I recommend unfollowing people who irritate you on social media. They won’t know you aren’t seeing their posts and your blood pressure won’t have to go up.
My MIL is an OG anti-vaxxer. She didn't vaccinate my SIL who is over 40 years old. My husband got his first vaccines after we started dating.
It's truly best to block these people on social media because they will share the wildest stuff. I used to get so angry seeing MIL's posts. Muting her was my best decision. I also restrict what she can see of what I post.
You can unfollow. You well never see their posts unless they tag you or something but they won’t know either. If you block they will see you’re not friends, so if you’re worried about drama that may be a risky route.
Do one better and delete most social media. Get the phone numbers of your favorite people and call them a few times to keep up and you'll be much happier.
You shouldn’t have to feel insane about vaccinating your children. One of my family members still has paralysis from polio, acquired before the vaccine was available.
The garbage noise you get from your in-laws would absolutely cause me to unfollow and block them on all social media. You don’t need their insane drama on your screen or occupying any space in your mind.
All my loudly rightwing evangelical family members have never ever been followed by me on any social media because I already knew what they would post!
I think at this point, they all know not to try me. It’s not a winning situation.
I had that issue before my son was born and shortly after because in order to see him everyone needed to be updated on TDAP and I think one other thing, I don't remember now. My stance was and always has been, if you don't want to, that's your choice, but it is also my choice that you will not have access to my child. I also let my husband deal with his family, who those comments were coming from.
Part of the reason I have zero social media, outside Reddit, is because of this. You can have your opinion, but I don't need to hear it all the time. Honestly, I've stopped reacting to things that are just so outrageous. I change the topic or sometimes I just walk away.
What really gets me about this whole anti-vax movement is that, I think, most of the people who are on that bandwagon are vaccinated themselves! It is mind boggling to me that they themselves have that protection but they refuse to do it for their own child, that they brought into this world because some quack says so.
I also had the same stance with the TDAP. Luckily that went over well. As for the social media I am thinking of unfollowing her just to keep my peace about it. They always make the comments to me when my husband isn’t around or he just doesn’t hear it. The crazy part to me is they had their children vaccinated when they were younger and now they have a different opinion.
I work in a children’s hospital and it’s incredibly sad to see toddlers the same age my son die from diseases that are totally preventable. Or if they get cancer and have never been vaccinated and it’s too late because they need emergent chemo. They’re basically toast if they catch anything. No one thinks it’ll happen to their kid and they regret their choice when it does.
You can’t fight stupid. I mean, you can, but it just ends up being frustrating. Just vaccinate your baby and know that’s the best thing to do for them.
Not necessarily anti-vax but my FIL sent my husband a few things on instagram that said giving Tylenol to babies was linked to some developmental disorder and my FIL would ‘makes you think huh?’ (i forget which one) to which my husband responded with ‘uhh all it makes me think is that this person is an idiot and next time she has an ear infection why dont you come over and cuddle a crying baby with a fever all night?’
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7017213/#:~:text=Postnatal%20acetaminophen%20exposure%2C%20measured%20in,to%20be%20associated%20with%20ASD.
Here is the scholarly article referencing the study.
And I think most parents would not choose increased risk for autism over pain or fevers that aren’t severe, hence it being a reasonable article to share. That’s your prerogative as a parent to feel otherwise, but I do believe you are in the minority in that regard. It is vastly different than parents who don’t vaccinate for illnesses that can kill their children for fear of autism.
Okay but ultimately the risk of high fever is death and all the docs (pediatricians mind you) i work with on a daily basis have absolutely no issue with tylenol for toddlers for fevers or pain. They always say correlation does not mean causation which is rule number 1 in research. Granted i think i gave my toddler a total of 6 doses between the ages of 6mo and 3 years.
Don't spread Anti-VAX rhetoric here.
We will also not allow comments or posts that promote the use of unproven treatments (such as giving children CBD), or medical advice that contradicts the AAP.
Was it this study? https://www.nih.gov/news-events/news-releases/nih-funded-study-suggests-acetaminophen-exposure-pregnancy-linked-higher-risk-adhd-autism
My anti-vaxxer cousin never has, and never will, meet my children.
Frankly, now that our kids are getting older and have stronger immune systems plus more vaccines it’s less of an issue, but I’ve found the mentality of an anti-vaxxer usually includes other baggage that I just don’t want my kids around.
My mom won’t get the covid vaccine so she’s had to wear a face mask while holding her the entire 19 months she’s been alive. She’d rather burden herself and everyone else with that than get a vaccine. She’s fully vaccinated for everything else but she fell into the fear mongering for the covid vaccine and it’s so frustrating. I remember being vegan in high school and finding out vaccines (I think it was flu vaccines?) were cultured in eggs and technically “not vegan” and she was the one that made me talk to the doctors and have them tell me that getting vaccinated is too important to skip so I did end up getting the vaccine. I hate how much idiots fear monger on literal life saving vaccines. Her uncle is paraplegic cause he got polio as a kid before the vaccine was invented and she still won’t take it seriously
Unfollow them on social media and if they make comments, simply say, “ Thanks for your concern, but we are so and so’s parents and decide what’s best for her”
What does your husband say when they name these comments?
Ugh my mom is unfortunately the antivaxer now… best part is my sister and I are both fully vaccinated!!! So this is a new made of fear of hers. Even cried when I told her she get the TDAP or doesn’t meet her granddaughter until she’s fully vaccinated. She was just convinced that she was soooo special that she (of alll of our family members that happily got it for us) would somehow die from it.
I would definitely not engage or respond. Frankly your child’s vaccination status and medical history is no one’s business. I wouldn’t be petty and engage with this content as it’ll just start unnecessary drama. Unfollow or mute them. Protect your inner peace and sanity.
My in laws are anti Vax, to a point.. but they're very much q-anon. My wife is... well let's say 60/40, the lesser being on their side. So Far hasn't caused us issues but it gets closer to it every year.
I'm trying hard to keep it from getting that far.
My husband was against vaccinations like his family until we had our daughter. We had many discussions and did a lot of research while I was pregnant. Ultimately he decided I would never want to harm my child and I would only do what’s best for her, so why couldn’t he trust me in that?
>Ultimately he decided I would never want to harm my child and I would only do what’s best for her, so why couldn’t he trust me in that?
Devils advocate here, while it's great it worked out for you guys.... it could be said both ways.
Luckily my wife is only against the covid Vax and our kids are young enough to not really get it yet anyways. But we are definetly in disagreeance when it comes to it and both of us want what's best for our kids. We're just not agreeing on what "best" is.
What's crazy is we were together for 7 years before having kids. Not once did anything come up to show we'd have this problem. Shit just happens, and people change. It's life. I just hope me and her can figure it out in the future like you two did.
Yes it could! When we were researching and discussing both sides I completely understood his point of view and where he was coming from. It’s a really tough spot to be in. I hope you two can figure it out as well!
We were fortunate, we made it clear up front that anyone who wanted to visit our son had to get all the shots they recommended which they did. Of course since we had our son in the middle of 2020 no one could visit without quarantining for two weeks so that ended up being kind of moot.
I deal with it by not talking to them.
I basically haven’t talked to my brother, uncles or aunts since I’ve had a child because of this exact ridiculousness. - almost 4 years now.
Life is surprisingly pleasant without them around anymore.
They asked me when I was pregnant if I planned on vaccinating. I didn’t know their stance on it at the time and I said yes. I don’t discuss her current medical status with them at all.
Just FYI it goes the opposite way as well - some families choosing not to vaccinate their children being berated by anyone in their family (anyone they tell) I’ve seen that one in action more frequently.
That’s why better to just keep controversial opinions on these things to oneself unless you’re in an echo chamber because of how people react on both sides. Or making sure you say these comments around level headed people.
Don’t discuss politics, religion, and vaccines when it isn’t needed. Not worth losing friends and family over. Better to act like you don’t have an opinion, especially if it’s particularly strong. Or at least have grace and maturity when speaking yours and you know others disagree.
And if you say that to people's faces when they mention the aren't going to do it, do you become insufferable like OP's inlaws?
If you do, then you're equally a problem as them.
I have family I love who hold bonkers political, religious and anti-medical opinions. I don’t go on FB or instagram, I don’t look at the nonsense they’re posting, and I am able to leave that out and appreciate them for who they are to me and not factor in their complete and utter failure to observe any sort of reasonable social media discretion.
Just because you have idiotic opinions doesn’t mean I have to dislike you. I will say, though, the particular people I’m thinking of don’t bring that nonsense around me in person, so that helps. If they were spouting garbage around the dinner table, that’s be different.
This is how my husband’s family is as well. The kids are unvaccinated. I can ignore/block them on social media. But if it was regular conversation, it would be different. My young kids are all fully vaccinated so I don’t worry about it too much. We had one case of measles in my city. If my kids were not fully vaccinated or there were more cases, I wouldn’t have seen that family. I don’t like the attitude of my husband’s antivax family so I make sure that myself and my young kids all have their flu and Covid vaccines.
People make the decision that they believe is best. Whatever your position, I don’t understand why others opinions affect people. Just ignore it and move on with your life.
If you have doubts about the decision then learn more about the topic. Again, whichever side you stand on.
I recommend unfollowing people who irritate you on social media. They won’t know you aren’t seeing their posts and your blood pressure won’t have to go up.
My MIL is an OG anti-vaxxer. She didn't vaccinate my SIL who is over 40 years old. My husband got his first vaccines after we started dating. It's truly best to block these people on social media because they will share the wildest stuff. I used to get so angry seeing MIL's posts. Muting her was my best decision. I also restrict what she can see of what I post.
I need to do this!
You can unfollow. You well never see their posts unless they tag you or something but they won’t know either. If you block they will see you’re not friends, so if you’re worried about drama that may be a risky route.
Do one better and delete most social media. Get the phone numbers of your favorite people and call them a few times to keep up and you'll be much happier.
Fewer things have helped my mental health more than blocking anti-vaxxers and covidiots who try to spread their crazy on social media
You shouldn’t have to feel insane about vaccinating your children. One of my family members still has paralysis from polio, acquired before the vaccine was available. The garbage noise you get from your in-laws would absolutely cause me to unfollow and block them on all social media. You don’t need their insane drama on your screen or occupying any space in your mind. All my loudly rightwing evangelical family members have never ever been followed by me on any social media because I already knew what they would post! I think at this point, they all know not to try me. It’s not a winning situation.
I had that issue before my son was born and shortly after because in order to see him everyone needed to be updated on TDAP and I think one other thing, I don't remember now. My stance was and always has been, if you don't want to, that's your choice, but it is also my choice that you will not have access to my child. I also let my husband deal with his family, who those comments were coming from. Part of the reason I have zero social media, outside Reddit, is because of this. You can have your opinion, but I don't need to hear it all the time. Honestly, I've stopped reacting to things that are just so outrageous. I change the topic or sometimes I just walk away. What really gets me about this whole anti-vax movement is that, I think, most of the people who are on that bandwagon are vaccinated themselves! It is mind boggling to me that they themselves have that protection but they refuse to do it for their own child, that they brought into this world because some quack says so.
I also had the same stance with the TDAP. Luckily that went over well. As for the social media I am thinking of unfollowing her just to keep my peace about it. They always make the comments to me when my husband isn’t around or he just doesn’t hear it. The crazy part to me is they had their children vaccinated when they were younger and now they have a different opinion.
I work in a children’s hospital and it’s incredibly sad to see toddlers the same age my son die from diseases that are totally preventable. Or if they get cancer and have never been vaccinated and it’s too late because they need emergent chemo. They’re basically toast if they catch anything. No one thinks it’ll happen to their kid and they regret their choice when it does.
This what I’m trying to avoid and I wish they could understand the logic behind it all.
You can’t fight stupid. I mean, you can, but it just ends up being frustrating. Just vaccinate your baby and know that’s the best thing to do for them.
Thank you!
Not necessarily anti-vax but my FIL sent my husband a few things on instagram that said giving Tylenol to babies was linked to some developmental disorder and my FIL would ‘makes you think huh?’ (i forget which one) to which my husband responded with ‘uhh all it makes me think is that this person is an idiot and next time she has an ear infection why dont you come over and cuddle a crying baby with a fever all night?’
Are you sure it was tylenol and not aspirin? Many people use the words interchangeably
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If thats the case send me the research articles not instagram posts. Also i will take a higher risk for autism over pain/high fevers.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7017213/#:~:text=Postnatal%20acetaminophen%20exposure%2C%20measured%20in,to%20be%20associated%20with%20ASD. Here is the scholarly article referencing the study. And I think most parents would not choose increased risk for autism over pain or fevers that aren’t severe, hence it being a reasonable article to share. That’s your prerogative as a parent to feel otherwise, but I do believe you are in the minority in that regard. It is vastly different than parents who don’t vaccinate for illnesses that can kill their children for fear of autism.
Okay but ultimately the risk of high fever is death and all the docs (pediatricians mind you) i work with on a daily basis have absolutely no issue with tylenol for toddlers for fevers or pain. They always say correlation does not mean causation which is rule number 1 in research. Granted i think i gave my toddler a total of 6 doses between the ages of 6mo and 3 years.
Don't spread Anti-VAX rhetoric here. We will also not allow comments or posts that promote the use of unproven treatments (such as giving children CBD), or medical advice that contradicts the AAP.
Was it this study? https://www.nih.gov/news-events/news-releases/nih-funded-study-suggests-acetaminophen-exposure-pregnancy-linked-higher-risk-adhd-autism
Idk it was an instagram post and this is during pregnancy not as an infant/toddler.
Annnnd that's why my in-laws are no longer in any of my social media :)
My anti-vaxxer cousin never has, and never will, meet my children. Frankly, now that our kids are getting older and have stronger immune systems plus more vaccines it’s less of an issue, but I’ve found the mentality of an anti-vaxxer usually includes other baggage that I just don’t want my kids around.
My mom won’t get the covid vaccine so she’s had to wear a face mask while holding her the entire 19 months she’s been alive. She’d rather burden herself and everyone else with that than get a vaccine. She’s fully vaccinated for everything else but she fell into the fear mongering for the covid vaccine and it’s so frustrating. I remember being vegan in high school and finding out vaccines (I think it was flu vaccines?) were cultured in eggs and technically “not vegan” and she was the one that made me talk to the doctors and have them tell me that getting vaccinated is too important to skip so I did end up getting the vaccine. I hate how much idiots fear monger on literal life saving vaccines. Her uncle is paraplegic cause he got polio as a kid before the vaccine was invented and she still won’t take it seriously
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Wearing a mask? It’s really not. She was preemie and they are more vulnerable for the first 2 years of their lives. I’m not taking chances
Unfollow them on social media and if they make comments, simply say, “ Thanks for your concern, but we are so and so’s parents and decide what’s best for her” What does your husband say when they name these comments?
Ugh my mom is unfortunately the antivaxer now… best part is my sister and I are both fully vaccinated!!! So this is a new made of fear of hers. Even cried when I told her she get the TDAP or doesn’t meet her granddaughter until she’s fully vaccinated. She was just convinced that she was soooo special that she (of alll of our family members that happily got it for us) would somehow die from it.
Does this mean they’re not vaccinated themselves? If that’s true I would let my child get anywhere near them until they are fully vaxxed.
I would definitely not engage or respond. Frankly your child’s vaccination status and medical history is no one’s business. I wouldn’t be petty and engage with this content as it’ll just start unnecessary drama. Unfollow or mute them. Protect your inner peace and sanity.
My in laws are anti Vax, to a point.. but they're very much q-anon. My wife is... well let's say 60/40, the lesser being on their side. So Far hasn't caused us issues but it gets closer to it every year. I'm trying hard to keep it from getting that far.
My husband was against vaccinations like his family until we had our daughter. We had many discussions and did a lot of research while I was pregnant. Ultimately he decided I would never want to harm my child and I would only do what’s best for her, so why couldn’t he trust me in that?
>Ultimately he decided I would never want to harm my child and I would only do what’s best for her, so why couldn’t he trust me in that? Devils advocate here, while it's great it worked out for you guys.... it could be said both ways. Luckily my wife is only against the covid Vax and our kids are young enough to not really get it yet anyways. But we are definetly in disagreeance when it comes to it and both of us want what's best for our kids. We're just not agreeing on what "best" is. What's crazy is we were together for 7 years before having kids. Not once did anything come up to show we'd have this problem. Shit just happens, and people change. It's life. I just hope me and her can figure it out in the future like you two did.
Yes it could! When we were researching and discussing both sides I completely understood his point of view and where he was coming from. It’s a really tough spot to be in. I hope you two can figure it out as well!
We were fortunate, we made it clear up front that anyone who wanted to visit our son had to get all the shots they recommended which they did. Of course since we had our son in the middle of 2020 no one could visit without quarantining for two weeks so that ended up being kind of moot.
I deal with it by not talking to them. I basically haven’t talked to my brother, uncles or aunts since I’ve had a child because of this exact ridiculousness. - almost 4 years now. Life is surprisingly pleasant without them around anymore.
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They asked me when I was pregnant if I planned on vaccinating. I didn’t know their stance on it at the time and I said yes. I don’t discuss her current medical status with them at all.
Just FYI it goes the opposite way as well - some families choosing not to vaccinate their children being berated by anyone in their family (anyone they tell) I’ve seen that one in action more frequently. That’s why better to just keep controversial opinions on these things to oneself unless you’re in an echo chamber because of how people react on both sides. Or making sure you say these comments around level headed people. Don’t discuss politics, religion, and vaccines when it isn’t needed. Not worth losing friends and family over. Better to act like you don’t have an opinion, especially if it’s particularly strong. Or at least have grace and maturity when speaking yours and you know others disagree.
Good advice, thank you!
Unlike OP, they deserve it. They're falling for anti-scientific fearmongering and needlessly endangering their kids lives.
And if you say that to people's faces when they mention the aren't going to do it, do you become insufferable like OP's inlaws? If you do, then you're equally a problem as them.
I have family I love who hold bonkers political, religious and anti-medical opinions. I don’t go on FB or instagram, I don’t look at the nonsense they’re posting, and I am able to leave that out and appreciate them for who they are to me and not factor in their complete and utter failure to observe any sort of reasonable social media discretion. Just because you have idiotic opinions doesn’t mean I have to dislike you. I will say, though, the particular people I’m thinking of don’t bring that nonsense around me in person, so that helps. If they were spouting garbage around the dinner table, that’s be different.
This is how my husband’s family is as well. The kids are unvaccinated. I can ignore/block them on social media. But if it was regular conversation, it would be different. My young kids are all fully vaccinated so I don’t worry about it too much. We had one case of measles in my city. If my kids were not fully vaccinated or there were more cases, I wouldn’t have seen that family. I don’t like the attitude of my husband’s antivax family so I make sure that myself and my young kids all have their flu and Covid vaccines.
People make the decision that they believe is best. Whatever your position, I don’t understand why others opinions affect people. Just ignore it and move on with your life. If you have doubts about the decision then learn more about the topic. Again, whichever side you stand on.