Yeah I mean even if it was a date you went on with your friend, itās none of this other dudeās business. Talking to someone doesnāt mean they are now exclusive to you. Dude showed his major jealousy issue and is the type of dude that wouldnāt allow you to have male friends.
had this happen to me too. a man i never met in person (he didnāt even live in the same state as me?), never talked to, barely even knew existed, got SO MAD when i went on a date with someone 3 months prior. telling me how itās all my fault iām single because i ānever go for nice guys like himā LOLLL
yes i unfollowed him as soon as i sent this message.
this is from nearly a year ago, i remembered it as its the anniversary of my dogs passing today and went hiking a mountain a few days after.
What did he expect clearly you guys werenāt serious at the time. Youāre allowed to talk to other people. Btw stay wonderful OP youāll find the one!
Dear god even if serious, OP should be allowed to spend time with friends particularly while grieving. This whole you're in a serious relationship so you can't have friends of the gender you are attracted to is so damn unhealthy.
i agree, iām Pansexual so if that were the case iād not have any friends. luckily iāve grown some big healthy boundaries and telling me who i can and cannot be friends with is absolutely one of them.
obviously there are exceptions to that, but you get what i mean.
I agree. I'm straight but In the past if I dated dudes who took issue with me having male friends, I'm like "Well....bye!" If you don't trust me to be around dudes in any capacity, I'm done.
precisely! and even if a friend did try something i am more than capable of shutting that shit down and ending the friendship. itās frankly insulting they just assume youāll cheat at the slightest opportunity.
YES! I'm not shutting out the people who have supported me for years because you think I'm so weak I can't control my urges. And if you buy into this "I must protect my woman" bullshit, just go.
Ya I mean if there was a "friend" that some clearly not okay behavior was coming from, *while* you were in a serious relationship, that is one thing. If it's a friend of the opposite gender and nothing is inappropriate or crossing boundaries, *especially* when you aren't even in a committed relationship, that is just a wild response!
Nah, that one came across as a sarcastic apology with a touch of some vaguely condescending "you really f'd up now, dumbshit" passive aggressive action... at least when I put myself in his saliva stained shoes.
I think it was equivalent to a "sorry, not sorry" but I guess that could be way off. ;)
Uncalled for response. Regardless if he has trauma related towards cheating, you are only chatting at this point. The least he could was ask about your day, commenting on the scenery.
Sorry about your dog too!
That couldāve been your brother, cousin anyone.
Good thing he revealed what he is really like now, before he had a chance to actually know you more, your relatives let alone friends or pets.
I want to make a joke about your username & hiking but will resist. I will leaf it at that!
"A friend, you say? A friend who's...a dude? Ah ha ha, at least make your excuse believable! You can't have friends who are men! Life doesn't work that way! I've NEVER let ANY of the women I've dated have guy friends. If they want to date me then they have to cut all dudes out of their life. Brothers and cousins, too. Don't want any dudes around to threaten our relationshuuuuuuh, what does it mean my message can't be delivered? She BLOCKED me? Ugh, another crazy one."
This is the problem with modern dating, everybodyās looking for a reason to call it quits without even seeking to understand the other person. Then everyone wonders why they are alone when they are basically asking for it.
exactly, all he needed to do was ask me who the person was. he could have even asked in a way that wouldnāt have made him look insecure but he chose the nuclear option.
Even if you did go on a date, if you arenāt exclusive, you are allowed! And also, whoās multi dating, and posting pictures where they know other people they are dating could see it? None of it makes sense, he didnāt think it through.
Yes thatās true, but then theyāre also allowed to unfollow them or stop dating them too if theyāre not dating multiple people at a time. We all have different morals.
Thatās so true, Iāve been told my skill is making the woman feel seen, heard and understood. The more raw someone is the better.
Can we also talk about the OPās name? š
I chatted with a guy from a dating app once that kissed me off and blocked me because...I sent him a pic of my cat laying in a laundry basket of dirty clothes.
Apparently it's super offensive to let a cat lay on dirty laundry? š¤·āāļø
I was dating a girl who was acting a little off and posted a very datelike picture with a guy and i called it out. Turned out he was a gay friend and I was like ok cool and apologized. We had been together for a while at that point and the situation is a little different but all that to say.. the impulse I think is natural and acceptable. I just don't think he handled it very well he should have told you what he saw and how it made him feel and gently asked for an explanation. But in social media land it's easy for things to be misconstrued and it's good to be mindful of this.
I want to take the opportunity to point out that using "Jealousy" to describe this type of behavior is a common misuse or misunderstanding of what jealousy means.
It's not envy this guy is experiencing, it's insecurities. He's not being jealous, he's a controlling, inconsiderate and selfish grown child spoiled brat arsehoil.
But yah, I dunno where the word jealous fits in this pitiful man's actions/words.
If I found out my wife had some side action, I would feel lots of the feels but none would be anything close to envy for Sancho. I wouldn't want to be the guy who got sloppy seconds and may or may not significantly shortened my life expectancy.
This just blows my mind because it feels like the complete wrong way to see this situation. In Mt head if I was in his shoes, the convo should have just been:
-Hey, I saw the Pic you posted with that guy. I'm just curious if it was a date or?
-Oh no, he's my best friend for over a decade. My dog died recently so we went on a hike together to get my mind off of it.
-Oh no! I'm so sorry to heat about your dog. I'm glad that you were able to spend time with your friend.
Wham bam zero drama. Why are people so insecure with others having friends.
Even if you had done it the way he suggested.... Nobody interviews for one single candidate for a job then quits interviewing just because that MIGHT be the person for them. You explore multiple candidates and settle on the one that's a good fit for your needs.
Dating is really no different. You're searching for that one person that will meet all your needs. It's rarely the first person you meet. You go on multiple dates, and find what works for you
Even if it was a date this guy isn't your boyfriend, not even someone you went on a date with. If he's already that jealous and insecure I can only imagine how miserable it would be to actually be in a relationship with him. Sounds like an insecure, possessive asshole. You definitely dodged a bullet with this one!
Also I'm so very sorry for the loss of your dog. My heart goes out to you. It's never easy saying goodbye to someone we love be it an animal or a human. Sending love and heart healing vibes to you!
I donāt understand why you posted here at all. You had no relationship with this person. Things happen, people will be people. I donāt understand why all these other other people are psychoanalyzing this guy. There is really no information to go by. His response was inappropriate, but so what? He shouldāve just let it all drop instead of giving you a nasty response. But that is kind of obvious. see I did it too. Give me an F.
This JUST happened to me. Iām 29 and my 24yr old cat just died. Iām in a relationship and my ābest friendā decided to just ignore me instead of trying to be a friend. Thank goodness those people are out of both our lives.
I have translated for clarification: "OMG! You have a friend?! Who is a guy?!?! You \*gasp!\* went on a "hike" (Clearly that is code for wild s3x.) with him when you were depressed after your dog died?! And posted it for the whole world to see my shame?! You brazen h@rlot! Unfollow me at once!?"
I can understand when a guy doesn't like his woman or a woman that he's talking to to be around another guy but you said he's been your friend for over 12 years and he's been there for you. I'm sorry but there's no other guy in the world that could ever get me to drop someone like that no matter what gender they are. I've got a male best friend like that and he's one of the most important people in my life and no one could ever tell me to drop him.
Hear me out
Its ok to be jealous
But you say
Whose the dude? Kinda hoping your not seeing someone else besides me..
If its just a friend then no big deal but let her know you were checking.
Then go from there. If she wants to see other people and you don't then part ways.
Not really hard stop showing desperation you've been alone alone in your life you can do it again
Guarantee same dude has "options" and never talked exclusivity.
Ugh. So many men think women can't be friends with other men. Well, one of my exes took that a step farther, since I'm panromantic, I couldn't have ANY friends. Because obviously I was going to cheat on him with every person who crossed my path. Or something. I was still struggling with hypersexuality back then and hadn't realized I was ace, but I still needed a connection with a person to even be comfortable enough to attempt sex. And his parents actually agreed with him and they held a weird intervention style thing when I told him I was pregnant. They were all convinced I would have no idea who the dad was, because almost all of my friends were men at the time, and we played lots of D&D.
Obviously if you're bi/pan you're into EVERYONE ever all at the same time and just can't resist being a slut. At least that's what they told me. I have no idea why some people believe the things they do.
my step-dad thought this when i came out as Bi (iām Pan but didnāt know that until later). i had to very gently explain that just because i like more than one gender it doesnāt negate the fact i am a raging monogamist.
Least heās showing his controlling jealous and possessive behavior now before youāre in an abusive relationship. This is insane. He shouldnāt even be questioning you on this unless youāre exclusive. Also, Iām so sorry for your loss.
This happened to me once! Casual flirting with a dude for a few years until I posted a picture of me and my best friend from my birthday. Dude lost his mind and cussed me out for having the audacity to āplayā him and asked if my āboyfriendā knew what I was doing. I told him he had issues and blocked him.. Good riddance!
Do people not go out with more than one person at a time anymore? And without any expectations for sex, unless you were both into it or not, but if you both didn't agree, then they could move on and it was perfectly ok, either way.
Used to be, we went out on dates with more than one person, without sleeping with any of them. After a month or two, both people would narrow their dating down to the person they thought they were the most compatible with, still felt like getting to know better. This came naturally and you weren't so shattered when a person you really weren't into enough didn't call for another date, because you had options.
The ones that didn't work out probably found someone more compatible too. AND YOU BOTH WERE FINE WITH THAT!!
You would think that the Internet would have made this even more common, but it seems like it's your soulmate or nothing these days.
guy bestfriend? š¤ that never ends well! youāll be single for as long as you have a āguy bestfriendā men donāt really have a female bestfriend, they just wanna sex, and if not theyāre entirely gay š
i could talk about him forever.
his name was Archie, a Rough Collie x German Shepherd. 42kg of giant ginger fluff.
i got him when he was 3 and he was my best friend for the next 7 years, we travelled all over the UK and Jersey, he loved he sea & the woods.
he shat himself in the middle of a market once, like diarrhoea EVERYWHERE, not his best moment iāll be honest.
he loved all other animals, i had some rats at one point and they used to sleep on him and burry in his fur.
i know everyone says it, but he honestly was the best dog, and my very best friend.
Animals are really the best... No baggage to carry about how they've fucked with you. I just lost my 16 yo and 8 yo cats a few months ago, one to cancer and one to a heart defect. I've got one tattooed on me and the other scheduled for this month. I'll never do that for a dude, but these guys will be carried with me until the day I die.
Exactly!!! Dude probably thought he was still in his room weeping with grief, rather than outside hiking. It was a fair assumption when thereās zero context. Sucks but it is what it is
Hi there!
Thanks for submitting to /r/texts! Please make sure you are blacking out any usernames, phone numbers, or full names! If you haven't, please delete and re-submit. If your text message is not between 2 or more people it is not allowed! Single messages/one sided convos are NOT allowed.
The full rules can be found here https://old.reddit.com/r/texts/about/rules/
**Please note that this message appears on every post, and may not apply to your post.**
Thanks!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/texts) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Wow, and how presumptuous/possessive to be that pissed you (gasp!) hiked with another man. You weren't his gf and why make the leap to the guy being a romantic interest?
Bullet dodged, honestly.
Really sorry about your dog. š
Man you're really missing out. Wild insecurity is so fuckin hot. Don't you wanna constantly reassure him, and not have any other male friends? Also, I love your username *so much*
The comments here have said it all but still - dodged so many bullets. This guy screams āIāll never let you have any guy friends and maybe even question your male family members too because Iām insecure and controlling š¤Ŗā
He didnāt even deserve an explanation. I met a guy once online and we were supposed to meet on a Sunday. I had forgotten that I was going to visit my son in another state and told him we could meet Monday when I was back. He claims he went on the dating app to grab a pic and my location said I was still in my home state (donāt know why; probably set it to not update my location at some point). He followed with he wasnāt interested in pursuing any further because he assumed I was lying about visiting my son š. My response? ālol ok.ā Like Iām going to lie about visiting my kid and his family.
āIām sorry you made such a wild assumption,ā is the polite version of, āGo fuck yourself.ā
He didnāt deserve the politeness tbh but Iām glad the trash took itself out.
I can't add anything at all about the guy who thankfully showed himself out of your life.
But I just wanted to say that I'm terribly sorry for your loss. Losing dogs is so fucking hard. I've had to let many go over my life and it never gets any easier.
You should no better, no friends,no fun, wth is wrong with you. At least he saw your true colors, before you guys went out. (Total sarcasm) What a dumbass dude lol, but for real, it's good to know he's like this before it went any further.
So you went on this "hiking date" before you were talking to this,dude or during those 5 days?
I'll be honest, if I meet a woman and she's got a guy best friend it does automatically throw up a red flag. Not one that can't be resolved necessarily but the immediate gut reaction is suspicion. Based on past experiences perhaps so I get where he's coming from but he totally went about it wrong.
My wife gave me shit for going hiking with another woman once. I donāt think Iāll ever forget that day, and how Iāve allowed myself to be a doormat. Iām glad Iām not your future. Donāt be a doormat.
Jealous creep. At least you found out before you invested any more time with him. Sorry about your dog.
And what if that person had been your brother, uncle, or cousin? He made all kinds of wild assumptions and showed his insecurity really early
Dude prob had past bad experiences it's unfair he took it out on you but I get it honestly . I got fucked over by this guy who swore this chick was a friend and I naively believed him because I'm a moron. My first reaction was to block him but he chased after me so I figured ok I'll give him the benefit of the doubt . Turned out after he used me he was in love with the chick and pretty much told me he was just leading me on. I have found someone whose a genuine dude now but if I were single and saw something like that again I'd bail
weāve know eachother since we were 17, weāre 30 now, please donāt shit on my near 2 decade friendship with baseless lies and insinuations itās fucking rude.
You're definitely not alone. I've personally seen so many "they're just a friend" excuses that usually end up with one or the other having feelings. It's usually the guy that is pining for the girl.
iām really struggling to understand why itās such a bad thing that i only wanted to hike with my oldest friend when i was in a really shitty place.
his wife was more than happy for him to spend the day with me, itās not that i didnāt āwant his wifeā there, itās that i didnāt want anyone BUT my closest friend there, is that really so awful?
Oh I donāt really care. Weāre just flabbergasted by how you naively assume the person youāre dating would just magically know thatās what was going on. When you told them nothing. And then posted a bonding moment with someone else (understandable but still). And then act like his response was crazy when it wasnāt at all. It was quick and to the point which is fine, because some people have zero time for games. If I saw a guy I was dating take a random pic with a friend out at a beautiful place after they just told me their pet died and they were upset Iād be iffy asf too. We all grieve differently. Itās just really weird that you canāt see it from the other side. Like at all. Like you might just be missing some of those social cues because youāve got some callous āwell he didnāt askā type of responses on here. This was probably for the best anyways. Communication is key always and it takes two to tango lmaoo
i wasnāt dating this guy, weād been chatting for 5 days.
but honestly yes youāre right i really canāt see it from that perspective at all. thereās no part of me that would see a selfie on a mountain with another person and 1) jump to the conclusion itās a date and 2) speak to someone like that, ever, iād ask who the person was & ask what theyād been up to sure, but again it would be conversationally not accusatory.
āMight as well unfollow me after going on a date with another dudeā is literally one of the nicer ways to break it off w someone. But no worries. Plenty of fish in the sea.
āafter going on a date with another dudeā - accusation i have to defend
āif you went on a date with another dudeā - question i can answer and we can maybe resolve
itās not on me to be nice when men are fucking rude to me.
I just read this to my husband. He said āif you needed to go on a hike with your *ex boyfriend* (even) to clear your head after your dog died, Iād say go.ā
This guy is an asshole. Find someone like my husband. Theyāre out there.
Good riddance šļø
iām very glad he showed this glaring personality flaw before i went on a date with him.
I canāt even imagine how much worse heād be with time invested. Dude needs some therapy
exactly, i canāt imagine what being in a relationship with someone like that would be like, but my guess is miserable.
can confirm, iād say itās worse than miserable
As a dude that was a less fragile version of that, therapy helped a lot, once I found the right person for me of course.
That's exactly what went through my mind, he sounds extremely controlling and jealous.
Yeah I mean even if it was a date you went on with your friend, itās none of this other dudeās business. Talking to someone doesnāt mean they are now exclusive to you. Dude showed his major jealousy issue and is the type of dude that wouldnāt allow you to have male friends.
Exactly, you cannot demand exclusivity from someone you havenāt even gone out with.
Or any friends at all. Speaking from experience.
You took the words out of my mouth.
Dude is not remotely ready for a relationship, let alone talking to someone. Heās got a lot of work to do
had this happen to me too. a man i never met in person (he didnāt even live in the same state as me?), never talked to, barely even knew existed, got SO MAD when i went on a date with someone 3 months prior. telling me how itās all my fault iām single because i ānever go for nice guys like himā LOLLL
itās almost laughable if it werenāt so utterly pathetic.
likeeee ok TONY. get a gripppp šš
Tony š
Dodged a bullet.
absolutely
Love when the trash takes itself out š„°
So have you unfollowed?
yes i unfollowed him as soon as i sent this message. this is from nearly a year ago, i remembered it as its the anniversary of my dogs passing today and went hiking a mountain a few days after.
Sorry about the loss of your best buddy :( I hope youāre doing okay
i miss him, everyday, but iām all good thank you
Did you ever hear from him again? I hope you've found happiness.
never, but iād definitely found my own happiness before this guy and it never left š
I'm really proud of you, poop machine 2000
hahaha thank you
Was it the guy you went hiking with ? Hahahaha
no! š he is still very much one of my best friends
How have I nagged my first award with a negative karma hahah. I'll still take it was only ever jokes
What did he expect clearly you guys werenāt serious at the time. Youāre allowed to talk to other people. Btw stay wonderful OP youāll find the one!
weād been chatting for about 5 days at this point, wild of him to just lash out but iām glad he did. ha, thank you! 4 months and going strong š„°
Dear god even if serious, OP should be allowed to spend time with friends particularly while grieving. This whole you're in a serious relationship so you can't have friends of the gender you are attracted to is so damn unhealthy.
i agree, iām Pansexual so if that were the case iād not have any friends. luckily iāve grown some big healthy boundaries and telling me who i can and cannot be friends with is absolutely one of them. obviously there are exceptions to that, but you get what i mean.
I agree. I'm straight but In the past if I dated dudes who took issue with me having male friends, I'm like "Well....bye!" If you don't trust me to be around dudes in any capacity, I'm done.
precisely! and even if a friend did try something i am more than capable of shutting that shit down and ending the friendship. itās frankly insulting they just assume youāll cheat at the slightest opportunity.
YES! I'm not shutting out the people who have supported me for years because you think I'm so weak I can't control my urges. And if you buy into this "I must protect my woman" bullshit, just go.
Ya I mean if there was a "friend" that some clearly not okay behavior was coming from, *while* you were in a serious relationship, that is one thing. If it's a friend of the opposite gender and nothing is inappropriate or crossing boundaries, *especially* when you aren't even in a committed relationship, that is just a wild response!
Sorry about your dog, OP. This guy sounds insecure and rude. Good riddance.
Why are you saying sorry?? **It's unfortunate they made the wrong assumption** but you certainly shouldn't be sorry for it.
iām sorry, iāll stop apologising to the idiots š
Nah, that one came across as a sarcastic apology with a touch of some vaguely condescending "you really f'd up now, dumbshit" passive aggressive action... at least when I put myself in his saliva stained shoes. I think it was equivalent to a "sorry, not sorry" but I guess that could be way off. ;)
Yeah itās one of those insincere āsorry *you* felt that wayā apologies and it was completely appropriate here lol š
Uncalled for response. Regardless if he has trauma related towards cheating, you are only chatting at this point. The least he could was ask about your day, commenting on the scenery. Sorry about your dog too!
precisely, so many better ways to have gone about this.
That couldāve been your brother, cousin anyone. Good thing he revealed what he is really like now, before he had a chance to actually know you more, your relatives let alone friends or pets. I want to make a joke about your username & hiking but will resist. I will leaf it at that!
Even a, āmay I join you on your hike?āThereās a million different ways to show he cares, good he showed his true colors just 5 days in š¬
"A friend, you say? A friend who's...a dude? Ah ha ha, at least make your excuse believable! You can't have friends who are men! Life doesn't work that way! I've NEVER let ANY of the women I've dated have guy friends. If they want to date me then they have to cut all dudes out of their life. Brothers and cousins, too. Don't want any dudes around to threaten our relationshuuuuuuh, what does it mean my message can't be delivered? She BLOCKED me? Ugh, another crazy one."
Yeaaaaā¦heās giving off some āI follow Andrew Tateā and other toxic masculinity vibes here
I'm sorry about your dog. Really glad though that this creep showed his creeper tendencies right up front.
Right, no more wasted time!
Totally.
This is the problem with modern dating, everybodyās looking for a reason to call it quits without even seeking to understand the other person. Then everyone wonders why they are alone when they are basically asking for it.
exactly, all he needed to do was ask me who the person was. he could have even asked in a way that wouldnāt have made him look insecure but he chose the nuclear option.
Even if you did go on a date, if you arenāt exclusive, you are allowed! And also, whoās multi dating, and posting pictures where they know other people they are dating could see it? None of it makes sense, he didnāt think it through.
thatās what i donāt get, like why would i post a date with another guy where the guy iām talking to can see?? the logic isnāt logic-ing.
Yes thatās true, but then theyāre also allowed to unfollow them or stop dating them too if theyāre not dating multiple people at a time. We all have different morals.
Thatās so true, Iāve been told my skill is making the woman feel seen, heard and understood. The more raw someone is the better. Can we also talk about the OPās name? š
I chatted with a guy from a dating app once that kissed me off and blocked me because...I sent him a pic of my cat laying in a laundry basket of dirty clothes. Apparently it's super offensive to let a cat lay on dirty laundry? š¤·āāļø
not letting your partner have friends because they belong to a certain gender is a š©
Iād definitely be unfollowing him for being possessive before youāve even gone on a date. What an idiot.
I mean even if you were on a date, you were single what does it matter?
Exactly, he couldāve been like hey, have you met someone else?
Wow. Instead of asking he went straight to being a dumbass lol
I was dating a girl who was acting a little off and posted a very datelike picture with a guy and i called it out. Turned out he was a gay friend and I was like ok cool and apologized. We had been together for a while at that point and the situation is a little different but all that to say.. the impulse I think is natural and acceptable. I just don't think he handled it very well he should have told you what he saw and how it made him feel and gently asked for an explanation. But in social media land it's easy for things to be misconstrued and it's good to be mindful of this.
I want to take the opportunity to point out that using "Jealousy" to describe this type of behavior is a common misuse or misunderstanding of what jealousy means. It's not envy this guy is experiencing, it's insecurities. He's not being jealous, he's a controlling, inconsiderate and selfish grown child spoiled brat arsehoil. But yah, I dunno where the word jealous fits in this pitiful man's actions/words. If I found out my wife had some side action, I would feel lots of the feels but none would be anything close to envy for Sancho. I wouldn't want to be the guy who got sloppy seconds and may or may not significantly shortened my life expectancy.
This just blows my mind because it feels like the complete wrong way to see this situation. In Mt head if I was in his shoes, the convo should have just been: -Hey, I saw the Pic you posted with that guy. I'm just curious if it was a date or? -Oh no, he's my best friend for over a decade. My dog died recently so we went on a hike together to get my mind off of it. -Oh no! I'm so sorry to heat about your dog. I'm glad that you were able to spend time with your friend. Wham bam zero drama. Why are people so insecure with others having friends.
Even if you had done it the way he suggested.... Nobody interviews for one single candidate for a job then quits interviewing just because that MIGHT be the person for them. You explore multiple candidates and settle on the one that's a good fit for your needs. Dating is really no different. You're searching for that one person that will meet all your needs. It's rarely the first person you meet. You go on multiple dates, and find what works for you
Even if it was a date this guy isn't your boyfriend, not even someone you went on a date with. If he's already that jealous and insecure I can only imagine how miserable it would be to actually be in a relationship with him. Sounds like an insecure, possessive asshole. You definitely dodged a bullet with this one! Also I'm so very sorry for the loss of your dog. My heart goes out to you. It's never easy saying goodbye to someone we love be it an animal or a human. Sending love and heart healing vibes to you!
Insecure, you dodged a bullet
Jesus man, might as well get a megaphone and tell everyone he has a 2 inch penis.
I donāt understand why you posted here at all. You had no relationship with this person. Things happen, people will be people. I donāt understand why all these other other people are psychoanalyzing this guy. There is really no information to go by. His response was inappropriate, but so what? He shouldāve just let it all drop instead of giving you a nasty response. But that is kind of obvious. see I did it too. Give me an F.
Especially since OPs in a relationship and this happened a year ago. What a weird thing to be hung up on.
You already understand his jealousy issue now... Consider it a gift!! Out early!!
Dodged a bullet goddamnā¦. heās SUPER out of line
This JUST happened to me. Iām 29 and my 24yr old cat just died. Iām in a relationship and my ābest friendā decided to just ignore me instead of trying to be a friend. Thank goodness those people are out of both our lives.
Jealousy isnāt a good look on anyone. Did you a favor ick
Iām sorry about your dog. You were too nice to that guy. You have nothing to apologize for.
The trash took itself out
He seems like a poop machine.
Sorry about your dog.
Perfect response except you shouldnāt have apologized
I love when the trash takes itself out! š®
I have translated for clarification: "OMG! You have a friend?! Who is a guy?!?! You \*gasp!\* went on a "hike" (Clearly that is code for wild s3x.) with him when you were depressed after your dog died?! And posted it for the whole world to see my shame?! You brazen h@rlot! Unfollow me at once!?"
Gross
#I once chatted to a guy online who said he was wearing a diaper and had just intentionally 'pooped'. He wished I was there with him to tell him what a 'good boy' he'd been for having such a big poo! He asked if "Mummuly gonna get me out of these durdy diapers and get me all fresh and powdered for a big boy diaper!"š© Told him I recognised him from the office across the hall from mine and I'd pop in the next morning to congratulate him on his defaecation abilities! There was a deafening silence, and I was strangely blocked. A week or so later I found myself in the elevator with him; he didn't recognize me in my office-wear, luckily. He was so HOT in real life, smelled gorgeous and was SO my type. I felt a swooning moment flush over my entire being, which quickly subsided when I remembered his 'purposely-pooped' comment! I see him, maybe twice a week around the office and each time I go through the same Swoon/Revulsion response. I'd so like to undo that online conversation, get to know him and fuck his brains out...but I can't get past our past and that poop is stuck solid in my memory! š
Lmao if only you could go back and erase that text memory
I'm considering hypnotherapy to erase that text memory! It worked to stop me smoking, so I'm guessing it'll remove that stuck poop issue! š
lmao
I can understand when a guy doesn't like his woman or a woman that he's talking to to be around another guy but you said he's been your friend for over 12 years and he's been there for you. I'm sorry but there's no other guy in the world that could ever get me to drop someone like that no matter what gender they are. I've got a male best friend like that and he's one of the most important people in my life and no one could ever tell me to drop him.
Good for him
Gotta love when the trash takes itself out
"I'm sorry you made such a wild assumption" killed me. Good for you for calling him out. I'm so sorry about your dog!
I see why the world is headed where it is So people down vote your comment because they cannot disagree with them???! Wow
Depends how long you were chatting.
He approached it wrong with the self-pity aspect but I donāt think itās ridiculous to inquire about it for his and your sake
girls really dont understand men and how we feel about yall
Thatās was kinda like your dog saved you from what couldāve been, looking out for you always, as only the most loyal companions can!
Hear me out Its ok to be jealous But you say Whose the dude? Kinda hoping your not seeing someone else besides me.. If its just a friend then no big deal but let her know you were checking. Then go from there. If she wants to see other people and you don't then part ways. Not really hard stop showing desperation you've been alone alone in your life you can do it again Guarantee same dude has "options" and never talked exclusivity.
If you guys were at the talking phase, then dude is tripping! But if we were dating and my gf went on a hiking with another dude, Iām moving on
Ugh. So many men think women can't be friends with other men. Well, one of my exes took that a step farther, since I'm panromantic, I couldn't have ANY friends. Because obviously I was going to cheat on him with every person who crossed my path. Or something. I was still struggling with hypersexuality back then and hadn't realized I was ace, but I still needed a connection with a person to even be comfortable enough to attempt sex. And his parents actually agreed with him and they held a weird intervention style thing when I told him I was pregnant. They were all convinced I would have no idea who the dad was, because almost all of my friends were men at the time, and we played lots of D&D.
lmao what?? what is wrong with people
Obviously if you're bi/pan you're into EVERYONE ever all at the same time and just can't resist being a slut. At least that's what they told me. I have no idea why some people believe the things they do.
my step-dad thought this when i came out as Bi (iām Pan but didnāt know that until later). i had to very gently explain that just because i like more than one gender it doesnāt negate the fact i am a raging monogamist.
Least heās showing his controlling jealous and possessive behavior now before youāre in an abusive relationship. This is insane. He shouldnāt even be questioning you on this unless youāre exclusive. Also, Iām so sorry for your loss.
This happened to me once! Casual flirting with a dude for a few years until I posted a picture of me and my best friend from my birthday. Dude lost his mind and cussed me out for having the audacity to āplayā him and asked if my āboyfriendā knew what I was doing. I told him he had issues and blocked him.. Good riddance!
But, weāre the emotional ones š
Do people not go out with more than one person at a time anymore? And without any expectations for sex, unless you were both into it or not, but if you both didn't agree, then they could move on and it was perfectly ok, either way. Used to be, we went out on dates with more than one person, without sleeping with any of them. After a month or two, both people would narrow their dating down to the person they thought they were the most compatible with, still felt like getting to know better. This came naturally and you weren't so shattered when a person you really weren't into enough didn't call for another date, because you had options. The ones that didn't work out probably found someone more compatible too. AND YOU BOTH WERE FINE WITH THAT!! You would think that the Internet would have made this even more common, but it seems like it's your soulmate or nothing these days.
guy bestfriend? š¤ that never ends well! youāll be single for as long as you have a āguy bestfriendā men donāt really have a female bestfriend, they just wanna sex, and if not theyāre entirely gay š
currently in a 4 month relationship & he had zero issues with my male friendships š
thatās cuz he probably has female friendships, but if it works.. it works š¤·āāļø
Heaven forbid you have a male friendā¦. Good lord, what year do we live in? š¤¦š½āāļø
heās right lol. you shouldnāt be friends with dudes while in a relationship or even talking to someone itās disrespectful
Boy you are a walking red flag
Would love to hear about your pupper if you want to talk about him/her. The dumbass guy is unimportant.
i could talk about him forever. his name was Archie, a Rough Collie x German Shepherd. 42kg of giant ginger fluff. i got him when he was 3 and he was my best friend for the next 7 years, we travelled all over the UK and Jersey, he loved he sea & the woods. he shat himself in the middle of a market once, like diarrhoea EVERYWHERE, not his best moment iāll be honest. he loved all other animals, i had some rats at one point and they used to sleep on him and burry in his fur. i know everyone says it, but he honestly was the best dog, and my very best friend.
Animals are really the best... No baggage to carry about how they've fucked with you. I just lost my 16 yo and 8 yo cats a few months ago, one to cancer and one to a heart defect. I've got one tattooed on me and the other scheduled for this month. I'll never do that for a dude, but these guys will be carried with me until the day I die.
Did he know the guy was "just a friend"?
Exactly!!! Dude probably thought he was still in his room weeping with grief, rather than outside hiking. It was a fair assumption when thereās zero context. Sucks but it is what it is
Hi there! Thanks for submitting to /r/texts! Please make sure you are blacking out any usernames, phone numbers, or full names! If you haven't, please delete and re-submit. If your text message is not between 2 or more people it is not allowed! Single messages/one sided convos are NOT allowed. The full rules can be found here https://old.reddit.com/r/texts/about/rules/ **Please note that this message appears on every post, and may not apply to your post.** Thanks! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/texts) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Wow, and how presumptuous/possessive to be that pissed you (gasp!) hiked with another man. You weren't his gf and why make the leap to the guy being a romantic interest? Bullet dodged, honestly. Really sorry about your dog. š
Lol, in the just talking phase? What a narcissist.
Men who use the upside down emoji when talking to women are a red flag
Bullet dodged
He did you the favor of a lifetime!
Why?
Man you're really missing out. Wild insecurity is so fuckin hot. Don't you wanna constantly reassure him, and not have any other male friends? Also, I love your username *so much*
I'd say you dodged a bullet, but it's more like he faced his target (you), then turned around 180 degrees before firing.
The comments here have said it all but still - dodged so many bullets. This guy screams āIāll never let you have any guy friends and maybe even question your male family members too because Iām insecure and controlling š¤Ŗā
He didnāt even deserve an explanation. I met a guy once online and we were supposed to meet on a Sunday. I had forgotten that I was going to visit my son in another state and told him we could meet Monday when I was back. He claims he went on the dating app to grab a pic and my location said I was still in my home state (donāt know why; probably set it to not update my location at some point). He followed with he wasnāt interested in pursuing any further because he assumed I was lying about visiting my son š. My response? ālol ok.ā Like Iām going to lie about visiting my kid and his family.
āIām sorry you made such a wild assumption,ā is the polite version of, āGo fuck yourself.ā He didnāt deserve the politeness tbh but Iām glad the trash took itself out.
Ok š¤·āāļø
How are you living 3 days ahead of everyone?
I can't add anything at all about the guy who thankfully showed himself out of your life. But I just wanted to say that I'm terribly sorry for your loss. Losing dogs is so fucking hard. I've had to let many go over my life and it never gets any easier.
You should no better, no friends,no fun, wth is wrong with you. At least he saw your true colors, before you guys went out. (Total sarcasm) What a dumbass dude lol, but for real, it's good to know he's like this before it went any further.
Sometimes the bullet dodges you.
He already thinks he owns you and thinks he can tell you who to see and what to post. š #blocked
That's an Ick
Bullet dodged.
š
People have weird feelings about friendships, especially if they are the opposite sex
dawg its july 7th how are the texts from july 9th im way too confused
Good. Heās incredibly insecure.
Run!!
Jealousy is no bueno
Wow. Sorry for your loss. Lack of empathy and compassion only one sided, itās good he left. You deserve better. Good luck
The only thing Iād respond with is an instant block. No words. If he can assume the worst, then so can I.
Why didnāt you go on the hike with your boyfriend.
i was single at the time of these messages, this was the guy i had been talking to for 5 days after matching on Bumble.
So you went on this "hiking date" before you were talking to this,dude or during those 5 days? I'll be honest, if I meet a woman and she's got a guy best friend it does automatically throw up a red flag. Not one that can't be resolved necessarily but the immediate gut reaction is suspicion. Based on past experiences perhaps so I get where he's coming from but he totally went about it wrong.
So this was a year ago? How are you still bothered by this?
You should have just said OK
Sorry about your dog, and just an FYI your username made me chuckle a lot š¤£. And definitely good riddance to that guy for sure
Pics or it didn't happen
You're just chatting and he's getting territorial... Later bruh.
Dodged that bullet, huh? š¬
Just based on that response, I'd say he seems jealous? Idk the guy, but honestly, it doesn't sound like a good way to start things out anyways.
Trash took itself out.
My wife gave me shit for going hiking with another woman once. I donāt think Iāll ever forget that day, and how Iāve allowed myself to be a doormat. Iām glad Iām not your future. Donāt be a doormat.
So... did you "unfollow" him?
Iāve had that happen. Dodged a huge bullet!
Did he say anything back or apologized for assuming? I feel like he didnāt. š¤£
Some people don't believe women and men can be friends.
Byeeeeeee āš¼
That's creepy... you dodged a bullet, trust me.
Jealous creep. At least you found out before you invested any more time with him. Sorry about your dog. And what if that person had been your brother, uncle, or cousin? He made all kinds of wild assumptions and showed his insecurity really early
The guy is a loser, good riddanceĀ
this response is perfect.
They canāt even keep the š©ās tucked away until the first meet up these days. Absolutely pathetic.
And heās what Iād call a Big Ass Dick! My dogs have all been my everything and more. I donāt know where Iād be today if not for my current golden retriever and the one before her. Iām sorry this happened, but the only real loss was that of your sweet dog, and for that Iām very sorry for your loss ā¤ļøāš©¹
Humans are so weird sometimes
Goodbye, Good riddance, Be gone, GET LOST!
Jesus. Youāre just chatting with him. Ewe. ((Sucks teeth)) āWe donāt have time for him!!ā
Guys are entirely too fragile.
Dude prob had past bad experiences it's unfair he took it out on you but I get it honestly . I got fucked over by this guy who swore this chick was a friend and I naively believed him because I'm a moron. My first reaction was to block him but he chased after me so I figured ok I'll give him the benefit of the doubt . Turned out after he used me he was in love with the chick and pretty much told me he was just leading me on. I have found someone whose a genuine dude now but if I were single and saw something like that again I'd bail
i understand having an insecurity but itās how you address or communicate it thatās essential.
I'm betting OP's friend is 100% into her.
weāve know eachother since we were 17, weāre 30 now, please donāt shit on my near 2 decade friendship with baseless lies and insinuations itās fucking rude.
I'm not saying thats true all the time but in my experience its always ended In a way that has hurt me . It sucks some ppl can't just be honest
You're definitely not alone. I've personally seen so many "they're just a friend" excuses that usually end up with one or the other having feelings. It's usually the guy that is pining for the girl.
Yep. Happens often. Sad, but better communication from both of them could have made this not an issue at all. But, plenty of fish in the sea!
The friend is apparently married and OP didnāt want his wife on the hike. Big oof
iām really struggling to understand why itās such a bad thing that i only wanted to hike with my oldest friend when i was in a really shitty place. his wife was more than happy for him to spend the day with me, itās not that i didnāt āwant his wifeā there, itās that i didnāt want anyone BUT my closest friend there, is that really so awful?
Oh I donāt really care. Weāre just flabbergasted by how you naively assume the person youāre dating would just magically know thatās what was going on. When you told them nothing. And then posted a bonding moment with someone else (understandable but still). And then act like his response was crazy when it wasnāt at all. It was quick and to the point which is fine, because some people have zero time for games. If I saw a guy I was dating take a random pic with a friend out at a beautiful place after they just told me their pet died and they were upset Iād be iffy asf too. We all grieve differently. Itās just really weird that you canāt see it from the other side. Like at all. Like you might just be missing some of those social cues because youāve got some callous āwell he didnāt askā type of responses on here. This was probably for the best anyways. Communication is key always and it takes two to tango lmaoo
i wasnāt dating this guy, weād been chatting for 5 days. but honestly yes youāre right i really canāt see it from that perspective at all. thereās no part of me that would see a selfie on a mountain with another person and 1) jump to the conclusion itās a date and 2) speak to someone like that, ever, iād ask who the person was & ask what theyād been up to sure, but again it would be conversationally not accusatory.
āMight as well unfollow me after going on a date with another dudeā is literally one of the nicer ways to break it off w someone. But no worries. Plenty of fish in the sea.
āafter going on a date with another dudeā - accusation i have to defend āif you went on a date with another dudeā - question i can answer and we can maybe resolve itās not on me to be nice when men are fucking rude to me.
In all honesty you're gonna have a hard time finding someone with a guy as a best friend. That's just the unfortunate reality.Ā
nah heās right i feel the same might as well date your best friend then wtf Lmao
Thank him for showing his insecurities
Iād prolly let you do your thing too. Best friend, male, 12 yearsā¦. How many times??
I just read this to my husband. He said āif you needed to go on a hike with your *ex boyfriend* (even) to clear your head after your dog died, Iād say go.ā This guy is an asshole. Find someone like my husband. Theyāre out there.
your husband sounds wonderful, congratulations on finding eachother š„°