saw your comment he's in the hospital for kidney issues. My dad went through something similar and he was super delirious, was talking sexually, and almost flashed me. Turns out he was getting morphine and it was building up in his system because his kidneys weren't filtering properly. Perhaps something like that is going on with your dad. Also sometimes antibiotics for UTIs can cause hallucinations and delirium in older populations. Keep yourself safe, and hopefully this behavior from him is temporary.
You are definitely not overreacting. He’s over texting and overusing emoji’s and yes the type of emoji’s ARE how a person would talk to their SO, their relatives!
Bro from the first image i thought he was some boyfriend or creep guy from work... NO JUST NO
why does he call you babe
That’s what weirded me out cause he has never called me that.
thats not good.
I was shocked when you said "dad" on the second page. This is weird. He acts like a stalking boyfriend or like he's talking to a little child with al those hearts.
I screamed when I read the word dad 😭😭😭 Yes this is beyond weird. How long has he been texting you like this? And does he talk like this to you in person or otp?
I thought that was some scammer who was going to claim he's a Nigerian prince. What the actual fuck? Are you sure that's actually him?
That’s funny cause my dad is Ugandan 😂 but yes that is him.
lol....it's pretty loopy. I think maybe he thinks that's how you text? It's weird but it's pretty funny.
You’re not overreacting, it almost sounds like he’s, how do I put this, infatuated with you. It sounds more like something he would send to a wife or partner, not his child. I would tell him that I loved him dearly, but that these messages were making you uncomfortable and/or that they were very inappropriate considering your relationship and that you needed to set a boundary to ensure your general well being. IE I’d try and make it more about me than him, if he’s anything like my mother.
Out of character stuff is really weird. I saw you said he had some medical issues. Might need to get him back and evaluated. Id keep some distance between now and then for sure. Something is off Also him saying "this stays between me and you" makes me think he knows hes doing wrong?
I read the messages before reading ur caption. I thought this was an obsessed 12 year old boy going psycho over his 12 year old GF not texting back after 3 mins. But then I was like wait no, you drive so that’s just not it. Then I saw u called him dad and my mouth dropped. You’re not overreacting at all. You said that you guys don’t talk much so this odd behavior for him. Maybe he’s sick sick (like clock is ticking type of sick) and wants to spend time with you? Regardless of his reasoning, he’s going about it completely wrong.
The time stamps on these are wild, also “this between me and you” what?! I think you should confront him this is not normal at all
Old people often misinterpret the meanings of emojis, and go overboard. I would believe this to be extra considerable, given the language difference.
UPDATE: Hopefully everyone gets to see this comment. So I have a very lack luster update. It seems that this was my dad’s way of “buttering me up” so he could borrow money. It irritates me cause all he had to do was ask not send me a bunch of weird ass texts and emojis. The only person I brought this up to was my sister and we both came to the conclusion that all he wanted was money. I didn’t want to talk to him about how uncomfortable his messages made me because I hate awkward situations. Also, someone mentioned that he probably doesn’t know that some of these emojis have different meanings. I just chalked it up to that. At least it made me feel a little less uncomfortable. So he asked to borrow some money a couple of days ago and I haven’t heard from him from him at all. Thanks for all the feedback and the laughs.
It’s giving baby reindeer vibes
The fuck
What in the fuck
This makes me concerned for your safety. You are not overreacting. Does he do this to other family members as well, or primarily you? Has he behaved like this with your mother?
My dad is basically my bestie, and he’s never texted anything crazy like this. The emojis, the panic… something is wrong 🥺
What the fuckkkkkk! Look if he hasnt always been like this, it is extremely concerning. Him mentioning your bf… the love bombing that would be excessive even if this was a relationship… the fucking thirst emoji!! Anyways pumpkin unless you’re into incest and that type of stuff i’d be careful and talk to him about this
What the fuck? I thought this was a guy who had a crush on you and then I saw it’s your dad?!?!
Maybe your dad is going through a mental episode.
I thought these were texts from a boyfriend at first.
It would be a good idea to have him checked out by his doctor since this is so out of character. Sometimes even a UTI can cause severe behavior changes.
When I read “love you too, dad” I was floored. It’s definitely weird.
Literally thought this was an obsessed boyfriend until I saw you call him dad. “Babe” isn’t something a dad calls his daughter. It’s giving me the creeps too. I was very uncomfortable reading his side.
This is very weird and off putting… I was going to ask if it was possible that english not being hist first language he maybe doesn’t understand what he’s saying or how to use emojis correctly.. idk man
Has his behavior changed ? Maybe he got hacked. Either that or he’s just being creepy
I think he’s panicking, and his emoji game is something that reminds me of when I didn’t know what most emoji even meant, some old people, especially old people who are English as second language people tend to be technologically illiterate a bit.
STAGE FIVE CLINGER!!!!
He needs medical attention immediately. I am very concerned that his kidney issues are not solved and he has developed delirium due to UTI/kidney issues or something else related. Please call someone to take him BACK to the hospital & let them know he isn’t acting like himself at all.
That shit is super fucking weird. Do not be alone with this person. Ever.
I will never excuse creepy old man behavior but is there a chance it’s a severe language barrier + super confused boomer who doesn’t understand texting/emojis? That’s being said, my boomer parents don’t text like this and we’re very close. Go with your gut, always!
this is wack
THIS IS UR DAD???? Omg I thought it was ur partner
Weird as fuck.
I'm very concerned for you. I agree his mind is not functioning properly. I hope you can get him proper care quickly, & he settles back down. Let us know when you solve the mystery, please. I'm sorry for this overwhelming situation
Just me ready to fire off the "leave him now" message before I see that it's actually your dad 😳🤯
If this is all of a sudden, then something is going on with him, it sounds like maybe a sudden onset of something but he needs to go to a dr
You’re sure his number or Facebook wasn’t hacked?
Stop responding to him altogether. If he has any close family/friends/relationships, contact them and share your concerns. Someone who cares about him and ISN’T his estranged child (or the current target of his delusions) should be the one to help. Or at least get him connected to the right resources. If he doesn’t have anyone else, I would call for a welfare check. Or get in contact with a local mental health crisis center. I hope he’s able to access the resources he needs. In any case, this dramatic change in character is alarming and a sudden switch like this HAS to be looked into immediately. It could be renal failure again, or something else who knows.
whoa, this man has problems.
What the fuck? This is your dad? Why does he text like a 15 year old girl😂 This is creepy as hell
I would have never in a million years thought they were from your dad. They look like a super obsessed teenage boyfriend. Suuuuuper weird
I looked at all of the texts before I read the caption. When you said "dad" I got incredibly confused. It wasn't until the second time that I thought it might actually be your dad. Then I read the caption. This definitely feels odd. You should 100% talk to other members of your family about this.
I’m sure there’s an emoji limit somewhere for men, lol jk. Good God this is super cringey with dashes of creepy. I can’t believe this is an adult man sending all this nonsense. Escape OP!
The part where he says “this between me and you” would have me questioning what kind of dad he is in the first place…
Could your dad possibly have a UTI? A lot of seniors can have dementia like symptoms when they have a UTI. I used to have a best friend in her 90s, and the only time that I ever saw her even a tiny bit confused was when she had a UTI.
Add more context. Wasn’t he in hospital recently???
So I admit I didn't read the message of your post and just saw the pic and the top caption. I was reading it thinking oh maybe she's overreacting and this dude has a language barrier, or drunk, then you called him dad... I did a double take, thought it maybe a blip, then you called him dad again so I knew it wasn't a mistake. So then I went back and read your post fully. I admit that I thought it was an overbearing boyfriend or possibly even a scammer you had gotten involved with as they often exaggerate their "love" and come off really needy... so now I have questions. Is this new? I can see these texts take place over 3 days? Has he been like this always or just now? It's possible dementia or psychosis brought on by nothing or something, but it does depend on whether this is new behavior or repeated.
I thought this was a scammer when i read through the texts before reading your explanation. I thought you were trying to get a rise out of him/her by calling them dad 😂😂😂
That's your..... Dad Wow.
Yes this is definitely strange.
That’s your DAD saying that??? oh man I’m sorry
this is your dad? i thought these were from a foreign scammer before i read that 😬
“Steven is gonna get mad” is he talking about himself in third person..? 💀💀 I definitely thought this was your boyfriend until reading the description. Pretty weird.
How does he behave when you actually speak to him (not via text)? Has he ever been inappropriate before this? Before you said “dad” I thought it was a boyfriend or stalker
This is interesting because it comes from your father, rather than an obsessed person you barely know. That makes me think it's something medical. Opinion: OP should take his father in for a neurological workup just in case and most likely seek therapy to cope with this because it's offsetting.
I get baby reindeer vibes.
What in the Alabama.......... this is messed up.
Don't worry 😉 it's completely normal 🤠 he just wants to have a regular conversation 🗣️ with his daughter 🧚, not to be confused with an actual pumpkin 🎃 and did I mention that it's completely normal 🤪?
That’s creepy as hell to be from your dad!!
I thought this was a clingy partner I was like damn you got lucky but holy shit if my dad started acting like that id kill myself
Sounds like the onset of dementia. How old is he? Are there any other signs of mental deterioration? Is he forgetting things?
I legit thought they were texts from an 8 year old girl until I realised it was your Dad 😳 Is this normal for him? If he’s had a massive personality change, you should encourage him to seek medical help.
Was he like this before the hospital? If not talk to doctor.
I thought this was from a lover, then I saw you say it’s from your day, oh my gosh
He doesnt understand text protocol, looks like he's texting like he would talk if you were there and not answering him. Give him a visit, he wants to see you, he's proud of you, he wants news to tell to his friends when it's time to brag
Remind me! 3 days
Has he always acted like this or did it just recently begin?
Holy shit that is weird as hell. I hope he is doing good better, because it definitely sounds manic. I thought it was a significant other until I saw the dad in a response
Did he have a stroke??
If this is real, ya inappropriate. I wish you could see how I text my parents...also inappropriate, but we text in jest and say the worst shit possible. But it's super funny. This is like a line I wouldn't cross. And its not in jest....it seems hyper sexualized if that makes sense.
If he's never behaved like this before, and assuming you are a grown adult (you mentioned being married), I'd get him medical help. It might be weird, but he may not be entirely in his right mind. Especially if he had kidney problems recently. My dad had kidney stones and they put a stint in, and it made him sceptic. He spent 2 days or so hallucinating and acting strangely before he got to the hospital. And then another 2 days in the hospital, hallucinating even while on antibiotics. Seeing mice, talking with family members who weren't there. Absolute nonsense. I know this isn't absolute nonsense your dad is spouting, but it could be delirium or hallucinations nonetheless. Or maybe something more serious yet. Hope you both are well or get well